The Tracker
by madaboutforks
Summary: Jacob has Nessie… but can he keep her? When Nessie encounters a tracker with a dark past, her world begins to change and her deepest loyalties are put to the test. A Nessie and Jake love story. Canon. COMPLETE.
1. What is she?

Disclaimer for the whole story: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

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><p><strong>Dear Reader, <strong>

**This story is a sequel to 'Nessie and Jake, Phases'.**

**But don't panic… **

**This story exists in its own right, THERE IS ****NO NEED**** TO READ THE ORIGINAL STORY because I have provided you with the main background information in the following handy recap:**

_At the age of sixteen, Nessie was given a chance to attend high school for a year, as a senior. (She was pretending to be eighteen)._

_She went to stay in Forks with Charlie and his wife, Sue. Her parents were living nearby at the big house, and Jake was still at La Push. _

_After a number of ups and downs, including falling out with Jake and being chased by a real werewolf, Nessie and Jake fell in love, and finally got together at the end of the school year._

_Seth was also living in Charlie's house. Seth imprinted on Embry's cousin, Marie. _

**(You are probably wondering how I stretched that into twenty nine chapters).**

**Anyway, the story commences six months later, when Nessie is seventeen, and will principally be told from her point of view...**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1. <strong>

**What is she?**

There was only one thing more soul destroying than an airport terminal. And that was a crowded airport terminal just after Christmas.

So it was lucky that I didn't have a soul.

If I had, it wouldn't have survived Manchester's luggage collection point.

Apparently, every inhabitant of New Hampshire had returned from their Christmas vacations with twenty suitcases of presents. We were going to be here for the rest of eternity and – unfortunately for us – that was a literal possibility.

"Damn it! How many bags does one person need?" I snapped, causing Hal to break out of his daydream and say in a dazed voice.

"What was that?"

After all these years I still couldn't believe that my brother was so unobservant. Was he a vampire at all? I grinned and shook my head.

"Don't worry about it. Sorry to disturb you."

Oblivious to my sarcasm, he replied amiably. "That's quite alright."

He was a great guy, but sometimes it was hard spending so much time with someone who was always lost in his own world. But let's face it; company of our kind was pretty thin on the ground.

Glancing around me, I scanned the faces of our fellow travellers. Airports had the same effect on humans as service stations. They were instantly drained of their good looks and colour, so the final result was a crowd of grey, miserable faces. Not the most appetising group I'd ever encountered!

The only people who were impervious to the sapping effect of their surroundings were the kids. They all seemed to have found extra energy reserves, just right for annoying the crap out of everyone else. Would anyone really mind if I disposed of a couple of them? It was almost worth considering.

I smiled at the thought and caught the eye of a young woman nearby, she had been watching Hal with fascination; his unusual appearance always provoked interest. I winked at her, and she blushed and smiled at me, then glanced guiltily at the guy standing beside her. Fortunately for him, our bags appeared at that very moment, so he was left with his girl and we could finally get out of this hell hole.

Heading towards the main entrance, I glanced at Hal. "They're sending a car, right?" I didn't feel like running to Hanover.

"Yes, I think so," his vagueness was hardly reassuring; I sighed and glanced around the huge concourse, looking for some entertainment. A second later, I found it.

An excited gasp came from nearby. "Hey! Take a look at _that..!_"

My eyes darted to a group of young men, standing near the elevators. They were craning their necks, to look at something that was out of my view. The murmurs of approval continued.

"_Wow..!_"

"Do you think she's a model?"

"Yeah… she's hot enough."

This, I had to see. I caught hold of Hal's arm and slowed him down. "Wait a second."

"What is it, Leo?" As usual, he had no idea what was going on.

"Humour me," I smiled and turned my head back towards the guys. At that moment, the object of their admiration came into view, and my jaw dropped open in surprise. Whatever I had expected, it wasn't this.

A staggeringly good-looking girl of about eighteen – I mean a real _fox_ – with long, auburn hair and flawless white skin, walked away from the elevator. Her attire was attention grabbing; a short, fitted, cocktail dress and high heels, when everyone else in the airport was wearing thick overcoats.

But when you put a dress like that onto a killer body, and topped it off with such a stunning face, it was hardly surprising that she seemed to have rendered every man she passed completely incoherent.

Oddly, it was not her obvious desirability that made _me_ gasp. As I watched her, I couldn't quite believe my eyes.

My first assumption had been that she was a vampire. But within seconds I knew that I was wrong. Something was off, this was no vampire. I could see a flush on her skin, but her skin wasn't human either, it was too luminous.

_What the hell was she?_

I caught hold of Hal's arm and pulled him with me, into a more discreet viewing position.

"Look at that!" I whispered and he followed my eye line.

For once in his life he concentrated, and as soon as he caught sight of the stranger, his eyes opened wide with surprise.

"My goodness!"

"I'll say!"

"Is she a vampire?" He asked quietly.

The girl passed us at a distance, moving through the crowd with a notable grace and fluidity. No human could move like this. We weren't the only ones watching her. Everyone she passed turned their heads for a second, or third, look.

She didn't see us, or smell us; we were downwind of her. I started to follow her, at a safe distance. Hal tagged along after me, because – by some miracle – even he was interested.

That was when I got the first trace of her scent. It definitely wasn't human, or vampire for that matter. It was nice, kind of like vanilla. I took another breath and was hit by a nasty animal smell. Blah! Somehow, this smell didn't fit with the girl at all, but I couldn't believe it was coming from anyone else either.

This situation was getting weirder every minute, so I shouldn't have been surprised when I caught the sounds of a humming heartbeat and pulse. I couldn't believe it, she was really breathing. That's when it hit me.

_Holy crap!_ This girl was actually _alive!_

She passed through the exit doors and into the cold night and I noticed that she didn't react to the freezing wind, in spite of the fact that she wasn't wearing a jacket. Once outside, she hurried towards the parking lot. I thrust my bag into Hal's arms.

"Take this and go find our ride. I'll be back in a minute. Thanks."

"Leo, what are you doing?" Hal looked uncharacteristically anxious. "You're not going to hunt her, are you?"

"For crying out loud…" I rolled my eyes. "No, I just want to find out a little more about her."

Knowing that she'd be long gone by the time had Hal finished discussing it; I threw him a wide smile and started to jog after her.

"See you later."

She was moving swiftly and I didn't want to let her out of my sight. I was pretty sure that she hadn't noticed me, she was still upwind. Her body language was relaxed, and her breathing sounded steady.

I saw her pull some keys from her purse and unlock a flashy silver Mercedes. For a moment, I was unsure whether or not to make contact with her, but decided against it. I wasn't a tracker for nothing; I already had a strong fix on her scent. I would be able to find her anywhere now, and how often did I get a really inviting trail?

Watching as she pulled out of the parking lot and drove away, I smiled to myself. This trip was already looking more interesting.

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><p><strong><span>Author's notes:<span>**

**I love hearing from you, it's so nice to know what you think (if what you think is nice, ha ha), so please review :)**

**I would just like to send a massive thank you to willowbae, my very amazing beta. I am so lucky to have your help and support, you'll never know how much I appreciate it :) **


	2. Nessie, supervision

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

**Thanks to willowbae for all her help on this chapter. Any remaining mistakes are all mine :)**

**Now it's time to see what Nessie is doing...**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2.<strong>

**Nessie – supervision**

"Honey, I'm trying to concentrate," said Jake, throwing me an exasperated glance from the other side of the elegant living room.

"Sorry," I smiled innocently and focused really hard on the picture in my head.

"_I mean it!_"

"Ok, ok… I'll stop."

Uncle Emmett gave me a disapproving look. Good! I was glad I was annoying him. He was deliberately spoiling my last afternoon with Jake.

Instead of going hunting with the others, Uncle Emmett had decided to stay at the house and chaperone me. Not that he would admit it; no he came up with some lame excuse about wanting to watch 'It's a Wonderful Life' on TV. Like he'd never seen _that_ movie before!

I was spending the Christmas vacation with my family in New Hampshire. I had flown over from Seattle – where I was studying – and had brought Jacob with me. He wasn't staying for the full two weeks; instead he planned to return to La Push for the New Year. He was flying home that evening and we hadn't had one moment alone together since we'd arrived.

It wasn't that I expected any privacy in a house full of people, and I understood that everyone wanted to catch up with me after so many weeks apart, but I don't think that Jake and I had been left unsupervised since stepping off the plane.

The main instigator of this plan was Uncle Emmett; he thought that I hadn't noticed the way he always just _happened_ to be around, even when everyone else had gone out.

Jake didn't hunt in New Hampshire; he thought that giant wolf tracks might excite too much interest from the locals. So when the rest of the family went to the forest, I stayed home with him. And Uncle Emmett stayed with us, unless he was certain that someone else was going to be there.

I didn't know what Uncle Emmett thought was going to happen if we were left alone. Correction! I knew _exactly_ what he thought was going to happen. Unfortunately, he was wrong. Jake and I were caught in a surprisingly complex situation, so Uncle Emmett really needn't have worried.

He had even sat on the sofa next to me, just to make sure that Jake ended up in a chair across the room. This was one of the reasons why I was practicing my talent; because Uncle Emmett had no idea what I was sending to Jake, and he hated it.

Straight after my ordeal with the real werewolf, I'd sent my memories to Jake and my parents without touching them. After that time, I had wondered if I could cultivate this skill. Since starting college, I had been working on it and was making reasonable progress.

My principal guinea pig was Jake. He had thought it was cool at first, but by now the novelty had worn off. I had to admit, he was still pretty tolerant of me practicing on him. I could send short memories or messages, but nothing as powerful as that very first time, when I had been in a heightened emotional state.

An unexpected side effect of my ESP practice was that I could also send images with _any _physical contact. I was no longer restricted to using my hands on other people's faces or necks. Though I must confess that old habits die hard, and I generally used my gift the old way.

When it came to sending messages without touch, my overall control had improved, but the power was still fairly unimpressive. Having said that, it was still enough to catch Jacob's attention! After a few minutes, he had become absorbed in his boring car magazine again and I distracted him with another picture.

His eyes narrowed as they met my defiant expression. "One day your dad's going to catch you doing that," he said smoothly. "And then you'll be sorry."

This was for Uncle Emmett's benefit more than anything else; I hadn't sent anything _that_ outrageous. I played along, keeping my face earnest, as I passionately exclaimed.

"I don't care! I wouldn't care if he knew _everything!_ We shouldn't have to be _ashamed_."

Next to me, Uncle Emmett gave a start.

"You might change your mind, if you saw his reaction," replied Jake, looking solemn.

Right now the only reaction I was interested in was Uncle Emmett's. He wasn't easy to shock, but we were definitely doing it now.

Still behaving as if Uncle Emmett was invisible, I threw Jake a seductive look and said quietly. "Well, I don't have to worry about that… my dad's not here."

I honestly don't know how Jake kept a straight face, as answered me. "Don't you know what happens if you get a wolf excited?"

I was really enjoying myself. Sitting forward, I stared deep into his eyes. "No… you'll have to tell me!"

Jake leaned towards me. "I could just _show_ you."

"Ok," I whispered breathlessly.

Before I'd had a chance to prepare myself – or Uncle Emmett had had time to object – Jake had sprung from his chair and with a single movement, pinned me to the back of the sofa. With his face an inch away from mine, he grinned.

"You asked for it!"

He then, very deliberately, _licked_ my cheek.

"Ew… _gross!_" I shrieked and pushed him away, laughing. "You're so disgusting." I wiped my wet cheek with my hand. "Now I'm going to have to wash my face."

"Why? I just gave it one," Jacob smirked.

"I meant with something other than spit." Yuk!

Uncle Emmett looked as if he was going to be sick.

Jake's prank seemed to have put him in a good mood; he lifted me off the sofa and sat down in my place, then pulled me onto his knee. He had decided not to be put off by my officious relative, so I followed his example.

Ignoring Uncle Emmett's disapproving tut, I slipped my arms around Jacob's neck, as he began to kiss my collar bone.

"Did I mention how good you look?" He murmured, letting his hand rest on my thigh.

"About a two dozen times," I smiled.

My outfit was an unexpected hit. It was a bit stupid really. I was ridiculously overdressed, to compensate for an argument I'd had with Aunt Alice on the previous day.

She'd given me a ton of clothes for Christmas and was very offended when I'd chosen to wear something that I'd bought for myself. Walking into the living room in a blouse and jeans, I was confronted by Aunt Alice's disgruntled face.

"Honestly, sweetheart, I thought we'd taught you how to dress."

Sweeping her blonde tresses over her shoulder, Aunt Rose joined in. "Maybe Bella's genes have finally kicked in?"

I bristled defensively. "What's wrong with the way I look?"

Aunt Alice skipped over to where I was standing and gave me an appraising stare. "Don't get upset. It's just that you look so… so…" apparently my appearance was beyond words. She threw a glance at Aunt Rose, hoping for some help.

"Alice, you're wasting your time, she probably wants to fit in with her _boyfriend_ by dressing that way," said Aunt Rose, cuttingly.

She didn't usually say mean things to me, but she couldn't resist making a nasty comment about Jacob. She still hadn't got over the fact that I wanted to be with him. My eyes narrowed and I bit back a rude retort. Then, taking a deep breath, I said calmly.

"No, I went shopping with my friends and none of them could afford to go to the designer stores."

Aunt Alice picked up on the tension and tried to lighten the mood, by saying glibly. "Ok, you can shop with your friends, but does that mean that you actually have to _wear _what you buy?"

I wasn't in the mood for her humour and raised my eyebrows. "What's the point of buying clothes that I don't wear? Isn't that a bit wasteful?"

Aunt Alice had nothing to say to this remark, and Aunt Rose threw me a patronising glance. "Have four months of Anthropology rubbed off on you Nessie? Are you 'one of the people' now?"

This time I had no intention of being polite, but I was interrupted by Grandma Esme coming into the room. She must have heard the conversation, because she put her arm around me sympathetically and turned to the others, wearing as stern an expression as she could muster.

"You two could do well to follow Nessie's example. She's trying to think about other people and be responsible."

I felt slightly embarrassed; Grandma Esme had made me sound like a crusading human rights activist. Aunt Alice grumbled in frustration.

"I was thinking about other people too… I was thinking about Nessie! I feel _responsible_ for her fashion sense."

Grandma Esme ignored her and gave me a hug. "_I _think you look lovely, sweetheart."

This was the end of the argument, but I did feel guilty for being so touchy, I knew that Aunt Alice was sincerely trying to help me. So the next morning, to make up for it, I put on one of her Christmas presents.

It was an elegant cocktail dress, cut above the knee and very fitted, made of midnight blue velvet. It was one of her most glamorous gifts, but I figured that I may as well go the whole nine yards, if I was going to bother at all. I also put on a pair of high heels to match the dress.

The family all looked slightly stunned when I appeared downstairs, including Aunt Alice, but she didn't dare pass any comments. The only person who wholeheartedly approved was Jake, when I entered the room he exclaimed.

"Wow, you look amazing!"

By pure chance, it turned out that wearing this outfit was the best possible revenge I could have had. The rest of the family had to listen to Jacob's admiration for the rest of the day and I was confident that nothing could have annoyed Aunt Rose more.

By the time I was sitting on Jacob's lap, Uncle Emmett had probably had enough too. I had to admit that this dress was definitely going up in my estimation.

Jake moved his lips to my throat. "You smell good too."

I touched his cheek. _Which do you like more, me now or me last Halloween?_

I had taken Jake to my college Halloween party in October. He hadn't gone in costume, but I'd been unable to resist dressing up. My outfit that evening had taken on a mythical status in Jacob's mind. He narrowed his eyes in thought and then said.

"Wonder Woman was hotter… but only just."

Uncle Emmett had finally reached his limit and decided it was time to intervene.

"I'm trying to watch a movie here. Could you two keep it down?" He said in blighting accents.

I gave up the fight and reluctantly climbed off Jake's knee. "Alright, fine." Glancing at the clock, I pulled Jake's arm. "We'd better be going soon anyway. The traffic will probably be bad."

So it transpired that the only time we had alone together was when we said goodbye at Manchester Airport. I drove Jacob there and went with him to the departures gate.

Neither of us was dressed in weather appropriate clothes, we must have looked quite funny. I was still in my cocktail dress and he was wearing shorts and a t-shirt. We walked arm-in-arm and somehow, when it was time for him to leave, I just couldn't let go.

"I wish you were staying," gazing into his eyes, I clung to him.

"Me too, I hate it when you're so far away," he kissed me. "But I'll pick you up from the airport when you fly out. That's only a week away."

I nodded and hoped that I wasn't about to start crying, which would be pretty pathetic. Jake seemed to sense that I was on the edge – emotionally speaking – because he tried to cheer me up.

"Just promise me you'll be wearing another of Alice's presents."

It worked and I gave a small laugh. "After today, Uncle Emmett will probably have confiscated them all… and started a bonfire."

"That's too bad," he smiled, before meeting my eyes with grave look. "And _promise_ me that you'll stay safe."

"Only if you promise me, too," I smiled at his serious expression.

"It's a deal," he gave me one final hug and started walking towards the gate. "I'll call you later. I love you, Nessie."

"Love you, too."

I watched until I could no longer see his tall form, then I made my way up to the observation area. There was no hurry for me to get home and I wanted to wait until I'd seen his flight take off. The observation area was almost deserted and I stood watching the flights arriving and departing for ages. Night had fallen by the time I left.

I took the elevator back down and when the doors opened to the main concourse, I discovered that the airport was still packed. The floor was covered with bags and suitcases, and I had to do some fancy footwork to avoid tripping over all the baggage.

People kept looking at me; they must have thought that I was crazy, hopping all over the place. My high heels didn't help, but by some miracle, I made it to the exit without a serious accident.

At least Mom's Mercedes was parked nearby – for once I'd had the sense to put it in the closest parking lot. It was dark and cold and I just wanted to get home. Looking up at the sky, I imagined what Jake was doing and remembered that he was getting further away from me with every passing second. This wasn't a very sensible line of thought. Feeling slightly depressed, I hurried to the car.

As I drove away, I reminded myself that it was only a few days before we would see each other again. Until then, I could enjoy being with the family and find other ways to occupy myself.

Secretly, I knew that it would probably be pretty boring.

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Please review, it's very inspiring if you do and I love to know what you think :)**

**I will be updating regularly, so until next time, have a great week :)**


	3. Nessie, guests

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

**I just want to say a special thank you to my wonderful beta willowbae for all her help with this chapter. She's always really helpful and supportive and I am very grateful :) **

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><p><strong>Chapter 3.<strong>

**Nessie – guests**

The next day, I spent most of my time in the study, catching up with all the college work that I'd neglected when Jacob was staying. It was interesting work and distracted me from missing him too much. Grandpa Carlisle was in the room with me, but we were both too absorbed in our studies to talk.

I was really enjoying college. I had enrolled at the University of Washington in September and now lived in Seattle, on the university campus. I was majoring in Anthropology. My family thought this was a strange choice; they didn't really understand that my year spent at Grandpa's house had increased my interest in human behaviour.

My mom and dad had moved to New Hampshire to be with the Cullens. They had spent ages agonising over the decision, but in the end it seemed the most logical thing to do. I wasn't going to be in Forks during the week, so they wouldn't be seeing that much of me anyway.

I think that on the whole they were pleased to move east, since they had really missed the family when they were living in Washington. Of course, now they missed Grandpa and me. But no situation was ever going to be perfect.

Jake was still at La Push, but I did get to see him every weekend. I usually drove to Forks and stayed with Grandpa, but sometimes Jacob would come to Seattle to visit me. Leah, his semi-retired Beta, was pretty nice about having him stay at her apartment on those weekends. She lived with her boyfriend, Greg. He was an easy-going kind of guy, who seemed perfectly happy to have Jake hanging around.

When I originally decided to move to Seattle, Jacob put major pressure on me to live with Leah. He was always overly anxious about my safety and I think he viewed her as extra protection for me. As his Beta and my mom's stepsister, he had thought that it would be fine for me to impose on her that way.

I liked Leah, but on this issue I had to put my foot down. I knew how hard she was trying to lead a normal life, and I couldn't imagine how unhelpful it would be to have a half-vampire in the apartment. She wanted to get away from all the supernatural craziness and I didn't blame her. There was _no way_ that I was going to hustle myself into her home.

Nothing that Jacob could say would convince me otherwise. He even got quite sulky about it, but to no avail. So in spite of his best efforts, Leah and Greg were left in peace and I got to enjoy the relative freedom of a first year student on campus.

Before starting college, as a joke I had told Jake that I was going to major in American Indian Studies. I'd then threatened to turn up at La Push with a notepad and camera, ready to study the tribe.

He was horrified, and the funniest thing of all was the way he tried to talk me out of it, without hurting my feelings. By the time I'd confessed the truth, he was too relieved to feel upset that I had tricked him. Sometimes I secretly wondered if he was nicer to me, than I was to him.

I may have been a _little_ bit mean to him when he was around, but when he returned to La Push, I still missed him enough to spend a whole day in the study, trying to distract myself from the fact that he was so far away.

It was already dark by the time I put down my pen and went to re-join the rest of the family. It turned out that my presence in the living room wasn't a pleasure for everyone. Aunt Rose was very unimpressed that I was wearing Jake's sweatshirt. After listening to a number of comments, I frowned at her.

"I _like_ his scent."

"Evidently!" Aunt Rose wrinkled her nose. "But you could have some consideration for the rest of us. And it doesn't even fit you properly; you look ridiculous."

She would have been horrified if she'd discovered what I wore to bed. Since narrowly escaping being killed by a real werewolf, I'd had regular nightmares. But I noticed that when I could smell Jacob the nightmares stayed away.

I hadn't had any bad dreams when he was staying in the house, but once he returned to La Push, I took the precaution of sleeping in his t-shirt. It made me feel as if he was close. I refrained from mentioning this fact to Aunt Rose, and just smiled as I rolled the dice.

"Oh, 'Community Chest!'" I cried gleefully, moving my little dog past Aunt Alice's hat and Aunt Rose's car. "Will you look at that? I've just won second prize in a beauty contest!" I tried not to sound too smug.

"Isn't that your favourite card, Rosalie?" Teased Aunt Alice as she handed me my ten dollars, I smirked and my dad gave a chuckle from the sofa.

We'd been playing Monopoly for the past hour. Grandma Esme was playing too, but she wasn't really competitive enough. She was always sincerely pleased if anyone else won. It was much more fun to play with someone who actually minded losing. Of course, if anyone beat Aunt Alice, it was nothing short of a miracle. At least she had trouble predicting my moves, which gave me _slightly_ more of a chance.

My mom and dad were watching a movie with Uncle Emmett and Uncle Jasper. Grandpa Carlisle was still in the study… studying! It was just your average vampire family, spending a relaxing evening together.

That was until my dad sat bolt upright and looked towards the tall windows with a concentrated frown. The television was switched off, and Uncle Emmett and Uncle Jasper were on their feet in an instant. The rest of the family froze in their seats.

"Edward," my mother whispered in alarm. "What's wrong?"

He glanced at her with his hand raised, and his face became thoughtful, as if he was listening very intently. She fell silent, her eyes never leaving his face. No one made a sound as we watched and waited. The loudest noise in the room was the sound of my racing heart.

Grandma Esme reached across the table and squeezed my hand reassuringly. I turned my frightened eyes to her face and tried to breathe normally. Grandpa Carlisle chose this inopportune moment to enter the living room. His eyes were on the book in his hands and didn't notice that everyone was so still.

"Listen to this…" he said, as he gazed at the passage, which he wanted to quote.

"_Carlisle!_" Grandma Esme gasped and his eyes snapped up.

Glancing around the room, he tried to understand the reason for the stress, which was emanating from every member of the family. My dad looked at him and said quietly.

"Some guests are about to arrive."

Grandpa Carlisle met his eyes with a serious expression. "Who are they?"

"They're strangers." He looked as if he was still listening to their thoughts. "And they're close." We all knew that he was talking about vampires.

"How many?" Uncle Jasper was already calculating the odds of survival. I immediately felt sick.

"Only two men." Everyone looked relieved until he added. "One of them is a tracker."

My mother groaned and the stress levels in the room seemed to double.

"And the other?" There was a distinct challenge in Uncle Emmett's voice.

"The other is… nervous," my father answered with a slight smile. My mother turned to Aunt Alice who, from her expression, was desperately trying to search the future.

"Alice, what do you see?"

"I don't know. There's a blind spot." She suddenly turned to me, her eyes searching mine. "Nessie, do you know anything about that? Are they connected to you?"

All eyes looked in my direction and I shook my head in vigorous denial. "It's nothing to do with me. _I _don't know who they are."

Aunt Alice's eyes narrowed, as if she was trying to uncover the truth and my dad interrupted quickly.

"Nessie doesn't know anything about this," his eyes became suddenly intent. "But they have come looking for her…"

I heard Aunt Rose hiss, as my mother stood up and exclaimed in a distraught voice. "Edward, what do you mean?"

Uncle Emmett interrupted angrily. "Well, they're not getting her!"

All the time, my mind was in a whirl and I started to panic. Why were these strangers looking for me? What did they want? My dad must have realised how afraid I was, because he came to me and said calmly.

"Don't worry." He glanced around the room and tried to reassure the family. "They don't seem to be intending any harm, they're just curious." He then gazed down at me. "They saw you leaving the airport and didn't know what you were. The tracker couldn't resist the trail. He seems to be the more determined of the two… though that's really no surprise."

"They were at the airport…?" I went cold at the thought. It was a horrible feeling, to discover that I had been watched and followed by these strangers.

"Nessie, sweetheart, don't worry," my mother quickly moved to where I was sitting and wrapped her arms around me. "No one is going to hurt you."

"I'd like to see them try," snapped Uncle Emmett.

I wished that he would stop tempting fate.

"They really haven't come looking for a fight," confirmed my father. "In fact," he smiled. "Right now they are wondering whether or not to turn around and leave. They only realised a few minutes ago that they would be visiting a coven of _eight_ vampires!"

"Where are they now?" Asked Grandpa Carlisle.

"They're on the driveway."

"I'll get the door," said Uncle Emmett ominously.

"Emmett, that really won't be necessary," Grandpa Carlisle intervened quietly, and looked towards my father. "It would probably be less confrontational if Edward answered the door. But you can wait with him in the hall… if you wish."

They both turned to leave the room. Uncle Emmett glanced in my direction just as he reached the door. I had thought that I couldn't feel any worse, but that was before he asked.

"You remember the moves I showed you?"

I gave an inward groan. Uncle Emmett had been teaching me self-defence for a while, but I had been hoping that it was something that I would _never_ actually be expected to use. Before I could start hyperventilating, I felt Uncle Jasper's firm hand on my shoulder.

"She won't need them; no one will be getting that close," he said calmly and Uncle Emmett nodded before going into the hall.

I stood up and moved away from the door, along with my mother and Aunt Alice. Uncle Jasper placed himself in front of us. Grandpa Carlisle stood near the door, by Aunt Rose and Grandma Esme. And we all waited in silence.

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><p><strong><span>Author's notes:<span>**

**I just want to say a really big thank you to everyone who has reviewed this story, sent me PMs or added me to their lists. It's been so nice to get such a positive response. Thank you :) Please keep reviewing, they make my day, week, month...**

**I have a little QUIZ QUESTION, and anyone who gives an answer (even if they don't get it right) will be sent a small teaser for the next chapter: **

**What piece was Esme using in the Monopoly game?**

**It is fairly guessable... (willowbae isn't allowed to enter this quiz because she already knows!)**


	4. Leo, how the other half live

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you to willowbae for all her beta-ing (and for letting me grumble endlessly about the wigs in the Twilight films. That's what happens if you beta for a make-up artist and wig-dresser!) As always her help has been amazing :)<strong>

**Also, Esme was using the _iron_ in chapter 3, hee hee!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 4.<strong>

**Leo – how the other half live**

It was a common misconception among vampires that trackers spent every living moment tearing across the planet on a ferocious hunt.

If only.

Great chases were never easy to come by, and it felt like an eternity since I'd had a trail as genuinely interesting as this one.

By the time I returned to my brother, I was on a high. It was such a powerful feeling, that even I was surprised. There was no denying it; this girl _really _drew me. Hal had located the car sent by the university, and was waiting for me with a worried look on his face.

"I thought that you might have pursued her."

"No, you can relax, I'll do it later." Getting into the car, I gave him a grin. "What are you standing around for? Let's go."

He smiled and climbed in after me.

When we arrived on campus we were met by the professor and taken straight to our rooms. They were surprisingly decent, with expensive furniture and plenty of space. But then, Hal was important to them, it had been a real coupe to get him. Who else were they going to find with his gifts?

After dumping my bag, I sauntered through to my brother's room and found him already busy with his papers and laptop. I sighed; he would be immersed in his work for hours. Sitting down, I flicked on the TV. There was nothing on and I was too restless to concentrate anyway. My mind kept returning to the girl. I wanted to find her; I didn't want a trail as good as this to go cold.

Picking up my jacket, I glanced at Hal. "Hey man, I'm going out."

He nodded without looking up. "Yes, of course," he answered absently. He'd probably look up in two hours' time and be surprised to find me gone. I left him to his work and headed into the night.

This time, I didn't mind the thought of running from Hanover to the airport. The tracker in me had awoken and I could have run five times the distance without complaint.

I struck it lucky. I hadn't gone far towards Manchester when I caught her scent on the road. She must have left her car window open. I almost felt disappointed; she was making it too easy for me. But then I remembered that the most interesting part of _this_ hunt was not the trail, but what I would find at the end of it.

Again my intuition flickered. Why did she matter so much?

I figured I'd find out why, soon enough. Moving at a steady pace, I followed her trail for miles and found myself getting closer to White Mountain National Forest. But her scent didn't continue along the forest road.

Instead, it turned into one of the affluent suburbs nearby; the kind with wide, leafy avenues, sprawling gardens and rich people. Remembering the car that she'd been driving, this made sense.

I wasn't sure how far I wanted to go. I stopped in my tracks and took a moment to assess my situation. I wouldn't lose her trail if I left it for a day, and I wanted time to figure out my next move. She wasn't human, so I'd have to be cautious. I decided not to get too close this time. I had a fair idea of where she'd be, when I came looking again.

I retraced my steps to the university and found Hal, still sitting at his computer, completely unaware that I had been out.

"Hey, Hal," I caught his attention and he dragged his eyes away from the screen.

"Leo?"

"How do you feel about a little trip tomorrow evening?"

He knew me well enough to become instantly wary. "Where do you want to go?"

"I wanted to run towards White Mountain Forest."

"You just want to run?" He threw me a look of deep suspicion.

I returned his look with a wide smile. "Would I lie to you?"

We set out at dusk the next day. Hal grumbled all the way, but I felt great. He was a worrier and over the years I'd learned to ignore it.

"Can't you just let her be? You're playing with fire to track this girl; you don't even know _what_ she is," he reminded me anxiously.

"That's what makes it _interesting_," I rolled my eyes. "Come on, man, where's your sense of adventure?"

"I never had any," he pointed out. "You know that."

True.

He wasn't any use for back-up, but I thought that the trip might do him some good; he needed to get out more.

Everything was going fine, until we reached the place where I'd turned back the night before. We caught the scent of the girl; it was slightly fainter, but still easy to detect. And then I picked up a new trail. It was definitely a vampire.

And then another… and another.

Hal frowned as we continued to follow the girl's trail; we both noticed that these three additional trails were taking the same route as hers. It couldn't be a coincidence. She was part of a coven, I was sure of it. I couldn't decide if this was a good or bad thing. It was always interesting to meet our kind, but who knew if they would be hostile?

And that's when we hit two new trails, and then another two, and then one more. We both stopped in our tracks and Hal exclaimed in a fraught voice.

"_Eight!_ This is a _huge_ coven, Leo."

"I know."

I was amazed, not just because of the number of vampires, but also because of our location. What was a coven of eight vampires doing in the middle of a well-to-do suburb? They couldn't _live_ here. The idea was ridiculous. Did they play golf at the country club and organise bake sales for the local church?

By now, I was far too curious to turn back. Irrespective of my draw to the girl, I just had to see this coven. It wasn't long before we reached their 'lair', which was an unbelievably respectable looking house, set far back from the street at the end of a long drive.

Falling silent, we moved cautiously across the sloping lawn towards the house. Lights were on in most of the windows, another conformation that these vampires were residents rather than burglars.

Having said that, by this point, the scent was so strong that it was obvious they lived here. The smell was everywhere, eight vampires, the girl… and a faint trace of that strange animal smell. Did they keep some kind of pet? I wouldn't put anything past a coven that lived in a place like this.

We looked up at the aged house in its peaceful surroundings and exchanged glances. Neither of us knew what to expect from vampires who lived in such a way. They even had a Christmas tree decorated with fairy lights on the front lawn. Hal gave me a slight smile as if to say, 'this is new!'

I nodded, not quite relaxed enough to return his smile. My defensive instincts were rebelling against the idea of knocking on their front door, even though it was probably the most sensible thing to do. It just seemed weird. There was a part of me, which would have been far more comfortable with the prospect of scaling the house and smashing my way in, via an upstairs window.

Most vampires didn't have immaculately painted front doors, or flashy cars sitting in the driveway. I glanced at the expensive vehicles as we stepped onto the gravel. It looked like half a million dollars in metal, just sitting there.

Of course, Hal didn't notice the cars. His eyes moved warily, appraising the scene. I could see no movement outside the house, but at this close proximity, I could clearly hear voices coming from within.

"Where are they now?" We heard a calm male ask.

I wondered if they were speaking about us.

"They're on the driveway," replied another man.

Apparently, they were.

"I'll get the door," a deeper voice broke in and there was no mistaking the threat in his tone.

Hal gave me a worried look and I must admit that, at that moment, I was feeling more than a little uncomfortable. Maybe Hal had been right from the start; this was probably a bad idea. Was there even time to get away?

For a split second I considered the idea, but then I gave a resigned shrug; we all had to go someday, better to go out fighting. The conversation continued inside the house.

"Emmett that really won't be necessary," the first man said with quiet authority. "It would probably be less confrontational if Edward answered the door. But you can wait with him in the hall… if you wish."

Less confrontational, that sounded ok, outnumbered as we were.

The deep voice spoke again. "You remember the moves I showed you?"

He was answered by a fourth male. "She won't need them; no one will be getting that close." This one sounded self-assured, which wasn't good.

So, now I knew that there were at least four men in the house and one woman. What about the others? I hoped that they would also be women. Not that they couldn't be dangerous too, but I was usually more cautious of males. Men were more likely to get territorial.

Was the strange girl mated to one of the males? If she was, I wouldn't mention that I had tracked her. That would be sure to go down badly.

By now we were standing on the worn, stone doorstep. It was clearly too late to rethink this strategy. Any move we made to escape now, would almost certainly lead to a chase. I sighed in resignation and rang the bell. A moment later, a young-looking vampire answered the door.

He was tall and lean, with dark red hair, and he met my gaze with a guarded expression; glancing quickly from me to Hal, his eyes widened in surprise. He gave a gasp and I found myself echoing him. I couldn't believe it, instead of maroon or red, his eyes were _amber!_ Hal gave a start as he registered the stranger's eyes.

We both stood on the doorstep, like idiots, with nothing to say. The amber-eyed vampire had more self-possession and after a brief second, he opened the door a little further. With a composure that belied his youthful exterior, he said.

"This is unexpected, what can I do for you?"

This polite question was something that neither of us was prepared for, and we exchanged confused glances. The stranger seemed to read the situation with complete accuracy and gave a quizzical smile.

"I suppose you were just curious?"

"Um, sure," I nodded casually; I didn't want to completely lose my cool.

Hal bowed his head stiffly. He was always so formal with strangers that it was funny to watch. I had to bite back a smile.

"Then, won't you come in?" The strange vampire asked hospitably, standing back and inviting us inside. We shuffled our feet like clumsy teenagers and stepped over the threshold.

_Wow! _

Gazing around the spacious entrance hall – with its sweeping staircase and wooden panelling – all I could think was, 'so this is how the other half live'. Our host gave me a friendly smile, almost as if I'd spoken aloud. Hal, who stood close behind me, murmured an apology.

"I hope we didn't disturb you."

"Of course not," the stranger reassured us. "It's a pleasure to meet you," he held out his right hand and smiled as I shook it. "I'm Edward Cullen."

"Leo," I returned the smile and then turned my head. "And this is my brother, Hal."

Edward shook his hand and closed the front door. As he did this, another vampire came into view and he said pleasantly. "And this is _my_ brother, Emmett."

His brother was slightly taller than me and really muscular, he was one of the most heavily built vampires I'd ever seen. I could feel Hal tensing beside me, but I wasn't going to react to this guy, I didn't want to start any trouble by getting too jumpy.

Emmett shook my hand. His body language wasn't aggressive, but it still told me that we were on his turf – like we hadn't already realised! His eyes met mine, then he glanced from me to Hal, and his eyebrows shot up in surprise. I noticed that his eyes were amber, just like his brother's.

"Glad to meet you."

I recognised his deep voice and remembered that he had warned one of the women about defensive moves. I _really_ hoped that he wasn't the mate of the strange girl; I'd had enough experience of angry boyfriends to know that I didn't want any more of it.

Hal stepped forward and made yet another very formal bow. "How do you do, my name is Halsten." I could see that Edward's brother didn't know what to make of him. I found myself smothering another smile.

"Good to meet you, Halsten." He raised his eyebrow questioningly. "Norwegian?"

"Icelandic," Hal replied, looking awkward.

"Oh, right… sorry!"

"Oh no, not at all…" Hal became flustered and started what would have been a convoluted explanation and apology but – fortunately for everyone – Edward interrupted him.

"How rude of us to keep you standing in the hallway. Please, won't you come into the living room and meet the rest of the family?"

He gestured towards one of the doors on the left hand side of the hall, and we followed him cautiously. He entered the room first, followed by Hal and me, with the enormous Emmett close behind. If this was an ambush, we were walking straight into it.

I had to smile… _here goes nothing!_

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><p><strong><span>Author's notes:<span>**

**I just want to send a really big thank you to anyone who has reviewed the chapters. I love reading them and I always try to reply, so please don't feel shy to write them :) **

**And also an additional thank you to all the people who've added this story to their alerts and favourites lists. I've been really surprised by the number who have, so thank you very, very much. It means a lot! And also to all the people who have added 'Nessie and Jake, Phases' to their favourites lists since I started posting this story. That has been an especially nice surprise :)**

**Mad :)**


	5. Nessie, chalk and cheese

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you to my beta willowbae for all her time and help with this chapter. As always, she was great :)<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 5.<strong>

**Nessie – chalk and cheese**

We all listened intently to the conversation in the hall. It didn't sound too unfriendly, quite the opposite. Everyone was trying to be polite – even Uncle Emmett – which was a good sign.

I paid attention to the names. I could already tell that Hal was shy and Leo wasn't, this made it seem very likely that Leo was the tracker. Uncle Jasper kept his position, right in front of me. He was worried that I had become a target, the whole family was.

I had been told about trackers in the past, and nothing I'd heard made me feel particularly reassured. If it hadn't been for the waves of calm emanating from Uncle Jasper, I would have been hiding underneath the table – much good it would have done me.

My father led the strangers into the living room. I'd known that they probably wouldn't be biological brothers, but somehow, I had still unconsciously expected some sort of resemblance between them. They were both very tall and looked to be in their mid-twenties, but that was where the similarity ended. In every other way they were so different that it was quite disconcerting.

The first vampire had by far the most startling appearance of the two. He was about six foot two and very thin. He was dressed in a long dark coat, which only seemed to accentuate his utter chalky whiteness. Never before had I seen a vampire with such pale colouring.

He was so fair that the hair sweeping away from his brow was the same colour as his skin. And as for his eyebrows, they were invisible. The resulting effect was that he actually looked as if he was carved from white stone. His face was bony, with high cheekbones and an aquiline nose, and he had the unmistakeable air of an intellectual.

It was hard to tell if he was handsome or ugly, he just looked so _alien_. If he'd been standing in a crowd of a thousand people, I would have noticed him first. He glanced at the family with a nervous expression and hovered near his brother. This must be Hal; this man could not possibly be the tracker.

So the second vampire had to be Leo. He entered the room with an air of self-assurance. Where his companion was cerebral, this vampire was clearly the athletic type. He was taller and more muscular than his friend, and he radiated physical exuberance. He had graceful, panther-like movements, which would make any sane vampire wary of him.

With a strong brow, straight nose and determined chin, his features were remarkably handsome, and also distinctly wilful. I guessed that this guy was _very_ good at getting his own way. His dark blonde hair was crew cut, and he was wearing a casual pair of jeans and a dark green jacket. He displayed an easy-going confidence, which his shy brother seemed to completely lack. There was absolutely no doubt in my mind that Leo was the tracker.

As they entered the room there was a moment of tension, as if every person present was holding their breath. Uncle Emmett came through the door with a wide smile on his face, his cheerful expression made no sense. There was one moment of complete silence, followed by gasps of disbelief.

I'd been peeking at the strangers from behind Uncle Jasper's back and my mouth fell open too. I had been so busy looking at their general appearance; I hadn't noticed their eyes.

Now I could see, but I couldn't quite believe it… they were golden!

My hand flew to my mouth. "_Oh!_"

At that moment everyone started talking at once.

"It can't be…"

"I don't believe it!"

Half the family instantly surrounded Leo and Hal. The relief was palpable. Hal just looked uneasy, but his brother seemed to be enjoying the attention. He grinned and shook hands with Grandpa Carlisle, and Grandma Esme, and Aunt Rose – to whom he gave a very appreciative smile – and my mom, and Aunt Alice…

My father made the introductions and everyone continued talking. Uncle Jasper and I still kept our distance. Uncle Jasper was naturally suspicious and he wasn't about to get too friendly with this pair. He moved a step towards them and kept his arm extended back, to protect me.

This movement caused Leo to glance in our direction. Whatever he thought about Uncle Jasper's scars didn't show on his face, instead he turned his eyes to me and smiled. There was a great deal of charm in his expression and it was impossible not to respond.

I returned his smile with a cautious one of my own, and edged a little closer, ignoring Uncle Jasper's warning look. Turning my eyes back to Leo, I couldn't help myself from staring foolishly at his golden irises.

"You're a vegetarian."

He narrowed his eyes. "I don't know if the little woodland creatures would agree with you about that."

Grandpa Carlisle chuckled. "Well… quite!"

I took another step towards him and Uncle Jasper caught my arm. "Nessie," he tried to restrain me, but I ignored him. Somehow, I no longer felt afraid, only curious. Leo watched us, with his eyebrows raised. He understood exactly what was happening and gave a lazy smile before speaking to me.

"I may be a vegetarian. But if you don't mind me asking…" his eyes suddenly became intent. "What are _you_?"

I hated this part. The inevitable conversation about my weirdness and the accompanying gasps of surprise and wonder. I gritted my teeth as my father answered him.

"This is my daughter, Renesmee." He moved forward to introduce me.

"How do you do?" I said politely.

"Glad to meet you," Leo smiled at me and turned to my dad, wearing a predictably puzzled expression. "You're her creator?"

"No, she's my biological daughter. My wife, Bella, is her mother." he said gesturing to Mom, who came to stand by me.

"But you're vampires," Leo frowned. "I'm sorry… I don't understand."

Hal stood, like a white spectre, behind him. His eyes were also fixed on me. I started to feel self-conscious and dropped my gaze. At that point, Dad launched into the whole, 'conceived before Bella was turned' speech. I'd heard it too many times before. Feeling embarrassed, I just pulled a face and waited for the exclamations of wonder.

They didn't come.

My eyes flew up in surprise. It seemed as if Hal was too lost in thought to say anything, and Leo was so taken aback that he couldn't speak at all. Glancing at Leo's face, I caught a fleeting look of shock and – could it be – _pain?_ What on earth was he thinking?

My eyes flickered to my father and I was amazed to see the same look of suffering mirrored on his features. It only lasted for a split second, until he caught my eye and forced his features into an expression of passivity. But there was still something in Dad's eyes, which bothered me.

At last, Leo managed to speak. He turned to my father. "You _married_ a human…?" He gasped. "It can't be true…!"

There was so much suppressed feeling in his voice that I felt instantly felt uneasy. I don't think I was the only one. I expected my dad to look offended, but he just nodded and said quietly.

"I know it's hard to believe, but it really is true."

Uncle Emmett broke the uncomfortable silence that followed, by saying jokingly. "None of us could believe it when he first brought Bella home. It was like 'Meet the Vampires.'"

Leo gave a light smile and said casually. "I can imagine," and then he turned to me and added. "Well, it's lucky for you that he did."

"Lucky for all of us," said Grandma Esme, smiling fondly at me.

Leo nodded in such a relaxed way that I started to doubt what I had seen on his face, until I looked at my father, whose expression was still very tense.

"So you're called Résumé," Leo seemed baffled. "Isn't that one of those things you include in a job application?"

"Not Résumé!" I snapped. "Ren…es…mee."

This conversation never got any less exasperating. I found myself wishing for the thousandth time that my mother hadn't been on the brink of death during her pregnancy. If she hadn't been so ill, my dad might not have agreed to the first ridiculous name that she pulled from the top of her head.

As it was, by the time I was born, he'd have probably said 'yes' to anything. I could only feel grateful that she hadn't suggested 'Edwella'. It was fortunate for me that Jake had stepped in with something slightly more liveable, before she could do anything about it. No wonder I loved him so much.

Leo gave a thoughtful smile. "That's quite a mouthful; I guess your friends just call you 'Red.'" I found this reference to my hair colour rather irritating.

"No, they call me Nessie," I answered stiffly, throwing him a resentful look.

He just grinned back, looking completely unabashed. The rest of the family seemed amused by this exchange, which was even more infuriating. I pretended not to care and raised my chin proudly.

"How long are you staying?" My question sounded slightly ruder than I had intended.

"Nessie!" Grandma Esme glanced at me reproachfully. She placed hospitality high on her list of priorities.

Leo looked as if he wanted to laugh. "Don't worry; we can leave anytime you want."

This comment caused Grandma Esme to throw me another disapproving look and say quickly. "No, you mustn't go. Please, won't you sit down?"

"Ok, sure," he smiled triumphantly in my direction and proceeded to sit down on the couch and make himself at home!

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><p><strong><span>Author's notes:<span>**

**Hee hee. Did you see that one coming? **

**I just want to say a _huge_ thank you to everyone who reviewed or added me to their various lists last week. You made me very happy. **

**And an extra thank you to Taru and my anonymous reviewer, who I couldn't PM with replies. I was so pleased to read what you both wrote. And as a special note to the anonymous reviewer, your review was very inspiring, and for someone who thinks that they're not very good at reviews, that it was a_ very_ good one :)**

**Also it's probably worth mentioning that if anyone feels too shy to write a public review, then they are always welcome to send me a PM :)**

**Have a great week, Mad :)**


	6. Nessie, brothers

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

* * *

><p><strong>A massive thanks to willowbae for beta-ing this chapter, I'm always very grateful for all the time and help she gives me, it makes all the difference :)<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 6.<strong>

**Nessie – brothers**

It was a surreal evening, the whole family sitting in the living room, getting to know the strangers. It didn't take long to break the ice, which was probably because Leo was so relaxed. He seemed to have decided that he belonged with us and everyone took him at his own estimation.

He guessed right away that Uncle Jasper was a military man. Uncle Jasper told him some of his history in the southern wars. Both Hal and Leo listened to Uncle Jasper's war stories with far more interest than I had ever shown. Initially, Hal was very reserved; he let Leo do most of the talking, which – by my guess – was something that he was perfectly happy to do.

"I'm thinking you also have military backgrounds," was Uncle Jasper's observation to our guests. I would never have dreamed that Hal could have been part of any war, so I was surprised when Leo nodded.

"Sure, we were both turned to join the Western Army," he inclined his head towards his brother. "Hal was chosen for his brains, our creator wanted a strategist. And me, well I was a gunner's mate in the navy, so he thought that my knowledge of munitions might come in handy."

I was surprised to hear this. "Since when do weapons hurt vampires?" I asked with curiosity.

Leo lifted his eyebrows and threw me a wide smile. "Trust me, Red, we're talking about serious explosives here… and last I heard, vampires were still flammable! And anyway, whatever happens, they're always good for creating a panic; you can pick off a coven as they're trying to get away."

Uncle Jasper and Uncle Emmett smiled appreciatively and the rest of the family nodded as he continued. I frowned and wondered if I was going to be stuck with that stupid nickname forever.

"Anyway, it was really his mate, Dominica, who wanted me turned. She hoped that I'd be useful, she couldn't have guessed that I'd be a tracker, but she liked me," he added with a knowing smile.

"Dominica…" Uncle Jasper contemplated this name. "So that would mean that you were created by Brandon?"

"No." Leo shook his head. "Brandon and I go way back, but he wasn't Dominica's mate when I was turned, they hooked up later. Her first mate, Ramon, created Hal and me. He was ok, I liked him."

Uncle Jasper frowned in concentration. "Ramon… I know of him, by reputation at least. He was dangerous; he kept us out of California."

"That's right," Leo nodded proudly, before adding. "He turned Hal and Dominica years before he met me. I was with him from 1938 until his death, after that I left the army for good and Brandon took control of his territory. I still see those guys from time to time, though."

Hal, who had been very silent until now, nodded. "Once Ramon was dead, I went my own way too. It was quite some while before Leo and I came into contact again."

Aunt Rose, who'd been listening carefully to their story, asked. "What happened to Ramon?"

"I guess it's true, 'hell hath no fury', because in the end, it was his mate who brought him down." He met Aunt Rose's eye. "Ramon created a small army of vampires, some he kept and some he disposed of… it depended. He was cautious though; he never liked to have a large pack of newborns hanging around.

"He didn't want any trouble with the Volturi, so instead he kept a small number of more experienced fighters. But, he took a real shine to this new girl and Dominica found out about it. Now to be honest, she was no angel herself, but she wasn't going to have _him_cheating.

"So she ripped his head off… and the girl's too. Of course she had help – some guy she was fooling with – but the idea came straight from her pretty little head. I can still remember the burning bodies…" He smiled sentimentally and glanced at Uncle Jasper. "Those were the days, huh?"

Aunt Alice pulled a face and Uncle Jasper looked vaguely disconcerted. "I must admit that I don't really miss them."

"I don't miss them at all," Hal broke in shyly and Leo threw him an indulgent smile.

"That's hardly a surprise, Hal. You don't even miss human blood."

There was a general gasp of surprise and Uncle Jasper exclaimed. "Are you serious?"

Hal became self-conscious and murmured. "I must admit that I don't." He looked to his brother for support and then added more firmly.

"I couldn't _stand_ the way it made me feel. My choice of lifestyle was hardly surprising really. Before turning, I'd spent all my time pleasantly immersed in my work." He smiled modestly. "Not that I would claim to have been a particularly profound scholar, but I did love to meditate on ideas, free from constraints and desires.

"So, when I was thrown into the hellish world of the un-dead, I was shocked to discover how strongly I was ruled by an insane thirst for human blood. I couldn't focus my mind at all, especially in the beginning. I thought I would go mad, I was unable to _think_. I couldn't concentrate on anything beyond the thirst." He wore a deep frown as he relived this memory.

After a moment's silence, his pallid face became more tranquil. "I don't know what would have become of me, if I hadn't realised that human blood only increased the thirst and confusion. Once I had made that connection, I began to search for an alternative," he glanced around at his audience "…as you did."

"When I first experimented with other prey, I didn't know if I would be able to survive at all. I had even less idea of how it would affect my mind. I was amazed to find that with a new diet, not only could I live, but my thoughts actually became more lucid. The most unexpected thing was that my thirst for human blood diminished, rather than increased.

"I no longer miss human blood," he said quietly. "I can disappear into my own world for days at a time. In many ways – for me – this life is preferable to a human one. Without human needs, I have far more time to study and this mind contains so much more room for reflection.

"I can read as many books as I wish and remember them all. My head contains whole libraries, word perfect. And now of course, in the age of the computer we have the Internet, a super-brain, pulsing with the cumulative knowledge of a hundred million minds. It's very interesting…" His sculpted face became contemplative as he considered this advancement, and then he added thoughtfully.

"I must admit that, for my part, the sacrifice of my diet is hardly worth mentioning at all. There is no comparison between the momentary pleasure of mauling some poor, unsuspecting human, and the joy to be found from the eternal musings of an expanded mind. In some ways I can hardly understand why vampires bother hunting humans at all. There are so many better things they could be doing."

He gave an apologetic smile as he concluded this very long speech. "I suppose, in fairness, there are also plenty of human beings who are only interested in physical self-gratification, and I was never that type of person, even when I was one of them…"

After he finished there was a moment's silence, broken by Leo, slapping him on the shoulder and smiling approvingly. "That was great, man."

My family were left dumbstruck. Hal's utter rejection of the basic vampire desires had startled them all. But I noticed the expression on Grandpa Carlisle's face. He was beaming with pleasure. Apparently Hal's philosophy held great appeal for him.

There was a short silence before Uncle Emmett turned to Leo. "So what made you give it up?"

Leo glanced at him and after a second, gave a shrug and said. "I don't know, I guess it just tied me down too much. It got boring, having to move all the time and hiding the bodies. You know how it is, no matter how deep you bury them, there's always a hand poking out when you've finished."

I grimaced at this revolting image and felt slightly shocked when several members of my family nodded, including Grandma Esme! They were obviously familiar with this grizzly experience. I shouldn't have been surprised, but they usually played down that sort of thing when I was around. I pushed this unsettling idea to the back of my mind.

"Anyway it was a hassle, so I tried something else," he concluded in a laid-back voice. "I'd already seen how Hal survived, so I knew it could be done."

The look on Uncle Jasper's face was priceless; he wore a deep frown as he considered their words. Hal and Leo's attitudes to human blood were incomprehensible to him. The way they talked about it, made it sound as if they'd given up drinking coffee.

I didn't have a chance to witness any more of this strange conversation. I was getting more and more tired, and I wanted to call Jacob before I went to bed. I stood up and smiled.

"I'm going to have to say goodnight," I looked towards our guests and they rose to their feet to shake hands with me.

"Wow, you're boiling!" Exclaimed Leo as he took my hand. I laughed and pulled my fingers away.

"It's been nice to meet you. I'm sure I'll see you again soon." I had an ominous feeling that he would probably still be in the living room, when I came back down in the morning.

As we said our final goodbyes, my mother asked me. "Are you going to call Jacob?"

"I was going to try him now."

Leo raised his eyebrows. "_Another_vampire?"

I didn't need my dad's talent to know that he was thinking, 'how big is this coven?'

I shook my head. "Jake isn't a vampire."

Aunt Rose chose this moment to chip in. "Nessie's dating a _werewolf._"

"_What!_" Both Hal and Leo looked horrified, and I threw Aunt Rose a resentful look.

"He's not a werewolf," I corrected her irritably. "He's a shapeshifter… who turns into a wolf."

"Well, he still smells like a wet dog," she said with a sniff.

"_Rose!_" Uncle Emmett threw her a reproachful glance, as I flushed red.

During this exchange, Hal looked uneasy and Leo wore a thoughtful expression. After a moment he turned to me.

"So you _don__'__t_ have a pet?"

There was no hint of malice in his voice; he seemed to be genuinely curious. I heard someone give a snort of laughter, but I ignored it.

"No," I said coldly. "I don't."

Leo realised that he's accidentally insulted me. "Hey, I'm sorry… I didn't mean to offend you. I'm sure he's really nice."

Feeling appeased by this instant apology, I answered politely. "He is. But I have to go now; he'll be waiting for me to call."

I then said goodnight to everyone and left the room. I had no doubt that my family would be telling our guests all about Jake and me as soon as my back was turned. As I went upstairs, I heard Aunt Alice saying to Aunt Rose.

"Rosalie, you shouldn't have said that."

She was right. I pulled off Jake's sweatshirt and went into Aunt Rose's room. Lifting the covers off her bed, I threw the sweatshirt onto her pillow.

I then went into my own room and sat on the bed. I suddenly realised how tense and exhausted the evening's events had made me feel. Grabbing my phone from the bedside table, I hit Jake's number and lay back on the bedspread. It only rang twice before he answered.

"How's my girl?"

I felt my whole body relax as I answered him. "I'm fine, but I really miss you."

I could hear that he was smiling, as he answered. "You know I miss you too, honey."

"Jake, can I ask you something?"

"You know you can," he said kindly.

My voice dropped to a whisper. "What are you wearing right now...?"

"Do I have to remind you, that everyone in your house has super hearing?"

I gave a joking sigh of resignation. "It was worth a try."

He laughed and changed the subject. "So, what did you do today?"

"Well, I spent most of the day studying, and this evening I played Monopoly." I then added quietly, "and I was hunted by a tracker…"

* * *

><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**So there you go, now you know a little of Hal and Leo's inner 'motivation' (as luvvies* say). The next chapter should be slightly more eventful, for those of you who have a limited tolerance for introspection ;)**

**I also want to say a great, big thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far, I'm so pleased, thank you :) And also thank you to the people who've added this story to their lists *yay***

***English theatrical types **


	7. Nessie, gossip

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks to my overworked and underpaid (by 100%) beta willowbae. She's had the flu this week and she's still managed to help me, so if that's not dedication then I don't know what is! She's the best :) <strong>

**(Of course that could also be interpreted as me being a slave-driver demanding work from an ill person, but I prefer the first explanation, since it casts me in a better light).**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 7.<strong>

**Nessie – gossip**

I awoke the next morning to the sound of Aunt Rose's voice, drifting up from the kitchen below. "I'm just saying that he's an option."

My father replied tersely. "I disagree."

I wondered what they were arguing about now.

"Oh, come on Edward," she protested. "Are you telling me that he wouldn't be more suitable than the dog?"

I sat up abruptly, bristling with annoyance. What was she saying about Jacob _this_ time? She hadn't let up this holiday. I clenched my fists and listened intently. My dad started to speak again.

"You're wasting your time even considering it, Nessie would never leave Jacob."

What were they talking about, why would I want to?

"According to you," said Aunt Rose stubbornly.

"Edward's right. Have you seen how she is with him?" Uncle Emmett broke in. "Anyway, I'd prefer her to stay with Jake."

This random comment made me raise my eyebrows. I hadn't expected support from him, he was my super chaperone.

"That's all very well Emmett, but she is half vampire. Leo is a vegetarian vampire; he'd be perfect. And I refuse to believe that he hasn't noticed how attractive she is."

_Oh!_ She was trying to match me with Leo. I shouldn't have been so surprised; he and Hal were the only single vegetarian males we'd encountered in the last seventeen years. But this didn't stop me from gritting my teeth in anger.

It seemed that half the family were party to this little conversation, because a moment later my mother spoke and she sounded upset.

"I don't know how you can even suggest it. Can you imagine what it would do to Jake…?"

"You don't need to feel anxious, love," my father said soothingly. "We both know that Jacob has nothing to worry about." His voice then became sterner. "Frankly Rosalie, I'm surprised that you're so keen to encourage a situation which would lead to nothing but bloodshed. Jacob would fight to the death with anyone who tried to take Nessie from him."

"He's right," agreed Uncle Emmett. "Jake would die before letting anyone steal her."

"You're both being melodramatic. If he loves her so much, he'd want her to be happy, even if it wasn't with him."

"That might have been true if she had chosen someone else first, but not anymore," my father argued. "As far as Jacob is concerned, Nessie belongs to him now."

Jake was right. I was his, just as he was mine. I was glad that _someone_ had the sense to see that.

My father continued firmly. "It's a moot point anyway. Leo isn't blind to Nessie's appeal, but I doubt he'll fall in love with her."

"Your crystal ball is on fine form today, Edward," said Aunt Rose in a sour voice. "How do you know?"

Uncle Emmett still seemed to be on my father's side. "Leo's not the type?" He suggested helpfully.

"I don't think we should talk about it anymore," my father answered brusquely.

"Why not?"

"Because Nessie is awake and listening to every word!"

I grinned when he said this. _Nice__work__Dad._

There was a long silence, followed by a slamming door and Uncle Emmett's voice.

"Aw, Rose…"

Later that day, the conversation was still on the newcomers. It seemed that their arrival was the most exciting thing that had happened to us in a while, and everyone had an opinion. I was in the living room with Grandpa Carlisle, Aunt Alice, Uncle Jasper and my parents. Grandma Esme was out shopping.

Grandpa Carlisle was waxing lyrical about Hal. Apparently, after I had gone to bed, they had gone into the study and talked for hours. According to Grandpa Carlisle, Hal was the most interesting person _ever_.

The reason he was staying in New Hampshire was to give a series of talks at Dartmouth University. He had been invited to be a special guest speaker by their Astrophysics Department. Grandpa Carlisle was already hoping to attend one of his lectures.

"Honestly, the depth of his knowledge is astounding," he said with a shake of his head. "It's not often that I envy you your gift Edward – to be frank, it usually seems more of a curse than a blessing – but what wouldn't I give to be able to see into that man's mind."

"I must admit, it was quite an experience," my father admitted. "His mind was simultaneously working on more different ideas than anyone that I've ever encountered. I had real trouble keeping up and there was a great deal that I had absolutely no hope of understanding." He then added thoughtfully. "I'm surprised that he hasn't been recruited by the Volturi. I'm sure they'd find his intellectual gifts useful."

"I dread to think what Aro would do with his knowledge," said Grandpa Carlisle, frowning. "Hal told me that he has made a point of avoiding any contact with the Volturi. He regards them with the deepest suspicion." He then added, with the hint of a smile. "His actual words were, 'I have no desire to assist those self-appointed tyrants with their fascistic power grab.'"

My dad gave snort of laughter and everyone else looked rather stunned.

Grandpa Carlisle just nodded. "And his resistance to human blood… well, I've never seen anything like it." Coming from him, that was really saying something.

Uncle Jasper, who was reclining on the sofa, next to Aunt Alice and my mother, suddenly commented. "Hal seems like nice guy – however strange he looks – but enjoyed talking to his brother more. He really took me back," he gave a slight smile. "I like Leo. He's got a big mouth, but I don't think he'd shy away from backing his words with actions."

"Yes, I'm sure he would make a very dangerous opponent," Grandpa Carlisle agreed. "So it's fortunate that he showed no signs of hostility. It would be madness to fight him without good reason." He then added, with a bemused shake of his head. "To be honest, he doesn't seem to be the most likely candidate for our vegetarian lifestyle. I find it very surprising."

Uncle Jasper looked thoughtful for a moment and then turned to my father, who was sitting by the window.

"There's something I've been meaning to ask you, Edward."

Aunt Alice put down her magazine and touched his arm, murmuring quietly. "I'm not sure you want to go there, Jazz."

My father glanced at him, with a cautious expression. Uncle Jasper ignored Aunt Alice's warning and continued.

"Well, I noticed that when Leo talked about giving up human blood, he was in real pain. Maybe you can explain that."

My father smiled lightly. "He probably finds it more difficult than he likes to admit."

Uncle Jasper shook his head. "No, it wasn't that. I couldn't feel frustration or thirst. He was definitely suffering though."

Aunt Alice was now watching intently and my mother turned to Uncle Jasper with interest. "Really?"

"Yes," he nodded confidently. "And that wasn't only time, it was even worse when he met Nessie. I don't know what was going on there. But something about her _really_ bothered him."

This news made me feel uncomfortable, I liked Leo and I'd thought that he felt the same way about me.

"Didn't he like me?" I asked nervously.

"Of course he liked you, sweetheart," Uncle Jasper said reassuringly. "But when you were introduced, I swear, for a second he was truly suffering. I know you felt it too, Edward." He added giving my father a penetrating look.

All eyes turned to my dad. I hadn't really been concentrating on my father up until that point, but when I glanced over to him, I was surprised to see that he was no longer seemed relaxed. His expression was pained and his mouth was draw into a tense line.

I suddenly remembered how he had looked on the previous evening. I was right; something in Leo's thoughts had upset him – and from what I could tell – pretty badly.

"Can you tell us what was wrong, Edward?" My mother asked innocently.

What happened next was something that only Aunt Alice was prepared for. My father stood up with a furious look on his face and snapped.

"No Bella, _I__can__'__t!_"

With these words, he stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him so hard that the wood was split, right down the middle. There was complete silence for a moment or two, before Aunt Alice chimed in.

"Jasper, I _told_ you," she then got up and went over to my mother. "Are you ok?"

My mom was frozen in a state of confusion and upset. I didn't feel much better; I had never seen my father lose his temper with her before. What was going on? I couldn't even remember a time when he had raised his voice to her. She must have touched a very raw nerve.

A moment later, Uncle Emmett opened the broken door. "Hey, what's up? What's wrong with Edward?"

Aunt Rose followed him into the room. "We heard him from the kitchen." She glanced at the damaged door. "Esme's not going to be happy about that."

"Edward got angry with Bella and stormed out," Aunt Alice piped up.

"Uh oh… trouble in paradise," was Uncle Emmett's tactless comment. "I guess the honeymoon's finally over, huh?

My mother looked up at him with a pained expression and Aunt Rose threw him an exasperated glance.

"Thank you, Emmett. Where would we be without your insight?"

"I don't know what I did," my mother said, almost to herself.

This was getting worse and worse. If she'd been human, I'm sure that she would have been in tears. What the hell had got into my dad? He hated to see her upset and now he was acting like a complete jerk. She hadn't done anything at all. In fact, if he was going to shout at anyone, it should have been Uncle Jasper, he was the one who'd started the conversation.

She asked anxiously. "Should I go and talk to him?"

Aunt Alice looked thoughtful for a moment, before saying cautiously. "I'm not sure that it would be a good idea."

My mother looked so unhappy that no one knew quite what to do. Fortunately, Grandpa Carlisle chose this moment to intervene.

"Perhaps if I spoke to Edward?"

Aunt Alice narrowed her eyes, and then nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, that's a much better idea. Edward will calm down far more quickly. He'll explain everything." Grandpa Carlisle quietly left the room and I saw Aunt Alice's expression change; she was very quiet until she exclaimed "…_Oh!_"

"Alice, what is it?" I could hear the tension in my mom's voice.

Aunt Alice snapped out of her vision and gave a small frown. "No wonder he was so upset." She glanced at the baffled faces and added. "Don't worry, you'll find out soon enough." She patted my mother's hand. "Don't worry Bella, he's not angry with you, he's more upset with himself."

"Why?" My mother pleaded.

"I'm keeping out of this one," Aunt Alice said emphatically. "I'll leave the explanations to Edward. He'll be back."

We all waited impatiently, as Grandpa Carlisle went to find my father.

* * *

><p><strong><span>Author's notes:<span>**

**So the plot thickens... what did Edward see? **

**You'll find out soon :) willowbae always tells me off for my cliffhangers, I try not to write too many, but somehow, they creep in anyway.**

**Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed so far, I'm really grateful and loved reading them. Please carry on reviewing, they always make my day. **

**Mad :)**


	8. Nessie, secrets

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

* * *

><p><strong>As always, a special thanks goes to willowbae for beta-ing. She's feeling better this week, so I don't need to feel so guilty about sending her new chapters (and my favourite You Tube links). <strong>

**As for Leo and his secret, it's time for Edward to spill...**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 8.<strong>

**Nessie – secrets**

Grandpa Carlisle and my father must have been some distance from the house, because I couldn't hear them speaking.

My mother didn't say a word; she just sat on the sofa, with her hands tightly clasped and an apprehensive look on her face. Uncle Emmett tried unsuccessfully to lighten the mood by reminding us that my dad was prone to temperamental behaviour, he started to grumble about some long lost flat screen television.

No one joined in with this conversation and, in the end, even he ran out of things to say. I was surprised by how long they were gone, and had almost given up hope that Grandpa Carlisle had made my dad see the error of his moody ways, when they finally returned.

As she heard their footsteps, my mother stood up swiftly, with an expectant look on her face. Everyone else turned as Grandpa Carlisle came into the room, followed by my father. Grandpa Carlisle was wearing a very serious expression and my dad was still looking troubled.

My mom gazed at him as he raised his repentant eyes to her face. "Bella…"

He didn't get any further with his apology; she had her arms around him before he could say another word.

"Edward, I've been so worried. What did I do, what did I say…?"

"I'm sorry, love," he said, holding her close. "I didn't know what to do; I shouldn't have lost my temper. Please forgive me."

He needn't have bothered with the apology; Mom was never going to hold anything against him. I wondered if he realised how lucky he was, somehow, I doubted he did. She hugged him tightly and then led him to a seat at the table. Her voice was firm as she asked.

"Edward, tell me what's wrong. What did you see?" She knew that it was doing him no good, keeping it to himself.

My father put his elbow on the table and rested his brow against his hand.

"I never expected it… I was caught completely off guard." He raised his eyes and his expression was pained. "I introduced Leo to Nessie; his mind was on her. He was very curious – it was all perfectly normal – until he discovered that she was my daughter…"

I felt myself tense up. His voice became suspended and my mother knelt down beside him, taking his hand. He looked into her eyes, before glancing at the rest of us.

"He was confused initially, but when he understood that I'd been with a human, he couldn't believe that Bella had survived the relationship. His mind went straight to the horrifying image of a girl…" he caught his breath for a moment. "I saw it so clearly. He pulled himself away from her throat. And then there was blood everywhere… in her hair… over him… everywhere…"

The family was very quiet. They didn't usually speak of human death in front of me; I doubted that they discussed it very much when I wasn't around either. It was an uncomfortable issue that no one really wanted to confront. It was Uncle Emmett who eventually gave an uneasy cough.

"I know I might be missing the point, but haven't you seen that kind of thing before, in our heads, and in your own, for that matter?"

My dad met his eyes with a harrowed expression. "You don't understand. It wasn't the gore that shocked me… it was his feelings. Imagine it was Rosalie dead in your arms. When Leo looked at this dead girl, that was how he felt."

"What?" My mother gasped. "Edward, what do you mean?"

He turned to her slowly. "I mean that she was no random victim. He was in love with this girl and he killed her…"

Uncle Emmett protested. "How do you know that he's not just an incubus?"

My father threw him a scathing look. "I saw him losing control. I felt his horror and remorse. He hardly understood how much he loved her until then… but there was no mistaking it. He was completely bound to his victim. It was an accident… it was horrendous."

The room became very still. I glanced around at the sober faces of my family. No wonder they never talked about this stuff, it was awful. My mother placed her hand on my father's shoulder and said sympathetically.

"I know that it can't always be easy to see into other people's thoughts, Edward. But what's done is done. It's a very sad thing, but there's nothing that anyone can do now. You should try not to take it so hard."

He dropped his head into his hands and said in an anguished voice. "You don't understand, Bella. I could see myself in Leo. He lived out the dark ending that could have been ours. Alice remembers her visions; I was so close to that, so many times… it could have been me… it could have been _you_."

I felt sick when I heard this. I couldn't believe that my father had really wanted to feed from my mom; he wasn't a monster. It couldn't be true; he _must_ be exaggerating. I heard my mother speaking quietly.

"But it wasn't us. Edward, you never lost control. You saved me so many times. You mustn't think that way, it isn't true."

"I wish that were so, but I know that I was walking on a knife's edge all the time you were human. Last night was a terrible reminder of that."

I turned my eyes to the tall windows; I didn't want to think about the implications of his words. No one else spoke until finally Uncle Jasper said, in a matter of fact voice.

"Well, that certainly explains the feelings that I picked up from Leo."

His words broke the awkward silence and everyone started to breathe again. My dad just nodded without looking up.

"That's why he won't feed on humans. Just talking about why he was vegetarian immediately brought her back into his mind. I would say that feeding from human blood reminds him too painfully of what he did."

"Poor guy… what a disaster," said Emmett, shaking his head, but then he added bracingly. "But he's ok now. I mean it looks like he can live with it. He seemed pretty cheerful last night."

"From what I could tell, this happened a long time ago. Leo doesn't seem to be the wallowing type. He's clearly managed to get on with his life, but this is always going to be with him. She was the one and she's gone." My father still couldn't look up, as he added. "Within seconds, he'd banished her memory. But I could feel the depth of his loss…"

My heart ached at these words; I thought of Leo and how he must have felt, and worse still, I pictured the girl. She must have trusted him and look at what he'd done to her. What a hideous end. I wondered if her suffering had been very bad and shuddered at the thought. The whole situation seemed truly appalling.

The strength of my feelings on the subject surprised me. They made me understand that, for some unfathomable reason, I had taken a genuine liking to Leo and I didn't want to imagine him doing anything so terrible.

For the rest of the day, the atmosphere in the house was very subdued. I felt really down and when Jacob called me that night, I wanted to confide in him. Unfortunately I knew that everyone would be able to hear what I was saying, so I held my tongue and just took comfort in hearing his voice.

He still noticed that I wasn't myself. "Are you ok, Nessie?"

"I'm fine. I'm just tired, that's all," I answered with a small sigh.

"You don't sound fine," he said sceptically. "Have you been watching 'The Last of the Mohicans' again?"

That movie always reduced me to a snivelling wreck. Jake was usually pretty nice about letting me weep into his t-shirt after Uncas and Alice had plunged off the cliff. I suddenly really missed him and a lump appeared in my throat.

"No. I just wish you were here."

He must have heard the wobble in my voice, because he said. "Do you want me to come back?"

I gave a small sniff. "No, it's ok."

Although he was joking, I knew that he probably _would_ fly back to New Hampshire, if I asked him to. This thought made me feel much better, so I smiled and asked.

"What would you have done if I'd said 'yes'?"

"I guess we'll never know," he replied cheerfully.

I laughed in spite of myself. "You should try not to sound so relieved."

His voice became serious. "You know I'd come, if you needed me."

"I know. Thanks, Jake." And then I thought of Leo, still longing for a girl he'd lost years ago, and added. "I'll always need you."

* * *

><p><strong><span>Author's notes:<span>**

**Is Nessie finally starting to realise what it _really_ means to be a vampire? **

**Who can say...? **

**willowbae says that she needs 'vampire family counselling' but it's probably quite a specialised field of practice, so I don't know how many qualified therapists are actually out there.**

**I just want to say a special thanks to everyone who has reviewed this story. I love you guys! Your reviews mean a lot, and I _love_ reading them. I usually try to reply to them, so a special hello to Lei, because I can't PM you to say thanks for that really nice message :)**

**Please keep reviewing :)**

**Have a great week, I'll update soon, **

**Mad :)**


	9. Nessie, another option

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

* * *

><p><strong>As always a big thanks to willowbae for her help and corrections (any mistakes left in the text are, of course, completely deliberate!) <strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 9.<strong>

**Nessie – another option**

The day after my father's unsettling revelation, Leo and Hal made another visit. Hal and Grandpa Carlisle immediately disappeared into the study. Mom, Dad, Grandma Esme and Aunt Alice were out hunting when the brothers arrived, but the rest of the family gathered in the light and airy living room, to converse with Leo.

Having just learned of his dark past, I felt slightly awkward at first. I didn't quite know where to look. But then I realised that the rest of the family were acting as if everything was ok. Added to which, Leo was completely relaxed and cheerful, so I began to feel more comfortable. It was totally surreal; there was a killer in the room and we were all pretending that nothing was wrong.

That was when it occurred to me that Leo wasn't the only killer in the room. I had been brought up in a household of people who had committed numerous murders. Apart from me, only my mother and Grandpa Carlisle had a clean record.

Admittedly none of them had slipped in years, but there were still plenty of skeletons in my family's closet. Pretending that everything was normal was a Cullen speciality. These thoughts disturbed me so much that I instantly pushed them to the back of my mind.

My family was fine. Everything was fine.

Leo sat on the couch, beside an immaculately dressed Aunt Rose. They were joking about the worst pick-up lines that they had ever heard. Aunt Rose was behaving in an uncharacteristically friendly way towards Leo. I was used to seeing her treat outsiders with cool hostility, so this surprised me.

But then I realised that it must have been a long time since she had come across an admiring, unattached male of his calibre and she was enjoying the attention. He had an easy manner and seemed perfectly happy to oblige her with some light-hearted flirting.

Uncle Emmett sat on a chair near Aunt Rose, and watched them with a suspicious expression. Leo wasn't a fool though; he never became overfamiliar with Aunt Rose, or treated either her or Uncle Emmett with disrespect. He just carried on as if everything was fine.

"In the thirties, it was still considered pretty slick to say, 'hey _doll_, I could go for you in a big way!'" He laughed.

Aunt Rose giggled. "Do you know how many times I've heard that stupid line?"

He smiled innocently. "Quite a few, I'd imagine."

She gave a very smug smile and Uncle Emmett scowled. I had to hold back a laugh, it was so refreshing to see him chaperoning someone else for a change. I watched as his eyes narrowed in thought, and could almost see the light bulb appearing over his head, as he was struck by an idea. He turned swiftly to Leo and asked.

"Do you like wrestling?"

There was an unmistakeable challenge in his voice, but Leo's face lit up at this suggestion.

"Sure, when I get the chance," he replied eagerly, and then added with a rueful grin. "Which is usually _never_."

This didn't surprise me; I couldn't imagine Hal being the wrestling type.

"So, how about it?" Uncle Emmett smiled and flexed his muscles.

Leo stood up immediately, with a martial light in his eyes. "Great." You just couldn't fake this level of enthusiasm.

Uncle Jasper, who had been watching them, smirked and stood up too. "This should be interesting."

So Uncle Emmett, Leo, Uncle Jasper, Aunt Rose and I all trooped outside. One of the things that I loved best about this house was its beautiful old garden. I knew that it had been the principal reason why Grandma Esme had chosen the property.

It was huge and very private, with a vast lawn and a great deal of shrubbery. Some magnificent oak trees dotted the grass and at the far end was a Chestnut grove, which was well out of sight, and earshot, of the neighbouring houses. This was the unofficial sports area for the family and Uncle Emmett led us to the clearing in the middle of it.

There was a buzz of anticipation in the air; this was first real entertainment that we'd had in days. Uncle Emmett and Leo pulled off their shirts and tossed them to one side, before facing one another. Uncle Jasper was referee and gave them each an appraising glance, before reminding them.

"If either of you bring down a tree, you forfeit the match." He then gave the nod to start.

They circled each other slowly, without breaking eye contact. I held my breath as I watched them; two powerfully built guys, one dark, one fair, and both competitive. I could feel that this was going to be rough. I could already tell by Uncle Emmett's focused expression that he wasn't going to lose this match without putting up a real fight.

As for Leo, he appeared to be more relaxed, as a slight smile played on his lips. But I wasn't fooled into thinking that he didn't take it seriously. When they did finally close in, it was so fast that I hardly had a chance to register. I just heard the snarls as they launched at each other.

I wasn't exactly well versed in the rules of wrestling. But even I could tell, from their ferocious movements, that they were more than a match for one another. Leo was fast, faster than Uncle Emmett, but Uncle Emmett was more heavily built and he used his extra strength to his advantage. After a couple of minutes, Uncle Jasper declared Leo the winner on points.

Uncle Emmett didn't look too pleased by this result, but instead of grumbling about it, he sprung up, ready to start again. Leo grinned and prepared himself for another onslaught. There was _no__way_ that Uncle Emmett was going to allow himself to be beaten this time, especially since he had suggested the idea and Aunt Rose was watching.

He looked pretty pleased as he walked away, few minutes later, the winner of the second bout. Leo didn't seem remotely demoralised; he just laughed and stretched his muscular shoulders. "Holy crap, Emmett, you're strong!" He then glanced at Aunt Rose. "I don't know how you handle him, Rosalie."

"Oh, I manage," she replied, with a wry smile.

Uncle Emmett threw her a grin. "You said it, baby."

The two men then turned to face each other, yet again.

After a number of matches, it became obvious that there was going to be no clear victor. They were too evenly matched, Uncle Emmett was bigger, but Leo was faster. They showed no sign of wanting to call it quits; unfortunately they still seemed to be enjoying themselves. I could tell that it was only a matter of time before Uncle Jasper decided to join in too.

I, on the other hand, was starting to feel bored. Realising that they could keep this up for hours, I turned to Aunt Rose and said.

"I think I'll head back inside. Are you coming?"

She glanced at the men and nodded willingly. "Good idea." We made a discreet exit and the guys didn't even notice. They were too wrapped up in their competition.

Having spent half an hour standing in the cold, dreary garden, the house felt particularly pleasant when we got inside. We strolled into the warm kitchen and I fixed myself a snack.

"You eat more human food than you used to," was Aunt Rose's sudden observation.

"Yeah, I picked up a taste for it when I was living with Grandpa." I pulled some juice out of the refrigerator and added with a smile. "And you know how Jake is _always_ eating."

She nodded, before eyeing me thoughtfully. "You're still a vampire, you know."

I felt myself tensing up. "I'm no more vampire, than I am human."

She didn't miss the note of resentment in my voice, but she sounded very calm as she met my gaze. "You're an immortal, Nessie. You're more vampire than you realise."

I put my plate on the kitchen counter, before sitting down and taking a very pointed bite out of my sandwich. I took my time swallowing and then asked.

"Why are you bringing this up now?" Like I didn't already know.

She wasn't going to play dumb; she raised her beautifully arched brows and said. "I know that you heard our conversation yesterday."

"What of it?" I answered rudely.

"You think that you're in love with Jacob Black." She frowned. I knew that she didn't really approve, but this was the first time that she had tried to speak to me seriously, about my relationship with Jake.

"I _am_in love with Jacob," I corrected her with a snap and then added in a sullen voice. "Mom and Dad have accepted it, what's _your_ problem?"

She grimaced. "Bella has always been very attached to Jacob and your father is unwilling to upset her." She slipped into the chair opposite me and gracefully rested her arms on the marble counter. "I'm not trying to hurt you Nessie," she sighed. "I'm trying to help you."

I kept my eyes on my plate and took another bite from my sandwich. Once she had realised that I wasn't going to say anything, she continued. Her tone was serious, rather than unkind.

"However you both feel about being together, Jake is never going to be one of us and you will never be part of the tribe, Nessie. There's nothing that anyone can do to change that."

"I don't care," I said belligerently, refusing to look at her.

"You might care one day; you have a long life ahead of you."

I finally raised my eyes and threw her a defiant look. "I know who I want to spend that life with."

She shook her golden head. "You think that I'm saying this because I don't like Jacob." My eyes narrowed and she continued. "I'm not going to pretend that I've been hiding a deep affection for him all these years, but honestly, this time it isn't personal. Jake can't help what he is, any more than you can."

I could not keep the bitterness out of my voice as I answered. "So what do _you_ suggest?"

"I know that you don't have a lot of realistic options Nessie, but Leo actually is one." She held my gaze. "He's like us, if you were with him, you wouldn't have to conceal half of your nature. Don't discard the idea without even considering it. He could be part of our family in a way that Jake never could, in a way that Jake wouldn't even _want_ to be."

She reached over the counter and put her cold hand on my arm. "_Please_, Nessie." Her voice sounded surprisingly emotional. "Please, think about what you're doing. I don't want you to spend the rest of your life as an outsider. With Jacob, you always will be."

"I _am_ an outsider…" I said quietly. "Except when I'm with him."

"That's not true, you belong with us. We love you too…" Her amber eyes were pleading.

I didn't know what to say. I knew that she loved me and in spite of the recent tension between us, she was still my favourite aunt. But I couldn't explain to her how much I needed Jacob; she would never understand that I couldn't be whole without him. So I stuck to a more concrete argument.

"And what about Leo, does he have any say in this?" I raised my eyebrows questioningly. "Dad said that he was in love with someone else."

My new line of defence initially took Aunt Rose aback, but she quickly countered. "She's dead. He can't bring her back; he'll move on one day."

"The way that you would, if you lost Uncle Emmett?" I asked in a cool voice.

I saw Aunt Rose flinch, but she still replied. "That's different. She was a human… I'm sure he'd forget her, if he found the right person."

Her callous disregard for that poor girl was the final straw. I didn't try to hide my anger as I stood up.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, but that person is _never_ going to be me," I said, before taking myself – and my sandwich – into the dining room.

Although things were still a little frosty between us, my argument with Aunt Rose had officially been swept under the carpet by the time the guys returned to the house. I could hear them laughing as they came in through the back door, and hurried to meet them.

"Did you have fun?" I asked, taking note of the large amounts of dirt that they were trailing across the floor. All three of them were looking extremely muddy and dishevelled.

"Sure," beamed Uncle Emmett.

Leo nodded cheerfully. "It was great, these guys are awesome."

Aunt Rose appeared behind me and Uncle Emmett gave her an expectant smile. He clearly wanted admiration for his amazing display of manliness. Unfortunately, she missed the point and reacted with all the appreciation of someone whose cat has just brought them a dead rat as a gift.

"_Emmett!_ Look at the floor!"

"Huh?" His face fell and he turned to inspect the mess. "Oh… sorry."

"And don't touch me," she shrieked as he approached her. "This is _Armani!_"

"Don't be too hard on him Rosalie," broke in Leo, good-naturedly. "This guy just spent the last two hours kicking my ass!"

Uncle Emmett looked pretty pleased with himself, and even Aunt Rose seemed a little more impressed. I had to hand it to Leo; he certainly knew how to handle people.

We saw plenty more of him, and his brother, that week. Carlisle invited Hal over almost every day and Emmett insisted that Leo come too, for a series of wrestling re-matches. The floor had never been such a mess. Grandma Esme was very tolerant.

"Carlisle is so happy with Hal," she said, as she pulled out the mop for what seemed like the hundredth time. "It's worth all the mud."

While the rest of the family enjoyed the diversion that the brothers provided, I noticed that my father avoided spending much time with them. He wasn't conspicuous about it, but he did seem to go out hunting more than usual. I assumed that he didn't want to see any more images of the dead girl. I don't believe he would have anyway, I never again noticed Leo behaving the way he had on that first evening.

My week passed very quickly, probably because it had been far more interesting than I'd expected. I planned to spend my last day in New Hampshire hunting in the forest, so I was slightly disconcerted when Hal invited the whole family to attend one of his lectures instead.

Grandpa Carlisle smiled gratefully. "That would be wonderful."

Hal looked so delighted that I knew it would be impossible to refuse without hurting his feelings. Fortunately, my dad heard my thoughts and got me off the hook.

He turned to Hal and said politely. "I had promised Nessie that she could go out to the forest, it will be her last chance to hunt before returning to college," – this wasn't entirely true, as I was also planning to hunt in Forks, but I was happy to go with it – "She never eats properly when she's away."

Hal nodded earnestly and looked at me. "Yes of course. You must keep up your strength."

I noticed Leo smirking; he wasn't fooled by this feeble excuse. He turned to me and said. "If you want some company, I'll come with you."

"Sure, that would be nice," I agreed enthusiastically. Hunting was invariably more fun with a companion.

"Great," he nodded, before throwing his brother a wide smile. "Just make sure you keep your lecture notes, Hal, so you can read them to me later."

Grandpa Carlisle looked slightly shocked by Leo's irreverent attitude, but Hal smiled amiably. "Leo has heard one too many of my lectures, I'm afraid."

"Are you kidding, I can never hear enough about string cosmology and astroparticle physics," he smiled. "But I'm such a gentleman; I don't want Red to go into the woods alone."

I noticed Uncle Emmett looking uneasy, as he fully registered the subject of Hal's lecture. He opened his mouth, as if he was going to suggest coming with Leo and me. Unfortunately, before he could say anything, Grandpa Carlisle unintentionally thwarted him.

"Let's not worry about Nessie and Leo; the rest of us would absolutely _love_to come."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Did I just hear Carlisle right? Let's not worry about Nessie and that womanising killing machine...! **

**Has he lost his mind? Hmmm... what _is_ going to happen when Nessie and Leo go into the woods..._ ALONE!_**

**Anyway, I just want to say a really massive thank you for the reviews (and list additions). They are great and I absolutely love reading them, so please keep it up. Have a great week, everyone.**

**And to my English readers, I hope you're having a great Bonfire night, enjoy your effigy burning and sparklers *yay*. Though fireworks are always slightly more exciting when you set them off right in the middle of a city (like - for instance - London), from the roof of your building, and they accidentally bounce off a neighbouring office block and explode about a foot away from the window of a black cab in the street below... not that I'm speaking from personal experience or anything ;)**

**Mad :)**


	10. Nessie, advice

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

* * *

><p><strong>A big thank you (and good wishes on her 'Birthday Week') to my beta willowbae, for all her invaluable help and support with this story. :)<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 10.<strong>

**Nessie – advice**

Leo was at the house early the next morning; he had no trouble with oversleeping. I wish I could have said the same thing for myself. After another late conversation with Jake, I missed my alarm and was only half dressed when he arrived.

"I'll just be a minute," I shouted down the stairs.

"It's ok, Red. Take your time," he called back. "I can talk to Rosalie… and Emmett."

I had to smile; Uncle Emmett wasn't going to leave Aunt Rose alone with this guy for one second. Still, they all seemed to be getting on very well when I hurried into the kitchen, ten minutes later. There was no doubt that Leo had a great deal of charm, Uncle Emmett genuinely seemed to like him – in spite of the fact that Aunt Rose did too.

Leo glanced towards me and said jokingly. "Are you ready to go 'a huntin'?"

"Sure." I smiled back and then added with a perfectly straight face. "I just need to fetch my rifle."

He looked startled. "Oh, ok… I didn't realise that you hunted like a regular human."

"Of course I do," I said in an affronted voice. "Just don't distract me when I'm taking aim. I'm a little rusty." I smiled reassuringly at him. "You have nothing to worry about though, bullets can't hurt _you_."

I could tell, by his horrified expression, that he was picturing the kind of day he was going to have.

"Good one, Nessie." Uncle Emmett chuckled as Aunt Rose stifled a laugh.

"You had me going there." Leo shook his head with a smile. "I take it you hunt like us?"

"What do you think?" I flashed him a wide grin, showing off my teeth.

"Point taken." He stood up and took his leave of the others. "See you later, guys."

Aunt Rose threw me a knowing look as I passed her. "Have _fun_, Nessie."

I scowled and hoped that Leo hadn't noticed what my matchmaking aunt was trying to do.

Our destination was the nearby White Mountain National Forest; it was the best place to hunt in the state and had a good variety of game. Black bears, moose and white tailed deer could all be found there. Sometimes the family would camp out for several days, but Leo and I were just taking a short day trip. I was driving, and on the way we chatted amicably.

"Have you hunted here before?"

"Yeah, but not for a while." He nodded. "It was pretty good last time. That's why I came on this trip with Hal, so I could come back to the forest." He then added, with a smile. "But so far, I've spent most of my time wrestling Emmett in your garden."

I laughed. "Your mistake was to agree to it the first time. Uncle Emmett was never going to let you back out after that!" I then glanced out of the window at the passing scenery. "The rest of my family lives off this forest."

"How about you?" He raised his eyebrows, quizzically.

"It's not such a problem for me, you know I can eat human food too," I reminded him.

"Yeah…" He shuddered at the thought, but then betrayed a practical streak when he added. "I guess it's useful that you can."

For the rest of the drive, he plied me with questions about myself and my physiology. What I could and couldn't do, how strong I was, did I have any additional talents, how far I could smell, did I need air, how my accelerated aging worked, could I die, the list went on.

My instincts told me that I could trust him, so I was honest with my answers. The only thing I decided not to mention was my talent; I had been brought up with the idea that you should keep some of your cards up your sleeve.

He told me about himself too; his time with Hal, his early years as a vampire, even a little bit about his human past. He'd been in the navy when he was changed; which explained his crew cut. He told me how he had woken as a vampire, and the first thing he'd registered was that all the tattoos had gone from his arms.

I'd noticed that they had been replaced by dozens of bite-marks, presumably from his time in the army. He wasn't as badly scarred as Uncle Jasper, but he must have been in some fairly serious confrontations. He even had a faint scar running around his wrist; he must have had to reattach his hand at some point.

"I couldn't believe it; I'd been collecting those tattoos since I was sixteen." He gave a short laugh. "I guess the venom burned them away. I missed my Jean Harlow the most."

"You must be joking! Next you'll be saying you had an _anchor_ too."

"You got me."

"No...?" I gasped.

"What did you expect? I was in the navy," he replied with a smirk.

I glanced up at his fair hair. "You've kept the haircut though!"

"Tell me about it." He ran his long fingers over his head. "It was ok in the fifties; everyone thought that I was a fine, upstanding citizen. But it was a real pain in the sixties; I kept being mistaken for a cop!" Something about this memory seemed to make him smile, and he added. "It's ironic really, since at that time I made a point of feeding on them. Call it my contribution to the Peace Movement."

I stared at him in shocked disbelief; partly because my Grandpa was a cop, but mainly because of his alleged motives. "Are you seriously trying to tell me that _you_ – a vampire – were actually interested in a moral cause like the Anti-War Movement?"

"What can I say, Red, I've got depth." He looked so cocky, as he made this ridiculous statement, that I found myself laughing, in spite of my misgivings.

I found him surprisingly easy to talk to; maybe it was because he was a vampire and I didn't need to put up any façade. But it might have just been because he had a really chilled personality. Whatever it was, by the time we arrived at the forest we were getting on very well.

It was a bright, sunny day and perfect for hunting. There had been a hard frost the previous night and the ground was very firm, which made the running easy. I had never been hunting with a tracker before, and I was curious to see what it would be like.

Leo picked up the scent of deer with remarkable speed. He told me that his sense of smell was very good, even by vampire standards. Apparently this was pretty normal for any tracker. We took up the trail, winding our way through the wintery trees at a fast pace.

I was interested to observe how Leo behaved on the hunt. I knew that he was competitive – after all, I had seen him wrestling with Uncle Emmett all week – so I wouldn't have been amazed if he'd taken this opportunity to show off. But he surprised me by keeping the mood relaxed, and letting me set the pace.

He didn't seem to want to overstretch me. He just ran close by, passing the occasional comment. This wasn't what I'd expected, but I was pleased and began to enjoy myself. We caught up with the deer about fifteen miles from our starting point. Again, Leo surprised me. He was prepared to work as a team, instead of immediately going for the solitary kill.

He circled round to my right, just as we ran down the herd, and gave me a smile. "Are you ready?"

I nodded and he turned his eyes to a young buck, which was desperately trying to outrun us. Leo's brow lowered in concentration and he picked up the speed. I suddenly realised how much he must have been holding back, as he swiftly drew alongside the deer.

He glanced around at me and winked. "Catch!"

With a casual sweep of his arm, he knocked the buck straight into my waiting arms. I had no trouble bringing it down. I was distracted by my kill for a minute or two, but when I raised my head, I saw that Leo had caught a stag not far ahead of me.

As soon as I had drained my deer, I dragged its carcass over to where Leo was still feeding. He finished just as I reached him.

"Thanks for that," I said, dropping the dead buck at his feet.

"You're welcome." He gave me a smile and nodded his head towards the body. "Do you want me to bury it for you?"

"I thought you'd never ask," I beamed, feeling very pleased that he had got my less-than-subtle hint. "I _hate_ the burying part."

He laughed and picked up the carcass. "Has anyone ever told you that you're spoiled?"

"It's not my fault," I protested cheerfully. "I'm an only child."

He disposed of the two bodies and when he was finished we fell into a slow jog and continued through the forest. I was silent, just enjoying the run, but after a few minutes, Leo started to question me, as he had done in the car.

"So, about this wolf guy you're seeing..?"

"Yes..?" I gave him a sideways glance, wondering where he was going with this. He'd already been told a fair amount concerning Jake by the rest of my blab-mouthed family.

"How much of a monster is he?"

"He's not really a monster. To be honest, he's more like a normal human than I am," I replied, and then added ruefully, "… most of the time."

"But he's a natural enemy, right?"

"Not to me," I said defensively, but he wasn't put off.

"Ok, if you say so. But it's still pretty freaky."

"No it isn't," I exclaimed, halting abruptly.

Leo stopped in front of me. "Oh, come on," he protested with a grin. "I'm not judging you – each to their own and everything – but by all accounts, you _are_ dating a giant dog!"

"Just shut up!" I snapped rudely, clenching my fists. "You don't know anything about him. And anyway, he's not a dog… he's a wolf!"

Instead of being offended by my outburst, Leo just laughed. "Hey, relax! I'm sure he's a great guy… I mean _wolf_."

I turned away in disgust. I wasn't going to bandy words with this idiot! "I don't want to talk about it with you."

"Ok… ok, I get it." He said, hurrying after me. "I apologise. I didn't mean to upset you." I slowed down and looked him in the eye. He seemed sincere… though still annoying. He narrowed his eyes and said in a more serious tone. "You really like this guy?"

"Yes."

"And you think he's the right person for you, even if he is a part-time wolf?"

"I know he is." I wasn't going to explain the concept of imprinting to Leo, but I spoke with complete certainty and I don't think this was lost on him.

"Well then, you're lucky. And maybe the whole half-monster thing will work out for you."

I found myself giving him a small smile. "Well, it _is_something we have in common."

The tense atmosphere disappeared and we started strolling through the trees. It was still sunny and neither of us seemed to be in hurry. Leo wanted to know more about Jake and me.

"So how does your family feel about him? I kind of picked up a vibe from your aunt."

"Well, my mom loves Jake, and most of my family like him, so they're fine with it. The truth is, we only know of one other vampire hybrid male, so I have limited choice if I want to be with someone just like me. And since he and I didn't get on very well the last time we met, he's not really an option."

I had been about five years old when Nahuel last came to visit, and was going through an awkward teenage phase. I had hidden behind Jake and – unusually for me – refused to speak at all. Nahuel had left in a fit of despondency and we hadn't communicated since.

I didn't feel that I had to be with a hybrid, so I shrugged and continued talking about my relationship with Jacob, which I found a far more interesting topic. "My Aunt Rose isn't so happy about it and my Uncle Emmett likes Jake, but…"

I trailed off without finishing the thought. Leo raised an eyebrow. "But… what?"

Looking up at him, I didn't know what to say. I didn't have anyone else to speak to about this issue; I was surrounded by either family members or humans. But there was a part of me that really needed to unburden myself. And this guy seemed like he'd been around; he wasn't going to be shocked. After a moment's hesitation, I decided to take a chance.

"I'll tell you," I said nervously. "But please don't laugh."

He gave me a long stare. "Ok, I'll _try_ not to. But I reserve the right to laugh if it's really stupid."

That was good enough for me.

"Well the thing is my Uncle Emmett won't leave us alone for one second. He's like this super chaperone."

My instincts were right; Leo wasn't remotely shocked, he just looked at me in disbelief and shrugged.

"So what? You live on the other side of the country don't you? I know it probably gets on your nerves, but you only have to play along when he's there."

If only that was true.

It wasn't up to me to tell him about my father's mind reading, but I could say. "It's not as simple as that. And it's not just Uncle Emmett. When I'm near Jake, I'm always staying with my Grandpa, but most importantly, my dad is _really_ old fashioned…"

Leo nodded sagely. "I can see that about him."

I was glad he understood. "And Jake has too much respect for him to… to…" I found myself blushing. "And anyway, my dad would definitely find out if we did do anything. So basically it's like having a chaperone all the time."

I appreciated the matter-of-fact way that Leo spoke to me. He didn't treat me like a child and he didn't seem to find this conversation awkward, instead he took the practical approach.

"Let's get this straight. You haven't actually 'done the deed' with this guy?"

"No, I haven't."

"But you want to...?"

Averting my eyes, I nodded bashfully and Leo laughed. "Ok." He then added. "Don't be offended, but do you think he wants to?"

"Of course he does." I felt slightly affronted. Was he suggesting that Jake wasn't attracted to me?

"Sorry. I just wondered if wolf guys are different, he might not be interested."

"No, it isn't that." I said indignantly. I tried to believe that Leo wasn't deliberately trying to offend me, and I attempted to explain the situation as calmly as I could. "Jake's not really bothered by the moral implications…"

Leo interrupted me with a snort. "Not many guys are!"

Giving him an exasperated look, I continued with what I'd been trying to say. "But he's not going to cause any trouble with my father, either."

Leo gave a thoughtful frown. "So with a dad like yours, you'd need to marry the guy first?"

"I suppose so."

"That's quite a commitment." He threw me a sceptical glance. "You're still pretty young. Maybe you don't want to?"

"I do want to… someday."

"And your boyfriend?" He asked cautiously, clearly worried that he was walking into an emotional minefield.

"Jake wants to marry me, but not until I'm at least eighteen. I'm only seventeen and he thinks I should be a legal adult before getting married."

Jake had chosen to ignore the fact that I'd been driving since I was six and had a fine collection of forged documents. According to him that '_wasn__'__t__the__same_.' I guessed the real reason was that he thought I was too young to get married. Jacob would be happy to stall me until I was well out of college.

"Ok, I see…" Leo considered my words, as we made our way over the frosty ground. He was quiet for a minute, until he said. "It seems to me that you're caught between two sets of ethics, your dad's and your boyfriend's. The question is what are you going to do about it?"

"What _can_ I do?" There was a touch of despair in my tone. It wasn't as if I hadn't been trying to find an answer, and I didn't want to stress Jake by going on about it. He was in a difficult enough position already.

Leo stopped and gave me a level gaze. "Are you kidding?"

I met his look squarely. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," he said emphatically. "That if a girl like _you_ can't get exactly what she wants from her boyfriend, then it leaves very little hope for the rest of womankind."

He sighed and – catching sight of my blank expression – tried to spell it out.

"This guy is not going to hold out forever… trust me! All you need to do is get him far away from your family – or anyone else who might get in the way – and work your magic."

I looked thoughtful. "How do I do that?"

"For God's sake, do I need to escort you to a travel agent?" He snapped in exasperation. "I'd have thought you could figure out that much by yourself."

"Oh..!" The penny finally dropped.

Seeing the look of comprehension on my face, Leo shook his head incredulously. "No wonder you're in this mess. You seem to be lacking in imagination, or cunning, I'm not sure which."

I couldn't explain that both were difficult to exercise with a father like mine in the offing. So I just stuck to the point.

"I should take Jake away on vacation?"

"Yes."

"Ok." I nodded gratefully. "Thanks."

"Anytime." He smiled, and then added as an afterthought. "Just don't get knocked up."

I felt slightly embarrassed by this remark, but I had to acknowledge that he had a good point, so I said stiffly. "Don't worry, I have _heard_ of safe sex and I'm perfectly capable of acquiring some form of birth control."

I wasn't a complete idiot… unlike my parents.

Added to which, the stressful day when my college roommate, Kristy, had mistakenly believed herself to be pregnant, was still fresh in my mind. I wasn't going to be taking any chances on _that_ score!

When dropping Leo at Dartmouth that evening, I was truly sorry to see him go. There was something about him; I had found him a surprising breath of fresh air, and his guidance on how to seduce my boyfriend was also extremely interesting. I stored up his advice, to be considered more carefully when my father wasn't around.

I was flying west the next morning and knew I wouldn't be seeing Leo again before I left.

"I've had a really nice day. Maybe we'll do it again sometime," I said, giving him a hug.

"Definitely." He smiled and squeezed me back. "I had a great time too. Next time I'm in Washington, I'll look you up."

"I'll hold you to that." I said, releasing him.

He looked down at me, and his expression became unexpectedly serious. "Take care of yourself, kid."

I met his solemn gaze with a smile. "You too."

This made him grin. "Don't worry about me. I _always_ look after myself."

Somehow, I had no trouble believing him.

When I arrived home, the family had already returned from the lecture. They were all in the living room when I walked in. My mom smiled when she saw me.

"How was the hunt?"

"It was fun."

Aunt Rose attempted to look indifferent as she asked. "How did you get on with Leo?"

I saw my dad roll is eyes and I just nodded. "He's nice. I really like him."

"What did you talk about?" She couldn't quite keep the enthusiasm out of her voice.

This time I avoided my father's eye.

"Oh, just this and that..." I kept my answer vague, and changed the subject before my thoughts could betray me. "How was the lecture?"

I caught sight of Uncle Emmett's glazed expression, as Grandpa Carlisle said in a reverent tone.

"It was absolutely _fascinating._"

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><p><strong><span>Author's notes:<span>**

**Ok, be honest, of all the things that you thought he might be (seducer... attacker... degenerate...) did _anyone_ think that Leo would turn out to be an agony aunt? Having said that, I bet Edward would have stopped Nessie going hunting with him, if he'd known what they were going to talk about. Heh heh ;)**

**Next chapter Nessie and Jake are _finally_ reunited as she heads west *yay* :)**

**And a huge thank you for the lovely reviews. They've been really great to read, so a massive thanks to my amazing reviewers :) Also a big thank you to anyone who has added this story to their lists :)**

**Have a really good week, Mad :)**


	11. Nessie, coming home

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

* * *

><p><strong>A huge thanks to willowbae for being a lovely beta, and for being prepared to exchange numerous Breaking Dawn movie review links. Those stinging reviews have had me in stitches, and I get the strong impression that the reviews are significantly more entertaining than the movie (I haven't seen it quite yet, though my morbidly curious side still - sort of - wants to go). I think some of my favourite comments so far are:<strong>

**_They're also not particularly easy to take seriously thanks to the wolves speaking with bizarre half-human, half-canine voices that put me in mind of Scooby Doo._ **

**and:**

**_Mr Lautner has plenty of reasons to strip angry: he can turn into a wolf, for starters, and Jacob's musculature has long been one of the most special of the movies' effects._**

**and finally:**

**_It should be noted that Jacob removes his shirt inexplicably only once, right in the beginning, and it's brief. After that he's forced to rely strictly on his pure instincts as a thespian._**

**Anyway, enough of these digressions, time to get on with the story... **

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><p><strong>Chapter 11.<strong>

**Nessie – coming home**

I was so excited at the thought of seeing Jacob again, that I couldn't keep still. The old lady, sitting next to me on the plane, was starting to look a little irritated. I'd been in tears when my parents said goodbye at the airport, but now I was nearly home, I could only feel happy; I was going to see Jake.

I was used to the fact that when Jacob and I were apart, there would be a small, but constant, ache in my heart. It was just a part of imprinting which I had grown accustomed to. There were some imprinted couples on the reservation that really were unable to go for a day without seeing one another, and if they tried to, they would suffer acutely.

But Jake and I had had years to acclimatise ourselves to the separation. I knew how much he missed me when we were apart – because I felt it too – but we were both capable of getting on with our daily lives, without falling into a state of despair. But I had to admit that my heart always breathed a sigh of relief when we came together again, I just couldn't feel complete without him.

My week without him in New Hampshire had been tough, because the distance between us was so great. But it could have been worse. The days had passed much quicker than I was expecting, mainly due to our entertaining visitors. I was looking forward to telling Jake a little more about them, and hearing what he had been doing in my absence. And – thanks to Leo – I also had my new plan to put into action.

We landed at Sea Tac in the afternoon, after what seemed like an eternity in the air. Then there was the interminable messing around, getting off the plane and collecting my luggage.

I found myself hopping from foot to foot, waiting for my bag. It was agonising to be so close to Jake and not be able to see him. For one crazy moment I considered just dumping the stupid thing and picking it up from unclaimed property later. But, hooray, it finally crawled along the conveyor belt – I could have sworn it was the very last one out – and I was free to go. I grabbed the bag and hurried to the exit.

Passing through the gates, my heart leapt as I caught sight of Jacob, towering over everyone else. His face brightened as soon as he saw me, and he moved forward quickly. Sprinting across the airport lounge, I reached him first and flung myself into his open arms.

He squeezed me tightly. "I missed you so…" But he was unable to finish the sentence because my mouth was in the way. Fortunately, he didn't seem to mind, he just lifted me to his level and kissed me back. As I breathed in his scent, the ache in my heart disappeared and I wondered how on earth I had survived so long without him.

A minute or two later, Jake set me back on my feet and took my bag. He threw it over his shoulder and caught hold of my hand. With a warm smile, he slipped his tanned fingers between mine and led me to the exit. As we left the terminal, he reminded me that I should be wearing one of Aunt Alice's presents.

"Why aren't you in a cocktail dress? I was looking forward to it," he joked.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but I didn't want you to get overexcited and have a heart attack; after all, you are _old_," I said innocently, hoping to get a rise out of him.

It worked.

"Being in my thirties isn't old," he protested.

"Compared to me it is," I replied with a smug smile.

Jacob looked slightly irritated. "Actually, I'm in my prime."

"That's what _old_ men always say," I helpfully pointed out.

He was looking decidedly disgruntled as we crossed the parking lot, and I had to supress a smile. I never knew why it was so much more fun to tease Jacob than anyone else; I found it irresistible. It was only when we got into his car that I slid my arms around his neck and whispered.

"I was only kidding."

Jake's eyes held a very fond expression as he wrapped me in a snug hold. "I'm really glad you're home, honey."

Placing a soft kiss onto his waiting lips, I sent him a little message. _Me__too._

"Even if you are making my nose burn." He pulled a face.

This was my punishment for calling him _old_. I just laughed and pulled away, shaking my head, as he started the car.

"You know, you're as bad as Aunt Rose."

"Well, she only had to put up with _one_ wolf this vacation, but I have to sit in a car with someone who smells like they fell into a barrel of vampires."

Unlike him, I refused to take the bait and answered in a matter-of-fact voice.

"I suppose it is worse than usual, ten instead of eight. Don't worry, I'll shower and change when I get to Grandpa's."

We turned onto the main road and Jake caught hold of the sleeve of my travelling jacket and sniffed the cuff.

"Did you wear this yesterday?"

He must have noticed the unfamiliar scent. I'd already told him on the phone that I'd been hunting with Leo, though I had kept the details of the conversation to myself.

"Yeah, do you like it?"

"It looks good on you. It smells of one of the new guys."

"Leo." I reminded him of the name, and showed him a memory of my new friend.

"Sure, sure." Jake breezed over these details. "So, you liked them then?"

Jake had reacted rather badly to the news that I had been tracked. It was my fault; I should have broken it to him more gently. At least he had calmed down once I explained the situation. In our following conversations I had made a number of references to the brothers, but I hadn't told him a huge amount about them. Jacob wasn't overly into vampires, and I didn't want to bore him with lengthy stories of my time spent in their company.

"Yeah, I really liked them." I nodded enthusiastically. "I can't believe that the family had never encountered them before, I mean, considering that they're vegetarians."

"I wish all vampires were," was Jake's cryptic reply. He then smiled at me and asked. "So did they tell you why they stopped hunting humans?"

Thinking of Hal's explanation made me smile. "Hal stopped feeding on human blood because he found it _distracting_. Apparently, it stopped him from thinking clearly; he says he can't understand why any vampires bother with humans."

Jake laughed. "You're kidding, right?"

"No, it's true." I assured him. "He really doesn't seem to miss it at all. Dad says that it's because Hal's interests are purely intellectual and not physical, so he doesn't really get much pleasure from drinking blood. He said that Hal is the most cerebral person he's ever encountered." I mulled this idea over for a moment and added thoughtfully. "He certainly is unusual."

I touched Jacob's arm and sent him a couple of memories of the snow-white vampire. He seemed taken aback by Hal's strange appearance. "Is that guy for real?"

"He does look a little strange, but he's so gentle, Jake, I couldn't help liking him. But that's nothing to Grandpa Carlisle. He's waited his whole life to find a vampire who is more interested in academics than he is, and that person has finally arrived. Hal is his new 'Best Friend Forever!'"

I had to smile at Grandpa Carlisle's enthusiasm; he clearly hadn't been getting enough intellectual stimulation from the rest of the family. Jake continued with the questions.

"So what about this Leo guy, why is he on the wagon?"

Remembering the drama that had arisen on this subject, I grimaced.

Jake caught the look. "What?"

I smiled ruefully. "I didn't want to talk about it on the phone, with everyone listening, but Dad got _really_ upset when he found out why Leo stopped feeding on human blood."

Jake looked confused. "How come? I thought he'd approve whatever the reason."

I shook my head. "Wait until I tell you what it was."

"This should be good."

I hardly knew where to start. "When he was asked about it, Leo said that it was a hassle burying the bodies, and moving after he killed. He said he had more freedom this way, but Dad read his mind and found out that he was hiding the real reason."

I almost felt as if I was betraying a confidence by speaking of it. "I don't think Dad would have told anyone, except that he was so unhappy, he got angry with Mom and the whole thing came out."

"Edward got angry with _Bella?_" Jake exclaimed in surprise.

"Yes, he stormed out of the house and Grandpa Carlisle had to go and talk to him."

"Really?" Jake raised his eyebrows. "So what happened?"

"It was ok in the end; he came back and explained everything. What he'd seen had touched a nerve. It seemed that Leo had fallen in love with a human girl." I took a deep breath and Jake threw me a curious look.

"And?"

"And… and he accidentally killed her," I whispered.

Jake gave a sharp intake of breath. "Are you serious?

I nodded. "Yes." I remembered the expression on my father's face and winced. "It was awful."

Touching Jake's arm, I showed him Leo's reaction to meeting me, and everything that my dad and Uncle Jasper had said on the subject. When I lifted my hand away, Jake looked unusually grim. He was lost in contemplation for a minute before saying.

"No wonder Edward took it badly. I'm not sure if anyone thought your mom was going to survive those early days with your dad… including him."

This was not what I wanted to hear and I refused to believe it. "He would _never_ have bitten her," I said stubbornly. I didn't care what anyone said, it couldn't be true. It just couldn't.

Lapsing into silence, I watched the scenery flash past.

"Nessie, are you ok?"

I nodded stiffly. "Uh huh."

Jake remained silent for a couple more minutes and then pulled the car over. I glanced at him in surprise.

"Why are we stopping? What's wrong?"

His dark eyes met mine and he raised his hand, gently brushing my cheek as he held my gaze. "That's what I want to know."

I wanted to tell him, I really did. But something stopped me. It was impossible to talk about this issue with anyone. My feelings about the more murderous instincts of my family were too painful for me to touch. I was afraid to face them, just as I was afraid to face the darker side of my own nature. So I lied, to protect myself.

"Honestly, I'm fine. I guess I'm just tired from the flight."

I knew that Jacob didn't believe me, but instead of pressing me about it, he just lifted my chin and kissed me lightly. "Ok, just checking."

I felt very relieved for his understanding, and threw him a sideways smile as he restarted the car. "Thanks."

"Anytime."

I rolled down the car window and let the rain splatter onto my shoulder. Smelling the damp air made me feel happier; it reminded me that I was close to home. I took a deep breath, trying to clear my head, and then switched on the stereo. This seemed like a good way to block out any uncomfortable thoughts. It needed to be louder. I turned up the volume and Jake raised his eyebrows, but said nothing.

We didn't really say much until the music ended, just as we reached Forks. In an attempt to turn my thoughts away from my father's killer instincts, I told Jake about Aunt Rose's alternative plans for my love life.

"I swear that's why she wanted me to go hunting with Leo. She hoped we would find love over the freshly killed carcass of a moose." I laughed and shook my head. "Only a Cullen could see _that_ as a potentially romantic situation."

Glancing at Jacob, I thought that he would be smiling, but he wasn't. Instead his face looked surprisingly tense, and I noticed his jaw clenching.

"Jake, what's wrong?" I asked anxiously, all the humour gone from my voice.

He didn't look at me, he just replied tersely. "Nothing."

Apparently, it was my turn for the evasive answers.

Jacob's anger took me by surprise; the most obvious reason for it was that he was jealous. I cursed myself. I was an insensitive idiot, _why_ had I told him about Rosalie's plans? But then I tried to think of the last time he had shown jealousy over me and came up with a complete blank. He had never been resentful of my other unattached male friends. No wonder I had thought he wouldn't be bothered.

So what was different this time?

I had a sudden realisation. They were all human.

Did he think that because Leo was a vampire that I might actually be interested? Did this circumstance make Jacob doubt my feelings for him? This was an uncomfortable idea, to say the least, and it was unfortunate that before I'd had a chance to discover if my suspicions were right, we had arrived at Grandpa's house.

"_Nessie!_" Grandpa was outside before we had even parked. He hugged me as soon I was out of the car. "Happy New Year, sweetheart."

I squeezed him back. "Hey, Grandpa."

A second later I was being hugged by Sue, and then Seth.

"Hey, Nessie." Seth grabbed hold of me and leaned down to kiss my cheek. "I'm glad you're here, now we can stop trying to guess when you're going to arrive!"

I put my arm through his and let him lead me into the house. "So, how's the wedding planning? You've set a date, right?"

"We should be finalising it this week." He smiled cheerfully, but then added in a conspiratorial whisper. "To be honest, I just want to get married. The other stuff goes over my head, so I just agree to whatever Marie suggests."

"That sounds wise; you'll make a good husband with that attitude." I smiled and hoped that Marie knew how lucky she was to have found someone as kind as Seth. I really loved him; he'd always felt much more like a brother to me, than an uncle.

Just as I was about to head upstairs, Jake appeared through the front door, carrying my bag. "Do you want me to take this to your room?"

"That's ok, I'll do it." I said, stepping towards him.

His expression was reserved as he handed me the bag. I sighed and went upstairs, feeling worried. I'd only just got home and I had already upset Jacob.

Some homecoming.

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**As you can see, Nessie is not skilled in the subtle art of diplomacy.**

**Thank you for reading and thanks to everyone who has reviewed (please keep it up, I really love reading them) and also a big thank you to everyone who has added this story to their favourites or their alerts list :) It always makes me feel really pleased to know that there are readers who want more.**

**And if anyone else has found a particularly funny BD review, please feel free to share it with me, I love them ;) This would even include their own personal review of the movie.**

**Have a wonderful week, Mad :)**


	12. Nessie, leech

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

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><p><strong>A huge thank you to my beta willowbae for being wonderful… and also for beta-ing this story! Ha ha.<strong>

**So now it's time to discover what is _really_ bothering Jake. This chapter is what I would describe as short, but to the point :)**

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><p><strong>Chapter 12.<strong>

**Nessie – leech**

As soon as I got into my bedroom, I threw my 'vampire' jacket into the corner of the room, and dumped my bag on the floor. I then traipsed back downstairs to face an interminable afternoon of small talk.

How was my mom? How was my dad? How were Carlisle and Esme, and Alice? How were the house, the garden, the neighbours and their dog? I answered as best I could, all the time trying to ignore the fact that Jacob was so quiet. He sat across the room from me, passing the occasional comment. I avoided looking in his direction, but from the corner of my eye, I was constantly aware of him.

I wondered if he was _very_ angry with me; maybe he thought that I'd been encouraging Leo's attentions. I was surprised by quite how much this idea hurt me. Did he think that I had so little loyalty? Worst of all, did Jake actually believe that I wanted to be with a vampire, instead of him?

He _couldn__'__t_ think that…

Jacob stayed for dinner and kept up a quiet conversation with Seth and Grandpa. Feeling weary and tense, I picked at my food. The kitchen lights were too bright and I wished that I was in my bedroom. At the end of the meal, Sue turned to me sympathetically.

"Nessie, you look tired."

I noticed Jake quickly glancing in my direction.

Keeping my eyes on Sue, I nodded. "I guess the flight is catching up with me."

"The time difference won't be helping. Maybe you should have an early night."

"Thanks." I smiled. "I think I will."

Jake stood up at that moment. "I should go… and you can get some rest."

As he spoke, I looked up at him uncertainly and he met my gaze with a sober expression. Letting my eyes fall, I rose from the table. Seth turned from me to Jacob, and I'm sure he guessed that something was wrong. While the rest of the family said goodbye to Jake, I hovered by the kitchen door in silence.

When he was ready to leave, I followed him into the shadowy night. Before I had even reached the front step, Jacob turned to me.

"Goodnight, Nessie." He leaned down and lightly kissed my cheek, in that same cold manner that he'd been using all night. "I'll call you tomorrow."

My breath caught in my throat as he turned to leave. He started walking to his car and I quickly followed him.

"Jacob, wait!" I grabbed his arm and pulled him around to face me. He looked surprised as I burst out. "I'm sorry… I didn't think. Please don't be angry with me."

He frowned. "What are you talking about?"

Releasing his arm, I looked away. I hadn't expected this evasion; it left me with no idea of what to say.

"I didn't mean to make you mad, Jake," I rattled hastily. "Those things I told you about Leo, I thought that you would find them funny. I was stupid and tactless, but honestly, it hadn't occurred to me that you might take it this way."

He folded his arms and met my gaze. "You didn't think I would feel this way?" He asked in disbelief.

My eyes dropped in confusion. "No, I never thought that you would doubt my feelings for you," I whispered, keeping my eyes down.

"What do you mean?" He stepped forward with a swift movement, catching my shoulders in a tight hold. As my eyes flew to his face, he glared down, fiercely. "I would never doubt you… _ever!_" He then added, with a reproachful frown. "I can't believe you would even _think_ that."

Jacob's hurt expression completely confused me, and I swallowed nervously. "Then why are you so upset?"

"I don't want to talk about it," he replied, looking obstinate.

I was having trouble keeping up, so I pressed him. "Tell me what's wrong. _Please_, Jake."

"I can't, honey. I'll only end up saying something I regret. It would be better if I went home and cooled off."

"That's not very reassuring. You really _are_ angry with me, aren't you?"

He looked down at me, and I could tell that he was debating whether or not to come clean. When he finally spoke, his eyes were black as pitch.

"I'm sorry, Nessie. I swear I'm not mad at you," he started to explain, but his feelings got the better of him. "It's just the thought of you being with some stinking, murderous _leech_…" For a moment he was too angry to speak, until he took a deep breath, and shook his head in disgust. "It makes me sick to my stomach."

The hatred resonating in his voice shocked me, and his language. However he talked when he was with the pack; he never used words like 'leech' or 'bloodsucker' in front of me. I should have just kept my big mouth shut; now Jake was upset and saying the kind of things that he normally kept to himself.

But I had asked for the truth, so I bit my lip and looked away; attempting to hide the pain that he was causing me. Apart from the defensiveness, which I felt on behalf of my family, I also wanted to speak up for Leo; Jacob didn't know him and was being unfair.

"Leo is no worse than most of my family," I murmured, keeping my voice free of emotion. But this comment only seemed to add fuel to the fire. I felt his grip tighten on my shoulders.

"Isn't it enough that he's already murdered one girlfriend?" He spat. "Do they want the same for _you_?" I was given no chance to reply, as he concluded bitterly. "You know what really gets me? I know that your family would _still_prefer to see you with that killer, than see you with me."

I was stung by this comment more than anything else. "That's not true," I cried, breaking free of his strong hold. "No one agreed with Aunt Rose; not even Uncle Emmett."

"They just didn't say it to your face, that's all," he said cynically, crossing his arms. "It doesn't mean that they didn't agree with her. They must have been _so_ happy when he tracked you; all their dreams were finally coming true."

His voice was laced with sarcasm and he sounded so uncompromising that all my barriers went up. There was no arguing with Jake when he was in this stubborn mood. I took a step away from him and said quietly.

"Ok, Jacob, now I know how you feel."

"You did ask me."

"You're right, I did." I nodded, taking another step back. "Thank you for your honesty."

For a moment we stood facing one another, neither of us making a move. Jacob's expression was angry, and mine guarded. My eyes wavered under his stern gaze, and after fighting back my very childish impulse to burst into tears, I broke the silence.

"Listen, I'm really tired." I glanced away and continued speaking in an expressionless tone. "I should probably get some rest."

I wasn't looking at his face, but his voice was very grim. "I'll leave you in peace then."

"Goodnight," I said quietly, allowing him no time to answer, before turning and hurrying into the house.

As I shut the front door, I heard Jake get into his car and drive away. Closing my eyes, I leaned my forehead against the painted wood and listened to the sound of his car engine fading into the distance. When the sound disappeared altogether, my heart throbbed painfully.

With an unhappy sigh, I straightened up and went into the kitchen, where I found Seth. He watched me thoughtfully, as I leaned against the counter.

"Are you ok?"

He must have heard our argument. I instantly felt stupid and ashamed. A lump appeared in my throat and I nodded. "I'm fine. I just wanted to say goodnight."

He gave me a kind smile. "Goodnight, Nessie. It's good to have you back."

Right then, I couldn't manage to agree with him and say that it was good to be back, so I just gave him a hug and then went to say goodnight to Grandpa and Sue, before heading upstairs. It took me a while to get ready for bed. I felt so drained by my argument with Jake, that I scarcely had the energy to move.

But I still managed to have a long shower and wash my hair. I wanted to be rid of all traces of vampire.

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**So things went _even_ better for Nessie than in the last chapter...**

**Thank you so much for reading :)**

**I've also been so pleased by all the really lovely reviews and comments, and the additions to various lists. Thank you very much to everyone who has done those things, they all mean a lot to me. And a special thank you to my anonymous reviewer, and Joanna, because I would have PM'd my thanks if I could have :)**

**Please keep reviewing, they are so interesting and inspiring to read.**

**And on a final note, I did manage to see Breaking Dawn yesterday, and had a very enjoyable time (much more than I was expecting). I laughed (loudly) the whole way through, luckily my ****friend didn't mind, but she's a _very_ tolerant person, and in fairness she was laughing quite a lot too (but quieter).**

**Anyway, have a really nice week, Mad :)**

**p.s. Did anyone else think that Sam's wolf voice sounded like the Evil Emperor Zurg?**


	13. Nessie, confessions

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

**A huge thanks to willowbae who has gone above and beyond the call of beta duty this week, by being really, really kind and supportive. She is the best beta ever :)**

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><p><strong>Chapter 13.<strong>

**Nessie – confessions**

I crawled under my bedcovers and rested my head on the pillow. I lay in the dark, staring at the light coming through the curtains, and I thought about Jake. The way things had been left between us, made me feel all wrong inside. My heart wouldn't stop aching. I wondered how he was feeling; I couldn't imagine that it was good. Since when was love supposed to feel this terrible?

Looking back on the evening, I couldn't believe how badly I had mishandled everything. I had no idea of how I was going to make it right.

Jake must have felt really hurt to be so angry, and – on reflection – I couldn't really blame him. When he'd said that he would never doubt my feelings, I knew that he was telling the truth. Jacob trusted me, he trusted the bond we shared, but I could see that I had screwed up.

He had put up with years of comments from members of my family, not to mention the chaperoning. He had gone against his instincts and avoided any serious conflicts with them, for my sake. It must have been a real kick in the teeth, to believe that they were actively trying to separate us, despite all of his efforts to do the right thing.

Jake would never believe that Aunt Rose was working alone, and _I_couldn't believe that I'd actually been fool enough to tell him about her plans. I must need my head examined.

He was hardly going to relish the idea of his imprint being pushed into the arms of another man, least of all a _vampire_. Even if he was able to get on with the odd individual, on the whole, Jacob didn't like vampires. After all, his wolf side only existed to kill them. I had been forcibly reminded of these facts by our argument. Although I knew that he loved me, his angry words touched upon my deepest anxieties.

Lying in my quite room, all the insecurities – which had been absent for months – started to creep back into my mind. I began to consider how Jacob felt about my vampire side. He couldn't possibly be happy about it; he may have been adept at hiding his feelings most of the time, but his words that evening had given a clear indication of what they _really_ were.

A quiet voice whispered inside me. _'You're a leech too._'

I tried to fight this insidious thought. 'I'm not like that.'

'_You've fed on human blood, haven't you?'_

'I didn't kill anyone. I was a baby, and that blood was donated,' I protested.

'_So that makes it ok, does it? Did those people donate their blood in the hope that someone would drink it? Face it, you're a leech, and you have been since your first breath.'_

I still tried to defend myself. 'I would never feed on human blood now.'

The voice became mocking. _'Have you forgotten your feelings, when you first met Marie?'_

This time I had no answer. I remembered the burning rage and thirst, which had begged me to end the life of that innocent girl. I had resisted, but it had been a close call.

'_Jake __doesn__'__t __know __what __you__'__re __really __like. __What __would __he __say __if __he __knew?__' _The voice continued to taunt me. _'__You __heard __him __tonight. __He __hates __vampires. __He __would __be __disgusted, __he __would __hate __you __too.__'_

I tried to remind myself that Jacob didn't think of me that way… he loved me. He'd imprinted on me.

'_He had no choice; it was involuntary. Now he just has to make the best of it. He doesn't want to face the truth any more than you do, bloodsucker…' _

I fought to hold back the tears. What was wrong with me, why couldn't I stop thinking this way? I'd believed that these feelings had gone for good, but here they were, lurking beneath the surface of my happiness, ready to break free and destroy it.

I lay awake, long after the rest of the family had gone to bed, wishing that I could escape into a dreamless sleep. Eventually, my exhaustion caught up with me, and somewhere around two o'clock my wish was granted.

It was still dark when I was jolted awake. It took me a second to understand what had woken me so abruptly. My cell phone was ringing on the bedside table; I reached out and answered it before the rest of the house was woken. Occasionally my family would call at odd times, because they were so used to being awake all night.

"Hello?" I said sleepily, letting my eyelids close.

"Hey, Nessie, it's me."

My eyes flew open in surprise. "Jake?"

"Honey, I need to talk to you." His voice was serious.

My heart sank, this sounded ominous. I glanced at the alarm clock; it was only three thirty. "I'm half asleep, Jake. Can't we talk in the morning? I can call you as soon as I get up."

"Please, Nessie…" he said earnestly. "I won't keep you for long. I'm already outside your house."

"What!" I sat bolt upright, suddenly very awake. "Wait a second…" I stumbled out of bed, across the darkened room and threw open the curtains.

Peering into the night, I spotted Jacob standing on the front lawn. He must have run over, because he was only wearing a pair of cut-off shorts. Hanging up the phone, I quietly opened the window and leaned out.

"What are you doing here?" I whispered anxiously. Was he still angry?

"I needed to see you." He came and stood under my window, his expression was really tense. "Can you come down?

I glanced at my skimpy shorts and tank top. "I'm not even dressed properly. What if the neighbours saw me… and told Grandpa!" I added, visualising the explanation that I'd have to give.

"Ok, ok…" He glanced around him – to check that no one was watching – and before I had registered what he was doing, he'd scaled the tree outside the window and was climbing into my bedroom.

He landed gracefully on his feet in the dark room, without making a sound. I took a few steps back and looked at him. It was strange having him there, like a fantasy made real. I couldn't count how many times I had imagined Jake in my room like this, with the moonlight catching the contours of his muscular frame. And me, in some insubstantial outfit, much like the one I was wearing now.

But somehow, it didn't feel the way it did in my daydreams. It wasn't sexy; it was just awkward. Maybe this was because in my imagination, Jake would have already wrapped me in his strong embrace and kissed me passionately. Having him stand by the window, wearing an uneasy expression, didn't have quite the same effect.

The uncomfortable silence made me feel self-conscious. I thought about what I was wearing and felt embarrassed. I started wishing that I had put on something baggy, preferably with proper legs and sleeves. Shifting from one foot to the other, I bit my lip and twisted my fingers through the mass of curls that had been produced by sleeping with damp hair.

I raised my eyes to his and whispered. "Jake, what's wrong?"

He distractedly ran his hand across his brow, and moved further into the room. Speaking quietly, he came closer. "I had to see you."

His eyes were hidden in shadow, but I knew that they never left my face.

"Why?"

My voice must have betrayed some of the pain that I had experienced in the last few hours, because Jake took a sharp breath and quickly moved forward, catching me in his arms.

"I'm sorry, Nessie," he whispered fervently, drawing me close. "I'm sorry…"

His warmth surrounded me and for a moment I was unable to speak, but a second later all my secret fears came flooding to the surface. Clutching my arms around his neck, I let out a choking sob and buried my face in his chest.

"Nessie, honey, don't cry…" He held me tighter and I could feel his warm breath in my hair. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean those things; I was just angry and jealous. I shouldn't have taken it out on you. I love you, sweetheart…"

I lifted my head and looked up at him. His dark eyes were so tender that I found the courage to voice the words that had haunted me.

"But I'm a _leech_…" My voice broke with the word.

Jacob frowned and gently lifted his hand to my tearstained cheek. "I never meant for you to take it that way," he said guiltily. "I should never have said that." He softly kissed my face. "Nessie, I wouldn't have you any different. You don't ever have to doubt that."

Raising my hand, I wove my fingers between his and gazed deep into his eyes. "Do you really mean it?"

"I swear it," he replied earnestly. "I love everything about you." He then hugged me again. "Anyway who am I to point fingers? I turn into a giant dog."

"But you're not a murderer," I sighed.

He smiled when I said this. "Neither are you."

"No, but…" I faltered, unsure of how much I wanted to reveal.

Jake raised his eyebrows in amusement. "Do you have a dark secret, honey? Was it Miss Cullen in the library, with the candlestick?"

I quickly let go of him and pulled back, wearing a defensive frown. "Don't… it's not funny," I said, turning away and sitting down on the edge of my bed. I then added in a stiff voice. "You don't understand."

He watched me silently for a moment, before shaking his head with a sigh, and following me to the bed. He crouched down in front of me and rested his elbows on his knees, so he was at my eye level.

He caught hold of my knotted hands. "So, why don't you explain it?" He asked gently.

I deliberated for a second. This was a confession that I had never been able to make before. I looked up and saw that his expression was sympathetic. Clasping his fingers, I took a deep breath.

"I never told anyone the way I felt, when I first met Marie. I was too ashamed to say anything." I glanced at him nervously and he gave me an encouraging smile, so I continued. "She came to dinner with Seth and I caught your scent on her – you'd been showing her around the reservation – I was so jealous," I explained and my voice dropped to a whisper. "I wanted to _kill_ her."

I hid my face in my hands, and waited for the gasp of horror.

It didn't come. Instead, I heard a low chuckle. My eyes flew to Jacob's face and I saw that he was smiling. Had he misheard me? He stood up and came to sit by me, on the bed. I threw him a confused look and he took my hand.

"Honestly, honey, we've all been there. You pretty much summed up how I was feeling about your friend Leo – and Blondie – earlier this evening." He gave me a rueful smile.

It was clear that I hadn't explained properly, he didn't seem to understand the seriousness of what I was telling him.

"No Jake, listen." I frowned. "I wasn't just angry. I felt as if a red-hot poker had been rammed down my throat. It was hideous; I've never been so close to losing control. I hardly knew myself…" I shuddered at the memory and lifted my eyes to his. "I'm telling you, Marie was only an inch from death. I still don't know how I stopped myself…"

His expression was very kind as he squeezed my fingers. "But you did. So Marie is alive and well, and currently planning the most extravagant wedding La Push has ever seen. You're not a killer Nessie. Your record is cleaner than mine."

"You've only killed hostile vampires… and that werewolf. That's the reason the pack exists; to protect people from supernatural threats. You've never felt that way about anyone else, have you?" I challenged him. "Marie is a human being and for one awful moment, I wanted to murder her… I really did. When have you ever wanted to do anything as terrible as that?"

Jacob was very quiet and I began to think that I had finally made him understand. He gently pulled his hand from mine, and I started to worry that my confession had really disturbed him. I had a terrible sinking feeling; maybe he couldn't handle the truth after all. I didn't know what to say, but he spoke first, in a low voice.

"I'm not so perfect," was his unexpected comment.

There was a something in his tone that made me feel slightly fearful. I quickly glanced towards him and even in the dark; I could see that his brow was furrowed by a deep frown.

"What do you mean? Have you ever wanted to hurt an innocent person?" I asked nervously, suddenly wondering if I really wanted to know.

My question hung in the air as Jake stayed completely quiet. I took his lack of a denial as a conformation that he had.

"Who was it?" I asked in a quiet voice.

Still no reply, he may as well have been made of stone, he was so silent. His reluctance to tell me, made me feel sure that it was someone I knew, probably someone I loved.

Although he regarded my family as proper people now, I was aware that that hadn't always been the case. Thanks to the gossips at La Push, I knew that Jake's relationship with them had initially been very antagonistic, and not just because they were vampires.

Apparently he'd had a silly teenage crush on my mom, which had caused some additional bad feeling with my dad. I'd found out about it when I was a very little girl, and had thought that it was funny. I certainly hadn't taken it seriously, and I still didn't.

Maybe now Jacob felt guilty about how much he'd disliked my dad. But the gossips said that the antipathy had been mutual, so I was surprised that it still bothered him. My dad had probably felt the same way, but he'd got over it. Jake didn't need to feel bad.

"Was it my dad?" I probed, before adding tentatively. "I bet he was just as bad as you."

"I wasn't thinking about him," he said quietly. His expression was very sober and his eyes were hidden in shadow. This must be serious.

I tried again. "Was it one of the pack?"

This question made Jake give an exasperated sigh. "Of course it wasn't. Come on, Nessie, can we talk about something else?"

I looked towards the open window and watched the curtains, as they fluttered gently in the night breeze. I ignored his request and fixed my mind on the puzzle. Who else could it be? I went through a number of options and dismissed them all. Someone from La Push, the apprentice at the garage, Billy, Grandpa… who? Who was it? Why did Jacob look so guilty?

And then it hit me, there was only one other person who I had forgotten to include in my list, and that was my mother. I was shocked to imagine Jake feeling that way about her; I wanted to shy away from the idea. But it fitted so perfectly with his reaction that I had to admit it seemed very plausible.

He must have wanted to kill my mother. She had become a vampire; I even remembered her lunging at him, when I was a baby. I had never considered that circumstance as particularly important before, but maybe I had underestimated how strained things had been between them.

But he loved her now; I knew he did. I couldn't find it in me to feel angry, though I probably should have been. He hadn't meant it really.

"It was my mom, wasn't it?" I whispered, watching him with wide eyes.

At last he turned towards me and his eyes were burning. "No, honey… it wasn't."

I knew that he was telling the truth, he didn't sound angry or reproachful; he sounded _tortured_. I had been so sure it was my mother that I was momentarily taken aback. Who else did that leave?

There was no one else who could make him look this way… except… except…

"_Me...?_"

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><p><strong>Author's notes<strong>

**Thanks for the reviews and for the additions to lists :)**

**I got a really nice anonymous review this week, which appeared at a very opportune moment (because I've definitely had a tough week) and I just want to say thanks, that message made me feel really pleased :)**

**Have a great week everyone, Mad**


	14. Nessie, the unconscious mind

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

**As always, a huge thanks to willowbae for her beta-ing. There's a small addition to this chapter, just for her... :) **

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><p><strong>Chapter 14.<strong>

**Nessie – the unconscious mind**

As I whispered the word, Jake buried his head in his hands.

"I'm sorry, Nessie." He sounded completely anguished. "I was so angry… it was hideous, I thought Bella was dead… I didn't know what you were…"

I wasn't aware of feeling shocked, or angry, or even hurt. I just felt vaguely disorientated. Jacob's voice seemed to be coming from a long way away. It was strange, considering that the window was open, how little air was in the room. Why hadn't I noticed this before?

I took a deep breath, but it was still so airless that I felt suffocated.

And Jake's voice kept getting further and further away.

"… I was out of my mind…"

Taking another empty breath, I noticed that the room seemed to be tilting. That was strange too…

_It was pouring with rain and I had been pacing the shoreline for hours. Oppressive, black, storm clouds hung low over the ocean. I was chilled to the bone and completely rain soaked, but my eyes continued to scan the horizon. I wasn't sure what I was looking for, but I knew that it was important. _

_With a sigh, I turned away from the sea; it was no good, I hadn't found anything. My eyes travelled along the beach and I caught sight of Leo, approaching me across the wet sand. I instantly felt very anxious; he shouldn't be here, the wolves wouldn't like it. _

_He hardly seemed to notice me; his eyes were fixed on the distant waves. Halting a short distance away, he finally turned his gaze upon me, and I was shocked to discover that his irises were a blazing red. _

"_What have you done?" I cried, stumbling forward in dismay. _

_I didn't really need to ask, I already knew that she was dead, and a weight of sorrow pressed down on me so hard that I felt as if my insides were being crushed. Seeing the grief-stricken look on my face, Leo closed the gap between us. He reached out and drew me into his arms. My tears spilled over as I laid my cheek against his chest. _

"_Why...?" My tone was pleading. I needed to understand why he had done such a terrible thing. _

_He held me securely and spoke in a low voice. "You can help me, Red."_

_I shook my head, hiding my face in his shirt. "I can't." _

"_You can… not now, but soon."_

"Nessie… please, honey. _Please_… wake up!"

Jake was close, but I couldn't see him on the shore.

My eyes flickered open and I found that I was in a dark room. My room… and I was stretched out on the bed.

I felt a warm touch on my forehead and I shuddered.

"It's ok, you're safe… don't be afraid." Jacob was sitting on the edge of my bed.

"Jake…?"

I could only manage one word before I was hit by the most horrible feeling of sickness. I gasped and rolled onto my side, in an attempt to stop the room spinning. My temperature seemed to plummet, from hot to cold, in an instant. I can't remember ever having felt so terrible before. The sensation didn't last long, but what I did experience was bad enough.

"Do you want me to fetch Sue?" Jake leaned over me and his voice was full of concern.

I tried to pull my shattered wits together. Did I want Sue…?

"No…" I tried to say more, but my teeth started chattering from the cold, in fact my whole body seemed to be shivering uncontrollably. I felt my bedspread being pulled up and tucked tightly around me. I was still shaking as I stammered. "I… feel… funny."

"Honey… I'm so sorry." Jacob sounded really upset; I was worried about him.

"What's… w…wrong?" I wished my teeth would stop chattering.

"You passed out; I only just caught you in time."

It was coming back to me now. I closed my eyes again, and tried to make sense of what Jake had told me.

He had wanted me dead.

Worse than that, he'd wanted to commit the actual act.

No wonder I had felt as if the ground was being torn from under my feet. It was as shocking as if I'd been told that my mother had felt the same way. And it made about as much sense. Jacob's unwavering affection for me was the linchpin of my life. Was everything that I'd been led to believe really a lie?

And then I thought about the very first time that he had looked at me, on the day I was born. I remembered the expression which came into his eyes when they met mine, and I knew the truth. Jacob had _never_ hated me. Whatever he'd thought about the idea of me, he had loved the real me, completely and without condition, from the very start.

This beautiful memory cut straight through my pain and uncertainty, and I gave up trying to speak; instead, I slipped my hand out from under the covers and rested my fingers on his arm.

_Don__'__t __worry, __I __understand._ I showed him my memory.

He leaned forward and rested his forehead on my hand. "I had a lot of stupid, preconceived ideas about you, Nessie. I didn't understand anything… but when I saw you… things made sense, for the first time in my life. I can't tell you how much you mean to me, how much I love you…"

_I __know. __I __love __you, __too._ I then added, as an afterthought. _I __feel __cold._

Shifting his position, he lay down on the bed, wrapping his long arms around the bedspread and me. I wiggled and pulled one side of the cover loose, then draped it over him too.

"That's better," I said, nestling against his warm body.

"I'm a space heater."

"Huh?"

"Nothing…" He put his arm around me protectively, and kissed my hair.

I pressed my cheek against the smooth skin of his chest. _I__'__m __sorry __I __fainted. __I __don__'__t __know __what __happened._

"It was my fault, I didn't mean to shock you so badly," he said remorsefully.

_Don't worry about it… I hope you weren't scared._

"That's an understatement." He held me closer. "I didn't even know that you _could _pass out. For a second I thought that the shock had killed you."

I chuckled and kissed his collarbone. _Sorry!_

"Not half as sorry as I am," he said, resting his head back on the pillow. "How do you feel now?"

_I __still __feel s__trange._ I slid my arm around his waist and tried to get warm. _Will __you __stay __for __a __little __while?_

"I'll stay as long as I can."

_Good._ I closed my eyes and listened to the reassuring sound of his heart. The last thing I could remember was Jake saying quietly.

"I never meant to put you through this, Nessie. But would you understand if I told you that I'm glad you know everything?

With my arm lying across his bare skin, I could answer without moving a muscle. _I __understand. __Secrets __are __bad__… __I__'__m __glad __you __know __mine __too._

I then slipped into a deep sleep. Jacob's presence kept the nightmares at bay, and I was too tired for any other kind of dream.

I was woken a few hours later by his quiet voice in my ear.

"I've got to go now."

"Huh?" I took a second to wake up. I opened my eyes and saw that the room was getting lighter. I was now lying with my back to Jacob. His arm was wrapped around my waist, holding me close.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, but I didn't want you to wake up and find me gone," he said quietly. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," I was more awake now and could manage a coherent reply. "Thanks for staying."

"It's ok. I could get used to this." He kissed my shoulder and then sat up. "But I'd better not…"

I rolled over as he got out of bed. "How long have we been asleep?"

"It's seven. But you're the only one who's had any sleep." He grinned.

"Didn't you feel tired?" I asked innocently.

"Sure I did, but do you really think that I was going to risk being caught asleep in your bed?" He shook his head in disbelief at the idea.

"Oh!" I blushed at the thought of being found by Grandpa or Sue. And then I pictured Grandpa telling my parents and cringed. "You're right, they would kill us."

He smiled ruefully. "Not _us_ – let's be specific about this – they'd kill _me._"

I had to admit that he was probably right.

"It doesn't help that my dad is so old fashioned. In his day, no gentleman would go into a girl's bedroom," I said meditatively. "My dad would never _dream _of doing such a thing. I feel sorry for my mom; he must have been really boring when they were dating."

Glancing at Jacob, I noticed that he was wearing a particularly blank expression as he said. "Um… right."

I started to warm to my theme and added in a hushed tone. "When I started seeing you, Uncle Emmett warned me that I had to be very well behaved, because my dad didn't even _kiss _my mom until they were engaged."

Jake made a strange choking sound and I looked at him with concern. "Are you ok?"

"Sure, sure," he nodded briskly and leaned over me. "Honey, I've got to go." He brushed my hair out of my eyes and gave me a tender kiss. "I'll call you after I catch up on some sleep."

I watched as he climbed out of the window, and heard the light thud as he landed on the lawn. I lay back down and was sound asleep within minutes.

It was late morning when I finally reawakened. There was gentle knocking at my door. I reluctantly opened my eyes and called out.

"Come in."

Seth poked his head around the door and spotted me, lying in bed. "Oh, sorry… I didn't realise you were still asleep."

"Don't worry." I glanced at my clock. "It's about time I got up."

"Mom was wondering if you wanted a cooked breakfast."

I sat up and smiled gratefully. "Could you tell her, thank you for offering, but I'll just make myself some toast or something…" Seth nodded at my words, but his expression was slightly distracted. "Seth, are you ok?"

He seemed embarrassed. "I'm fine."

What was with him? His eyes darted to the open window and then I realised that he must have noticed Jacob's scent. I instantly turned scarlet and blurted out.

"It's not what you think."

Seth looked uncomfortable as he said. "What goes on between you two is none of my business."

I felt utterly mortified as I protested. "But that's my point, nothing did go on."

"Ok, Nessie, whatever you say," he answered, beating a hasty retreat.

I knew that he would never rat me out, and not just because Jake was his Alpha, Seth just wasn't a snitch. But it was still humiliating to see how determined he was to _pretend_ that he believed me.

Jake was going to have to clear this one up; he was the one who'd decided to show up in the middle of the night. I gave a little sigh.

He was so _wonderful__…_

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Thanks to everyone who has reviewed this week, the comments have been lovely, and a special thanks to Joanna and Emy (because I can't PM you) it was great to read your thoughts :)**

**Please keep reviewing, I love to have the feedback.**

**Also a massive thanks to everyone who has added this story to their alerts. I'm so pleased!**

**Have a great week everyone, Mad :)**


	15. Leo, reflections

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

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><p><strong>Thank you to willowbae for her great beta-ing and for all the funny email links (it's a miracle that either of us ever get anything done!)<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 15.<strong>

**Leo – reflections**

I never thought I'd be sorry for Hal's lecture series to be over, but I was. The trip had exceeded all expectations, it had been fantastic. The Cullens were really great and it was good to see my brother so happy. In Carlisle, he'd found a true friend; someone who understood the workings of his mind in a way that I never could.

I had no doubt we'd stay in touch, I knew that Hal would be emailing Carlisle constantly, and I had made my own connections with the family. I wanted to see them again, and they had pressed me to make a return visit.

Emmett was particularly enthusiastic about the idea. This was probably because I was a keen wrestler. It had got pretty competitive between us, but it was still awesome, and I liked the girls too, especially Rosalie. But my very favourite was definitely the baby of the family.

I was surprised by how much I missed Nessie Cullen after she left. She was very endearing, more so than anyone I had met in a long time. There was something about her; she was so sweet and earnest, I found myself reminded of the girl that I had lost years ago.

Apart from this surprising connection, I had a lot of sympathy for her too. I could tell – from our various conversations – that things weren't always easy in her life. Her family were seriously overprotective; I wasn't sure that they could see how restrictive they were being, or maybe they just didn't care. Whatever the case, it looked suffocating from the outside.

Red wasn't exactly one of them either. She may have been part of a coven, but I had noticed the way she talked about the mortals in her life – like her mom's family – she loved them in a very human way. Frankly, in her attitudes and outlook, she was far more like a human, than a vampire. To me, the most obvious difference was that she didn't seem to be constantly repressing a killer instinct, unlike the other Cullens. Something told me that this would cause trouble between them one day.

And her relationship with the shapeshifter also seemed complicated. It didn't take a genius to see that she was completely wrapped up in the guy. I hoped he appreciated her properly. I guessed that he must be pretty into her. He'd have to be, to put up with all the interference from Edward and Emmett – the unholy alliance of chaperones.

I couldn't understand why little Red and her wolf weren't more cunning, her family wouldn't know what they couldn't see; for crying out loud, she lived right across the country. I was happy to give her my advice. Initially, I was undecided on what to say. She was so innocent that I wasn't sure what ideas I should be planting her head.

What if the guy made it with her, and then dumped her? She seemed so sure of his loyalty, I wondered if maybe she was too trusting. She wouldn't be the first girl to make that mistake, and I had no doubt that Nessie would take it really hard if she was treated that way. But on consideration, I realised that no sane guy would take a chance like that, not when she was backed up by a family of moralistic killing machines.

I was glad that I'd warned her about getting pregnant, but I must admit that I was slightly startled by her comments about safe sex. She seemed so young and inexperienced; I really wasn't expecting her to show such initiative on the subject.

When I was seventeen, no nice girl would ever dream of buying birth control. Of course, this might have been because no nice girl was having premarital sex – I smiled to myself – well not officially anyway. It seemed that Red was one of the few people in the world who still had the power to surprise me.

I suppose it was good that things had changed. At least it meant that she wasn't relying on her boyfriend to do the right thing. I was relieved that she wasn't being a total airhead about it. I didn't like the thought of Nessie being caught out, especially as her family would be certain to take it very badly if she was. They would give new meaning to the expression 'shotgun wedding.'

Anyway, I encouraged her to take the matter into her own hands with a few helpful hints. I almost felt guilty the next time I saw Edward and Bella. But then I decided that what they didn't know wouldn't hurt them. Whether or not they liked it, they couldn't stop her growing up.

It was only on the flight back to San Francisco that I learned exactly why Nessie had been so cautious in her activities. My brother and I were talking about the trip, and discussing our new friends.

"What a remarkable family," said Hal, approvingly.

"I know. It's amazing that so many of them can live together without fighting." I mulled over the idea. "I guess the diet helps."

"Yes, that's true," he said quietly – trying not to be overheard by the blonde stewardess, who'd been attempting to catch my eye since we boarded – "but I was thinking more specifically about their talents."

"Sure, Jasper and Alice." I nodded. "They must be useful."

"And let's not forget Bella and Edward," he added. "No wonder their daughter is talented."

I hadn't got a clue what he was talking about. "They have talents?"

"Oh yes," he answered enthusiastically. "Apparently, Bella is a powerful shield, Nessie can project her thoughts and Edward is a mind reader."

"_What?_" I exclaimed loudly enough to bring the stewardess running.

"Can I help you?" She asked breathlessly, leaning towards me with her lips slightly parted. She smelled so good that for a second I imagined what she'd taste like.

"No thanks." I held her gaze for a brief moment and smiled. "I'll call _you_ if I need anything."

She looked dazed and stuttered. "Yes… _anything_… just let me know." With these words she tore herself away, her heartbeat accelerating wildly.

"I wish you wouldn't do that… it's embarrassing," reprimanded Hal, the second she was out of earshot.

I shrugged. Was it my fault that human girls made it so easy? Like the stewardess…

I could picture being alone with her and running my lips along her fragrant wrist and up her arm. Moving across her shoulder, I would finally reach the soft skin of her neck. I'd pause and take a slow breath, just to let her scent play on my tongue and down my throat. This would be followed by the burning fire of thirst, which would only make the fatal bite more satisfying.

Before I could get any further with this pleasant daydream, another image stole into my mind. It was familiar to me and – thanks to my perfect recall – was accurate in every horrific detail. The fragile body of a girl in my arms, her tanned skin and sun-kissed hair, covered with gore; her blood staining everything it touched, including me.

After all these years, that memory had not remotely lost its sting. It was the mental block that I had no hope of overcoming, and it had saved countless lives. Not one drop of human blood had crossed my lips since that day. In all honesty – although I indulged in the occasional fantasy – I wouldn't have fed on humans now anyway, even if I hadn't had that memory thrown in my face every time I considered it.

This was the real legacy she'd left me, it wasn't just the guilt; I really couldn't see human beings as food anymore. In some ways it was useful not to be a slave to their blood. But mostly, I preferred that I wasn't leaving a trail of death and misery behind me; I'd had enough of that myself. But it still killed me, replaying those terrible moments over, and over, again.

I winced and turned to Hal, hoping he would tell me more about the Cullens. "How do you know about their other talents?"

"Carlisle told me…"

I shot him a curious look. "What else did he say?"

He spent the rest of the flight giving me a detailed account of the Cullen family chronicles. It turned out that I had only heard a fraction of their history during our stay. What Hal had been told by Carlisle was enough to have filled several novels.

It involved feuds with the Volturi, alliances with shapeshifting wolves, armies of newborns, some weird wolf thing called 'imprinting', a human-vampire marriage, unusual in-laws and a death defying birth. Suddenly my life seemed very boring. What the hell had I been doing with myself all these years?

When Hal was done, I turned to him and said blankly. "And you didn't think to mention any of this to me, because..?"

"I thought I did," he said, looking especially vague.

"For God's sake, Hal, you have perfect recall. You _know_ you didn't!" I snapped, trying to remember exactly what the extraordinarily powerful mind-reader, Edward, would have seen in my head.

There was some stuff that I would rather have kept private, but most of those memories were buried pretty deep, he couldn't have seen much. She was still mine, he hadn't touched her. Apart from that, there was nothing else too bad.

Neither Hal, nor I, had any hostile feelings towards his family. I thanked God that his wife wasn't my type. I'd found the gorgeous Rosalie far more attractive – she could have given Dominica a run for her money in the looks department – and Red too. Come to think of it, maybe this wasn't a good thing, considering she was his daughter!

But I hadn't thought anything about her that he wouldn't have heard from a thousand other guys. He must be used to the fact that he had a hot daughter by now. I took comfort in this idea and decided not to worry. It wasn't like I'd obsessed about the girl.

And then I remembered my conversation with Nessie. The one in which I'd encouraged her to pull a big seduction on her boyfriend, the conversation I'd had on my mind, when I last saw Bella and Edward…

Damn!

I hadn't meant to give her away like that. No wonder Edward had seemed a little frosty that day. Poor kid… it was even worse than I thought. She wasn't even free in her own head. Now I understood why she didn't dare take any chances with her boyfriend.

And what about him? I suddenly really felt for the guy. If anyone deserved sympathy, it was the man who was dating Edward Cullen's daughter. What a nightmare. He wasn't allowed to do anything with her, and he couldn't even comfort himself by _imagining_ it.

This imprinting thing must be pretty powerful draw; otherwise it would never be worth the trouble. It must have been some consolation to him that he lived two thousand miles away from Edward. At least his imagination would be free to run wild at home. And with a girlfriend like Red to think about, I assumed that it would.

I was glad that she also lived on the west coast. I hoped to see her again, and I thought that she would be happy to see me. There was a connection there, I could feel it. My instincts told me that meeting her was no random occurrence, and my instincts were never wrong.

Our flight arrived in San Francisco late in the evening and we caught a cab home. Hal and I lived in a worn, old house, located in a quiet suburb of the city. Technically the place belonged to Hal, but he'd let me take up residency there, too.

We tried to keep a low profile with the neighbours, though it wasn't always easy. This was partly my fault. They were aware that we were brothers – which, for two grown men sharing a house in San Francisco, must have come as a surprise – and they knew that Hal was an academic, but I had put out the word that I was an _explorer_.

I thought that it might account for my long absences – when I went tracking, or hunting, for months – and the fact that I would be coming and going, carrying a backpack. Hal was unimpressed with my fictitious occupation. He said that it sounded too interesting, and would make blending into the background more difficult.

He was right; our neighbours were forever asking him about my latest adventures, especially Mrs Finkleman and her three teenage daughters. It sometimes seemed a shame that Hal wasn't more imaginative with his answers. He could have put in a little _more_ Indiana Jones, and a little _less_ nerdy botanist.

But apart from these minor hitches, our living arrangements were pretty agreeable. I just needed a place where I could keep my stuff, and hang out, when I was in town. Hal was happy for me to have the large upstairs room at the back of the house.

I kept my room Spartan, with a bed and a wardrobe for my things. Some magazines were stacked on the bedside table, along with my stereo, and that was about it. I liked everything to be orderly, which was probably a leftover habit from my days in the navy. Every other room was filled with Hal's books and papers. Apart from my room, the whole house had become an extension of his study.

As soon as we got in, Hal hurried to his desk and I carried my bag upstairs. I tossed it onto the floor, along with my jacket, and pulled down the blind. Although I had a cell phone, most of my friends only had my house number. I didn't like being hassled on the phone, so I really just kept the cell for Hal to stay in touch when I was away. I didn't like to leave him completely vulnerable with no way to reach me. You never knew who was out there.

As I sat on the bed and pulled off my boots, I noticed that the answerphone was flashing. Stripping off my shirt, I lay back on the bed and flicked it on.

A beautiful, musical voice came floating out of the machine. I raised my eyebrows, I hadn't heard from Dominica in a while.

"Leo, sweetheart, it's me. If Brandon calls, you don't know where I am. Got it?"

That wouldn't be difficult; I _didn__'__t_ know where she was!

I gave a sigh; it was _that _time again. Every five, or so, years, Dominica would have an explosive row with her mate, Brandon, and dramatically leave him. I generally made a concerted effort not to be drawn into their quarrels, which was easier said than done, as she had a genius for showing up on my doorstep and demanding sanctuary.

This was always awkward, since Hal didn't like her. He said she was a troublemaker, which was – technically speaking – an understatement. But I still had a corner of affection for the black haired beauty, in spite of all the problems she'd caused me over the years. I always looked out for her, and it wasn't just because we'd had a thing for each other.

Dominica and I had a strong camaraderie, maybe because we'd witnessed so many of each other's screw-ups. And I knew that even Hal would have been reluctant to cut her out of his life altogether. We all had a shared history and the same creator. Bonds like that couldn't be broken easily, even after all these years.

The next message was, of course, from Brandon. "Hey Leo." His deep voice could barely contain his anger. "When Dominica calls, tell her she's pushed it too far this time. When I catch up with her, there's gonna be trouble…"

Yeah _right_.

He was a powerful vampire, but he had about as much chance of reining her in, as I did of enjoying a bowl of lentil soup. She was a nightmare, but he was besotted with her. And in spite of her capricious nature, she loved him with far more depth than she had ever felt for Ramon. Brandon was her true mate; I couldn't imagine her ripping _his_ head off! But I still wished that she would just cut the crap and give us all some peace.

The messages continued. It was Brandon again, this time he sounded less pissed off, and more anxious. "Hi, it's Brandon. If you hear from her, let me know. Thanks, man."

She was really turning the screws on him. It was the same thing every time. She would be gone just long enough to really stress him out. I had to admire her ability to mess with his head. There were half a dozen more messages, playing out the familiar drama.

The final message had been left two days ago. "Leo, where are you?" Dominica's voice had become plaintive. "I need you and you've disappeared." She always fell back on the little-girl-lost routine when all else failed. I rolled my eyes, and picked up the phone to dial her number.

"Hello?" Dominica's dulcet tones greeted me.

"Hey angel, how's it going?"

She sounded petulant; I could almost hear her pouting. "Leo, why didn't you call me?" She demanded. "I thought you loved me… but you don't care at _all_."

"I was out of town, but I'm calling you now." She loved her games, so I playing along. "Isn't that good enough?"

"You're too late. I needed you two days ago; I don't need you now."

I sighed with relief; I knew at once that she'd gone home. "How's Brandon?"

She gave a coy laugh. "He's fine. Do you want to speak to him? He's right here."

"Sure."

She passed me over to her mate, and after a friendly chat with Brandon, I hung up the phone and frowned. There was only so much I could take of a lovey-dovey couple right now. Having spent a week in New Hampshire, with four of the most 'in love' pairs that I'd ever met, I needed a break.

At least now I was home, things could go back to normal. Nothing here had changed. I rested my head on my pillow and stared at the ceiling.

Yeah, everything was just the same as it had been before.

I sighed.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note:<strong>

**Hi there, I just want to say a huge thank you for the lovely reviews, they have been so nice. It's really motivating to get the feedback and I'm always extremely interested to know what you think (and a special thanks to Emy and Joanna, cause I can't PM you, I loved your messages, thank you).**

**So please keep reviewing :)**

**Apart from that, thank you for reading and have a lovely week everyone, Mad :)**


	16. Nessie, college and life

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

* * *

><p><strong>Merry Christmas and an extra thank you to my very lovely beta willowbae. I'm ashamed to admit that my 'artistic temperament' has been making a bit of an appearance this week and she's had to be extra nice to me...<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 16.<strong>

**Nessie – College and Life**

"Don't smoke."

I nodded. "Ok."

"Or drink."

"Does that include blood?"

Jacob ignored me and continued with his list – he didn't want to forget anything. "And try to stay in places where there are plenty of nuns."

"It's a college campus; I haven't noticed too many of the sisters hanging around."

"And most of all; don't go anywhere where the students are looking happy or having fun. They're sure to be up to no good." He threw my bag into the trunk of my car and slammed it shut.

I laughed and hugged him. "You said all of this last term, remember?"

He smiled and ran his palms up my arms, resting them on my shoulders. "I don't think you were listening then, either."

"You're right, I wasn't," I admitted cheerfully.

Fortunately, Jake seemed to be resigned to the fact that I would completely disregard his advice, so instead of continuing with his lecture, he leaned down and kissed me. I caught my arms around his neck and pulled him closer, as he slid his hands from my shoulders to my back.

When we finally broke apart, I leaned against his chest and sighed. "You're not making it easy for me to leave."

Jacob lifted his hand to my face, brushing my cheek with his thumb. "I'll miss you, honey," he said quietly and kissed me again.

I smiled up at him. "Will you call me tonight?

"Sure, when I get home." He nodded, before adding with a groan. "Whatever time that will be…"

"I thought you said that things were getting better."

"They are. A lot better. But you know how it is; those kids are still so new to the pack, I can't get complacent."

"Maybe it would help if you read them all a bedtime story," I suggested, with an innocent smile.

"You're _so_ funny." He pulled a weary face, pretending like he didn't _love_ it when I teased him.

I wasn't fooled; I noticed how his grip on me tightened. I kissed and hugged him once more, before forcing myself into the car. We'd had a really nice weekend together and now it was Sunday afternoon, and time for me to head back to college and start the new term.

I was relieved that things were back to normal between us, maybe even slightly better than they'd ever been; we seemed to have reached a new level of understanding in our relationship. But this didn't exactly make me desperate to leave. I took consolation in the fact that I would be seeing Jake on the following weekend. The fact that I was genuinely enjoying college did make it marginally easier for me to tear myself away and drive back to Seattle.

For the most part, college was great. I'd enrolled at the University of Washington in September and – by an amazing stroke of luck – two of my best friends from Fork's High School had also started there. Oliver Smith, from my Dungeons and Dragons games club, was taking a degree in History. And Kristy Larsson, my favourite human girlfriend, was majoring in Biology.

Best of all, my family had pulled some strings and I ended up sharing a room with Kristy on campus. The downside of having a roommate was that I had to act human all the time. But living with Grandpa had already given me plenty of practice, so I managed pretty well.

Life on campus was nice. I was lucky, there seemed to be some really friendly students in my year and, in spite of the vast quantities of work that our professors piled onto us, there were always social activities being organised as a distraction.

Although I usually spent my weekends in Forks, I still managed to attend plenty of events and parties during the week. I had become more adept at handling the attention that I often seemed to attract. Now I had no problem with deflecting it and moving on. Kristy loved socialising too, so between us, we were busy most evenings.

I still met up with Oliver to have online Games Club meetings with the club members who were still in Forks. My original role-playing character, Neoin the elf, had met her demise at the hands of a treacherous Ork during the summer. I was heartbroken and wrote a touching poem about it in the Elvish language.

I'd even cried when reading my poem to Jacob, and was very offended when he laughed. Jake loved it when I spoke to him in Elvish – he thought it was sexy – so as punishment for his insensitivity, I stubbornly refused to say anything to him in Elvish for a month.

Anyway, apart from these minor upsets, most things had been going fairly smoothly for me. I even managed to make some time for my studies! The Anthropology syllabus was so interesting, that it wasn't hard to focus on the work.

So far, the only fly in my college ointment was Professor Leary. The whole situation was slightly strange. I had heard a fair number of horror stories, about professors who tried to have affairs with their students, before I started college – even _Seth_ had felt the need to warn me about them when I moved to campus.

Although I had been primed for the possibility of encountering that kind of creep, I hadn't actually believed that I would. Professor Leary taught me that I had been overly optimistic. He wasn't blatant, but right from the start my dealings with him left me feeling extremely uneasy.

I was lucky that I didn't have to see him more than once a week. He was about forty five, and had the looks of a man who might have been attractive once, but had rather lost his shine. He was of medium height and build, with brown hair that swept away from his forehead in an 'intellectual' manner.

He liked to dress as if he was still pretty cool, in jeans and stylish jackets, but from our very first meeting, I was completely repelled by him. He strolled into the classroom – clearly making a grand entrance – and dramatically tossed his bag onto the desk, before turning to the class with self-satisfied smirk.

"Good morning, people. I'm Professor Leary."

His eyes swept the room and they rested on me, or rather, they rested on my legs, where they lingered for a moment, then travelled up to my chest and eventually made it to my face, by which point I was feeling pretty uncomfortable. I shifted in my chair and wished that I had worn jeans and a thick sweatshirt, instead of a skirt and tank top.

He smiled briefly at me and then glanced towards the class register, which was lying on his desk. He picked it up.

"Right then, let's see who we have here." He smiled at the class, and I noticed that his eyes flickered in my direction again.

He then proceeded to take the register; unfortunately my name came first, so he had an excuse to pass comment as soon as I answered him. He raised his eyebrows and said in a smooth tone.

"Miss _Cullen_. Welcome to my class, I hope you enjoy it..." He then glanced around and added as an obvious afterthought. "That goes for the rest of you too."

During the class, he asked me more questions than anyone else. It didn't help that I actually knew the answers to most of them, because that gave him the opportunity to claim that I was trying to become the teacher's pet. The thought of being his pet made me feel slightly nauseated, so I just gave a vacant smile and pretended not to notice his insinuating tone.

At the end of the lesson, I hurried to collect my things and escape, but Professor Leary found a way to stall me, by asking if someone would volunteer to carry some textbooks from the classroom to the storeroom. I hadn't said _anything_, but he caught my eye and chose to interpret my reluctant expression as an offer of assistance.

"Thank you, Miss Cullen." He smiled confidently. "Just follow me."

So I spent the next fifteen minutes in the company of an odious man, who was keen to tell me how approachable he was, and how much he wanted the students to come to him if they ever needed help, or just someone to _talk _to.

After that day, he _always_ found a way to trap me into conversation, and I would find myself stuck alone with him at the end of the class. I hated it, there was something about the way he looked at me; he made me feel dirty. This was bad enough, but the final straw came when I was roped into helping him assemble some folders of notes for the class.

This particular activity was to take place on a Thursday evening in his office. He had requested my assistance because – allegedly – there was such a mountain of notes to organise that he would never have time to finish them on his own. Like a total dumbass, I'd failed to think of a convincing refusal until about ten minutes _after _I'd agreed to his unappealing plan.

On the dreaded Thursday, I met up with Kristy and Oliver for lunch. It was funny, they had never really socialised with each other when we were living in Forks, but the fact that we were from the same town seemed to have a very bonding effect as soon as we left it! Through me, they'd seen a fair amount each other and had begun to get on well. Neither of them had changed much since starting college, which I found very reassuring. They represented constancy in an unstable new environment.

Kristy was still very cheerful and slightly overweight, in spite of her persistent dieting. I couldn't see why she bothered; she was so pretty that she didn't need to change anything. At least I had managed to talk her out of dying her wavy hair from its natural brown, to blonde.

Oliver was his usual self; his face was still round, and his expression still amiable. I was pleased to know that his short, sandy hair was in no danger of being dyed. And I don't think that it would have ever occurred to him to go on a diet.

During lunch I started to grumble about the fact that I was going to be stuck alone with Professor Leary for the whole evening. They were both extremely vocal on the subject.

"What a sleaze-bag. You should report him for harassment," Kristy suggested enthusiastically.

"On what grounds?" I frowned. "Asking me to help him with some paperwork?"

"Maybe you should tell Jacob about it, he could pay Professor Leary a visit." She threw me a meaningful look. "After all, what's the point of having a boyfriend who's built like a tank, if you can't use him to threaten your teachers?"

This suggestion had me rolling my eyes with exasperation. I couldn't think of anything more insane than telling Jacob about Professor Leary. I didn't want the man killed and Jake to spend the rest of his life in jail. Strangely enough, Oliver seemed to have a better understanding of this, because he said.

"I'm not sure it would be a good idea to involve Jacob." His chubby face looked concerned. "It would be like cracking an egg with a wrecking ball. Nessie wouldn't want Jake arrested."

"Exactly!" I agreed.

"So what are you going to do? Are you really going to sit in his office all evening, just waiting for him to pounce?"

"Well, what's my other option?" I shrugged. "Anyway, I don't think he's actually going to try anything; he has his career to think about. He'll probably just _stare_ at me – the way he usually does."

"Well I think it's a disgusting abuse of position," said Oliver in an outraged tone. "It shouldn't be allowed."

"Yeah," chipped in Kristy, with a cheery smile. "When are men going to stop looking up Nessie's skirt?"

I don't know who went a deeper shade of red, Oliver or me.

In spite of all their persuasions, I still found myself entering Professor Leary's office at six o'clock. He had laid out seventeen thick piles of notes on his desk. Our job was to divide these up and put them into neat folders, ready to be handed out the next day. Taking one look at this mountain of paper, I gave an internal groan. We were going to be here all night, which I could only assume was his aim.

"Ah Miss Cullen," he smirked, as I reluctantly shuffled into the room. "I'm glad you're here. Please, take a seat."

"Err… ok."

I noticed how he had strategically placed the chairs right next to each other. They were both empty, he was still standing behind the desk, sorting through the empty folders. I chose the chair nearest the exit and sat down, nervously. Professor Leary began to explain how to put the notes together, and I attempted to ignore the way he eyed me when he finished.

This was going to be a long evening…

"Professor…" I started to ask a question, but he cut me short, glancing across the desk and saying in a velvety voice.

"You don't have to call me professor now, Nessie. We're not in class. My friends call me Gene…"

I'm not sure if I've _ever_ felt as blank as I did at that moment. I completely lost my train of thought.

"Um…"

_Think Nessie, think!_

There was a knock at the door. Professor Leary frowned and called out. "Come in."

To my utter amazement, _Oliver_ peered around the door! Professor Leary threw him an unfriendly look. Oliver was wearing an unusually determined expression as he said.

"I'm sorry I'm late, professor."

"Can I help you?" Professor Leary looked confused; he didn't know Oliver from Adam.

"Didn't Miss Cullen tell you? I've come to help with the folders," Oliver replied innocently. "She said there was a lot to do and I offered her my assistance, sir."

He caught my eye and I immediately agreed with him. "Yes, that's right. I was about to say, professor, Oliver thought we could get everything done much more quickly with some extra help."

Professor Leary tried to sound affable. "Thank you, young man, but I don't think you need to waste your evening helping us."

Refusing to be deterred, Oliver came into the room and resolutely sat down on the empty chair, next to me. "Honestly, professor. I don't mind. I've got nothing else to do."

Then, before Professor Leary had a chance to say anything, I handed Oliver the hole-punch and started to explain the correct note-sorting procedure. The upshot of Oliver's intervention was that Professor Leary had to go and fetch another chair, and spend the next two hours sitting on the other side of the desk, looking decidedly peeved.

I, on the other hand, had a much more enjoyable evening than I'd been anticipating. While we assembled the folders, Oliver and I chatted about Dungeons and Dragons. After we had exhausted the topic of whether or not it was better to play a wizard or a warlock, we moved on to discuss gaming tactics at length. By the time we had finished Professor Leary's eyes were starting to glaze.

As soon as we escaped from his office, Oliver walked me back across the campus to my building. I thanked him repeatedly for his help. He just smiled modestly and said it was nothing.

"Maybe now, he'll leave you alone," he said, looking hopeful.

"Next time you choose a character, Oliver, I hope you get high points for intelligence, you deserve them."

He flushed pink at my extravagant compliment.

The next day in class, it seemed as if Professor Leary had finally changed his attitude towards me. His manner had transformed from overly familiar to pointedly formal; I would have said that it was verging on frosty. When he handed out the folders, he didn't bother to mention that I had helped him prepare them, and at the end of the class he made no attempt to trap me in conversation.

I breathed a sigh of relief; it looked as if all my worries were over. Unfortunately – as I discovered the next time he graded one of my essays – I was wrong.

He handed me my work and something in his expression made me feel slightly uneasy. I reached for the paper and caught sight of my grade.

'A'(-)

I did a double take.

'A' _minus…!_

I had never received a 'minus' before.

Not in _this _class… not in _any_ class… _not EVER!_

What on earth was _happening?_ I glanced up at Professor Leary in disbelief. He was watching my reaction and as I caught the spiteful look in his eyes, I realised that he'd found the perfect way to punish me. It was probably lucky that I was too shocked to feel angry, I'm not sure if my classmates were ready to watch me dismember our professor.

On seeing my expression, he gave a smug smile. "Is anything the matter, Miss Cullen?"

It would have been better to say nothing, but somehow I couldn't. "I don't understand my grade, professor."

This gave him the perfect opportunity to humiliate me. He looked down and said mockingly. "I'm sorry Miss_ Cullen_," – he was really playing to his audience – "I didn't realise that you _expected_ to receive straight 'A's, I'll remember that the next time I grade one of your essays."

I heard a couple of my classmates snicker and I blushed with mortification.

From that point on, my work was consistently given lower grades than it deserved – but never so low, that I could easily make a formal complaint – and Professor Leary would usually add a few snide comments in the margins, just to add insult to injury.

I wished that there was something I could do, but I had no idea what it should be. Thanks to Oliver's intervention, Professor Leary had stopped pestering me with his unwanted attentions. But there was no answer to his revenge. I didn't want to seem like some helpless little kid by demanding assistance from my family, so I just had to put up with it.

I very consciously avoided telling Jacob about my difficulties with my teacher. Not only because Jake would be bound to overreact, but also because when this was happening he had other, far more pressing, problems to deal with. These problems were wolf shaped, and seemed to demand a vast amount of his time and energy.

Although my parents and I had been living in Forks throughout my senior year, there hadn't been any new pack members for a long time. This was in spite of the fact that there were a number of very likely young candidates.

Unfortunately, in October – after my parents had left Washington – a coven of three nomadic vampires travelled through the peninsula. By all accounts they were young and vicious, and their presence resulted in a spate of new wolves. Unsurprisingly, Jacob didn't tell me much about the vampires; he just said that the problem had been 'solved.'

But, of course, the new wolves remained. Both Jake and Sam's packs were extended, which meant an increased burden responsibility for the two Alphas. Sam definitely drew the short straw with some of his young additions. Jake acknowledged that he had lucked out. Among others, he had got Steve who, as well as being his new apprentice at the garage, was a really nice guy.

Sam had got the identical twins, Laird and Jamie Hunter. When Jacob phoned me with the news, I could tell that he felt guilty for being so relieved.

"I was really worried when I saw how fast those two were growing, so was Sam. We were both pretty sure that they would phase. I was like, '_please_ God… don't dump them on me.' But now I feel really bad for Sam; he'll never have a moment's peace."

Jacob's prediction wasn't far off. Laird and Jamie were a pair of seventeen year old trouble-makers. Their dad had left years ago, and their mom had just about given up trying to control them. They were good-looking boys with a reputation for fighting, chasing girls and general disruptive behaviour. Sharing a pack mind with them was already proving to be uphill work for Sam's pack.

Within the first week of phasing, Laird had sparked a fight between all the younger members of _both_ packs. I never heard the full details, but it was something to do with somebody's sister. Anyway, the older guys had had to step in, and Sam and Jake were forced to lay down some Alpha orders. Jake said that if he'd been Sam; he would have ordered the twins never to open their big mouths again.

Sam said that he hoped they would imprint soon and then they might calm down, as long as neither of them imprinted on his thirteen year old daughter, Jennifer. Most people believed that Seth's delayed imprinting was an absolute one-off – there were certainly no stories of it happening to anyone else in the whole history of the tribe – but Sam had been left with a lasting fear that he could still be lumped with Laird, or Jamie, as a son-in-law.

The twins saw Jennifer nearly every day and nothing had happened, but everyone knew that until they had safely imprinted on some other girls, Sam would be in a state of constant anxiety.

Although none of Jake's new pack members were as unruly as the twins, they still came with all the usual difficulties which attended newly phasing wolves; the mood swings, the unpredictable phasing and the need for _constant_ supervision and guidance.

It was typical that just when things had been settling down, and a few of the older pack members were seriously considering trying to stop phasing, the new wolves appeared and put an end to that idea. The older guys were needed to give support to the younger ones. It would be a while before any of them could quit.

And as an Alpha, Jake was well and truly bound to La Push. This was one of the main reasons why I usually drove home at the weekends, rather than pressuring him to visit me. Although he would occasionally stay in Seattle, he really couldn't be away from the reservation for long, especially in the volatile months just after the young pack members had first phased.

It had been a miracle that he'd agreed to fly to New Hampshire for Christmas week. Thankfully, nothing untoward had happened in his absence – there were plenty of older guys keeping an eye on things – and it seemed that now the young wolves were _finally_ settling down.

As I drove back to Seattle, and considered all the events of the previous term, I found myself hoping that things _this_ term would go slightly more smoothly. Perhaps Professor Leary would forget that he didn't like me and start grading me fairly. And maybe I could convince Jacob to leave the pack for a long enough to go on a romantic vacation.

There was no harm in hoping...

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><p><strong>Author's Notes:<strong>

**Hi there, I just wanted to say a quick thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter (or added the story to their lists). I am always extremely happy to read your messages, and a big thanks to Emy and Joanna, because I can't PM you. I do really appreciate your reviews :)**

**I've posted this chapter a day early, because I didn't think I'd get much chance over the weekend. I may well take a little break from posting over the Christmas holiday (it depends on how much time I have for editing chapters) but whatever happens, I will post again in the New Year, and the next chapters will be moving on with the story. Nessie will start planning her vacation, and a visitor will arrive in Forks…**

**Anyway, whatever happens, I hope you all have a really wonderful Christmas and New Year, thank you for reading,**

**Love, Mad :)**


	17. Nessie, persuasion

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you to willowbae for her amazing beta-ing, and for brightening my weeks with her entertaining emails :)<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 17.<strong>

**Nessie – persuasion**

I wanted to ask Jake to go on vacation with me, but I wasn't sure how to broach the subject. I knew that I might have to be a _little_ bit crafty; otherwise he would get wise to my plan – which would pretty much ensure its failure.

Of course it would be the easiest thing in the world to _tell _him to take me away – because of the imprinting, he found it nearly impossible to refuse me anything – but that was a line which I had no intention of crossing.

When I was three years old, Billy spent a week in hospital. He was in pretty bad shape and Jake ended up spending a lot of time at the hospital too. He still came to see me, but one evening my mom told me that Jake couldn't come over to watch TV with me, because his dad needed him more.

I was sulky and upset, so I called Jacob and _demanded_ that he leave the hospital and come to visit me anyway. My dad was away hunting, so no one knew what I had done until Jake turned up on the doorstep. My mother was absolutely horrified and made me send him straight back to Billy.

It was one of the only times that she had ever been really angry with me. But even worse than her anger, was her shame. She was mortified that I could be so selfish. She told me that it was a terrible abuse of power to make Jake do something that he didn't want to, just because I could.

After she explained how inexcusable my behaviour had been, I was overwhelmed with guilt. I could still remember how awful I felt when I tearfully apologised to Jake. Of course he told me that he didn't mind, but I never forgot that painful lesson. I still couldn't look back on that particular episode without feeling very ashamed.

Ever since that time – although I did frequently use my powers of persuasion on Jake – I tried not to ruthlessly exploit the imprinting. So when it came to my vacation scheme, it was important that he agreed to it freely, rather than just obeying 'imprint's orders'.

I didn't mention my idea to Jacob until a couple of weeks after returning from New Hampshire; I needed a little time to build up to it. After some delay, I decided that I couldn't put it off any longer. I was going to spend my Saturday with Jake at La Push, and thought that it could be an opportune moment to speak to him. I really wanted this.

The choice of destination was important. Much as I would have liked to visit some tropical paradise, I knew that it would be a bad idea to choose somewhere too obviously romantic. I didn't want Jake – or my family – to become suspicious of my motives. I needed to choose somewhere that sounded wholesome and outdoorsy, with plenty of bracing fresh air and _no _hot sultry nights.

So in the end I decided that he should take me surfing at Mavericks. In some ways, it was a selfish choice – Jake didn't surf those kinds of waves – but I was sure that he would be happy to relax while I was catching the waves. He'd been so busy recently that he needed a break and we'd still have plenty of time together when I wasn't surfing. I would make sure of _that_.

But best of all, it was far away from my family, his family, and the pack. I was sure that we could have a great time, just the two of us.

I knew that I was being a little unfair, but I was prepared to manipulate Jake's guilty conscience to get what I wanted. This was another reason for choosing Mavericks. Jake had refused to take me surfing in Hawaii the previous year and unwittingly triggered a serious rift between us. It was completely my fault, but he still felt bad about it. I thought that if I expressed a desire to surf Mavericks then he would be in a weak position to deny me.

So when I turned up at his house on the Saturday afternoon, I was fully prepared for battle. By a stroke of good luck, Billy was visiting his grandchildren at Rachel's house, which meant that I had Jacob all to myself. I needed his full attention if my plan was going to work.

We spent half an hour lying on the couch, making out, before I mentioned the vacation. I wanted him to be in as good a mood as possible before I sprung the suggestion.

"Jake…" I wheedled, as he lowered his head and nuzzled my jaw. "I was wondering about something…"

He pulled himself up and rested on his elbows, looking down at me. "What's that?"

"We have a study week at the end of next month, to give us time to prepare for our exams," I explained, gazing up at him with wide eyes. "But I'm already ahead with my work, so I thought that I might drive to California and surf Mavericks instead."

After dropping the idea on him, I decided to play it cool. Snaking my arms around his neck, I pulled him back down. I softly brushed my mouth against his, but I could feel that he was distracted. Pretending not to notice, I drew him closer. Jake allowed his lips to move with mine for a minute, before he pulled away with a thoughtful expression.

"You want to go _alone_, to Half Moon Bay, for a week?"

"Uh huh," I answered absently, while gently nibbling the velvet skin of his throat. He frowned and sat up abruptly, leaving me lying on the couch.

"That doesn't sound like a very good idea," was his sudden comment.

It was part of my cunning strategy to suggest going on my own. I knew he wouldn't like it one bit; I wanted him to offer to accompany me. So I sat up and asked innocently.

"Why not?"

Jacob threw me a disapproving look. "Nessie, you're only seventeen, you shouldn't be driving through three states by yourself."

I dismissed his anxieties with a deliberate lack of concern. "Come on, what could possibly happen? I'm a half-vampire, aren't I the most dangerous thing out there?"

He took the bait and frowned. "That's not funny. You know what's out there and it's a lot scarier than you!"

"I'm not worried about that," I said, with a defiant toss of my hair. "Vampires always love me."

I was laying it on a bit thick – he couldn't possibly believe that I thought this – so I was amazed when his expression became very serious.

"Vampires may like you, Nessie, but there are still plenty of things that don't."

I hadn't been thinking about the real werewolf, but his words were a sharp reminder of that horrendous experience, and I flinched. I suddenly felt guilty for trying to manipulate him, I shouldn't have made light of the danger by attempting this stupid plan. Instantly contrite, I stood up from the couch and gave him an apologetic look.

"You're right, I'm sorry I brought it up."

Jake caught hold of my wrist; I could see the worry in his dark eyes. "Where are you going?"

I smiled lightly. "I just wanted a drink, can I fetch you something too?"

"I upset you." His eyes never left my face.

"No, you didn't. It was my bad, I wasn't thinking straight."

I slipped my arm out of his grasp and went into the tiny kitchen. I was pouring myself a glass of water when he entered the room. I glanced over to him as he leaned against the refrigerator.

"Do you want some water?"

"No thanks." He came to me and placed his hands on my waist. As I looked up, he gazed questioningly into my eyes. "Have you dropped the idea?"

I nodded. "Sure. I mean there will be other chances, right?"

"It's not like you to change your mind when you want something," he said uneasily. "Why did you?"

I shrugged, gently putting down my glass. "I don't really know. I guess thinking about the werewolf made me realise that you had a point."

Jake caught his breath. "I didn't mean to frighten you, honey."

I smiled at him. "Don't worry about it; you were just trying to look out for me." I stood up on my tiptoes and kissed his cheek. "Thanks. You know I appreciate it."

I turned to go back into the living room, but Jacob didn't let go of me. He was looking guilty and I decided to come clean.

"Jake, you needn't feel bad. I wasn't _really_ planning to go to California on my own; I only said that to persuade you come too. I'm sorry."

I felt a little shamefaced, but he surprised me by exclaiming. "I know that! But I was wrong to try and scare you off the idea. Especially as I know how long it took you to get over what happened before…"

Jacob had no idea of how much it _still_ frightened me. I had never spoken about my regular nightmares; he didn't need the extra worry. Giving him a hug, I rested my cheek against his chest and breathed in. I loved his scent; it was very comforting.

"It's ok. I don't want to think about it anymore. Please, just forget I mentioned it."

He was very quiet for a moment, before he said determinedly. "I'll come with you."

My eyes few to his face and I exclaimed. "Don't be silly, you don't have to do that."

"I want to. It would be nice to have some time alone with you." He lifted my chin and kissed me. "Besides, I need a vacation."

I flung my arms around his neck. "Do you really mean it?"

"Sure I do." He gave a rueful smile. "Anyway, I've owed you a trip for a long time."

"Thank you."

I kissed him with real gratitude and squeezed him tightly. I couldn't believe it; somehow my plan was working!

At that moment, Embry and Quil appeared at the front door, which put an end to the conversation – and the romantic mood – but for once, I didn't mind. I was going to get Jake to myself for a whole week, I was too happy to care about yet _another_ interruption by his pack.

As soon as I was back at college, I started to make proper arrangements for the trip. I found myself trawling the Internet for the nicest hotel that I could find. At least there seemed to be a wide range of choice. I also looked at plane tickets, because I had never had any serious intention of making such a long drive.

Getting Jacob to agree to the vacation had only been the first part of my scheme. My next quandary was how to manoeuvre myself into the same room as him. I realised that this might be tricky, as I'd already told Jake that we would be in separate rooms.

Firstly, because if I hadn't, he might have refused to go away with me; and secondly, because there was always a chance that my parents could make a surprise visit and find out what I was planning. I wanted to ensure that, if that happened, Jake would be seen as an innocent victim of my nefarious schemes and be held entirely blameless. So I was forced to take the roundabout route.

I considered the idea of booking a double room and then pretending that the hotel had made a mistake, but after some consideration, I decided against this plan. I didn't want to tell Jake a flagrant lie, and it occurred to me that he might make a scene and demand that the hotel fix the error, which would be unfair to them and could result in the embarrassing exposure of my deception.

In the end, I scrapped _that_ idea and decided to book two rooms, and then pull the old, 'I had a bad dream, and I don't want to be alone,' routine. Ok, it wasn't the most original move, but there was _no way_ that Jake would tell me to stop whining and go back to bed.

I felt a tiny twinge of guilt, to know that I was planning on using his compassion against him, but then I realised that I was actually doing Jacob a favour. He loved me and he wanted me. If I carried out my plan successfully, he could get to be with me and I would take all the blame. That was ok by me. I knew that everyone would forgive me far more quickly than they would him.

So I happily went ahead and booked everything, and by the time I headed back to Forks on the following Friday, I was ready to report that all the arrangements had been made for our trip. In a few short weeks we would be in California!

* * *

><p><strong><span>Author's notes:<span>**

**Hi there, I'm back from my little break, and feeling refreshed and ready for the New Year (I wonder how long that will last!)**

**Thank you to all the people who reviewed over Christmas and the New Year, you certainly brightened my holidays :) And I hope that everyone had a really nice Christmas and New Year too :)**

**Please keep reviewing, I really do appreciate them, **

**have a really great week, ****Mad :)**


	18. Nessie, the visitor

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

* * *

><p><strong>A really big thank you to willowbae, the best beta in the world :) <strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 18.<strong>

**Nessie – the visitor**

I arrived back in Forks on Friday afternoon. My class timetable on Friday was a mixed blessing. The _bad_ part was that I had a lesson with Professor Leary in the morning – yuk! But the _good_ part was that I had no lessons in the afternoon – yippee!

I would usually leave Seattle by lunchtime and drive home to Grandpa's house. This allowed me to have a slightly longer weekend with Jake, which did make the separation during the week easier to handle.

On that particular Friday, I had agreed to drop by the big house, before heading to Grandpa's. Grandma Esme had asked me to air the rooms and run the heating, because she didn't want it getting damp. I had also promised Mom that I would check on the cottage as well. I had a few other things planned for the weekend – the most important of which was a dinner at Sam and Emily's house on Saturday night – so I wanted to get this boring job over and done with straight away, to free up the rest of my time.

A heavy wind was blowing in from the west, giving a damp maritime feel to the air. All the hills were hidden in a thick mist, and as I glanced through my windshield at the overcast sky, I had no doubt that there would be rain within the hour.

I'd told Jake that I would meet him at the garage when I was done. I would have preferred to see him first, but I knew that if I did, I wouldn't bother going out to the big house at all. I had missed him like crazy all week, but what was new in that? I could say for sure, that the house was going to have a really quick airing!

The rain started to fall in earnest as I turned into the long drive. To be honest, I never really liked coming to the big house alone. There was something slightly depressing about the place being empty, and it invariably made me miss my family. I sighed and pulled up outside. The weather wasn't helping; everything looked sodden and miserable in the overgrown garden.

Grabbing my purse, I climbed out of the car and jogged to the front door, trying to avoid the puddles. I stood in the sopping wet, searching for my keys in my purse. It turned out that I had put them in my pocket. Eventually, I got inside, but _then _I had to fumble about with the security system. It probably would have been easier to break into the Federal Reserve Bank than our house.

The front door was standing open and a particularly strong gust of wind blustered through it. I froze when I caught the scent that it carried.

There was a vampire nearby.

And they were a complete stranger to me.

With one swift movement, I slammed and locked the heavy door. Glancing around the room I tasted the air. It was stale and undisturbed; I gave a sigh of relief. Thank God! At least I was alone in the house and the metal shutters were down.

I had no idea of what to do. I knew plenty of other vampires and got on well with all of them – apart from the Volturi – but I had always met them under the protection of my family. I had _never _met an unknown vampire by myself. If they were hostile there was no coven for me to hide behind, and I knew that I could never hope to win in a fight against a full vampire.

It didn't help that my mind suddenly decided to unearth memories of my ordeal with the real werewolf. For a moment I was so paralysed by panic that I couldn't even move. I started to shake and my heart raced, as images of sharp teeth flew through my mind. But, as soon as I remembered running from the monster, a vision of Jake, racing out of the forest, also came to me.

_Jake!_

With a trembling hand, I pulled my phone from my purse. Jake would know what to do. I hit his number on speed dial.

_Please pick up... _

All the time my heart hummed at super speed. The phone just rang and rang and then switched onto voicemail. I had no idea of what message to leave, so I hung up in despair. What was he doing? I was stuck in a house at the mercy of a strange vampire, and Jake was probably absorbed with a gearbox! I could have wept…

Taking several heaving breaths, I tried to talk some sense into myself. After all, Jacob did have other things to do, apart from babysitting me. Nothing bad had happened – yet. Added to which, no vampire in my experience had found me particularly appetising. I just needed to calm down and think.

I hurried to the window and cautiously peeked out. There was no one in sight and my car was temptingly close. Ok, so any vampire could outrun my Audi, but would they really bother to chase me down? Whatever the case, it couldn't be sensible to just sit in the house and wait for the stranger to come knocking. Yes, getting the hell out of here was definitely the better option.

I quietly set the house alarm and gave myself a mental countdown. Three… two… one… I was out of the door and flying through the rain, towards my car. I almost had the door open, when I heard a ringing cry.

"Wait! _Please!_"

My head snapped round in fright, towards the direction of the voice. Across the lawn I saw the slender figure of an approaching girl. She was moving slowly and her hands were raised in surrender. I lingered where I stood, still wondering if I should make a break for it. She was clearly trying to convince me that she wasn't hostile, but I knew that it could always be a trick.

She was getting closer and I was still undecided. But then I saw her face clearly, and I caught my breath. Her eyes… they were _amber!_ I was so overwrought that my relief unbalanced me and, to my surprise, I instantly burst into tears. The strange girl stopped in her tracks and watched me nervously.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to startle you!" Her voice was sweet and low. By vampire standards, it was almost husky.

Unfortunately, I was unable to stop weeping. I just clamped my hand over my mouth, in a futile attempt to fight back the sobs. I couldn't believe that I was behaving like a crybaby in front of this stranger. Thank goodness none of the family was there; they would have been ashamed of me.

After a moment, she tried again. "Seriously, is there something I can do?"

She said this with such kindly concern that I had to laugh; she was so different from what I had feared. It was a shame that the combination of laughter and tears made me seem slightly hysterical. I managed to choke out the words.

"No… no… I'm… f… fine."

She took another step towards me and gave a wry smile. "You don't really seem it. But I guess you'd know, huh?"

I sniffed and nodded. "Sure. I'm always like this."

Now that I was starting to calm down, I had a proper chance to appraise the girl. She looked about twenty, and was dressed in a worn pair of pants and a tank top, with a pair of sturdy boots on her feet. As I gazed at her, I realised that she was one of the most beautiful vampires that I had ever seen; but not in the way that I was used to. This girl was less cultivated and glamorous than someone like Aunt Rose; she looked wilder.

Her long wavy hair was the colour of golden honey, flecked with blonde, and it swept around her oval face and down over her shoulders in a luxurious mane. Her features were noticeably straight and pretty; but what gave her face character were her dark well-defined eyebrows.

Again, in her graceful movements and strong shoulders, I could already see a greater degree of physicality than any of the women in my family displayed, a raw athleticism, which reminded me more of Uncle Jasper or Uncle Emmett. She was tall too – around five foot nine.

The only blemishes to her otherwise flawless appearance were a number of faint bite-marks visible on her arms and shoulders. She looked as if she had the potential to be very dangerous. I would have been afraid, but for her eyes…

It must have been true; things really did come in threes. How else could I explain the fact that, after seventeen years of _never _encountering a single new vegetarian, she was the third I had met within the space of a few weeks? Was this the new vampire craze?

It suddenly struck me, that she was watching me with the same scrutiny as I was giving her. As our eyes met, she raised her beautiful eyebrows. Feeling embarrassed, I quickly looked away and that was when I heard a low chuckle. I glanced back in surprise and caught the full force of her smile.

At that moment, I saw the light that only shone from a few people in my life; the one which told me that I had met a kindred spirit. There was no way that I wasn't going to be friends with this girl. Before I knew it, I was breathing a sigh of relief and returning her smile with a small one of my own.

"I'm sorry for being so silly, I just wasn't expecting any visitors," I explained apologetically.

"It's my fault, I was a jerk. I shouldn't have been hiding when you arrived." She smiled ruefully. "I guess old habits die hard."

"I don't blame you, sometimes it's hard to know what to expect."

"You're right there." The matter-of-fact way in which she nodded, told me that this girl was no stranger to hardship.

I glanced at her shyly. "So, out of interest, why are you here?"

She swept back the thick waves of her hair, and smiled. "I heard about a strange family, with eyes like my own, and I wanted to know whether or not they were just an urban myth."

I wondered who she'd been speaking to.

"I can see that one part of the story was true," she continued speculatively. "You must be the half-vampire child that I was told about. I didn't really believe it at the time…"

I started in surprise. "How did you hear about me?"

"Things get around." She seemed reluctant to elaborate. "You know how it is."

There was no denying that the world was full of gossips, apparently vampires were no exception. I shrugged in resignation; I would always be a talking point – the freak amongst freaks.

She gave me a sympathetic smile, almost as if she could understand how I felt, and then asked. "Does the yellow-eyed family exist too?"

"Yes they do. But they're not here right now. They're in New Hampshire."

Ordinarily I would have been more cautious about giving a stranger this information, but my instincts told me that I could trust her.

"Oh." Her face fell in disappointment. "I was worried when I arrived. I found the house, but the scents were old and there were no trails left to follow. I wasn't sure what to do, so I just waited and hoped that someone would show up." She smiled at me cheerfully. "Not such a bad plan after all."

I nodded. "You were lucky. I don't come here very often. I normally stay in town, with my grandpa, when the family is away."

"Your grandpa?" She sounded surprised.

"My mom's father, he's human," I explained.

She gazed at me wistfully. "That's nice."

It was a novelty for me to meet a vampire who envied me my grandpa. I didn't know quite what to say, but fortunately her attention had already been diverted. Her eyes wandered to the house and then across the lawn.

"It's a beautiful place; I hope you don't mind me camping here."

"No, of course not; my family would want you to feel welcome." At that point I remembered my manners. "Why don't you come into the house and make yourself at home?"

She seemed unsure. "I wouldn't want to impose. You might have plans."

We sounded so much like a couple of elderly ladies that I had to laugh. "No really, it's fine. Come on in."

I started walking back to the house and she hovered for a moment, before grinning and following me to the front door. As I opened the door, I remembered to introduce myself.

"I'm Nessie Cullen, by the way."

She smiled back at me. "It's good to meet you Nessie, I'm Katherine Lewis."

I was surprised that she had used her last name; most vampires didn't bother to keep their full names. She had this in common with my family, but I decided not to pass comment. I just went into the house and held the door open for her to follow me.

"Wow, this is fancy!" She exclaimed, wiping her feet on the mat. "Most of us don't live this way."

"That's the benefit of the vegetarian diet; my family doesn't have to move around all the time," I said, pressing the alarm code.

"Where have I been going wrong all these years?" Katherine shook her head and laughed as she followed me into the living room.

"How many?" I was curious to know how long she'd been a vegetarian.

"Over fifty, so I guess I've got no excuse," she admitted sheepishly.

Fifty years! I suddenly felt even more inquisitive. "How old are you?"

"I must confess; I was an original flower child. I was changed in '68, right after I graduated college." She gave a proud smile, but then added pensively. "I guess now I'm just an old woman."

I was distracted by her reference to college. "Oh, I'm in college right now," I said enthusiastically. "What was your degree?"

There was an edge of bitterness to her voice. "Does it matter?"

Realising that this was probably not a very appropriate line of questioning, I apologised quickly; I hadn't meant to upset her. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry."

"Don't worry, you didn't." She shrugged, speaking lightly. "It's just; I'm not that person anymore. So there's really no point talking about it."

"I suppose not."

I thought that it might not be the time to mention how many times my family had been through University. I was offered a handy distraction from the subject by the sound of my ringing phone. I smiled at Katherine and gestured to the living room.

"Just make yourself at home. I'll only be a minute." I flicked open my phone. "Hello?"

Jake's husky voice came down the line. "Hey honey, it's me. Are you in Forks yet?"

"No, I'm still at the big house. I tried to call you…"

"I'm sorry, I was outside. What's up?" He sounded untroubled.

"Well I thought that there was an emergency. But luckily, I was wrong." I had to be cautious about how I broke the news of my visitor.

He still sounded fairly relaxed. "What kind of emergency?" He was probably picturing a broken heater.

"If I tell you, will you promise not to freak out?" Jacob did have a tendency to overreact when it came to vampires, and he had been extra touchy since the whole 'tracker' incident.

"What happened?"

"_Promise_ me," I insisted.

"Come on honey, stop messing around. You're worrying me now." He sounded anxious, so I decided to put him out of his misery.

"There was a _visitor_ waiting at the house when I arrived," I said quietly.

Jake was silent for a moment, before asking calmly. "Are you talking about a vampire?"

"Yes."

"Who was it?"

I was relieved that he didn't sound upset. "Her name's Katherine."

"I don't recognise the name. When was she last here?" He seemed confused, so I enlightened him.

"Oh, you wouldn't. She's a complete stranger." I answered naively.

"_What!_" He exclaimed, suddenly sounding _really _upset. "Where is she now?"

"She's in the living room." I wasn't going to leave Katherine standing outside in the rain. What would Grandma Esme say?

"_For the love of God, Nessie!_ You're not alone in the house with her, are you?"

"Don't worry," I reassured him. "She's a vegetarian!"

"It wouldn't matter if she lived off spring greens. You shouldn't have let her in the house," he snapped.

"Shhh… she can hear everything you're saying." I wished he would calm down.

"I don't care. I want you to leave. Now."

Glancing into the living room, I saw Katherine sitting on the couch with her back to me, politely pretending not to hear this embarrassing conversation.

"I can't do that, it would be rude."

"This isn't funny, Nessie. _Please_ get out of there."

I knew he was wrong, so I dug my heels in. "No, I won't. You're overreacting, everything's fine."

"Right." His voice was grim. "I'm coming over!"

"If you're going to be like that, I'd rather you didn't," I said angrily. He was being so interfering.

Jacob ignored my irritation. "I'm on my way." And he hung up the phone!

_Crap!_

I could see a potentially unpleasant scene brewing. I slowly turned to Katherine, who was watching me with a serious expression.

She frowned. "Is there a problem?"

"Um… that was my boyfriend. I should warn you, he's on his way over," I said anxiously.

She raised her dark eyebrows, and I really shouldn't have felt so surprised when she asked. "Is he a vampire?"

"No." I shook my head vehemently at this suggestion and then looked awkward.

Katherine frowned in confusion. She was clearly trying to understand where the danger lay. "I'm sorry, I don't understand… is he _human?_"

"Well, sort of..."

I wasn't quite sure how to proceed. I didn't like to discuss the pack with a stranger, but I had taken to this girl and wanted to give her some warning about the wolves. At the very least she should be told to steer clear of their land. And as one of them would be appearing on the doorstep at any moment, I felt as if I had no choice but to say something.

"You see, the thing is…"

By the time I heard Jake pull up outside, Katherine had been given a brief, but colourful, explanation of the mythological balance in the Olympic Peninsula. She took it all in her stride; it transpired that she had encountered some shape shifters in Malaysia – apparently this tribe transformed into macaque monkeys – but, unfortunately, we didn't have time to discuss it in depth.

I rose from the couch. "Just wait here, I need to talk to Jake."

"Listen, I don't want to cause any trouble." She looked at me with concern. "If things get difficult, I'd be happy to leave."

"I don't want you to go. Give me a chance," I replied, opening the front door.

I was outside a moment later, as Jake climbed out of his car. I was very relieved that he hadn't just charged over in wolf form. My heart leapt at the sight of him, I had missed him so much. I ran towards him eagerly, but he caught hold of my wrists before I had a chance to hug him. His face was unusually stern as he met my gaze.

"Where is she?"

I pulled away angrily. "She's in the house."

"Right." He brushed past me and started walking towards the front door.

"Wait," I cried. He ignored me, so I ran after him and grabbed his arm. "Please Jake, let me explain." I couldn't stand the hard look on Jacob's face as he turned to me, and I felt hot tears spring to my eyes. I held his arm and sent him a silent message.

_Please don't._

He glared down with a severe expression, but as his eyes met mine they lost that awful cold look.

I continued pleading. _Don't Jake… I like her…_

"Nessie…" Jacob lifted his hand to gently stroke my cheek. But, before he knew it, I had cast myself into his arms. He didn't seem to mind, he just hugged me tightly. "Hey, it's ok. Don't cry… I'm not going to do anything. I just want to meet her."

Pressing my damp cheek against his shirt, I reached up to touch his face. _You promise?_

"Sure, I promise." He dropped a kiss onto my hair. "Now calm down and introduce me to your visitor."

I sniffed loudly and nodded. _Ok._

Jake took my hand and shook his head. "And you think that _I_ overreact!"

* * *

><p><strong><span>Author's notes:<span>**

**Hi there, I just have to say a really big thank you to everyone who reviewed last week, or added this story to their lists. I really, really appreciate it (also I had an anonymous review that was really nice, so thank you very much). Please keep reviewing :)**

**I also wanted to mention that yesterday I started posting a brand new story called _'The Black Pirate'_. **

**It is an AH/AU, Nessie/Jake, Twipirate, swashbuckling love story. (When Lady Renesmee de Cullen's ship is attacked by buccaneers, led by the infamous Black Pirate, she suddenly finds herself thrown into a dangerous world of romance and adventure). **

**Admittedly, this is a _slight_ departure from my usual canon stories, but it is a lot of fun to write (what can I say, I've spent too many years reading historical romances). So if you're interested, or just want to be nice, you can find it on my profile page :)**

**Have a really great week,**

**Mad :)**


	19. Nessie, an invitation

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you to willowbae for all her help, and loyal and supportive beta-ing :)<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 19.<strong>

**Nessie – an invitation**

Jake led me into the house and we found Katherine standing in the hall waiting for us. She brushed her long hair over her shoulder, and gave a nervous smile. Whatever Jake had been expecting, I'm sure that she wasn't it. In fact, I would put down money that she was quite the opposite. She looked so uncomfortable that I felt guilty.

Squeezing Jacob's hand, I sent him a sarcastic. _Are you happy now?_

He threw me an exasperated look, but I could tell that he wasn't so confident in his hostility. They stood eyeing each other for a moment and I started to feel irritated with Jake; he was making the whole situation especially awkward. His body language could hardly have been more unfriendly. He had very conspicuously placed himself between Katherine and me.

I finally lost patience and sent him another message. _You could at least say something!_

Jake let go of my hand and crossed his arms, before glaring at Katherine. "Hi." He then threw me a look, as if to say '_there you go_.'

I sighed and turned to her. "Katherine, I want you to meet my _current _boyfriend, Jacob Black."

I put deliberate emphasis on the word 'current.' I wanted the love of my life to know that he was pushing it. I was glad to see him frown. _Good _– I thought – put _that_ in your pipe and smoke it!

I stepped past him and went to stand by my guest. "Jake, this is Katherine. She's come a long way to find my family, so I _hope_ you'll make her welcome."

Katherine glanced at me and gave a wry smile. "Come on, give the guy a break. He's doing his best."

This unexpected remark caught Jake's sense of humour and I saw him trying to smother a smile with a stern look. At that point, I stopped worrying; I knew that he was going to thaw out soon – despite his best efforts not to. I also realised that our situation wasn't going to get any less tense while we just stood around like idiots, so I turned to Katherine and said briskly.

"I promised Grandma Esme that I'd run the heating, so why don't you come with me while I check the boiler and the heaters, you can have a short tour of the house." I noticed Jake rolling his eyes, so I threw him a look. "You can come too… _if you like_."

He raised his eyebrows challengingly. "I wouldn't miss it."

So we went over the house, from top to bottom and into the boiler room. Something about tinkering with the thermostat seemed to break the ice. It turned out that Jake's presence was useful after all, because the boiler wasn't working properly, and he was the only one who had a clue of how to fix the stupid thing. Also he was stuck in the boiler room for half an hour with the tool box, so I had time to talk to Katherine, without him scowling at her.

We waited for him in the living room. I opened the shutters and we looked out onto the garden. Katherine sat next to me on the couch and I asked her about her plans.

"So what will you do now?"

She drew her dark brows together. "I'm not sure. I just wanted to get here. Now, who knows?"

"Do you have a home, or do you travel?"

She gave a cautious smile. "I'm a traveller at present; my home is currently pitched in your garden."

I nodded thoughtfully. "So, have you got anywhere else to go? Do you have any friends to visit?"

"Not at the moment." She shook her head. "I haven't been in the country for a long time. Most of my friends are abroad. But I'm used to travelling alone, it kind of goes with the territory. I have to move on – you know how it is." She then added bracingly. "But something will come up, it always does."

An idea occurred to me, and I was surprised that I hadn't thought of it before. "There are other vegetarian vampires out there; my family have cousins in Alaska. They live in Denali; they'd love to meet you."

"Do you think so?" She asked, with a sceptical smile.

"Of course," I answered confidently. Vegetarian vampires had to stick together; there was nothing else to say. "But I was hoping that you would visit here for a little while," I added with an impulsive burst of enthusiasm. "You could stay at the house, you know, enjoy the comforts of home, before you make the trip."

She looked surprised, but pleased, by my offer, but then her expression became wary. "I'm not sure that would be a good idea. What about your family? They don't know me." And then she added in a hushed tone. "And what about the wolves?"

"I can call my family to check with them. But as for the pack, you're not on Quileute land, so it's _none of their business_." I said this more for Jake's benefit than anything else; I knew he'd be listening from the boiler room.

Katherine threw me a thoughtful glance. "I'm sure he's only trying to protect you."

"Humph." I pulled a face.

She lifted an eyebrow. "Don't knock it."

I grabbed the phone to call my family. I spoke to Grandma Esme and explained the situation. She was very understanding and even had a short chat with Katherine. Grandma Esme suggested that it might be cosier for Katherine to stay in the cottage. She hurried off to ask my mother, who agreed straight away.

It was all decided before Jake had come back into the room, carrying the tool box. I could tell by his face, that he wasn't very impressed that I had invited this strange girl to stay. Refusing to be discouraged, I climbed off the couch and smiled at Katherine.

"I'd better take you to the cottage now. Grandpa is expecting me and I don't want him to worry."

"Ok, but I need to get my stuff," she nodded appreciatively. "It's still in your garden."

Jake wore a resigned expression, as I closed up the shutters and set the alarm. When I was done, we all crossed the lawn and headed towards the river. Jake walked between Katherine and me; he still didn't want to take any chances.

We hadn't gone far into the damp woods when we found Katherine's tiny tent, containing all her possessions. I suddenly felt bad that this girl had so little and was all alone. I knew it was easy to be an outsider if you were a vegetarian vampire, and not everyone was lucky enough to have a family like mine.

When he saw her small campsite, Jake looked surprised. "You have a tent?"

Katherine turned to him and nodded. "I may not need to rest, but it's the best way to keep my things dry. My creator taught me that." She gave a sudden grin. "He could be a scary son of a bitch, but he knew a lot about practical survival."

She knelt down and started to pack up, after a second I joined in, neatly folding away her things. Her reference to her creator made me curious. She seemed to be so alone; I couldn't help wondering why. I knew that humans were usually changed for a reason, and their creators would often want to keep them.

"Where's your creator now?"

"I don't know. I left him years ago." She shrugged and flicked a wave of hair out of her eyes.

I glanced at her, as she folded the tent. "Why did you leave?"

"I didn't want to live with a murderer; I didn't want to be like _him_."

As she spoke a grim look came into her eyes. I knew that I was prying, but I was so interested that I couldn't resist asking.

"Did he mind, when you went away?"

She gave a short laugh. "I don't know, I never asked his permission. He was off on one of his killing sprees and I was gone before he came back."

Jacob was standing nearby, watching us, and I could tell that he was more interested in the conversation than he wanted to admit. Fastening the backpack, I said casually.

"He must have been surprised when you walked out."

"Maybe a little." She frowned at the memory. "But I don't think he gave a damn about losing me, he was probably relieved; he preferred to travel alone."

My eyes flew to her face. "Then why did he change you?"

Creating a vampire was supposedly very difficult, because it took so much self-control. No vampire would turn someone without good reason. The only thing that had made my dad change my mom had been her imminent death. This was true for most of my family; they'd all been dying when Grandpa Carlisle had stepped in. I'd assumed that Katherine's creator had at least wanted her company.

"I don't think he really thought it through." She shrugged dismissively. "He never bothered to give me a proper explanation. I'm pretty sure he was just being a jerk."

My mouth dropped open and I exchanged a startled glance with Jake. The vampires of my experience liked to do things for intense and passionate reasons. They didn't just randomly change people because they were 'being a jerk'.

I didn't have an answer to this comment, so I had to content myself with a lame. "Oh… alright."

Giving me a pat on the arm, Jake picked up her backpack and threw it over his shoulder. "Let's go."

Katherine gave him a sideways glance. "You don't have to carry that."

"That's ok," he replied with a shrug and I noticed the fleeting look of surprise on her face. She clearly wasn't used to being treated with consideration.

Jake took my hand as we walked through the mossy trees to the cottage, and I could tell – by the squeeze he gave my fingers – that I was back in his good books. I gave him a small smile and returned the pressure of his hand.

It was still drizzling when we arrived at the cottage. Once we were inside, I checked the place over and showed Katherine around. Everything was in order, but I wished that it could have felt cosier for my guest. It had that slightly dank smell of a building which had been left empty for too many months. I comforted myself with fact that the place would be nicer once the heating had been run and it had been properly aired.

I thought that it might make the cottage feel a little homier if I lit a fire in the living room hearth. As I did this, Katherine surveyed the bookcase.

"This is a great collection of books. Are they yours?" She said, running a long finger across the spines and reading the titles.

"Most of them belong to my mom and dad; almost all of my books are at Grandpa's house."

She pulled out a copy of 'Ballet Shoes' and I smiled sheepishly. "That one's mine."

"I had this when I was a kid." She nodded and replaced the book with a sigh. "I used to have a lot of books. But I can't take many with me on the road."

"Well, you're welcome to read any of ours," I said, standing up from the fireplace. I looked down at the crackling fire and felt very proud; I had lit it with no help from anyone.

Jake came over and surveyed my handiwork. "Wow Nessie, how many newspapers did you use to get that thing going? It must have been a whole stack," he laughed.

"Stop raining on my parade!" I snapped, throwing him a resentful look. "I'm sorry that I can't light a fire by waving a magnifying glass around, like _some_ people."

He just rested his arm around my neck and kissed the top of my head. "Maybe Katherine could give you some lessons in survival; I bet she knows a thing or two."

Katherine smiled at this compliment and I was pleased that Jake was finally making the effort to be friendly. I turned to her and said.

"That reminds me; feel free to dump all your camping stuff in my room, if you want it out of the way. And of course, you can use the washing machine, or anything else. Oh, and you can take any of my clothes from the closet." I glanced at her tall frame and smiled. "You _might_ find something that fits!"

She laughed at this. "That's ok, but I will take you up on the loan of your washing machine."

Jake and I didn't stay for long – we had to get to Grandpa's house for dinner – but by the time we said goodbye, Katherine was looking pretty settled in the cottage. I knew I wouldn't have a chance to visit her the next day, but I promised to drop by on Sunday morning.

We had left our cars parked at the big house, and had to jog through the rain to get to them. By the time we got back to the garden, we were both soaked through. I was really glad that Katherine didn't have to camp outside anymore, it was very uninviting weather. I knew that she couldn't catch a cold, but it couldn't be very nice to have all her possessions feeling slightly damp.

When we reached the house, I caught hold of Jacob's hand and pulled him to a halt. "Thanks for coming today," I said, smiling up at him gratefully.

"That's alright." He gave me a thoughtful look. "I'm sorry I overreacted. I think you did the right thing, inviting her to stay. I think she's had it tough."

I was impressed that he was prepared to make this concession and – ignoring the fact that we were both sopping wet – hugged him tightly. "Jake, I'm so lucky to have _you_."

As he squeezed me back, I thought about Katherine, all by herself at the cottage, and realised just how lucky I was.

* * *

><p><strong><span>Author's notes:<span>**

**Hi there, I just wanted to say a quick thank you for the reviews, I have really enjoyed reading them, and a thanks to Brooklynn (because I can't PM you) and also thank you for all the list additions that I have received on this story, they always make me feel super cheerful :) **

**Please keep reviewing, I absolutely love reading your thoughts.**

**Anyway, thanks for reading, have a really great week,**

**Mad :)**


	20. Nessie, family

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

* * *

><p><strong>As always, a big thank you to willowbae for being such a lovely beta and taking an interest in my 'story research' :)<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 20.<strong>

**Nessie – family**

I called Katherine first thing on Saturday morning, just to check on how she was settling into the cottage. She sounded really cheerful and I could hear the washing machine going in the background. I told her that I would drop by on Sunday.

I had a few other things to do that Saturday. After spending the morning helping Sue sort through all the wardrobes _and_ the linen closet, I worked on an essay during the afternoon. Jacob didn't come over, because I was driving to La Push that evening.

Sam and Emily had invited Jake and me over for dinner. This plan had been suggested months earlier, but it had taken ages to find a weekend that was convenient for everyone. As far as I was concerned, this dinner was kind of a big deal. It was a special Alpha get together and it was significant that I had been invited, like an official acknowledgement that Jake and I were a proper couple now.

I made an effort with my outfit. It wasn't a cocktail dress event, but I did put on a pretty blouse and skirt, and my charm bracelet. I made a concession to the muddy La Push roads and wore a pair of knee length leather boots. But they were perfectly fitted, so they looked good, as well as being practical. I had the sense to take a raincoat, it was a wet day and I didn't want to look like a drowned rat when I arrived.

Even Jake had taken the trouble to wear a proper shirt and pants. I had to admit, he looked pretty sexy, in spite of the fact that his body was mostly covered. He was more interested in what I was wearing.

He grinned when I walked through his front door. "Wow. You look beautiful," he said, pulling me into his arms and kissing me. "Let's just stay in..."

I was relieved that he thought I was looking nice, but this evening meant a lot to me, so I stepped back and attempted to free myself. "Nice try, but we're going to Sam's and Emily's, even if I have to drag you there unconscious."

Jacob wasn't to be put off; he leaned in and began trailing kisses along my jaw. "I love it when you're assertive."

"Right that's _it!_" I said sternly, trying to ignore how amazing his lips felt on my skin. "I'm going to change into sweatpants and a crappy old t-shirt, if you don't pull yourself together."

Jake laughed and released me. "You'd still look cute." He caught my look and added quickly. "But we don't have time for you to change, Nessie; we've got to go…"

I flashed him a triumphant smile, and led the way out of the house.

We walked to the Uleys' house, and the second we arrived, I was pounced on by their kids. They were very loveable children. The youngest, Ben, wanted to be picked up and hugged before I'd even taken off my coat; he was quite a sturdy five year old, so it was lucky that I was strong.

At least the other two gave me a minute to catch my breath and say 'hi' to their parents, before demanding my attention. Eleven year old Jonathan was next. He was a nice boy, more lightly built than his little brother, with unruly hair that seemed determined to stick up, despite his mother's best efforts to brush it.

He dragged me over to see the tiny Dungeons and Dragons figures that he'd been painting. At least I didn't have to fake an interest. In some ways it was slightly embarrassing, to know that I shared my enthusiasm for role-playing games with an eleven year old boy. But it took more than this knowledge to put me off my hobby.

Jonathan had inherited his mother's artistic streak and I admired the intricate figures until my attention was caught by thirteen year old Jennifer. She was a lovely girl with a very sweet face. She was so much like her mother that when I looked at her, I felt as if I could finally see how Emily must have appeared, before she was scarred.

Jennifer was quite shy, but we had always got on very well. It was strange, she was only four years younger than me, but I had been living in the body of an adult for so long, that I'd always felt much older. She loved pretty, girly things and adored being allowed to come to Grandpa's house and raid my wardrobe.

I had given her a vanity case for Christmas, and she brought it into the living room, to show me all the things that she had put in it. It was a really nice one, with a secret compartment at the bottom. I dreaded to think what would happen when Jonathan discovered that compartment and ransacked its contents. I could predict tears and accusations.

I was busy discussing the small stack of notes and photos hidden there, and Jennifer was trying on my charm bracelet, when Emily told us that it was time for dinner. The kids had already eaten and were being allowed to stay up, watching TV in the living room, while we were in the kitchen.

The conversation over dinner was relaxed; no one was talking about pack business. This was hardly surprising as the kids were within earshot and they didn't know about the wolves. They just saw the pack members as their dad's friends and left it at that.

Both Sam and Emily were being very friendly to me, and I could tell that this really pleased Jake. He caught hold of my hand under the table and gave it a light squeeze. As he did this, I threw him a shy glance, before turning away to discover Emily's eyes upon us. She gave me a kind smile and offered me a drink. Everything was going very well, and it was a real shame when, halfway through the meal, there was a knock at the front door.

"Hey, Sam," Jared Cameron's voice sounded from outside. "Are you there?"

"Sure, come on in," Sam called back to him.

Emily frowned, and I turned, just as Jared hurried into the kitchen. He caught sight of us and looked uncomfortable.

"Aw, man," he said, glancing around the table apologetically. "I'm _really _sorry about the timing, guys." This comment seemed particularly aimed at Emily, who was already looking decidedly disgruntled. "You can probably guess why I'm here."

Sam got up from the table with a resigned sigh. "Which one was it this time?"

"Jamie." Jared shook his head, but spoke with some degree of urgency. "I know he's pulled some stupid stunts in the past, but he really outdid himself tonight."

They could only be talking about Jamie Hunter, one of the twins who had recently joined Sam's pack. According to Jacob, not a week went by without at least one of them causing mayhem. Sam had shown an amazing level of patience when dealing with the brothers, but I could tell that this was starting to wear thin.

Sam's brows snapped together at Jared's words. "You can tell me about it on the way." He then turned to the rest of us, regretfully. "I'm really sorry guys. I have to go – you know how it is."

"Sure, sure, don't worry about it." Jake spoke for all of us; everyone knew that Sam had no choice. "It's ok. We can do it again, some other time."

"Thanks, man," Sam shook his hand, and then leaned down to kiss my cheek. "See you later, Nessie."

He brushed his hand along Emily's jaw. "I'm sorry, honey," he said guiltily, before following Jared out of the door.

The atmosphere in the kitchen was a little tense as the front door closed behind them.

Emily broke the silence. "I swear, one day I'm going to throttle those boys," she exclaimed, with unusual force. "I don't think that Sam has finished a meal since they first phased."

"And that's saying a lot, since he's always eating," said Jake, trying to lighten the mood.

It worked, and Emily shook her head and gave a reluctant smile. "I wouldn't mind so much, but he's already got so many responsibilities. He's getting worn out, dealing with those two idiots on top of everything else."

As soon as the meal was finished, Emily went into the living room to hustle the kids to bed. After their teeth were brushed, and they were changed for bed, Ben asked his mother.

"Can Nessie read my story?"

"Nessie is busy, sweetheart," said Emily, carrying him into the boys' bedroom.

"No honestly, I'd love to," I stood up and followed her, meeting Ben's eye with a smile.

She put him into bed, and Jen and Jonathan drifted into the room. Emily went back into the kitchen to give Jake some company. The other two kids sat down on the bed next to me, as Ben thrust a book into my hands.

"I want this one."

"'Green Eggs and Ham', that's my favourite." I opened the first page.

Jennifer groaned. "He has this book _every _night. He even calls daddy, Sam-I-am."

Jonathan snickered and I started to read the story. "I am Sam…"

Reading the story was surprisingly slow work, due to the large number of comments and queries from Ben. He needed to discuss every single page at length. When we finally finished, Ben jumped out of bed and threw himself into my arms.

"I love you, Nessie. I've _imprinted_ on you!"

The other two burst into loud giggles. I was slightly stunned by Ben's enthusiastic declaration and wasn't entirely sure how to respond. The kids might not know about the wolves, but clearly the concept of imprinting had filtered through somewhere. Before I'd had time to think of a reply, Jen threw Ben a patronising look.

"Don't be so silly, you're too young to imprint."

"I have _so_ imprinted," said Ben, looking upset. "On Nessie."

I gave him a hug. "Lucky me."

Jonathan chose this moment to make his helpful contribution to the conversation. "Martin said that imprinting was when you go _in bed_ with someone."

From what I knew of Jared and Kim's youngest son, Martin, this news should have come as no surprise to me. As it was I choked.

"Oh well, it's not quite…" I started to explain.

Jennifer beat me to it and said with all the sweeping authority of a thirteen year old. "No, it's only after you get married that you can imprint. And anyway Nessie doesn't want to marry Ben. She can ask Uncle Jake to marry her – and _if_ he says 'yes', he'll imprint on her," she concluded cheerfully.

"And then she'll go _in bed_ with him," added Jonathan.

This kid was obsessed.

I was left gasping for words and they carried on, entirely oblivious to my deep embarrassment. Fortunately, Ben was too innocent to understand most of their conversation – I was starting to feel that he and I had something in common.

Jonathan had now turned his attention to teasing Jennifer about Jared's other son, the thirteen year old heart-throb of La Push.

"I bet you want Jared Jr to imprint on you," he taunted.

Poor Jen turned bright red and denied this accusation vehemently. "No, I don't."

No one was fooled.

Jonathan – knowing that he had struck gold – continued. "He won't imprint on _you_… he was kissing Naomi. Martin told me."

Apparently, Martin was a regular fountain of knowledge!

I saw Jennifer's lip wobble as she let her hair fall over her eyes. I felt terrified that she was going to start crying. The situation seemed to be spiralling out of control, so I could hardly describe my relief when Emily suddenly appeared in the doorway.

"That's enough Jonathan Uley. I'm sure that Nessie doesn't need to hear any more of your nonsense."

I kissed the kids goodnight and left Emily to put them to bed. Leaving the room quietly, I returned to the kitchen in a state of utter mortification. From the gleeful look on Jacob's face it was obvious that he had heard every word. I flopped onto my chair in a state of collapse.

Jake leaned forward and took my hand with a wicked grin. "I'm a sucker for champagne and roses, by the way."

"Excuse me?" I wasn't up to his riddles. I was still recovering.

"For your romantic proposal… I'm just saying what's most likely to get you that 'yes.'"

I pulled my hand away in disgust. "In your dreams Jacob Black…"

He laughed at my outrage. "Don't you want me to _imprint_ on you?"

"I can promise you that I would rather stay single _forever_, than ask you – or any other man – to marry me." I did have _some _standards!

"What _other _man?" He teased. "How many of us are there?"

I threw him a withering look and Jake raised his hands in laughing surrender.

"Ok, I get it; I won't get my hopes up – yet."

Ignoring this final shot, I gave a loud sigh. "I never knew kids could be so exhausting. How long was I in there, like, ten minutes? I feel like I've been on a three day hunt."

He nodded in agreement. "Kids will do that to you."

"I'm not sure I'd be cut out for parenting," I said, shaking my head. "I think it would kill me."

Jake gave a smile. "I don't know about that. I think you'd make a good mom." He said this with such warmth in his eyes, that I was left in no doubt of how he viewed the idea. He caught my sceptical look and grinned. "But not until some far, distant time in the future."

I gave an emphatic nod and added, "…if ever."

That was one thing in my favour; I wasn't aging, which meant that if I was actually able to have children, I had no urgently ticking biological clock. I could wait for years before bothering with them, but on the downside, there was the potential that I could go on having children for _decades_. I shuddered at this appalling idea as Emily came back into the cosy kitchen.

"Sorry about that, Nessie," she smiled apologetically. "Thanks for reading the story."

"It's fine, I love those guys."

She nodded and then gave a sigh. "Poor Jen, she was so upset by what Jonathan said. She's got such a crush on Jared Jr; it's not funny. And now he likes someone else…"

"My twelve year old niece, to be exact." Jacob frowned and added, with a shake of his head. "I'm going to have to warn Rachel and Paul to keep an eye on that girl. Jared's boys are a nightmare. I don't know which one is worse, Big-mouth or Lover-man."

We wished Emily goodnight soon after, and strolled back to Jake's house, where I'd left my car. It was dark and a misty rain was falling. As soon as we were outside I pulled up the hood of my raincoat. Jake wasn't so bothered by the wet, but then _he_ didn't have long curly hair that was determined to turn into a big frizz.

It wasn't far to his house, and as we walked along the muddy road, I noticed that Jake was very quiet.

"What are you thinking about?" I slipped my hand into his.

He looked down at me and smiled. "I was just thinking that Sam and Emily's family is a lot like mine used to be, before my mom died." Jake didn't often talk about his mother, even to me. "Emily reminds me of my mom."

"In what way?"

"There's a good feeling in that house and I think that a lot of it comes from her. The kids are nice. She makes the rest of the family happy, they're lucky to have her." He glanced at me. "But no one can say that Sam doesn't appreciate her."

He was right; Sam just about worshiped the ground that Emily walked on, and the kids adored her. I thought about Jake's mom.

"Do you miss your mother very much?"

"I used to," he said thoughtfully. "And sometimes I still do. Though to be honest, when I think of her, it often feels like I'm looking back on another life. She'll come into my dreams occasionally. But she died a long time ago, so I suppose I've gradually got used to not having her around. Now I'm just glad to have some really good memories."

I met his eyes and squeezed his hand. "What did she look like?"

"I remember how pretty she was, with long dark hair. Everyone says that I look like her." He smiled ruefully. "So just try to imagine a beautiful woman who looks like me!"

All that came to mind was Jake in drag, and I burst out laughing – which wasn't the most sensitive response. He didn't seem bothered; he just rested his arm on my shoulders with a chuckle.

"Ok, maybe that's taking it a little far. Just imagine a woman who was good-looking."

"Sure," I nodded with a smile. "Consider it done."

"There are still some things that make me sad though," he sounded more serious. "Like, I wish that my dad wasn't alone, and it would have been really nice if she could have seen her grandchildren. And I really wish she could have met _you_, Nessie."

"That would have been nice."

I nodded in agreement, whilst secretly thinking that she would have been horrified. What sane mother would wish a vampire hybrid onto her son? Unfortunately Jacob knew me too well – at times he made me suspect that it wasn't just my dad who could read minds.

"I know what you're thinking and you're wrong. She would have _loved_ you," said Jake insistently. "Just the way my dad does."

Sometimes I wondered if Jake was so wilful that he had just hustled his family into liking me. But I wasn't going to go down that road – he would never realise it, if he had. The important thing was that both Jacob and Billy _believed_ that Billy liked me.

"Ok." I smiled and brushed a wet strand of hair from my face. I then slid my arm behind his back and hugged him.

We were both quiet until Jake suddenly said. "I sometimes wish that I could be part of a family like that again… with you." He stopped in his tracks and turned towards me with an earnest expression. "I know that we don't have any guarantees, Nessie. And I'm not making any demands of you, but if you want those things too, then I really hope that we can have them someday."

In spite of my comments earlier in evening, I replied with complete sincerity. "I do, too."

He took me in his arms and leaned down to kiss me, but before our lips could meet, my attention was diverted. I wrinkled my nose and exclaimed.

"Jake, can you smell smoke?"

He gave a weary sigh. "Yes."

"Do you think we should find out where it's coming from?"

"No." He sounded surprisingly emphatic. I was tempted to argue the point, but then thought better of it – after all, why spoil a perfectly nice evening?

So I just shrugged. "Ok." And pulled him down to kiss me, without further interruptions.

As I drove home that night, I thought about all the family connections at La Push – the tribe, the pack and the close links between them. I knew how important they were to Jacob, probably more than he did himself; they were so much a part of him that he was hardly aware of them.

I could never live at La Push. It was one thing to be allowed to visit, but I was aware that no one on the reservation would actually want me there on a permanent basis. We didn't even know if I could trigger the wolf gene. It didn't seem as if I'd caused any new wolves to phase, but no one could say for sure.

I knew that I would have to leave Washington one day and that Jake would want to come with me. It worried me that he'd have to leave his home; it was such big a sacrifice, but I could see no other way.

There was no doubt that my family would expect us to travel with them, but in my heart I wasn't convinced that it would work. I could imagine visiting them, but when it came to settling down, I didn't think that living with them would be fair to Jake; after all, he wasn't a vampire. And a tiny part of me was beginning to wonder if I might find it suffocating too.

I loved my dad, but his mind reading was becoming more and more problematic for me. The rest of the family could ignore it, because he had no authority over them. And my mother – who was the only one in the family who actually cared what he thought – had a natural defence against it. But I was subject to my father's will in a more direct way, and although he wasn't a tyrant, he still had the massive advantage of knowing my every thought.

It was gradually dawning on me that Jake and I would need more distance, if we were going to be happy in the long run. One day we would have to strike out on our own and – if I was being honest with myself – I would have to admit that I found this an intimidating prospect. But I took comfort in the fact that I would be with Jacob. That knowledge was amazingly reassuring in the face of an uncertain future.

Things would never be that bad if we were together.

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Hello again, **

**I must admit, that was definitely one of the more fun chapters to write...**

**Anyway, I just wanted to say a quick thank you for last weeks reviews :) They were lovely to read. And also a thank you for reading *yay*. **

**Please keep reviewing, I really appreciate them, they are so encouraging :)**

**Apart from that, I hope everyone has a really great week! **

**Mad :)**


	21. Nessie, stubborn

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

* * *

><p><strong>As ever, a huge thanks to willowbae for her great beta-ing. It really makes all the difference :)<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 21.<strong>

**Nessie – stubborn**

I intended to return to Seattle on Sunday night, and wanted to see Katherine before then, so I dropped in at the cottage on Sunday morning. Jake had also promised to run over and meet us there.

When I arrived I could already see the change that Katherine had brought to the place. It was no longer depressing and dank. She had clearly been very busy, airing and cleaning the rooms. It felt nice and homey again.

She came out of the kitchen to greet me. Her wavy hair was tied in a messy ponytail, and she was wearing a loud flowery apron and rubber gloves. It was quite comical to see that even in this attire – which would have made any human look ridiculously frumpy – she still looked staggeringly beautiful. It was so _typical _of a vampire.

"Wow, this place looks great," I said, glancing around the living room. "You shouldn't have put yourself to so much trouble."

Katherine looked very pleased. "It's the least I can do. I can't tell you how nice it is to be in a real house again, with a proper bed to sleep on."

"Sleep?" I raised my eyebrows.

She threw me a sheepish smile. "In a manner of speaking." I followed her into the kitchen, as she started to explain. "I missed sleeping so much when I was changed, that I tried to find an alternative. I learned to let my mind drift, like a simple form of meditation. I suppose it's really a self-induced trance."

"That's a good idea." I hadn't heard of any vampire doing this before. "What made you think of it?"

She glanced up from her washing and her dark brows drew together. "My creator suggested it. He could see that I was miserable and thought it might help. I guess he was right."

Her creator seemed to have been full of practical suggestions. I nodded thoughtfully. "It must have been helpful, to have so much useful advice when you were a newborn."

"He could be pretty terrifying, but he did have his moments." Katherine shook her head at the recollection and smiled. "It must have been a nightmare for him though, having a newborn like me to take care of."

I leaned against the counter and met her golden eyes. "Why?"

"He was the kind of guy who liked to get his own way."

"I know one or two of those, myself," I said with a wry smile.

She nodded and agreed. "I guess they _all_ like to get their own way, especially vampire men. But he was worse than most." She then looked at me and smiled proudly. "You know, in all these years, I've never fed from a human. He tried to _force_ me to feed on them, even though I didn't want to. Ironically, he's one of the main reasons why I've never done it." She moved away from the kitchen sink and pulled off her rubber gloves, tossing them onto the draining board.

"How come?"

Her expression became belligerent. "Because then _he_ would have won."

Something about the stubborn set of her jaw, made me wonder if her creator had – quite literally – bitten off more than he could chew, by changing her. She didn't strike me as the kind of person who could be told what to do. I envied her that, and was curious to know how she had managed to fight someone who'd initially had such power over her.

"How did you resist?"

She flashed a triumphant smile. "After I was turned, I refused to eat."

"For how long?" I knew that newborns were unbelievably thirsty. I remembered my mother's first year as a vampire. She had needed to hunt far more than anyone else in the family.

Katherine looked thoughtful. "Hmmm, that's a good question. I usually have a great memory, but I got pretty spaced out – you know, from the hunger – so I'd guess somewhere between three to four weeks."

"As a newborn, you went for nearly a _month _without food?" I couldn't imagine how she must have felt. "How did you do it?" I gasped.

She smiled ruefully. "I'm not saying that it was easy… or that I could have gone on for much longer. I mean it was strange, because I couldn't actually _die_, I just found myself in more and more pain. It felt like red hot coals were lodged in my throat. But I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't go back to being human, but I didn't want to become a murderer either.

"My creator had talked to me and explained _everything_ while I was changing, so by the time I opened my eyes, I knew exactly what kind of monster I was." Her expression became very forbidding. "I was absolutely horrified. But from the very start, something deep inside me _had_ to fight it. I was lucky; after I was bitten, I was carried into the forest for my transformation, so I didn't have much human temptation when I awoke."

She was silent for a moment, before continuing. "He decided that we should hunt some hikers and we had a… a difference of opinion." A fleeting look of pain crossed her face. "It got ugly."

I was used to the fact that my family were kind to their newborns. I hadn't given much thought to the idea that not all newborns were treated this way. Uncle Jasper and Leo both had some unpleasant stories, but they hadn't held much reality for me, because they were about events that seemed so distant.

This was different, it felt far more immediate, and I suddenly found myself wondering just how cruel Katherine's creator had been to her. I noticed the way she quickly brushed over the details of their dispute, before adding in a matter-of-fact way.

"It was then that I went on hunger strike. He tried to wait me out and let my own hunger break me. I think he wanted me to suffer, as a punishment. He led me deeper into the forest, far away from any human prey, but of course he just got hungry and bored himself.

"Unfortunately for him, by this point I was beyond communication, so in the end he was reduced to hunting for me. It turned out that he already knew I'd be able to survive on animal blood, so he brought me several mule deer. He probably didn't realise that I would have eaten _anything _by then, even a human." She gave a sudden smile. "He was hungry enough that he fed on the deer too."

I could see that I had grossly underestimated Katherine's wilfulness. I was sure that her creator hadn't had a clue of how to handle her. I smiled cautiously.

"He couldn't have found it easy."

"No, he didn't." She shook her head. "But he was worried that I was going to pull the same stunt again, so for a while he was prepared to stay in the forest and live off animal blood too. He was stubborn – like me – which meant that he would _never_ admit how much he hated it. He really didn't know what to do with me, but he couldn't leave me on my own when I was so young."

"So he became a _vegetarian?_" I was astonished to hear that she had driven her creator to this act of desperation. I almost felt sorry for him, until I remembered that he normally liked hunting people.

"Yes, I suppose he did for a short time." Katherine nodded thoughtfully, but then added with a scowl. "Until he ran into a friend who led him straight back to his old ways. He hadn't been too bad when he was feeding on animals, but after the _real_ killing started again, I just couldn't stand it and I had to get out of there." She sounded very bitter as she said these words.

"Where did you go?"

"I left the country. I'd wanted to go travelling before I was turned. I still had my passport and some cash, so I decided to carry out my plan, even if I was a vampire."

"What plan?"

Our conversation was interrupted by Katherine looking towards the door. "I can hear two people approaching. I think one of them might be your Jacob."

My hearing was good, but it could never hope to match that of a full vampire. Hurrying to the front door, I poked my head outside.

A minute later I saw Jake jogging towards the cottage, accompanied by Seth. They were both in shorts, so I assumed that they must have run over together. I hadn't seen Seth that weekend, because he had been with Marie, and I was really pleased that he'd come too. As they drew near, I ran out of the house to meet them. Seth got to me first, putting his arm around my shoulders as we strolled towards the cottage.

"Hey, sweetheart, how's it going?"

I smiled archly. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Marie's out wedding shopping today." He wrapped his arm around my neck – in what felt like a wrestling hold – and gave me a squeeze. "And I wanted to come and congratulate you."

"Huh?"

A wicked grin spread across his face. "I heard that Ben Uley _imprinted_ on you. Apparently he wants to get married _soon_."

I was never going to live down that conversation.

I turned on Jacob accusingly. "I can't _believe_ you told him about that."

Jake just laughed and protested. "Hey, don't blame me. I didn't say anything…"

"You can let him off the hook," agreed Seth. "I ran into Sam this morning and he told me to tell you, that although he's sure you'll make a fantastic daughter-in-law, would you mind waiting a few years?" He burst out laughing and I could hear Jake chuckling next to me.

"You shouldn't make fun of Ben, he's only five," I reprimanded them. "And I think he's _adorable_."

"Uh oh!" Seth raised his eyebrows and threw a devious look in Jacob's direction. "You should be worried. Today's adorable five year old is tomorrow's adorable eighteen year old. And Nessie isn't aging." Jake's eyes narrowed as Seth continued mercilessly. "She might feel like trading in the boring _old_ model for an exciting new one!"

Jake shook his head and plucked Seth's arm from my shoulders, replacing it with his own. I smiled up at him, and he leaned down and kissed me. As he did this, the implications of Seth's words suddenly struck me.

"He's _right!_" I exclaimed.

Jake frowned and Seth gave a choke of laughter. "I knew it."

"No." I threw him an exasperated glare. "I mean, it's true that all those kids will soon be the same physical age as me and before you know it, they'll be older – especially if they don't phase – and I'll end up being the same age as their great-grandchildren!" This wasn't the most comfortable idea I'd ever had.

"But look on the bright side," said Jake, smugly. "I'll still be buff."

I ran my hand up his muscular torso. "You'd better be!"

Seth looked nauseated, which seemed a fitting punishment for his teasing. By this point, we'd reached the cottage door and I cheerfully led them inside.

* * *

><p><strong><span>Author's notes:<span>**

**Hello again :) **

**Just a quick note to say thank you to everyone who has reviewed or added this story to their lists. It always makes me feel very happy when you do!**

**And a special thanks to Joanna, Lei and Emy, because I really enjoyed reading your lovely comments, I'm sorry that I can't PM you, just know that I would if I could :)**

**Have a lovely week, thanks for reading,**

**Mad :)**


	22. Nessie, the matchmaker

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks to willowbae for being a lovely beta and a very good friend :)<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 22.<strong>

**Nessie – the matchmaker**

Katherine was standing in the kitchen doorway when we entered the house. Her appearance had quite an impact on Seth, he looked slightly taken aback. I could understand why. The combination of her height and physical presence, made her look like a fair haired Amazon. She was holding the broom, but somehow it seemed all wrong. A javelin would have been more fitting, or better still, a spear.

But, as I would have expected, Seth rose to the occasion when I introduced him to Katherine. He instantly fell into easy conversation with her and I was able to relax. She put the broom away, removed the hideous flowery apron, and we all went to sit in the living room.

Seth and Katherine were on the couch and Jake took one of the chairs, with me on his lap and his hands resting on my hips. I was pleased to see that he had recovered from his previous hostility to my guest. He seemed to be in a friendly mood. I remembered what she had been saying, before the guys showed up, and turned to her.

"So tell me, what _did _you do?"

She smiled and explained to the others. "I was telling Nessie how I left the states in the sixties."

"She said that she had a plan," I elaborated, and then sent Jake a message. _But you turned up before I found out what it was._

"Sorry, to interrupt," Jake grinned, answering my silent comment. I hadn't yet revealed my gift to Katherine and she looked slightly puzzled by this exchange, but she didn't pass comment. She just continued to tell us about her life.

"Before I was changed, I'd volunteered for the Red Cross. I was only a few weeks away from travelling to Asia when my creator showed up." She gave a slight frown, but then added in a purposeful voice. "But I still wanted to go, even after I was turned. I thought that I might still be useful helping with evacuations and reconstruction projects, and things like that. I mean, let's face it, I was certainly strong enough."

As she spoke, I was forcibly reminded of Grandpa Carlisle. He had spent a lifetime fighting his baser instincts for altruistic purposes.

"So what happened?" Seth asked curiously. "Did you do it?"

"Yeah." She nodded with a smile. "I got myself to Vietnam, and then later I travelled to Cambodia, the Philippines and all around Asia. I started with things like building projects, but once I'd developed good enough control, I trained as a nurse and worked in hospitals and health clinics, which was good, because there was plenty of need for it with all the devastation and poverty. I just had to be careful of the sunshine, but I was always prepared to take the night shifts, so I was pretty popular wherever I worked," she added cheerfully.

"Wow, I wish that I could do something like that," I said, feeling impressed by her noble efforts. She was far more adventurous than me.

Jake choked back a laugh and I glared at him. "What?"

"Oh, come on, Nessie. How would you cope in a war zone? You think you're 'roughing it' by visiting my house."

"That's not true," I protested in outrage, trying to squirm off his lap. Jake wouldn't let go of me, so I gave up the struggle and pulled a sulky face instead.

Seth started laughing. "In fairness, going to your house does make good preparation for visiting a war zone, Jake. When was the last time you vacuumed?"

Jacob threw Seth a withering look. "This is coming from a guy whose _mom _still does his laundry."

Katherine started to chuckle and even I had to smile at this. Jake noticed that I wasn't looking upset anymore, so he tightened his hold on me and took the opportunity to kiss my shoulder. I pretended not to enjoy it, but I don't think he was fooled.

Seth wasn't going to be put off; he just grinned and said. "Anyway, you don't need to go to a war zone, Nessie. Just look at all the good you've done around here."

Katherine threw me a quizzical smile. "What did you do?"

"I haven't the faintest idea what he's talking about," I said, in my most dignified manner.

Katherine laughed and Seth enlightened her. "Nessie's just being modest. She's a hardworking matchmaker. By the end of her senior year she'd set up half the kids in her class."

"Really?" Katherine looked impressed.

Seth nodded. "Trust me; no single person is safe with her around."

She laughed again. "Thanks for the warning, but I don't think I have anything to worry about on that score, I'm in a _very _small dating pool." A thought suddenly struck her and she gave a mock frown. "Come to think of it, maybe that's not such a good thing, I haven't had a boyfriend since 1967, and I was still a human."

"Of course," she explained. "It doesn't help that vampire men are such dumbasses. Whenever you meet one who's unattached, they'll always start boasting about the time they slaughtered an entire abbey of nuns. I mean, you have no idea how many guys have told me that _same_ story. It's like; there is _no way_ that Eastern Europe has that many convents."

"Are you serious?" I said incredulously. "I've never heard that one before."

"Yeah, absolutely." Katherine nodded vigorously. "And some of them even embellish the story with a part about how one young novice nun – who just _happened_ to be a beautiful young virgin – begged for her life, so they turned her and then went gallivanting around Budapest, wreaking havoc together."

We were all chuckling as she shook her head wearily. "What is it about vampire men and _nuns?_" She then added with a theatrical sigh. "So you see I don't hold out much hope for my love life. Perfect recall be damned, they're all total idiots."

Seth, who had been listening to this story with great enjoyment, just grinned and reassured her. "Don't worry, that's all in the past. Nessie will have you married by Easter."

"Great! I can't wait to meet the lucky guy." She smiled, before turning to me. "Nessie, just make sure he's a millionaire with one foot in the grave. Then he can drop dead and I'll have forever to spend his money!"

"I'll do my best," I joked, secretly wishing that there _was_ something that I could do.

She then added with a wicked grin. "Vampires make the ultimate trophy wives… we _never_ age."

I nodded in agreement and all the while my mind was turning. Although I had only known Katherine for a couple of days, I liked her and already felt a strong degree of interest in her welfare. Jake would have probably accused me of busy-bodying – maybe he'd be right – but it didn't take a genius to see that she might be lonely.

As Seth and Katherine continued chatting happily, I considered this problem. I knew that she didn't remotely expect me to find her a boyfriend, but I wondered if maybe I could. It was a problem that the qualities she required in a man were so rare. I mean, how many single, male, vegetarian vampires were actually out there – especially ones who weren't idiots?

And that was when it hit me. I already knew two who would fulfil that criteria; Hal and Leo. Ok, I had to admit that Hal was an unlikely candidate. He certainly wasn't an idiot, but I wasn't sure if he saw anything much beyond his work. But Leo, now he was another story; he was handsome, charming, and way too smart to spin Katherine some tale about nuns. It was _so_ obvious that I couldn't believe it hadn't occurred to me sooner.

Jake just happened to be looking at me as this idea popped into my head. When he saw my expression he gave a slight frown. I wondered if he could have guessed what I was thinking. But then I dismissed the idea, how could he possibly know?

Seth, Jake and I stayed for a couple of hours at the cottage, before we left Katherine in peace and headed off to spend the afternoon at La Push. Seth and Jake both offered to visit her during the week, which pleased me, as I would be stuck in Seattle and I didn't want her to be completely devoid of company.

I had my car, so Jake and Seth came with me. It was the first time in a week that it hadn't rained, and we headed down to the sea. We drove straight to First Beach to take a walk along the shore. In spite of the fact that it wasn't raining, there was still a strong breeze blowing damp air off the ocean. The grey clouds were hanging low and there was a lingering threat of showers. The cold wind wasn't a problem for any of us, but it was hardly surprising that the beach was practically deserted.

The only other people on the sand were a group of tall young men, fooling around, trying to push each other into the surf. They were all members of either Jake or Sam's packs. I recognised them immediately. For a start, they all had short black hair and muscular bodies, and were running around in shorts on a chilly winter's day. Among others, Steve the apprentice was there, and also one of the Hunter twins.

We approached them, and as soon as they spotted us, they stopped what they were doing and waved. I felt Jacob's fingers tighten around mine and I glanced up at him with curiosity, but his expression was difficult to read. As we got a little closer they jogged away from the sea, up the beach towards us, laughing and talking as they came.

"Hey, guys."

They crowded around and Seth turned to Laird Hunter. "Where's your brother?"

The other guys started laughing and a frown descended upon Laird's handsome features. "Uh, Sam's got him running circuits," he replied grumpily. "He's got no sense of humour."

"Jamie's getting off lightly," said Jake in blighting tones. "He's lucky no one called the Fire Department."

I wondered what Jamie had actually done. I would have to find out later.

As the conversation continued, I became aware of the intense stares that I was receiving from the young pack members; I could also hear the way that their hearts were accelerating. When I caught them staring at me, they glanced away, looking embarrassed.

I instinctively found myself edging towards Jacob. I was pleased when he stepped behind me and slipped an arm around my waist, pulling me close. I glanced at him over my shoulder. He smiled and gave me a reassuring squeeze. I placed my hand over his and tried to relax.

I was accustomed to the fact that the older pack members knew my family quite well. They had known what I was for years, and were used to seeing me at La Push. They didn't seem to think much of it. I wasn't surprised that the younger wolves seemed so uneasy; they had only recently discovered that I was a vampire hybrid. It was a miracle that they hadn't all phased the moment I appeared on the beach.

I gave a small sigh. There wasn't much that I could really do about it. Not long after getting together with Jacob, I'd asked him if I should stay away from La Push. I had thought that it might make things easier, especially with new wolves phasing all over the place.

Making that suggestion had been a _huge_ mistake. Jake had gone into a massive huff and threatened to leave the reservation if I wouldn't visit him there. I'd never mentioned the idea again, but it didn't stop me worrying. Sometimes I wished that things weren't always so complicated.

We didn't stay talking to them for long, and Jacob kept a firm hold on me the whole time. After saying a friendly goodbye, we continued our walk towards the windy beach head.

I was very quiet; mulling over my earlier conversation with Katherine. Seth and Jake were busy discussing the latest pack gossip – except they would never have admitted that they were gossiping – and it was only when we found somewhere to sit that they noticed my silence.

"What are you thinking about, Nessie?" Jake looked suspicious, as he sat down next to me on the driftwood tree trunk. When he spoke, I was busy pulling twigs off the dead tree, breaking them into tiny pieces and scattering them on the sand. His voice brought me back to reality.

"Oh…" I glanced up. "Nothing really, I was just thinking about some of the things that Katherine told me today."

"Like what?" he asked, idly putting his arm around my shoulders.

I thought of her words. "She told me about her creator, and how things were for her when she was turned." I shook my head and added cryptically. "It didn't sound too good."

Seth sat down on my other side, looking curious. "What did she say?"

I rested a hand on Seth's arm and slid my other around Jacob's waist, showing them the memory of our conversation. By the time I was done they were both frowning. Seth was the first to speak.

"So let's get this straight," he sounded disgusted. "Her creator _knew_ that she could survive on animal blood, but he was still happy to watch her starve herself? That's some punishment."

"Just another shining example of vampire _compassion_," said Jake with an edge to his voice. I winced and said nothing, but Seth nodded.

"They're not all like Carlisle, that's for sure. What a creep! No wonder she ran away."

I thought of the implications of his words and gave a small sigh. "It doesn't seem fair, she seems like a nice person and she's all alone…"

Jacob took me by surprise with his next comment. "I know what you're thinking, Nessie."

I glanced up at him. "What are you talking about?"

"Are you telling me that you're _not_ going to try fixing her up with your friend Leo?" He said, raising his eyebrows.

My mouth dropped open in astonishment. Jacob really was psychic!

Seth sounded slightly confused. "You mean that vampire Nessie met in New Hampshire? Does he know Katherine?"

Jake ignored him and continued with his cross-examination of me. _"Well?"_

"Well… what?" I blustered, turning slightly pink.

"So it hasn't crossed your mind?"

"Maybe once…" I admitted sheepishly. "But how did you know?"

"Let's just say that I know how your mind works." He shook his head. "And your expression back at the cottage was a dead giveaway."

I quickly tried to defend myself. "Well, anyway, it's not such a bad idea, is it? They're both single vegetarians."

Jake shot me a piercing look. "I don't know. But, I think you should be careful. Katherine might not thank you for trying to hook her up with a guy like him."

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

I knew that Jacob didn't want Leo anywhere near me, but I couldn't understand why he'd be bothered if Leo went for Katherine.

"Come on, Nessie," said Jake, in dampening tones. "Do you think that he's about to swear undying love to your new friend, just because _you_ think he should? Things just don't work that way. You already told me that he was hung up on some human girl. So if he noticed Katherine at all, he'd be unlikely to see her as anything more than a casual fling."

"He might get over that girl, if he met the right person," I protested, before realising that I sounded exactly like Aunt Rose.

"And you think that Katherine is the one?" He asked sceptically. "You know some of what she's been through – and I'm sure we haven't heard the half of it – she's hardly going to be the most trusting girl out there, which is probably a good thing. She'd see _him _coming from a mile away."

Seth had been listening to our conversation with a thoughtful expression.

"I must admit," he suddenly interjected. "From what I've seen of vampires, once they've met their true mate, they won't ever feel that way about anyone else. I doubt your friend Leo would be serious about her, even if she was interested."

Listening to their arguments, I realised that they were probably right, but I was still unwilling to abandon my idea. Moreover, I was beginning to feel resentful that they were ganging up on me. I met Jacob's eyes with a defiant scowl.

"You just don't want Leo anywhere near here," I fired at him accusingly.

His expression became very forbidding and he replied in a hard voice. "You're right, I _don't_ want him here. I'm glad you've understood that much, Nessie. So why don't you do us all a favour, and let it go."

"Fine," I snapped, pulling away from him and angrily crossing my arms.

For once, he didn't bother trying to talk me round; he just stood up and suggested that we all head back to his place for some food, since it was starting to rain again.

Seth – who'd been looking slightly uncomfortable during our little spat – seemed relieved and quickly rose to his feet. I don't know if he was thankful at the thought of eating, or just wanted to escape from our quarrel. I followed him and all we started to retrace our steps along the damp beach. Within a couple of minutes, Jake had wrapped his hand around mine again.

Seth changed the subject, and the guys chatted the whole way to Jake's place. I just went along with the conversation. It wasn't until that evening, when I was driving back to Seattle, that I started to consider my plan again.

As I watched the dark scenery flash past, I wondered if I could just let go of my idea without making any effort. There was always a chance that Leo and Katherine might get on. Even if that chance was slim, I felt as if I owed it to Katherine to at least give her the option without Jacob, or anyone else, vetoing it first. She had so few romantic opportunities that it seemed wrong to let this one slip past.

But now I had a logistical problem on my hands. There was no way that I could invite Leo to visit Forks, not after Jake had specifically asked me not to. On the whole, Jake liked me to have everything I wanted. It was so rare for him to ask me for anything, that I couldn't ignore it when he did. If I flouted Jacob over this, it would hurt him very badly.

And I wasn't a complete fool; I hadn't forgotten his reaction when I returned from New Hampshire. Jacob's expression on the beach had told me that inviting Leo to stay could spark real trouble. I had no desire to see either of them harmed; so if I wanted to introduce Leo to Katherine, I would just have to go about it another way.

I mulled over my various options. Forks was out of the question, but Katherine was hoping to visit my cousins in Denali after leaving the Olympic Peninsula. Maybe I could persuade Leo to visit them too. I had no doubt that my cousins would be curious to meet him; he had a lot of charisma, I was sure that they'd like him.

And then I thought of my cousin Tanya. She might like him a little _too _much. It wouldn't be much use if Leo ended up having a fling with Tanya, instead of falling in love with Katherine. I gave a frustrated sigh. It was a pity that Tanya was such a – I tried to think of a nice word for 'slut', but couldn't find one.

I kept my eyes focused on the dark road and considered the extreme likelihood of my plan backfiring. Truth be told, if all Leo wanted was some cheap affair, then it probably _would_ be better if he had it with my slutty cousin, rather than my new friend. Something told me that Katherine didn't need any more sub-standard treatment from the male sex.

I had no idea of what to do. I wondered if I should try and convince them both to stay with my family in New Hampshire. The Cullens would certainly set a higher moral tone than Tanya – which wouldn't be difficult – but even if I was able to set it up, it would be too obvious. Katherine would probably feel very self-conscious when she realised what I was trying to do.

Perhaps I should just leave them both in peace – the way that Jacob wanted me to. However attractive the idea seemed, Jake was probably right; the likelihood of things working out between them was minimal. I should just accept that Leo would be very unlikely to fall in love again, and Katherine would never trust him, even if he did!

Giving a small sigh of resignation, I stared into the darkness and decided to let the idea go.

Some things just weren't meant to be…

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Hello again :) I just want to say a quick thank you to the people who added this story to their lists during the week *yay*!**

**And also I feel I should say a special thank you to NotSoDaddy'sLittleGirl03 for singlehandedly holding the reviewing fort last week. That was so nice of you. I am aware that these recent chapters are fairly understated (in my mind they are very much the 'calm before the storm' part of the story) and I really do appreciate you giving that lovely feedback :)**

**Have a great week everyone, thanks for reading, Mad :)**


	23. Leo, regrets

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you to willowbae for being such a great beta :)<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 23.<strong>

**Leo – regrets**

What the hell was wrong with me?

I wasn't myself; that was for sure.

At first I didn't realise that anything was different. After returning to San Francisco, Hal and I fell into our usual routines. He went back to his studies and I went back to being bored. But that was the problem. After a couple of restless weeks, I suddenly became aware of just how bored I really was – of how bored I had been for _years_.

Why had I never noticed before?

And worse than bored, I was empty. I had filled my worthless existence with tracking, and girls who thought about nothing but blood, but the depressing truth was now staring me in the face. The only person, who had ever made me feel whole, was gone. And suddenly all the memories that I had meticulously suppressed, broke free.

I had believed that my wallowing days were over. For years I'd only thought of her when I was tempted by human blood. But after leaving New Hampshire, her memory returned with a vengeance and I realised just how much I _still _missed her.

It was insane. Within a couple of weeks I was transformed into some pathetic loser, who couldn't focus his mind on anything except his feelings for a girl who was long gone. God, I hadn't been in this state since those first terrible years without her. I couldn't get her out of my mind, and to tell the truth, I didn't even want to try. Even though it was painful to look back, I couldn't bring myself to lock the memories away again. I felt slightly less empty when I could feel the ache.

A part of me felt disloyal for ever having tried to forget. Knowing her had changed everything for me. She had taken my whole world to pieces and completely rebuilt it. She'd made me a better man. And yet I had spent years trying to eradicate her memory. When I realised what I had done, I was filled with remorse. It seemed so ungrateful. I was an ungrateful, selfish creep.

I also thought about Red. My meeting with her had been the catalyst for this change and I'd developed a surprisingly strong attachment to her. Her existence represented some kind of hope to me. I felt as if I was seeing what could have been, had I acted differently.

Her parents' marriage was a real eye-opener too. I had always consoled myself that things couldn't have been any other way, but they had proved me wrong. Edward had shown a level of restraint that I would not have believed possible. Or maybe that's what I _wanted_ to believe, because his resistance exposed my own crushing failure.

When I had found myself in his position and been drawn to a human girl, my behaviour had been consistently and ruthlessly selfish. From the first moment I had set eyes on her, I had wanted her; there was no way I was ever going to let her go. I should have stayed the hell away. I still had trouble understanding why I hadn't. Edward would never have treated Bella that way. But I'd been confused, egotistical and weak, and all these years later that knowledge was tearing me apart.

The thing that really got me was the awareness that every single time I had been given a choice; I'd made the wrong decision. I had trashed both our lives and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it now. It was too late; I failed to do the right thing when it counted. So I was left trying to live with my regrets, and that was proving to be increasingly difficult.

It was lucky for me that I still had my brother. His company was strangely comforting, he didn't always notice if I was down, but he was invariably friendly and kind. And I would never stop feeling grateful for his support all those years ago, when I had so successfully annihilated my own happiness. Hal had been a lifeline and I would never forget it. With his help, I had pulled myself out of the pit of bitterness and hatred that had, for a time, consumed me. I'd got on with my life and been happy – sort of.

I knew that he appreciated my company too. Because of the way he lived, Hal always had the potential to become very isolated. Knowing me gave him a stronger connection with the outside world and, I might add, a greater degree of protection from those ambitious vampires, who could see how useful he might be to them. Anyone who wanted to get to Hal had to go through _me_ first. A number had tried, but none had succeeded.

He and I had been good for each other; having said that, after our return to San Francisco, I don't think that I was much good for anyone, or anything. As the days passed my memories became more powerful and frequent. It got to a point where she was barely out of my mind for a second. All I could see were those eyes gazing into mine.

She'd had the most beautiful eyes; a transparent aqua blue. They had an amazing way of changing colour in different lights, from blue to sea green. In all these years, I had never seen another pair of their exact shade. And they no longer existed, because of me.

How had I managed to screw up so badly?

But I couldn't escape; I couldn't even sleep my time away. My mind was filled with visions of the past. In the months we'd been together, I had found a companionship that had made me feel as if I was actually alive again, and I found myself looking back on that time with a hopeless sense of longing. I could remember her resting on the grass beside me, gazing up at the stars. Her lovely eyes never leaving the heavens, as she tried to figure out how to live with me. One day she'd found her answer without any help from the cosmos.

I had shown her that she couldn't.

But in spite of all my remorse, the very blackest truth was one that I would hardly admit, even to myself. It was a bitter fact that I still felt a lingering sense of desire, when I recalled the moment that my teeth had cut through her delicate skin. In the midst of all the horror and pain, I could vividly remember how incredible she'd tasted.

I knew that after everything I'd done to her and to myself, a part of me still craved the sensation of her warm blood in my mouth. Perhaps her taste had left a strong impression because she was the last human I'd fed on; I couldn't say for sure. Whatever the reason, it shamed me completely.

That was why I deserved my suffering; I knew it was entirely just. But _her _suffering, where was the justice in that? I would have given _anything_ to take it back.

But I couldn't, so I wallowed instead.

After the third week of moping around the house, I started to feel hungry. This was probably a good thing, because it reminded me that my natural state had never been an apathetic one. I decided that a hunting trip was exactly what I needed to break out of my depression.

Eldorado National Forest was one of our most conveniently located hunting grounds, so I set to work packing for the trip. It didn't take long; I usually travelled pretty light, with a small backpack of carefully chosen items. I had been doing this for years and knew exactly what I needed. Just following my familiar routine made me feel a little more like my usual self, and showed me that I was taking the right approach to getting out of my dark mood.

I sorted my stuff and packed my backpack, and pretended that _she_ wasn't in my thoughts the whole time. I was ready to leave within quarter of an hour, and hurried downstairs to tell my brother what I was doing. He was at his desk when I swung open the study door.

"Hey, man. I'm going hunting now. Do you want to come?"

"Um…" He looked slightly surprised. "I don't know… I'm not really prepared."

I sat down on the edge of his desk and stared at him impatiently. "Geez, Hal. What's that got to do with it?"

He raised his pale face in confusion. "Well..."

I noticed the colour of his eyes and interrupted him. "You should definitely come, look at your eyes, they're black. You shouldn't let yourself get so hungry."

"I hadn't really noticed," he said vaguely.

I shook my head. He still amazed me. What would have to happen for my brother to take an interest in blood?

I was still trying to get over the time when Hal had walked past a woman and turned to me, about five minutes later, and said thoughtfully. "That lady in the blue dress smelled quite nice." I was really taken aback; it was the first time I'd _ever_ heard him comment on a human that way. I spent the rest of the week trying to figure out if he'd actually encountered his singer.

Nevertheless, I was determined that he was going to come hunting too, so I added persuasively. "If you don't watch out, you'll forget yourself and end up eating one of the professors." Admittedly this was extremely improbable, but I thought it was worth a shot.

It worked!

Hal looked startled by this idea and nodded anxiously. "Yes… perhaps you're right. I wouldn't want to do anything like that."

"Great." I sprung to my feet and headed for the door. "Let's go."

Of course, Hal made a big thing about the fact that he hadn't packed yet. Once his backpack was ready, he then took forever sending a couple of pointless emails and locking up the house. Just checking all the windows seemed to take him half an hour.

I just sat on the front doorstep, waiting for him. I felt pretty edgy. I couldn't claim to be the most patient guy in the world, but it was worse than usual. Just a second spent sitting quietly was enough to bring back the memories that I wanted to escape; those beautiful eyes and that smile…

I reached into my back pocket and pulled out my wallet. Flipping it open, I gazed longingly at the picture inside. It was the only photograph that I had of her. With my perfect memory, I didn't really need a picture, but I'd still looked at it a hundred thousand times. And every single time I did, my dead heart seemed to ache painfully.

It may have been worn with age, but this picture captured her perfectly. She looked so happy, with that summer tan and smile. And the guy with his arm around her, he looked happy too. She was gazing up at him with such a look of affection and trust. They had no idea what the future held for them.

"Hi." A quiet voice startled me out of my reverie and my throat started to burn.

Returning my wallet to my pocket, I glanced up to see one of my neighbours, the youngest Miss Finkleman, standing in front of me.

"Hey, Sidney. How's it going, kid?"

Noticing my backpack, she blushed and stammered. "Are you going away again, Leo?"

I gave the shy fifteen year old a smile. "Yeah, I've got some exploring to do."

"Oh." Her face fell.

I didn't like to see her looking unhappy, so I quickly added. "But I won't be gone for long. So you'd better not go messing around with any boys while I'm away, 'cause I'm the jealous type."

"Um… I don't really know any boys," she replied with a bashful smile.

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. "You're just saying that so I won't worry. I know you'll be out with a different boy every night, the second my back's turned."

Sidney seemed cheered by this thought and smiled happily, as she wished me a good trip and a safe return.

In truth, the thought of coming back didn't make me feel too happy. I had an ominous feeling that I would only want to break away again. But worst of all, I knew that wherever I went, my memories would travel with me.

For the first couple of days in Eldorado, I distracted myself with tracking and killing. I'd always felt that the major consolation of hunting wild animals was that they generally led a more interesting chase than the average human being; they just didn't taste so good, once they were caught.

I had always been a rover, even as a human, so travelling in the outdoors was something that I usually really enjoyed; I could happily spend months living in the wild, moving from place to place and hunting. California had a number of forests with a large variety of prey, great scenery and plenty of space to roam. Over the years I'd visited them all and experienced many good times.

Hal wasn't so interested in the outdoors; he always viewed these trips as a necessity, rather than a pleasure. But on this trip, it quickly became clear that he was having more fun than me. It wasn't for lack of effort on my part. I had hoped that hunting would help me. I really did try to keep my mind occupied, but however hard I worked to think of other things, my thoughts would always return to her, and even more strangely, to Nessie Cullen.

Frankly, it was a little weird. I knew that I was fond of her. And I understood the role she had played, however inadvertently, in unleashing my painful memories. But this was something else. My mind kept coming back to her; like a nagging feeling, that I was missing something very obvious.

I knew damn well that my instincts were trying to tell me something – just as they had, when I'd spotted her at the airport – but I wasn't in the mood to decipher them. Now and again I'd been known to sense other people's troubles, even when they didn't matter to me at all; not that Nessie didn't matter to me, I definitely cared about her, but I just didn't feel in the right frame of mind to deal with any extra hassles. I was already struggling with my own baggage; I didn't need hers as well. So I told myself that it probably wasn't important and tried to put her from my thoughts.

But, however determined I was to forget her, her memory seeped into my consciousness almost as much as my other, more painful, recollections. By day three it had become obvious that despite my best efforts, I was not going to be able to free my mind from her.

As Hal and I made our way across the sparse mountain terrain, I felt restless and my thoughts kept returning to the same idea. I hardly noticed what I killed that day. I didn't care, I was too preoccupied. By nightfall, I was resting against a pine and brooding in silence.

"Leo, is there something wrong?" It must have been written all over my face for my brother to notice.

I sighed. "I don't know. I just can't clear my head."

Hal sat down nearby. An expression of sympathy was etched onto his snowy features.

"I just keep thinking about the past…" I looked away and picked up a small stone, which was lying nearby.

"You're thinking about _her_?" He asked tentatively. Hal never said her name; he knew that I couldn't take it.

I tossed the stone into some far off trees. "Yeah." I sighed and added. "And Red."

"_Nessie Cullen?_" Hal sounded worried. "Leo, you know I hold you in the highest regard. But have you _completely_ lost your mind? She's not like all those other girls. Her family… they like you, but I can't imagine they'd ever approve… and we know that she already has an attachment to another man… a shapeshifter…"

Glancing in his direction, I gave a wry smile and interrupted his protests. "Don't worry. It's nothing like that, I can't explain it… she's important, but I don't know why. I can't get her out of my mind." I tried to put a definition on my intuition and the best I could manage was. "She _knows_ something."

Hal looked so relieved that I felt touched; he really didn't want to see me torn to pieces by the Cullens or a pack of supernatural wolves.

"What does she know?" He asked curiously.

Shaking my head, I was unable to put my intuition into words. "I'm not sure… I can't explain. I just feel it."

"So…" He gazed at me cautiously. "What are you going to do?"

I was silent for a minute, my eyes scanning the rocky landscape as I considered his words. He'd asked a very good question, but I wasn't sure that I had an answer to it. So just I shrugged and told the truth.

"I don't know. Probably nothing."

* * *

><p><strong><span>Author's notes:<span>**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed last week, I really enjoyed reading your comments, and also thank you to the people who added this story to their lists!**

**And of course, thank you for reading :)**

**Have a great week,**

**Mad :)**


	24. Nessie, a day in the city

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you to willowbae for all her dedicated beta-ing :)<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 24.<strong>

**Nessie – a day in the city**

I was really pleased when Katherine agreed to take a day trip to Seattle. She came on a day when I wasn't going to have any classes. I even remembered to warn Leah that she was visiting, just in case she picked up the scent of a strange vampire in the city. I didn't want Leah to undo all her good work by accidentally phasing.

The weather couldn't have been better for her trip. It was completely overcast, but dry and surprisingly mild, just right for making a relaxed tour of the university campus. I already had an itinerary planned for what we could do. I was quite excited about showing her my college.

Katherine had decided to take an early bus, and I was there to meet her when she arrived. She appeared in the bus doorway and gave me a cheerful wave, before hopping gracefully onto the pavement. I noticed the other passengers staggering off the bus with slightly stunned expressions. They had clearly been overwhelmed by a journey spent in the presence of such a remarkable beauty.

In honour of the occasion, Katherine had decided to dress with extra care. She was wearing her own jeans and boots, but instead of an outdoor shirt, she had put on a pretty top and jacket, which I had cunningly borrowed from Aunt Rose's wardrobe. Even the glossy waves of her hair seemed to be looking a little more orderly than usual. She looked spectacular; no wonder the other passengers seemed so dazed. They'd been 'vampired.'

I hurried over and gave her a hug. "You look amazing!"

"Well, I don't know about that," she said, with a sheepish smile. "I used to like nice clothes and things, when I was young. But I'm pretty clueless about them nowadays."

I had come to understand that when Katherine talked about being _young_, she was really talking about being _human_. For a vampire, she seemed to remember her humanity with unusual clarity. It was obvious that she didn't want to let it go.

I often wondered if one of the reasons that she enjoyed my company was because I was an intermediary between the world of vampires and humans. I knew how it felt to be an outsider, wanting to be part of the human world, but never really belonging. But unlike Katherine, I wasn't alone. I had Jacob and at least I belonged with him.

She looked anxious when she talked about her clothes, so I tried to calm her. "You're not clueless, you look fantastic."

It was funny that she, of all people, would need reassurance about her appearance. But I was starting to realise that confidence was an elusive thing and how someone looked on the outside, didn't necessarily reflect how they felt on the inside.

We walked to the university and when we arrived on campus, Katherine looked around and shook her head with a smile.

"I can't believe it's been so long since I was a student. Being here makes me feel like I still am."

"Where do you want to go first?" I asked.

I handed her a map of the campus, and showed her my list of things to do. She smiled when she saw my carefully planned agenda. Glancing down the list, she pointed to item number six with enthusiasm.

"Could we go and see the stadium?"

"Sure." I nodded and led the way.

As we were walking, I pointed out the sights of interest, and she told me about her sports scholarship at Berkeley. She'd been on the Track and Field Team. This explained a thing or two. I'd seen her on the hunt and finally understood why she was so fast; she'd been a very athletic human.

"Did you want to become an athlete?"

"No. But I was good at it, so I was under a lot of pressure to do well. My dad pushed me pretty hard, my coach did too; you should have seen the way he used to treat me. Wow, that was really something! Of course, my dad backed him all the way. He was just the same with my brother; he wouldn't give either of us an inch.

"I enjoyed sports, but they were mainly a means to an end for me; I was prepared to focus on them, because they paid for my education. I always knew that I wanted to travel and eventually I realised that I wanted to do aid work. My athletics provided the educational gateway. Sports were ok, but they would never have been anything more in the long run. I didn't have the kind of dedication that I'd have needed to go pro. It's too competitive." She ended with a laugh. "But, I could outrun them all _now!_"

The stadium wasn't far, but it took us a little while to get there, because I kept on bumping into people that I knew. They all stared at Katherine with interest – especially the guys – but I could tell that they were cautious of her too. This was something that my vampire family also experienced; fear and fascination from humans.

We had some good luck at the stadium, it was open and we could go inside, and sit on the empty stands and chat. Katherine told me all about her days on the college sports team and explained the correct technique for hurdling. There were a few other people milling around, otherwise I might have asked her to demonstrate. We both laughed at the idea of trying to explain away her vampire athleticism.

"I'd be offered a scholarship to every college in the country." She winked.

When we'd finished at the stadium, we took a walk to the Drumheller Fountain. I always liked to pass the fountain when I could; it was one of the most attractive spots on campus. We stood for a while watching the water, when I was distracted by the unwelcome sight of Professor Leary on the other side of the pond. I turned away quickly and caught hold of Katherine's arm.

She glanced at me with a baffled expression. "Are you ok, Nessie?"

"I'm fine," I pulled her away from the fountain as fast as I could, whispering. "I just want to avoid someone."

She quickly glanced over her shoulder. "Who?"

"Don't look," I hissed, while earnestly tugging her arm. "It's one of my professors. _I can't stand him_."

Her dark brows drew together as I hurried her towards the Central Plaza. "Why not?"

I caught her eye and tried to explain. "I know it sounds stupid, but when I first started college… he used to look at me funny… and say things…" I blushed with embarrassment as my voice dropped. "He made me feel… sort of… _dirty_."

Her face became very serious. "Did he ever step over the line with you?"

I shook my head vehemently. "No… no, it never went that far. But, once he got the message that I wasn't interested, he started giving me lower grades than I deserved."

She was still frowning as she asked. "Did you tell anyone about this?"

"Just a couple of my college friends… one of them helped me."

"Didn't you tell Jake?" She seemed surprised, so I tried to explain.

"He's already got so many other problems; I didn't want to dump this onto him as well. And he gets so anxious about me that he'd probably overreact. Anyway…" I attempted to sound confident. "I can handle it."

She put her hand on my arm and looked me straight in the eye. "Ok. Just promise me that if this situation ever gets any worse, you'll say something." A stormy look came over her face as she added. "Guys like that make me _sick_."

Seeing my worried expression, her thunderous look disappeared and she laughed. "I guess that if anyone tried to take advantage of _you_, they would be in for a shock."

I smiled at the thought of a pack of wolves and a coven of vampires descending on Professor Leary. "They'd probably regret it." I knew that even I could do some serious damage, if I really wanted to.

We made our way across the Plaza and Katherine decided to turn the conversation to a more cheerful subject.

She threw me a quizzical glance. "I've been meaning to ask you. Do you have a telepathic link with Jacob?" So she _had _noticed the silent communication.

I gave her a cautious smile and decided to come clean. "Yes and no." She looked puzzled and I continued. "I have a gift; but it's not related to Jake. I can project my thoughts to anyone."

"Seriously?" Her dark eyebrows flew up in surprise.

"Would you like a demonstration?"

She nodded enthusiastically. "Sure."

By this point we had reached the Henry Art Gallery, and so we sat down on the steps outside, and I sent her some memories of my family, showing her who they all were. She was very impressed and spent the next half hour asking questions about how my gift worked.

"How about you?" I eventually asked. "Do you have any special gifts?

Katherine smiled reluctantly. "Nothing as impressive as yours, I'm afraid."

"What do you mean?" I was immediately very curious.

"Well, I suppose you could say that I have good instincts. I had this intuition before I was turned, but it's become more focused since."

"How does it work?" I had heard of talents that fell into a similar category, but I knew that no two gifts were exactly the same.

"It's not a constant feeling – thank God – it's more like flashes of intuition. Like, when I heard about your family, I felt that I had to try and find them." She tilted her head thoughtfully. "It's hard to explain, I just _knew_ that it was important. So I really wasn't surprised when we became friends."

"Well, it seems that I owe your intuition a debt of gratitude."

She smiled and added. "Very occasionally I get strong feelings about other things, like events in people's pasts and occasionally their futures, though those can be seriously random. It was sometimes useful when I was a nurse, but it could be really sad too. I don't have actual visions – just feelings. But often, that's all I need."

I nodded, mulling this over. "It sounds useful."

"But not infallible." She looked slightly embarrassed. "I've been known to misinterpret my intuitions, especially when it comes to my own life. I guess I find it hard to be objective, because my emotions cloud the issue."

I threw her a curious smile. "In what way?"

Katherine thought for a second, before answering. "Ok, a good example would be my feelings when I first met my creator." She smiled ruefully. "Now I was still human – obviously – but I still had some very strong instincts about him. I have to say, they were some of the most powerful feelings that I've ever had."

"Were you afraid?" I wondered what it must have been like, to have some premonition of what was going to happen.

She gave a short laugh. "No, I wasn't afraid – that came later! From the first moment I saw him, I knew that things were going to change for me; I felt as if I was staring into the face of my own destiny. I was right – and wrong."

Her mouth twisted as she added. "I was a complete fool, Nessie. I couldn't stop thinking about him; he was so handsome. Even though he barely spoke to me, I actually thought I was in love and that we would be together. I was blind…"

She bit her lip in shame, and I felt very sorry for her. Katherine had been caught out by the oldest trick in the vampire book. I was aware of how stunningly attractive they were to humans. I'd seen the way that people reacted to my family and understood what a strong lure it really was.

"You shouldn't feel bad; you know how hard it is for humans to resist."

"I was proof of _that_. I was such an idiot!" She added, lowering her beautiful eyes. "Of course, I had no idea of what he was. And he never felt anything for me… But he _did_ change my life, just not in the way I imagined. I guess some things are just _really_ hard to predict." She gave a resigned shrug, and then threw me a half smile. "No wonder I don't trust men."

I was impressed that she was attempting to make light of what must have been a depressing memory, so I nodded in agreement. "I can see why."

For a brief second, her smile disappeared and her expression became very fierce. "I swear that no man is _ever_ going to catch me off-guard again. I would rather spend an eternity alone than give anyone that power."

There was no mistaking the grim resolution in her voice. It made me feel sad, but from what I already knew of her stubbornness, I felt that it would be difficult to persuade her otherwise. Before I'd had a chance to respond either way, Katherine had risen to her feet and smiled.

"Well, I think you've heard enough of my whining for one day. Haven't we got an exhibition to go to?"

I nodded and stood up. We went to take a look inside the gallery. After spending an hour staring at the exhibits, we decided that we'd put enough time and energy into cultural activities, and went shopping instead.

Although I had already bought a new wetsuit for my vacation, I'd seen a nicer one in the latest edition of Surfer Magazine and wanted to track it down. Katherine seemed perfectly happy to tag along on this expedition.

We went to my favourite surf shop. I knew all the young men who worked there, and they greeted us in a friendly way when we walked through the door. I told them what I was looking for, and was pleased to discover that they stocked it.

They found the wetsuit in my size, and I hurried off to the wooden changing cubicle, leaving the assistants chatting to Katherine. I could see that while she was in the store, no other customer was going to get any service.

As soon as I was in the wetsuit, I popped my head around the cubicle door. "Katherine, can I ask your opinion?"

She smiled and strolled over. "Sure."

I stepped out of the cubicle and she looked at me thoughtfully. "The fit seems ok, how does it feel?" She was taking the practical approach, just the way my mom would.

"It feels fine," I said hurriedly, I wasn't interested in those considerations this time. "How does it _look?_ Do I look fat?"

"Are you out of your mind?" She rolled her eyes. "Of course you don't."

I sighed and stared into the mirror, turning this way and that. "Tell me the truth. If you were a man, would you think this looked sexy?"

Katherine laughed. "I have no idea, why don't you ask the guys over there." She jerked her blonde head at the assistants, who were surreptitiously watching us.

"I can't do that," I hissed self-consciously.

"I'm sure they wouldn't mind." She gave a satirical smile. She was probably right, but I wasn't about to humiliate myself by dragging three assistants into this debate.

"I just can't decide."

I sighed and examined my reflection for a minute more, before returning to the cubicle to change into my own clothes. When I reappeared, Katherine asked me.

"If you're so concerned with looking sexy, why are you buying a wetsuit? Why not just go for a swimsuit and be done with it?"

"Because I have to be subtle about it," I replied sheepishly.

"Why?"

I hadn't told anyone about my plot to sweep Jake off his feet. I narrowed my eyes and threw her an appraising glance. "If I tell you, will you _promise_ not to say anything?"

Katherine nodded kindly, and I began to tell her about our trip to Mavericks. It was nice to be able to discuss my plans with someone. She seemed fairly amused when I described my scheming, but not in a way that made me feel silly. In fact, she was very sympathetic and I found myself telling her everything as we browsed through the shop.

She got into the spirit of the conversation and even regaled me with the tale of her 'first time.' She was sixteen and he was an eighteen year old boy who used to hang out at the beach, near her home.

"He was so gorgeous, Nessie. I was head over heels." She gave a nostalgic little sigh, while flipping through a rack of tank tops, and then grinned. "He dumped me the next day."

Her cheerful attitude surprised me; I couldn't imagine taking something like that so lightly. "You don't seem very upset?"

She startled me by bursting into a peal of laughter. "Geez, Nessie. I've had sixty years to get over it. He wasn't _that_ good!"

"Oh, right… of course," I replied, feeling slightly embarrassed.

Katherine just chuckled and then added thoughtfully. "I'll admit that I was upset at the time, but those days are long gone. He's probably a grandfather by now… unless he's _dead._" She gave a wicked smile. "Of course, he'll be forever young in my mind, and I'll just be forever young, period. I wonder what he'd think, if he saw me now."

She fell quiet, mulling over this idea, and I continued talking about my vacation with Jake. "I just want everything to be ok, when we go to Mavericks."

"I don't think you have anything to worry about. I've seen the way Jacob looks at you. Everything will be fine."

"Thanks," I smiled gratefully. All at once, a thought struck me and I glanced around, before asking in a hushed tone. "How do you remember everything so clearly? Most vampires are much hazier about the details of their human life."

Her expression became serious. "I was taught how to remember. It's not so difficult if you practice – which I did."

I decided to buy the wetsuit and also found a couple of t-shirts for Jake, and we strolled over to the checkout. Just as I was about to pay, the shop door opened and a couple of young guys wandered in.

I happened to glance at Katherine as they brushed past her, and I had a chance to witness her pupils dilating. Her relaxed expression disappeared and was replaced by one of extreme stress. She stood frozen for a second, before whispering urgently.

"_I've got to get out of here!_"

I nodded. "I'll find you outside."

She left the shop immediately, and I finished paying. I tried to play down Katherine's abrupt exit, by saying that she had just remembered her car was on a meter. As soon as I could, I followed her outside. She wasn't hard to find. I followed her scent to a quiet street a few blocks away. I'd had enough experience of vegetarian vampires to understand what had just happened. I found her sitting on the curb, staring at the ground.

I sat down beside her. "Are you ok?"

"Sure." She spoke without looking up and her face was very unhappy.

"You did the right thing, there was no point making it harder on yourself."

She paused for a moment, before saying in a bitter tone. "I _hate_ it, Nessie… I'll be strolling along, minding my own business, and all of a sudden I'll catch a scent and be transformed into a goddamn monster."

I patted her shoulder, comfortingly. "You can't help the fact that some people are more tempting than others. The important thing is that you resisted. You can't do more than that, Katherine."

"I can't tell you how it makes me feel. Like today, I was having such a nice time; it was almost like being a normal person…" She bit her lip and glanced at me with a tormented expression. "You may not believe it, but sometimes I feel very human. Then something like this happens, and I remember what I _really_ am."

"You're a good person Katherine. I know you are."

"He smelled _amazing_..." There was no disguising the longing in her tone.

I wasn't sure what to say. I understood how difficult her position must be, but I didn't think that she needed me to be the voice of doom, so I just smiled. "For a man, that's really saying something!"

She seemed to appreciate my attempt to lighten the mood and gave a small smile. "I suppose so." Then added apologetically. "I'm really sorry for acting this way, Nessie."

"Don't mention it," I grinned and rose to my feet. "I've spent a lifetime with temperamental vampires. You should see my dad!"

Katherine stood up and brushed off her jeans. Her expression became pensive as she met my gaze. "It's been great today. I wish I hadn't spoiled it by acting like a jerk."

"You haven't spoiled anything. I've had a wonderful time."

"Really?" She looked sceptical.

"Yes, it's been fantastic," I gave an enthusiastic nod and began to walk away. "Come on, we've still got the rest of the afternoon."

Catching my cheerful mood, Katherine smiled and followed me. "What are we going to do now?"

"Let's go spit off the Space Needle."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's notes<strong>**:**

**Just a little note to say thank you for last week's reviews and list additions. They were great :) **

**Thanks for reading, until next time, have really nice week, Mad :)**


	25. Nessie, restless

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you to my lovely beta willowbae, the best beta ever :)<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 25.<strong>

**Nessie – restless**

I had been on a number of hunting trips with Katherine, but I still found her speed slightly awe-inspiring. Having just spent a sedate day with her in Seattle, it was especially strange to watch her moving through the forest at such a staggering pace. She could easily outrun all the women in my family; she was more than match for the men. For instance, I would have liked to see her racing against my dad.

After hearing about her athletic past, it made more sense, and I noticed that she still used her hurdling technique when leaping over obstacles in her path. With this degree of natural coordination it was unsurprising that she was lethal on the hunt.

On the Sunday after her trip to the city, Jake and I went hunting with her in the afternoon. By the time we had spent several hours tearing through the forest at breakneck speed, I was more than happy to call it a day. Katherine waved a cheery goodbye and headed back to the cottage, while Jake and I made our way towards the wolves territory.

I was in a happy mood, it had been a good week and I was starting to feel excited about our forthcoming trip to Mavericks. It was only a couple of weeks away and I had already got everything ready. Two new wetsuits, new underwear, a visit to the student health centre… I was prepared!

Of course, I had to play down my enthusiasm to Jake; I didn't want him to get suspicious and change his mind about taking me. I wanted him to view the vacation in the same way that he would a mundane camping trip. By the time I made my moves, it would be too late for him to back out.

I had even resisted being quite as physical with him as I usually was. I wasn't cold or unfriendly, but I wasn't all over him either. I thought that if I seemed capable of controlling myself, then he would feel even less suspicious of my motives for our trip. I found it tough though, because when Jake was around, I was automatically drawn to him. But I managed to be extraordinarily restrained as our vacation approached.

The side effect of this strategy was that Jacob had started to grow restless in my presence. I suppose that he was used to a certain amount of contact between us and he began to miss it. At first I was unaware of this, but by the end of the weekend it was starting to show.

As we strolled through the forest and crossed the treaty line, I glanced at Jake and noticed that he seemed edgy. This surprised me; I had burned off all my energy on the hunt.

"Are you ok?"

"Sure, sure." He nodded absently, putting his arm around my shoulders.

I caught hold of his arm and manoeuvred it from around me, so that I ended up holding his hand instead. Looking vaguely frustrated, he let go of my fingers and tried to put his arm around me again. But at that precise moment, I noticed that there was a stone in my shoe and started hopping on one foot.

"Nessie, what are you doing?"

"There's something in my shoe." I caught hold of him and poked out my foot expectantly.

"What are you, like, five years old?" He sighed and leaned down to help pull off my shoe.

In fairness to me, when Jake tipped my shoe upside-down, a _massive_ pebble fell out. The ground was covered in mud and, taking my sock into consideration, he picked me up and carried me to a nearby boulder – not the one that had been in my shoe, but another one – and gently set me down.

I waited happily on the mossy rock, watching him re-tie my shoelaces. When he was done, he glanced at me with a smile. "Is that better?" His dark eyes were very inviting as they met mine.

"Yes, thank you." I leaned forward to give him a kiss of gratitude.

In spite of my plan, I couldn't resist letting my short peck turn into something more lingering. As my tongue skimmed along his bottom lip, Jacob caught me in his arms and pulled me close. I was surprised by how enthusiastic he was being, but he felt so good that I was happy to go with it, even when he pressed me back against the boulder.

"You feel great," he murmured into my ear, letting one of his hands edge underneath my shirt. I could feel the rough surface of the rock against my skin as he slid his fingers up my back. His body felt very warm, compared with the cold stone beneath me.

"You feel better," I whispered, running my palms across his powerful shoulders and breathing in his amazing scent. I moved my mouth back to his and let my arms tighten around his neck, pulling him down as our lips parted.

I didn't know if this should be part of my plan, but at that moment I really didn't care. Apparently, Jake was also feeling pretty sure of what he was doing. With his free hand, he caught hold of my leg and wrapped it around him. As he began to unbutton my shirt, I wondered if all my careful plotting would be rendered unnecessary.

At that moment, we couldn't see anything beyond each other. This might have explained why we were caught so off-guard when, a second later, we were interrupted by a cheerful voice.

"Hi, guys!"

I almost jumped out of my skin and Jake growled as he turned his head. Peering around Jacob, I caught sight of two members of his pack, Quil and Steve, the young apprentice from the garage. Of course, it was Quil who had spoken. If Steve had discovered us, I'm sure that he would have hurried away before being noticed.

I unwound my leg from around Jacob's waist. He stood up and pulled me into a sitting position. I blushed furiously, whilst trying to do up my half-unbuttoned shirt, and Jake fired them an angry glance.

"What do _you_ want?"

I climbed to my feet and caught hold of Jacob's arm. I noticed his muscles tightening, and all of a sudden I was really worried that he was going to lose his temper. Steve seemed embarrassed, but Quil looked positively gleeful as he answered.

"We were just running the border and we heard _something…_"

I gave Jake's arm a squeeze, silently telling him, _calm down_. Jacob glanced at me, and as his eyes met mine, he managed to reign in his annoyance. He was already in control before he turned back to his stocky friend.

"Well, that's very interesting… you'd better go and find out what it was," he replied calmly.

"We already did," smirked Quil, and I went a slightly deeper shade of pink. Seeing that Jake wasn't going to take the bait, Quil added mischievously. "You know it's nice to see that you two really are dating after all, you're so guarded with your thoughts about her, Jake; we were all starting to wonder if you were making the whole thing up."

I was relieved to hear that Jacob had such good mental control; I did sometimes worry about what the pack might have seen. I noticed Steve watching me with an uneasy expression.

Quil then added, with an infuriating grin. "I should have guessed you'd be the _outdoor_ type, Jake."

Keeping me well behind him, Jacob crossed his arms. "You'd know all about that, wouldn't you, Quil," he said in a smooth tone. "Have you ever considered that Claire might appreciate it, if you'd learn to guard your thoughts, too?"

This comment instantly wiped the smirk off Quil's face and Steve smothered a laugh. I suddenly felt very sorry for Claire. This shared pack mind was a nightmare for the wives and girlfriends. Knowing how obsessed the wolves often became with their imprints, it was a miracle if they ever thought of anything else.

I suddenly wondered why Jake found it so easy _not_ to think of me. He was still standing with his back to me, so he didn't catch my frown. By the time he looked in my direction, my features were carefully wiped of expression. He gently took my hand and began to lead me away.

"Let's go."

Jacob threw a stern glance at the others when we passed them, and once we were some distance away, I heard Steve grumble resentfully to Quil.

"Nice going, man. You know he _hates _us talking about her… and I have to work with him on Monday."

I gave Jake a sideways glance. "Is that true?" I wondered if he was trying to play down his relationship with me, to the rest of the pack.

He looked down at me with a puzzled expression. "Of course it is."

"Ok." I nodded with acceptance.

I had to admit that it made sense. I hadn't forgotten the looks that I'd received from the young pack members on a number of occasions. However Jacob felt about me, to the rest of the wolves I was still a half-leech. I gently eased my fingers out of his hold and slipped my hand into my pocket. Jake reached over and recaptured my hand. Keeping a tight hold on my fingers, he gazed down at me.

"I'm not ashamed of us, if that's what you're thinking."

"I know you're not ashamed." I met his eyes. "But I do understand that they probably don't like me very much."

He snorted with laughter and I instantly felt hurt. This time I wrenched my hand away and started walking at a faster pace. He didn't let me get far; he caught my arm and held me fast.

"Hey, wait. Let me explain…"

I spun around and scowled at him.

Jacob rolled his eyes. "God, Nessie, could you try not being so touchy, just this once?" My eyes narrowed and he sighed. "Ok, I can see that's impossible. But if you'd let me finish, honey, there would be less need for the drama."

"Well?" I said sharply. "What's so funny?"

"I know you don't understand the way that other people see you. But take it from me; most men _really_ notice you – even the wolves." I threw him an incredulous look and he raised his eyebrows. "I'm telling you, you don't even smell like a vampire to them, you smell great. And to make matters worse, you've got that whole 'superpower' thing going on."

I pulled an extremely sour face. "So?"

"So, it's ok for the guys who've imprinted – they don't really see anything beyond their mates – but hardly any of the new pack members have. Most of them really struggle not to let me know how attracted they are to you, and I don't want to make things worse; they find it hard enough to control their thoughts anyway. And quite frankly, I'm getting tired of their teen fantasies. So I try not to talk, or think, about you when I'm with the younger ones."

Seeing that I was still sceptical, he added with an exasperated laugh. "Do you know how hard I have to work, not to have you in my mind every second? But I want to keep things between us private; I don't want to turn you into a peep show for the other guys, Nessie."

I threw him a grudging smile. "Ok, fine."

He shook his head. "Of course, my good work will be undone, when Steve and Quil show everyone their memories of today. The next few days are going to be hell…" he added with a groan.

Flushing red, I looked away and tried to think of a distraction. I quickly came up with one and broke into a jog.

"Race you home," I called over my shoulder, giving Jake no time to react, before taking off through the trees.

He could easily outrun me as a wolf, but I was faster when he was in human form. He didn't bother to phase, so I reached the edge of the forest well before him.

I broke out of the trees just by the Hunter boys' back yard. The twins were outside on the scrubby grass, playing football with a few of the boys from both Sam and Jake's packs. As usual, they were all wearing just shorts and shoes, in spite of the cold, damp air.

As soon as I appeared, they all stopped what they were doing and turned towards me. I could hear their hearts racing as they gazed in my direction. I began to wonder if what Jake had told me was actually true and instantly felt very self-conscious. I hovered near the trees, hoping that he would arrive soon, and tried to be inconspicuous.

Unfortunately, Jamie foiled my attempt to blend into the background. "Hey, Nessie," he called out in a friendly voice. _"Catch!"_

A second later the football flew through the air towards me. My competitive streak won through, and I sprung up and plucked it out of the air. I felt that I'd won a small victory for my sex with such a nice move, and had to work hard not to look a little bit smug. Jamie jogged towards me, while the others hung back, watching him with curiosity.

"Nice catch." He halted a couple of feet away and gazed down at me with a very cocky smile. "You're fast."

I heard a couple of snickers from the others, as his brother commented loudly. "Nice going, man, that's real smooth."

Making a concerted effort to ignore our audience, I handed Jamie the football. "Um… thanks." I then turned towards the trees, still on the lookout for Jake.

But before I could move away, he stopped me. "Wait a second." I glanced up, with my eyebrows raised questioningly, and he reached out one of his long brown arms. "You've got something in your hair."

"Oh." I put my hand up to my hair, but Jamie beat me to it. He leaned in close and plucked a large twig out of my ponytail.

"There you go," he said, holding my gaze as a triumphant smile played on his lips. "You look much better now."

Before I could say anything, a roar from the forest interrupted me.

"_What the hell's going on?"_

I jumped and turned to see Jake storming out of the woods towards us. The look on his face startled me, and Jamie took several hasty steps back. Stepping between us, Jake caught hold of my arm and pushed me behind him.

"Jake…!" I started to speak, but he ignored me and rounded on Jamie.

"Don't you value your life? Or do you think it's ok to get so close to her?"

Jamie started to stammer an explanation. "Sorry… I'm sorry… I was just…"

But Jake cut him short. "How much temptation do you think she can stand?" He demanded angrily. "Don't you know that she craves _young _blood?"

I was too surprised to speak when I heard this wild assertion. My jaw dropped open. Jamie just shook his head in horror as Jacob towered over him menacingly.

"And if she bites you, there's nothing anyone can do. Her venom will spread and you'll die a slow and _agonising_ death. Unless she drains you dry first, which," – he added darkly – "would probably be preferable."

Having rendered both of us speechless, Jake turned to me and said sternly. "How often have I told you to stay away from the pack? They're just _kids...!_"

"Jake…" I choked, but he just caught hold of my hand and started walking, pulling me along with him.

"Come on. Let's get out of here… before you lose control."

I looked back over my shoulder, to discover that Jamie was watching us with a shaken expression. As we crossed the yard towards the main road, we passed the other boys, who all stepped away fearfully. Jake pointedly ignored them and I was too shocked to manage a goodbye. When we reached the road, it was several minutes before I could speak.

I finally gasped. "I can't _believe _you said that!" I wasn't even angry. I was still too stunned.

Jake looked very pleased with himself. "Maybe he'll keep his hands to himself from now on."

I yanked Jacob to a standstill. "_What?_ By telling him that I want to drink his blood! I'm not even _venomous_, damn it!" I yelled. The anger was finally surfacing. "Now everyone will be saying that I tried to _eat_ Jamie Hunter!"

Jake rolled his eyes and looked infuriatingly unperturbed. "No way. One of the guys will set him straight, and everyone will think he's a dumbass for believing me – which he is!"

I considered this idea and had to admit that it was probably true. After a minute I said grudgingly. "You'd better be right, because if any rumours start spreading, I'll never come here again, and you'll only have _yourself_ to blame!"

He gave a wide grin. "You need to lighten up, honey. Everything will be fine."

"I don't know why you had to say anything," I grumbled, as we continued along the muddy road.

"Listen, Nessie," he said, glancing at me with a semi-serious expression. "If I hadn't done that, I probably would have smacked him upside the head. And since I'm not actually psycho enough to attack a teenage boy, it seemed like the better option. No one gets to touch you, but me. Got it?"

I grimaced. "How _wonderful_."

He just looked smug. "You know you love it."

"Humph."

Jake laughed and kept a tight grip on my hand the whole way back to his house. My car was parked there, because I was planning to drive straight from La Push to Seattle that evening. As always, when it was time to go, I found it nearly impossible to leave.

Before climbing into my car, I turned to kiss Jacob goodbye. He trapped me between himself and the car door, by bracing his arms against the car roof on either side of me, and taking a step forward. I slid my hands around his waist and tugged him a little closer.

"Has anyone ever told you that you're irresistible?" He said, leaning towards me with a slow smile.

He then proceeded to sweep my hair away from my shoulder, before dipping his head and softly brushing his lips along my throat. I thought about his question and smirked. As a matter of fact, a number of guys _had_ told me that very thing. Of course, I don't think any of them were actually sober at the time, so that rather devalued their compliments.

"Yes," I said bluntly.

"Was it Jamie Hunter?" he teased.

"No," I answered evasively, as his mouth continued its journey down my neck and along my collarbone. "It wasn't him…"

Jake pulled his head back and grinned. "Whoever it was, he was right."

"I think you mean _they_ were right."

He raised his eyebrows and tried not to laugh. "I'm glad that so many people are in agreement."

"As long as _you_ think it, that's the important thing." I smiled up at him.

He met my eyes for a long moment and his expression changed. "I'm thinking it more and more."

As he held my gaze, I could see the desire, which he had been trying so hard to conceal, smouldering behind his eyes. His words, and the longing expression which went with them, made me feel excited and nervous at the same time. I could suddenly feel butterflies in the pit of my stomach.

With a shy smile, I caught my arm around his neck and pulled him down to kiss me. "Good."

"Are you _sure_ you don't want me to come and see you next weekend?" He used his most persuasive tone.

I was planning to spend the following weekend studying in Seattle. And Jake had a heap of work to finish at the garage, before our vacation, so we weren't going to be seeing each other for two weeks. I smiled and shook my head.

"You know I'd _love_ you to. But if you visit, neither of us will get any work done."

"Fine." He gave a resigned sigh.

"But in two weeks, we'll be in California and we can see plenty of each other."

I ran my fingers along his neck and sent him an image of Half Moon Bay. I chose a picture that made it look very scenic and ever so slightly romantic. He cheered up instantly.

"I can't wait," he murmured, pressing soft kisses to my lips.

I don't know how I tore myself away that day. It wasn't easy, especially as I knew that I wouldn't be seeing Jacob for two whole weeks. I wasn't thrilled about being separated for so long, but I was sure that our trip would make up for it. A small part of me hoped that after so many days apart, Jacob would be putty in my hands.

I must admit that I was feeling _very_ hopeful on the drive back to Seattle. In spite of the embarrassment of being caught in the woods by Quil and Steve, the day's events had made me feel extremely optimistic. It was obvious that Leo had been right. Jake wasn't going to hold out forever, in fact, I could already see large cracks appearing in his resolve.

It was also apparent that Leo's other advice – about getting far away from anyone who could get in the way – was spot on. Jake and I would never get anywhere if we were surrounded by wolves. Nothing could kill a romantic mood quicker than the appearance of one of those guys. The concept of privacy was entirely alien to the pack.

It was wonderful to know that in two weeks I would be free of them, my family, and everyone but Jacob.

I couldn't wait…

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**So Nessie's plan is starting to come together...**

**Just a quick thank you for last weeks reviews and list additions. They were great :) And also a big thanks for reading!**

**Have a really nice week, Mad :)**


	26. Nessie, Mr Morals

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

* * *

><p><strong>As always, a thank you to willowbae, my beta and fellow Internet addict :)<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 26.<strong>

**Nessie – Mr Morals**

I was feeling very cheerful on the following Monday, but I should have known that it was too good to last. That was the day on which I made the foolish mistake of mentioning my surfing trip to my mother.

On Tuesday I got a call from Jacob. I was in my room, working on an essay, when the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Nessie." He sounded subdued.

"Jake, are you ok?"

I was worried; did he have bad news? Had something happened to him, or Grandpa, or Billy? Maybe Seth was in trouble… or Katherine?

Thankfully, he didn't beat around the bush. "Don't panic; everything's fine. I'm sorry to do this to you, honey, but I won't be able to take you to Mavericks after all." At least he sounded regretful, but that was nothing compared to the way that I felt.

"_Oh…_" I couldn't keep the disappointment out of my voice.

"I'm sorry, I know I promised. I really wanted to go, but I've got so much on at work… and Steve really doesn't know what he's doing yet..."

He carried on listing reasons for this let down, but I stopped listening. My mind was turning, trying to figure out the truth. His excuses certainly didn't convince me. I followed my gut and said.

"It was my father, wasn't it? He told you not to take me."

Jake couldn't lie to me. He was quiet for a moment, clearly reluctant to tell tales. In the end his loyalty to me won through. "He _asked_ me not to."

"What's the big deal; we've often gone away together on hunting trips."

"Edward doesn't see it that way. I guess he doesn't trust me," he added, with an edge to his voice. "I mean, I did try to explain that it's not _that_ kind of vacation, I even told him that you'd booked separate rooms, but I don't think he believed it."

It seemed that my father knew me better than Jacob did.

But I still couldn't believe that Jake had let him spoil all my plans. My frustration and disappointment came spilling out, as I turned on him accusingly.

"So, you care more about what _he_ wants, than what _I _want."

Jake sounded hurt. "It's not like that."

"Yes it is," I exclaimed bitterly. "You could just ignore him. I thought you wanted to go away with me."

Jake was keeping his voice controlled – years of being an Alpha had taught him impressive anger management skills. "It's not as simple as that," he explained patiently. "I have to respect his wishes when it comes to you."

"_Why?_" I sounded like a sulky child and this knowledge did nothing to improve my mood.

"Oh, come on, Nessie." The impatience leaked into his voice. "You don't need me to explain how tough things would be if I was at war with Edward, especially for you. Would it really make your life easier if I just ignored him and did whatever I wanted?"

"I don't know. What _do_ you want?" I asked petulantly. I wasn't sure that I knew anymore.

He sighed. "Right now, I want you to understand that I'm doing this for your sake, and stop giving me a hard time."

I was angry, but not enough to be entirely unjust. Jacob's hands were tied and we both knew it. It was just another shining example of my father's control-freakishness. Wasn't I lucky? I had my very own moral policeman.

"Ok, ok…" I grumbled. "I get it. Don't worry about it."

Jake sounded a combination of relieved and dissatisfied. "You know how sorry I am, don't you?"

"Sure." _Yeah right_.

At that point I was still too disappointed to really believe him. He must have known it, by the tone of my voice, but he didn't argue with me. The rest of our conversation was brief. I was in a sulk and refused to speak in anything but monosyllables. Jake tried his best to lift my mood, but after five minutes of evasive answers and long silences, he gave up and promised to call me later.

After we had finished speaking, I couldn't go back to writing my stupid essay. Instead, I spent the rest of the afternoon lying on my bed, flicking through Dungeons and Dragons books and feeling grumpy.

My dad called me that evening. He sounded very relaxed and didn't mention my trip. It was a weird conversation. We both knew that my plans had been thwarted, but neither of us was going to admit to anything. I certainly wasn't about to confess that my motives for the vacation were anything but entirely virtuous. And my dad didn't know that Jacob had told me of his interference.

It was infuriating how cheerful he sounded. He just chatted about the family and kept the tone light. He couldn't have failed to notice that I wasn't my usual talkative self, but he refrained from comment. It was only when we were saying goodbye that my curiosity got the better of me and I brought up my conversation with Jake.

I decided to feign innocence, and said in a casual voice. "Before I forget, would you mind telling Mom that I won't be going to Mavericks, after all?"

"Of course not," he answered nonchalantly, and then made me grit my teeth by asking. "Why not?"

"Jake said he wouldn't be able to take me after all." I stuck to the official explanation. "He's going to be too busy with work."

I wondered if my dad might feel a little guilty for spoiling all my plans, but he sounded quite the opposite as he pretended to console me. "That's too bad, sweetheart."

I wasn't about to let him know how disappointed I was, so I just added pleasantly. "I've decided to spend my study week at Grandpa's instead. I'm sure I'll get plenty of work done."

"You could always come to New Hampshire," my dad suggested eagerly. "We'd love to see you, Nessie. Why don't you fly over?"

Ordinarily I would have been pleased by this suggestion, but at that moment, I would have rather died than accept his invitation. There was absolutely _no way_ I was going to spend study week – which should have been my special romantic vacation – with my family. I had been beaten, but I wasn't about to roll over.

I bit back my irritation and attempted to sound grateful. "Thanks Dad, but I already have plans."

"Well, if you change your mind, just let us know," he replied affably.

_Maybe when hell freezes over!_

We said goodbye and I was left feeling extremely aggrieved. I was convinced that my father was the most puritanical kill-joy ever to walk the face of the earth. I brooded for an hour, until my need to unburden myself got the better of me and I called Katherine. Fortunately for me, she was at the cottage and picked up straight away.

Katherine listened to my tale of woe with great sympathy. It was only after I had whined for ten minutes that she decided to pass comment. She pointed out that since my dad _had_ figured out my plan, his behaviour was hardly surprising.

"What did you think he was going to do, Nessie? Toss you a room key and say 'go for it.'"

"Well, no…" I admitted grudgingly.

She continued in a very matter-of-fact way. "Seriously, from what you've told me about your dad's values, by his standards he _was_ being open-minded. I mean, he didn't get angry with you, did he? Or try to forbid you from seeing Jake."

"No."

"In fact, he didn't say anything at all. He just put a stop to it, without even lecturing you. I'd say you got off lightly."

I couldn't believe that she was sticking up for my dad, and I became rather sullen. "So are you saying I should be _grateful?_"

Luckily, Katherine wasn't remotely offended by my resentful tone, she just laughed. "No, I know you're disappointed, I'm just trying to remind you that it could have been much worse. Believe me, I know…"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you should have seen _my _dad, Nessie. If he'd known about some of the stuff that I got up to, he would have banished me to one of those institutions for delinquent girls, either that or broken my neck."

"You're kidding, right?" She had mentioned her dad before. I knew he'd pushed her in her athletics training, but I hadn't realised that things were quite so difficult in other ways.

"I wish I was." She sounded grave. "I was just lucky that he never caught me. My dad was a marine and he was hard bastard; I swear, he ruled our family with a rod of iron. Things had to be done his way, or else…"

As she spoke, Katherine's bitterness was unmistakeable. "You couldn't talk to him; there was never any room for compromise. Like the way he pushed my brother Bobby into the marines. It was awful.

"Bobby was such a nice guy, he was always happy, but my dad just wouldn't let up. So my brother ended up in the military, and his first tour of duty changed him…" Her voice was suspended for a moment, before she added. "He was killed on his second."

There was a long pause, and when she continued her voice was laced with anger. "After that, I could hardly bear to speak to my dad. It was lucky that he was stationed abroad and that I was on a scholarship, so at least I didn't really have to. I was actually _glad_ to know that when I was turned, he lost me too. He didn't deserve either of us."

This piece of her family history was completely new to me, I don't think that she started with the intention of telling me, but somehow it had all spilled out. The depth of animosity implied in her final statement shocked me. Things must have been very bad for Katherine to feel this way.

"I'm sorry… about your brother," I said quietly. "I didn't know."

"Thanks, that's nice of you to say. I don't like to talk about him much; it still makes me too sad." She sounded very wistful. "I know it happened a long time ago, but I don't think I'll ever stop missing him."

I could hear in her tone that the pain of her brother's death had not diminished in over fifty years. It certainly put my petty irritation with my father into perspective. At this point my anger waned enough for me to admit that I was going to have to let it go.

I wasn't exactly pleased with him, and I didn't want him to win the war, but on this occasion my dad had outsmarted me and I knew it. I had no choice, I was going to have to accept this defeat with good grace, or be left looking like a fool.

All I knew was that he may have got the better of me this time, but _next_ time, things might be different.

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Just a little note to say thank you to my reviewers. I always enjoy reading your comments :)**

**Also, thank you for reading, have a great week, Mad :)**


	27. Nessie, the slip

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks to willowbae for being a wonderful beta :)<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 27.<strong>

**Nessie – the slip**

No one likes a sore loser, so for the rest of the week I attempted to rise above my feelings of disappointment. I was also extra nice to Jacob on the phone, to make up for being so sulky about the cancellation of our trip. I didn't want him to think that I held him responsible. No, I knew _exactly _who was to blame!

Although my plans to go on vacation with Jake had been successfully quashed, I still wanted to spend my study week away from college, in Forks. I decided that I would stick to my original plan, and spend the coming weekend in Seattle, finishing my college work. I would much rather have been with Jacob, but at least this would free up my time during study week.

On Friday afternoon my roommate, Kristy, left Seattle. Unlike me, she was going home to Forks. She wanted to spend the weekend with her boyfriend, Jason, so I had our room all to myself. Although I hardly dared admit it, it _was_ rather nice and quiet.

After I had finished my classes for the day, I spent the afternoon studying peacefully in my room without the distraction of a talkative roommate. It was very pleasant; the low winter sun was shining through the window, making my surroundings feel very mellow.

I had resisted the temptation of filling my weekend with social events, and had showed an unusual level of conscientiousness by sitting down at my desk, and starting work, straight after finishing my classes. Unfortunately, I wasn't feeling very focused that afternoon, and I found myself contemplating whether or not I should give Jake a quick call.

Having already spoken to Jacob at lunchtime, I wasn't sure if I could justify calling him again during the afternoon, after all, he _had_ mentioned that he was really busy at work. I decided to wait until later, but was very pleased when my phone started to ring. I hoped it was him and eagerly reaching for my phone. It turned out to be my mom on the caller id.

"Hey, Mom," I answered cheerfully.

"Hello, sweetheart." She sounded downcast. "Have I called at a bad time?"

I frowned at the tone of her voice, there was clearly something wrong. "No, not at all, I'm just on my own, studying. Kristy's gone to Forks."

"Oh, right…" she said absently. There was a long pause before she added. "I'm sorry Nessie. I don't want to upset you, but there's really no easy way to tell you this…"

I immediately felt sick with apprehension. "What's wrong? Are you ok?"

"Don't worry, I'm fine." She tried to reassure me, but I could tell that there was a serious problem.

"Please Mom, tell me."

She gave a quiet sigh. "Jasper has had a slip."

I tried to understand what my mother was saying, but I just felt ill. It must have been a truly terrible fall for Uncle Jasper to be injured, he was virtually indestructible. I couldn't imagine what had happened. Although my heart was in my throat, I still managed to ask.

"Is he hurt badly?"

It was a relief that I was alone in my room. There was no way I could keep up the façade of normality during this conversation; I was already teetering on the edge. Bracing myself for bad news, I waited for her explanation. I hardly dared listen to the reply.

"No, Nessie," my mother said gently. "He's alright. I didn't mean that kind of slip." She sounded as if she was searching for the right words. "I can't really explain over the phone, but I meant that he's had a _lapse _and we have to leave New Hampshire."

My mind was sent reeling by these words. "Do you mean..?" I gasped. Was she saying that Uncle Jasper had _killed _someone?

"Yes," she cut me short. She clearly didn't want me to ask any incriminating questions over the phone. I hardly knew what to say, so she continued to speak in a firm voice. "We're already packing for the move. That's what I wanted to tell you Nessie. We are making new arrangements, nothing's been confirmed yet, but you'll be able to reach us on our cells."

I was having trouble keeping up. "What about Uncle Jasper, is he ok?"

"He's fine; he and Alice have gone up to Quebec for a while. They're both devastated. She saw it coming, but she was too late…" My mother's voice was suspended by grief.

"Mom, I…" I wanted to comfort her, but nothing I could think of saying was remotely adequate. I just stared at the floor, fixating on a pen, which was lying near my foot.

"Don't worry, sweetheart. Everything's going to be fine," she replied, without conviction. "I just don't want you to be upset."

Why would I be upset that my uncle had just committed a murder?

"Don't worry about me, I'm fine," I said in a colourless tone.

"I'm so sorry, Nessie." She sounded completely anguished. "I just wish I was there with you."

"I do too."

My mom gave me a rough idea of what they were planning and said that she would call me as soon as they knew more. We spoke for a few more minutes, before she passed me over to my dad. The reality of what had happened hadn't quite filtered through, so I was still able to sound calm as I greeted him.

"Hey, Dad."

"Nessie." His voice was stiff; I guessed that he must be very unhappy. "I'm sorry about this, sweetheart."

"I know," I whispered.

"Don't worry; we've been here before – admittedly not for a while – and we still know the drill."

I flinched at the thought, but tried to keep my voice steady. "Ok."

"We'll have everything sorted out before you know it," he said bracingly.

As I listened to his words, the very last of my happiness drained away and the world suddenly seemed very bleak. No one in my family had lapsed during my lifetime. I knew it had happened in the past, but had naively believed that those unstable days were behind us.

And now we had to leave our home in New Hampshire. I loved that house, with its airy rooms and beautiful old garden, and I realised that I would never see it again. And as for Uncle Jasper, I couldn't even face thinking about what he had done. I felt tears stinging my eyes as my throat became completely constricted. I couldn't answer my father at all.

Fortunately, he didn't seem to need any replies. He just continued to speak as if everything was fine. I could barely concentrate on what he was saying; I was so busy trying to make sense of this shocking news. He caught my attention though, when he said.

"Renesmee, I need to talk to you about what you're going to tell Jacob, regarding this situation."

"What do you mean?" I managed to choke out. What did this have to do with Jake?

My dad's voice became very serious. "It would probably be better to tell him that we're moving because someone became suspicious of the family. I don't think it would be wise to mention Jasper's slip."

"Why not?" I wasn't exactly dying to tell Jacob the news. But I certainly had no plans to conceal it from him either.

"Jasper has broken the treaty."

I hadn't given any thought to this, but my father's words were a sharp reminder of my family's agreement with the tribe. No member of the family was to bite a human. But Jake had allowed my father to turn my mother, he'd had that authority, he still did. And when all those vampires had come to stay with us, before the Volturi visited, the wolves had accepted it.

"Jake doesn't have to enforce the treaty," I said quietly. "He didn't before, over Mom, or when the others came to stay."

My father sounded exasperated as he replied. "Those were exceptional circumstances, and both packs were in agreement on those occasions. Your mother was dying, and the Volturi were a threat to everyone, including the wolves."

"So what are you saying?" I asked in disbelief. "That Jake would have to declare war on us, because of something that happened nowhere near La Push?"

My father had to be joking, Jacob was no fool.

"No, of course not," he answered sternly. "No one would advocate that, not even Sam. After all, we're hardly ever in Forks, and a war would be hazardous to everyone."

My temper was a little frayed by this point. "So what's the problem?"

"The problem is," my dad explained slowly. "As soon as he knows about this, the onus will be upon Jacob to do _something_. He'll have to speak to the elders and arrange meetings with Sam and the other wolves. On principal he won't be allowed to just ignore it. You would be exempt, but he might end up asking the rest of the family to stay away from the peninsula. And, as none of us want a war, we'd have to capitulate."

I pictured how my mother would feel if she was banished. Visiting Grandpa and her friends in Washington meant a lot to her; she would be made miserable. Worst of all, the good relations between my family and the wolves would be over. Jacob wouldn't want that, no one would.

"I can't see Jake doing something like that," I said, biting my lip.

"I know he'd rather not, but it would certainly put him an awkward position, because of his relationship with you. The pack might not be entirely pleased with Jacob turning a blind eye to Jasper's indiscretion, and overruling the treaty, just because he's imprinted on a member of our family. It was done before, in a time of crisis, but we can't pull that card forever."

I had nothing to say to this and my father added. "Let me ask you one question. How can it possibly benefit Jacob to know about this?"

"I… I don't know," I stammered. "But, I can't lie to him."

"Do you think that he really wants to deal with this?" My father asked in a grim voice. "Would it profit his relationship with you? The wolves already have plenty of reasons to think badly of you, Renesmee; do you think that Jacob wants to have you tainted by association? Do you think that he really needs the pack to know this new piece of information about _your_ family?"

The tears, which had been stinging my eyes, finally spilled over and trickled down my cheeks. "So, what are you suggesting?" I whispered.

"I'm suggesting that you show some family loyalty, and keep this matter to yourself. It won't hurt Jacob if you do. I'm sure he'd prefer not to know, anyway. He already has enough problems to deal with."

"I don't know… I can't think straight." That was the simple truth. Everything in my head felt completely jumbled.

My father's voice cut through the confusion. "I know it's difficult for you, but you have to understand, Nessie. This is what we are. This isn't the first time something like this has happened and I doubt that it will be the last. We have to stick together, it's the only way. This situation is already causing us a great deal of trouble; please don't make it any more complicated than it needs to be."

Everything in me rebelled against the idea of lying to Jacob. I wanted to tell him the truth. But I felt helpless under the weight of my father's words.

If I could keep my mouth shut, then everything would be able to continue without any complications. My family could start again, and no one would have to be hurt, or burdened with unnecessary problems. It would be as if nothing had happened. Could I learn to live with that?

"Ok."

As I agreed to my father's suggestion, I felt a sharp pain in my chest, as if my heart was crying out in protest. I had promised Jake that I wouldn't lie to him, and here I was, ready to break that vow. Although I occasionally told him little white lies, I would never have dreamed of deceiving Jacob over something serious. I actually felt sick. My father, on the other hand, sounded relieved.

"I know it's not the ideal solution Nessie, but you're doing the right thing."

That wasn't how it felt to me, but I wasn't about to argue the point. I just wanted to end this awful conversation as quickly as possible.

"Alright," I said hurriedly. "But, you will let me know what's happening, when you finalise your plans?"

"Of course we will." He was quiet for a moment, before saying. "Don't worry Nessie, everything will be fine."

"Ok, Dad."

Nothing was going to be fine. I already knew that.

"We'll talk soon, goodbye sweetheart."

"Bye."

The line went dead.

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Thank you to last weeks reviewers, I loved your very interesting comments.**

**Thanks for reading, have a great week, Mad :)**

**(It's probably worth mentioning that Nessie promised Jake that she would never lie to him again in chapter 7 of 'Nessie and Jake, Phases'). **


	28. Nessie, blood on my hands

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

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><p><strong>Thank you to my fantastic beta willowbae :)<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 28.<strong>

**Nessie – blood on my hands**

I hung up the phone and sat very still. I could barely see; my vision was so blurred with tears. Taking a long breath, I clenched my hand into a tight fist, crushing my phone completely. I blinked away the tears and noticed all the tendons on my arm standing out, as I reduced the handset to a crumpled ball of plastic and metal.

"_Goddammit!_" I cursed through clenched teeth, before springing to my feet and hurling the remains of my dead phone against the wall.

The strength of the impact was such that the phone made a loud cracking sound, as it hit the masonry and shattered into tiny fragments. For a second I felt exhilarated – I had never done anything so wantonly destructive before – but then I just felt stupid. My phone was now broken and there was a hole in the wall.

_"Argh!"_ I found myself fighting back the urge to punch an even bigger one next to it.

What the hell had Uncle Jasper been thinking? Couldn't he control himself at all? Bitter thoughts swirled through my head, along with the knowledge that the whole family was going to have to pay for this sin. Maybe it was karmic justice, I wasn't sure, but I had no doubt that the price would be heavy.

My dad had already explained what my initial payment would be; I was going to become a liar. I understood that by concealing this murder, I was complicit in it. The family came first, it didn't matter who we trampled along the way.

The victim could have been anyone, Oliver, Kristy, Grandpa…! Who cared if they had a life and family of their own? It seemed to me that, as far as the Cullens were concerned, the human race was expendable. My elitist family would do anything to shield itself.

I began to wonder what else I would have to do, and how far I would be prepared to go for them. I had already agreed to lie to Jacob. I wasn't even doing it for a noble cause. I was just protecting a killer. Because of Uncle Jasper, someone wasn't coming home tonight…

I flinched as I imagined how much pain this was going to cause the people who were waiting for them. This death felt very personal to me. It was strange that after years spent in the company of vampires – including ones like Zafrina, who were _still_ feeding on humans – that I should suddenly feel guilty now. Why hadn't I cared before?

Thinking about the past in this new light, I could only feel shocked and remorseful. I sank onto my bed. How could I have been so blind, so callus? No wonder Jake called vampires leeches. They wanted to suck the life's blood out of everyone they met. Hadn't Uncle Jasper done just that?

Perched on my bed, staring into nothingness, I had a moment of blinding illumination. I had spent a lifetime meticulously avoiding the truth, but now everything became clear to me. Every member of my family had a deep craving for human blood. This was fundamental to their existence, because they were vampires.

Technically, I had always known this, but it had taken me this long to face what it really meant. For instance – although I had previously denied it – I now knew that my father really _had_ wanted to feed from my mother when she was human. He had repressed the urge, but it had still been there. I felt shocked and disgusted, just thinking about it.

And then I realised that Jacob had always known this, he had just played it down to protect me. For the first time in my life I really understood Jake's point of view, and saw that he was _right!_ Everyone in the pack was right.

It was more than a formality, which made them uphold the treaty; it was a necessity and always would be. My family's defensive line had always been that they were _reformed_ killers. But Uncle Jasper had just blown that claim out of the water. They would always represent a real threat to the luckless humans that they encountered.

As these awful realisations hit me, I started to shake and my breathing became laboured. I remembered that I had fainted once before, and quickly rested my head on my pillow, while taking deep, steadying breaths of air. I felt sick, but after a minute the light-headedness passed. Drawing my legs onto the bed, I curled myself into a ball and hid my face in my hands.

As I struggled to hold myself together, the only person I could think about was Jacob. I wanted to call him, but then I remembered that I couldn't, because I had destroyed my phone in a moment of total idiocy. Just the thought that I couldn't speak to him made me feel panic-stricken. I needed him so much that my whole body ached. When I was with Jake, he made everything right.

For one wild moment, I considered driving straight to La Push. I wanted to feel his arms around me and hear his reassuring voice. Jake would look after me; he would tell me that I didn't have to be afraid. I didn't care about the promise that I had just made to my father, I would tell Jacob everything. I couldn't lie to him. I loved him the most.

I dragged myself off my bed and roughly brushed away my tears. I would to leave for La Push right away. Who cared about my stupid family? They had no right to burden me with this nightmare. I stumbling across the room, and grabbed my purse and car keys; I wasn't thinking about packing a bag, I just wanted to get to Jacob as quickly as possible.

The whole time my head was buzzing with angry thoughts. Why couldn't my family have kept this filthy crime to themselves? I had never killed anyone, why did they have to drag me into it? They could have fed me some excuse about the move and I would have been none the wiser. I could have escaped feeling this way.

But no… now I was part of it. I was helping to conceal a murder, so there was blood on my hands too.

I reached for the door handle, and held myself in check, as my father's words came to mind. 'How can it possibly benefit Jacob to know about this?' If I told Jake, wouldn't I be smearing him with the same blood? I was so keen to offload my troubles onto him, that I hadn't questioned whether or not it was right.

I was well aware that Jake wouldn't want me to lie to him, but I didn't want him to be sullied for my sake. I wanted to keep him clean. Surely that was more important? After all, it wasn't _his_ family who were murderers. Why should he have to bear this guilty burden? And why should he have to go through the shame of explaining to his pack that his girlfriend's family were still killers, and then be left to deal with the inevitable fallout?

Pulling my trembling hand away from the door handle, I stood very still and made the decision. Jacob was not going to be touched by what Uncle Jasper had done. Even if it made me into a dirty liar, I wasn't going to let this murder stain him as well.

I felt too defeated to step away from the door, and I couldn't to go to Jake, so I slid down to the floor, with my back against the wall, in a state of utter hopelessness. Pulling my knees up to my chest, I wrapped my arms around my legs and hid my tearstained face. I didn't move from that position all night.

I heard the occasional sounds of voices in the corridor, as girls passed my room, but I was grateful that no one knocked on my door. As the hours slipped by, the room slowly darkened, until the only light was coming from the streetlamps outside, and from the crack under the door.

I didn't mind. I just stayed huddled against the wall. For once, the darkness felt safe, rather than frightening. It gave me a quiet place to think. I did nothing else for hours, and my thoughts were filled with grief and anger. I felt such an overwhelming sense of rage that I hardly knew where to direct it.

My father definitely received his fair share; Mr Morals, whose history of murder and mayhem didn't stop him believing that he was in a position to make decisions for Jacob and me.

And I was angry with the rest of the family, for all the terrible things that they had done. How many unmarked graves existed because of them? How many bereaved families, left wondering what had happened to their loved ones? I was even upset with my mother, for standing by and passively accepting it. How _could_ she?

But most of all, my anger was directed inwards. I hated the fact that I was a freak and an outsider. I hated knowing that I would never be clean enough for Jacob. It didn't matter how hard I tried to live decently, I would never escape from the dark shadows that plagued my family.

I found myself wishing that Jake hadn't imprinted on me. He shouldn't have been sentenced to a life with someone like me. He should have imprinted on some nice human girl who wasn't contaminated, who didn't come from a family of murderers, and hadn't been fed on human blood; a girl who didn't _need_ to lie to him.

I caught my breath just thinking about it, and my heart throbbed painfully. Something told me that I was going to have to get used to that feeling.

Ever so slowly the night wore on, and my room gradually grew lighter. Sometime just before the dawn, my eyelids lowered and I drifted into an uneasy sleep.

_I found myself in a bare stone room, circular in shape, with a cavernous ceiling. The only light was filtering through the narrow windows, high above my head. I already knew that I wasn't alone. I had been in this place before. I couldn't see the werewolf, but I knew that it was locked inside with me…_

_This time, however, something was different. I turned to the heavy wooden doors. Time and again they had sealed me into this tomb, but now they were ajar. I heard a rumbling growl behind me, but I didn't look back. Springing forwards, I flew towards the doors and flung them open._

_Instead of bursting into a corridor, to my great relief, I was now in the open air, surrounded by trees. This place was unfamiliar to me, it was unlike the woods at home, the vegetation was different and the air was dry. This unknown forest was dimly lit and peaceful, and I could smell the strong scent of pine. It felt too real to be a dream. _

_I lifted my eyes and peered through the canopy of branches above. A rosy flush was staining the sky; the dawn was approaching. I wanted to witness the sunrise and headed east, hastily pushing through the undergrowth. The trees began to thin and I knew that I was close. _

_Taking the last few eager strides, I broke out of the woods into a wide clearing on the edge of a high cliff. The sun was still just below the horizon, but it was light enough to see a vast and beautiful valley of trees, sprawling towards the rising sun._

_I gazed around me and realised that I was not alone on the ledge. Kneeling on the rocky ground nearby, with his head buried in his hands, was a familiar figure. I started in surprise. What on earth was Leo doing here? _

_He was so lost in thought, that he didn't even notice me. I moved a little closer. He didn't look up. I could hardly believe it was really him. Not because of the location, but because of his countenance. I remembered Leo as an outgoing optimist, but the man before me was clearly in a state of deepest misery. _

_Quietly halting nearby, I watched him with a growing sense of anxiety. Why was he so unhappy? He leaned forward in a gesture of despair. I felt completely helpless as I watched him. It seemed wrong; he shouldn't be feeling this way. Somewhere, deep in my heart, I knew it. I wanted to reach out to him. I wanted to tell him that things would get better._

_I gingerly held out my hand. "Leo."_

_He started at the sound of my voice and his head shot up. "Red?" _

_He spoke my name in disbelief, glancing in my direction, but his eyes seemed to look right through me. Their expression was so anguished that I felt a wave of pity. He didn't know what I did. I had to comfort him; I had to make him understand. _

_"Don't be sad," I said quietly. "There's no need."_

At this moment I awoke with a jolt, and discovered that I was still sitting on the floor. My back was resting against the wall, just as it had been when I had fallen asleep. I hadn't moved an inch. The only change was that my room was noticeably lighter than it had been when I'd closed my eyes. My curtains were still open and I could see that the dawn was breaking.

I let my legs unfold and stretch out across the floor. They felt stiff from being locked in the same position all night. Leaning my head back against the wall, I tried to clear my mind. My dream had been so real, I felt slightly disorientated to wake up and find that I was no longer standing in a dry forest wilderness.

It took a second to remember why I wasn't in my bed. But then the memories came flooding back and I instantly wished that I'd stayed asleep. I winced as the heartache returned. In an effort to distract myself, I considered my dream. It had been so vivid that I had felt as if I was really awake. I had no idea why my subconscious had decided to throw Leo into my thoughts that night.

The strangest thing was the way that I felt when I saw him. Leo was another murderous vampire – his bloodlust had been so strong that he had actually killed the girl he loved – and yet, as I watched him suffer, my heart had ached with pity. I'd wanted to take away his pain. More than that, I had believed that I _could_. What was I thinking?

I was beginning to wonder if I was losing all sense of reason. I shook my head, trying to understand what was happening to me. I tried to convince myself that it was just a reaction to my heightened emotional state. I had clearly been wavering on the edge all night.

Maybe there was truth in the idea that abstract fears belonged to the night, and the morning was the time for cold, hard realities. It certainly felt that way to me. As the early morning light filled my room, I no longer felt confused.

I saw my whole situation with utter clarity. I understood that it was unrealistic to expect my life to be any different; after all, my family were vampires and a shapeshifting wolf had imprinted on me. Those two things would never change, and would never really be compatible.

The best I could do was attempt to keep the peace, and most importantly, try to protect Jacob from the more sordid side of Cullen family life. It had become apparent that the only realistic way to do this was by lying. I certainly couldn't leave him; I was bound to him by something far stronger than my will. So I would become a liar and learn to live with it. If I could keep Jacob clean, it would be worth it.

At least, by this point, I was outwardly calm. Having spent a long night wrestled my feelings into submission; I now had them on a painfully tight leash. I realised that it was now time to stop being a baby, and get up off the floor. I gave a sigh and pulled myself to my feet.

My first act of normality was to inspect the damaged wall. I crossed the room and ran my fingers over the deep mark. I wondered if I had a picture, or something, to cover the hole. Within fifteen minutes, the scar in the wall was hidden, and the fragments of phone had been neatly cleared away and thrown in the trash. To the casual observer, everything was as it should be. I intended to keep up this illusion, whatever it cost me.

Once this was done, I began to follow my usual morning routine. I took a shower, got dressed, choked down some breakfast, brushed my teeth, and made every effort to keep my emotions in check. When these activities had been completed, I went to my desk to study.

Saturday passed without me noticing. I just spent the whole day working without interruption, completely focused on my academics. I successfully managed to distract myself from my problems. I didn't see, or speak to, anyone. I made no attempt to get a new phone. I didn't leave the building.

I'd had so little sleep on the previous night that when I did eventually climb into bed, I fell asleep very quickly. I didn't sleep particularly soundly and awoke unusually early on Sunday morning. I got up straight away. I knew that if I stayed in bed, my thoughts would return to my problems, so I was ready and working at my desk by six thirty.

I wasn't thinking about the outside world at all, and was surprised to hear a knock on my door at around ten in the morning. My thoughts were so absorbed by my studies that it took me a second to register the disturbance. Putting down my pen, I hurried to the door.

I opened it to find a familiar, but unexpected, visitor; a tall, good-looking woman, with mid-length black hair and tanned skin.

"Leah!" I gasped, throwing open the door in surprise. "My goodness, I can't believe it! How are you?"

She gave me a wry smile. "I'm great thanks; I hope you don't mind me dropping by. One of the girls downstairs let me in."

"No, not at all." I finally remembered my manners and invited her into my room. "Please, won't you come in?" As soon as she was inside, I closed the door and turned to her. "So, how are things? How's Greg?"

"He's fine thanks," she said casually, and then tilted her head with a quizzical smile. "So, you're still alive then?"

I was confused by this random question. "I'm sorry?"

"It's just that I was sent here to find out, and I want to be able to report back your state of health with total accuracy." She read my baffled expression and explained. "Apparently no one has been able to get hold of you since Friday. I was asked to come and check you out. I know a number of concerned parties."

I sat down abruptly, on my bed. "Oh! I didn't think." I threw her a guilty look. "I was just so busy working…"

She sat down beside me, looking thoughtful. "Why didn't you switch on your phone?"

_Because it's in tiny pieces at the bottom of the trash can_.

"It's not working very well at the moment," I said, feeling silly. "I need to get a new one. I just didn't have time this weekend, with my studies and everything…"

Leah narrowed her eyes and gave me an appraising look. "Listen Nessie, I don't know what's been going on with you – and quite frankly it's none of my damn business – but Jake is on the verge of driving up to find out what's happened. Seth convinced him to wait until I came by."

I gave a groan. I was so stupid. I had given no thought to whether or not he might be anxious; I had been wholly locked in my own head. I had hardly considered the fact that no one could call my broken phone.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to worry anyone. I was just concentrating on my work…" I trailed off.

"Well, it's lucky that Seth asked me to step in, it will save Jake the trip." She gave me a not unkind smile, as she added. "I know it's not always easy Nessie, Jake has a way of overreacting when it comes to you – blame it on the imprinting – but I can't believe that you really _want _him to be so worried."

"No, of course not." I shook my head remorsefully.

"Well, maybe you can do everyone a favour and give the guy a call. Oh, Seth told me your mom was hoping you'd call her, too."

This additional news didn't concern me in the slightest, but I still said. "Ok, I'll call them both now; I just need to get to a phone."

She held out her cell phone. "Use this."

I smiled gratefully and dialled Jake's number first. He picked up straight away. "Leah?"

"No, it's me."

"Nessie, where have you been?" He sounded so stressed that I felt terrible. "Are you ok, honey? What happened?"

I was acutely aware that Leah was watching me, as I mumbled guiltily. "Don't worry, I'm fine. I'm sorry, I was busy studying and my phone stopped working." I glanced up at her. "Leah's here, she said you were worried."

"It's ok; just tell me you're alright."

I thought about the last two days and answered mechanically. "I'm alright."

"Nessie, do you need me to come to Seattle?"

I wanted to tell him 'yes'. A part of me desperately wanted to see him, but then I reminded myself that I couldn't tell Jacob what was wrong, so I quickly tried to dissuade him from making the drive.

"What for? Everything's fine; I only have a broken phone." I was already lying to him, and I hated myself for it.

Jake was quiet for a moment, before saying. "I know, but…"

He knew something was wrong. I felt sick and panicky. If he came to see me he would guess the truth, I needed more time to prepare myself.

"_Please_, Jake," I found myself pleading. "Don't make a big thing of this. There's no reason to."

"I'm sorry, honey. I can't help worrying about you, that's all."

This made me feel even worse. In spite of the fact that I had caused all this trouble, Jake was apologising to _me_. It was like some sick joke. It took every bit of my self-control not to burst into tears and confess everything there and then. But I couldn't, so I forced myself to speak evenly.

"Don't say sorry, Jake. I'm the one who should apologise; it was entirely _my _fault. I should have known that you'd be anxious. I was an idiot not to call, I'm so sorry. But you really don't need to worry about me. I'm fine… really."

He didn't speak for a second, and I held my breath, afraid that he was about to start questioning me more closely, but he didn't, he just said in a kind voice.

"That's ok. I'm just really glad you're alright." He then added calmly. "Could you pass me over to Leah?"

"Sure, she's right here." I glanced nervously at Leah, and handed her the phone.

Leah was still watching me as she answered. I heard Jake asking if I really was ok, and my breathing hitched. My eyes flew to hers and I was sure that she could see the fear in them. But she just gave a sardonic smile and answered in a laid-back voice.

"She seems ok. No broken bones."

I sighed with relief. She might be a bit harsh sometimes, but apparently Leah wasn't a snitch. She knew that something wasn't quite right, but she wasn't going to stir up any trouble for me. For the first time I really understood why Jacob liked her so much. Leah was prepared to give you back-up when you needed it.

We both said goodbye to Jake, and I promised to call him as soon as I got a new phone. I then called my mom. She didn't say much – because she realised that Leah was with me – but I could tell she was relieved to know that I was ok. I had a feeling that I might get more of a grilling the next time we spoke.

Leah didn't hang around for long after that. She said that she could see I was busy, but I think she was really just trying to give me some space. I thanked her for coming with real gratitude. I knew that if she hadn't sought me out, I would have had Jacob breaking down the door. She assured me that it was no problem, and asked me to come over and visit her sometime.

Just as she was leaving, Leah turned to me with a serious expression. "Look after yourself, Nessie."

I met her gaze and answered quietly. "I will."

After the door closed behind her, I went back to my desk and sat for a long time, just staring out of the window. The day was looking bleak, but that was nothing compared to how I felt inside. I turned away from the wintery scene with a sigh.

What had I done?

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**A big thank you for last weeks reviews and list additions :) And of course a massive thank you for reading.**

**Have a good week, Mad :)**

**p.s. The werewolf in Nessie's dream was a real werewolf, not a shapeshifter like Jake.**


	29. Leo, voices

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks to willowbae for being a dedicated beta and a great friend :)<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 29.<strong>

**Leo – voices**

Hal left the forest. I didn't.

I couldn't…

I just couldn't face returning to my empty life and pretending that everything was fine. I had no idea why it was happening to me after all these years, but I felt as if I was coming apart at the seams. The only place I could stand to be was in the forest. I had gone way past the point of denial; I knew exactly why I needed to be in the woods.

When I was alone in the vast wilderness, I could relive my memories without disturbance and lose myself in the past. It became much easier for me once Hal had gone home. His company had kept me connected to my present life. But I didn't want that, I wanted my life as it had been, before I'd destroyed it.

After Hal returned to San Francisco, I moved through the forest, visiting familiar territory and hunting over great distances. I travelled south from Eldorado right down to Los Padres.

She was never out of my mind for a second, and little by little, I allowed myself to become completely immersed in my memories. As the days passed, the barrier between reality and fantasy began to blur. I didn't question if this was a healthy, or sane, way to live, I was just an addict who needed a fix. My freed memories felt exactly like a euphoric drug, because once I succumbed to them, I was no longer in pain.

I was no longer alone.

I took a deep breath one day and caught the scent of a sea breeze, right in the heart of the forest. And from that moment I knew that she was travelling with me. A day or so later, I glimpsed her graceful form, slipping through the trees, a short distance away.

She was shy at first, keeping her distance and refusing to speak, but she never left me. Whether I was moving or sitting quietly, she stayed nearby, watching me with those beautiful aqua eyes. I stopped feeling lonely, because she was always there.

Her moods changed constantly, just as they always had. One minute she would look like a thundercloud, then a moment later, a smile would break through and dazzle me. But under these superficial changes, her calm inner strength was ever present, powerful and unchanging. It was this quality that had stopped me in my tracks, and torn down my defences, all those decades ago.

Gradually, she edged closer and started talking to me. When I stopped to relax, she would sit nearby, with her tanned arms wrapped around her knees, and her long sun-bleached hair falling over her shoulders and down her back. I loved to watch her; she looked so peaceful. Now and again I'd find myself wishing that I could touch her, but for the most part, I was just happy that we were together again.

When we were still like this, she would confide in me. She told me what I longed to hear, that she had forgiven me and that she loved me.

My life in San Francisco receded further and further from my thoughts. It was as if my time with her in the forest was reality, and everything else was just a bad dream. Something inside me questioned what was happening, but I quickly silenced the dissenting voice. I didn't care what was real and what wasn't. I was happy in this place; I wasn't going to lose her again. We could stay here forever.

We travelled into the mountains. The weather was in our favour. The days were surprisingly clear and crisp, which meant that the night skies were full of stars. I always led us to good vantage points at night, because she liked to lie back on the frosty ground and stargaze, just as she always had.

She would talk about sleeping, but instead of closing her eyes and resting, she would watch the sky slowly turning over our heads, until the sun rose and the last stars disappeared. She always seemed to be at her most content during these times.

But one evening I noticed that she was looking pensive. We were sitting on a rocky ledge, overhanging a deep forest valley, just after sunset. She lifted her lovely face to the heavens, searching the stars as they appeared. I had no idea of what she was looking for, and wondered why she seemed so wistful. Feeling my eyes upon her, she glanced towards me and her expression became very sad.

Then, for the first time, she reached out and took my hand. I held my breath as she wound her long fingers through mine. Her skin looked very brown against my own. Just being able to touch her after all this time, made me feel alive in a way that I had not done in years; it was as if she had recovered my lost humanity and handed it back to me.

I kept my eyes on her face, in the hope that she would tell me what was wrong. Giving a small sigh, she raised her free hand and gently traced my cheekbone. As she did this, I noticed that all the human warmth had left her fingers.

I couldn't look away as the bronze tint of her skin became a deathly pale, and her eyes transformed from blue to gold. She was so beautiful that I ached just to look at her.

I wanted to tell her how much I loved her. She needed to know how sorry I was for turning her.

"Kathy…"

"Leo, I'm not here," she said quietly.

I tightened my hold on her smooth hand, suddenly terrified to let go. "Yes, you are," I said stubbornly, staring into her lovely golden eyes.

She gave my hand a gentle squeeze, and I glanced down to discover that she had already pulled her slender fingers away from mine. I looked up quickly, to ask why, and I found myself alone on the ledge. For a second I was confused. Where was she?

Leaping to my feet in panic, I couldn't see her anywhere. I called out her name, but heard no reply. She must still be nearby; she hadn't had time to go far. I could still follow her, it would be easy. I was a tracker. Taking a deep breath, I tasted the cool air in an effort to catch her scent.

I could smell the mountain and the pines, but that was all.

I took another breath, knowing that this time I would undoubtedly pick up her trail. She had only just left, she wouldn't be that hard to find. There was no way that she could just disappear.

Again, there was nothing.

My mind seemed to be strangely slow, as it struggled to come to terms with this idea. Maybe she was hiding. Maybe this was a game and at any second she would step out from the forest, smiling because she had fooled me. I waited and listened. There was no sound but the gentle breeze and the sound of the river, far below us.

Us… or _me?_

I was suddenly unsure.

I wanted to look for her, but there was no trail to follow, and I was worried about how she would feel if she came back and found me gone. I knew from personal experience how devastating it was to be left behind.

So I stayed and waited for her return. I stood all night, unmoving, listening for her light footsteps. I wondered if she was hunting. But then I remembered that we always hunted as a team, she wouldn't have gone without me.

As the hours ticked by, I began to feel increasingly worried. Was she hurt? Had she crossed the path of a hostile vampire? My mind shied away from the idea that she might not be coming back. That was just impossible. After all those years apart, she had returned to me, she wouldn't leave again.

She had told me that she loved me, hadn't she? Katherine was always so truthful; I had never known her to tell a lie. So, if she said she loved me, then it must be true and she would reappear at any moment.

It was only when the eastern sky began to lighten, that the truth finally began to seep into my consciousness. Daybreak was close, and Kathy was still nowhere to be seen. She had been gone all night. And then it hit me.

I was alone on this mountain – and I always had been.

Nothing could have prepared me for the anguish of that moment. Dropping to my knees, I buried my head in my hands, as this devastating truth turned my illusions to dust.

I'd been deceiving myself, she didn't love me and she hadn't come back. When she left all those years ago, it had been the final separation. One thought screamed in my head and it drowned out everything else. It was the only thing that mattered.

Katherine was gone, and there was no hope that I would _ever_ find her.

My mind was sent reeling by the unbelievable pain of this knowledge. How was I going to carry on? I was faced with finding a way to live without her – again. I had tried for fifty five years, but after this, I could see absolutely no way forward. There was nothing but emptiness stretching out for an eternity…

I couldn't get up, I couldn't even move. How could I survive the hopeless years ahead of me, when I was having trouble struggling through these few short minutes? But this was where fate had me fixed. I had no choice; whether or not I was able to live, I still had to exist. But now I wanted to throw off this tyranny of immortality. I wanted out.

There had to be a way.

As I knelt, motionless on the rough ground, the empty seconds continued to pass. Unfortunately, I survived them. The forest was so peaceful that I could barely hear a sound beyond the wind in the trees. The only change was in the light, the sun was about to rise.

Suddenly, out of the stillness, I was startled by a clear voice.

"Leo."

I immediately recognised the speaker. My head shot up in disbelief. She sounded so close; I expected to find her standing beside me.

"Red?" I glanced around in confusion. All I could see was the forest and the approaching sunrise. But, out of nowhere, she answered.

"Don't be sad," she said sympathetically. "There's no need."

I was too stunned to reply immediately; it took me a minute or two before I could choke out the words. "What do you mean… where are you?"

But even as I spoke, I could sense that she was no longer near. It was no surprise that my question was greeted by silence.

I wasn't entirely sure what had just happened. Taking a deep breath, I tried to clear my head. I knew I'd been living in some delusional world for the past few weeks, so I had to consider the likelihood this was just another pathetic fantasy. It was possible that I really had lost my mind. I knew that even my kind could be pushed to the edge of reason. I winced, remembering how I had once driven Katherine to that point with my cruelty.

But Nessie hadn't seemed like a fantasy. Her voice had been full of compassion and understanding. But more than that, she had sounded confident. There was no ethereal uncertainty, Red had been sure of her words; she _knew_ them to be true. She had sounded solid and alive.

However crazy it might seem, I knew deep inside me that her message had been real. And something about that knowledge jolted me out of my despair. I slowly rose to my feet, feeling slightly disorientated, as if I had been woken from a hideous nightmare and discovered that there was nothing to be afraid of.

Turning my face to the east, I watched as the sun climbed above the horizon in a blaze of gold. It seemed strangely appropriate that Red's message should come at the dawn of a new day. I stood on the edge of the cliff, where only minutes ago I had been kneeling in the depths of misery, and gazed out over the forest.

As I watched the sunrise a new sense of hope stole through me. It was strange, since my situation was exactly the same as it had been before, but Nessie's words had gone straight to my heart.

I knew that somehow I had to let go of this weight of guilt and sorrow. It wasn't making any difference to anything. My remorse couldn't help Katherine now, I wished it could, but the damage had already been done, and that was something that I was just going to have to accept.

She was gone for good. But I was still here, and however much it hurt, I couldn't just give up. I had to go on living.

I pulled out my wallet and sat down on the edge of the cliff, looking at the worn picture in my hand. That familiar sadness was present as I gazed at the image of Kathy and her brother, sitting side by side, smiling at each other. It had to have been taken before he was first shipped out to Vietnam. The guy in this picture looked innocent. He hadn't seen any death – yet.

There was no mistaking the family resemblance between them, not just in their features, but also in their expressions. They both had open, friendly faces, as if they enjoyed being alive and wanted to share the feeling. Yet within a couple of years, he would be dead, and she would have encountered me and wished that she was too.

I had so much to apologise for. No apology could possibly have been adequate, but I still regretted that I hadn't said _something _when I'd had the chance. She'd probably thought that I didn't regret anything; that I didn't care at all.

The ironic thing was that from the very first moment I'd set eyes on Katherine, I'd cared about her more than I'd ever cared about anyone. She'd dominated my thoughts to an unprecedented degree. So much so, that I had ruthlessly tracked her for months. I had failed to recognise what was driving me, until I'd completely lost control.

Kathy's human life was over by the time I had really started to understand the true nature of my feelings for her. But, instead of treating the girl whose life I'd just destroyed with compassion, or kindness, I had instantly fallen into a brutal power struggle with her. I had been a cruel bastard. And of course, I had lost the battle. Kathy was stronger than me and she had proved it. She had actually preferred to starve herself, than let me win.

I did start to treat her right – eventually. We travelled together for months and gradually learned to get along, but it was too late to make up for all the terrible things that I had done, and I couldn't give Katherine her life back. It wouldn't have been too late to tell her that I was sorry, but I was a coward, and never said the words.

At the very least I should have returned this picture to her. I knew that it was the only one she had of her brother. I had stolen it from her one night, because I'd wanted a picture of her. In my mind that had been justification enough. If I wanted something, I always took it. I guess it was a small thing compared with stealing her humanity, which I had also achieved on that very same night.

Taking the picture may have been a small thing, but I still felt really guilty about it. Mainly because – unlike her human life – I _could_ have given it back. By the time I'd realised how much it would have meant to Kathy, I didn't have the nerve to tell her what I'd done. So I kept the picture and she left without knowing anything about it. I wasn't even sure that she remembered its existence. At the time I felt relieved that she'd probably forgotten it, but now I just felt bad about the fact.

I put the picture away with a sigh of resignation. It was too late to give it back now. That chance was long gone, just like the girl. If Kathy was still alive, she would have moved on, from me and from her former life. She was living her new life – well, I hoped to God she was. I knew exactly what was out there, and I prayed with all my heart that she had survived it.

And as for me, I finally understood what I should have known all along, that there was no point living in the past, it would eat you alive. The only way to look was forward. I wasn't entirely sure how to do that, but I had a strong feeling that Red would be able to help me.

One thing I knew for sure. I was in the wrong place.

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**I won't be posting a chapter next Saturday, a combination of Easter weekend and my Birthday have encouraged me to take a short break (though at some point during the week I will try to put up a chapter of _the Black Pirate_, because it is long overdue...) but I will be back on schedule the Saturday after that.**

**Thanks for reading, ****have a lovely Easter, Mad :)**


	30. Nessie, liar

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you to willowbae for all her fantastic beta-ing :)<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 30.<strong>

**Nessie – liar**

_I was back in the mausoleum. _

_A sinking feeling hit me when I realised that the door was locked. There was no way out of this place. Its smooth, circular walls towered high above me in the dim light. I stayed as still as I could, listening for the creature. I didn't want it to hear me. Maybe if I was very quiet, then it wouldn't. _

_A movement caught my eye. _

_Set into the centre of the stone floor was a metal grid, out of which a dark liquid started to rise. It looked like oil, seeping across the floor in a sheeny black pool. And then I was hit by the stench of stale blood._

_I gasped and clutched my hand over my nose, while taking a hasty step back._

_Before I could get away from the fast forming reservoir, someone caught me from behind. A hand gripped my hair by the roots and ruthlessly pressed me forward. I had no idea who was holding me, as I struggled helplessly against a superior strength._

_My hands were captured behind my back and I was forced to my knees. Glancing up, the last things I saw were the faint beams of light, filtering through the windows in a delicate web, creating beautiful patterns on the walls over my head. _

_The next thing I knew, I was choking and drowning in the icy pool of death, as a merciless hand held me under. There was nothing but blackness, as I breathed in and my lungs were filled with blood…_

When I awoke I was gasping for air and my cheeks were wet with tears. Sitting upright, I took several shuddering breaths. I could still taste the putrid blood, and my whole body was shaking. I sat for a minute or two, taking steadying lungful's of oxygen, before falling back against my pillow.

It was only four in the morning, our room was still very dark, and I could hear Kristy's regular breathing as she slept. It was lucky for both of us that she was such a heavy sleeper. I didn't want to disturb her with my frequent nightmares. This week had been especially bad. I was terrified that one day I would project one onto her. It hadn't happened yet and I prayed that it never would, she'd never want to sleep again.

Rolling to my side, I tried to push the horrific images from my mind. It was already Friday, and after my morning classes I was supposed to be driving to Forks, to stay with Grandpa for a week. I couldn't believe that my study week was already here, how had it come around so quickly?

The week following Uncle Jasper's slip had passed at a terrifying speed, and I still didn't feel remotely ready to see Jake. I had filled my time with college work – my new mountain of essays and notes was proof of that – and I'd just about kept a grip on the feelings of guilt and anger that so desperately wanted to break free.

Study was the best emotional Novocain; if I concentrated hard enough, it numbed just about everything. But I couldn't actually study for twenty-four hours a day, so the time in-between was a real killer.

During the week, various family members had called to check up on me, including my mom, Aunt Rose and Grandma Esme. I had made a concerted effort to sound untroubled. I didn't want them worrying; in case they demanded that I go and stay with them. My dad spoke to me too, but at no point did he say anything about Jake or the treaty, and I didn't have the heart to mention them either.

I had called Jacob every day. I didn't want to make him suspicious by avoiding him. I could tell that he had been really concerned by my behaviour at the weekend – however much he played it down – so during our conversations I attempted to sound relaxed and normal. The only way I could achieve this was by sticking to safe and impersonal subjects. But somehow, what I _wasn't_ telling him still hung over me like a dark cloud.

I felt as if I was living a double life. I didn't want to speak to Jake, because I was withholding the truth. But, at the same time, I needed him more than ever before, because my unhappiness was always fighting to break through and overpower me. Every day when I hung up the phone, I was left feeling miserable and homesick.

The effort of controlling my emotions left a constant ache in my heart. I'd never felt like this before. I had never been a particularly resentful or bitter person, but now I was angry all the time, and it was grinding me down, because the focus of my anger was my own family. I couldn't believe that I could harbour so much rage against the people I loved. Combined with my own guilt, it made a truly poisonous cocktail.

My family had already relocated to Illinois, and they had told me the details of their new life. Apparently, my parents were enrolling in school _again_, but Aunt Rose had dug in her heels and refused to go back to school, so instead, she and Uncle Emmett were starting college together. No one was sure what Uncle Jasper and Aunt Alice planned to do, because they were still in Quebec.

When my parents questioned me more closely about what had happened at the weekend, I had just repeated that my phone was broken, but hadn't elaborated. Neither of them pushed me further. I didn't know – or care – if they believed me. I just wanted to put my head down and get through this nightmare as smoothly as possible. But somehow, even though my family had successfully covered their tracks and relocated, I still couldn't see any light at the end of the tunnel. The world just stayed dark.

It was hardly surprising that, as I lay in my bed on Friday morning, recovering from yet another horrendous nightmare, I wished that I could find a reason to justify staying in bed. I didn't fall back to sleep and I felt like hell when I finally forced myself to get up.

My morning classes passed in a daze. I hardly noticed what anyone was saying, so, for once, Professor Leary's snipes fell on deaf ears. I was dreading returning to Forks, because I knew that Jake would be waiting to see me the second that I arrived and I still had no idea of how I was going to face him.

I was already packed and ready to leave as soon as my morning classes were finished, but instead of hurrying to my car to make the drive home, I found myself back in my bedroom. I thanked God that Kristy was still in class. It meant that I could just lie down on my bed without having to explain myself to anyone.

I switched off my phone and watched several hours tick by in silence, but I still couldn't stir myself to get up and leave. Kristy came back at five o'clock. When I heard her key in the lock, I sprang off the bed and tried to look busy. She bustled into the room and smiled with surprise when she spotted me.

"Hey Nessie, I thought you were going to Forks."

"I am, I just had a couple of things to do first," I said, making a pretty good stab at sounding casual. I must have been fairly convincing because she nodded without suspicion.

"I'll be coming down next weekend, so maybe Jason and I could meet up with you and Jake. You know, we could go on a double date," she suggested enthusiastically. "We haven't done that since the summer."

"Great." I faked a smile, and tried not to imagine what a misery it would be, spending an evening playing 'happy couples' when I was feeling like this.

Once Kristy appeared, I didn't stick around for long. I just pretended to finish what I'd been claiming to do, and cleared out of the room. I went to my car and started my drive. Halfway there, I pulled over at the side of the road. It was already dusk, and I just sat in my parked car for another hour or so, watching the clock, as the road grew darker and darker.

I knew that Jake would already be at Grandpa's house. Everyone was expecting me for dinner. Actually, they'd been expecting me since the mid-afternoon, so I was hours late. I hadn't thought of a decent excuse for my tardiness, or even been considerate enough to call and say what I was doing.

I sighed and switched on my phone. Of course there were several anxious messages from Jacob. I didn't call him though, I just couldn't. Instead, I tried Grandpa's number. It was Sue who answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi Sue, it's me."

"Sweetheart, where are you? We've all been waiting for you, so we can start dinner."

I was glad to hear that she didn't sound particularly upset.

"I'm so, so sorry," I said guiltily – at least that was genuine – "I was really tired after class and I took a tiny nap, but I accidentally overslept. I really didn't mean to keep you all waiting."

"Hmmm, it sounds like a case of too many late nights to me," she answered cryptically. "Well you can have a rest this week – it sounds like you need one. How long will you be?"

"I might be a while, so please don't wait any longer. I'm really sorry…"

"Don't worry; it's fine. I'm just glad that nothing has happened, and the guys will just be relieved that they can start eating, that's all that they care about."

"Thanks, Sue," I said, knowing perfectly well that I didn't deserve her patience after selfishly screwing up her dinner plans.

"Oh, Jake wants to speak to you," she added.

My heart sank and a second later I heard his voice. "Hey honey, what's going on?"

"Um… I fell asleep. How are you?"

He wasn't to be side-tracked. "I heard what you said to Sue. Are you ok?"

I couldn't believe it. In my desperation to hide the truth from Jacob, I'd only managed to make him more suspicious. I tried really hard to sound relaxed, it seemed to be my new emotional autopilot; fake calm.

"Sure, I'm fine." I didn't elaborate, and attempted to divert his attention by throwing his question back at him. "You're not mad, are you?"

It worked, he immediately backed off. "No, of course not, I'm just worried about you."

I ruthlessly pressed my advantage. "Are you sure? It _sounds _like you're upset with me."

"I'm not upset with you, honey. You know that," he said in a low voice. He sounded so tender that I was instantly filled with remorse for being so manipulative.

I could feel my eyes stinging as I answered him. "Ok. I'm sorry, Jake."

"Hey, don't worry," he said kindly. "The main thing is that you're on your way now, right?"

"Right," I tried to sound as if I wasn't crying. "I'll see you soon."

At least I had gained some control before pulling up at Grandpa's house. As I stopped the car, I reminded myself that I couldn't put off this meeting forever.

I had known that it was going to be tough to see Jacob, but it was only when I caught sight of him that I realised just how bad it was going to be. As I climbed out of the car, Jake appeared at the front door. He was down the front steps and across the yard, before I'd taken more than a couple of steps. I was so nervous that I could hardly meet his eyes when he approached. He stopped in front of me and I glanced up at him.

"Hey." My voice trembled slightly.

He didn't say anything; he just caught hold of me and lifted me off my feet. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and hid my face in his shoulder as he held me close. For a minute, the feel of his strong arms around me, made me forget that things like vampires and treaties had ever existed. But, all too soon, the memories returned and so did the ache in my heart.

He squeezed me tightly and sighed. "It's been too long..."

"I know," I nodded, keeping my face hidden as I clung to him. It had been long enough for everything to change, and for me to become something that I hated.

"I love you, Nessie."

"I love you too."

I turned my face to his, and he leaned in to kiss me. His soft lips parted as they met mine and I instantly responded. He felt incredible, but I was surprised by the strength of the emotions which coursed through me when we kissed. I was hit by an overpowering fusion of happiness, sorrow and guilt. I caught my breath as my feelings threatened to overcome me, I couldn't handle them at all. Before I knew it, I had released my arms and pulled back from his kiss.

I didn't drop, because Jacob was still holding me, but as soon as he felt me withdraw, he opened his eyes and gazed at me in hurt confusion. I quickly glanced away and tried to pretend that nothing was wrong. I waited patiently for him to set me on my feet. Jake put me down gently. I could feel his gaze still fixed on my face.

"Are you ok, honey?"

He sounded so uncertain that I wanted to sink. I had only been back for two minutes and I was already hurting him. As I glanced into his eyes and saw the doubt, I had to remind myself of exactly why I was concealing the truth. I had promised my family that I would protect them, and I had promised myself that Jake was going to stay clean. This was the price.

"Of course I am," I said in my best 'calm' voice, brushing over his concern. "It's just been a long week, that's all."

He gave me a reassuring hug. "It's ok, you're home now."

Hiding my face in his t-shirt, I nodded. "Uh huh."

Jacob gave me one last squeeze, before letting go. "Come on, let's get you inside."

"Ok."

"Where's your bag?"

"In the trunk," I said, and watched as he went to get it for me. It was just another act of consideration that I didn't deserve.

We went into the house, where I found my family, relaxing in the living room. I greeted them sheepishly. Marie was also there, which made me feel even more uncomfortable; it seemed much worse to be late when there was a guest. Unfortunately, she was looking particularly glamorous. Her long black hair seemed to be especially glossy, and her teeth looked extra white, which contrasted all too painfully with the fact that I looked, and felt, terrible.

I apologised for being late and Marie did me a favour – however unknowingly – by cheerfully saying 'hi' and instantly returning to her conversation with Sue. They were discussing the floral arrangements for her wedding. This distraction gave me a chance to slip out of the room without having to face any awkward questions.

I hurried upstairs and Jake followed with my bag. As soon as I got into my dark bedroom, I drew the curtains and switched on my bedside lamp. Jacob came into the room after me, and I heard the door close with a gentle click.

I kept my back to him as he threw my bag onto the bed and stepped behind me. A second later, his hands circled my waist. I didn't speak; I just let him wrap me in his arms. His body felt warm against my back as he leaned down and whispered in my ear.

"Nessie, what's wrong?"

I suddenly realised that however awful it was to lie to Jake on the phone, lying to his face was a thousand times worse. My chest seemed to tighten; this was the moment that I'd been dreading. I had to find some way to brazen out his questions. I didn't answer immediately, and Jake kissed my cheek coaxingly.

"Please tell me, honey."

I didn't look around, I just replied in a cool voice. "I don't know what you mean."

"Look at me, Nessie." He gently turned me around to face him. I met his eyes reluctantly, and saw that they were full of sympathy. He gazed down and brushed my hair from my brow. "What happened last weekend?"

At least I had an answer to this question, and it was almost true. "I told you. I was busy studying and my phone broke."

He sighed and gave a thoughtful frown. "So you're sticking with that line, are you?"

"It's not a line. That's what happened," I spoke defiantly, but my eyes fell under his penetrating gaze.

He was silent for a moment, until he caught hold of my hand. His fingers curled around mine as he laid it over his heart.

"If you can't say it, all you have to do is _show_ me, Nessie. Whatever it is, you don't have to be afraid. You know I'll always stand by you."

Staring into his warm eyes, I almost said the words, but something stopped me. Maybe it was the realisation that I would only be giving in to my own weakness if I pushed this problem onto Jacob now. And not only would I be burdening him, but I would also be letting my family down.

I bit my lip and gently started to pull my fingers away. The very last thing I needed to do was to send him any images. Who could say what would accidentally slip through?

"Jake, I know you'd be there if I needed you. But you don't have to worry this time, everything's fine."

He wouldn't let go of my hand, he just tightened his hold on my fingers. "Come on, honey…"

His pleading look was his best weapon to undermine my resolve. I had to act fast, or I would be unable to maintain my wall of silence. I squeezed his hand and met his eyes unflinchingly.

"Jacob, _don't..._" My voice was barely audible. He looked surprised, and I added reproachfully. "_Please_ don't do this to me… you're making me feel as if I'm doing something wrong."

He was thrown by this sudden gambit and instantly released my hand. "I'm sorry." He looked dismayed. "I didn't mean to accuse you of anything."

I continued to hold his gaze. "I know you're just anxious about me. It's my fault; I should have called you last weekend, instead of making you worry. I'm sorry… Please forgive me."

My apology made Jake look very remorseful. "Nessie, there's nothing to forgive, you know that."

It was easier to stick to my resolve when he wasn't touching me, so I took a step back and said in a firm voice. "So, we're good, then?"

It was obvious that Jake was unsure, but he didn't want to seem as if he was blaming me for anything, so he just nodded. "Sure, we're good."

"Ok." I wasn't going to give him the chance to delve any further. I quickly turned to leave the room and glanced over my shoulder. "Let's go downstairs, I need something to eat," I said lightly.

We went down to the kitchen, and I put all my energy into seeming fine. After a forcing down my dinner, Jake and I joined the others in the living room. It was fortunate that Marie and Sue were still immersed in wedding talk, and that the guys had switched on the TV, because there was no need for me to make conversation with anyone.

I deliberately manoeuvred myself into a chair which was right across the room from Jacob, and then spent the rest of the evening wishing that he was right beside me. The draw of imprinting seemed to be working overtime, I could feel a constant pull towards him, and it made the pain in my chest even worse.

As he watched the game with Grandpa and Seth, I found myself throwing surreptitious glances in his direction. Most of the time Jacob appeared to be completely absorbed by the game, but there was one occasion when I peeked at him and found his gaze fixed on me. As our eyes locked, I could see my own yearning reflected in his eyes and I quickly looked away.

By the time he said goodnight, my nerves were so tightly wound that I was just about ready to snap. Jake must have picked up on the fact, because he didn't push me. He just kissed me goodnight and said he'd see me the next day. When he drove away, my feelings were a painful mixture of relief and loss. All I could do was retreat to my room and try to calm down.

I knew that I hadn't handled our first meeting very well. I had been way too tense, and found it hard to contain my emotions. I told myself that this was to be expected, but that it wouldn't last forever. I just needed to see this as an exercise in damage control. I tried to concentrate on thoughts like, how my mom and Grandpa would feel if she couldn't come back to Forks, and what it would be like for Jacob, if he found himself caught between his imprint and his pack.

I reminded myself that someone had just been murdered and Jake might not _want_ to pretend that it didn't matter. Let's face it, I felt the same way myself. But I had no choice on this one. I was already involved. It was too late for me, but not for _him_. If I could keep it together, then my efforts would be worth it.

In a week or so, this whole awful episode would be forgotten; Jake would stay clean, the treaty would still be intact, and we could go back to normal.

Things would get better. They had to.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Thank you to my reviewers for the really positive comments, and also a big thank you for reading.**

**Have a lovely week, Mad :)**


	31. Nessie, the edge

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

* * *

><p><strong>A special thanks to willowbae for being a lovely beta :)<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 31.<strong>

**Nessie – the edge**

After an indifferent night's sleep, I only felt marginally better, but that didn't stop me from clinging to the hope that the worst was over. I wanted to believe that somehow it would be easier to face Jacob from now on.

I had promised to spend the afternoon with Jake at La Push and return home for a family dinner in the evening. After the previous night's fiasco, I wanted to make doubly sure that I was home on time.

I arrived at La Push just after lunch. I was disappointed to see that it was still raining hard when I parked outside Jacob's house. With weather like this, it seemed likely that we would spend the whole afternoon stuck indoors. I wasn't in the mood for sitting around, talking. I would have preferred to go for a walk, or visit the beach. As I made my way to Jacob's front door, I kept repeating my new mantra.

_Keep it together, this won't last forever…_

The front door was ajar and I walked straight in. Billy was sitting in the living room and Rachel was there too. They both smiled when they saw me.

"Hi, Nessie." Rachel bustled over and kissed my cheek.

Billy grinned up at me. "Hey sweetheart, you've come at just the right moment."

"Why's that?"

Before he could answer, Jake appeared in the kitchen doorway, he smiled at the sight of me. "Hey, honey."

"Hey." I gave him a cautious smile as he crossed the room.

I half expected him to try to hug me; but instead, he just gave me a quick peck on the cheek and sat down on the arm of the couch. I breathed a sigh of relief. If last night was anything to go by, it was clear that too much contact with Jake only made things worse. When I wasn't touching him, I could stay relatively in control, as soon as he came near me, those dangerous feelings fought to break free.

I sat down on a nearby chair and turned to Billy. "So, what were you saying?"

He caught his daughter's eye. "I was hoping that you would cause a distraction. Rachel has been trying to talk me into moving to her house."

I raised my eyebrows; I hadn't heard that this idea was in the pipeline. Rachel looked exasperated and tried to justify herself.

"Dad, it's a good idea. We've finally finished the extension, there's plenty of room. And your health hasn't been the best lately, and the kids would love having you."

Billy attempted to keep a straight face. "Are you suggesting that the kids take care of me?"

I heard Jake give a chuckle, and Rachel turned on him angrily. "You can laugh Jacob Black, but even my kids would make a better job of looking after Dad than _you _do – you great lunk."

Seeing that his daughter was getting seriously overwrought, Billy said soothingly. "I was only joking. I know that you're doing your best, Rachel. It's a generous offer, but this is my home."

"And he still has me help him, even if I am a _lunk…" _Jake grinned at her.

I was surprised that Jake wasn't making more of an effort to defend himself. He could have pointed out that he had looked after their father when she disappeared off to college and gone away to work. But then it occurred to me that he probably didn't want to hurt Billy's feelings.

She threw Jacob a frosty look, before saying to Billy in her most persuasive tone. "At least consider the idea, Dad. You could stay for a week and see how you like it, just for a trial."

I saw Jake biting back a smile. Luckily Rachel missed this, but Billy didn't. He noticed Jacob's smile and turned to me with a very pleased expression.

"It's good to see Jake smiling again, Nessie. It must be your influence. He's been like a bear with a sore head all week."

This innocuous remark had an instant effect upon Jacob. He looked uneasy and avoided meeting my eye. My heart sank. It was now apparent that he had been suffering during the week, and I knew perfectly well that it was my fault. I pretended not to notice his discomfort, and just accepted Billy's compliment with a slight smile.

Then Billy politely asked about the Cullens. He couldn't have picked a subject to make me feel more ill at ease. The very last thing that I needed was for Jake to know that I was stressed about my family. I made every effort to seem relaxed as I answered Billy's questions, I didn't want Jake to pick up on my tension and put two and two together.

I hadn't even told Jake that my family were moving yet. It seemed like a good idea to keep that information to myself for a week or two – or at least until I could talk about it without visibly shaking.

So I smiled, and lied, and felt even worse than I had before. The burden of guilt seemed to be increasing, rather than lessening. It had only been a week, but I had already begun to wonder if I was going to buckle under its weight. Being around Jake was making it so much worse, and lying to Billy seemed particularly low. How would Jake feel about the fact that I was not only lying to him, but also to his _father?_

As this thought occurred to me, I realised that I was right on the edge. I had to do something, or I was going to go straight over into the deep end. This would have been a good moment to escape to the beach with my surfboard. But I had left it at Grandpa's house, along with my wetsuit.

I didn't know what to do. All I knew was that I _needed _to get out of this house. Maybe I could fake period pains, or something. But no, Jake would be able to work out that I was lying in about three seconds – stupid wolves. I suddenly had an idea. I waited for a lull in the conversation, before turning to Jacob.

"Jake, did I leave a spare swimsuit here?"

He seemed slightly surprised by this random question. "Sure, there's one in my room. Do you want it?" He asked in confusion.

"I really need some exercise, I've been studying indoors all week," I said innocently. "I thought that I might head over to the cliffs and go diving."

My suggestion was greeted by a complete silence from the whole family. Jake was the first to speak. His brow was furrowed with concern.

"Are you kidding, Nessie? It's terrible weather, there's a storm blowing out there."

"He's right, sweetheart," added Billy, kindly.

I didn't care that they all disapproved; I just had to escape from the house. I was a mess and I needed a distraction. So what could be better than throwing myself off a high cliff into a stormy sea? I met Jake's eye with a rebellious pout.

"You know that a rough sea is no problem for me."

"Being hit by lightning might be," replied Jake, tersely.

"It's not a _thunderstorm, _Jake," I snapped. "Geez, why do you have to be so melodramatic?"

Jacob held my gaze for a moment, his expression was unreadable, and then he shrugged. "Fine, do what you like."

I had won a victory, but somehow it didn't feel that way; especially when Rachel exclaimed. "Jake, are you out of your mind? I know she's strong, but she could still drown."

I could see the muscles around his mouth tighten as he glanced at his sister. "She'll be fine."

Billy shook his head in resignation and Rachel threw up her hands. "You're both crazy."

Jacob went to find my swimsuit; his expression was very grim as he handed it over. I hurried into his room to change. I wore the swimsuit under my clothes, and when I re-emerged a few minutes later, Jake was waiting for me by the front door.

"Do you want me to watch you dive?"

I shook my head. "There's no point, it's pouring with rain and you'll only get soaked." I tried to ignore the hurt look in his eyes and added lightly. "I won't be long. I promise."

"I'll see you later then," he replied in a clipped tone, as I escaped from the house.

I hurried through the rain to my car. Climbing into the driver's seat, I could still hear the conversation in the house. Rachel was reprimanding Jacob for letting me go. She accused him of being foolish and irresponsible.

"She could have an accident, Jake. She could be blown into the cliff face."

"I can't _force _her to stay," he said in a frustrated voice.

"Don't you care about her, at all?"

I heard Jacob curse and the sound of a slamming door, followed by Billy's calm voice, presumably speaking to Rachel. "Don't worry; he's been like this all week. I don't know what's got into him – or her, for that matter."

At this point I stopped listening and closed my car door with a bang. It seemed that my attempt at damage control was failing miserably. Suddenly Jake wasn't the only one cursing. How had I let myself get into this situation? Why was I protecting my family anyway?

Between them, they'd committed numerous murders. Maybe they _should _be forced to stay away from the Olympic Peninsula. At least Jake wouldn't be torn between me and the pack. If I confessed what had happened, then Jacob could act in good faith and uphold the treaty. He could wash the blood away from both of us. He wouldn't have to be tainted, and I would be able to live with myself again.

It wouldn't be easy to tell him the truth – after all it was a pretty shameful admission – but I could live with that. The pack would probably be disgusted with me, but if the treaty was upheld, it would be hard for them to make too much of an issue of it. I was used to being an outsider anyway, so maybe things wouldn't be that different from the way they usually were.

These tempting thoughts played through my head as I drove to the cliffs. I indulged them for a short while – they were very liberating – but by the time I'd pulled over, I already knew that it was a hopeless dream. There was no way that I was going to stand against my own family.

I might not approve of what had happened, but I still loved them and owed them my loyalty. I wasn't about to rat them out to the wolves. And I loved Jacob enough not to dump this nightmare onto him with the selfish expectation that he fix it. I would just have to try a lot harder from now on. All I needed was to clear my head, and then I'd be fine.

Once I'd parked, I stripped off my clothes and shoes in the car, and climbed the steep cliff path in my swimsuit. It was pouring with rain and the dense undergrowth splashed me with water as I pushed my way through it. I was soaking wet, long before I got anywhere near the sea.

When I reached the clearing at the top of the path and stepped onto the cliff edge, I felt a strange sense of elation. I'd been battling to keep my feelings in check all week, and now I didn't have to hide anything. I could finally release some of my angry energy.

Gazing out across the black sea, I listened to sound of the heavy waves breaking far below me. There was a strong wind blowing, and so, to give myself plenty of distance, I took a long run up before springing off the cliff. As I fell, all my concentration went into my dive. My movements were as precise as I could make them, and when I hit the freezing water below, I tried to achieve the perfect angle.

Considering that I was out of practice, my first attempt wasn't bad and I felt genuinely exhilarated as I resurfaced from the dark water. I had achieved my aim, for a minute I'd been lost in my actions and all the bad feelings had disappeared. The rough sea was another great distraction. Swimming against the icy waves made me feel as if I was winning at least one of my battles.

I reached the base of the cliffs and started to climb back to the top again. As I scaled the slippery rock face, I could feel the salty spray battering my body. By the time I was halfway up, the miserable ache had returned to my heart. So, as soon as I reached the grassy ledge, I dived again.

For the next two hours, I repeated the pattern. Every time I hit the water, I felt amazing, but the feeling was too short-lived. The pain always returned a few minutes later. My dives became more and more daring. My total focus allowed me to stretch myself and achieve the kind of stunts that I never had before. The rough water was so cold that I actually started to notice the chill, but that didn't stop me. I didn't care. I just needed the adrenaline rush.

I wasn't sure how much longer I could keep going. Weariness was starting catch up with me, but I still couldn't stop. I'm not sure what would have happened if Jacob hadn't come to get me. I didn't realise he was there, until I pulled myself over the top ledge and found him waiting.

He was standing with his arms crossed, leaning against a tree, and soaked to the skin. I started in surprise when I saw him.

"Jake, what are you doing here?" I said, getting to my feet.

He walked towards me with a serious look in his eyes. "I came to get you. You should call it a day, you're tired."

"How do you know?" I said, feeling vaguely resentful. If I left the cliff, I would have to return to my problems.

He halted in front of me and put his hands on my shoulders. "I've been watching you the whole time." My eyes widened and he continued to speak in a firm voice. "You're starting to lose your edge, Nessie; you'll have an accident if you don't stop now."

Something in his face broke through my resistance. I glanced back at the cliff edge. Would I have just carried on until I'd had some stupid fall? The answer to that question made me feel queasy. I turned back to Jacob with fearful eyes.

His expression softened and he took my hands. "Do you want me to take you home?"

I nodded wordlessly and let him lead me back down the cliff path to my car.

As we walked, Jake squeezed my fingers. "Your hands are too cold, honey."

I answered quietly. "It's only my hands; the rest of my body is fine."

As soon as I unlocked the car, Jake grabbed my clothes from the seat. "Here, put these on, you'll warm up."

I took them gratefully, and pulled them on. They felt slightly uncomfortable against my wet swimsuit, but I was too tired to bother doing anything else; I knew that I could change when I got home. Seeing my weary expression, Jake took the car keys from my hand.

"I'll drive."

"Thanks." I climbed into the passenger seat and closed the door, as Jake started the engine.

On the drive home I didn't really feel like talking, I just watched the forest speed past. It was Jake who finally broke the silence.

"Can I ask you something, Nessie?" There was a nervous edge to his voice.

I threw him a cautious glance. "Sure."

He took a deep breath, and then said quietly. "You're not still upset with me, for cancelling our vacation… are you?"

For a moment, my mind went completely blank. This was the last thing that I had expected him to ask. I almost had trouble remembering what he was talking about. So much had happened in the past week that I hadn't thought about our trip to Mavericks at all.

To be honest, if it had crossed my mind, I would only have felt a sense of relief that the trip had been cancelled. I couldn't go away with Jake when I was feeling like this. As I was considering this idea, I realised that Jake was anxiously awaiting my response. I glanced over to him and told the truth.

"I'm not upset, Jake. I don't care about the vacation."

My blunt reply seemed to surprise him, and he hardly knew what to say.

"Oh, ok." He still looked a little taken aback, but then added in a resolute voice. "Well, that's good… I'm glad." He didn't look glad, in fact, he looked slightly hurt.

Damn. In my efforts to assure Jake that I wasn't bothered, I had been a bit too convincing, now he probably thought that I didn't want to be around him. How could I explain that I still loved him, but that I also needed some space? This conundrum made my head throb, and so I gave up trying to solve it.

When we arrived at Grandpa's house, no one was home. I hurried straight upstairs to take a shower and change into some dry clothes, and Jake went to raid the refrigerator. I let the water run as hot as I could take it, and I was glad to feel the warmth stealing through my cold limbs and relaxing my muscles. Once I had washed away all the salt, I wrapped myself in a towel and padded into my room.

After rifling through my closet for a minute, I found some matching underwear, a tank top and a pair of jeans. I put these on and sat on my bed. I was feeling surprisingly tired, my cliff diving seemed to be catching up with me, and the heat from my shower had made me feel slightly drowsy. I lay back on the bedspread and closed my eyes, just to rest them for a moment…

I was startled by a creaking sound. I opened my eyes in confusion. The room seemed to have darkened. Had I been asleep?

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." Jake was standing in the doorway. The creak had been the sound of the opening door. "I just came to see if you were ok."

I sat up abruptly. "God, I'm sorry… I don't know what happened." I glanced up at him anxiously. "How long have I been asleep?"

"You've been up here for nearly two hours."

"What!" I exclaimed in surprise. "Why didn't you come and get me sooner?"

"I thought that maybe you wanted to be alone," he said awkwardly.

I couldn't believe it; Jake actually thought that I would hide upstairs for two hours to avoid him. But, what else could I expect? After my recent conduct, was it any surprise that he had jumped to this conclusion? I felt very guilty as I climbed off the bed. Jake was still hovering in the doorway, so I hurried over to him. I wanted to apologise for everything, but all I could manage was a lame.

"I'm sorry, I hope you weren't bored."

"It's ok," he said with a slight smile, before adding. "The others will be home soon."

He turned to go back downstairs, but I caught his arm and pulled him into my room. "Wait a second," I said, trying to make up for my aloof behaviour. "I just need to choose a sweater."

When he realised that I wanted him to stay, he started to look more cheerful. He came into my room and sat down on the edge of my bed, while I headed for my sweater drawer. After several minutes rummaging, I discovered a beautiful blue cardigan.

"How about this?" I asked, pulling the cashmere creation from its hiding place.

Jake was reading the magazine he'd found on my bedside table. He wore a thoughtful expression as he glanced up at me.

"You look great, whatever you're wearing."

I smiled and sauntered across the room towards him. He tossed the magazine onto the bed as I drew near, and I could hear his heartbeat accelerating. He had dried out, but I could still smell the rain on his skin. Mixed with his scent, it held an irresistible draw for me. In our two weeks apart, I had missed being close to him. I may have been holding back before, but now all I wanted to do was touch him.

Picking up the magazine, I tossed it onto my desk and sat down beside him. His short hair had completely dried, and I leaned over to comb it with my fingers.

"There, that's better." I gave him a small smile as I brushed his hair into place.

His eyes never left me. "Thanks."

I continued to stroke his hair, and moved a little nearer. He took a deep breath and reached his arm around me, lifting me onto his lap as easily as if I weighed nothing.

Twisting around, I sat with one leg on either side of his hips, so that we were face to face. As I caught my arms around his neck, our eyes met and he held my gaze with a searching expression. Jacob's eyes darkened as he pulled me into a kiss.

He wound his arms around my waist as our lips parted. He tasted so good that I suddenly felt ok. No, I felt better than ok, I felt strong. I let my fingers run through his hair as his hands tightened against my back. His lips moved with greater urgency as he pulled me closer.

All at once, the angry energy, which had been locked inside me, found an outlet. I caught hold of Jake's t-shirt and pulled it up over his head. He didn't resist, he hardly broke our kiss. I threw the t-shirt to one side and ran my hands across his shoulders and down his perfectly sculpted torso. Jacob's chest was so smooth that I lowered my head and ran my tongue across it, savouring the taste of his bare skin. He shivered as I did this, and I knew that he wasn't cold. I peeked up at him and gave a slow smile.

There was a new ferocity in his expression, as he slid his hand behind my head and twisted his fingers through my hair. Our eyes locked and I raised my head, leaving barely an inch between us. We didn't break eye contact, and for a second neither of us made a move. I could almost hear the crackle of electricity in the air. Jake suddenly tightened his grip on me.

"God, Nessie. You smell so…" was all he said, before yanking me forward and crushing his lips to mine.

My heart sprinted with a massive rush of adrenaline. I let my nails dig into his back, but he didn't seem to mind, he just pulled me closer. Without breaking our hold, Jacob lifted me in his arms and laid me back on the bed. He moved instinctively, lowering himself onto me in a single motion. His warm body pressed against mine, firmly holding me in place, as his kisses became more forceful. All I could hear was the sound of his heart, pounding in his chest.

By now, all my released anger and frustration had gained dominance over my self-control. A new, more powerful, desire was awakened in me, one which was ferocious and unyielding. There was no place for love, or gentleness, as this craving took hold.

It was similar to the feeling which had driven me over the cliff that afternoon, only far stronger. And it showed me that there was a way to block out all my other emotions. This new feeling was unbalancing and frightening, but I didn't want to fight it. I knew that if I succumbed, I might be able to escape all the guilt and pain that had been twisting me from the inside.

My kisses became more aggressive and I wanted Jake to hold me tighter. At first he responded, but all of a sudden – as if he'd realised that something wasn't quite right – he loosened his grip on me. In my frustration, I tried to keep him close, but he held back.

Breaking free of our kiss, Jacob pulled away and looked straight down at me. This strange need still had me in its power, and I had trouble focusing as I met his eyes. I don't know what he saw in my expression, but it seemed to disturb him.

"Nessie?" He sounded unsure as he spoke my name. "Are you ok?"

There was a note of anxiety in his voice which jolted me back to myself, and for a moment I felt dazed; as if I'd been yanked from the edge of a dangerous precipice. I blinked and gazed at him. Jake was wearing a worried frown.

"What's going on?" He said, as his eyes searched mine.

I looked away; I could hardly understand it myself, let alone explain it to him.

"Nothing," I tried to pass the incident off as normal. "Aren't I allowed to want you?" I turned my head and met his eyes with a challenge.

He instantly rolled off me and sat up. He looked down at me with a very serious expression.

"You want something right now, but I don't think that _this _is it," was his unexpected response.

I sat up abruptly and threw him a resentful scowl. "What are you trying to say, Jacob?"

My emotions still felt wildly unbalanced and his brush-off wasn't helping. He was surprised my sudden anger.

"Hey, calm down. I'm only trying to figure out what's going on with you."

Narrowing my eyes, I said bitterly. "That's funny, because I could have sworn that you were really just turning me down."

I knew that I was being unpleasant, but at that moment I really didn't care, even when I saw the wounded look in Jacob's eyes. I'd spent a whole week feeling miserable and guilty, and now I was feeling rejected too. I was far beyond the point of being rational or kind. I just wanted to make him to feel as bad as I did.

His brow lowered as he answered me. "I'm sorry you've taken it that way."

Jacob didn't seem angry as he said these words; he just looked grave, which made me feel even worse. I clambered off the bed, and took a hasty step away from him.

"How am I supposed to take it?" I asked accusingly.

He quickly rose to his feet and I backed away from him, but he followed me and captured one of my hands in a strong grip. I refused to meet his eyes as he gazed down at me.

"I'm sorry, honey." He lifted my chin, in an effort to catch my eye. I finally glared up at him and he added. "You have no idea how badly I want you, Nessie. But not like _this_. Not when I can't figure out what's going on inside your head. I know there's something wrong, and I don't think that this will solve it."

His expression was torn, and I could hear the suppressed feeling in his voice. His hand still cradled my chin as he looked into my eyes. His gaze held such concern that my heart ached to confide in him. But I couldn't tell him why I was unhappy, so I accepted defeat and said in a resigned voice.

"Whatever you say." My eyes fell and I added quietly. "Don't worry, this won't happen again."

"Nessie, I didn't mean..." Jake started to protest, but I pulled away from him and picked up my cardigan.

"You'd better get dressed; Grandpa and the others will be here soon."

Jacob stood watching me for a minute, until he sighed. "Sure, fine." He plucked his t-shirt from the bed, and as he pulled it on, he tried again. "You know, you can talk to me, if there's something bothering you. You can always come to me for help."

I knew that he couldn't help me this time. I couldn't look at him, I was too afraid that my face would betray me, so I just carried on fastening my buttons.

"Sure."

There was a note of finality in my voice; I didn't want to think about this humiliating episode ever again. I would add it to my list of things to repress. I could feel his frustration at my response. He was silent for a moment, until he went to the door and said in a grim voice.

"I'll see you downstairs."

I pretended not to notice the tension and answered calmly. "I'll be down in a minute."

He quietly closed the door and left me alone.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Thank you for last week's very lovely reviews, they were great, and for the list additions. And, as always, thank you for reading.**

**Have a really nice week,**

**Mad :)**


	32. Nessie, the pep talk

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

* * *

><p><strong>A really big thank you to my lovely beta willowbae for all her help :)<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 32.<strong>

**Nessie – the pep talk**

Some evenings are doomed.

This was one of them.

I didn't go downstairs until I heard Grandpa and Sue arrive home. Seth and Marie appeared soon after, and we all sat down to dinner. I thanked God for Marie's wedding obsession, because her monologue made it less obvious that Jake and I were hardly speaking. She just prattled on about marquees and table settings, and remained completely oblivious to the terrible atmosphere.

Seth watched her the whole time, wearing a look of complete adoration. Under normal circumstances I would found this amusing, but that night his response only managed to grate on my nerves. It highlighted the kind of devotion that imprinting engendered. Jake usually gazed at me with that expression; his face would light up when he saw me, just as Seth's did when he was around Marie.

During dinner Jacob looked the opposite of illuminated. I could see how unhappy he was. I knew that Marie would really have to push it, to make Seth look this way. Of course, Marie didn't have to live with any Cullen family secrets, which gave her less scope for making her wolf utterly miserable.

After dinner I had to sit in the living room, pretending that everything was ok, for the second night in a row. I really couldn't think of anything to say, I was feeling far too tense and mixed up. I couldn't stop thinking about everything that had happened during the afternoon. My mind kept cutting between images of icy water stinging my skin and the feel of Jacob's warm body pressed against mine.

I wished that he was still close to me. I wanted to reach out and show him how much I loved him, but something held me back. I felt so guilty about the lies and the way I'd been behaving, that I could barely even look at him. As for Jake, he just sat on the couch, with his expression locked in a forbidding frown, and didn't say a word. To be honest, he hardly seemed aware of his surroundings as he stared into nothingness.

Sue didn't make much of an appearance, she just busied herself in the kitchen, and Seth and Marie went to hang out in his room. I kept wishing that I could escape to my own room. I was desperate to avoid the terrible atmosphere, but there was no way I could leave without giving rise to comment. I could only breathe a sigh of relief when Grandpa created a distraction by switching on the TV.

Jake didn't stay late. When he rose to leave, I walked him to the front door. The atmosphere was even worse than it had been the night before. I could feel the distance between us when Jacob said goodnight. My mouth went dry and I asked in a low voice.

"Do you still want to go hunting tomorrow?"

I knew that after the way that I'd been treating him, I didn't deserve his time. I was half expecting a refusal and was surprised when he agreed.

"Sure, if you still want to go."

I nodded gratefully. "Katherine and Seth have agreed to meet at the Seven Trees Hill, at eleven o'clock. I could meet you there too."

"Sure, I'll see you at eleven." He leaned forward to give me a hug. I slipped my hands around his waist and pressed my cheek against his t-shirt as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders. He rested his chin on the top of my head and gave a small sigh, before pressing a kiss onto my hair.

"Goodnight, honey."

I didn't really want to let go, but I felt him easing himself away, so I instantly released my hold and took a step back. I had no right to feel hurt, but somehow, I still did. I only hoped that it didn't show on my face.

"Goodnight, Jake."

He gave a slight smile and turned to go. I watched him walk down the steps and across the darkened yard with my heart in my mouth. I couldn't just let him leave.

"Jake…"

He turned back to me, expectantly. "Yes?"

And then I remembered that the only thing I could say to break down this awful barrier was something that I needed to keep to myself. It wasn't Jacob's job to solve all my family problems. So I just blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"Drive safely."

"Sure, thanks." He looked slightly disappointed, but quickly pulled himself together and added in a mild tone. "Make sure you get some sleep, you probably need it."

"Ok."

As soon as he had left, I went upstairs. I didn't even say goodnight to the family, I wasn't able to face them. I couldn't believe how quickly the situation with Jacob was degenerating. The most obvious thing was that my strategy wasn't working. I couldn't cope and Jake was miserable. I was going to have to find another way. Unfortunately, I had no idea what that should be.

I changed for bed, but didn't bother to get under the covers. Instead, I switched on my bedside lamp and tried to distract myself with a book. I was still stuck on page one when I heard a gentle knock at my door.

I glanced up. "Come in."

Grandpa cautiously poked his head around the door and spotted me lying on my bed, reading. There was a troubled look in his eyes. "Good, you're still awake."

Sitting up, I gazed at him questioningly. "Is everything alright, Grandpa?"

"Um, sure." He wandered in and came to sit on the bed. I scooted over to make room for him. "I just wanted to talk to you about something…"

"Ok." I eyed him warily. "What's up?" This must be fairly serious; Grandpa wasn't one for idle chit-chat.

"Well, sweetheart," he started reluctantly. "I wouldn't usually get involved, but you're a long way away from your mom…"

Uh oh, I could already feel where this was going. I tried to keep my expression passive, as he continued speaking in an uneasy voice.

"And I feel that I'm kind of in _loco parentis_, as they say, and your parents would expect me to look out for your wellbeing."

"Have I done something wrong, Grandpa?"

"No, of course not, sweetheart." He was quick to reassure me. "It's just that you're so young and I feel responsible for you. And I can't help noticing that things seem a little strained between you and Jake."

_Strained_ – well that was one word for it!

I didn't say anything so he just continued purposefully. "And I remember how hard your mom used to take things, when she was your age." He suddenly looked very anxious. "She got pretty upset when things weren't going well with your dad…"

This caught my attention and I was instantly curious to know more. I had heard that my parents had separated for a few months when they were first dating, and I wondered how my mother's behaviour had managed to make Grandpa feel so concerned. It must have been pretty bad.

"What happened? What did mom do?"

"Um… that's not important," he evaded. "The main thing is that I would hate to have anything like that happen to you."

I could tell that I wasn't going to get any good answers, so I gave up and tried to reassure him instead. "I'm fine Grandpa, really."

He had obviously psyched himself up for this little talk, because he refused to be put off. "It's clear that you're having problems." I must have looked fairly blank, because he quickly added. "I'm sure that he loves you Nessie, but Jake's so much older than you. I can see that it might put you under certain pressures…"

Oh, God. Please tell me that we weren't about to have _that_ conversation.

Squirming with embarrassment, I attempted to redirect his train of thought. "You don't have to worry, Jake's not pressuring me about… things."

My attempt failed. Grandpa was clearly taking the kamikaze approach to this discussion; he was going to go for it, no matter how horrendous it might be. He avoided meeting my eye as he added determinedly.

"That's good, because you shouldn't feel that you have to _do_ anything that you don't want to do. And sometimes men can find it difficult to take 'no' for an answer. Not that Jake would ever do anything like _that_," he added hurriedly, turning red.

This was already _so_ much worse than I thought it was going to be. I had to say something, before this conversation left us both permanently, emotionally scarred.

"It's nothing like that," I broke in abruptly. "Jake's great… I mean… he'd never pressure me. It's me." Grandpa looked perplexed, so I added helpfully. "I'm a little… _confused._" That was a good word, nice and vague. "And I need to figure out some stuff. But everything's going to be fine."

I didn't sound very convincing, even to myself. It was hardly surprising that Grandpa looked so concerned. He turned to me and said in a serious tone.

"I know that you're fond of Jake, Nessie. But you're still very young. However Jake may feel, you still have to do what's right for _you_. This is the time when you're allowed to make mistakes. Most people don't end up with their childhood sweethearts. They live a little, before settling down. If you rush into making an important decision – like who you should spend your life with – you may regret it. I should know," he added cryptically. "So whatever you decide to do about Jake, you don't need to worry. You're a very beautiful girl and he's not the only guy in the world."

I suddenly realised that Grandpa was now giving me the break-up pep talk. Things must have been looking pretty awful from the outside, if he thought that I was on the verge of leaving Jacob. This discussion was taking a remarkably depressing turn. I think I'd preferred it when he was telling me not be pressured into having sex.

"I'm not going to break up with Jake."

I _had_ to say it; I couldn't let that idea take root in Grandpa's mind. Apart from everything else, he might repeat it to Billy, or worse still, Seth. If I didn't watch out, the whole pack would start believing that I was having doubts about my relationship with Jake. I couldn't imagine how hurt Jacob would feel if I caused _that _little rumour to circulate.

Grandpa frowned at the floor, considering my words. After a long pause he looked up and his brown eyes were surprisingly sympathetic. "Listen Nessie; I just want you to know that whatever happens, I'll always be here for you."

Feeling unexpectedly emotional, I blinked and nodded. "Thanks Grandpa. That's good to know"

"That's ok." He gave an awkward smile and patted my hand, before adding in a thoughtful voice. "Whatever you decide to do, go easy on Jake, Nessie; he's a good guy."

I glanced away and tried to hide the fact that his words felt like a knife to my chest. I wanted to say something, but was unable to speak. Grandpa gave my hand one final pat and stood up. He clearly felt that he had said enough.

"Alright then, I should let you get some sleep. You look tired."

I managed to whisper. "Ok, thanks Grandpa…"

"Goodnight, sweetheart."

"Goodnight."

He left the room quietly, and I climbed into bed. I put my book on the bedside table and switched off the lamp. The room was very dark as I lay back in my bed. I took a couple of deep breaths, before burying my face in my pillow and bursting into tears.

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Thank you for last weeks reviews and list additions, as always, they were very much appreciated.**

**Thank you for reading, I hope you have a really good week, Mad :)**


	33. Leo, intuition

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you to willowbae for all her great beta-ing and entertaining emails, what would I do without them? :)<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 33.<strong>

**Leo – intuition**

I arrived home at sunset.

Hal appeared in the study doorway the instant that I opened the front door. The relief on his face was palpable.

"Leo… you're back."

I smiled and played it cool. "What did you expect? I live here."

He gazed at me with an unusually focused expression. "I don't know…" he said simply. "But I was worried when I left you in the forest."

I didn't want to think about those strange days in the wilderness, so I shrugged and sauntered into the house. "I'm ok. I just needed some time, that's all."

His white face was still sceptical. "So, you're really alright?"

I put my hand on my brother's shoulder and met his eyes. "Trust me, I'm fine." Then I added with a wicked smile. "You know me, Hal. Would I lie to you?"

He suddenly looked relieved. "You certainly seem more like yourself."

He was right, I was myself again. I had been right on the very edge and a pure voice had called me back. It had given me an unexpected sense of hope, and I knew that I couldn't ignore it. I had no idea of what was going to happen. Maybe it was just an illusion and I was destined for disappointment, but as long as this hope existed, I wasn't going back to that dark place again.

It wasn't that I had a very clear plan, but I did have a sense of purpose. I was going to find Nessie. She had spoken to me. She had something to tell me and I was going to find out what it was. This decision felt so right that I had to go with it.

My brother must have picked up on my mood, because he immediately asked. "How long are you staying?"

"Not long. I'm heading north. I need to see Red."

Hal threw me a quizzical look, but refrained from comment. He turned and went back into his study. I followed Hal into his sanctuary. Just like every other room in the house – apart from my own – every wall was covered with shelves of books and notes. Only someone with a perfect memory could have found anything in this place, and if Hal had been a human he would have run the daily risk of being crushed to death by a collapsing pile of papers.

He turned to me with a thoughtful expression. "Brandon's been trying to reach you for the last couple of days. He even called my number."

I was interested to hear that Brandon hadn't been satisfied with just leaving me messages. It must be urgent if he had bothered to contact my brother. He usually called me when Dominica left him, but he would never involve Hal unless it was something more major.

"I tried to contact you, to let you know," explained Hal. "But I couldn't get through."

He didn't sound at all reproachful, but I still felt a twinge of guilt. My phone had been switched off in the forest and I hadn't bothered to call him once. In my selfishness, I had left my brother with no way to reach me. What if he'd been in danger? Anything could have happened.

"God. I'm sorry, man… I didn't think," I said remorsefully.

"Don't worry; you probably didn't need the distraction. I understand." He gave a kindly smile, which only made me feel guiltier.

"So, what did Brandon want?"

"He didn't say, but I think you should probably speak to him."

As soon as I got to my room I picked up the phone and dialled. Brandon answered right away.

"Hey, Leo. Where the hell have you been?" His deep voice sounded serious.

"I was hunting. What's up?"

"Are you home?"

"Yeah, I just got back," I answered cautiously; I could tell by his tone that there was something wrong.

"I'm not far away. I'll be over in half an hour."

"Sure. See you later, man."

"Great." He hung up.

I frowned. What was going on? Brandon almost never left his territory. He understood that it was better to stay put and defend his turf; he let everyone else do the running. He didn't sound as if he was irritated with me and I couldn't think of anything I might have done to piss him off – well, not recently anyway.

I decided not to worry. I just went downstairs to warn Hal of Brandon's pending arrival. I then killed some time by taking a shower and getting changed. It was nice to wash off all the mud and grit that I had picked up in the forest.

I didn't rush, and by the time I breezed into Hal's study, Brandon was already waiting for me. Hal was sitting at his desk, looking mildly anxious, and Brandon was standing with his arms folded over his broad chest, resting against a bookcase. He was staring at the floor, but as soon as I entered the room he raised his dark head. He stood up to his full height and shook my hand with a friendly smile.

"Hey, it's good to see you Leo."

I patted his burly shoulder. "It's been a while."

"It has…" he said, drawing his dark eyebrows into a thoughtful frown.

Brandon was a good guy; straightforward, and a lot smarter than he liked to let on. We'd been friends for years. He had control of the southern Californian territories, so it was no surprise that he was big and tough. But he had a quality that was often overlooked, but I believed to be vital to his success; he was genuinely likeable. His popularity had always stood him in good stead when he was under threat.

"Is Dominica with you?" I wondered if he had brought his volatile mate on this trip.

He shook his head. "No, she wanted to stay home. She said she felt safer there."

My brows snapped together. If Dominica was edgy it meant that there was a real threat in the air. If she had a gift – apart from her startling beauty – it was for self-preservation. She seemed to have a sixth sense for danger and she knew just how to protect herself. It was no surprise that she always ended up mated to the most powerful male she could find.

I even believed that Dominica's murder of her old mate, Ramon, had been a manifestation of this instinct. She'd known that he was serious about the newborn girl, and realised how precarious her own position had become, so she struck first to protect herself. I didn't blame her for that. Ramon probably _would _have killed her if she'd given him the chance, he was pretty ruthless. This went through my mind, as I asked Brandon.

"What's going on?"

His jaw clenched in anger. "We had some visitors. They came in from the south, they didn't stay for long, but they took down Johnny." I could hear the hatred in his voice as he continued. "I don't know who the hell they were, they moved too fast and were gone before we realised what had happened."

"Damn."

This was bad. John was Brandon's second in command, he could look after himself – or so I'd thought. I noticed that Hal was listening with a very worried expression. We had both known Johnny for decades. I glanced at Brandon.

"How many?" I needed to know the size of the threat.

"Four."

"Newborn?"

He shook his head. "Not a chance. They were too fast, too smart and too damn organised."

This was looking worse and worse. My instincts were whispering 'danger.' The last thing that anyone needed was this coven of four mature vampires setting up shop in California and starting a turf war. No wonder Dominica was jumpy; I felt more than a little edgy myself.

"So, what are you doing this far north?" I raised my eyebrows questioningly.

"A few of us tracked them to Fremont, but we lost their trail." He sounded frustrated. "I sent the others home when we hit a dead end. I didn't want to leave my territory with too little defence."

I knew what was coming. When I was in the Western Army my creator had used me to track and kill any vampires who crossed his territory and caused trouble. I'd been good at it, they never got away. Brandon sometimes asked me to do this for him too. I would usually agree. I didn't mind, he was an old friend and the kind of guy that I preferred to keep on side.

Brandon met my eyes. "I think you know what I'm going to ask."

"Four to one, I don't like those odds."

"You've dealt with worse."

"Yeah, newborns… but you said this was a mature coven."

His expression became thunderous. "I just want you to find them. That's all. Once you've done that, we'll handle the rest." He gave a sudden grin. "Unless you want to stick around and join in the fun."

Ordinarily I would have been interested in the prospect of a trail like this, but I still wanted to see Nessie. I didn't want to get side-tracked on some hunt. These vampires might just be transients who would never bother any of us again. Of course Brandon would want to avenge John, but that wasn't really my problem.

I sat down on the edge of Hal's desk and replied evenly. "I'd like to help, but I've got to some important stuff to take care of, up north. It might take me a few days."

Brandon narrowed his eyes and gave me a knowing smile. "Who is she?"

"No one." I didn't really want to tell him about my mission, it was too weird.

Brandon wasn't to be deterred. "Do I know her? Is she a newborn? You know what they say about newborn girls…"

I rolled my eyes. I think we _all_ knew what they said about newborn girls. And it was true.

"Brandon, you've got a dirty mind, and if you're so interested in newborn girls, why don't you find out for yourself? Oh, I forgot… " I added with a grin. "You can't, because Dominica would kick your ass."

"True. That's why I've got to ask _you_ about it, you're the expert," he laughed good-naturedly and then continued questioning me about Nessie. "So this girl you're chasing..."

I met his gaze squarely. "It's not like that."

"Leo, with you it's _always_ like that." He gave a chuckle, and I was irritated to notice that even Hal was smiling.

"She's got a boyfriend," I snapped, attempting to quell them both.

Brandon answered with a cheerful lack of concern. "When has that ever stopped you?" He exchanged glances with my brother. "Do you remember we used to call him _bird dog?_"

"Yes." Hal nodded emphatically and I frowned. How come the most absentminded vampire on the planet could still remember _that?_

There was no way I was going to be able to convince Brandon that I wasn't after Red, so I gave up. "Anyway, I need to see her before I can do anything else."

Brandon became a little more serious. "I can see you've got it bad. But these vampires are a problem. You could at least go to the end of their trail, so if you cross their scents again you'll know them. Please, Leo. Johnny was your buddy too."

This was true; we'd had some good times, mainly involving vast amounts of carnage. I considered the idea for a moment, before suggesting a compromise.

"Ok, I'll go to Fremont tonight and see what I can pick up. You said they were headed north, so I don't mind tracking them as I make my way up to Washington. If they change direction, I'll come back to the trail after I take care of my own business. I won't be more than a few days, so the trail won't have time to go cold. I'll be in touch when I find something."

Brandon nodded appreciatively. "Thanks man, I knew I could count on you." His face became very harsh as he added. "Those guys aren't going to get the chance to make any more trouble. Not after what they've done."

He didn't stay long after that, he didn't want to hang around in San Francisco. He wanted to return to his territory, and his mate, as quickly as possible. We discussed a few minor details of the hunt and exchanged a couple of stories. When it was time for Brandon to leave, he wished Hal a friendly goodbye and I walked him to the front door. Standing on the doorstep, he gazed into the night and took a deep breath.

"I might go hunting before I head home." His sharp teeth glinted as he smiled. "Those girls next door smell great, they're making me thirsty."

An unpleasant image, of Brandon trapping little Sidney Finkleman in a dark room, flitted through my mind.

I caught his eye unsmilingly. "Don't hunt the neighbours."

He completely misunderstood my concern and reassured me. "Don't worry, man; I'm not dumb enough to blow your cover. I'll go to another district."

I was perfectly happy to let him jump to this false conclusion. The last thing I needed was a rumour circulating that I'd gone soft. It was bad enough that I had yellow eyes. Only Hal knew the real reason. Dominica and Brandon had an idea that it was because of Kathy, but none of those three would have told anyone else.

Everyone else assumed that my ability to resist human blood was a sign of my strength and mental discipline. It made guys wary and girls fascinated. I had that whole aura of mystery going for me and I wasn't about to disillusion anyone. No one who'd been stupid enough to challenge me on the subject had lived to repeat their views.

Brandon shook my hand and told me to come visit him sometime. "Maybe Vivienne will have forgiven you by then," he suggested optimistically.

I couldn't help chuckling at this remark, and shook my head. "I doubt it."

No one could hold a grudge like a vampire girl. They had the world's best memories. If you forgot to put out the trash, they would still be nagging you about it three decades later. So if you dumped one, they would still hate you three _centuries _later. And it didn't help that they were always looking for that 'one true mate' who was going to solve all their problems for them.

Brandon gave a wide smile. "You're probably right. She was really bitching about you the last time she came by. Dominica got so angry that she tore off her hand." I raised my eyebrows and Brandon added hurriedly. "We put it back on. But Viv should've known better, Dominica won't hear a word said against you."

"I'm touched that she thinks so highly of me."

To be honest, I was slightly surprised that Dominica had felt the need to champion me, when she seemed to get such a kick out of screaming abuse at me herself. Maybe it was different when someone else did it. She probably thought that it was _her_ job.

Brandon narrowed his eyes. "Apart from me, you're the only person she loves, Leo." He smiled ruefully. "I don't know why it doesn't bother me…"

"Because you've always known that she wants _you_, not me."

I should know. I was there the first time they'd laid eyes on each other; it had been a pretty nauseating spectacle. It was no surprise that Dominica and I hadn't hooked up since.

"That's true," he smiled happily, but the expression only lasted for a second. He threw me an anxious glance. "You know, Dominica still feels bad… for what she did."

Just hearing him mention that time made my chest tighten. I didn't want to think about Kathy, so I met his worried eyes and told him the truth. "Tell her she doesn't need to feel bad. I _never_ blamed her for what happened. That one was _all _me."

He nodded thoughtfully. "I'll try. But she won't believe me."

This was probably true. Dominica was like a spoiled child. She didn't have much of a conscience, but on those rare occasions when it did make an appearance, she would really beat herself up.

After Brandon left, I went back inside and wandered into my brother's study. He was sitting at his desk, already completely absorbed in his work. I had an uneasy feeling and I needed to speak to him.

"Hal." He looked up quickly, and I told him what was on my mind. "I was thinking, maybe you could go and stay with some friends while I'm away."

He met my eyes with a sceptical look. "Do you really think there's a need?"

"Yeah, I do." I paced the room distractedly. "I don't think it's safe for you here right now. We don't know who's out there. I have to go north, but I don't want to leave you here alone. They might head into San Francisco. Is there somewhere you could go? How about Carlisle's house? I bet he'd like to see you. You could leave tonight."

New Hampshire would be perfect. It was a long way from California, and Emmett, Jasper and Edward all lived there too. I assumed that they would be capable of protecting my gentle brother for a couple of weeks. Even Carlisle would be better than nothing. Hal would be safe while I headed north. I was readjusting my plans when I noticed him shaking his head.

"What's wrong?" I frowned.

He looked up. "I'm not sure if that would be a good idea."

"_Why the hell not?_" I snapped rudely. I knew Hal didn't exactly spend much time thinking about this stuff, but surely even _he_ could understand when the danger was real.

"Because the Cullens have enough to deal with right now," he replied thoughtfully. "They've just been forced to leave their home New Hampshire."

I stopped dead in my tracks. "What the hell…? When did this happen?"

"A few days ago." He frowned. "It was all very sudden."

"Why did they move?"

Hal wore a very sober expression as he stood up. "Jasper lost control and killed a young woman. It was very unfortunate and they needed to relocate quickly."

"You're kidding!"

I was genuinely surprised. They all seemed so good at what they did. For a second I almost felt smug, just knowing that the Cullens weren't so perfect after all. Maybe I wasn't the only person who could screw up. But this feeling was short lived as Hal added.

"Apparently, it's caused a great deal of upset in the family."

As he said these words a chill shot straight down my spine. If ever my intuition spoke to me, it was at that moment. And its message needed no interpretation.

I knew without a doubt that Nessie Cullen was in serious trouble. She needed help, I could just feel it. And unfortunately, I also knew that I couldn't turn a blind eye. She had pulled me away from the brink and I owed her. Whether or not I liked the fact, Red had become important to me and I couldn't ignore it.

And she was hundreds of miles away…

Cursing in frustration, I knocked the desk lamp across the room with an angry swipe of my hand. My brother jumped as it smashed against a bookcase and glanced at me apprehensively.

"Leo, what is it…?" My unexpected outburst made no sense to him.

I turned and stormed out of the room, barking over my shoulder. "I've got to get going. If you can't go to the Cullens, give Brandon a call, you can travel south with him… _do it now!_"

I headed straight to my room, to get my stuff together. Most of what I needed was already packed. I'd hardly had time to unpack since getting home. I threw some clean outdoor clothes into my backpack and changed into something more durable. I wanted to get to Fremont quickly, so I could continue on to Washington as soon as possible.

I was already regretting having agreed to help Brandon. I wanted to head north right away. But I reminded myself that since I'd done him the favour of saying that I would track the four strangers, he owed me my brother's safety. He wouldn't refuse to take Hal with him now.

My desire to see Nessie had increased tenfold. I wished that I hadn't ignored my intuition for so long. I should have visited her weeks ago. Damn it, she'd been going through my mind all this time. But I had been so busy moping like a jerk over Kathy that I had refused to acknowledge that I needed to get in touch with her.

It had taken her actually speaking to me out of thin air, for me to take notice. Nessie had yanked me from the abyss and given me hope. And now she was in trouble and where the hell was I? _Three goddamn states away! _I cursed again and left my room with my backpack.

I could hear my brother on the phone to Brandon. I was relieved to hear that he was still in town. He cheerfully agreed to take Hal with him to his territory. This was a real weight off my mind; it would be easier to go on this hunt without worrying about Hal.

Before Brandon came back, I discussed my plans with my brother. I asked him not to tell the Cullens that I planned to visit Red. I wasn't exactly sure what I was going to do, and I didn't want to give too much away. I was well aware of how protective they were and there was every chance that they would misunderstand my intentions. Hal agreed. He knew me well enough to be sure that I didn't mean the kid any harm.

Brandon arrived about twenty minutes later – with eyes a brighter shade of red – and I hustled Hal out of the house with him. Once they were gone, I collected my stuff and quickly locked up.

Standing on the doorstep, I slung my backpack over my shoulder and took a moment to glance along the darkened street. Everything was peaceful. I was glad to hear the Finkleman sisters happily chattering in their house. Tonight was a good night to stay indoors.

Good for everyone but me.

I jogged down the steps and headed into the night, without looking back.

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Thank you for last weeks list additions and reviews, they were lovely. A big thanks to Sarah, Olivia, Grease, Frank, Rach199, and SweetLaura for your reviews. I would have sent you PMs if I could have :)**

**Thank you for reading, have a really nice week,**

**Mad :)**


	34. Nessie, escape

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you to my wonderful beta willowbae for her help and dedication, and for her willingness to talk about shoes :)<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 34.<strong>

**Nessie – escape**

Seven Trees Hill was located in the Olympic National Park. It wasn't a proper hill; that was just the name that we had given the place years ago. It was actually a perfect circle of Douglas-firs growing on a high mound of earth in a dense part of the forest.

The mound was covered with a soft carpet of moss, which grew right to its edges. The light there was always soft and green, even in the height of summer, because of the heavy canopy of branches above. It had the feeling of a place that was very old and slightly magical. When I was little, I would stand on the edge of the mound and gaze down the steep banks, and imagine that I was in an ancient fortress. All it needed was a moat.

I usually loved visiting the hill, but on that particular Sunday morning, I could only feel trepidation about going there. Seth and I arrived slightly early. He was in wolf form, and I wasn't in the mood for talking, so we didn't have much of a conversation while we waited for the others. Katherine appeared soon after us.

Seth and Katherine had formed a surprisingly firm friendship. Seth understood that Marie wouldn't want to hang out with a vampire – not that he would ever admit it to me – so he usually arranged to meet up with Katherine when he went into the forest, hunting or running. I could tell that they enjoyed each other's company.

I was feeling slightly anxious about seeing her. After what Uncle Jasper had done, I wasn't sure if I wanted to spend time with any vampires. But as soon as I caught sight of my friend, I remembered that she had never murdered anyone and felt strangely reassured. She scaled the banks of the mound with ease and stepped onto the clearing with a cheerful smile.

"Hey Seth, how's it going?" She patted his shoulder and then turned to me. "Wow, Nessie, long time no see. How have you been?"

"Fine… I'm fine." I said hurriedly as she hugged me.

Considering the coolness of her skin, her hug made me feel surprisingly warm. It reminded me of my mom. This thought brought a lump into my throat and I squeezed her tightly. Katherine pulled back and met eyes. She tilted her head thoughtfully.

"You look tired. Are you ok?"

I noticed Seth glancing away, pretending not to listen, which only confirmed that he agreed with her.

"Sure." I gave a quick nod and dropped my gaze. "I just need to catch up on some sleep."

"Well, you can't call yourself a real student, unless you're suffering from sleep deprivation."

I glanced up. She gave me a kind smile and suddenly I _really _wanted to talk to her. I opened my mouth to speak and she threw me a quizzical look.

"What is it, Nessie?"

At that point it occurred to me that I had no idea of what to say, added to which, Seth was standing right beside me. My eyes fell in confusion.

"It's nothing."

Katherine didn't press me; she just turned her head. "I can hear Jake."

I instantly tensed up and my heart started to race. I knew that Seth and Kathy would be able to hear it. I wished that I could get a handle on my feelings. I was already a mess and Jake hadn't even come into view yet. I reached out and braced my arm against one of the Seven Trees. Taking a deep breath, I tried to relax and ignore the sharp pain in my chest. My heart steadied itself, but the pain remained. The imprint was rebelling against what I was doing to my soul mate.

I was relieved that Seth and Katherine weren't looking at me anymore; they were too busy watching for Jake's arrival. Moments later, I caught sight of his rusty wolf coat, darting through the trees towards us. I yanked my hand away from the tree trunk, and tried to affect a casual pose, as he bounded up the embankment into the clearing.

Katherine smiled at him. "Hi, Jake." And Seth met his eye and nodded.

Somehow, the pains in my chest actually seemed to be increasing with his close proximity. I could hardly manage a smile as he turned to look at me. My mouth felt dry as I tried to speak, and all I could manage was a tiny.

"Hi."

Jacob ambled over. His eyes never left my face. He stopped in front of me and gave my arm a small nudge with his head. My breathing hitched and I lifted my hand to his furry neck as he took a step forward and nuzzled my hair with his nose. It reminded me of how he used to treat me when I was a little girl, and I found myself leaning towards him and resting my forehead on his shoulder.

I had always found wolf Jake very comforting, he was like the world's best soft toy. He was so big, and soft, and warm. And even now, when I was in a state of turmoil, it was nice being with him like this. On a normal day this would have been the moment when I'd have rubbed his nose and sent him some thoughts. But my mind was in such chaos that I couldn't trust myself to send him any messages. I just continued to stroke the warm fur of his collar as he pressed his head against me.

We didn't stay like this for long. Seth and Katherine wanted to get going, so we left the clearing and headed through the forest, towards the mountain meadows, in search of black-tailed deer.

Katherine and Seth took the lead for several miles, while Jake and I followed a short way behind. As we approached the one of the familiar meadows, I could hear the ferocious snarls that told me that Katherine and Seth had just cornered their prey.

I picked up the pace and Jake easily matched my speed as we broke into the clearing. Katherine and Seth were busy with their kills. I could see the last of the herd disappearing into the trees, so I shot across the grass in pursuit. Jake branched away from me, racing into the trees to make his own route.

I headed back into the forest too. The adrenaline was making me feel good and easing the pain in my chest. I flew between the trees with a black-tail in my sights. It moved swiftly through the mossy undergrowth, but there was no way it was going to escape. To my left, I could hear that Jake had just brought down a deer. I closed the gap between my prey, and myself, and chose the perfect moment to run it to ground.

Taking those last few strides, I grasped the black-tail and wrestled it to the ground with ease. The terrified beast struggled against my merciless hold as I leaned down to take the fatal bite. I could hear the blood pulsing through its veins, calling me to finish the job. But as I curled back my lips, something stopped me.

The whole thing suddenly seemed too personal. I wasn't in the mood to deliver a death sentence on this poor creature. I could hardly understand why I had wanted to hunt it in the first place. I wasn't even hungry. I'd had no real appetite since hearing about Uncle Jasper's slip.

Pulling back, I released the deer and watched it struggle to its feet and bolt gracefully into the trees. My eyes were fixed on its path long after it had disappeared from view. Eventually, I moved from my crouching position to sit on the ground with my back resting against a fir. I didn't want to find the others just yet. I assumed that they would still be feeding and I needed a moment alone.

I closed my eyes and found myself praying for a way out of this mess. It would be so good to escape, just for a little while. I could give everything a chance to settle and pull myself together. The pain caused by Uncle Jasper's slip might become less immediate. I could find some distance and forget about the lies, and be myself again. Then I could return to Jacob and make him happy without the constant feelings of guilt and anger weighing me down.

But there was nowhere to go, except back to Seattle, or – worse still – to my family's new home in Illinois. I realised that if I carried on feeling this way, I would probably have to return to campus in the next couple of days. It would be better than staying in Forks and making Jake unhappy, which was all I'd been doing since arriving back.

I cursed myself for having come home at all. I should have let the dust settle and given myself more time before facing him. A couple more weeks and everything would have been fine. But there was no use worrying about that now; I just needed to get myself back to normal, before any more damage was done.

It wasn't long before I heard Jake approaching. I hurriedly rose to my feet and turned to meet him as he drew near. Even as a wolf, his confused expression was unmistakable. He was wondering what on earth I was doing. He glanced around, looking for the carcass of a deer. I met his eyes and said with an indifferent shrug.

"I wasn't hungry." He couldn't reply, which made it easy for me to ask nonchalantly. "Shall we go?"

We retracted our steps to the meadow, where we found Seth and Katherine, and we all headed back to the cottage. It was some distance away, but no one was in any hurry to get back, so we took a leisurely pace through the massive trees.

When we arrived, Katherine and I went straight inside, while the guys phased back into human form. As soon as I entered the living room I was struck by the change that had occurred since my last visit. A couple of weeks earlier the cottage had looked as if someone was living there, but now it was immaculately clean and tidy. Everything had been put away. Nothing was out of place. It felt just like a vacation cabin that was waiting for the arrival of its next occupants.

I glanced quickly at Katherine with my eyebrows raised. "It's so tidy."

I could hardly understand why this fact filled me with such a sense of dread. She seemed to understand that I was very anxious, because she answered me carefully.

"I wanted to leave everything where I found it."

Only one word filtered through. I repeated it stupidly. "_Leave...?_"

"Yes, I was planning on telling you today." She nodded, adding gently. "I've already trespassed for too long on your hospitality."

"No, you haven't." I shook my head and could hear the desperation creeping into my voice. "_Please_ don't think that. You can stay for as long as you like."

"It's been amazing, Nessie; I don't really want to go. But I can't stay here forever." Her golden eyes were full of gratitude. "Your cousins invited me to stay with them in Denali. I agreed to travel there in a couple of days."

"You're going to Alaska in a couple of days? That's so soon…!"

"They asked me to fly up earlier, but I waited because I really wanted to say goodbye to you properly."

"Oh, ok…" I nodded mechanically and felt my eyes starting to tear up.

Until this moment, I'd hardly realised how much I had come to depend upon her friendship. She understood my struggle with my vampire side in the way that no one else really could. And I could tell her things without fear of judgement or constraint. I had come to lean on her for help and advice. And now she was going away…

My bottom lip started to tremble. Seeing the look on my face, Katherine flew across the room and hugged me.

"Don't be upset Nessie. You know we'll keep in touch, right?"

I nodded into her shoulder and unsuccessfully fought back the tears. "I know… I'm sorry… I'm just going to miss you…"

"I'll miss you too." She patted my back reassuringly. "But we'll see each other again. You know we will."

At that moment, Jake strolled into the cottage, followed by Seth. He caught sight of my tearful expression and took a hasty step towards me.

"Nessie, what's wrong?"

There was a note of alarm in his voice, making it very obvious how stressed he'd been feeling in the last few days. He stopped in his tracks, unsure of what to do. Pulling away from Katherine, I guiltily brushed away my tears with the back of my hand.

"Don't worry." I tried to calm him. "I'm only being silly. I was caught off guard, that's all. Katherine just told me that she's leaving… she's going to Denali."

Seth glanced at Katherine in surprise. "Oh, when are you going?"

"The day after tomorrow."

She started to discuss her plans with Seth and I drifted away from her, lost in my own thoughts. Jake was still hovering, clearly uncertain if I would want his comfort. I wasn't entirely sure myself. Katherine's news had made me feel so upset that I didn't know if it was a good idea to get too close to him. If I didn't watch out, the floodgates would open and I would be confessing everything. So I turned my back on Jacob and wandered to the window.

I gazed out at the shadowy forest without really seeing anything, and tried to gain mastery over my feelings. I couldn't believe how low this news had made me feel. It seemed like the final straw. I knew that I was being selfish. Katherine had her own life and wanted to move on, but from my point of view, her departure couldn't have come at a worse time. It somehow highlighted how isolated I was becoming. She was going to Alaska and I was going to be left in Forks, lying and struggling to hold myself together, and making Jacob miserable.

For the second time that day, I wished I could go away _too_, if only to escape from this pain in my chest.

"Nessie, are you ok?" I suddenly felt Katherine's hand on my shoulder.

I turned away from the window and looked her straight in the eye. "Can I come too?" I hadn't even realised what I wanted, until the words were leaving my mouth.

"What do you mean?" My abrupt question caught her off-guard.

"Would you mind if I travelled with you to Alaska?"

By now Seth and Jake were both staring at me with startled expressions. Jake looked seriously unimpressed, so I tried to sound as if I was making a rational suggestion, rather than a completely wild and impulsive one.

"I'm having a week off college anyway. I could travel with you to Denali for a few days, and then come home next weekend. We could go camping or something… and then afterwards you could go to my cousins, the way you planned, and I could go back to college."

I felt very nervous as I made my request, half expecting Katherine to say that she didn't want me tagging along, but she just smiled kindly and said.

"I'd love you to come, but wouldn't you rather go when it's not so cold?"

Seth broke in anxiously. "Why don't you wait, Nessie? It's not the best weather right now; you might have more fun in the summer."

"No, I don't want to wait." The desperation leaked into my voice as I glanced around the room. Everyone was watching me closely, as if they expected me to throw a tantrum, or burst into tears. I turned my pleading eyes back to Katherine. "It would be fun. And I've been working so hard. I need a break… _please._"

She gazed at me for a moment with a thoughtful expression. I held my breath, bracing myself for rejection, but Katherine just smiled and nodded.

"Sure, you can come. We can go hunting, it'll be fun."

"Thank you." I sighed with relief and hugged her.

Just the thought of being able to escape, if only for a few days, made me feel as if a huge burden was being lifted. I happened to glance up and catch sight of Jacob's face. He wasn't looking at me. He was frowning at the floor and said nothing. In fact, he didn't really speak until we left. He just listened to Katherine and me making our arrangements without comment. It was left to Seth to fill in the void that was created by Jake's silence.

I knew that Jake wasn't pleased with my plan to go to Alaska, and it made me feel slightly uneasy, but no preferable solution had presented itself. Jake might not be able to see it, but I knew that this trip was for the best. I told myself that everything would be fine after I'd had some time away.

Seth, Jake and I eventually said goodbye to Katherine and left the cottage. We walked through the woods together, until Jake said to Seth.

"You go on ahead, I'll see Nessie home."

"Sure." Seth nodded and threw me a wary glance. "See you later, Nessie."

We both knew that Jake wasn't feeling too happy and probably wanted to speak to me without an audience. I affected unconcern and said goodbye in a relaxed voice, but inside I was feeling the just the opposite. Seth took off through the trees towards the town, and Jake and I followed a different route, across the river and through the forest.

We were well out of earshot of the cottage, before Jake stopped in his tracks and turned to face me. Folding his arms over his chest, he glared down at me with a heavy frown.

"Ok, you need to tell me what's going on, because, I swear to God, I can't keep up with you anymore."

My eyes fell and I mumbled. "I don't know what you mean."

"Like hell you don't," he snapped and then added in frustration. "Come on, Nessie… _Alaska!_" He shook his head in disbelief. "Yesterday you said that you didn't _care_ about going on vacation, and now all of a sudden you're flying to Anchorage! Where the hell did _that_ come from?"

I knew that I was on thin ice. Jake was sounding seriously pissed off and if I didn't watch out the whole situation would escalate. I laid my hand on his arm and tried to speak steadily.

"I have a week off. I thought it could be fun."

"No." He glowered. "I saw your face… this isn't about having fun."

I tried to justify myself. "I just need a break, that's all."

This was the wrong thing to say, because he pulled away from my touch, looking hurt and angry. "You mean a break from _me!_"

As usual, I was failing to calm the situation. "No, that's not what I meant. Don't put words into my mouth," I cried indignantly.

"I don't need to put words into your mouth; the way you've been acting says it all," he accused. His fists clenched at his sides and he met my eyes with a burning gaze.

I knew he was right and for some reason this knowledge filled me with anger. It blossomed out of my frustration with my family and my situation, and for a moment it overwhelmed my reason. I felt furious that Jake couldn't see through my subterfuge and understand that I was trying to protect the people I loved, most of all him.

How could he be so blind? I didn't want to be in this mess. I would much rather have been spending a happy week with him, instead of feeling the need to escape to Alaska. But I didn't have a choice, because at every turn I was blocked and forced down a road that I didn't want to take.

But as quickly as the anger flared up, it died down, leaving me with a strange sense of despair. I could only see one way out of my predicament and Jake was trying to stop me from taking it. I was completely trapped and I knew it. I stared up at him in anguish.

"Can't I do _anything_ without having to ask for permission first?"

My voice was suspended by something between a gasp and a sob, and I turned away to hide my face. There was no way out. I was going to have to stay in Forks and go crazy. I took a shuddering breath and tried to fight back the tears.

Jacob didn't reply; he just stepped forward and gathered me into his embrace. Wrapping his arms around my shoulders, he held me tightly and pressed kisses onto my hair. For the first time in days, I felt warm and secure. Desperate for the contact, I leaned in closer and listened to his strong heartbeat. I had missed being with him like this. I had missed him.

"Hey, it's ok…" All Jake's anger seemed to have evaporated as he gently rubbed my back. "No one's trying to stop you, honey. I'm just worried about you, that's all. I know you don't want to talk to me, but I don't know what else to do."

Resting my palms against his chest, I spoke in a muffled voice. "It's not you, Jake. I'm not finding things easy right now. I just need some time and I'll be fine."

I glanced up to find that he was watching me intently. Gazing into his dark eyes, I was relieved to see that they weren't angry anymore, just concerned. I reached up and gingerly touched his cheek with my fingertips. This was the first message that I'd sent him since arriving in Forks.

_I'm sorry… I wish I wasn't being this way._

He sighed and held me tighter. "Are you sure you need to go away?"

I nodded. _I'm sorry… _

He lifted his hand and placed it over mine. "Don't worry, you don't need to apologise. It's going to be ok." He squeezed my fingers reassuringly. "Maybe a trip away will do you good. You haven't been yourself lately… and I know I'm not really helping."

_It's not you, Jake._ I lowered my gaze and nestled closer, feeling very guilty.

"That's ok. I guess there are some things that you might not want to discuss with me." He sounded surprisingly sympathetic. "I sometimes forget how far away Bella and your aunts are. But maybe you could speak to Katherine. She might understand some stuff better than I could. You know…" he added awkwardly. "Being a girl."

My eyes flew wide with astonishment. By some amazing stroke of luck, Jake had decided to interpret my erratic behaviour as being related to the fact that I was a teenage girl. He probably thought it was something that I was too embarrassed to tell him about.

Well, I wasn't about to disillusion him! I kept my face averted and nodded. "Maybe."

I couldn't believe it. Jake's incorrect assumption meant that I really would be able to sweep this whole incident under the carpet. I could go to Alaska, get my head together, and then come home my normal self with no one any the wiser. I felt more hopeful than I had in a week. Perhaps everything really would be ok after all.

Two days later Katherine and I drove to Seattle, to catch the flight to Anchorage. Jake wasn't exactly cheerful in the time leading up to my departure, but he put on a brave face for my sake. He didn't want me so far away, and I could tell that he had to fight his instincts not to try and stop me leaving. But he understood that it was important to me, so he didn't try to talk me out of it.

Grandpa was surprised by announcement that I was going to Denali. But he was aware that I had cousins living there and assumed that I would be staying with them. I decide not to mention that I actually intended to spend several days camping in the Alaskan wilderness. I knew he'd only worry unnecessarily.

I didn't bother to tell my parents what I was planning to do. I was still feeling too angry with the whole family. I thought that Grandpa would probably mention it to them if my mom called during the week, but by then I would be long gone. I knew that Jake, Seth and Grandpa would take it for granted that I'd discussed this trip with the Cullens, so just I let them carry on believing it. I wasn't in the mood for explanations. I was sick and tired of answering to other people.

On the morning of my departure, Jacob came to see me off from Grandpa's. He arrived well before sunrise and it was still dark and very cold. I was driving to the big house to collect Katherine, and from there we were heading straight to Seattle to catch an early flight.

Jake looked very anxious as he leaned forward and kissed me goodbye. My heart gave a twinge, but I reminded myself that everything was going to be better soon. Resting his hand on my cheek, he tilted my head up to meet his gaze. I could see the concern in his eyes as he brushed my cheekbone with his thumb. He opened his mouth to speak, but stopped himself and shook his head as if he was trying to dispel an unwelcome thought.

I didn't like to see him looking so troubled, so I asked. "What is it Jake?"

He sighed and his dark eyes became grave. "I'm sorry, honey. I can't help worrying about you."

"Don't worry. I'll be back before you know it," I said bracingly, leaning forward and giving him a hug. "You'll hardly have any time to miss me."

Jacob didn't seem entirely reassured. He gripped me tightly, clearly reluctant to let go. "_Please_ try to stay safe, Nessie."

I nodded solemnly and climbed into the car. "I will."

As I drove away, I could still see Jake in the rear-view mirror. He stood in the road outside Grandpa's house with his arms crossed, watching until I disappeared out of sight.

I was sorry to see that his brow was still furrowed by an anxious frown.

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Just to let you know, next Saturday I will not be posting a chapter. **

**My brother is getting married that day. I am really looking forward to the wedding, but I don't think I'll have time to edit or post a chapter with the busy week I've got coming, and I'll have no opportunity on Saturday (especially since I'm supervising the bridesmaids!). But I will be posting again on the following Saturday. **

**Thank you for reading, and a special thanks to my very nice reviewers and the people who've added this story to their lists. And a quick thank you to last week's reviewers who I couldn't PM: Sarah, Frank, Joanna, Olivia and Rach199. I appreciated your kind words :)**

**Have a lovely week, **

**Mad :)**


	35. Leo, ghost

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

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><p><strong>Thank you to willowbae for all her help and great beta-ing :)<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 35.<strong>

**Leo – ghost**

I caught the trail in Fremont. It was very faint and I could understand why no one in Brandon's crew had picked it up, not one of them had a sense of smell anywhere near as powerful as mine. But it wasn't just that; there was a certain point when following a trail became more than just picking up a scent. It was when you needed a strong inner voice telling you the movements of your prey.

It made my job more straightforward that the four vampires were still together. Apart from everything else, it meant that they left a more noticeable trail. It was easier for a lone vampire to disappear. The same rule applied to tracking. I always found it easier to focus on a trail when I was by myself. And if I wanted to use the element of surprise, it helped not to be travelling with a band of rowdy companions.

The coven swiftly moved north from Fremont, passing through Redding and up to Portland, leaving a very tidy trail of death behind them. I was relieved that they were heading away from San Francisco. When I called Hal at Brandon's villa, I considered telling him that he could return home, but in the end I decided not to risk it. There was always a slim chance that this coven would loop back down again. I wanted to take a little more time before declaring the coast clear.

For my own convenience, it was great that they were headed in just the direction that I wanted to go. It was amazing how much better I started to feel as I headed north. My instincts told me that I needed to see Nessie again. So, by answering this call, for the first time in weeks I felt as if I was swimming with the current, rather than against it.

It was only after I crossed the Washington border that our paths diverged. I knew that I was several days behind the four vampires. The two graves in the woods near Lacamas Lake confirmed the fact. As always, they were scrupulously neat and well hidden. Brandon was right; there was no way that a coven of newborns would be so cautious. These four knew the price of being too conspicuous.

Leaving Lacamas Lake, the coven made a slight change in direction and took a northeasterly route. I wasn't sure if they wanted to travel right up into Canada, or would move east to Idaho, but that was when I left the trail. It was tough, because once I was tracking it went against all my instincts to just walk away. But the call to see Red was more imperative, and I was confident that after I'd seen her I would find their trail again. I took comfort in the fact that at least they were headed away from California.

From that point I followed a northwesterly course, travelling straight up to Nessie's hometown. Carlisle had mentioned to Hal that she was planning to spend a week there, instead of at college. I was grateful for this piece of information, because it saved me the trouble of dragging myself to Seattle for nothing.

Hal had given me her Grandfather's address in Forks. I knew that she usually stayed with him when she was in town and I planned on surprising her there. Nessie had seemed sincere when asking me to visit, so I didn't think she would mind. I thought that she'd probably be pleased. After all, she _had_ spoken to me through time and space!

As I travelled through Washington I went over everything that Hal had said before I'd hustled him out of the house with Brandon. He had taken great pains to tell me about the Olympic Peninsula and its supernatural inhabitants. He was anxious for my safety in an area populated by shapeshifting wolves, which were – by all accounts – huge and deadly.

He repeatedly reminded me of the Cullen's treaty and which territory I should avoid. He didn't forget to point out that Bella Cullen's stepbrother and stepsister were also part of the pack. He was clearly anxious that I was going to act like a moron and go crashing straight onto the wolves' land. Hal needn't have worried, I had more sense of self-preservation than that, and I had no desire to make things awkward for the Cullens. But his information was useful and I fully understood the need for caution.

I arrived in Forks on Wednesday morning. It was just before eight and although I was tempted to go straight to Nessie's house, I decided against it. She was a sleeper and lived with humans, so it seemed like a better idea to wait for a couple of hours before appearing on her doorstep.

Taking a stroll around town seemed a good way to kill some time. From what I could tell, Forks was a fairly quiet place. Everything in the town was about lumber. But with its location and weather, I could still understand why it had become home to a large vegetarian coven.

Every now and then I caught a trail of scent very much like that pungent dog smell that hung around Red. I wasn't long before I noticed that it was more than one person's scent that I was picking up. I began to realise just how many of these wolves must be in the area. Hal's warning didn't seem so excessive after all.

It didn't take long to circle the town and I still had some time on my hands. My curiosity got the better of me and I decided to go and check out the Cullens' house. If their New Hampshire place was anything to go by, it had to be worth a look. I had a fair idea of where I was going. Again, my ever-useful brother had taken the trouble to explain just where it was. I hardly needed to use my tracking skills when I had Hal and his Internet maps.

They lived a few miles outside of town and I had no trouble finding the house. I could appreciate how discreetly located it was, situated at the end of an unmarked driveway in the woods. I had to admit that the Cullens were good at what they did. They had their lives worked out, down to the finest detail.

Just like their home in New Hampshire, it was a fine old house. As I approached the building I gazed around me admiringly. I stopped outside the front door and breathed in the damp air. I instantly caught a trace of Red's distinctive scent. I smiled fondly at her familiar vanilla bouquet. It was strangely comforting to know that she'd been there within the last day or so.

I glanced at the huge house and then towards the overgrown garden, slowly taking another breath. This time I was hit by different fragrance…

Just for a moment, all time stood still.

_It couldn't be…!_

I stood unmoving, with my eyes wide and every muscle in my body tensed, as if I'd just seen a ghost.

I took another breath.

And there it was again, standing out in contrast to the heavy aromas of damp earth and overgrown forest, a light sea breeze. It was the scent that I would know _anywhere_; the most magical, the most evocative perfume in existence, and one that belonged to a girl who I'd missed so much that I had nearly lost my mind. The girl who had disappeared off the face of the earth.

For a moment I was so stunned that I actually doubted myself, but as her scent enfolded me, I knew with certainty that it was really her. She was real. She had been here. Katherine had stood on this very spot no more than a day ago.

As soon as I could move, I spun around, half expecting to find her standing behind me. But the damp garden was still deserted and I could hear nothing. I took another breath, and then another. The effect of her fragrance was addictive. After such a long period of abstinence, I couldn't get enough of it, that elusive scent of the surf.

I closed my eyes and allowed her essence to fill my lungs and my mind. For a moment I was beyond all rationale. The knowledge that she was so close, when I had so resolutely believed her to be lost, was hard to comprehend. My thoughts were in turmoil as my heart burned with feelings of joy, yearning and regret.

Moving forward, I instinctively followed the trail of scent, desperate to find its source. It led away from the house, across the lawn and into the forest. I swiftly passed through the trees and, bit by bit, questions started to filter into my mind. Questions like, 'what in God's name is Kathy doing _here?'_

I tried to make sense of it. It was impossible. She didn't know the Cullens.

They had told Hal and me about several other vegetarian vampires of their acquaintance, but they'd _never_ mentioned Katherine. Of course, they might have concealed her whereabouts deliberately, hoping that I would never find her.

Just considering this possibility filled me with rage. What right did they have to keep her from me? But then it occurred to me that Kathy might have requested their silence. Could I really blame her? Could I really blame them? My anger was instantly replaced by guilt.

When she was a newborn, I'd told Kathy that when she was ready she could leave me and go her own way. I just hadn't believed that she would actually do it. I shouldn't have been so surprised. I had given her plenty of reasons to hate me. So presumably, if she's told the Cullens to lie to me, she didn't want to be found, which meant that she must _still_ hate me.

I stopped in my tracks. If Kathy didn't want to see me, then maybe I should leave her alone.

I didn't consider this idea for more than a split second. However much she might want me to walk away, I knew that there was absolutely no way that I could do it. I'd allowed her to escape once before and had regretted it ever since. It was beyond me to let her go again.

I needed to see her. If only to find out how she was doing. In the years we'd been apart, I had spent so much time worrying about her. I'd imagined her being lonely or unhappy. In my darkest hours, I had pictured Katherine being sucked into a brutal coven and being mistreated, or even killed. I'd been desperate to know what had happened to her, at the very least for my own piece of mind.

And now, out of the blue, she had reappeared and it seemed that I would finally discover the truth. I caught my breath as I realised how close she must be…

Without hesitation, I continued to follow her scent across the wide river and through the moss-covered forest. I wasn't really thinking straight. If I had been, I would have considered the fact that Kathy might find it a shock to see me after fifty five years of absolutely no communication between us.

If this thought had occurred to me, I might have taken a different approach to contacting her. But my emotional overload, and the effect of her scent on my system, drove all the logic out of my head. I couldn't hold back. I hadn't thought of what I was going to do, or say. I just _had_ to see her.

The trail took me right up to a place that I'd heard Nessie speak of; a small cottage, nestled deep in the woods like something straight out of a fairy tale. Katherine's scent was everywhere; she had obviously been living there. It made the whole situation seem even more surreal. Had Kathy turned into Snow White?

That was when my brain started to re-engage and I wondered if my sudden appearance might panic her. I cursed myself for being such an insensitive jerk, how else was she going to feel? She hadn't seen me in years and here I was, just rocking up on her doorstep like it was no big deal. She'd probably heard me coming and instantly freaked out.

God, I was already screwing this up. It seemed that some things never changed…

I stood gazing at the house, in a state of limbo. I couldn't go forward, I certainly couldn't leave. Was I going to stand outside the cottage, like an idiot, for the rest of eternity? And just as I was trying to resolve my dilemma, it disappeared altogether, because my inner voice told me that Kathy wasn't there.

I was almost too disappointed to feel angry. Almost, but not quite.

I knocked down a large tree in my frustration. It came down with a loud crash, narrowly missing the Cullens' cottage. If I hadn't been so pissed off, I might have felt relieved not to have squashed Nessie's picturesque home. But at that moment, the only thought in my head was, 'where the hell is Kathy?'

I took a look around outside the cottage. It had the look of a building that had been closed up for the season. The scent was at least a day old. Had Kathy moved on? I knew that Hal wouldn't have told the Cullens of my plan to visit. I wondered if she'd had a premonition about it. I knew how intuitive she was, so it was certainly a possibility.

I couldn't believe it, she was agonisingly close, but still one step ahead. Was I destined to live out the same nightmare scenario again and again? Maybe it was lucky that I couldn't sleep. If I could, I'm sure that my dreams would have been haunted by a hopeless quest, searching for a girl who could never be found.

But before I could fall into a state of despair, I was bolstered by a new hope. I remembered that I was actually awake. This wasn't a nightmare. Kathy had been here. She had been here _yesterday_. I was tracker, damn it! I could find her. More than that, I _would_ find her.

She would be mine again.

This idea caught me off-guard. What the hell was I thinking? Kathy had _never_ been mine. And any chance that she might have been was destroyed by the way that I'd treated her.

Ok, so she wouldn't be mine… but I could still see her, which was good. In fact it was the best goddamn thing that could ever happen to me. There was always a slim chance that we could hang out and relive old times. Not the ones where I'd made her life a living hell, but the good ones, where we'd got on ok and almost been friends. I smiled at this appealing idea.

Now all I had to do was find her.

This meant that I was faced with a choice; I could either follow her trail directly, or get some answers first. My impatience told me to just follow her, but my instincts stepped in and reminded me that there was too much at stake not to take a more thoughtful approach.

At this point my attention finally turned to Nessie. How much did she know about my history with Katherine? Had she been sworn to secrecy? There was no doubt in my mind that this was why she'd spoken to me, which meant that whatever she might have agreed to do, Nessie Cullen had _wanted_ to tell me that she'd found Kathy.

I'd always liked Red – and now I knew why.

Taking this into consideration, it made sense to speak to Nessie before charging off and doing something that I might regret. Anyway, for all I knew Katherine could actually be with Nessie, so I might kill two birds with one stone by finding her. Whatever happened, I wasn't going to get any answers by just hanging around in the forest. My sense of purpose returned as I retracted my steps out of the woods and back to town.

It was past midday when I reached Nessie's home. It was probably lucky that I'd been given her address, because there was an overpowering smell of wet dog surrounding the house and it almost completely masked every other scent. Even I would have had trouble picking up her trail here.

The dog smell made it difficult for me to distinguish whether or not Kathy was at the house. I couldn't smell her and I quickly realised that I couldn't feel her presence either. I was fairly sure that she was nowhere nearby. Although this was disappointing, I had to admit that it might be better to speak to Nessie alone. All I had to do was work out what I wanted to say.

After several minutes of pointless hovering, I went up to the house and knocked twice. A tall young woman with a dark complexion and a black ponytail answered the door. She was nicely dressed and would have been attractive if it hadn't been for the _awful _smell. With a scent this terrible she had to be part of the wolf pack.

I guessed at once that she was Bella's stepsister. And she instantly realised that I was a vampire. She stood in the doorway with a deeply hostile expression on her face.

"What do _you_ want?" She glared angrily at me.

I admired her ability to get to the point without wasting any energy on good manners. I didn't waste words either. It was clear that any effort I made to charm this girl would be futile.

"I've come to see Nessie Cullen. I'm a friend of hers."

"She's not here." She spoke with a faint sneer and didn't bother to elaborate.

So, it was going to be like _that_, was it?

I made a half-hearted attempt to be civil. "Do you know where she is?"

"No."

This girl was already getting badly on my nerves. There was no way I was going to travel this far to let _her_ give me the brush off. I was going to get my answers one way or another. I folded my arms and glared down at her, but before I could say anything, another figure appeared behind her.

"Leah, who is it?"

The door opened wider to reveal a big guy. He stood behind the girl and looked me up and down. By the smell and resemblance between them, I guessed that he was her brother. She turned to him and replied angrily.

"_It's_ a friend of Nessie's."

As he looked at me, I noticed that his expression was more cautious than hostile. He pushed past the girl and stepped onto the porch. Even at this distance, I could feel the heat radiating off his body. He was even bigger that I'd realised and strong looking. I wondered if all the wolves were like this. I hoped it was just him.

"Nessie's not here right now," he said calmly.

"So I gather." I struggled to keep the sarcasm out of my voice. A fight wouldn't help me get the information I needed. "Can you tell me where she is?"

He frowned thoughtfully. "You're Leo, aren't you?"

I wasn't sure how he knew this, but I nodded anyway. "Yeah."

"I'm Seth, Nessie's step-uncle." He gave a reserved smile. "She told me about you. She'd want me to help you."

"Sure, ok." I was pleased to hear that Red would feel this way – and that he was decent enough to give a damn.

He threw a glance at the girl, who was still hovering in the doorway, scowling. "It's ok, Leah. He's a friend of the Cullens, I'll talk to him."

"Fine! Just don't let him in the house," she snapped, before turning on her heel and slamming the door. I heard her muttering resentfully from inside. "Why does the bloodsucker have to show up the day _I'm_ here?"

He sighed and turned back to me. "Sorry about that."

"She doesn't owe me anything." I shrugged.

Seth gave a rueful smile and changed the subject. "Nessie went away with a friend, they left town yesterday."

I knew that I should keep my enquiries casual if I didn't want to make him suspicious, so I tried to hide my disappointment. I reminded myself not to jump to any conclusions. I didn't even know if she had gone away with Katherine.

"Where did she go?" I spoke in a light tone. "Will she be back soon?"

"Her friend wanted to take a trip to Alaska and Nessie decided to travel with her. I think she was only planning to go for a few days."

"_Alaska!_" I repeated in surprise. This seemed a pretty far-flung destination, besides which, the place was just a big lump of snow. "What the hell does she want to go _there_ for?"

There was something very wrong here. I could feel it. I wasn't playing it quite as cool as I intended, but luckily Seth didn't seem to think that my reaction was strange, he just smiled understandingly.

"Nessie has family there."

This rang a bell. "Yeah, of course… her cousins in Denali. She told me about them."

"That's right." He nodded. "They invited Katherine to stay. But she and Nessie wanted to go hunting for a few days, before she visits them."

I had a pretty good instinct for when I was being lied to, and the way that Seth mentioned Katherine so casually, made it clear that he was unaware of any connection between us. This could mean that Nessie didn't know that I was Katherine's creator, or that she just hadn't told him about it. I decided to try some subtle probing.

I raised my eyebrows and asked innocently. "Katherine?"

"Oh, sorry," he explained quickly, running his hand through his dark hair. "She's the friend that Nessie went away with."

"She's a vampire then?"

"Yeah, but she's like you, only feeds on animals."

There were no surprises there. I couldn't imagine Kathy _ever_ slipping. Self-control was her middle name.

Seth continued. "I guess you don't know her."

I shook my head wordlessly. Just knowing that I was with someone who'd seen her so recently was making me feel surprisingly emotional and I didn't trust myself to speak. I just kept my expression passive as he continued.

"Katherine only arrived in town last month, but she and Nessie became pretty good friends. She's a nice girl. I like her," he added with a smile. "I was sorry to see her go."

Fighting back the flash of jealousy that this comment provoked in me, I tried to focus on what he was saying; Nessie hadn't known Kathy when we'd met in New Hampshire. This situation was getting progressively stranger. And then it occurred to me that his last remark was quite cryptic. Wasn't Katherine coming back?

I was desperate to discover what she was doing, but I thought that it might seem pretty weird if I started interrogating him about a girl who I was claiming not to know, so instead I asked.

"When is Nessie coming home?"

"I'm not quite sure." Seth deliberated for a moment, before adding cautiously. "Her boyfriend, Jacob, probably knows more than I do. You could ask him."

He looked slightly uncomfortable – as if he wasn't entirely sure that he should have made this suggestion – but I wasn't worried about meeting Red's wolf, as long as I could get the answers I needed. I just smiled gratefully and asked where I could find the guy.

"Jake said he'd be working today, so he'll be at his garage. It's just outside town." Seth gave me the directions and politely shook my hand as I thanked him. His hand was scorching, just like his niece's.

As I made my way to the garage, it occurred to me that my plan to see Nessie was proving to be more complicated than I'd originally envisaged. It already had that annoying 'wild goose chase' quality to it. And I also realised that although the mystery of why Nessie had spoken to me was now solved, the nagging worry – which I'd felt since hearing about the Cullens' move – was still lurking in the back of my mind. Something wasn't quite right. Nessie was making a mistake. I just _knew_ it.

This would have been the perfect moment to walk away. But I also knew that it wasn't really an option. I liked little Red, and the debt that I owed her had increased, rather than lessened. She had saved my sanity and now it seemed that she'd found what I had lost. And since I'd discovered that Kathy was with her, my involvement in whatever mess she was in now seemed pretty much inevitable.

My trusty instincts told me that I was walking into a minefield. Just for starters, I was going to have to introduce myself to her Alpha wolf boyfriend, and in my experience boyfriends were notoriously touchy. But somehow, I still had a feeling that this would be the least of my worries. Who knew where it was all going to end?

I gave a weary sigh. How did girls manage to make everything so complicated?

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Back again! **

**I just want to say a big thank you for the reviews, and a special thanks to the people I couldn't PM, Olivia, Sarah and SweetLaura. And also thank you**** for the lovely wedding good wishes that some of you sent. **

**The wedding went really, really well. It was a great day. The bride and groom looked very happy, and the bridesmaids behaved themselves...!**

**Have a great week, thanks for reading, Mad :)**


	36. Leo, the wolves

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

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><p><strong>Thank you to my wonderful beta willowbae for all her help :)<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 36.<strong>

**Leo – the wolves**

I found the garage without any trouble. Even without Seth's directions, I couldn't have missed it; all I had to do was follow the scent of wet dog. Seriously, how could Red stand it? More than that, it was obvious that she actually _liked_ it. When I saw her in New Hampshire, half the time she was wearing her boyfriend's oversized sweatshirt.

I approached the garage along the damp forest road, and when it came into view, I could see that Nessie's boyfriend wasn't alone. The garage doors were wide open and there was a young guy wearing overalls, working on a car outside. A couple more were loitering nearby, dressed in shorts and t-shirts. These two looked so remarkably similar that they could only be twins. All three looked tall and strong, and as they were upwind of me, I could smell that they were all shapeshifters.

They hadn't yet noticed me and I could hear their conversation as I approached.

"I swear, when I told her I was Jamie, she _totally_ believed me…" one of the twins was saying in a loud voice. "And she said I was better looking than she remembered," he added boastfully.

"That's crap," his brother interjected with a grin. "Ok, I'll admit she fell for it, but she never said _that!_"

"Whatever, man. You're just in denial."

The guy in overalls had been pretty quiet until now, but he glanced up from the engine and said with a rueful smile. "You'd just better hope her brothers don't find out."

"We could take them."

He just shook his head in resignation and returned to his work.

If this was Jake, he wasn't quite what I was expecting. Ok, he was clearly a big guy, but from the things I'd heard about him, I had imagined someone who looked tougher and more experienced. I thought he was supposed to be a vampire slayer! But let's face it, Red wouldn't be the first girl to exaggerate her boyfriend's amazingness, even vampire girls were prone to do that.

As I was mulling over this idea, one of the twins glanced in my direction and immediately froze. He swore under his breath and the other two jerked their heads round with superhuman speed. I could hear them cursing as their hearts started to race. They all looked seriously on edge as I continued to stroll in their direction.

I wasn't exactly relishing the idea of being attacked by a pack of wolves, but I thought that if I just stayed calm and didn't make any sudden moves, then it would probably be alright. On several occasions in the past, I had saved my own life with no more than a show of confidence. This was not the moment to expose any weakness.

As I drew near, I noticed that one of the twins was starting to shake violently. It was mainly happening to his hands and arms. He put his fists to his brow, as if he was trying to control himself. It was really freaky; I could actually see the tremors moving up his skin. The other two suddenly realised what was happening.

His twin caught hold of his arm. I could hear the stress in his voice as he attempted to calm his brother. "Jamie, don't lose it now, man. _Please,_ keep it together…"

The guy in the overalls turned towards the garage and called out anxiously. "Hey, _Jake!_"

A husky voice answered from inside. "What's up?"

A second a later, a man appeared in the garage doorway. Everything about him told me that I'd just found Jacob. It was even worse than I'd expected. He was absolutely huge, about six foot seven and really muscular, besides which, he had that unmistakeable air of authority that I would expect from someone in his position. I had no trouble believing that this guy had killed vampires – and he wasn't even in his wolf form.

He seemed to take in the whole situation instantly. He threw me no more than a cursory glance, before swiftly moving towards the shaking twin. He stopped in front of him and gripped his shoulders, staring him straight in the eye and speaking calmly.

"Jamie, its ok… just take deep breaths. Look at his eyes, he's not hostile." Jake threw me a glance over his shoulder and issued his instructions in a cool voice. "Just stay where you are, don't come any closer for a minute."

"Sure." I nodded. I had no desire to throw myself into the middle of this little drama.

He turned back to the shaking twin, whose brother was still trying to calm him, and continued to speak evenly. "He's a friend of Nessie's." How come they _all_ knew who I was? "He hasn't come to make trouble. Come on kid, keep breathing… try to focus."

After a couple more minutes coaxing, he managed to calm the twin enough to stop the tremors. I watched the whole scene with a kind of morbid fascination. I assumed that this shaking was some sort of preliminary to shape shifting, and I could only feel relieved when Jake brought the situation under control. He released the boy and took a step back. The other twin still maintained a firm hold on his brother and continued to murmur quiet assurances.

Jake looked at the kid in overalls and said quietly. "Steve, why don't you call it a day?"

Steve glanced nervously from Jacob to me. "Don't you want me to stay?"

"No." There was a firm edge to his voice. "I've got everything covered. I want you to get these two back to La Push."

"Ok, if you're sure." Steve looked uncertain.

"I am." He replied calmly and turned to the twin who hadn't been shaking. "Laird, take Jamie to Sam's house, tell him what happened, he'll help you."

Laird sounded grateful. "Sure, thanks Jake. I'm sorry about this."

"Don't worry about it, we've all been there. You should have seen Paul in the old days." He patted his shoulder kindly. "Just get him out of here before he loses it."

With these words, Laird started pushing his brother towards one of the cars parked nearby and Steve helped him. Jamie may have stopped shaking, but he still looked stressed and unfocused, they had to pretty much shove him into the car, before quickly driving away.

Jacob watched them leave and once we were alone, he turned to me with a frown. He wasn't remotely intimidated, which instantly won him my respect. Taking couple of steps forward, he folded his arms over his broad chest and looked me straight in the eye.

"You're Nessie's friend, Leo, aren't you?"

"Yeah." I returned his gaze. "You must be Jake."

He continued to hold eye contact and his frown deepened. "That's right. Nessie's my girlfriend."

This wasn't the first time I'd encountered a territorial boyfriend and, in fairness, they had usually been justified in their suspicions. But on this occasion I knew that my conduct was beyond reproach. In my dealings with Red, I'd been cleaner than a choirboy. But convincing Jacob of that fact might prove to be uphill work.

I took a chance and held out my hand. "It's good to meet you." He reluctantly shook my hand, as I added. "Red told me about you."

"Red?" He looked confused.

"Sorry, I mean _Nessie_."

The frown was back again. Hmmm… maybe it wasn't a good idea to let him know that I had a nickname for his girlfriend, it sounded too personal. Still, I couldn't take it back now; I was just going to have to brush over that little detail. Unfortunately, before I'd had a chance to redeem myself, Jacob spoke again. He didn't mince his words.

"Why are you here?"

"Your friend, Seth, told me that I should speak to you."

"_Seth?_" He looked slightly confused, and at that very moment his phone rang in his pocket. He pulled it out and checked the screen. "Speak of the Devil." He raised his eyebrows and answered the call. "Hey, Seth. What's up?"

"Hi, Jake." I could hear Seth's voice on the line. "Don't get upset, ok. But I just thought I should warn you. Nessie's vampire friend _Leo_ dropped by to see her."

"Really?" Jacob kept his voice free of expression. "What happened?"

Seth sounded slightly guilty. "He wanted to know where she was and when she was coming back. I just told him the truth and said that you would have a better idea of her plans, so I sent him over to you. I hope you don't mind. He'll probably turn up pretty soon."

Jacob threw me a glance under his dark brows and answered sardonically. "He's already here."

I had to bite back a smile. He was clearly irritated and wasn't going to miss the opportunity to make his friend squirm.

It was working. Seth sounded really uncomfortable. "Oh… right, ok."

Jacob's tone became biting. "And if you'd have let me know _sooner_, it would have saved me the trouble of having to talk Jamie Hunter out of phasing by the side of the road, in broad daylight."

"Jamie Hunter...? What was he…?"

"The twins are always hanging around and distracting Steve when they should be in school. They were here when he arrived. Geez Seth, you should have called straight away. It's lucky I didn't have all three of them phasing."

"I'm really sorry, man," he said apologetically. "I would have called sooner, but I was trying to calm Leah down. It's just lucky I was home for lunch today, otherwise I don't know what would have happened."

"She didn't phase did she?" Jacob suddenly looked very concerned.

"No, nothing like that; she was just _really_ pissed off."

For the first time Jacob smiled, it only lasted a second, but in that moment his face underwent an amazing transformation. I could suddenly see how he'd landed a girl like Nessie. He caught my eye and the scowl returned.

"I've got to go. If Sam calls, tell him not to stress, ok?"

"Sure, ok."

They said goodbye and Jake hung up the phone. He gave me an appraising look. "So you're looking for Nessie."

I shrugged and answered in a bland voice. "She said I should drop by, if I was ever in the area."

He narrowed his eyes. "And you just _happened _to be in Forks?"

It was obvious that he was deeply suspicious of my motives. I deliberated for a moment before answering. I hadn't come to start a fight with Nessie's boyfriend, and although he looked pretty hostile right now, my instincts told me that this guy would probably be reasonable if I didn't try to feed him a line. So I stuck to the truth.

Keeping my tone completely even, I met his dark eyes. "I needed to see her."

"You've got some nerve coming here," he snarled, taking a step forward, his massive hands already clenching into fists. "What do you want from her?"

This whole situation seemed to be getting out of hand, and I was starting to feel impatient. I wasn't about to fight to the death over a girl who I didn't want; especially when the girl I _did_ want was so tantalizingly close.

"For crying out loud," I snapped rudely. "Do you really think I would have come to find _you_, if I wanted _that?_"

This stopped him in his tracks and he glowered. "So what the hell _do_ you want? This isn't just a social call, is it?"

My instincts were still advocating that I tell the truth. Looking into Jacob's honest face, I decided to chance it.

"No, it isn't." I slowly shook my head and tried to explain. I figured since he already knew some gifted vampires, he might understand. "I don't want anything from her. Look, I know it sounds strange, but I have intuitions about things, about people."

"And?" His expression was completely inscrutable.

"It's hard to explain, but just need to see her. I'm worried about her…"

"You're _worried_ about her… why?"

He didn't want to give anything away, but I noticed his jaw clench and I suddenly realised that he was worried too. In some ways this was a relief, it meant that he would be more likely to believe me, but it also meant that Red probably was in trouble.

If he was already feeling anxious, I knew that I would have to proceed cautiously. In my experience, stressed boyfriends generally had short fuses. So I stuck to the bare facts and avoided the whole, 'your girlfriend sent me a psychic message' thing. Most guys don't like their girlfriends having ESP with other men.

"I'll be honest, she was kind of on my mind already," I explained calmly, without mentioning that it was in the _literal_ sense. "But when I heard about her uncle Jasper's screw up, I suddenly felt really worried about her."

Jacob had been listening to me with only a slight expression of scepticism, but as soon as I mentioned Jasper, his eyebrows snapped together and I had the ominous feeling that I had just made a _huge_ mistake.

"Jasper's _screw up?_" He repeated in a controlled voice. His frown was so deep that his eyes were lost in shadows.

I gave an inward groan. It hadn't occurred to me for a second that Nessie might not have told Jacob about what her uncle had done. I mean it was hardly a secret, Carlisle had told Hal all about it, besides which, Red just didn't seem like the kind of girl who would lie, especially not to her boyfriend. I'd heard the way she talked, she was crazy about him. It didn't make any sense.

And now I'd just turned up like some blab-mouthed chick and totally dumped her in it. My instincts – who'd advised me to tell the truth – were idiots. Maybe the shock of discovering Katherine's scent had thrown them into a state of confusion.

There was no going back now. Anything I said to play down my blunder would be counterproductive, so I just gave it to him straight.

"Jasper killed a girl. The Cullens had to move."

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Thanks to last weeks reviewers (including Joanna, who I couldn't PM) for your lovely comments, I really appreciated them. **

**Have a really nice week, thank you for reading, **

**Mad :)**


	37. Leo, the counsellor

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you to willowbae for being such a lovely beta :)<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 37.<strong>

**Leo – the counsellor**

Jacob didn't say anything. He hardly seemed aware of me as a mixture of emotions played across his face, disbelief, anger and most of all betrayal.

This was bad. For one wildly optimistic moment I'd hoped that he wouldn't be bothered by Red's little cover-up, but one look at Jacob's face told me that he was devastated by the news. I started to feel slightly guilty; I'd come to help Nessie, not destroy her relationship.

This would have been the time to say something helpful and reassuring. Unfortunately, before anything could spring to mind, Jake had turned on his heel and stalked into the garage. I lingered for a moment, unsure of whether or not to follow him, when my thoughts were interrupted by Jacob's angry voice coming from inside.

"_Son of a bitch…!"_ He roared, followed by a stream of violent curses and an ear-splitting crash.

Ok, it was clear that he was taking this all pretty badly. I was sorely tempted to just beat it, but my conscience decided to make an untimely appearance and stopped me from leaving. After all, it would be a pretty crappy thing to do to Red, give her away and make no attempt to set things right. Besides which, Katherine was her friend, and it wouldn't make a very good impression if the first thing she heard about me in fifty five years, was that I'd trashed Nessie and Jacob's relationship.

So I reluctantly walked to the garage doorway and peered inside.

Jacob was standing with his back to me. His head was bowed and his fists rested on one of the large workbenches that stood against the wall. The floor was strewn with tools and junk from the remains of another bench, which he'd ripped from its fixtures and thrown across the room. His breathing was fast and I could see tremors travelling up his massive arms. Geez; were all the wolves this temperamental?

I wasn't entirely sure of what to do, so I just asked. "Are you ok?"

"Stay back, _leech_," he snarled, keeping his back to me. "You really don't want to get too close to me right now."

This probably wasn't the moment to take offense, so I just stayed still and I waited as he balled up his fists in an effort to control the tremors in his arms. Unlike the twin, Jake managed to fight back the vibrations very quickly. After a minute, he turned his head and glared at me.

"Just tell me one thing…" His voice was low and he was visibly controlling himself. "Have you been speaking to Nessie? Did _she_ tell you this?"

Jacob was right on the verge of losing it. He was probably worried that Nessie had been sneaking around and calling me behind his back, telling me her secrets. It was obvious that if I wasn't careful I would get to witness some serious shapeshifting, so I shook my head slowly.

"No, we haven't spoken since she left New Hampshire. My brother told me, he heard it from Carlisle Cullen."

This seemed to be the right answer. A fleeting look of relief crossed his face. He took a number of deep breaths and the shaking ceased altogether. Jacob turned away from me again, fixing his eyes on the counter.

"When did this stuff with Jasper happen… and exactly what did he do?"

"I don't know the details, I only heard that he lost control and killed a girl. I'm not sure exactly when, but no more than two weeks ago."

His teeth clenched and I proceeded a little further into the garage. He spoke, almost to himself. "I knew it… I _knew _she was hiding something!" And then he started cursing again. I had to admire his wide vocabulary; he would have fitted into the navy just fine.

As I watched him, he seemed to gain further control, so I made my way across the floor – avoiding the scattered tools and broken bits of bench – and halted nearby. There was still one thing that made no sense. My curiosity got the better of me and couldn't resist asking.

"I don't get why she didn't tell you." After all, it was hardly news that her uncle was a vampire.

He answered bleakly, without bothering to look up. "The treaty."

"The treaty?" Hal's lengthy histories returned to me. "I thought that was about territory."

Jacob shook his head and turned to me with a humourless smile. "The Cullens aren't supposed to biteany humans either. If they do, it's a violation of our agreement."

As the implications of his words sunk in, I realised just how badly I'd screwed up. It _really_ wasn't my day. Not only had I delivered a major blow to Nessie's relationship, but also I'd unintentionally ratted out the treaty-breaking Cullens. Hal was going to be seriously unimpressed when he heard about this.

For once in my life, I had absolutely nothing to say.

Glancing away, I tried to hide my discomfort and thought about what Jake had said. At least it explained Nessie's behaviour. She must have been ordered to keep quiet.

As I considered this idea, Jacob seemed to be lost in a world of his own; he was probably trying to get his head around the bombshell that I'd just dropped on him. He seemed to be past the point of caring that I was there to witness his misery. He leaned back against the bench and brushed his hand over his eyes.

"How could she do this?" His voice was thick with emotion. "How could she lie to me?"

Jake showed all the symptoms of a man who was being driven insane by the girl he loved. And I instantly found myself warming to the guy. The most surprising thing was that it actually made me want to help him. I owed his girlfriend and needed to find Kathy, but on this occasion my motivation was an unexpected burst of compassion.

Nessie was giving him hell and he clearly didn't have a clue of how to handle it.

Luckily for him, _I_ was around. Ok, I'll admit that I was the one who'd pushed him into his current state of despair, but I was also the person best suited to pull him out of it. I'd had _decades_ of experience in this field, and not just because of my disastrous relationship with Kathy.

Apart from a number of other poor bastards who I'd unofficially counselled, I'd had to talk Brandon out of his misery plenty of times. It was a strange thing about alpha males; however much they had the upper hand with other men, they always seemed to end up with women who could run circles around them.

Dominica was a perfect example of this. At least I knew that nothing Red could deliver had any chance of being half as mean as the kind of stunts that _she_ could pull. That little angel was in a league of her own. She'd been torturing her unfortunate mate since before Jacob was born. And he always came back for more.

Taking a long look at Jacob, I realised that he was too upset to appraise his situation rationally. The fact he couldn't understand why his girlfriend would deceive him was proof of this. Hadn't he met the Cullens? I suddenly felt really sorry for Nessie. He was thinking the worst of her, but I just wondered what kind of pressure she'd been under to tell those lies. I had to say something.

Catching his eye, I kept my voice steady. "With a family like hers, how could she _not_ lie to you?"

"What do you mean?" He scowled back defensively.

I couldn't believe that Jake was being so blind. The only explanation was that he must still be in shock. Well, it was time for him to open his eyes and see _exactly_ what had been going on.

"You think this was _her_ idea?" I raised my eyebrows questioningly. "I mean, what's more likely? That your girl would just randomly start lying to you – in spite of the fact that it completely goes against her character – or that her _obviously_ controlling father told her to?"

"You think this was Edward's idea?"

"Are you saying you don't?" I retorted.

Was I the only person who could see that Mr Mind Reader might be inclined to manipulate those around him? With a gift like that, how could he not? Hell, if it was me, I'd be doing it all the time.

Jacob's brow was still furrowed by a deep frown as he turned away. He stared down at the floor for a long moment, considering my words. When the truth finally hit home, his head snapped up. His fists clenched and he turned to me with an expression of incredulous shock.

"How did I _not_ see this?" He choked in disbelief. "I knew she was struggling, damn it… why the hell didn't I work it out? I must have been _blind!_"

True.

But this was not the moment to point it out; he was only just starting to calm down. I attempted to console him instead.

"Don't beat yourself up; sometimes it's not that easy." Let's face it; the boyfriend is _always_ the last to know. "It sounds like Red was pretty determined to keep you in the dark."

And she probably would have succeeded if I hadn't come to town.

He started pacing the floor in agitation, hardly bothering to answer me. "How could Edward do this? She's been so unhappy." His expression became fierce. "Doesn't he care about her?"

I shrugged. It wasn't that hard to understand. "Sure he cares, but Edward couldn't afford to get sentimental about his daughter's love life. He was putting the needs of the whole family first. He was protecting the coven."

Jake shook his head, answering quietly. "No, he was protecting _Bella_…" He then added with a very bitter expression. "At Nessie's expense."

"What do you mean?" This was going beyond me.

He stopped in his tracks. "Edward knows that if I made a thing about the broken treaty, then Bella would be the most affected. Nessie would be exempt, but Bella might be told to stay away from the peninsula, along with the rest of the Cullens. The others would get over it, but Bella would take it hard, especially since her dad lives here."

"_Wow!_ Would you really do that?"

I was impressed. It would take a lot of guts to deliver a blow like that to your prospective mother-in-law. Still, from what I'd heard about mother-in-laws, it didn't sound like a bad idea. At least she wouldn't be hanging around all the time, getting in the way.

"No, of course I wouldn't," he snapped in exasperation. "Not unless they'd attacked someone when they were visiting the area."

"So what made Edward think that you would?"

"How the hell should I know?"

Jacob picked up a wrench and idly started tapped it against the workbench. He stopped abruptly, with the wrench suspended in mid-air, as a thought suddenly hit him.

"What is it?"

"Damn." He shook his head in disbelief. "How could Nessie think that I'd do that to her, doesn't she know me at all…?"

Before I'd had a chance to offer any opinion on what the hell Red knew, I was sidetracked by the sight of Jacob throwing the wrench across the room in frustration. So much for calming down. If he didn't start to control himself, there'd be nothing left of this place!

But this little piece of inner moralising was brought to an abrupt end, when I remembered the tree that I'd left sprawled across the Cullens' footpath. Maybe we could both use some lessons in anger management.

Jacob's angry voice broke through my thoughts. "You know, even though we're friends, I might have expected this from Edward. But I can't believe that _Bella_ would encourage Nessie to lie to me too."

He seemed to be ignoring a fairly obvious fact, so I decided to draw it to his attention.

"What did you expect? Bella's a vampire, not a wolf; her loyalty lies with her coven. Jasper made one _tiny _mistake and they didn't want any trouble with you, because you guys are friends and you're dating their daughter, so they decided to act like nothing happened and carry on as usual. Bella would have thought it was better to keep quiet. I mean, they may like you, but you're not exactly one of them, are you?"

"No, I'm not," he answered with an edge to his voice. "And I don't want to be."

"But you still want their daughter, don't you?" I helpfully pointed out.

"Yes." He bit his lip and glanced away. "More than anything."

Jacob was looking pretty upset, so I said bracingly. "Well, look on the bright side…"

"There's a _bright_ side to this?"

"Sure there is." He finally turned his eyes back to me and I gave him a meaningful smile. "Red's not really one of them either. And you _know_ it."

For a start, she had a pulse.

Jake met my gaze with a look of comprehension. "No, she isn't. But what good is that, when they can still put these barriers between us?"

"Do you think she was happy to deceive you?"

"No." He shook his head bitterly. "She's been miserable."

"Then you've got nothing to worry about. If they push her too far – which they're bound to one day – she'll choose you."

He gave a frustrated sigh. "It's not that simple. Why do you think I still put up with their interference? I have a business, a house, and I've been a pack Alpha for seventeen years. I want to marry Nessie and spend the rest of my life with her, but they still treat me like a freaking teenager. It gets on my nerves, but I take it, because I love her and because I know how much she needs her family. I'd _never _force her to choose between us, it would hurt her too much."

I could appreciate that he wanted to be noble and put her feelings first, but Jacob needed to get real and understand that he had a serious power struggle on his hands. He had to ask himself if he really wanted to spend the rest of his life under the Cullens' thumb.

And what about Nessie? Ok, she loved her family, but she probably wanted some freedom too. Would it really make her happy if Jacob didn't make a stand, or would she just feel disappointed in him? He needed to win this battle, and he could do it too, but only if he didn't lose heart. This was not the moment for me to hold back and I answered sternly.

"Face facts, it's unavoidable now. You need to do this. Red is unhappy. Trust me; she'll lose respect for you if you do nothing. They're already making her choose, and right now she's taking _their _side."

I saw a fleeting look of pain cross his face and he turned on me angrily. "Why do _you_ care, anyway? Aren't the Cullens supposed to be your friends?"

Jake had a good point; technically they were my friends and he wasn't. But my instincts were guiding me and for some strange reason they wanted me to take his side. It was important. I deliberated for a moment, trying to decipher their message. The news that Nessie had been lying to Jacob was helping to make sense of my anxieties.

As a human, I'd been brought up with three sisters. I hadn't thought of them in a while, but now I was hit with some vivid flashbacks of how they used to behave. I was reminded of just how emotionally unstable young girls could be, especially when their love lives were in turmoil. They always seemed to be most prone to making terrible decisions when their romances were hitting the rocks.

I felt as if small parts of the puzzle were slotting together and I tried to combine the facts with my instincts. I knew for sure that Kathy was within reach, and I also knew that Nessie had been suffering. But there was something else, a nagging worry that was still with me, even after these truths had been exposed. Jacob watched me silently, his dark eyes never leaving my face, waiting for me to say something. After a long pause, I attempted to put my feelings into words.

"The Cullens are ok, I like them. But Red is special. She's the only one I would really put myself out for. I came here for her." I watched Jacob's reaction, his expression was hard to read, but he didn't look angry. He was just listening with an air of concentration. I tried to sum up my instincts. "She's heading for trouble. I can feel it."

"What do you mean?" I was glad to see that Jacob was taking me seriously. There was no mistaking the anxiety in his voice.

"I mean she shouldn't be so far away, unprotected. Anything could happen."

"She isn't completely unprotected. She's with her friend, Katherine. She's a strong vampire."

Just as with Seth, the way that Jacob mentioned Kathy made me feel sure that he also had no idea of my connection with her. His casual reference to her gave me a sudden tightness in my chest. I tried to stay relaxed as I replied.

"Seth told me about Red's friend…"

"I trust her." He started to justify himself. "I couldn't have let Nessie go with her if I didn't."

Of course he trusted her. Even if she _was _a vampire, Kathy was the most trustworthy person in the whole history of the universe. But Jake didn't seem pleased about the fact that Nessie had gone away. I wanted to get to the bottom of what was bothering him.

"Did you think this trip to Alaska was a good idea?"

He frowned. "Not really."

"So why didn't you stop her going?" I felt exasperated. If Jacob had been against the idea, why on earth hadn't he blocked it?

"Because she was so desperate to go," he said, turning away with a frustrated huff. "I can't force her to obey me and I wouldn't want to. I spend my whole life bossing other people. I don't want things to be that way with Nessie. She's my girlfriend, not my prisoner. I don't ever want to be the one to trap her."

I nodded slowly. I could understand his reservations. Red had enough of that controlling treatment from her family. But that was a side issue right now. I didn't know what else to say, so I just stuck to the most pressing matter.

"There's something wrong, I can feel it," I said firmly. "Can't _you?_"

I was pushing him to examine his own feelings. I wanted his cooperation. I already knew that I was going to track the girls to Alaska, because if Nessie was heading for trouble, then so was Kathy. Just the thought that she might somehow be in danger was making me grow cold inside. Jake would actually have to kill me to stop me following them.

But I didn't want to waste any time or energy fighting him. Especially as we both had the same basic objective. Half an hour earlier I would have laughed at the idea of inviting Red's wolf on a trail with me, but it now seemed inevitable. I couldn't imagine that he would trust me to go alone and he clearly had some issues with his girlfriend that needed resolving. This could be his chance.

As I was working out my new strategy, Jacob stayed completely silent, considering my words. His whole frame was tense. He finally turned to me.

"Yeah," he said slowly. "There is something wrong, I can feel it too. I knew it before she left…" His anguish broke through. "_God_, why didn't I stop her? What have I done?"

I had sympathy for Jacob's sudden state of distress, but we didn't need to get sidetracked. There was no time to lose, so I said briskly.

"There's no point worrying about that now. The important thing is to get her back… and her friend too."

"What do you mean?" He seemed surprised.

It was time to bite the bullet and make my suggestion. I knew that it would be slightly unexpected, but I thought that at the very least it would convince Jacob that I wasn't trying to get busy with his girlfriend behind his back.

"I'm not going to lie to you, I'm going to Alaska to find them and I think you should come with me."

"Are you crazy?" He looked stunned. "Why would you do that?"

I ignored this question and raised my eyebrows. "Well… are you coming, or not?"

"I don't even know you."

"So what? I'm not asking you to _marry _me."

This remark seemed to relieve the tension in the room, because all of a sudden he grinned. "I guess that's something I should be grateful for." The smile only lasted a second, before his expression became more serious. "Do you really think we need to?"

"Yeah, I do. It's better to be safe than sorry, right? I mean, if I'm wrong and everything's fine, then we just get a few days camping in Alaska. That's not so bad is it?"

"I guess not." He nodded reluctantly. "I guess I must be crazy too, because there's something telling me that you're right."

"You're not crazy. I'm always right." I smiled.

I was glad that his animal instincts had finally decided to make an appearance – it had taken them long enough!

"Ok, I'll come with you."

"Great. Let's go." I turned to leave.

"Wait a second." He sounded surprised. "Exactly _where_ are we going?"

"Where do you think?" I asked impatiently. This guy was almost as bad as Hal. It would be a miracle if we were out of here by nightfall. "We need to catch a flight from Seattle to Anchorage."

He was still watching me with a slightly baffled expression, until he caught my eye. "Sure, fine. But I need at least an hour. I have to ask my sister if she'll keep an eye on my dad, and there are a couple of other things I need to do before leaving."

It seemed that wolves had as many mundane ties as regular humans. I tried my best to be tolerant of this delay and agreed to his plans. I was eager to get moving, but there was no point in having an argument before we'd even set out.

A thought suddenly struck me. I lifted my backpack off my shoulder and started rifling through its contents. I found what I was looking for.

"Do you know where I could stash these?" I pulled out a canvas bag and handed it to Jake. "I can't take them on the plane."

He took the bag from me and glanced inside. "_Damn!_" His eyes flew wide and he gave a short laugh. "Yeah, I can see why. What do you do need these for?"

"They can be useful if I'm tracking a coven and I'm outnumbered," I explained, as he returned the bag with a grin. "An ambush is a good move, but I need plenty of fire. Sometimes just creating a panic can give me the advantage. But I didn't bring much this time, I wanted to travel light."

I'd only brought a couple of bits and pieces on this trip, just a few grenades and some plastic explosives, nothing major. Jake found a couple of large waterproof bags and handed them to me.

"Here, wrap them in these and bury them in the woods. They should be safe enough. I'll order the guys not to dig them up and I'll ask Sam to do the same for his pack." He then added cryptically. "The last thing that anyone needs is for the Hunter twins to find a bag of explosives."

I thanked him and followed his advice, burying them in the forest, near the garage. I figured that if I couldn't be bothered to come back to Forks and retrieve them, then Jake could keep them. They might be useful to him at some point. He might not know how to wire the explosives, but anyone could pull the pin out of a grenade.

I already quite liked Jacob and it seemed like the least I could do.

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Thank you for last week's reviews. I really enjoyed reading them. And also for the list additions :)**

**Have a great week, thanks for reading,**

**Mad :)**


	38. Nessie, stars

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

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><p><strong>Thank you to my lovely beta willowbae, for all her story help and entertaining links :)<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 38.<strong>

**Nessie – stars**

The flight to Anchorage took about three and a half hours. Katherine and I watched a movie and chatted about my family in Denali. The plane wasn't especially full and we didn't have anyone sitting close to us. This made it easy for me to send her memories of my cousins without making our fellow passengers suspicious.

I told her a little of our family history. She had already heard some of it, but she hadn't been aware that the wolves had an uneasy relationship with my Denali family. This was because the pack killed a vampire who had been romantically involved with my late cousin, Irina.

Officially, there was no remaining feud, but I didn't think that any of the wolves would be made welcome in their home. There was no love lost on either side, and I doubted that Jake would ever visit the Denali wilderness. It was just one of the many small complications in our relationship. But I couldn't be bothered to get upset about it; I had bigger problems to deal with.

Our flight landed in the afternoon and we were lucky enough to catch a bus from Anchorage to Denali within an hour. The bus ride lasted several hours and took us right into the National Park, north of Mount McKinley. The sun had already set by the time we alighted at the Wonder Lake campground.

As we climbed off the bus and collected our backpacks from the driver, I was struck by how cold it was. I had already checked the forecast and was pleased to know that no snowfall was predicted. Apparently, it had been a fairly mild winter, but the ground was covered in firm snow and the air was very chilly. The sky was overcast, but the cloud was set to clear overnight.

The temperature was no problem for Katherine, and it hardly constituted a major issue for me either. But as a precaution I had dressed in proper hiking gear, rather than my normal outdoor clothes. The cold might not kill me, but I still preferred to be warm and comfortable. Katherine was wearing hiking clothes and boots too, because she said that they were weather-proof and she hated spending hours in wet jeans and shoes.

The campground was completely deserted. The winter weather seemed to have deterred all the other travellers. We decided to remain there for the night. It was dark and I was tired, so there seemed to be little point in moving off until the morning. We pitched our tents and then took a good look at the map to plan our journey north. It was still very early when we settled down for the night. I did manage to get some rest, in spite of my bad dreams. Katherine spent the night in her tent to relax and 'sleep'.

The sun wasn't due to rise until after eight, and since we had a fair amount of ground to cover, we were up and ready to leave well before then. The forecast had been right, the thick clouds from the previous evening had dispersed and the morning sky was clear. We struck a path northwest, passing the quiet shores of Wonder Lake at sunrise. The lake was bordered by pine trees, which stood out in black silhouette against the stark white face of Mount McKinley. The mountain dominated the landscape and we watched it turn pink and orange as the sun appeared over the horizon.

The dawn bathed the whole landscape in glorious rosy light. It was lucky that the lake was completely deserted, because the colours of the sunrise caught the glittering facets of Katherine's skin, setting them ablaze with fiery colours. The red and orange reflections, combined with her tawny eyes and the golden lights in her hair, made her look like a sun goddess, about to explode into flames. The effect was spectacular, but slightly overpowering. She just laughed and said that she looked like a sparkly rooster.

We left the lake behind and fell into an easy jog, heading west to navigate our way around the Kantishna Hills. The ground was snow covered and rock hard, making fairly easy running. The day was bitingly cold. All the moisture had been frozen out of the air and so the visibility was amazing.

We didn't really speak as the miles fell behind us. Katherine seemed to be content to run quietly beside me, enjoying the fresh air and the sunlight. We weren't planning on hunting that day; we just wanted to cover as much ground as possible. We still had several days in which to hunt, and I had brought some human provisions to supplement my diet. We passed a large number of small lakes and jumped several rivers, and started moving north, roughly following the route of the McKinley River.

All the time I was acutely aware that I was putting more and more distance between Jacob and myself. I had chosen to take this time away, it was supposed to give me the chance to relax and get my head together, but somehow, it seemed to be having the opposite effect. In the midst of all this natural beauty, the thing that I was most aware of was the tugging on my heart, telling me to turn back.

I tried to ignore it, despite the fact that it was causing me physical pain. It was that same pain that had been present when I was lying to Jake. I reminded myself that I hadn't had enough time. I'd only been away for a day; of course it was going to take me a little while to start feeling better. The imprint didn't agree with my logic. The imprint was angry with me, and I had no idea of how to appease it.

Shortly before sunset we made camp by a small, sheltered lake. As soon as darkness fell, the clear sky above us was lit by millions of bright stars. The water was very still and a thin covering of ice had formed around its edges.

It was too early to sleep, so we strolled down to the shore. A large boulder overhung the lake and it looked like a good vantage point for watching the stars. Climbing onto the rock, we sat down with our legs dangling over the frozen water. Katherine lifted her face to the sky, wearing a thoughtful expression.

"It's strange seeing different stars in the sky."

I glanced at her curiously. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you know how some constellations can only be seen from certain places in the world, like the Southern Cross." I nodded and she continued. "And it's strange for me to be so far north. I've been used to such different night skies. But it's nice."

"Do you know very much astronomy?"

"A little." She smiled. "I can't pretend to be very interested in the mathematical side of it, but I love stargazing. I always did, even when I was a human. But I must admit that my vampire memory has proved to be very helpful. I have a perfect map of the night sky in my head and can name all the constellations with no trouble."

"That's impressive."

"It's been pretty useful at times, it's easier to know if I'm headed in the wrong direction when I'm travelling at night," she chuckled. "I hate to admit it, but that's happened more than once."

I didn't know much about the stars, so I asked Katherine if she would give me a few pointers. She spent the next half hour showing me the most recognisable constellations and planets. It turned out that she was very knowledgeable and I learned a great deal.

We eventually fell into quiet contemplation. As I scanned the thousands of lights above me, I wondered if there were clouds over La Push or if the sky was clear and Jacob could see the stars too. For some reason this made me realise just how far away he was; much, much too far.

I had been wrestling the painful ache in my heart all day, but at that moment I couldn't fight it anymore and I was overcome by a crushing wave of homesickness. I stared across the dark lake and tried to hold back my misery, but it was no good. Covering my eyes with my hand, I let out a low sob. Katherine had been peacefully watching the stars, but when she heard me she glanced around in surprise.

"Nessie, are you ok? What's wrong?"

This would have been the moment to stop crying and pretend that I was fine, but my unhappiness was overwhelming. I pulled a shuddering breath as the tears spilled down my cheeks.

"I want to go _home_…" My voice broke on the last word.

Poor Katherine was clearly confused by my unexpected outburst, but she made a valiant effort to hide her surprise and asked cautiously.

"You want to go back to Forks?"

I kept my eyes fixed on my tightly clasped hands and answered in a trembling voice. "Yes… I want Jake." The imprint agreed with me.

Katherine was quiet for a moment. I was worried that she might be a little irritated; after all, we had spent two long days travelling to get to here, and I was instantly demanding to return home. But when she spoke she didn't sound angry. She just put her arm around my shoulders and said kindly.

"It might not be the best idea to leave now, you probably need some sleep. But don't worry, first thing in the morning, we'll head back and you can catch the evening bus back to Anchorage. You could take the first flight back to Washington. I'm sure that Jake would meet you at Sea-Tac, if you called him."

I wanted him so much that her suggestion should have made me feel happy, but I could only shake my head despairingly. "I can't… I can't."

"Hey, it's ok. You don't have to do anything," she said, giving me a reassuring squeeze. "Don't worry."

I leaned my head on Katherine's shoulder as the tears continued to flow. I probably should have felt embarrassed for bursting into tears, but I was so worn out from trying to hold myself together, that I didn't even care. She let me cry in peace for a few minutes, until she finally said.

"Nessie, do you want to talk about this?"

I lifted my head and looked at her helplessly. "I don't know..."

Her dark brows drew together as she considered my words. "I know that it's not always easy to talk about things, Nessie. But maybe you should try anyway. There's obviously something wrong and maybe I can help. And even if I can't, it might still do you good to get it off your chest. You know that anything you told me would be in the strictest confidence, don't you?"

She hardly needed to say this. I couldn't imagine Katherine blabbing to anyone; it just didn't seem her style.

So I nodded tearfully. "I know you wouldn't say anything." I pulled my knees up to my chest and hugged them. "It's just really hard. Everything's such a mess… I don't know what to do anymore."

Katherine narrowed her eyes gave me a shrewd look, before asking. "Is everything ok between you and Jake?"

"No…" My bottom lip trembled as I shook my head. "_Nothing's_ ok."

"So, what's wrong?"

"I don't know where to start…"

"Well, maybe you should just start from the beginning."

Her calm logic broke through my defences. After a long silence, I exhaled. "Ok."

Then, with a large number of sniffs and lengthy pauses, I confessed the whole sorry tale. I told her all about Uncle Jasper's slip, the stupid treaty, what my family had requested of me, and the disgraceful way that I'd treated Jacob. I was too ashamed to look at her while I was speaking.

Katherine let me talk without interruption, listening to my ramblings until I ran out of words. It was a painful confession, but I was surprised to find that I actually felt slightly better when I had finished. Just being able to confide in someone made the weight lift a little. When I finally fell silent, she shook her head sympathetically.

"Oh, Nessie, I'm so sorry… No wonder you've been finding things difficult. It must have been a huge shock."

"It shouldn't have been," I replied bitterly, rubbing my damp cheeks with my hand. "Uncle Jasper has always struggled with his thirst."

"I'm sure he never meant for this to happen."

"I know. He tries so hard…" I imagined how terrible he must be feeling and a fresh batch of tears filled my eyes. I glanced at Katherine and added. "I guess this is just part of having a vampire family, huh?"

"I suppose so." She sounded very grave. "It's not an easy life."

I considered her words and murmured. "Sometimes I don't understand it at all. I love my family so much, but they've done all these awful things. I can't stop loving them, but it still hurts me."

"I know. But they are all trying their best. And they love you Nessie. Whatever else they may have done, you shouldn't forget that. You don't need to feel bad that you love them back."

I thought of all the lies and suddenly felt angry. "I can't even understand why my mother married into this. She's not a killer."

A sickening idea crossed my mind and I winced. She wasn't a killer – _yet!_

Katherine answered me cautiously. "I guess she loves your dad."

That was true. She loved him enough to blind herself to the dark side of our family life. I found myself confessing something that I never had before.

"You can't imagine how it makes me feel, to love them all so much and know what they've done. Sometimes I feel as if I'm being pulled in two and I don't know what to do."

Katherine gave a small, pensive sigh. "I do understand… more than you know." My eyes flickered curiously to her face. She wasn't looking at me; her gaze was fixed on the dark water. "I've told you about my creator. You know how I felt when I first saw him."

"Yes, I remember what you said." Katherine had told me that she'd had some strong intuitions about him, and had found him very attractive.

"When I saw him again I couldn't believe it. I was so happy."

"Didn't he change you when you first met?" I asked in surprise. I had always assumed that he'd turned her on their first encounter.

"No, he didn't. The first time I saw him, he barely spoke more than a few words to me. But for weeks I couldn't stop thinking about him. It was ridiculous. I wanted him so badly, I swear, it was like a piece of me was missing. I kept hoping and hoping that I would see him again. One day my wish was granted… and look at what he did to me."

She turned away from the lake and met my gaze. Her golden eyes were burning. "I can't tell you how much I _hated_ him after I was turned." Her words were charged with so much feeling that they seemed to hang in the cool air around us.

"I was afraid of him too," she added quietly. "I had reason to be… he wasn't exactly nice to me. At first, I could hardly even bring myself to speak to him. It wasn't a happy situation. But that was only in the beginning. Things eased off once we had travelled together for a few months. I think the vegetarian diet helped.

"We grew accustomed to one another and eventually started to get on ok. Travelling and hunting together became a habit and we only had each other for company. I was a newborn, I didn't have anyone else. I gradually stopped hating him and he learned to put up with me. The fighting ended and in a strange way we became a team."

Katherine had never really discussed this side of their relationship before, and I could tell that she still didn't find it easy to talk about, but she managed to keep her tone even as she continued with her story.

"We travelled together for months. Things weren't going too badly, I adjusted to being a vampire and he seemed to get used to the new diet. We were doing alright, until he ran into an old friend…" she paused for a second, ostensibly to brush a loose wave of hair from her brow, but I saw a fleeting look of bitterness cross her face.

"She was the one who turned him back into a murderer," said Katherine in a cold voice. She shook her head with a humourless smile. "I shouldn't have been so surprised. You should have seen this girl, Nessie. She looked like a black haired angel. I've never seen anyone so beautiful.

"I hardly needed my instincts to know that they had been lovers, she didn't even try to hide it. Anyway, it was obvious that they were still very close. I could tell that she didn't like the change in him, so she asked him to go with her and hunt humans again… and he did." She ended simply, without looking at me.

"What? He _left_… just like that?" I was surprised that her creator had given up his new lifestyle with so little consideration.

"No, we had a huge argument first. And the girl told me a few home truths, about him and about myself…" Katherine bit her lip. "At the time, her words made painful listening, but I know now that she did me a favour. I'd been deluding myself, she opened my eyes."

"What did she tell you?" I asked. This girl sounded like an uber-bitch, I was curious to know what on earth she'd said.

"It's not important," answered Katherine, quietly. "The main thing was that he went with her, and I finally understood that he wouldn't ever change. He couldn't. It wasn't in his nature. He probably expected me to wait for him, but I knew then that it was impossible to stay.

"When he decided to hunt humans again, I felt as if I'd been stabbed in the heart. It was a complete betrayal of our friendship and any affection that I had felt for him. There was nothing for me there anymore, so I packed up and left before he came back."

"Do you know if he ever tried to find you?"

From my experience, vampires made fairly loyal connections. Even their bonds of friendship were not easily broken. I was surprised to discover that he'd cared so little about losing someone who had been his companion for months. But Katherine's next words dispelled my theory.

"I'm _sure_ he didn't. I know that if he'd wanted to, he could have found me. It suited him when I left. He knew plenty of other vampires, but he usually travelled alone. I know he preferred it that way, he was probably relieved to be rid of me."

"How about you, were you sorry to leave?"

"Yes…" There was no disguising the pain in her voice. "I've never felt so bad. I mean, I've had some pretty horrible experiences since leaving him, but nothing else ever hurt me that way. I felt as if two sides of me were at war; I was fond of him, but I hated what he was going to do. That was why I had to get away. I couldn't have lived with myself if I'd turned a blind eye to murder.

"As it was, I couldn't believe that I had let myself become so attached to a killer. And what was my excuse? I'd always known what he was. I'd been one of his victims, damn it! When I look back, I would love to claim that he made a fool of me, but the truth is that I made a complete fool of myself. I should have known better…

"Not that I didn't pay for my stupidity," she added cryptically. "I was torn up about it for years afterwards. And it was tough at first, because when we were together I'd been living with no thought of the future. I hadn't really considered surviving without him.

"When I broke away, it brought home to me that I really didn't know anyone else. My human life was over and I was completely alone. I had to start from scratch. I was just lucky that I had my old plan to fall back on; I don't know what I'd have done without it. But even so, I was very lonely for a long time."

As I listened to her story I gained a new respect for my friend. Not only had she resisted becoming a killer, but she had also been prepared to face life all by herself, rather than cling to a vampire who fed on human blood. No wonder she had decided to tell me this story now.

"So you _do_ know what it's like to feel so torn," I said quietly.

She glanced at the stars, wearing a pained expression. "Yes, I do."

"And you chose to leave…"

"Yes, I did."

What did this say about me? I couldn't imagine walking away from my family. Did this mean that I was condoning murder? Was I a coward? Katherine seemed to know what I was thinking, because she turned to me and added.

"I know what it feels like. And I understand the differences in our situations. Your family don't want to hurt anyone, Nessie. They are always struggling to do the right thing. My creator wasn't like that. When he killed, it wasn't an accident or a lapse of control. He wanted to do it, he _enjoyed_ it. Maybe if he'd been like your family we could have remained friends."

I considered her words and nodded. "I know what you're saying is true. They mean well, but…"

"But, what?"

"But I'm still so _angry!_" I burst out furiously. "I hate being a part of this."

"This isn't anything to do with you, Nessie. You haven't done anything wrong."

"That's not true. I wish it was, but it's not…" I could feel my self-loathing welling up. "I am part of this, because I'm part of the family. I know that someone was murdered and I've kept quiet about it and carried on as if everything is fine. That person had a life, and probably a family too, doesn't that matter?

"I'm disgusted with my family, but I'm still living off them and letting them pay for my college, my car, and a million other things. I'm still spending their money, because I'm too scared to live without it. It feels like blood money and yet I'm prepared to take it. What does that make me? If I had any guts I'd make a stand, the way _you_ did. I would say that I wanted to be clean and walk away from them… and their cash."

Katherine threw me a shrewd glance. "Don't be so hard on yourself. You haven't kept quiet because of the money; you've kept quiet because you love them. You don't _want_ to leave them. If you were to do something so extreme, it would make everyone – including you – very unhappy. It would be crazy."

"So what do you think I should do? Just ignore everything and carry on lying?"

"No," she said firmly. "I think that you should stop feeling angry with your family. And I think that you should tell Jacob the truth."

Her suggestion took me by surprise. For a second I was speechless, as the full implications of her words sank in.

"I can't," I cried, shaking my head vehemently. "It's too late… he'd be so upset if he found out now."

"It's never too late." She met my eyes and her expression became grave. "You're kidding yourself if you think that you can carry on lying to him indefinitely. It will poison everything between you. Look at what it's already doing to you. You're in physical pain."

"What do you mean?" I threw her a guilty glance. How did she know?

Her mouth twisted into a cynical smile. "I told you I can be intuitive. And when I'm around you I sometimes feel a strange tightness in my chest, like an echo of your pain_._"

When I heard this, I felt so mortified that I hardly knew what to say. So much for concealing my feelings! Katherine carried on regardless.

"It's not going to go away until you confess to Jake."

"But I promised my family…" I protested feebly.

"_Screw that!_ He deserves better."

Her blunt statement made me defensive. "I know he does. I don't _want_ to lie to him. I'm trying to protect him. I don't want to put this burden onto him."

"Frankly," she replied witheringly. "I don't think that Jacob needs that kind of protecting. What he needs is a girlfriend he can trust. I'm sure that he would much rather deal with the hassle of a broken treaty, or whatever, than have you lie to him. Anyway, you're not protecting him. You're just making him miserable."

The simple truth of her words hit home. In the last couple of weeks I had achieved nothing but making Jacob unhappy. I thought about this and my bottom lip started to tremble. On seeing my reaction, Katherine instantly became very remorseful.

"Oh, Nessie, I'm so sorry! Don't cry. I was just being an idiot… I shouldn't have said anything."

"No… no, I'm glad you did. You're right… about everything. I thought that coming here would make me feel better. I wanted to believe that I was doing the right thing, but I can see now that I was wrong. I can't go on this way."

I stared across the water for a long moment, taking deep breaths of freezing air as I made the decision. When I finally spoke, I was completely resolved.

"I'm going to tell Jake everything. It's not going to be easy, but I'd rather tell the truth, and face all the consequences, than carry on lying to him."

I flinched at the thought of Jacob's reaction. However he felt about the treaty, there was no getting around the fact that he would be very disappointed and hurt. He always liked to think the best of me. How would he feel when he discovered that I had been deliberately deceiving him?

"You're doing the right thing." Katherine nodded approvingly and asked. "Do you want to head home tomorrow?"

I smiled ruefully, before admitting. "I think I'm going to need a few days in Alaska to build up to this confession. I'll have to work out _exactly _what to say to make sure that Jake doesn't stop talking to me forever."

"He can't stop talking to you, can he? I thought the imprint wouldn't let him."

"No, to be honest, he can't, which almost makes it worse," I replied guiltily.

It didn't seem fair. Jake was forced to put up with whatever crap I decided to inflict on him. I was going to have to work pretty hard to make up for this.

But in spite of the unpleasant task ahead of me, when I climbed into my sleeping bag that night, I felt better than I had since first hearing about Uncle Jasper's slip. Just thinking about breaking down this painful barrier was such a relief.

That night I slept soundly for the first time in days.

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Thank you to all the people who wrote reviews last week, they were really nice and very interesting to read :) And an extra thanks to the people I couldn't PM, Olivia and Miniaudrey2356.**

**Thanks for reading, have a lovely week, Mad :)**


	39. Leo, travelling with Jake

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

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><p><strong>Thank you to willowbae for being the best beta ever! :)<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 39.<strong>

**Leo – travelling with Jake**

Once upon a time my life was simple.

And fun.

Everything had made sense.

And I _hadn't _found myself sitting in an airport departure lounge, at five o'clock in the morning, beside a snoring werewolf.

Of course, that was before Kathy had blasted into my consciousness and put me in touch with my 'feelings.'

Since then, fun had been pretty thin on the ground.

It was Thursday morning. Jake and I had been waiting at Sea-Tac all night and I was seriously bored. Even Valerie, the check-in girl, had gone home, so there was no one left to talk to. And it was still two hours until our flight.

I took out my picture of Kathy. I could hardly believe that I would be seeing her soon. For the first time in forever, looking at her photograph didn't make me feel sad, a little nervous maybe, but definitely not sad.

I really liked the fact that I could smell her at the airport, and I knew that I would pick up her fragrance again when we reached Anchorage. It baffled me that I had lived for fifty five years without being able to smell her scent. How the hell had I survived?

Another hour and a half dragged by so slowly that I began to wonder if time had actually started turning backwards. My impatience to see Kathy was getting worse by the second. It took every ounce of my self-control not to start pacing the floor. I just couldn't wait to be with her again. I had to see her. I needed to know that she was ok.

My daydreams were probably slightly more optimistic than they should have been. For instance, I didn't dwell on the fact that she might not give me the friendliest reception. I tried to pretend that vampires didn't have long memories.

Half an hour before our flight, I decided to wake Jacob. He was pretty sound asleep, so I gave him a helpful shove and he awoke with a jolt. He sat up quickly, looking slightly disorientated. It was still dark outside and so it was no surprise when he asked.

"What time is it?"

"Six thirty. I thought you might want a chance to wake up properly, before they called our flight."

"Thanks." He stretched and rubbed his eyes, before glancing around him. "I need to clean up, where's the restroom?"

"Over there." I pointed helpfully.

During the night I'd _plenty_ of time to get to know the layout of the departure lounge. Jake rifled through his backpack and found a toothbrush. He went off to the restroom, and I watched the departure lounge gradually fill with people who'd spent the night in more sensible places than we had.

Once we had boarded the plane I started to feel more cheerful. We were finally moving. The cheerfulness only lasted until I saw our seats. I gave an inward groan. I was six foot four and Jake was even taller than me, so the thought of being squashed together in this cramped pair of seats, for three and a half hours, was hardly inviting.

We sat down and tried unsuccessfully to give each other space. I huffed in frustration; this was ridiculous, there was no legroom. I glanced up the aisle, trying to figure out how to get a better seat. At that precise moment I caught the conversation coming from the food preparation area. The stewardesses were gossiping about Jake and me.

"Hey Nicki, did you get a load of those two big guys? _Wow!_ My boyfriend asked me to call in sick today. I'm glad I ignored him."

"I know. I thought I was going pass out when they boarded. I'm going to take another look. I wonder if they need anything..."

_Bingo!_

Ten minutes later we were sitting in our upgraded seats.

Jake turned to me with a confounded expression. "Do you always do that?"

"What can I say?" I gave a smug smile. "We're all good at _something_." He rolled his eyes, and I grinned. "I think the word you're looking for is 'thanks.'"

"Ok, ok… thank you." He laughed and added with a shake of his head. "But that poor girl has my sympathy."

"Are you kidding?" I boasted. "I made her day!"

Nicki and Gloria turned out to be pretty nice. During the flight they even managed to magic up two extra breakfasts for Jake, in spite of the fact that he'd already eaten mine as well as his own. I avoided the food by telling the girls that I was 'in training', without bothering to explain what I was training for.

They seemed perfectly satisfied with my vague excuse and didn't press me further. Jake was friendly and polite to the stewardesses, but I could tell that he was far more interested in the food than the girls who provided it. To be honest, he seemed almost entirely oblivious of them.

After Gloria's fourth failed attempt to catch his eye, my thoughts turned to his relationship with Nessie. I found myself thinking about the conversation that I'd had with her, and all the things that Carlisle had told my brother.

Jacob had a special wolf connection with Nessie called imprinting; Hal had explained it to me. Apparently this bond had been forged when she was just a baby, and it made her the focal point of his entire existence. I'd certainly had a chance to witness the intensity of his feelings for Red when he'd enacted that Greek tragedy in his garage.

But I was interested to know more – besides having several hours to kill – so I turned to Jake with curiosity.

"Can I ask you something?"

He threw me a sardonic smile. "If I said 'no', would it make any difference?"

That was good enough for me.

"I've heard some of the history of your tribe and the Cullens, and how you did that imprinting on Red..."

"_And?_" His eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Why did you imprint on a vampire hybrid? I thought you guys were supposed to hate leeches."

"I don't know exactly why," he replied matter-of-factly. "It was involuntary."

I pondered his answer for a second. "I guess now you just have to put up with it, right?"

I'd forgotten the whole 'wolf guys are super touchy' issue, but was reminded of it when Jacob threw me an angry glare.

"I don't _put up_ with Nessie," he snapped. "I _want _to be with her. I love her."

I was still curious, so I ignored his irritation and asked calmly. "So, does imprinting blind you to the whole 'vampire' thing?"

I couldn't imagine what would make a wolf love a vampire, if it wasn't for some supernatural hocus-pocus. Jake gave me an appraising look. He must have decided that I wasn't deliberately trying to piss him off, because his annoyance faded.

"No, it's just the opposite. Some people think that imprinting is like being put under a spell, but it's not like that. Really you're just seeing the truth about the other person. Imprinting allowed me to see Nessie clearly, without being blinded by my prejudices. It gave me a window straight to her soul and showed me how beautiful she is, inside and out."

He then added with obvious sincerity. "I don't want her to be any different; she's perfect. Nessie is the very best thing in my life."

I was interested that he made no effort to play down his complete devotion to Red. He didn't even pretend to care whether or not I approved. Jacob's total disregard for my good opinion did him no harm in my eyes. I was even a little envious of him. He didn't have to hide his feelings. He could openly acknowledge them. He could tell Nessie – hell, he could tell _everyone_ – that he loved her.

I was suddenly struck by the realisation that I'd _never_ been able to do that with Kathy. I had never told her how I felt about her. This was hardly surprising; she'd have been absolutely horrified.

But before I could get any further with this self-pitying train of thought, I remembered why my relationship with Katherine was so bad, and precisely whose fault it was. So instead of getting depressed, I consoled myself with the fact that things were by no means perfect for Jake either. I turned to him with a cryptic smile.

"I guess being with Red _almost_ makes up for the fact that you'll probably end up with Edward as a father-in-law."

For a second his expression was completely unreadable, and just as I was getting worried that he was about to go all touchy again, he gave a short laugh.

"I guess so."

As he didn't seem to be offended, I had to ask. "How do you cope with the guy?"

"I generally get on ok with him," he acknowledged. "In some ways his mind reading has helped. I mean, he understood the way that I felt about Nessie when I imprinted on her, and it would have been really tough if he hadn't. So that was good."

I remembered some of the things that Nessie had told me about her accelerated aging, and frowned. "Didn't Red reach full maturity by the age of seven? That was ten years ago. Haven't things got more complicated since then?"

Jacob shook his head and smiled cautiously. "Not until about eighteen months ago, when she started to see me differently."

"What do you mean?"

"Although she was physically and intellectually advanced at the age of seven, in other ways Nessie was still really emotionally immature. She'd only had seven years of life experience under her belt and a pretty sheltered upbringing. She did gradually grow up, but it took longer. She wasn't ready for an adult relationship until fairly recently."

I gazed at Jake in awe. He must be the most restrained guy on the planet. "So didn't it bother you, hanging around for years, waiting for her?"

"No, it didn't," he explained calmly. "It's an important aspect of imprinting that you are always responding to what the other person needs. So during that time a whole side of my nature was basically put on ice. I hardly noticed what I was missing, just being around her made me happy; it was enough.

"Maybe I was even a little relieved, I didn't want her to be forced into adulthood at the age of seven, she was still _so_ young. I would have felt like I was robbing her youth. I didn't start to see her in any other way until her feelings about me began to change. That didn't happen until she was sixteen."

I could relate to this more than I thought I would. My happiest memories were of the months when Kathy and I had travelled together, and we were _never _a couple – let's face it, for weeks she would hardly even speak to me – but I'd still enjoyed spending time with her. I nodded appreciatively.

"That must have been good."

I could only imagine how I would have felt if Kathy had fallen in love with me, and I was suddenly envious again.

"It was pretty stressful at first." Jake gave a rueful smile. "For both of us. But it's working out ok."

"So _now_ you just have to deal with Edward."

"Most of the time he doesn't bother me that much…"

Jake glanced at me warily, unsure of how much he should be revealing. He didn't need to worry; I wasn't about to go telling tales – well, not deliberately – so I prompted him.

"_But…?"_

"But, I worry about Nessie."

At this moment Gloria reappeared to offer us drinks. She tried for a fifth time to catch Jake's attention, and failed – again. When she finally went away, I returned to the conversation.

"What do you mean?"

"It's hard for Nessie; she's under a lot of pressure from her family. They're never obvious about it. They probably don't even realise what they're doing. They let her have a _controlled_ freedom." His mouth was drawn into a hard line as he added. "But they yank hard on that leash the second she strays."

There was obviously some background here. I narrowed my eyes. "What do you mean?"

"Like the way that Edward stopped me taking Nessie surfing at Mavericks. We would have been there this week if it wasn't for him." He frowned in frustration. "She was so excited about it and had made all these plans. I'd _promised _her that we could go, but then Edward stepped in, so I had to let her down and she was really disappointed. I felt terrible."

As I listened to his tale, I suddenly realised that I had screwed up this guy's life even more than I'd previously thought. Although I'd advised Nessie to seduce Jacob on a romantic vacation – which _was_ doing him a favour – it was through me that Edward had found out about her plan.

I had accidentally given her away by thinking about it in front of Mr Psychic. There was no way that Edward was going to let her go away with Jake after that. I didn't exactly feel like confessing my little slip-up to Jake, so I decided not to say anything and stuck to the problems at hand, which were his girlfriend and her father.

"You know, it sounds to me like _someone's_ just about due for a little teen rebellion," I said cheerfully. "I'd love to be a fly on the wall when Red gives Edward the brush off. That promises to be one hell of a showdown."

I smiled at this mental image and I noticed that even Jacob perked up. No wonder the idea of Nessie asserting her independence appealed to him. After all, he had been practicing superhuman levels of self-control for years, and Nessie's family had shown their gratitude by encouraging her to lie to him. Even if he quite liked the Cullens, Jake must have just about reached his limit with their interference.

"Do you think she will?" He asked, looking hopeful.

"Yeah, totally." I nodded. "But I wouldn't get too excited, if I were you. When she kicks back at her family, you'll probably be left picking up the pieces."

His face fell as he realised that this was true. "That'll be something to look forward to."

He had my sympathy, he'd accidentally imprinted on a high maintenance girl with a mind reading father. If the last couple of weeks were anything to go by, Jake was in for a rough ride; but that being said, I could still see a light at the end of the tunnel. There was certainly no need for him to get downhearted; at least she loved him back. I smiled encouragingly.

"Don't worry; in the long run it will still work out better when she does, especially for the two of you. Like I told you before, you're already in a battle, so you have to expect some trouble. But she's worth it, isn't she?"

He nodded and answered in a low voice. "Always."

"Just make sure that you're there when it kicks off with her family," I advised him. "Because she'll need your back-up."

As I let Jacob digest these words, my mind returned to Katherine. Even though Jake was unaware of my connection with her, I still had no idea how much his girlfriend knew. Whatever happened, they would all discover the truth as soon as Kathy saw me. But I didn't really want to cross that bridge until I came to it. It was easier to say nothing, for now.

But I was still desperate to find out how she was and what she'd been doing all these years. So after a few minutes, I started a new conversation and tried to sound as if I was only speaking out of idle curiosity.

"Red told me about her cousins in Denali," I said casually. "Seth said that they'd invited her friend to stay, and that was why they both decided to go to Alaska."

"That's right. They heard that Katherine was a vegetarian and asked her to visit them." He then threw me a mischievous grin. "I'm surprised that Nessie hasn't talked them into inviting _you_ to Denali yet."

"Why's that?" I asked suspiciously.

Jake gave a smirk. "So you can _fall in love_ with her cousin Tanya." He noticed my puzzled expression and explained. "Nessie is an enthusiastic matchmaker. The fact that you're both single vegetarians will be a good enough reason in her eyes. She'll see you fair game. For that matter…" he added cryptically. "So will Tanya."

I smiled. "Thanks. I'll consider myself warned."

"Luckily for you, the other girls have mates, so Nessie can't get too carried away," he added reassuringly, and turned his attention to the fruit salad that Gloria had just lavished upon him.

Jacob was too busy searching for a fork to notice the effect that his words had upon me. What was he saying? The _other_ girls had mates. Wait a second…! His innocent statement sent me reeling with shock.

Did Kathy have a_ MATE…?_

I couldn't believe that it had never occurred to me before. Maybe I hadn't wanted to face the possibility. I'd just accepted that because Kathy was alone in Forks, she must be unattached. But I suddenly realised that there was no reason to assume that she was single.

As his words sunk in, my thoughts remained in a state of chaos. I may have accepted that she wasn't mine, but apparently I had a little more trouble with the idea that Katherine might now belong to someone else. I actually found myself fighting back a snarl, as I pictured her with another man.

Screw the idea of wanting her to be happy, or the fact that I hadn't seen her in over fifty years and had absolutely no rights in the matter. I didn't give a damn that Kathy didn't belong to me and probably hated my guts. At that moment I just wanted to kill any son of a bitch who dared to claim her.

I was stunned by the sheer intensity of the jealousy and rage that coursed through me. I'd never been a sadist – I preferred to deliver death quickly – but I knew that I would happily make an exception of any guy who thought he could have Katherine. I would enjoy ending his existence slowly and painfully.

Averting my face, I pretended to inspect my armrest, while battling the temptation to rip the seat in front of me from its fittings and vent my anger by trashing the plane. Thankfully, Jacob was completely unaware of the little drama being played out in my head. He took a bite of his fruit salad and added, without looking up.

"Apart from Katherine, that is."

"Huh…?" My head shot round. What the hell was he saying _now?_

"Yeah, I forgot…"

His eyes were still on his food, and I held my breath. I wasn't sure if I could handle any more of Jacob's revelations.

"Nessie's friend, Katherine, is single too."

The relief that this simple statement produced in me was overwhelming. I could only be grateful that Jake wasn't watching me, because there was no hiding the extreme changes in my expression. I stayed silent, fighting to get a hold of myself.

The strength of my feelings was starting to worry me. I had been so excited by the possibility of seeing Kathy again, that I'd given very little thought to what would happen next. It was pretty clear that I didn't have any emotional detachment when it came to her. Just two minutes spent talking about her had thrown my feelings into hopeless disarray.

How was I going to cope if she told me to get lost? Would I fall apart completely? My God, would I burst into tears? Crying had never been my thing, and I knew that I couldn't produce real tears, but I was probably still capable of sobbing. It had never crossed my mind before, but I was starting to worry that when it came to Kathy anything was possible.

And what if she was generous enough to speak to me, and agreed to hang out for a couple of days in Denali. What was I going to do when she went away at the end of them?

It was typical of me to make snap decisions with no thought of the consequences. But I was starting to realise just how badly this reunion could go. Apart from Katherine's potentially negative reaction, there was the added complication of how Jake and Red would feel when they discovered the truth. I couldn't imagine that they would be pleased.

But even as I considered these problems, I realised that my resolve to see Kathy was unshakable. Whatever the future held, I wasn't going to turn back now. Even if I was turned to ash, I would still blow in her direction.

By the time Jake glanced up from his food, I'd managed to compose my features. He was still thinking about his girlfriend's possible matchmaking, because he turned to me, meeting my eye with a serious expression.

"Tanya would probably be the better option…" was his slightly unexpected comment.

"Why's that?" I tried to keep the challenge out of my voice. Why would _anyone_ want this Tanya girl, when Kathy was in the offing?

"She's had loads of guys, she doesn't care. But Katherine isn't like that. I think that she could be hurt if things didn't work out."

He was still watching me, trying to gauge my reaction, but I deliberately kept my expression passive. Analysing his words, I realised that I had completely misunderstood Jacob's previous comment. He didn't rate this Tanya above Kathy. He just thought that I was a user and was politely telling me which girl he would prefer to see used.

Apparently, Tanya was already a slut, so he didn't care if I got involved with her. I wasn't offended by his unflattering assessment of me. Jake showed pretty good instincts. If he'd been thinking of any girl but Katherine, he would have been right.

"Ok, fine." I nodded in agreement.

Jake seemed relieved. I was genuinely surprised that he cared enough about Kathy to try and protect her from me.

"To be honest, there was probably no need to say anything, anyway." He gave a slight smile.

"What do you mean?"

"I can't really see Katherine giving any guy the time of day. She's kind of… suspicious. Some of the things she told Nessie…" He paused for a second, seeming reluctant to give too much away and then ended with a note of finality. "I don't think she's looking for a relationship."

"Sure." I shrugged and affected unconcern, while inside I felt anything but.

Jake had revealed that Kathy had a distrust of men. Even though I should have expected it, his words made me feel really guilty. I remembered the part I had played in forming her outlook, and for the first time, instead of being glad that she was single, I just felt sorry that she was all alone. She deserved better than that.

Being unaware of my internal stresses, Jake continued straightforwardly. "Having said that, you'll probably get on ok with Katherine, she's pretty friendly." He smiled and added cheerfully. "And she's got some crazy stories about her travels, though she always keeps the worst for when Nessie isn't around.

"Like the time she had to escape from four vampire pirates off the coast of Thailand, who thought she was a witch, because of her golden eyes. Or another time, when she got shot by marines and the bullets bounced off, but she had to pretend to be dead anyway. She was nearly buried in a mass grave!"

Although I pretended to be entertained by these anecdotes, they in reality they chilled me to the bone. It seemed that Kathy had survived a number of hideous experiences since escaping from my tender mercies. This knowledge made feel me even more remorseful.

She should never have been left unprotected. Everything that had happened to her was _my_ fault. If I hadn't driven her away, she wouldn't have been so vulnerable. How in the hell was I _ever_ going to make up for this? I didn't have any answers, so I tried to put it from my mind, with limited success.

For the rest of the flight we stuck to more impersonal topics of conversation. Jake told me some more background to his history with the Cullens. It was entertaining to hear the story from a wolf's point of view. I suddenly realised that there were some important details that the vampires hadn't really bothered to mention.

The battle with the vampire Victoria sounded cool. But I was surprised that the Cullens had let things get so out of hand. Didn't they know the first rule of vampire slaying? Never leave the mate alive. You were only setting yourself up for trouble, if you did. 'No loose ends' was my motto when I was tracking.

But I wasn't surprised that she'd been defeated in the end. From what I could tell, she was an amateur with no clue of how to train an army. Her feral pack of newborns wouldn't have stood a chance against any mature coven, especially one containing guys like Jasper and Emmett. Throw the wolves into the equation and she was a lost cause.

To be honest, she sounded like a total dumbass. Just your typical grudge-bearing vampire chick, making pointless trouble because her loser boyfriend had gone and got himself killed. She didn't care about her army; she'd only used them as a distraction so she could get to Bella.

What a wasted opportunity. If this Victoria taken more trouble, she would have trained up a decent fighting force and taken over some valuable hunting grounds instead. Of course, to maintain control of an army, she'd have to be more than just vicious. She'd have to be a real leader, which she clearly wasn't. I knew that Brandon would enjoy this story. I grinned as I pictured the look on his face when I told him about it.

Our conversation made the flight pass more quickly than I was expecting, but I was still relieved when it was finally over. I was eager to catch up with the girls, and there had been someone on the flight with a small cut. The smell of fresh blood had been circulating through the plane, making my throat burn, for the whole journey.

We said goodbye to Nicki and Gloria, and thanked them for all their help. And I got to enjoy the spectacle of Jake trying to refuse Gloria's number without hurting her feelings. He should have done what I did. When Nicki slipped her number into my back pocket, I just smiled and thanked her. You didn't actually have to _tell_ a girl that you were never going to call. Jake's problem was that he was too honest.

At least we got through baggage collection without any further drama. We went to the Tourist Information desk and discovered when the next bus was heading out to Denali. It wasn't for a couple of hours, so we debated whether or not to just run there instead, but Jake pointed out that if he slept on the bus, he could run all night, once we arrived. This seemed like a reasonable suggestion, so I agreed and we spent the next two hours killing time at Anchorage International Airport.

Jake went to make a call home, and I entertained myself by following Kathy and Nessie's scent trails around the airport. Nessie had taken a look at the stuffed polar bear, which stood in the front entrance. And Kathy had bought a map of Denali from the gift shop. I was pleased that she was still following my advice after fifty five years. I was the one who'd taught her to read maps. Anyway it seemed like a smart idea, so I bought one too.

I then went to find Jake. I spotted him sitting near the exit. He was staring at the floor with a furrowed brow.

"Hey, what's up?"

"I just spoke to my dad." He glanced up at me. "He had Charlie on the phone this morning."

"That's Red's grandpa, right?"

"Yeah." Jake nodded. He was still frowning. "Apparently, Bella called Charlie last night, and it turned out that Nessie hadn't told her parents _anything_ about her plans to go to Alaska. They're pretty pissed about it."

This made me smile. "Cool."

Red's revolution had finally started. And I had a feeling that it was going to be pretty funny. I had to hand it to the kid; she had real entertainment value. Unfortunately, this fact seemed to be lost on Jake, because he was only managing to look stressed. I sat down beside him.

"What's the problem? I told you they'd push her too far and I was right. You should be glad."

"I should be _glad_ that she's gone AWOL?" He retorted angrily. "Right now, I don't even know if she's safe. And I've just discovered that she's also been lying to her family, and you think I should be _pleased _about the fact?"

"Sure. I mean it's a good sign. She told _you_ where she was going, didn't she? So that means she's switched sides."

"I don't care about sides. I just want to know that she's ok." He leaned forwards and rested his elbows on his knees, burying his head in his hands. "I'm so worried about her."

In his current state, Jake forcibly reminded me of Brandon, and I tried to cheer him up. "Don't worry, that's why you've come here. You'll have caught up with her by tomorrow. Nothing's going to happen before then."

As I said the words I realised that I was still really worried too, about Nessie, Kathy and the whole damn mess. That sense of unrest was still lurking in the background and I would feel a lot easier when we had caught up with them. Not that I was going to escalate Jacob's anxieties by telling _him_ that.

"I don't even know what I'm going to say when I see her," he sighed.

I hadn't really thought about this, but now I was curious. "Are you going to tell her what you know?"

"No." Jake looked up. His expression was tense. "I don't think Nessie wanted to lie to me, so I'd like to give her the chance to tell me herself. I think it would be better that way."

"What if she doesn't?"

"Then I guess I'll have to say something." He shook his head wearily. "_Damn_."

"She'll probably tell you," I reassured him. "I've never met a girl who can keep a secret."

Jake took a deep breath and glanced towards me with a slight smile. "I'm sorry for being like this. I don't know what the hell's wrong with me."

"That's ok, I get it. Wolves are drama queens… not like vampires," I added with a smug smile.

This drew an unexpected laugh from Jake. "I thought you'd met Edward!"

"Maybe he's the exception that proves the rule."

"Do you always have to get the last word?"

"Only when I'm awake." I grinned.

We waited at the airport until the bus for Denali arrived. Jake ate some _more_ food – I hadn't been human for decades, but I swear the amount he consumed wasn't normal – and I used the time to memorise the Denali map. I hadn't visited Alaska before and I was looking forward to crossing some new terrain.

When the bus finally arrived, I was relieved to discover that it was almost empty, which meant that Jake and I didn't have to be squashed together for the whole six hour drive. He took over a pair of seats at the back of the bus and promptly fell asleep. I spent my time gazing out of the window as the wild, frozen scenery flashed past.

When we climbed off the bus at Wonder Lake, I caught Kathy's scent immediately. It made me feel strangely exhilarated; she was finally within my grasp. I glanced at the sky. It was already getting dark. The evening was overcast, but the weather was mild. It would be easy running. I couldn't wait to get going.

No one else alighted at the bus stop and the campground was completely deserted. It was probably too cold for most humans to want to camp out. Jake opened his backpack and pulled out a harness.

"Nessie made this for me ages ago," he explained with a smile. "She didn't want to get dumped carrying everything when we went camping."

He then proceeded to attach the harness to his backpack.

I raised my eyebrows. "How much did she end up carrying?"

He laughed. "What do you think?"

"I think your girl is spoiled."

He grinned and started to show me how the harness worked. I agreed to strap it onto him after he turned into a wolf.

When Jake phased, I finally realised why the Cullens had made a treaty with the wolves. I couldn't imagine any vampire faring well against a pack of these. I had to admit, I was impressed. He was very powerful looking, with a thick coat of reddish-brown fur covering his massive frame. It was funny to think of little Nessie ending up with a monster like this.

As I strapped on his backpack, I couldn't resist saying. "I guess you're a pretty good lap-dog for Red." I'd never seen a wolf roll its eyes before. It looked pretty funny, so I added with a smirk. "If she bought herself a cute little Chihuahua, would you get jealous?"

This was answered with a rumbling growl, which I decided to interpret as a 'yes.'

The sun had set by the time we were ready to go and it was absolutely freezing. I was glad that Nessie wasn't a normal human; otherwise I'd have been worried that she'd get hypothermia in this place. I could see that Jacob's thick fur was very useful; he didn't seem cold. I met his eyes.

"They won't have been able to get too far, Red isn't that fast. I guess we should just follow their trail until we catch up to them." He nodded in agreement and I asked. "You've got good night vision, right?"

There was another silent nod, before Jake turned towards the trail. It was leading through the pines in the direction of the lake. I could feel that his eagerness to get moving matched my own. He glanced back at me and then took a few strides forward and broke into a run. I followed immediately, heading towards the trees and into the waiting darkness.

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Dear Readers,**

**The next chapter of this story will be posted on Saturday 28th July.**

**I generally make weekly updates to this story, and I know that many regular readers are used to those Saturday updates, so I always like to give warning if there is going to be any break in the routine, so that no one panics! (Ha ha. You never know, it could happen...!)**

**I've been planning to take a little time off posting for a while, though it is surprisingly difficult to do, because I _love_ putting up new chapters. This is probably the most natural moment to take a break, because next chapter is moving into a new section of the story. **

**The truth is that I really need to spend a few weeks just writing new chapters, without editing older ones. There are already a number of new chapters written, waiting to be edited, but it takes at least a week to go through each one, and this drastically cuts down on my writing time. And I know that the upcoming chapters will need loads of work, so I'll have even less time!**

**Anyway, I hope that this is ok, and I look forward to posting again in July. And I also hope that you will still be here when I do *crosses fingers*.**

**Apart from that, I just want to say a big thanks to last week's reviewers (including the people I couldn't PM; Joanna, Leigh-Ann and Olivia). All the comments were so nice! And thank you to everyone who added this story to their lists :)**

**Thanks for reading, have a really lovely month,**

**Mad :)**


	40. Nessie, the wilderness

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you to willowbae, my lovely, lovely beta for all her help:) <strong>

**Now, where was I...**

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><p><strong>Chapter 40.<strong>

**Nessie – the wilderness**

I awoke the next day feeling relieved and also extremely nervous. The decision to tell Jacob the truth had lifted a crushing weight from my heart, but the thought of actually making the confession created a whole _new_ problem. I was glad to have a few extra days before returning home and facing him… and my family.

It was only Thursday and I wasn't due to return to Seattle until Sunday night. Jake had offered to meet me at Sea-Tac when I arrived, so I had until then to work out exactly what I was going to say. I rather hoped that Katherine would come up with something clever, because I was drawing a complete blank.

I got dressed and crawled out of my tent. It was dark and freezing cold; the sun wouldn't rise for another hour. Katherine was still in her tent, so I went to see if she was ready to get up. I politely tapped on the tent flap, before unzipping it.

Katherine had previously explained to me that, as an alternative to sleeping, she was able to slip into a trance-like state, but I had never before seen her in action. Glancing into the tent, I discovered Katherine lying on her back. Her eyes were closed and her expression was serene. Lustrous waves of hair framed her lovely porcelain face, and she was so still that she looked like a divinely beautiful waxwork.

The sight was slightly disconcerting, I felt as if I was gazing at an empty vessel and my friend was somehow absent. I held my breath, not wishing to disturb her, but a second later her eyes flickered open and she sat up with a smile.

"Hey, Nessie."

"Hi." I breathed a sigh of relief. My friend had returned.

She noticed my uneasy expression. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah." I felt a little embarrassed as I tried to explain. "I just felt funny when I saw you like that. It looked like you'd gone away…"

Before I had the chance to continue with what promised to be a very convoluted explanation, Katherine nodded understandingly.

"You were right. I guess I'm not entirely there when I'm like that. It's the closest I come to escaping this body." She then added with a mischievous smile. "I hope I didn't freak you out. I probably looked like a bride of Dracula, sleeping in her coffin. Either that, or an embalmed corpse."

This blunt allusion to her state of un-deadness completely threw me and I choked out some unintelligible answer. She just laughed and suggested that we get ready to leave. We were planning to hunt that day and wanted to start early.

It wasn't long before we had packed up and were ready to proceed on our journey north. We were already far beyond the park boundaries, in very remote terrain. We picked up the strong scent of moose sometime around daybreak, and devoted the morning to hunting. The afternoon was spent moving across the frozen wilderness, covering as much ground as we could.

The weather was still clear as we ascended to higher plains. I didn't say much, my mind was absorbed with the previous night's conversation and my impending confession. It wasn't until the afternoon that I noticed that Katherine was also a little preoccupied. We had stopped to rest on an icy slope and she was very quiet, I glanced her way and saw that she was buried deep in thought.

"Katherine, are you ok?"

She looked up from her quiet reflections. "I'm fine, it's just…"

"Just what?"

"I don't know." Her eyes held a troubled expression. "Maybe we should head back to Wonder Lake and get you home."

"Why?" I exclaimed in surprise.

It was only Thursday. I wasn't planning to leave Alaska until Sunday, and to be perfectly honest, I didn't think that I was ready to face Jacob before then. I was about to argue with her, when I was suddenly hit by a humiliating realisation. I blushed and glanced away.

"I'm sorry. I know I haven't been very good company. I've just been worrying about everything and… and… I'll go home if you want me to…"

Katherine rested her hand on my arm. "No… no, Nessie. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. It's been great travelling with you. It's just, I'm on edge…"

"Why?"

"I don't know…" She shook her head in frustration. "I feel like something's wrong, but I don't know what."

Her serious tone really worried me. My experience with the real werewolf had left me more nervous than I would have liked. It didn't take anything to make me feel very jumpy. For the very first time I realised that our location was perilously remote. Even my cousins were miles away. We were hunting in the north, but they lived west of Mount McKinley, Katherine had only planned to travel down to them after I returned to Anchorage.

"Is it dangerous?" I whispered, peering warily over my shoulder, as if a monster was about to pop out from behind a tree.

Katherine quickly tried to reassure me. "Don't worry Nessie. I'm sure it's nothing serious. I just feel like we're in the wrong place right now." She threw me a rueful glance. "I'm not sure we should have come here at all. I think we should turn back, or at the very least, head south."

"Do you really think we need to?"

"Yes, I really think we do."

"Do I still have to go home early?" I asked timidly.

"No." She gave me an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, I think that was just me overreacting, but I would definitely feel better if we were closer to your cousins."

I gazed out across the snowy landscape and nodded. "Alright."

I tried not to be too afraid, but I still took Katherine's intuition seriously. If she thought we needed to head back, then I wasn't going to argue with her.

From that point, we started moving southeast, circling down towards the Kantishna Hills via a new route. Katherine seemed relieved that I had agreed to her suggestion. As we travelled, she set a brisk pace. I could tell that she was still on edge. She kept scanning the horizon, searching for signs of trouble, but she didn't voice her fears again. She probably didn't want to frighten me. She just kept up an easy flow of conversation while we ran, and I joined in and tried to stop worrying.

We ran until well after sunset, when Katherine seemed satisfied that we had gone far enough. We had almost reached the park border when we finally made camp. Katherine didn't bother to pitch her tent at all. She said that she felt like spending the night outdoors, to watch the night sky, but I was fairly sure that she just wanted to stand guard. I offered to stay up with her, but she just laughed.

"Don't be silly, Nessie. I don't need to sleep, but you do. It's worth getting some rest now, we've got a long day tomorrow, and there's no point in needlessly exhausting yourself."

I didn't want to sound paranoid, but I was still feeling a little anxious, so I asked. "Do you think there's something out there?"

"I don't know about that." She smiled reassuringly. "My intuitions aren't always easy to interpret. I might just be picking up on the fact that you want to go home, and building it into something more. It could even be something as simple as Jake wanting you home too. Who knows? But it's always better to be safe than sorry, right? It won't do any harm to keep an eye out tonight."

She sounded so calm and reasonable that I went to bed without feeling too worried. Before I drifted off to sleep, realised that her speculation rang true, Jake did want me home. I had never felt the connection so intensely before, but there was no doubt of how much he needed to see me. I knew it, because I felt exactly the same way.

The sun was shining on Friday morning when I poked my head out of my tent. Katherine was standing outside, glittering in the sunlight. She glanced over and smiled.

"Good morning, did you sleep well?"

"Sure." I nodded. "But I think I slept too long. Why didn't you wake me?"

She shrugged good-naturedly. "I thought you were probably tired."

I crawled out of the tent and ambled over to her, the snow crunching underfoot.

"When do you want to get going?" I glanced around me at the wintery scene. It seemed an amazingly mild day, we'd been really lucky with the weather. We would have another day of easy running ahead of us.

"I guess we should get started soon, and then maybe we could have a proper break in the afternoon, I think we'll have earned it by then."

So we packed up quickly and started moving. I had a feeling that I was going to be extra fit after all the exercise. I was right about the running conditions. We moved fast, the ground was still firm and the weather was entirely in our favour. We made great time and could entirely justify taking a long break in the afternoon.

Somewhere around two o'clock we took a rest, stopping in a snowy meadow, overlooked by low hills. The hills were overgrown with fir trees, and in the summer the meadow would have been covered in lush grass and wild flowers, but that day the ground was hidden by a thin covering of snow. Tufts of dead grass and rocks poked through, and a number of trees dotted the clearing.

Katherine brushed the snow off a large rock and sat down, but I crossed over to one of the firs and broke off a small branch.

"What are you doing, Nessie?" Katherine gave me a quizzical smile.

"Just something I've always wanted to do." I grinned and strolled back to her, carrying my piece of tree. Sitting down on a nearby rock, I reached into my backpack and pulled out my knife. "I've seen Jake do this plenty of times. As we're taking a break, I'm going to try some wood carving."

"I can see that Alaska has brought out your inner frontiersman." She laughed, as I started scraping the bark off my branch.

An hour later, my results weren't quite what I'd hoped they would be.

"What's it supposed to be?" Katherine gave a bemused smile. She'd been watching my progress with interest.

"A moose!"

I frowned with exasperation. Jake always made wood carving look so easy, but I was finding it surprisingly difficult. Somehow my moose looked more like a legless cow, or a fish… I couldn't decide which. I wasn't sure if the knife was the problem, or if I had chosen the wrong kind of wood. I sighed and continued with my whittling; wishing for the hundredth time that Jacob was there.

"It definitely has a certain moosiness," Katherine admitted with a laugh. But a moment later, all the humour vanished, as her head shot up and her nostrils flared. "Did you hear that?"

"No."

My eyes flew to her face. It was hardly surprising that I hadn't heard anything; my hearing was nowhere near as sensitive as hers. Katherine was on her feet in an instant and I followed suit. Her tall form tensed expectantly, listening. Her head was turned to the west. It was no wonder that we hadn't picked up a scent, because the wind was blowing up from the south.

I didn't make a single move, I hardly breathed, as I watched her. But I couldn't help the way that my heart was racing. I quickly glanced around the meadow, searching for the best way out, but Katherine didn't seem interested in trying to escape. The seconds ticked by as she listened. At long last, she breathed a sigh of relief.

"I can hear a human heartbeat."

I couldn't believe how glad I was to hear this; no regular human could be that dangerous to us. I took a shuddering breath and tried to calm myself.

"Just the one?"

"Yes, I think so." She nodded cautiously, and her expression suddenly changed. "Wait a second…"

"What is it, Katherine?" I fixed my gaze on the trees, trying desperately to see, or hear, _who_ was coming.

Katherine seemed slightly confused. "There are two of them, but only one heartbeat." A second later her eyes flew wide. "No…! It _can't_ be…" she gasped in disbelief.

At that very moment I heard the heartbeat for myself, and before she could finish, I was flying across the meadow.

"_Jake!_"

The second I heard his heart, I knew it was him. As I ran towards the sound, I caught sight of his tall figure moving quickly through the trees towards me. As soon as he heard my call, he looked right at me.

"_Nessie!_"

The sound of his voice filled my heart with longing. I didn't care that things had been difficult between us, or that my confession wasn't quite ready yet. I had no idea how Jake had come to be in Alaska; all I knew was that I needed him.

I took the final few strides at a surprising pace, reaching him just as he emerged from the trees. At that moment, nothing else in the world existed for me. All I could see was Jacob. I flung my arms around him as he pulled me into a tight embrace.

I was so happy, that I was practically sobbing as I hugged him. "Jake… Jake, I can't believe you're here. I missed you _so_ much…"

I lifted my eyes to his, and he pulled back a little and gazed down at me, his dark eyes searching my face. Raising his hand he brushed my hair away from my eyes and stroked my cheek. His expression was hard to read. There was some hidden emotion in his eyes. I couldn't quite place it, but I knew for sure that it wasn't happiness.

"Jake…" I lifted my hand to his. "What is it?"

"Nothing." He shook his head and wrapped both arms around me, pulling me closer. We squeezed each other tightly, as he buried his face in my hair. "I'm just glad you're ok."

"Why wouldn't I be?" I asked in surprise, turning my head look at him.

He didn't answer. He just lowered his head and kissed me. The second his soft lips met mine, all thoughts, except for how good he felt, were banished from my mind. I couldn't believe it, he was really there. _My_ Jacob, he had found me.

Leaving one arm wound tightly around my waist, Jake slid his other hand through my hair and held me in a fierce kiss. He tasted amazing – even better than I remembered – and I tightened my grip on him, letting his warmth wash over me as he deepened our kiss.

Was it possible that it had only been four days since we'd been together? It felt like a lifetime. I didn't even care that I would have to make my confession early. It would be worth it, if I could have Jake with me again, and at least it would be over and done with. I only hoped that he wouldn't be too upset.

He gave me another hug and drew back just enough to say. "You have no idea how much I've missed you, honey."

"Yes I do. I'm so happy you're here," I said, resting my head on his chest with a sigh. "I love you."

Jacob kissed my ear. "I love you, too."

He continued to hold me close as I lifted my fingers to touch his tanned cheek. I had momentarily forgotten my surroundings, but a movement in the corner of my eye brought me back to where I was. I looked over my shoulder and was confronted by an unexpected sight. Just a few feet away, the tall figure of a man stepped out from the dark trees. My eyes widened at the sight of him, and for a moment I almost doubted myself.

What on earth was _Leo_ was doing here?

Had he travelled to Alaska with Jacob? I couldn't imagine how this had come about. As far as I was aware, they didn't even _know_ each other. I fired a confused look at Jake, which he returned with a slight smile. I turned back to Leo with a bewildered expression, but if I was hoping for an explanation, I was destined for disappointment.

Leo stopped in his tracks, but didn't look at me at all. I don't think he even noticed that I was there. His whole attention was absorbed by something else. His brow was lowered, and his handsome features were fixed in a look of intense concentration as he stared across the frozen meadow. He stayed completely still and his eyes never moved. They were focused on a single point.

I looked across the icy ground to discover what held his gaze. And standing some distance away, with golden eyes locked on his, was Katherine.

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Hi there, back again!**

**I hope you've all been having a lovely July. Thanks for being so patient. I managed to have a good break, and even got some writing done, which I am pleased about :)**

**Thank you so much for the reviews and the really nice chapter-posting reminders. I really appreciated all the lovely messages. And a special thanks to the people I couldn't PM: jc725, Joanna, Olivia, Nessiejake4eva14 and Frank.**

**Have a lovely week,**

**Mad :)**


	41. Leo, reunion

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you to my beta willowbae for all her wonderful help :)<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 41.<strong>

**Leo – reunion**

We ran right through the night, moving fast as the miles disappeared behind us. I was impressed by Jacob's speed; he had no trouble keeping up with me. We didn't stop when the sun rose. The trail was easy to follow and it was clear that the girls hadn't been running particularly quickly. This was hardly surprising; they were just camping and hunting.

They took a steady route north, until they made an interesting shift in direction, suddenly swinging around southeast. At this point, they picked up the pace. They couldn't travel very fast, because Nessie didn't have anything approaching Kathy's speed, but I noticed that this more recent scent trail covered a much greater distance than before. The tracker in me could have sworn that they'd suddenly become nervous.

It seemed likely that Katherine had raised the alarm, she had great instincts. She probably guessed she was being followed. This didn't worry me; we were already no more than a few hours behind them. I wondered if Jake would want to stop for a break, but I noticed that his speed actually seemed to increase, the closer we got. It was obvious that he was desperate to catch up with Red.

I could relate to how he was feeling. As Kathy's trail grew stronger, I found it more and more difficult to think of anything else. Her scent held my complete focus. By early afternoon, we were within a couple of miles of the girls, and Jake suddenly slowed to a halt. For a second, I wondered what he was doing, but then he phased into his human form.

As soon as he was dressed, we started running again. We reached some low, wooded hills, and quickly passed through the trees. The ground was covered with snow, and the trees were frosted with a fine layer of ice. I wondered if they would be able to hear us coming, the snow was crunching underfoot, so it seemed very likely.

I was listening out for them as we approached through the woods, and I when we were a short distance away, I suddenly picked up Nessie's humming heartbeat. A second later I heard Katherine speaking quietly.

"I can hear a human heartbeat."

I faltered in my tracks. This was the first time that I'd heard her voice in half a century. Just listening to it was enough to blow me away. She sounded just as I remembered her, with that same sweet, low tone. It was like a siren call, drawing me closer. A moment later I heard Nessie's anxious reply.

"Just the one?"

On hearing his girlfriend speak, Jake glanced up and his expression became more purposeful. His pace picked up as we drew near.

I fell behind him. I was suddenly feeling nervous. I had dreamed about seeing Katherine for years, but now the moment had finally arrived and I was scared. What if she didn't want to see me? And worst of all, what if she wasn't the same girl anymore? A lot could happen in fifty years. What if she had changed and I discovered that the girl I was chasing no longer really existed?

I heard her voice again, as she answered her friend's question. "Yes, I think so…" There was a pause, before she added. "Wait a second…"

She certainly sounded the same. I took heart and continued at a steady pace through the trees, heading towards the light, which was shining from what seemed to be a clearing. Nessie's words came through more audibly. She still sounded worried.

"What is it, Katherine?"

We weren't far from the edge of the woods, within seconds they would be in sight. Jake was still ahead of me when I heard Kathy reply.

"There are two of them, but only one heartbeat."

At that moment the girls came into view through the trees. They were standing in the middle of a snowy meadow. Nessie didn't see us, but Katherine instantly caught sight of me. Her eyes widened into an expression of incredulous shock and she gasped.

"No…! It _can't_ be…"

In less than a second, Nessie had broken away from her friend and was sprinting across the ground towards Jacob, crying out his name. All I saw was a flash of auburn hair as she cast herself into his arms. The rest of my attention was fixed on Kathy.

She was dressed in hiking clothes, nothing fancy, just a plain jacket and pants, but she was still the most beautiful thing that I had ever seen. With her glorious mane of hair sweeping over her shoulders and down her back, and those strikingly dark eyebrows and lashes framing her fierce golden eyes. At that moment she looked like an avenging angel.

As soon as our eyes met, I slowed down to a walk. The last thing I wanted to do was panic her. She stood, tall and unmoving, as I approached. Still wearing an expression of disbelief, her gaze never left my face. It was obvious that she was in a state of extreme stress, her eyes were blazing, and she was so still that she may as well have been a statue.

I couldn't tear my eyes away from her face. I had thought that I loved her, but when I saw Kathy again, I realised that I was wrong. Love wasn't a strong enough word for the way that I felt about this girl.

Looking into her beautiful eyes, I could see that she was still the same person. Time hadn't changed her. The same indomitable spirit shone through in her expression. I recognised it at once. She still didn't move, even as a light breeze lifted her hair, causing it to flutter against her cheek and around her shoulders.

I reached the edge of the clearing and stepped out from the trees. Walking forward a few paces, I came to a standstill. I could tell that Katherine was so taken aback that she hardly knew how to react. I wanted to reassure her that she had nothing to fear from me. Still holding her gaze, I started to speak in a low tone.

"Kathy…"

Just hearing my voice seemed to release her from her frozen state of shock. Her expression instantly changed to one of fury. Her eyes narrowed and her sharp teeth were exposed as she pulled back her lips and snarled.

"_You…!_"

There was no mistaking the outrage and disgust in her tone – I guess that hadn't changed either. While this wasn't quite the reaction that I was hoping for, I wasn't exactly surprised and I refused to be put off just yet. She'd been angry with me plenty of times, I was used to it. She probably needed more time to adjust to our little reunion.

"Hey, it's ok." I raised my hand in surrender. "I didn't come here to cause trouble."

This was the moment when Nessie broke in. "Leo, I don't understand…"

I didn't bother to reply, but Kathy's head shot round. "You _know_ him?" She demanded, throwing a look of deep betrayal at her friend, while she pointed an accusing finger at me.

For the first time, I looked towards Nessie. She was standing nearby. Jacob had his arms wrapped firmly around her. They both seemed very surprised by Katherine's angry question. Red threw me a confused glance.

"Yes, I do…" she nodded, before turning back to Katherine and asking nervously. "Do you?"

Kathy seemed too enraged to speak, so I answered for her.

"Sure she does," I said quietly. By now, both Nessie and Jake had their eyes fixed on me, so I gave a slight smile and came clean. "I created her."

This simple statement had an electrifying effect on its listeners. Katherine clenched her fists and shot me a look of bitter hatred, and Nessie and Jake seemed completely thunderstruck. Nessie's mouth fell open and for a second she was rendered absolutely speechless, until she finally managed to gasp.

"_What…?_"

Her horrified expression left me under no illusion of what Katherine must have told her about me. I only wished that it wasn't true. Jake had been wearing a deep frown as the scene unfolded, and I noticed that he began to edge himself in front of Nessie, to shield her. He was clearly worried that there was going to be a fight.

Nessie then turned her wide eyes to Katherine, and choked out. "Is that _true?_"

Kathy met her gaze with a look of deep mortification. "I… I…"

I watched in dismay, as she fought to get the words out. Her eyes were pleading for understanding, as she tried to tell them what I had done to her. When she finally confessed the truth, her voice broke and she turned away with a sob.

"_Yes…_"

This really got to me. I could take it when Katherine was angry, but I couldn't handle seeing her look so devastated. None of this was her fault. She was entirely blameless for everything that had happened to her. Taking a hasty step towards her, I tried to speak.

"Kathy… I'm sorry… I didn't mean…"

Her head instantly snapped round and she fired me a furious look. "Just _don't…!_"

Before I could think of anything else to say, she took a few steps back, and then broke into a run and bolted across the meadow, vanishing into the trees on the other side of it. Her abrupt exit completely threw me; I hung back for a moment, hardly knowing what to do.

Nessie was much quicker to react. "Katherine, wait!" She cried. She glanced swiftly at Jacob. "I should see if she's ok."

He nodded. "Sure, but be careful. Don't get too close, she might be unstable right now."

"Ok."

She turned to follow her friend, and as she did, she met my eyes briefly. Her expression was reproachful. A second later, she was flying across the field, towards the trees where Katherine had disappeared. At this point, I finally broke out of my stupor. My instincts were to follow her, but as I moved forward, Jake quickly stepped in front of me, catching hold of my arm.

"_Wait!_"

I jerked my arm away, baring my teeth with a hiss, but Jake stood his ground.

"What the hell are you doing?" He said angrily. "Leave Katherine alone."

I didn't want to have to fight Jacob, so I took a step back, snarling in frustration. "What do you care? To you she's just a _leech._"

He answered evenly, but there was no mistaking the threat in his tone. "She's Nessie's friend and I'm not going to let you bully her."

I knew that it would take Jacob less than a second to phase if he wanted to. His posture wasn't tense, but I could feel that he was ready for action.

"What do you think I'm going to do to her?" I snapped. He made it sound like I was about to attack the girl I loved.

Jake met my eyes with a challenging expression. He was still standing between me and Katherine's trail. "Are you saying that you've never laid a finger on her before?"

Unfortunately, the unwelcome memory of backhanding Kathy into a tree flashed through my mind. She'd hit the trunk so hard that it had snapped in two. Jacob must have seen the guilty look on my face because he frowned cynically.

"I thought so."

"She bit me first!" I protested. I still had the scars to prove it; she'd bitten right through my hand. But I had to admit that this excuse sounded pretty lame, even to me. So I added in a sullen voice. "You weren't there."

"True." He looked at me appraisingly. "But I'm here _now_, and if you want to get to Katherine, you'll have to go through me first."

My eyes turned towards the trees. There was no sign of the girls. Just this small delay had given my rational side a chance to re-emerge, and I realised that Jake was right to stop me. Kathy needed to be calmed down and I probably wasn't the best person for the job. If I didn't watch out, this situation would degenerate into a brawl. And knowing my luck, it would be between Katherine and me.

"Fine." I scowled, fighting back my anger and adding resentfully. "Look, I don't know what you've heard about me, but I didn't come here to hurt her."

Jake answered bluntly. "I heard that you watched Katherine starve herself for a month."

Damn. I'd been hoping that that particular episode had been washed down the memory plughole.

I frowned. "Ok, I'll admit that wasn't my finest hour." Jake gave me an incredulous look, so I continued hurriedly. "But it wasn't always like that. If you don't believe me, ask Kathy. She's not a liar. She'll tell you."

"So why did she run away just now?" Jake was still very suspicious. In fairness, I could hardly blame him.

"I guess she's shocked. She hasn't seen me in over half a century. The last time we were together we had an argument and parted on bad terms."

Jake shook his head, trying to come to terms with this new development. A new thought must have struck him, because he threw me an accusing glare.

"You didn't come here because you were worried about Nessie, did you? You came here for _her_." He looked disgusted. "Geez, what kind of lying son of a bitch are you? Have you told the truth about _anything?_"

It was hardly surprising that he'd jumped to this conclusion, but at least on this score I could defend myself.

"Everything I told you about Red was true. I came to Washington for her, because I was really worried. I had no idea that Kathy was with her until I arrived in Forks. Hell, I didn't even know that she was still alive! I couldn't believe it when I picked up her scent at the Cullens' house. Maybe I should have said something…"

"Damn straight, you should," he interrupted angrily.

"I guess I didn't want the hassle of trying to explain myself. I didn't want you to try and stop me. I wasn't sure how much you knew of my history with Kathy. And I had no idea how she would feel about seeing me again. I wasn't lying when I said I wanted to follow Red. That was all true, I _was _worried about her, and I would have come to Alaska anyway. I meant everything I said to you, about her, about the Cullens… everything."

I looked at him apologetically. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have set things up like this, I was a jerk. I should have told you before. You can believe what you like, but I _never_ lied about the other stuff."

He raised his eyebrows. I could sense that he basically believed me – however grudgingly. "What about Katherine? Did you want to see her?"

"Yeah, of course I did. When I realised that Kathy was with Red, I was worried about her too. But I swear I didn't come to give her a hard time. She's angry with me, but I like her. I was looking forward to seeing her again. It's been a long time."

I tried to sound relaxed. I wasn't about to make a complete fool of myself by declaring my undying love for a girl who'd just fled at the sight of me.

Jacob's eyes narrowed. "And you don't want anything else from her?"

Well, if I was being completely honest, I would have said that I wanted to spend the rest of my existence with Katherine. But since there was _no_ chance of that happening, it wasn't difficult to say.

"No, I don't want anything."

"Well, that's good," he replied in a hard voice. "Because she deserves better than you coming here and screwing up her life."

The irony of this statement was not lost on me. Didn't he realise that I'd already done that half a century ago? Giving a twisted smile, I tried to fight back my feelings of shame. Jake caught my smile, but didn't understand the reason for it.

"I guess she was just one of many to _you_," he said scornfully, folding his arms over his chest.

I was stung into replying. "Yeah, but at least she was the last."

Jake was starting to turn his head towards the trees, in search of Nessie and Katherine, but when I said this, he gave me a piercing look.

"What do you mean?"

"What the hell do you _think_ I mean?" I snapped irritably and spelled it out to him. "I haven't bitten a single human since her. Kathy was the last."

His response wasn't quite what I expected. He seemed confused. "That _can't _be true."

"Whatever." I rolled my eyes. I wasn't about to spend the next half hour trying to persuade Jacob that I was telling the truth. What did it matter to him anyway?

We stood for a moment in silence. Jake was frowning at the snowy ground, lost in thought. My eyes were constantly scanning the trees for a sign of the girls. When he eventually glanced up, he was wearing a thoughtful expression.

"I should say this now, before the others come back, because things might get a little tense." He met my eye. "I'll be honest, Leo. Even though you've acted like a jerk, I think you're telling the truth. I don't really have a problem with you being here. But if Katherine and Nessie want you to leave, then I'll back them. But I'd rather not have to fight you."

"Don't worry." I had no desire to drag Jacob into a pointless battle. "It won't come to that. I'd like to stick around and help you get them somewhere safer. I'm not kidding. I think it's way too exposed out here. But if they want me to leave right away, then I'll go. No hard feelings."

"Ok, fine." He looked relieved. "I'll take your word for it."

We fell back into silence. My thoughts were entirely consumed by Kathy. I still couldn't believe that I had just seen her. She was still alive and beautiful… and still really, _really _pissed off with me.

But even that couldn't bring me down. Just seeing her had been enough to put me on a total high. I reminded myself that she'd been mad at me plenty of times, and I knew from bitter experience that I'd rather be with 'angry Katherine' than with no Katherine at all.

Gazing towards the woods, I realised that I was already missing her. I found myself worrying if she was ok. What if something bad had happened? I wondered if maybe I should go find her. It wouldn't hurt, would it?

I gave myself a mental slap. What the hell was I trying to do? I'd already been through this with Jake. Damn, I had to get my mind off Kathy, or I would be charging off and doing something stupid – or should I say something _stupider_.

I glanced around, looking for a distraction, and quickly found one. Jake had wandered across the meadow towards the girls' deserted backpacks. It didn't seem like Kathy would be returning at any time soon, so I followed him.

Their backpacks had been left by some large rocks, where they had obviously been resting. When I reached him, Jake was bending down to pick up a knife and a lump of wood, which were lying on the ground, surrounded by wood shavings. When he straightened up, he inspected the piece of wood with a bemused expression.

"Nessie's been doing some wood carving."

As always, Red had provided an outstanding piece of entertainment. In spite of my total emotional overload, my attention was instantly diverted. Jake held up her 'carving' and I was presented with the most inept piece of crap that I'd ever seen.

I gave a snort of laughter. "What the hell is _that _supposed to be?"

Even Jacob had to smile. "God knows."

"Well you'd better have worked it out by the time she gives it to you." I smirked.

It obviously hadn't occurred to Jake that Nessie's work of art was destined to be a gift for him. He looked slightly disconcerted, so I added with a wicked smile.

"Ten bucks says it's a bear."

He gazed thoughtfully at the lump of mangled wood and finally nodded. "You're on. It's definitely a moose."

"No way, that thing looks nothing like a moose."

He smiled fondly. "I know."

"You've got it bad." I shook my head.

Dumping his backpack on the ground, he sat down on one of the rocks to wait for his girl to reappear. "I know that, too."

I glanced towards the trees for the hundredth time and realised that he wasn't the only one.

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Thank you to last week's reviewers. I really appreciated all the nice messages and the 'welcome backs' (and an extra thanks to Louise and the guest reviewer, because I couldn't PM you).**

**I've had a few queries, so I should just clarify that I will continue to post a chapter every Saturday. If I take any breaks I will give warning (unless there is some unforeseen technical hitch or something like that). Sorry if I was a little unclear last week.**

**Anyway, have a lovely week,**

**Thanks for reading, Mad :)**


	42. Nessie, unwelcome

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

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><p><strong>As always, a huge thank you to my lovely beta willowbae, for all her help and her willingness to chat :)<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 42.<strong>

**Nessie – unwelcome**

I followed Katherine's trail for several miles, winding through the sparse, wintery woods. All the time my mind turned over the recent developments. Jacob's sudden appearance, combined with Leo's startling revelation, had completely thrown me. I still didn't know how Leo and Jake had met, or why they had followed us to Alaska.

And now Katherine had run off and I _really_ hoped that she wasn't going to go too far. She hadn't taken her backpack, so I guessed that she was probably intending to return – at least, I hoped to God she was. After seeing her shocked reaction in the clearing, I had no idea what to expect, I only knew that I was really worried about her.

Her expression when she had turned on Leo was completely uncharacteristic. Most of the time Katherine almost seemed human and it was unnerving to suddenly see her vampire side surface. The way she had snarled at him had really shocked me. And, for one awful moment, I'd thought she was going to attack him. I didn't blame her though, not when I learned that he was her creator.

I was absolutely stunned by _that_ little piece of information. I just couldn't believe that it had taken me so long to make the discovery. But then again, his name had never crossed her lips, and I had deliberately avoided mentioning Leo to Katherine, because Jake had asked me not to invite him to Forks. To think that I had considered _matchmaking_ them, I must have been out of my mind!

Even so, it would _never_ have occurred to me that Leo could be her creator. I wouldn't have thought that he would do the things she had described. I thought he was a nice guy. I knew that he was capable of kindness; he'd been kind to me and sympathetic too. Leo was my friend. How could her claims be true?

I wondered if Katherine had slightly misrepresented her experiences. I wasn't accusing her of lying, but it was possible that she had exaggerated a little. Leo couldn't really have let her starve herself and treated her cruelly, could he?

But that didn't explain away the fact that Katherine had been so distressed by the sight of him. Added to which, I knew that even a vampire as motherly as Grandma Esme was capable of murder. Some vampires acted like regular humans, but they weren't really the same.

Leo was a charming guy, and I had liked him when he'd spent time with us in New Hampshire. But, although I had shied away from his shadowy past, I knew perfectly well that he had one. A very dark one indeed; apart from everything else, he had murdered the girl he loved.

Of course he hadn't seemed scary when I'd got to know him, because I was protected by my family. But just from what they had said about him, I should have understood how dangerous he could be. When I'd heard about what he had done to his girlfriend, I had felt sorry for him. But now I imagined what it would be like, to come up against a guy like him if you were all alone… and human.

Katherine had said that her creator could be pretty terrifying. Now that I really thought about it, I could picture Leo being exactly that. She had been completely defenceless when she had first encountered him. My father had said that losing control and killing his human girlfriend had changed Leo. But Katherine had known him before his change of heart. When Leo had met her, he'd still been a typical hunter, feeding on humans.

I suddenly found myself wondering how she had survived at all, and I felt guilty for ever doubting her word. I could now see that it was a miracle that Leo hadn't just killed her. I couldn't entirely understand what had stopped him. Even Katherine didn't seem to know the real reason.

These dark revelations played through my mind until I caught up with my friend. I was about seven miles from the meadow when I finally found her. She had reached the outskirts of the woods, bordering on the banks of an icy river.

She was standing with her back to me, leaning against the slender trunk of a birch tree. As I approached, Jacob's warning flitted through my mind, and I hovered at a distance, unwilling to get too close until I had gauged her frame of mind. She didn't look at me; she just continued to watch the river, so I spoke cautiously.

"Katherine… are you alright?"

She shook her head, answering quietly. "No."

I took it as a good sign that Katherine hadn't snarled at me and I edged a little closer, moving forward to stand on the banks of the river. "I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do...?"

Throwing me a penetrating look, her voice trembled. "Did you know?" There was no mistaking the deep hurt in her expression.

"No… no," I shook my head vehemently. "I had no idea what he was to you. I swear it." As I looked into her distraught face, I added. "Do you really think I would have done _this_, if I'd known?"

She turned back to the river and took a shuddering breath. "Right now, I don't know what to think."

Resting her forehead against the smooth bark of the tree, Katherine closed her eyes. She didn't speak for several minutes, but I could see how hard she was struggling to hold herself together. I had never seen her this way before, vulnerable and hurting. I wanted to help her, but I couldn't think of anything remotely beneficial to say.

Eventually, it was Katherine who broke the silence. "Why didn't you ever mention him to me?"

This was an excellent question and I instantly felt very ashamed. I didn't want to admit that I had actually been thinking of setting them up – something told me that that would go down like a lead balloon – so instead, I mumbled.

"I don't know… I wish I had." Well, at least that last part was true!

She seemed to accept this weak explanation and a bitter smile twisted her lips. "Did you ever tell him about _me?_"

"No. We haven't spoken since I left New Hampshire," I explained hurriedly. "I met him for the first time when I stayed with my family over Christmas." She kept her eyes on the river as I added truthfully. "I don't know what the others may have told him, though. Grandpa Carlisle is pretty friendly with Leo's brother, so he might have mentioned you."

"His _brother?_"

This seemed to catch her interest, because she threw me a curious glance. I remembered that she said her creator had been travelling alone when he turned her. She probably didn't know Hal.

"He had the same creator as Leo; they were in a vampire army together. His name is Hal." I then elaborated. "He's a vegetarian too."

"Oh…" her expression was hard to read, as she turned her eyes back to the icy water and added. "Yes, I do remember his name."

I fell silent; I still didn't know what to say. It was obvious that there was a great deal of history between Katherine and Leo, which I knew nothing about. But it hadn't seemed that Leo was trying to cause conflict when he'd appeared in the meadow. If I was being honest, I would have said that he was doing his best not to upset her.

But, then again, what the hell did I know? I was having a hard time understanding my own family, let alone these two and their complicated past.

Katherine suddenly spoke, almost to herself. "I should never have come back…" She then added contemptuously. "I'll never listen to my instincts again."

I was quick to catch the note of self-denigration in her voice. It was something which I could relate to. But in _her_ case it was completely unjustified. Katherine hadn't asked Leo to come here. _She_ hadn't caused any of this. But before I could speak, she threw me a tortured glance.

"What is he _doing_ here?"

"I really don't know," I shrugged feebly.

To be honest I was wondering the very same thing. I could understand why Jacob had come to find me, if he had missed me half as much as I'd missed him, it would have been reason enough. But I had no idea why he had brought Leo with him on the trip. They were practically strangers. I couldn't understand what on earth they were doing, so I just said.

"Maybe Leo wanted to see you again, you know, to catch up and see how you're getting on."

This wasn't a very convincing explanation. I'd made it sound as if Leo had popped by for some afternoon tea and gossip, but it was the best I could think of.

Throwing me an incredulous look, her breathing hitched. "God, Nessie… don't you know him at _all?_"

"Err… what do you mean?" I had a feeling that I was way out of my depth.

"Do you know what he is?"

I gave a cautious nod. "Sure, my dad told me he's a tracker."

"What do you think he tracks?" Her voice had an edge, which was making me nervous. It was a simple question, but I suddenly realised that I'd never really thought about that. I gave it my best shot.

"Um… I guess he tracks for food."

She shook her head slowly, her eyes never leaving my face. "Leo tracks _vampires_. That's what his creator used him for. You have no idea how lethal he can be. _I _know. I saw exactly what he was capable of; he was on a bounty hunt when I was travelling with him. You should have seen him take this coven down. I've never seen anything like it. The guy was a goddamn machine."

I tried to equate her description of him with the easy-going guy who'd wrestled my uncles in the back garden. I frowned in confusion. Did I need to be afraid of him? I knew that Leo had the potential to be dangerous, but did he _want _to act upon it? My family had been cautious when he first appeared, but they had decided to trust him. My father could read minds; he had allowed me to go hunting with Leo, all by myself.

What my father had seen in Leo's memory was the most important issue for me. He wasn't the same person that Katherine had known. I could have sworn that he didn't want any trouble with her. Besides which, I was sure that if Leo had intended any harm, then Jacob would have sensed it. Jake would never have allowed him to get this close to me if he had believed that Leo posed a real threat.

Leo was probably just curious to know how Katherine was doing. After all, even _she _had admitted that they had got on ok sometimes. And maybe he wanted to see me too, though in truth, it did seem a ridiculously long way to travel just for that. Whatever the case, nothing could be resolved if we just stayed by this river. If she came back to the meadow, then perhaps we could discover why Jake and Leo had come so far.

"I know you're upset with him, Katherine," I said quietly, and noticed her fist clenching against the tree. "And I'm sure he deserves it, but I don't think he's quite the same as he used to be. I think he's changed a little bit. To be honest, I kind of like him… he's my friend. Maybe you could just talk to him…" I added tentatively.

"Vampires don't change," she replied with an icy edge to her voice.

"That's not true. They don't change _often_. But my family said that vampires can change sometimes. Like when they fall in love, the change is permanent. That happened with my dad. He was the same for decades and then he met my mom, and suddenly everything was different for him. He said so."

Katherine took a step towards the river bank and met my gaze with a very cynical expression. "So are you telling me that Leo is somehow _different?_"

"You saw his eyes. The last you saw of him, he was going off to hunt humans. Haven't you wondered why he's a vegetarian now?"

"That doesn't prove that he's changed. I already know that he's capable of living off animal blood. He did it for months, with me."

"He won't feed on human blood anymore. I'm not even sure if he _can_."

She frowned sceptically. "What makes you think that?"

I took a few cautious steps closer. "I could show you… if you like. My father read his mind when he came to our house in New Hampshire. He saw everything. I don't think that Leo is the same as he used to be."

Stopping a short distance away, I watched as Katherine struggled with her feelings. In the end her curiosity got the better of her and she nodded slowly.

"Alright, show me."

I stepped forward and touched her cool cheek, sending her my memories. I showed her exactly what I had shown Jake when I returned from New Hampshire in the New Year.

She witnessed how Leo had looked when he discovered that my father had married a human, and the later conversation between Uncle Jasper and my father. She saw my dad storming out of the room and then coming back to explain his extreme reaction. I showed her everything that he and Uncle Jasper had said on the subject.

Katherine learned that Leo had loved a human girl and killed her, and that he had stopped feeding on human blood because of this terrible act.

I watched her expression go from surprise to disbelief as the memories were revealed. When I finally pulled my hand away; I saw many conflicting emotions in her eyes, the most obvious of which was pain. She didn't speak for moment, trying to come to terms with what I had shown her. I felt slightly anxious, it was clear that she was deeply affected by what she had seen.

"Katherine, are you ok?"

She turned her burning golden eyes to my face. "He fell in _love_…"

I couldn't tell if this was a question or just a statement of fact. She seemed to look right through me as she repeated my father's words. "He was completely bound to his victim." Her voice was scarcely more than a whisper as she added. "She was the one and she's gone..."

I nodded gently. "Yes."

Katherine's eyes suddenly snapped into focus and I saw a fleeting look of humiliation cross her face. Somehow, her reaction was not what I had anticipated and it troubled me. But before I'd had a chance to discover what was wrong, her expression changed. Lifting her chin, she gave a cold smile and said smoothly.

"It seems that Leo got everything the wrong way around. He should have turned her and killed me. We would all have been so much happier."

This blunt statement took me by surprise and I shook my head in protest. "Don't, Katherine... don't say that…"

"Why not, it's true isn't it?" She glanced at me with a hard look in her eye. "Don't you get it, Nessie? Leo would exchange my fate for hers in the blink of an eye, and I wish that he _could_. Then they could spend a blissful eternity together and I could escape from this curse." Her tone became biting as she added. "I wouldn't be trapped in a state of living death. I wouldn't be forced to exist, all alone, year after year, with no hope that anything in my life could _ever_ be any different."

This was the first time that she had given me such an uncensored view of her existence, and I had absolutely nothing to say. She registered my shocked expression and threw me a faintly mocking smile.

"Don't worry, Nessie. I _can_ live with it… but if Leo had got things right, then I wouldn't _have _to."

She held my gaze briefly, before turning her back on the river and walking past me into the trees. I hesitated, unsure if she wanted me to follow, but she glanced over her shoulder.

"_Well_… aren't you coming?"

"Where are we going?" I hurried after her.

She cocked an eyebrow. "I thought you wanted me to speak to my _beloved_ creator."

"Oh, right." I swallowed nervously. Although this was what I had suggested she do, I couldn't help feeling a little worried. "Um… you won't tell him what I just told you – about the dead girl – will you? He doesn't know that I know anything about it."

"Don't worry." Katherine shook her head with a look of weary resignation. "Your secret's safe with me."

It was only after she spoke, that I suddenly realised my friend was prepared to tolerate a great deal. Leo had ruined her life and I had blabbed the contents of his private thoughts, but she still wasn't going to say 'screw it' and throw this stuff in his face.

As we walked in silence, I glanced surreptitiously at Katherine. Her face was calm and her expression completely inscrutable. She'd been unable to contain her distress when first confronted by Leo. But she was different now. Her defences seemed to have kicked in, the barriers had gone up, and I had a strong feeling that she was untouchable behind them.

It gave me an insight into how she must have survived all these years. She seemed to have the ability to lock her emotions away and face the world head-on. She was much tougher than me. She was tougher than almost everyone I knew. How else could she have survived being bitten by Leo?

We jogged back to the meadow, and I noticed that Katherine never once broke pace. She displayed no anxiety or hesitation as we drew closer to our destination. In fact, she showed no feeling at all as we reached the clearing.

I wondered how long this would last.

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**A big thank you to last weeks reviewers, I really appreciated the positive feedback :) And, of course, an additional thanks to the reviewers that I couldn't PM, Joanna and Nessiejake4eva14, your messages were really nice :)**

**Have a really good week, thank you for reading, Mad :)**


	43. Leo, truce

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

**And a big thank you to my lovely beta willowbae :)**

* * *

><p><strong>Dear Readers,<strong>

**I've noticed that there has been some confusion developing about the Katherine/Leo relationship. **

**Although it is unusual for me to do this, it seems sensible to write a quick summary of what has happened so far, to clear up any misunderstandings, after all this is a long story. I will include the most relevant chapter numbers for anyone who wants to double check, and everything mentioned in the summary will have already appeared in the story. I won't be throwing in any new information. **

**In 1968 Leo first encountered Katherine. He followed her for weeks and finally bit her. When she was a newborn they spent several months travelling together, until they had a huge argument and parted ways.**

**Leo felt so guilty for biting Katherine that he never fed on human blood again (chapter 15).**

**Edward had a tiny glimpse into Leo's memory of the bite, and jumped to the wrong conclusion. He assumed that Leo had killed the girl he loved; he had no idea that she was transformed into a vampire. What Edward told the Cullens was inaccurate (chapter 8). **

**Nessie did not know that Edward had made a mistake, and she told Jake and Katherine that Leo had accidentally killed his human girlfriend (chapters 11, 42).**

**None of them realise that Katherine was the human girl in Leo's memory, and Leo has absolutely no idea that they all believe he's still mourning some dead human girlfriend. **

**Leo is in love with Katherine. She is completely unaware of his feelings. **

**Anyway, on with the story…**

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><p><strong>Chapter 43.<strong>

**Leo – truce**

We heard the girls approaching a minute or two before they arrived and we quickly rose to our feet. They seemed to be moving at a steady speed. I could sense Jacob's eagerness to see Nessie again. If he hadn't wanted to stand guard over me, I'm sure he would have gone forward to meet her.

Instead, he waited patiently as she jogged through the trees with Katherine by her side. They slowed to a walk as soon as they reached the meadow. As they crossed the snowy ground, I noticed that Red was looking nervous; she kept glancing at Jake for reassurance. Kathy, on the other hand, seemed completely in control of her feelings.

She didn't give me more than a brief glance as she approached. I couldn't look away as she walked gracefully towards us. She'd always had a natural athleticism that stood her apart from other girls. Vampires are invariably physically coordinated and strong. But Katherine had an extra power and agility, which made her supremely beautiful. When she was in motion she looked her very best.

Although they were both anxious, Jacob and Nessie needn't have worried, I could see that Kathy had no intention of fighting me. Taking a long look at her face, I recognised her cool expression. I had initially caught her off-guard, but she had bounced back with her shields up. She wasn't about to lose control again.

I had to admire the speed at which she had recovered from the shock of seeing me. But then again, Kathy had always been able to roll with the punches. She was, first and foremost, a survivor. She stopped a few feet away and looked me straight in the eye.

I braced myself. It was time for the accusations.

I quickly tried to work out an explanation for my presence; preferably one which wouldn't include my mountainside ESP, Jasper's slip, my intuitive anxiety for Nessie's welfare, or my overwhelming desire to see Kathy again. Needless to say, with all these omissions, I was basically left with 'I wanted a vacation in Alaska', and I couldn't imagine that _anyone_ would buy that load of crap. When Kathy finally spoke, her voice was calm and fearless.

"I don't know what you're doing here, Leo. And frankly, I don't _want_ to know. Nessie told me that you're her friend, so I guess I'll just have to put up with you." She then glanced at Jacob and Nessie, who were already standing together, and added firmly. "I'm sorry that I made a scene and embarrassed you both. I'll try not to let it happen again."

With these words, she turned her back on me and went to fetch her backpack, leaving the rest of us dumbstruck. Everyone there – including me – would have agreed that Katherine was well within her rights to slap me across the face and order me to leave. At the very least she could have demanded some sort of reason for my sudden appearance.

But here she was, telling me that she didn't care and calmly apologising to the others for making them uncomfortable. When I'd had a second to think about it, I realised that I shouldn't have been so surprised by her behaviour. I knew how brave she was. Her pride alone would have prohibited her from showing any weakness now.

Jake looked slightly disconcerted when he finally answered her. "Don't worry about it." He then threw a disapproving glance in my direction and added. "We _all_ understand you must have had a real shock."

Slinging her backpack over her shoulder, she smiled briefly at him. "Thanks."

Up until this point, Nessie had been standing quietly beside Jake, but now she gave a small frown and glanced up at him. "Why _are_ you here, Jacob? How did you meet Leo?"

I was very curious to know what he was going to say. He reached out and took both her hands in his. Meeting her eyes, he replied calmly.

"Leo came to visit you in Forks, and when he couldn't find you, he came to see me. He'd heard you were in Alaska with Katherine and felt like travelling here too. I was missing you, so he asked me to come with him."

Because _obviously_ that's what two complete strangers – who also happened to be natural enemies – would decide to do. Jacob's excuse wasn't much better than the one I'd thought of!

I noticed that although everything he said was technically true, he didn't mention how worried he had been, or say anything about what her uncle Jasper had done. He must have been serious when he said that he wanted to give Nessie the chance to confess on her own, instead of confronting her with what he knew.

I didn't expect Nessie to accept this slender explanation, so I was amazed when she nodded quietly. "Ok." At that moment I realised how implicitly she trusted him.

He squeezed her hands. "You don't mind, do you?"

"No." She shook her head and lifted her wide eyes to his face. "But Jake, did _you_ know that Leo created Katherine, when you came here?"

Jake had the perfect opportunity to really dump me in it, but he was surprisingly restrained. "No, I didn't. I found out when you did. But I've spoken to him about it, and I don't think he wants to make trouble."

Nessie seemed a little uncertain when she glanced at me, so I gave her a smile, which was supposed to instil confidence. By some miracle it worked, because she breathed a sigh of relief and started to look more relaxed.

"Ok, that's good."

I had half an eye on Katherine during this exchange, curious to know what she was thinking, but she just kept her expression completely passive and so it was impossible to tell. She was going to give nothing away. Unlike her innocent friend, Kathy had learned the hard way that it was sometimes necessary to conceal her feelings.

Her face was very beautiful wearing this reserved expression, but I liked it much better when she smiled, although something told me that I wasn't going to be seeing many of those.

I remembered that during our first difficult weeks travelling together, when she had avoided speaking to me at all, about the only time she had smiled was on the hunt. It had been the first thing to bring us together in any way. With this in mind, I instantly resolved that there _would_ be a hunting trip within the next twenty four hours.

"So what do we do now?" Red looked expectantly at Jake.

She clearly hoped that he would know how to diffuse this awkward situation. Luckily for her, he rose to the occasion. He thought for a second and then made a sensible suggestion.

"We should probably head south, since you want to get back to Seattle on Sunday. It would take us closer to the main road and the campsites."

"I don't have any exams until the end of next week," she replied meditatively. "We don't have to rush back on Sunday. We could stay a little longer, if you like. It might be nice to have a few days here together, since you've come all this way."

This sounded like a fantastic idea; it meant that I might get some more time with Kathy. But before I could get too excited, Nessie glanced at her friend.

"Of course, Katherine already has other plans."

Kathy gave a relaxed shrug. "Sure, I said that I'd head down to your cousins' home on Sunday, but that shouldn't affect what you decide to do. You should make the most of being here."

She spoke to Nessie and Jake, without even troubling to look at me. She probably hoped that I would just go away and die. She certainly wasn't going to acknowledge any interest in _my _plans. I had to work really hard to conceal my admiration. She was so cool.

Jake seemed unsure. He glanced over to judge my reaction. We had both shared a concern for the girls' safety. My feelings of anxiety had slightly diminished since finding them. I still didn't really like Katherine or Nessie being in such an exposed place, but I wasn't so worried now that Jake and I were there too. I thought we would be able to provide a fairly reasonable level of protection, and I certainly wasn't going to pass up the opportunity of spending a few extra days with Kathy.

I met his eye and tried to sound unconcerned. "It doesn't sound like a bad idea, if we travel south anyway."

"Ok," he agreed slowly. "Let's head south and see how it goes."

He was rewarded with a sweet smile from Nessie. From the corner of my eye, I noticed Kathy looking rather unimpressed. But before anyone else had registered her disapproval, she gave a resigned shrug and asked in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Shall we get moving now?"

"Sure."

Jake nodded and kept hold of one of Nessie's hands as he went to collect his backpack. It was resting on the ground beside hers. She followed him and noticed her knife and wood carving, lying on one of the boulders. She pocketed the knife and picked up the lump of wood, before turning to Jacob with a nervous expression.

"I made this for you."

I honestly don't know how he kept a straight face as she handed him the carving. But he seemed genuinely grateful as he accepted it.

"Wow, thanks. That's really nice." I could tell by the adoring way he looked at her that he actually meant it. She flushed with pleasure at his compliment, and he asked politely. "How long did it take you?"

"A whole _hour_," said Nessie, looking very proud of herself. She then added helpfully. "It's a moose."

Jake shot me a triumphant look and then smiled down at her. "I could tell."

Nessie, who was still watching his reaction, raised her big brown eyes to his face and asked anxiously. "Do you _really_ like it?"

He pulled her close and kissed her. "I love it." There was no mistaking his sincerity. Her face shone and she hugged him.

It was interesting to observe Nessie and Jake as a couple. I hadn't really been able to picture them in a relationship, but now I saw them together, their close bond was obvious. They both looked happier than I had previously seen them.

I noticed Katherine watching their exchange. She was obviously very familiar with their behaviour, because she shook her head with an indulgent smile, before glancing away to survey the southern hills. Kathy wasn't the type to begrudge her friend a happy relationship, just because she didn't have one herself. I had never known her to be petty and I was pleased to see that she hadn't soured over the years.

We got moving soon after. We weren't trying to travel particularly quickly so Jacob didn't bother to phase into wolf form. Maybe he thought that it would keep the atmosphere friendlier if he was actually able to speak. Or maybe he just wanted to kiss Nessie – who could say?

I didn't want to seem too pushy, so I jogged behind them at a relaxed pace. Kathy also fell back, but she kept her distance from me, moving with remarkable grace across the wintery scene. I glanced at her sometimes, but her eyes were always fixed firmly ahead.

I wanted to speak to her. I almost tried a few times, but always stopped myself before the words escaped my mouth. I knew that I should leave her alone. She needed more time to adjust, probably several weeks. Unfortunately I didn't have several weeks, I only had a couple of days and then she'd be gone again. So I decided to give her a few hours before I tried to start a conversation.

It didn't help my resolve that running with her brought back all my happiest memories. It didn't seem as if any time had passed since we had last travelled together this way. We had usually talked when we were on the move, and I had to concentrate really hard not to forget that things weren't like that anymore.

It was even more undermining to my self-control that every few minutes her scent would waft towards me, sending my thoughts into a jumbled mess. The only thing that stopped me from completely losing it was the knowledge that she hadn't banished me _yet_. I really didn't want her to change her mind, so with tremendous effort I managed to keep my focus. It was tough though.

She was just so beautiful… so perfect…

So _not_ interested in me.

I gave a sigh and tried to focus again.

We moved south over the hills and as the miles passed, I noticed that it wasn't just Kathy and me who weren't speaking. Although Jake and Nessie had been talking when we started out, they gradually fell silent. I had an ominous feeling that after the initial pleasure of seeing one another, they were starting to remember that things hadn't been going too well when they'd parted in Washington.

I began to wonder what would happen when Nessie finally confessed her secret to Jacob. I hoped she would get it over with soon, if only to put them both out of their misery. I couldn't imagine that it was going to be easy for either of them, but nothing was going to get any better as long as she carried on lying to the guy, especially since he knew exactly what she was doing!

Close to sunset, we stopped in a hillside clearing to make camp. We dumped our backpacks and Nessie suggested that we build a bonfire. This basically involved Jacob spending quarter of an hour searching for deadwood branches. Once the wood was gathered, it didn't take long for him to light the fire, which was good work considering that the firewood was half frozen.

Credit to Nessie – and Jake – once the fire was going, it was nice. Everyone just sat around, leaning against their backpacks and watching the flames. Nessie sat close to Jacob with her head resting against his shoulder, while they both snacked on the human provisions. And Kathy continued to keep her distance from me, staying on the opposite side of the fire. She didn't look at me, she just chatted quietly with Nessie. Jake listened to them without saying much. He looked tired. It seemed as if his overnight run was starting to catch up with him.

I wasn't really listening to what they were saying; I was too busy trying to think of a good conversational opener. I didn't want to put it off any longer. I was _going _to talk to Katherine, whether or not she liked it. All I had to do was think of something to say that wouldn't make me sound like a complete dumbass.

As I tried to find the key, I couldn't help gazing at her. I still couldn't quite believe that she was really there. After all the desolate years of separation I was finally with her again. It was completely surreal. She wasn't a figment of my imagination. She was really alive – well, as alive as an undead person could be – and she was still perfect. In fact, I don't think that my memory had ever really done her justice.

The pictures in my head were just empty shadows compared to the real girl. I had been captivated by her human eyes. But I was reminded that her golden eyes were just as lovely as the blue ones had ever been. They were still ever-changing and transparent, and framed by those spectacular eyebrows. They were still gateways to a beautiful soul; nothing could change that.

I watched the subtle changes in her expression as she talked to her friend. The soft curve of her lips when she smiled. The way a lock of hair brushed against her oval cheek, before she carelessly pushed it away. The way the firelight made her porcelain skin glow with a thousand different lights.

The way she scowled at me when she realised that I was watching her.

Damn. I had been so absorbed, that I hadn't looked away quickly enough. I was caught off-guard when she gave me a resentful glare and demanded in a frosty voice.

"Why are you looking at me that way?"

"What way?" I answered evasively, really hoping that she wasn't going to say, 'like a lovesick dog.'

Nessie glanced nervously in her direction and Jacob suddenly seemed more awake.

Katherine frowned. "Like you're counting all my faults."

_WHAT…!?_

I almost choked. How in the hell could she be _so_ wrong? I was too surprised to give a thoughtful or clever reply.

"Dammit, Kathy! I wasn't thinking _that_," I snapped defensively.

"_Fine_." She raised her brows challengingly. "What _were_ you thinking?"

Jake sat up straighter and his gaze travelled from Kathy to me. His expression was quite cheerful. Unlike Nessie, he actually seemed to be enjoying our little spat.

Kathy's question completely threw me. All I could see were her fierce golden eyes reflecting the firelight as they held my gaze. My mind was emptied of all coherent thought and the only thing I could remember was that I'd been thinking about her blue eyes.

"I was remembering your eyes…" I explained; feeling slightly dazed. "When you were human."

Her eyes narrowed and her tone became even icier. "What about them?"

Kathy was looking seriously pissed off and I had no idea of how I was going to dig myself out of this hole.

"Well, they used to be really pretty."

That was a complete understatement, but I didn't want to get carried away and expose myself any further. Her eyebrows snapped together angrily and I suddenly realised that my comment sounded like a criticism of how she looked as a vampire, so I added hurriedly.

"But they're nice now… too. So you don't need to worry…"

Unsurprisingly, this compliment fell entirely flat. I couldn't believe that I actually had a reputation as a smooth talker. It was so typical; talking to women had been always been second nature to me, but as soon as Kathy was around I turned into some fumbling idiot who could barely string a sentence together.

There was a long pause, before Katherine said in biting accents. "Well, thank you for your reassurances, Leo. They're really helpful." She then added in a tone which could have cut glass. "I don't have a pulse anymore. Do you want to make me feel better about _that _too?"

_Ouch!_ That really stung.

Nessie looked very unhappy and I noticed that even Jake winced at these words. Katherine then turned away from me, making it very clear that our conversation was over. And I was left smarting from her humiliating put-down.

The worst thing was that I couldn't even blame her. I knew perfectly well that I deserved her anger. She'd had a proper life before meeting me, and a beating heart. She didn't like being a vampire, she wanted to be human. And I, like a total idiot, had got her thinking about what she'd lost, or should I say what I'd taken from her.

Why had I brought it up? What the hell was wrong with me?

Of course, Kathy didn't say another word to me; she wouldn't even look in my direction. I didn't attempt to start another conversation, except with Jake, when we talked about the travel route for the following day and I suggested a hunt.

When the fire finally burned down to its embers, Nessie and Kathy went to put up their tents. Jake and I had both brought tents too, but neither of us bothered to pitch them. I wasn't in the mood to be in a tent, and I thought that it would be a good idea if someone was outside, keeping watch. I still had an uneasy feeling.

I had assumed that Jake would want to shack up with Nessie, but I was wrong. When she asked him if he wanted to stay in her tent, he shook his head and said that he would prefer to sleep in wolf form.

I thought this might be because he had the same idea as me and wanted to keep his defences up. But when I saw the guarded look on his face, I wondered if he might still be feeling upset about Nessie's lies. She looked slightly confused when he refused her, but she didn't question him, she just nodded and let it go.

At long last everyone was ready to settle down for the night. I found a relatively comfortable site under a fir tree, near the campsite. Laying down my ground sheet, I tossed my backpack next to the tree trunk and sat down, leaning back against it. Kathy was the first to head into her tent. As she passed me, I caught her eye. I was curious about something, and decided to take a chance by enquiring.

"Do you still sleep?"

I thought she might not bother to reply, but she glanced in my direction and spoke quietly. "Yes, I've got better at it."

"That's good."

She shrugged. "I guess so."

I was encouraged by her lack of overt hostility, and as she turned away I couldn't resist asking. "Do you still stargaze?"

I didn't know why it was so important for me to know, but I waited for her answer with baited breath. Katherine paused for a moment and then replied without looking back.

"No… I don't."

For some reason, this news made my heart sink. It was like being told that a small part of her had died. I didn't think that she was going to say anything else, but as she started to walk away, she glanced over her shoulder.

"Goodnight, Leo."

I was surprised by this concession on her part and answered cautiously. "Goodnight, Kathy." I wasn't even being ironic when I added. "Sleep well."

She and Nessie climbed into their tents and Jacob phased and went to lie by Nessie's tent. He was so big that he curled around one side of the tent, with his head resting by the entrance. He didn't take long to fall asleep.

I was glad we were on a hillside, the view wasn't bad, and as I rested against my tree, my eyes were constantly scanning the darkened landscape. Just like the previous night, there wasn't much cloud and the temperature was freezing cold. The Alaskan air was the cleanest that I had tasted in a long time. There wasn't much moving out there, everything was quiet, well, everything except for Nessie.

I could hear her in her tent, restlessly tossing and turning, and giving the occasional frustrated sigh. Jacob didn't wake up, and I couldn't hear a sound coming from Katherine's tent, so I assumed that she wasn't disturbed either. After about an hour of this, I heard Nessie's tent flap being unzipped and saw her head pop out of the entrance.

She glanced over to me, meeting my eye with a small smile, before dragging her sleeping bag and camping mattress halfway out of her tent, so they ended up right next to Jake. She then climbed swiftly into her sleeping bag and snuggled up to him. In his sleep, he moved his head, so it was resting against her.

She gently reached out her hand and stroked his nose, before settling down. I heard her breathing become regular as she drifted off to sleep a few minutes later, curled up by his side. She didn't stir again until morning.

The only thing that disturbed Jacob was when a distant wolf pack began to howl. The sound was very faint, but he was awake within moments of the first call. He lifted his head, careful not to wake the sleeping girl beside to him. I wondered if he could understand them as he listened intently for a few minutes. He then softly nuzzled Nessie's hair, before laying his head on his paws and going back to sleep.

After that, there were no further movements from anyone in the camp. I just stayed quiet, keeping watch through the night.

I spent the whole night thinking about Kathy. I could smell her scent so strongly that it would have been impossible not to think about her, even if I had wanted to. I worried if she was ok, I knew that the day's events must have been really tough on her, however brave she was, and I wished that things could have been different. I wished that _I _could have been different, by making her happy, instead of hurting her for the thousandth time.

As the night wore on I found myself listening out for her.

But she never made a sound.

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Hi there, just to say a big thanks to everyone who reviewed last week, or added this story to their lists, I really appreciated it. And an extra thank you to the people I couldn't PM: NessieJake4eva14 and the guest reviewer.**

**Thanks**** for reading, have a lovely week,**

**Mad :)**

**p.s. If anyone still has any story queries, please feel free to ask :) **


	44. Nessie, the hunt

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

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><p><strong>A big thanks to my beta willowbae for all her help :)<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 44.<strong>

**Nessie – the hunt**

There was something troubling Jacob.

When he first arrived in the meadow, I was so happy to see him that nothing else mattered and there were no barriers between us. Then the reunion between Katherine and Leo created such a drama that everything else was overshadowed. But once that situation calmed down, things began to get uncomfortable between Jake and me.

When we finally got moving, and I had the opportunity to think clearly, I started to worry. I remembered the way I had treated Jake before leaving for Alaska, and all the lies that I'd told, and I began to feel slightly uneasy. I had already decided to confess the truth, but I wasn't sure how to go about it. I knew that however I broke the news, Jacob was going to be really hurt.

My anxiety put me on edge, so at first I assumed that the tense atmosphere was being entirely generated by me. But after a few hours, I started to get the lurking feeling that there was also something bothering Jake. I couldn't exactly place it, because he was still being affectionate towards me. But there was a look in his eyes, a guarded expression, which made me feel as if something else was wrong, and I could sense that he wasn't particularly happy.

I had to consider the idea that my own lies were making me paranoid, and maybe he was still just concerned about me. With this in mind, I was reluctant to confront him. But this didn't remove my nagging worry. Had I pushed Jacob away with my lies? If an imprint behaved badly enough could their wolf stop loving them?

I tried to banish these fears to the back of my mind – of course Jake would never stop loving me – but I didn't succeed in eliminating them.

When Jake refused the offer to sleep in my tent, I was a little hurt. Ok, it's not like I was about to pull some big seduction – after all, Katherine and Leo were only a few feet away – but I'd still hoped that he would want to be near me. I tried not to let his rejection get to me and didn't pass comment. I just accepted that Jacob wanted his space.

But then he made me feel even more confused by deciding to sleep right next to my tent. I spent an hour trying to fall asleep, while all the time wishing that we were touching. I didn't know if Jake minded, but I eventually caved, and dragged my sleeping bag halfway out of my tent, so I could sleep beside him. I was glad that I did, because he didn't seem to be disturbed by my manoeuvres and I finally got some rest.

Jake was up and dressed before I awoke the next morning. He gently stroked my hair to wake me.

"Honey, wake up." I reluctantly opened one eye and he gave a wide grin. "Rise and shine, it's a beautiful day and we're moving on in five minutes!"

"_What!_" I sat bold upright, suddenly completely awake.

"Gotcha!" He laughed, dodging out of arms reach, before I could touch him.

We didn't actually get going for another half hour, by which point I had eaten breakfast, packed my things, brushed my teeth, and refilled my water bottle in a stream containing the coldest water known to man.

I was pleased to discover that the atmosphere in the group had greatly improved from the previous night. Katherine was looking much more relaxed and Leo seemed positively cheerful. When I returned from the stream, I found the others talking in a very civil manner, discussing the travel route. Leo wanted to go hunting, and so did Jake. Katherine and I were happy to go along with this plan.

We were blessed with another day of mild weather. It was very cold, but the sun was shining intermittently and the clouds were fairly light. Jake phased and we started running at a moderate pace. Leo appeared beside me and Jake fell back to run with Katherine. Leo threw me a friendly smile.

"Hey, Red. How's it going?"

We hadn't had much chance to talk on the day before, everything had been too tense, and to be honest, I'd been feeling a little annoyed with him for upsetting Katherine. But now, on this bright new morning, when everyone seemed to be in a better mood, it was easy to smile back and say.

"I'm good, thanks. How are you?"

He proceeded to tell me that he'd had the worst night's 'sleep' of his life. "I swear I didn't get a wink. What with those howling wolves, and bellowing moose, I just couldn't settle down. Of course," he added with a wicked grin. "When Jake started snoring, it was the final straw…"

I glanced nervously over my shoulder, to see how Jake reacted to this comment, and was relieved when he rolled his eyes. For some unfathomable reason, Jacob didn't seem to mind Leo. I didn't question it, I just felt relieved. We really didn't need any additional conflict on this trip.

Leo and I continued to talk as we ran. He told me how much Grandpa Carlisle's friendship meant to Hal. Apparently, they spoke to each other all the time. For one heart-stopping moment, I thought that Leo was going to start talking about Uncle Jasper's slip. But to my great relief he didn't mention it. Instead, he asked about my family in a way that made me feel fairly confident that he knew nothing about it. I asked what had made him come to visit me in Forks, and he replied casually.

"I thought you might like to meet up."

I glanced at him and he held my gaze for a second. Something in the way he looked at me caught my attention. I hardly knew why, but my dream of him suddenly popped into my mind. I wasn't quite sure what to say, but before I could speak, he glanced away and changed the subject. And I was left wondering if Leo somehow knew about my dream. If he did, he didn't seem to want to discuss it, so I decided to say nothing and let the conversation flow without mentioning it.

We had run about fifteen miles across open ground, when we crossed the scent of caribou. When we got to within a mile of the herd, we dumped our backpacks and carried on after them. Leo took a casual pace. Neither Katherine, nor I, were especially hungry, so by far the most enthusiastic hunter was Jake.

He was the first to reach the herd, but by a stroke of bad luck, he managed to fall awkwardly as he brought down a bull, and caught his flank on an antler. I could see that his flesh was torn and as soon as he finished feeding, he quickly returned to the where we had left the backpacks.

I followed Jake, to see if he needed help. He phased into his human form, to take a proper look at his injury. It wasn't especially deep, just a long scrape across his ribs, but it was still seeping blood. He cursed and started rummaging in his backpack, looking for something to clean it with. I found my water bottle and a cloth, and hurried over to him.

"Why don't you use these?"

"Thanks." He wet the cloth and started dabbing at the blood, twisting around to reach the most awkward spot.

I reached out. "Here… let me."

"Its fine," he snapped irritably, stepping away from me. "I've got it."

Feeling slightly taken aback, I dropped my hand. "Oh… ok."

I didn't know quite how to react, Jacob _never_ snapped at me. I felt a sharp pain in my chest and I took a step away from him. He glanced in my direction and his expression changed from annoyance to guilty frustration.

"I'm sorry. I know you were just trying to help. But I'm ok – really."

"Of course." I nodded, nervously. "I didn't mean to interfere."

"I know." He turned his eyes back to his side, which was already halfway healed, and washed away the last remnants of dry blood. "There, it's done."

He still didn't look particularly pleased and his frown was so deep that I felt really worried.

"Jake, are you sure you're alright?"

Jacob raised his dark eyes to mine and they held a challenge. "Sure, why _wouldn't_ I be?"

His jaw was set in a hard line as he stared me down. His loaded question completely threw me. I was certain that whatever I said, it would be the wrong thing. My mind went blank and I bit my lip, and stood there, feeling stupid. Thankfully, Katherine and Leo suddenly came into view, so I was spared the trouble of having to think of a sensible answer.

Katherine was the first to reach us. "Are you ok, Jacob?"

Her calm presence instantly diffused the tense atmosphere, and Jake sounded more relaxed when he answered her.

"Sure, good as new." He nodded, turning away from me.

She glanced at his side and smiled. "That's lucky. When I saw the antler twisting, I thought it was going to do more damage. I'm glad it didn't puncture anything."

"Yeah, it looked awkward," agreed Leo, jogging up behind her. "I didn't know that wolves hunted by sliding into their prey."

Jake looked slightly embarrassed. "We don't. I slipped on some ice."

We collected our things, ready to get going again. By then the sun was really shining and the air was getting warmer. Jake was fine, but he didn't want to phase until his side had healed completely, so he stayed in human form and we travelled at a slightly slower pace.

I didn't say much as we ran, I was still feeling unsettled by his earlier antagonism. I had previously suspected that there was something wrong, and now I was absolutely sure of it. Objectively speaking, Jake hadn't said anything particularly bad, he had just been slightly off-hand, but it was _so_ uncharacteristic. He just didn't get angry with me for no reason.

But before I had gone too far with this suspicious train of thought, it occurred to me that Jake might have been in more pain than he had wanted to admit. Maybe he was playing down his injury and it was worse than it looked. He was probably worried that I was going to accidentally hurt him by cleaning his wound too roughly. If that was the case, then it was no wonder he jumped away from my touch. When people were in pain, it could make them snappy.

I realised that I was being far too sensitive and instantly felt guilty for being so self-absorbed. I had taken offense when I should have been cutting Jake some slack. He had been hurt, and all I could think about was myself. I was a selfish idiot and my lies had made me paranoid. It was becoming more and more apparent that I needed to tell Jacob the truth, if only to stop me from acting this way.

As the morning wore on, it also became clear that Leo had something on his mind. He didn't try to engage in conversation with anyone. At least he didn't look angry, or upset. He just appeared to be lost in thought. It wasn't until we reached the edge of a hill, which was overgrown with spruce trees, and crossed the scent of grizzly bear, that he suddenly came to life. His eyes lit up and roguish smile played on his lips, as he glanced at Katherine.

"Hey Kathy, do you still hunt bears?"

She stared at him with a decidedly martial look in her eye. "Sure, when I get the chance."

He gave a wide grin, and the challenge in his voice was unmistakable. "Do you think you'll get the chance today?"

I expected her to look irritated, but she just lifted an eyebrow and answered nonchalantly. "Probably; you've never been that fast."

Her answer seemed to come as no surprise to him and he gave a short laugh. "Well, I guess we're about to find out."

"I guess so." She nodded, and I was surprised to catch a note of supressed excitement in her voice, but then she hesitated. "Wait, I don't want to hunt a female, they might have cubs."

I thought that Leo might mock her, but he nodded uncomplainingly. "Sure, whatever you want."

This was the most relaxed that they had been since meeting again, and as I listened to their banter, I remembered Katherine describing how they had always hunted together. Maybe this was the least stressful part of their relationship.

I wasn't about to go bear hunting and neither was Jake, but we were both curious to see what Leo and Katherine were going to do, so we went with them over the hill, following the grizzly's scent. I had a feeling that things were about to get competitive. The trail took us right through the woods and out onto open ground.

We found ourselves overlooking a wide frozen valley, which ran along the foot of a dozen low hills. There was a shallow river running through the valley. And about half a mile away, we could clearly see a large male grizzly, moving between the trees on the opposite side of the river. I threw my backpack onto the ground and sat on top of it.

"I'm going to watch from here," I announced cheerfully, as if I had front row tickets to the theatre.

"I'll stay with Nessie." Jake dropped his backpack next to mine, and I met his eyes with a shy smile. I was pleased to see that his bad mood seemed to have completely disappeared, when he winked. "We can guard the bags."

Leo turned to Katherine. "I guess it's just you and me."

"Only if you can keep up."

"I'll see what I can do." He smiled, pulling off his jacket and starting to unbutton his shirt.

This was a sensible move. Bear claws were terrible for tearing, and jackets were always the first things to go. He kept his t-shirt on, and Katherine followed suit, stripping off a couple of layers, to be left in a tank top. They both ended up in hiking pants, boots and grey tops.

"Hey, you guys match," I joked.

Leo smiled and looked down at Katherine, who was shoving her jacket and shirt into her backpack. She didn't see the change in his expression, but I did.

As he glanced at her, the smile froze on his lips. His eyebrows snapped together and his jaw clenched, leaving a strangely harsh look on his face. For the very first time, I could actually see the dangerous tracker who Katherine had described, and to be honest I was a little afraid.

A moment later, Katherine raised her eyes and caught sight of his face. Unlike me, she didn't seem at all scared. She just threw him a quizzical look and stood up.

"What is it, Leo?" She spoke with more familiarity than I had previously heard her use towards him, and with no hint of defensiveness. "What's wrong?"

The fierce look disappeared and his features softened. He gave her a half smile and glanced away. "We should get going."

She frowned thoughtfully, but didn't press him. "Sure, ok." She pulled out a hairband and tied her hair into a ponytail, then glanced at Jake and me. "I guess we'll see you later."

Katherine looked up at Leo and he nodded, before they both turned away and started jogging down the snowy verge. As they hit the foot of the hill, their speed picked up and I stood up to watch the action. Jake threw me a quick smile.

"This should be interesting…"

I nodded anxiously and fixed my eyes on my friends. Frankly, I thought that this situation had all the makings of a brawl. The competitive edge to this hunt was obvious, and when I saw the way that they were running, I became even more apprehensive.

I knew that Katherine and Leo were fast – I had hunted with both of them – but I hadn't realised how much they had held back their pace for me. Now they were pitted against each other, I realised just what incredible speed they were both capable of. The view from our hillside was fantastic and I finally had an opportunity to see them in full flight.

They moved across the open ground, winding between the trees with a speed and fluidity of movement that I had rarely witnessed before. They often glanced at each other as they ran head to head. It was strange to see how completely synchronised they were, as if they were moving with one mind. I had never seen anything quite like it before.

It must have also made a strong impression on Jake, because he suddenly said. "Katherine never ran that fast in Washington. She must _really _want to beat him."

I started to feel even more worried. I really hoped that this situation wasn't going to end explosively.

It wasn't long before they reached the banks of the river and simultaneously launched themselves across it, without even breaking stride. By this point my heart was in my throat. The poor bear had no idea of what was coming, and it was pretty obvious that they were going to reach it at exactly the same moment.

If I knew one thing, it was that vampires didn't hunt well in groups. Even if they hunted together, when it came to the actual kill, their predatory instinct was far too strong to let them share. I had hoped that one of them would win the race and the other would back off, but it now looked as if a fight between Katherine and Leo was inevitable.

When they closed on the grizzly, although a part of me could hardly bear to look, I was unable to tear my eyes away from the spectacle. The bear had no chance to see what was coming, before they sprung. But what happened next took me wholly by surprise.

Instead of turning on each other, they worked in absolute unison to overpower their prey. Katherine leapt up at its throat, and Leo swept its legs from under it, bringing the unfortunate creature down with a heavy crash. There was no aggression, no snarling, or attempt to fight. Their movements almost seemed choreographed as they delivered death at an astonishing speed. It was all over so quickly, that I was left gasping. They then proceeded to feed without a hint of conflict.

I was caught between feelings of extreme relief and surprise. I had never seen any vampires hunt this way before. It was so unexpected. One minute they had seemed destined for a violent clash and next minute they were giving an exhibition of remarkable teamwork.

That was when it hit me that I had misinterpreted their hunt from the very start. I hadn't understood that beneath their competitive talk, they had _always_ known what they were going to do. They had moved as one from the moment they had left us, until they walked away from the dead bear.

Jake summed up my feelings perfectly when he shook his head in surprise. "Well, I'll be damned…!" He then added with a rueful laugh. "And I thought that I was going to have to go down there and reassemble the pieces."

They didn't bother to bury the carcass; during the winter there would be plenty of animals that would be grateful for the meat. They just left the body, and we picked up the backpacks and hurried down the hill to meet them.

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**A special thanks to last week's reviewers (including my guest reviewer and NessieJake4eva14) and also for the new list additions :)**

**Have a lovely week, thanks for reading,**

**Mad :)**


	45. Leo, one step forward

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

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><p><strong>As always, a massive thank you to my very helpful beta, willowbae :)<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 45.<strong>

**Leo – one step forward**

The bear hunt was definitely a good idea. The bear's blood tasted better than most animals, but more importantly, the hunt broke the ice between Kathy and me. We returned to Nessie and Jake on much better terms.

As we jogged back across the valley, Kathy actually looked happy. This surprised me, but I was really pleased, especially when she glanced up and gave me a small smile.

"That was fun."

I couldn't agree more; it was exactly the way it used to be. We had always had an intuitive connection when we hunted. It had been like that from the very start of our relationship, even when _nothing_ else was going right, and that bond hadn't diminished with time or separation.

I looked down at Katherine and grinned. "You haven't entirely lost it. You can _almost_ keep up with me."

This drew a reluctant laugh from her. "You keep telling yourself that, Leo."

I liked hearing my name on her lips. I smiled as she cautiously lifted her eyes to mine, and held her gaze until she glanced away, looking slightly self-conscious. It was nice being with her like this again. I still couldn't believe that she was prepared to be friendly to me. I must have been the luckiest guy in the world, because I knew perfectly well that I didn't deserve it. But I wasn't complaining!

Nessie and Jake came jogging towards us, carrying the backpacks. Nessie's cheeks were glowing as she burst out enthusiastically.

"Wow! That was _awesome…!_ For a minute, I thought you two were going to have a _massive_ fight!"

Kathy looked a little confused. "Um… ok."

"But, I'm really glad you didn't," she added hastily, handing Kathy her backpack.

I saw Jake trying to fight back a smile, and I couldn't resist saying.

"Maybe you could've refereed us, kid."

Jacob choked and Red looked a slightly abashed. I took my pack from Jake and retrieved my shirt from inside. Katherine had already found hers, and was pulling it on.

I was glad that she was covering herself again. Not because I wouldn't have been perfectly happy to spend every minute of the day gazing at her gorgeous body. But I didn't know if I could handle it right then.

I had been completely unprepared when she removed her shirt before the hunt. I'd deliberately looked away while she was striping off her layers of clothes, I didn't want to make her uncomfortable by staring. But when she'd finished, and was packing away her shirt and jacket, I glanced in her direction.

Kathy was crouching down over her backpack and her face was hidden by thick waves of hair. Her tight tank top showed off her beautiful figure, but the only thing I really noticed were the faint scars on her arms and shoulders. I realised with a sickening jolt that they were bite-marks.

_GODDAMMIT…! _

_How in the hell had she got those? _

For a second I was so angry that I could barely see. It took absolutely everything I had to keep me from exploding there and then. Just knowing that someone had done that to her, filled me with such bitter rage, that I knew without a doubt that if I ever found out who it was, I would track them down and make them pay. I wouldn't care how long it took me.

But somewhere under my fury, lurked a feeling that was infinitely more painful, a terrible sense of guilt for my own failure. Katherine's scars confirmed all my worst fears about our separation; they were the living proof that she had suffered in our time apart, that she had been in danger. This should never have happened. She should never have been left unprotected. When Kathy was under attack, where the hell was I?

I couldn't afford to expose my feelings right then, and I really didn't want to upset her, so I fought to keep my expression calm. I didn't entirely succeed, but it was the best I could manage. Of course, when Kathy raised her head she immediately noticed that something was wrong.

Her reaction was just what I needed to cool off. The way she looked into my eyes, and the steady tone of her voice, helped me to gain mastery over my anger. The red haze subsided and I could breathe again, but there was no way that I could admit what was wrong.

It was funny; I could tell that Katherine's resentment towards me had died down, because even though she had caught me glaring at her, she didn't make a big deal of it. She wasn't even scared. But maybe I shouldn't have been so surprised, she hadn't been afraid of me since our very first weeks together.

The bear hunt took the edge off my anger, and afterwards, when her scars were hidden, I tried to force them to the back of my mind. I really didn't want to spend the whole day brooding. That wouldn't make a very good impression on Kathy.

After the bear hunt I was pleased to notice that the tension between Red and Jake wasn't quite as bad as it had been during the morning. Not that it was completely gone. I could see that things weren't great, especially for Jacob.

When it came to Nessie, it seemed that Jake's emotional autopilot was complete and unquestioning devotion. He just didn't know how to handle the fact that she was lying to his face, so one minute he was pretending like nothing was wrong, and the next he was snapping at her over the slightest thing. I hoped that Nessie would tell him the truth soon, if only to put the poor guy out of his misery.

But however badly things were going for Jake; it seemed that they were looking up for me. Just before we started moving again, we discussed heading straight towards Mount McKinley, so that Kathy could get to Nessie's cousins' home as soon as possible. But Kathy just said that there was 'no real hurry', which was her way of saying that she was happy to travel with us for a little longer.

I didn't say anything. I just played it cool and tried really hard not to grin like an idiot, which was surprisingly difficult, because I was so happy that she wasn't going away.

By the afternoon, we had covered plenty of ground on our journey south, and so we took a break on a rocky hillside. We brushed the snow off several boulders and sat down to enjoy the scenic view. It was still sunny. A few narrow strips of cloud streaked the blue sky and the air was very cold. Kathy sat near me, sparkling in the sunlight, as she gazed out over the snow-covered hills.

"It's beautiful here." She sighed.

I had deliberately avoided talking to her since our hunt. I didn't want her to feel crowded. But since she had been the first to speak, I felt as if it would be ok to engage in a conversation. I kept my tone relaxed.

"Have you been to Alaska before?"

She glanced in my direction. "No, have you?"

"No, this is my first visit. I guess I've never got around to it. I usually go where the trails take me and none of them have ever led here. And if I'm just tracking for food, then I generally stay in California, because it's easier and I like it there."

I didn't add that I was especially attached to all the places where I had hunted with her. But I was pleased when she said.

"I love the forests in California."

I met her eyes questioningly. "Do you think you'll ever go back?"

I hoped she would say 'yes', but she just gave a gentle shrug and turned her face back to the view. "I don't know… maybe someday."

Katherine fell quiet as she gazed out across the wilderness. I had a perfect view of her elegant profile, and I watched her admiringly, while trying to work out what she was thinking. Her expression was hard to read and after a moment, she turned back to me and asked.

"So have you been in the States this whole time?"

"Mostly… There's not really much to tell about my life, nothing changes." I smiled. "But Jake told me that you've been abroad."

"Yeah. I left the States in the sixties, and this is the first time I've been back since then."

"Where did you go?"

She told me about her travels in Asia and her aid work. I knew plenty of vampires who gravitated towards human war zones – _everyone_ knew that they made easy pickings – but Kathy was the first I'd known who had gone to help with the humanitarian relief work. It was just typical of her. I had to ask the most obvious question.

"Weren't you ever tempted?"

I thought she might be offended by the very idea, but she was too honest for that. She just frowned thoughtfully. "Not often. Very occasionally I would be tempted… but I never gave in to it."

I knew perfectly well that she was telling the truth. But I couldn't resist narrowing my eyes and asking suspiciously. "Are you_ sure…?_"

Katherine knew that I was joking, because she rolled her eyes and answered in a weary voice, as if she was humouring a five year old. "Yeah, I'm sure." But a second later she gave an apologetic smile, adding truthfully. "But there was _one_ time when it was a close call."

Nessie and Jake were sitting together on a nearby boulder, idly watching the scenery and not really paying much attention, but this remark caught their interest and they glanced towards us. Nessie looked a little worried. She stared at Katherine with wide eyes and whispered.

"What happened?"

"Don't worry, Nessie. I didn't touch a hair on his head." Kathy reassured her, before adding cryptically. "Though sometimes I _wish_ I could forget his scent."

She registered our curiosity and began to explain. "I was working in Laos and he was brought into the hospital one evening, just a young guy who'd broken his arm in a motorcycle accident. I was on duty that night. I never knew that blood could smell so intoxicating. The perfume filled my mind so that I could hardly see straight. I wasn't in the same room when I caught his scent, but I could see him through the hospital screen doors.

"Those doors probably saved his life. If he'd been in the same room as me, I doubt that I could have resisted. But that tiny barrier gave me a chance to get a hold of myself. I stopped breathing and tore myself away. I still don't know how I managed it." She shook her head, with a mystified expression.

"I'm sure that if I hadn't already been desensitised to the smell of blood, then I wouldn't have been able to. As it was, I could never go back to that hospital. As soon as I got myself out of the building, I went straight home, packed my bags and the left the city."

Nessie looked confused. "But… couldn't you have gone back once he was discharged from the hospital?"

Kathy met her friend's gaze and slowly shook her head. "No. A part of me was too shocked and ashamed to return, but my biggest fear was that I wouldn't be able to stop myself from hunting him down, if I ever caught his scent again. I didn't believe that I had the strength to resist it twice.

"This happened forty years ago, but that scent still haunts me. I'm just thankful that I never crossed it again. Who knows if he's still alive? I just wish that I didn't _still _wonder if he was... You know it's actually a relief to know that someday his mortal life will end and it will be too late for _me _to kill him."

I listened to Kathy's story with real sympathy. It was painful enough to deny your thirst at the best of times, but to resist a singer was practically impossible. Most vampires lived in hope that they would find theirs. But all she could feel was a sense of shame, despite the fact that she had resisted what must have been an almost overwhelming temptation.

I wanted to make her feel better, but I had a feeling that pulling her into a passionate kiss might not be the way to do it, though it would probably take her mind off her memories. Before I could come up with a less drastic solution, Red distracted me with a random comment.

"The hospital must have been worried when you just disappeared."

This seemed a particularly irrelevant statement. I mean, who gave a damn what a bunch of humans thought, forty years ago?

I was surprised when Katherine lowered her eyes and replied remorsefully. "I know…"

My instincts were instantly on the alert. Not even Katherine was _that _conscientious, so it was safe to assume that was something more to this story. Apparently, I wasn't the only one who felt this, because Nessie gave Kathy quick glance and asked in a casual voice.

"Were you _very _sorry to leave?"

"Yes, I had some good friends there. I was really sorry to go…" Kathy trailed off and bit her lip. "And I never saw them again. I felt awful about it. One of them was the best human friend I ever had. I was really sad to leave him."

_Him…?_

My eyes narrowed and I folded my arms over my chest. Katherine continued to describe her best 'friend' to Nessie and didn't notice the change in my expression.

"He was a doctor. We got on well from the very start, and even though I'm sure he knew that I wasn't normal, he never said a word about it. He was never afraid of me, he was always just kind." She added with a shy smile. "It seems strange, but we also had a lot in common."

Nessie nodded appreciatively. "He must have been really nice."

I frowned at this ridiculously naïve comment. _Yeah right!_

What on earth was Red talking about? Doctors were always taking advantage of vulnerable nurses. _Everyone_ knew that. It was the oldest trick in the book, and one that I never would have believed Kathy could fall for. She was usually pretty smart. But here she was, forty years later, still mooning around over this… this... Dr _Love!_

Nessie couldn't have been more wrong in her opinion of him. The guy wasn't _nice_. He was disgusting!

I was already feeling pretty sick of this exasperating story, so it was unlucky that Katherine was really starting to warm to her theme.

"Yeah, he was great," she said enthusiastically. "We talked all the time."

I rolled my eyes and Jake glanced at me with a thoughtful expression. He was probably thinking the same thing as me; that Kathy was a complete idiot to have been so impressed by some sleazy doctor. Nessie carried on asking questions about this medical Casanova, and unfortunately, Katherine continued to answer them.

I had to hear the story of a heroic doctor, hardworking and underpaid; who could hardly go for five minutes without saving somebody's life, but miraculously found the time to talk to Kathy for hours. Jake just listened to the discussion without saying much. I didn't blame him. Couldn't Katherine and Nessie see how _boring_ they were being?

What was wrong with these girls? Nessie listened sympathetically to Kathy's tale and neither of them seemed to understand that it was a _good _thing that Katherine never saw the jerk again.

Even though she was just talking about some pointless human – who, with any luck, was dead by now – there was something about Kathy's story that made me feel surprisingly annoyed. I knew that I couldn't actually be jealous of a human. I hadn't sunk _that_ low. But I wished that her words weren't quite so heartfelt. It was impossible to ignore how much she cared.

So I sat quietly on my boulder for another fifteen minutes, listening to Katherine's reminiscences about their wonderful conversations, without passing a single sarcastic comment. I thought I was handling the whole thing fairly well until Nessie asked.

"Did you get the chance to say goodbye?"

Kathy shook her head, regretfully. "No, I didn't speak to him. I wanted to call… but I had no idea what to say. How could I explain? I knew I had to move on and make a clean break. But I did write him a letter. I didn't want him to think that his friendship wasn't important to me. I hope he got it. I didn't have a forwarding address, so he couldn't write back and tell me that he had…"

As I heard these words, something inside me twisted painfully. I could cope with everything else, but the thought that she had written a letter to this guy, saying goodbye and telling him how much he meant to her, really hurt. When Kathy walked out on me, after travelling together for months, she didn't leave so much as a _note!_

No, she had made it abundantly clear that she didn't give a damn. Our friendship, or more specifically _I_, meant nothing to her. And there wasn't anything that could have highlighted this fact more sharply than her relationship with the noble doctor.

As this humiliating truth sunk in, I was hit by another glaring obvious fact. I suddenly realised that not only _could _I be jealous of a human, but that I actually was. I was completely and crushingly jealous of some weak human male who Katherine hadn't seen for forty years. And it was the final degradation.

On the flight to Alaska, I had suffered furious jealousy when I'd thought that Kathy had found a vampire mate, but this was so much worse. My anger had been replaced with a feeling of worthlessness. She didn't want a vampire at all. I knew that I could have snapped the doctor's neck like a twig, but what good would it have done me? Would it have made Kathy like him less and me more?

No. She had enjoyed _his_ company.

She had missed _him_.

Not me.

We'd had some reasonable times together, but they weren't good enough. Those memories meant something to me, but not to her. Because she wanted something that no vampire could give her, she wanted humanity.

I didn't really want to admit that she might be justified in feeling this way, but somehow I couldn't escape the truth. The doctor probably hadn't been that bad. I couldn't even really justify hating him, because I knew in my heart that he'd been kind to Kathy. He probably deserved her friendship, and I couldn't honestly say the same about myself. And most of all, he was human and I wasn't.

I wondered if she was in love with him, but quickly shied away from the idea. I just couldn't face it. Just the thought that she liked him was bad enough. I was well aware that Kathy didn't love me, but it didn't seem so bad if she didn't love anyone else either.

But if she really loved him, then nothing could reverse that. Vampires didn't change when it came to true love. It wouldn't matter if the guy was dead, Kathy would never stop loving him. And that would be the final proof that there never was, and never would be, any hope for me.

And all the time, Nessie and Katherine kept talking and I had to pretend that their words were of no interest to me. At least I'd had years of experience of hiding my feelings, because I really needed to draw on it. I just kept my expression blank and prayed that they would find something else to talk about soon.

Unfortunately they didn't, and Nessie decided to ask the one question that I really didn't want to know the answer to. She glanced cautiously at Katherine.

"So… did you _like_ him?"

I held my breath, trying not to listen to Kathy's reply, but at the same time, I was absolutely riveted. Katherine looked slightly confused, and I braced myself.

She nodded. "Of course I did…" My heart felt like a lump stone in my chest and all my pathetic hopes shattered before my eyes, but then she added artlessly. "He was my friend."

I almost huffed with exasperation. I couldn't believe that Kathy was being so slow. We all knew she liked him as a _friend_. She'd just spent the last twenty minutes painstakingly explaining the fact! Luckily, Nessie realised that she would have to spell it out to her galactically obtuse friend.

"I mean… you know. Did you _date_ him or anything like that?"

Credit to Red; this time she worded it in a way that even Katherine couldn't misunderstand. I waited for Kathy to try and avoid answering the question, but instead she just looked stunned. I don't know why she was quite so taken aback; it wasn't such an outrageous thing to ask. Pulling herself together, she turned to Nessie.

"No, it was never like that," she said, looking slightly embarrassed. "I mean we were close, but it just wasn't _that_ kind of relationship. Neither of us felt that way. Thank goodness."

There was no question that she was telling the truth. I couldn't believe how relieved I felt. My heart soared and all my shattered hopes quickly rebuilt themselves. She wasn't in love with some stupid human.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Nessie seemed surprised. "I thought that maybe…"

Yeah, she wasn't the only one.

But Katherine interrupted her. "You must be kidding, Nessie." She laughed at her friend's earnest expression and shook her head in disbelief. "I can't think of anything worse. What kind of vampire would date a human? Can you imagine the risk? I wouldn't want to accidentally kill…"

Out of nowhere, Nessie gasped. "_Katherine…!_"

I had been feeling too relieved to be paying much attention, so this interruption didn't make any sense to me. The weirdest thing of all was Kathy's response. Her eyes flew wide and she froze midsentence.

This immediately caught my interest and I watched closely, as she bit her lip and threw me a sideways glance. She only met my gaze for a split-second before looking away in confusion. She then turned to Nessie, who was also staring at me in dismay. I couldn't understand what the hell was wrong with these girls, and why they both looked so mortified. I glanced at Jake, hoping that he could enlighten me, but his countenance was completely unreadable.

I was completely mystified until I saw the apologetic look that Katherine threw Nessie, and I suddenly understood the reason for their discomfort. Nessie's own father had dated a human girl, and the relationship had ended Bella's mortal life. No wonder they were both so embarrassed by Katherine's tactless comment.

For a moment no one said anything. Katherine sat perched on her rock, staring at the ground in miserable silence and I felt bad for her. She hadn't been trying to hurt Nessie's feelings deliberately, and it wasn't her fault what had happened to Bella. No, the blame for that lay entirely at Edward's door.

Anyway, Kathy had a good point; it _would_ be very reckless to date a human. I could never have done it, just look what I did when I got into close proximity with Kathy. I had lost control in about three seconds flat. I guess I was just lucky that no one brought up _that_ little episode!

As the silence continued I decided that it was up to me to say something; after all, it was a mistake that anyone could have made.

"I have to say…" I kept my gaze fixed on Katherine. She jumped at the sound of my voice. Her eyes flew to mine and their expression was so apprehensive that I almost felt guilty. I gave her a reassuring smile and ended. "It sounds like you did the right thing."

"Well, I don't know about that," she said, looking relieved.

I looked into her golden eyes. "I do."

I should know. I specialised in doing the _wrong_ thing.

This small exchange seemed to unfreeze the other two, and they visibly relaxed. But Kathy didn't look away, her beautiful eyes remained fixed on mine, and she returned my smile with a shy one of her own. For a moment it seemed as if she wanted to say something, but she suddenly became aware of her surroundings. Quickly glancing away, she asked in a detached voice.

"So, Leo… you still track?"

I had to smile at this abrupt change of subject, what Kathy lacked in finesse, she made up for in determination. I was glad to accommodate her – anything to improve the tense atmosphere.

I shook my head slowly. "Humans, no." I then added with a wide grin. "Vampires, _yes!_"

She raised her eyebrows in amusement. "I guess some things never change, huh?"

"True." I nodded cheerfully, and somehow stopped myself from adding, _like my undying love for you._

I noticed that Katherine didn't ask why I had stopped feeding on humans, but I wasn't about to raise the subject, I was still trying to keep the mood light and impersonal. Instead, I told her about the four vampires that I'd been tracking on my way up to Forks. Both Kathy and Jake seemed curious to hear about them.

Jake was particularly interested in the possibility of four hostile vampires heading north. He looked relieved when I told him that they had turned east. I said that I would pick up their trail again after leaving Alaska. At this point, Nessie's curiosity got the better of her. Raising her wide eyes to mine, she asked.

"Why _do _you track vampires, Leo?"

"Well…" I looked into her innocent face and faltered. Was she really ready to hear this stuff?

I remembered the time I had spent with her family in New Hampshire, and how carefully they sheltered her from the darker realities of their world. Like the way that Jasper spoke about his military experiences in front of her. She probably had no idea how heavily he censoring his anecdotes. He made his time in the army sound like a scout camp. But I wasn't fooled. The scars on his body, and the look in his eyes, told me everything I needed to know.

So I had the uncomfortable feeling that however much I tried to keep my answers safe and inoffensive, I would somehow end up saying something that would seriously disturb this young girl. I didn't really want to tell her, but I wasn't sure if I was being a little overprotective.

I glanced at the others, in the hope of guidance, and caught Jacob's eye. Its message needed no interpretation. He didn't want me sharing my horror stories with Red. I was more than happy to go along with Jake's wishes, so I shrugged and replied hazily.

"It's complicated…"

Jake gave an approving nod, which Nessie didn't see, and I noticed that even Kathy looked relieved. Only Nessie seemed dissatisfied with my response.

"Oh." She frowned in confusion. "But…"

I hoped that someone else would intervene, and I didn't have long to wait. It was Jake who interrupted her. Maybe he was still feeling irritable about the fact that she hadn't confessed to him yet, because he was slightly more abrupt than he needed to be.

"Come on, Nessie. Let it go," he said impatiently.

She flushed with embarrassment and turned to him. "What do you mean?"

He met her eyes with a frown. "It's obvious that Leo doesn't want to talk about it."

It was clear from these tactless comments that Jake's restraint was wearing more than a little thin. I put it down to stress. But all the same, I wasn't exactly thrilled that he was dragging me into his lovers' quarrel. I wanted to keep as far out of this one as possible. So I just pulled a blank face and kept my mouth shut.

I needn't have bothered, Nessie wasn't paying any attention to me anyway; she was too busy glaring defensively at Jacob.

"He didn't mind talking about tracking with Katherine."

"That's different…" Jake answered evasively.

If Jacob was going to get away with giving his girlfriend an answer that was _that_ vague, then he'd have to be the first guy in the history of mankind to do so.

Red proved my point.

"_How?_" She demanded, and glanced from Kathy to me, trying to understand what Jake was getting at.

Jake gave in to pressure and attempted to explain himself. "Ok… for a start, Katherine's been surviving on her own, as a vampire, for how many decades now? She's been around and she's more experienced than you. Besides which, she's actually travelled with Leo for months, and understands his lifestyle."

I didn't think much of Jacob's youth psychology. I mean what teenager wants to be told that they are young and naïve, especially when they are being compared with a friend? Two spots of colour burned high on Nessie's cheekbones as she shot him a resentful glare.

"I'm not a _baby_, Jacob," she said, lowering her eyes in humiliation.

He gave her a long look and then spoke more evenly. "I never said that you were." She bit her lip and didn't look up, so he added. "I'm only trying to protect you, honey."

"Fine," snapped Nessie, without a hint of gratitude. "_Thanks_."

She looked unmistakeably sulky, which was unfortunate, since she was trying to claim that she wasn't an immature kid. And although Jake's handling of the situation left a lot to be desired, I still felt really sorry for him. Just in the short time that I'd spent with them, it had become apparent to me that he _always_ had to be the adult in their relationship.

Katherine smiled kindly at Nessie, and saved us from what would have been a very awkward silence.

"Don't worry, you're not missing much. Why do you think I had to learn how to sleep? It was the only way to get a break from Leo and his tracking."

I appreciated what she was trying to do, so I followed her example and added in a light tone. "Personally, I think sleep is overrated." I met Kathy's eyes and grinned. "I don't know what _some _people see in it."

She threw me a superior smile. "That's because your mind is like the proverbial blank page, Leo. So you don't actually _need_ to clear your head."

Nessie gave a small smile and I knew that we were on the right track, so I said in a smug voice. "There are plenty of people who spend years trying to attain this blank state. They'd call it being '_spiritually advanced_.'" Katherine just rolled her eyes and so I added provokingly. "I could always give you some pointers, Kathy; after all, it was _me_ who taught you how to sleep in the first place."

She refused to take the bait and flashed me an innocent look from under her dark lashes. "That's true. Listening to your constant bragging really helped me switch off."

"I'll have you know, all those stories were true." I laughed as she raised her eyebrows. "Except the one about vanquishing the Green Goblin, I kind of borrowed that from Spiderman."

"What about your fling with Catwoman?"

"No, that really happened."

"I was right, some things never change." She shook her head and gave me an unexpectedly friendly smile.

This made me feel totally elated. My secret hope was that Kathy would forgive me for our last big row, and we could become friends again. I knew that the whole romance thing wasn't going to happen, but I did think that a possible outcome of our reunion was that we might stay in touch. I would prefer to see her occasionally, as a friend, than face the desolation of a lifetime's separation.

Just being with her like this made me feel so happy that it almost scared me. Kathy was still the only person who could make me feel complete, and I had to wonder how I would live without her if she went away again? What would I do if she didn't even want to be friends?

Well, I would have to make damn sure that she _did_ want to see me again. I wasn't going to mess it up again. This was my second chance. Kathy had agreed to travel with us for a few extra days and I was going to use that time to prove that I was someone she could trust.

When we finally started running again, neither Nessie, nor Jake, seemed to be in a very forthcoming mood. Jake's side had fully healed and so he phased into wolf form, which meant that he couldn't talk, and Nessie was completely silent, lost in thought. On the other hand, Katherine seemed to be feeling quite sociable, and since I was the only other person who was prepared to speak, she ran alongside me.

I couldn't believe how quickly she had thawed. It was really nice. We chatted about what we'd been doing in our time apart, and even talked about our time together. I was surprised to discover that Katherine had plenty of good memories of those months, as she cheerfully recalled our travels. She remembered events that I hadn't thought of in years.

When I looked back on our travels, more often than not, I would think of the sad or guilt-inducing episodes. But Katherine talked about our happier times. A few of her stories reminded me of the dumb things that I'd said or done, but she never made any reference to the really bad stuff. She was too nice for that.

I was grateful, but it did make me feel a little guilty when I thought about what she _could_ have chosen to discuss. I tried not to dwell on it though. Instead I tried to concentrate on the fact that at least she was smiling now. She wasn't sad, or bitter, and her eyes were shining as she teased me about the time I misjudged a leap and went over a cliff.

"You were really upset, because you tore your shirt," she joked.

"I loved that shirt." I tried to justify myself. "It was a _classic._"

"Hmmm… if you say so," she replied sceptically, raising her beautiful eyebrows and throwing me such a playful look that my thoughts were thrown into chaos.

It was lucky that I couldn't decide whether I should pin her against a tree in a fierce kiss, or just cut to the chase and propose marriage, because in the time it took me to choose which was the better option, I came to my senses and realised that they were both equally insane. Several minutes passed before I was capable of rational thought, by which time Kathy had changed the subject. And even then, all I could muster were a few nods and mumbles.

It was disconcerting to know how powerfully she still affected me. Everything about her drew me in. The way she smiled, the way she talked, her unbelievable scent, her very _soul_, called to me. It wasn't her fault, but I didn't like feeling so out of control. To be honest, it scared the hell out of me. Especially since I had no idea what was going to happen when this trip was over.

I tried putting my worries out of my mind. I didn't want to let them spoil our time together. Let's face it; I wasn't going to charm Kathy by exposing all my emotional hang-ups. So I buried my neuroses and spent a really great afternoon running alongside the most amazing girl in the world.

By the time we stopped to make camp, Katherine and I had spent several hours in friendly conversation. It was a shame that the same couldn't be said for Jake and Red. As the day wore on, the atmosphere between them seemed to have become progressively more strained.

Nessie looked tense and – dare I say it – guilty, and Jacob just looked pissed off. It was obvious that he wasn't going to hold out for much longer. If Nessie didn't confess soon, I was pretty sure that Jake would take matters into his own hands.

I could predict an unpleasant scene. It was quite nice to know that, for once, it wouldn't be between Kathy and me. I only hoped that when the accusations started flying, they wouldn't sour my improved relations with Katherine. I knew that I was taking a selfish attitude, but I only had one shot with her and couldn't afford any screw-ups. Whatever happened I was going to stay out of their arguments.

When we stopped to make camp that evening, I was glad to notice that Kathy's presence seemed to have a calming effect on Nessie. I hoped she would use her positive influence to stop Red from flying off the handle with Jake.

It was only when I considered this idea, that it occurred to me what an unusual vampire Katherine actually was. It wasn't just her lifestyle, it was her. Most vampires had their behaviour and characteristics completely fixed when they transformed, but Katherine hadn't been frozen like that. She was open to change and I could see that she had matured in our time apart. She was fundamentally the same person, but she had more depth, she was wiser.

She was just that bit _more_ out of my league.

As I watched her across the campfire, I couldn't help wondering if just _maybe_ there was still a chance that we could be friends. I knew it was a longshot, but I couldn't help hoping.

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Just to say a big thanks to everyone who reviewed this story last week, or added it to their lists :) And a quick extra thanks to NessieJake4eva14 because I can't PM you.**

**Thanks for reading, have a lovely week, Mad :)**

**p.s. I finally managed to post the next chapter of _The Black Pirate_ yesterday, which can be found via my profile page.**


	46. Nessie, trust

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

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><p><strong>Thank you to willowbae, the best beta ever :)<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 46.<strong>

**Nessie – trust**

That was it, I couldn't take it anymore.

After another horrible night, I'd absolutely had enough. I couldn't spend one more day lying to Jacob. If I didn't tell him the truth, I was going to go out of my mind with guilt.

I was going to do it. I was going to tell him what Uncle Jasper had done.

I just needed to get Jacob alone for a moment to make my confession. All that was left was to find that moment.

We continued travelling south in the morning. Katherine and Leo chatted to each other during the journey, but Jake stayed in wolf form and kept himself to himself. I wasn't much better, I hardly spoke a word. All my thoughts were focused on my pending confession. It must have been obvious to the others that something was wrong, but they were too tactful to comment.

We didn't make camp until the mid-afternoon, when we came across a sheltered clearing in the woods. It lay at the foot of some low hills and, after taking a quick look around, we agreed to stop there for the night. When Katherine and Leo tossed their backpacks onto the ground, I realised that my chance to speak to Jake had finally come. As soon as he had phased into his human form, I quietly approached him.

"Jacob, would you like to go for a walk?"

He nodded, but his expression gave nothing away. "Sure. Which way do you want to go?"

"Um…" I glanced around and then pointed towards the hills. "How about that way?"

"Fine."

We left our backpacks on the ground and started towards the trees. As we passed Leo, he glanced up.

"Take your time. Don't worry about us. Kathy can protect me if anything hostile comes this way."

Katherine just rolled her eyes and muttered. "I'd just let them have you..."

She then turned and gave me a reassuring smile. I was unbelievably nervous, but this tiny piece of encouragement did help me to steel myself for the unpleasant task ahead. After all, if Katherine could survive living as a vampire for half a century, then surely I could survive having a difficult conversation with Jacob.

Leaving the others behind, we wound our way through the trees and over the hills, towards a more secluded location. Neither of us spoke. Jacob didn't ask me why I had suggested the walk, but it was safe to assume that he knew I wanted to speak to him privately.

We walked in single file with me in front. Every now and then, I would sneak a look at Jake over my shoulder. He was always frowning, seemingly lost in thought. He never once returned my gaze, and I guessed, by the way his jaw was clenched, that he was feeling worried.

I suppose that this was no surprise. Jake wasn't an idiot. He knew that something was seriously wrong; he'd known it for days. It had become painfully obvious, since his arrival in Alaska, just how much the situation had been stressing him out.

It was strange, but this fact actually made my confession seem a little easier; at least I could put an end to Jacob's anxious uncertainty. He would probably be angry, but I hoped that hearing the truth might come as some kind of relief to him. Jake never seemed to be scared of cold, hard realities, and at least now he would have a tangible problem to address.

Sometimes I had the strong feeling, that the only cowardly person I knew was me. Everyone else seemed so fearless, but most of the time I just felt scared, scared of the past, and even more afraid of the future. No wonder Jacob thought I was a baby.

He was right, I was.

We walked for several miles, passing over the hills and leaving the woods behind us. We reached the edge of a wide plain and finally stopped walking. There was no shelter from the biting wind, which swept across the landscape in icy blasts, but my palms still felt hot and sweaty. My moment of truth had arrived and I didn't feel remotely prepared.

Jake stood next to me, staring morosely across the frozen scenery. He hardly seemed aware of my presence until I cleared my throat. At this point he finally glanced in my direction. I must have looked as worried as I felt, because he frowned and turned to me with a sober expression.

"Nessie, are you ok?"

I raised my fearful eyes to his. My throat was dry and my knees felt as if they were about to buckle. I opened my mouth to speak, but I couldn't seem to make any sound come out. My gift would have come in handy at a moment like this, but I felt too overwrought to control it properly. I needed to be cautious, and the only way I could do that was by speaking.

Jacob towered above me, his eyes never leaving my face, as he waited for me to say something. When I failed to do so, he broke the silence.

"I'm not a monster, Nessie." He sounded reproachful. "Have I _ever _given you reason to be afraid of me?"

This question caught me off-guard. I finally found my voice and protested with a gasp. "No… of course not!" The idea was outrageous.

"Then why are you looking at me that way?" He asked quietly.

This was a very good question and I tried to give a truthful answer. "I'm not afraid of _you_ Jacob. I could _never _be afraid of you." I stared into his dark eyes. "It's just, I need to tell you something and I'm worried that it's going to upset you."

"Alright." He paused for a second. "What is it?"

I tried to keep the wobble out of my voice. "Um… I should have said something before, but I didn't know how..."

I watched him carefully, trying to work out what he was thinking, but his expression was closed, so I just took a deep breath and made the shameful confession.

"Uncle Jasper broke the treaty… he… he… _killed_ a human."

I wanted to look away, but I couldn't. My eyes remained locked on Jacob's face as I waited for a response. He didn't say anything; his expression was still completely unreadable. For a second, I wondered if he had heard me at all, but then he nodded calmly.

"Ok."

Ok…? What did he mean, _ok?_

"Don't you _mind…?_" I stuttered. I was confused by his total lack of reaction.

Jacob narrowed his eyes, and answered me in a deceptively cool voice. "What makes you think that?"

I had the distinct feeling that I was walking on very thin ice, and I felt extremely nervous as I fumbled for a reply. "Um… you don't seem very upset."

He gave a humourless smile. "That's because I already know."

This statement hit me like a thunderbolt.

"_What!_" I stared at him disbelief. "Jake, are you _serious?_"

His expression became stony. "Yes, I am."

I couldn't believe it, how was this possible? Jacob already _knew_. I had to close my eyes to stop my head spinning, for a moment I actually thought that I was going to faint. Jake took a swift step towards me and caught hold of my upper arms.

"Nessie!" His voice yanked me back to myself, and my eyes flew open.

"How…?" I gasped, searching his face. "_How_ did you know?"

He kept a firm hold on me and answered slowly. "Leo told me."

"_Leo?_ But… I don't understand…" I stared at him in hopeless confusion.

"He came to Forks, to see you. His brother told him what Jasper had done and Leo was worried about you. When he couldn't find you, he came looking for me at the garage and he told me _everything_."

Jacob's eyes never left my face. I could hear the anger seeping in his voice. "He assumed that you had said something to me about Jasper, after all, Carlisle had told his brother what had happened. Leo had no idea that it was a big secret." He glared down at me, adding bitterly. "It hadn't occurred to him that you would have lied to _me_ about it."

"Jake… I…"

He ignored me and glanced away. "It's ironic really. When I think of all the energy I put into hating the guy before I met him, but he was the only person who told me the truth. He wasn't even a jerk about it." Jacob's mouth twisted into a cynical smile and he shook his head. "He actually tried to make me feel better about what you'd done."

Hearing the pain in his voice filled me with overwhelming remorse. "Jake… I'm sorry… I'm so, so sorry…"

He turned back to me and spoke in a hard tone. "Do you know how it made me feel, to hear it from _him?_"

"No… I…"

"_Dammit_, Nessie. I haven't come that close to losing control in _years._"

I had no idea of what to say to make things right. I had thought that this confession was going to be bad, but it was already so much worse than I'd been expecting. Jacob was looking at me with such an expression of betrayal, and worst of all, I knew that I deserved it.

My tone became pleading. "I'm sorry..." I wanted to show him how sorry I really was, but I didn't think that he was in the right frame of mind to be sent any messages. "Jake, I'm…"

His grip tightening on my arms. "Why didn't you come to me?" He demanded. "Why didn't you tell _me_ the truth?"

"You must know why." Did Jake actually think that I _wanted_ it this way? "I wanted to tell you Jake, I really did… but I couldn't, because of the treaty."

"No." Jake shook his head in frustration. "There was never a need for you to hide this from me. You know that I would have done everything in my power to protect you from any fallout."

"I promised my family that I wouldn't say anything."

I felt very disloyal for telling him this, but he needed to know the truth. As it was, he didn't seem remotely surprised.

"That's what Leo thought. But what did you think I was going to do?"

This question left me floundering. "I don't know… I wasn't sure that you would do anything."

"Then why the hell did you agree to lie to me…?" He sounded completely exasperated and gave me a small shake.

"I didn't want to burden you, Jake. You have enough things to worry about."

This reply left Jacob absolutely speechless, and for a moment, he looked as if he was battling to control his feelings. But when he finally answered, his tone was steady, though his expression was very grave.

"It wasn't your job to shoulder this responsibility, Nessie. It was _my_ job. I'm the alpha."

I knew that negotiating the treaty was between Grandpa Carlisle and Jacob, but this was about something else. It was about divided loyalties. I wanted Jake to understand why I had agreed to do what my family had asked of me.

"I didn't want to force you into choosing between me and the pack. I wanted to protect you."

"There's no way that the pack would have tried to make me choose. They know how I feel about you; they wouldn't have made a thing of it. They wouldn't have minded. You didn't need to protect me from the truth. You've hurt me much more by lying to me, Nessie. You've hurt us both."

This accusation really stung. I knew that my lies had wounded him; I knew that I had done the wrong thing, but I still wanted to defend myself.

"How do you know?" I cried. "Just because you can tell the pack what to do, doesn't mean you can tell them what to _think_."

Jake wasn't expecting this sudden attack and he instantly went on the defensive. "What's that supposed to mean?"

I answered him with slow deliberation. "Just because you've imprinted on a half-vampire, doesn't mean that they have to _like_ it."

It was strange; Jacob looked far more hurt than I would have, if he had said the same thing to me. He probably hadn't expected me to mention the whole 'you imprinted on a hybrid' thing. It was a bit of a taboo subject between us. We didn't speak about it, if we could possibly help it. Unsurprisingly, Jake tried to avoid the issue with a denial.

"The pack _does _like you, Nessie."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not just talking about the younger ones. They're adolescent boys, they'd like any girl with a pulse – and even _I _have one of those. No, I'm talking about the people who really count; the older guys, and their wives and families… and the elders."

He lowered his brow. "You're wrong. They like you too." I could hear how hard he was fighting to stay calm.

"Oh, wake up, Jacob!" I retorted. "They like _you_, so they're prepared to tolerate me. There's a big difference. If they had the choice, not one of them would want you to throw yourself away on me."

"Stop it, Nessie…"

There was a warning note in his voice, but I didn't care. He needed to understand why I hadn't been able to confide in him, why I had been too ashamed to tell him the truth.

"They might not feel so friendly once they hear that the treaty has been broken. You don't know what it's like for me, your family are saintly protectors and mine are murderers…"

"_That's enough!_" Jake barked so loudly that I jumped. His hands tightened on my arms as he leaned in, speaking through clenched teeth. "Do you have _any _idea of what you do to me, when you talk this way? If we don't stick together there's no hope for us. None at all. Don't you understand that?"

I stared into his fierce black eyes, and for the very first time I really did understand what he was trying to tell me. We were always going to be under enormous pressure from the outside world. It was an inescapable truth about our relationship. There would be times when that pressure would feel completely crushing, and the only way we could survive it would be to hold a united front.

Without looking away, Jacob took a couple of deep breaths to calm himself. I didn't try to move, and after a few moments, I felt his muscles relax. He loosened his hold on my arms, and his expression became regretful.

"I've fought for you since day one, Nessie. And I'll carry on fighting for you forever, but I can't do it alone. You need to fight too." He gently lifted his hand to my cheek. "You have to try…"

I could feel how miserable I had made him. The unhappiness was rolling off him in waves.

"I will…" My eyes filled with tears and I clutched his hand. "Oh, Jake. I'm so sorry."

"I know you are, sweetheart," he said understandingly, brushing my hair away from my brow. "Just don't lie to me again, ok."

I wept wretchedly. "I won't, Jake. I promise…"

"_Don't…_" he said sharply, pulling his hand away. "Don't _promise_ me."

What was he saying? I searched his face in panic. "Don't… don't you forgive me?"

"I do forgive you," he assured me, looking miserably tense. "And I love you more than you can ever know." He then shook his head and added unhappily. "But you promised me before, remember?"

Yes, I was ashamed to admit that I _did_ remember. I had lied to Jacob and then vowed that I would never do it again. I had broken that promise. The implications of his words hit me, and I stared at him in shocked disbelief.

"You don't trust me anymore?"

"I really, really want to Nessie." He sounded anguished. "You have no idea how much I wish I could. But I can't. I love you, honey. But right now, there isn't a promise you can make that I can believe."

I felt as if all the breath had been knocked out of me, and a part of me instantly wanted to dissolve into tears, but a larger part was too deeply ashamed to do anything. My throat felt constricted, I swallowed slowly and whispered.

"What can I do?"

"You don't have to make me promises, Nessie. Just don't tell me anymore lies… _please_…"

I could hear the weight of sadness in Jake's voice. I let my eyes fall and took a step back; nodding in wordless agreement, as I finally understood what I had cost myself. I had Jacob's love, but I had completely lost his trust. He wanted to believe in me, but he couldn't, because I had lied to him once too often.

I'm not sure that I had ever felt such overpowering regret as I did at that moment; to see how badly I had hurt Jake, and all the damage that I had done to our relationship, and to know that I only had myself to blame. It would have been so easy to point fingers and say that it was everyone else's fault, but no one had forced me; I had agreed to everything, I had betrayed Jacob, of my own free will.

It was no wonder that Jake couldn't trust me anymore. It was a miracle that he still loved me. I then reminded myself that he had no choice in the matter. He had imprinted on me, he _had_ to love me. Somehow this made me feel worse than anything else. Jacob's hands were tied, he was locked into a relationship with me, but instead of making his life easier, I had made it as difficult as possible. I had made him miserable.

I wished I could say something to make him believe that I would never, ever deceive him again, but there was nothing I could say to make things right. It was just going to be a matter of time. The only way to regain his trust would be to earn it, and had no idea of how long that would take, or if it was even possible.

There were some things which, once broken, could never truly be mended. Perhaps Jacob's faith in me was one of those things. Whatever the case, I knew that it wasn't going to happen overnight. I had a feeling that if it happened at all, it would be _years _before he believed in me again.

I stared mutely at the ground, as the tears welled up in my eyes and spilled down my cheeks. Jake's quiet voice broke into my thoughts.

"Don't cry, Nessie…" I looked up to find him still watching me. He shook his head despairingly. "I can't take it right now."

It was obvious that Jacob was really struggling to handle the situation, so I hastily brushed away the salty water. "I'm sorry."

As I fought to hold back the tears, I cursed myself inwardly. Could I make things any worse? Jake was already feeling terrible; did he really need me turning on the waterworks? We stood in silence for a minute. I kept my eyes firmly on the ground, putting all my effort into not crying. Jake eventually gave a weary sigh and took a step away from me.

"Are you ready to go back to camp?"

I glanced up at him gingerly. My throat was tight with unshed tears. "Um… sure."

"Ok." He nodded, adding quietly. "It's too late to leave Denali right now, but I'm going home tomorrow, Nessie. I'd like you to come with me..."

"Yes," I replied hastily. "Of course I will."

I was relieved that Jacob even wanted me to leave with him, but it made me feel terrible to hear the uncertainty in his voice, as if he half expected a refusal. It was yet another sign that I had seriously damaged his confidence in me. It was fortunate that Jake had already turned away from me, because he missed seeing the fresh batch of tears, welling in my eyes.

I trailed after him as he headed back towards the camp. My heart sank as I pictured telling Katherine and Leo that we were leaving early. They would both know that Jake was upset with me, and I would have to spend a humiliating evening pretending that nothing was as terrible as it seemed.

My attempts to stop crying were only moderately successful, but since Jake was walking a few steps ahead, it didn't really matter. He wasn't looking at me anyway. As I trudged along, the events of the last few days kept going through in my mind, and when I remembered that Jake had known that I was lying to his face, I felt more deeply mortified than ever. What must he have thought of me? He must have been so disgusted…

The tears continued to gather only to be brushed away by my shaking hand. At least they had stopped falling by the time we arrived back at the camp. Jake didn't say a word to me the whole way back, he wasn't offhand, just extremely withdrawn.

When we finally reached the campsite and stepped out of the trees, I looked across the clearing and caught sight of Katherine sitting on the ground. She was resting against a fallen tree trunk, with her elbows propped on her knees, staring at the ground. Her backpack was lying at her feet, with only a few items unpacked, and her tent was not yet pitched.

Katherine threw a brief glance in our direction. She must have guessed how awful our discussion had been, because her expression was grave.

"Hey."

"Hi," I greeted her in a low voice.

Jake gave her a quick nod, before walking over to his backpack. He wasn't going to manage any kind of conversation. He had retreated into 'silent male' mode. I hoped that Leo would be able to get him talking; I knew that I was the last person who would be able to do so.

I thought it would be best to give Jake some space, so I ambled away from him, towards my own backpack, which was resting near Katherine. As I approached her, I noticed that Leo was absent. I assumed that he was making a circuit of the campsite.

Leo was generally working within a defensive strategy, just as Uncle Jasper did. It seemed that their military habits were deeply ingrained. They were usually expecting to be attacked. This didn't exactly create the most relaxed atmosphere for everyone else, but because I was used to this behaviour, I tried not to let it rattle me. I didn't want to become even more paranoid than the werewolf attack had already made me.

Once I reached my backpack, I pulled out my tent and started to pitch it on the best piece of ground that I could find. In spite of the rock hard earth, it didn't take me long, and when I had finished, I stood up and looked at Katherine. She was still sitting quietly, with her eyes fixed on the ground. She hadn't moved an inch. I drew a little closer and broke the silence, saying in a slightly embarrassed voice.

"Um… we've decided to head home tomorrow…"

She quickly glanced up and scanned my face, probably trying to decipher what had happened between Jake and me. Whatever she thought, her expression gave nothing away, as she answered.

"Fine, I'll head south too, and carry on down to your cousins' home."

I was surprised, but relieved, by this easy agreement, and replied gratefully. "Sure… ok."

Katherine gave a slight nod, before lowering her eyes and falling back into silent contemplation. I sat down on the dead tree trunk, feeling extremely thankful that she didn't expect me to discuss our change of plans.

Jake didn't trouble to put up his tent. It was a pretty safe assumption that he planned to sleep in wolf form that night. He wasn't in the mood to talk, and it would be the surest way to avoid speaking to anyone. After he finished checking through his backpack, he started to gather fallen branches to build a fire.

As Jake added the final pieces of wood to the pile, it suddenly occurred to me that Leo still hadn't returned. Feeling slightly perplexed, I glanced around and said to no one in particular.

"Leo's taking a long time… I wonder what's keeping him."

It was Katherine who answered in a flat voice. "He said to tell you both 'goodbye.'" She didn't bother to look up.

Jake's head shot round, and I turned to her in confusion. "What do you mean…?"

She refused to look at me. "Leo left us. He's gone."

It took a second or two for me to make sense of her words.

"_What!_" I finally managed to gasp. "You can't be serious… he never said he was leaving." I was absolutely stunned. "Why didn't he wait to say 'goodbye'?"

Jake appeared at my side, and he stared down at Katherine with a searching expression. He sounded very grim as he questioned her.

"What happened? Why did he leave?"

She finally looked up and met his eyes with a defensive glare. "Because I _told_ him to."

"What!" I stared at her in disbelief. "_Why?_ Why would you do that?"

I had thought that Katherine had been getting on well with Leo. I had seen them chatting pleasantly and reminiscing about the past. They had both looked happy. What on earth had Katherine been thinking? Jake wasn't listening to me, his eyes were still locked on hers and his frown deepened.

"What did he do to you? Did he hurt you?"

My eyes flew wide at these questions, what was Jacob implying? Katherine's jaw clenched and she rose to her feet, pulling herself up to her full height without breaking eye contact. She wore an uncharacteristically fierce expression, and I could hear the suppressed anger in her voice.

"He did _nothing_ to me."

Jake was not going to be deterred by her hostility. He looked very serious as he stared her down. "So why did you tell him to go?"

"Does it matter?"

"It does if he crossed a line."

She searched his face for a moment, before turning away with a humourless smile. "You don't have to worry. He crossed no line. We had a disagreement, not a fight. So there's really nothing more to say."

"Wait a second." Jacob was not going to be put off so easily. "Leo was travelling with all of us, wasn't he? Don't you think we have a right to know what happened?"

Katherine was quiet for a second. She turned back with a sigh. "Alright, what do you want to know?"

He watched her for a second and asked slowly. "Are you ok?"

"Yes."

Jake still seemed troubled. "How about Leo, is he ok?"

"Are you _serious?_" She raised her eyebrows incredulously. "_Nothing_ touches that guy. He's always ok."

"Yeah, but…"

"Come on, Jake…" Her tone became pleading. "What do you want me to say? I'm fine. Leo's fine. We had an argument and he left, but I don't really want to talk about it right now." A note of desperation crept into her voice. "To be honest, I don't think I'll _ever_ want to talk about it. So _please_, can't you just let it go?"

For a moment Jacob looked as if he might continue with his inquisition – he was an alpha, he was used to taking on the responsibility of other people's problems – but maybe his argument with me had already drained him enough for one day, because he gave a shrug of resignation.

"Alright, fine. As long as you're both ok, I guess it's not the end of the world. Leo's just leaving a day earlier than the rest of us." He threw Katherine one last glance before walking away. "With your history, I guess it was inevitable…"

Jacob missed her reaction, but I saw the look of pain that shot across her face. The expression was gone in a split second, and before I could say anything, Katherine had turned away.

When the sun finally set, Jake lit the fire and we sat around the flames in silence. No one wanted to speak, and once the wood had burned down to its last dying embers, we all settled down for the night as far away from each other as possible. Jacob phased into wolf form, I buried myself in my tent, and Katherine just sat on the frozen ground, leaning against a tree and staring into nothingness.

I was awake for hours, the tears flowed for some time, but once they had dried up, my parched eyes just burned instead. Shame and remorse twisted inside me, as I thought of all the terrible things that I had done to Jacob. I also thought about Katherine and Leo, and my heart felt like a lump of stone in my chest.

It seemed as if everything was falling apart and there was nothing that any of us could do about it.

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**When Jacob says that Nessie has broken a promise not to lie to him, he is referring to a promise she made in chapter 7 of 'Nessie and Jake, Phases'.**

**A quick thank you to everyone who reviewed last week, or added this story to their lists (including Joanna, who I couldn't PM) I really appreciated it :) **

**Thanks for reading, have a really nice week,**

**Mad :)**

**p.s. I was asked a few questions last week, about the Leo/Hal/Katherine timeline. And I thought that I would post my reply here too, in case anyone else was interested. **

**I'll include any helpful chapter numbers and a bit of additional info, so here goes…**

**Ramon, the leader of the Western Army, turned Hal and Dominica and a number of other vampires. He made Dominica his mate and Hal his strategist. In 1938, at her instigation, he turned Leo (chapter 6). **

**Leo lived in the army coven for a number of years. Leo and Dominica had a casual affair, and he was on good terms with Ramon and the vegetarian Hal. When Dominica and one of her lovers murdered Ramon, the Western Army fell into temporary chaos. Because of the vicious infighting, Leo took Hal and Dominica under his protection. **

**Brandon and his second in command, John, arrived and seized control of the Western Army. Brandon and Dominica fell in love, and Leo happily relinquished responsibility of her to her new mate. Hal wanted a quiet life, and Leo craved independence, so it was a timely moment for them to leave the Western Army. They both went their separate ways. **

**Leo travelled on his own for years, but he still kept on good terms with his Californian friends, and saw them from time to time. He didn't encounter Katherine until 1968, on an anti-war demonstration. He spotted her in the crowd, and she noticed him too. She was not his singer, though he did like her scent, because it reminded him of the sea. **

**Later on that day the demonstration turned ugly, and Leo stepped in when Katherine was being arrested. He knocked out the cop who was manhandling her, and ordered her to run, which she did! It was that event which inspired Leo to make the 'contribution to the peace movement' (feeding on policemen) that he told Nessie about (chapter 10).**

**Anyway after that, Leo kept track of Katherine for weeks. She did not know she was being followed, but she did think about him often, and recognised him when she saw him again (chapter 38). He turned her on their second meeting. **

**They stayed together for a while, when she was a newborn.**

**After Katherine and Leo separated, she went abroad, and he stayed in the states. Leo was very angry and bitter for a number of years, and although he couldn't stand feeding on humans, he tracked vampires with a vengeance. In the early 70s, Hal quietly intervened and used his influence to curb Leo's killing spree (chapter 23). They ended up staying together.**

**Hal and Katherine never actually met, but they know of each other, from Leo's conversations. **


	47. Leo, the promise

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

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><p><strong>Thank you to my beta, willowbae, for all her help and for her loyalty to Leo ;)<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 47.<strong>

**Leo – the promise**

I came to a standstill on the crest of a hill. It was close to sunset. I'd been running for some time, but I hadn't noticed a single thing about the terrain. I'd been travelling purely on instinct. I knew that I was heading east, but that was about all. Once I took the time to look around me, I realised that the landscape was more barren and mountainous than where I'd left Kathy.

As soon as I thought of her, a stabbing pain shot through my chest; one so strong that it took my breath away. If I'd been a human, I would have sworn that I was having a heart attack. But I wasn't, so I knew that this wouldn't kill me, however much I wished it would.

What the hell had I done?

It had all been going so well. How had I managed to screw up _so_ spectacularly? I guess I'd never been one to do anything by halves, but I was under no illusions about what I'd just cost myself.

That was it.

That was my one chance with Katherine, and I had completely blown it.

After drawing several deep breaths, the pain subsided and I took a moment to assess my situation. I was still alive – well kind of – and I was already miles away from Kathy, and the confusion and anger, which had been buzzing in my head for the last few hours, had faded.

It turned out that this wasn't a good thing, because those feelings were replaced by cool reason. Reason that told me that I had just made a _terrible _mistake, one of the worst of my life – the others being turning Kathy in the first place, and then driving her away in the second.

I threw my backpack onto the ground and stood for a long moment, with my hands resting on my temples, trying to work out how it had all gone so unbelievably wrong.

When Nessie asked Jake to go for a walk with her, Kathy and I were getting on fine. I assumed that Red was finally going to tell Jacob the truth. She looked so nervous that I couldn't believe that she had any other intention. I was relieved that she was going to get it over with; the poor guy wasn't going to hold out for much longer.

They disappeared through the trees, towards the hills, and Katherine and I were left on our own. Kathy didn't seem concerned by the prospect of being alone with me. Not that she had anything to worry about – I wasn't about to jump her – but it was nice to know that being with me didn't freak her out.

She just ambled around, unpacking and sorting her stuff at an easy pace. I sat nearby, on a dead tree truck, with my backpack lying idly at my feet. Just watching her made me feel relaxed. I couldn't be bothered to unpack my stuff or pitch my tent. It looked like another clear night and I thought that I would spend it outside.

Kathy didn't pass comment on Nessie's desire for a private conversation with Jake, but I noticed the thoughtful look on her face when Nessie made the request. I had a feeling that she knew more than she was letting on. I wondered if her friend had confided in her.

It wouldn't have surprised me. The more I considered the idea, the more probable it seemed that Katherine knew all about Jasper's little slip. Was there any real likelihood that Nessie hadn't blabbed the whole story to her? After all, she was a girl. I also noticed that Kathy was looking worried, which made it seem even more likely that she knew what Nessie was going to do.

I was curious to discover if my instincts were correct. I didn't say anything right away; I waited until I was fairly sure that Nessie and Jake were out of earshot. While Katherine was kneeling on the ground, rifling through her stuff, I began scraping the ice off my boots and glanced in her direction. I started with some subtle probing.

"Red seemed kind of stressed."

Kathy didn't look at me. She hardly seemed to be listening as she nodded absently. "Uh huh…"

I gave an inward smile. Her apparent _total _lack of interest could only mean one thing. That I was right and she knew _everything!_

But then Katherine frowned to herself, and it became obvious that she was really concerned about her friend's situation. I shouldn't have been so surprised. I knew that she genuinely cared about other people, and that she was attached to Red. But on this occasion, Kathy was far more worried than she needed to be. She had no idea that Nessie's confession wasn't going to come as any kind of shock to Jake.

He'd had time to prepare himself. Ok, so they'd probably have an argument, but it wasn't going to tear him apart. And, more importantly, it wasn't going to tear _them_ apart. They would get over it. I wanted to reassure Kathy that she didn't need to stress about her friend, so I said casually.

"She doesn't need to worry."

Katherine lifted her golden head cautiously. "I'm sorry?"

I had to admire her attempt to keep up the subterfuge, but it was a wasted effort. Raising my eyebrows, I looked her in the eye.

"Nice try."

Her expression became wary and she slowly rose to her feet, sweeping her long hair behind her shoulders. "What do you mean?"

"Come on, Kathy," I said, with a knowing look. "I _know_ that you know what happened with Nessie's uncle Jasper." Her eyes flew wide at these words, and I added with a smirk. "Don't pretend that Red didn't tell you."

She instantly dropped all the pretence, narrowing her eyes suspiciously. "How did you know about that?"

"The Cullens told my brother."

For a second, Katherine was silent, frowning as she considered my words. A moment later she tilted her head. "What do you mean, 'she doesn't need to worry?'"

I gave a casual shrug. "Jake knows all about what Jasper did. Red's been hiding the truth for nothing."

"_What!_" She gasped. "How did he find out?"

She looked pretty shocked, and something in her tone made me wonder if it had really been a smart move to raise the matter. But it was too late to take it back, so I tried to brazen it out. I held her gaze and confessed the truth.

"I told him."

"You did _WHAT…?_" She cried. "_Why…?_ Why would you do that, Leo?"

I was slightly taken aback by the strength of Kathy's reaction. Her expression was surprisingly distraught. From what I could tell, she was taking this whole thing very much to heart. I hadn't meant to upset her, so I attempted some damage control.

"It accidentally slipped out. I assumed he already knew."

"I can't _believe _you sometimes." She stared at me incredulously.

Her accusing tone made me feel defensive. Ok, I'd messed up, but it wasn't entirely my fault. I didn't make Jasper murder the girl, and I hadn't been _trying_ to give Nessie away.

"Hey, I said it was an accident." I protested. "I'll admit that it wasn't the smartest thing I've ever done – I mean with the treaty and everything – but _I _wasn't the one who created this situation. And how the hell was I supposed to guess that Red had been lying to Jake?"

"It's not that. I understand that you couldn't have known." Her eyes searched my face. "It's just… do you have any idea of what she's been going through?"

I rolled my eyes. She was blowing this whole thing _way_ out of proportion. "Come on, Kathy, she's a teenage girl. They're always upset about _something_. Anyway…" I added, rising to my feet with a confident smile. "She'll get over it. They both will."

Katherine took a step back and gazed up at me for a long moment, something in her expression made me feel very uneasy. I had seen that look before, but not for decades.

It was the same look that my mother had frequently given me when I was growing up. My dad was in the navy and spent months away at sea, so most of the time she'd had to discipline me on her own. I hadn't exactly made it easy for her. I remembered the face she always wore when I stumbled home – usually around midday – after a night out drinking with my friends.

Her expression was a mixture of shame and disappointment. She wanted to think the best of me, but I invariably let her down. And now Kathy was looking at me that very same way and it made me feel surprisingly guilty. When she finally spoke, her voice was reproachful.

"You never change, do you, Leo?"

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" I was an immortal, how much change did she expect?

Her eyes never left my face, as she added cryptically. "Everything's still just a game to you, isn't it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"I'm saying." She emphasised her words. "That other people's problems don't seem to touch you at all. You watch those around you suffer, but you're laughing behind their backs. In your mind Nessie and Jake are just fools for loving each other. It doesn't matter that they're being made miserable by circumstances beyond their control. You don't care, even though you've played a part in their unhappiness."

She glared at me challengingly, and her disapproval, combined with my own guilt, made me feel unexpectedly resentful. Kathy was angry with me and I could feel that the whole situation was escalating. I should have been trying to calm her down, but her harsh words touched a nerve. I couldn't keep the edge out of my voice as I replied.

"Well, I'm not going to beat myself up, just because Red's been lying to Jake."

"That's what I mean." Her expression darkened. "It's like the way you're behaving right now; you don't seem to have any feelings. You're still trashing other people's lives and then acting like it's no big deal. You don't care how much trouble you cause, or how many people you hurt along the way, because it's all just a big joke to you."

At this point I realised just how much hostility Katherine had stored up against me. She had been suppressing it, but a deep antipathy was still there and it was finally starting to show.

Unfortunately, my temper was also rising. I'd been through hell because of her. She had walked out on me, and I had been left with guilt and frustration eating away at me for half a century. Did she really think that I was the only person capable of making someone else suffer?

"This isn't about Red and Jake, is it?" I retorted. "This is about _us_."

Keeping her composure, she lifted her chin and answered in a frosty tone. "No, it's about history repeating itself in the way that you treat people, Leo."

Her calm response was much more infuriating than her anger could ever have been. But I wasn't going to let her retreat behind that cool exterior. If Kathy wanted to have it out with me, she was going to have to do it the hard way. She couldn't just fire accusations in my direction, and then act like she was so above it all. I was going to drag her down to my level, whether or not she liked it.

By now my anger had gained the upper hand and I couldn't say that I was really thinking straight, I just wanted to force a reaction. I needed proof that I had once mattered to her.

"Yeah _right!_" I goaded. "Are you going to pretend that you don't care about what happened between us?"

That was all it took.

For a second, she looked as if I'd slapped her in the face, then her expression changed. Her hold on her emotions must have been more tenuous than I'd supposed, because she turned on me with blazing eyes.

"What would you know about _that?_" She spat. "You've never _cared_ about anything, or anyone!"

"How the hell would you know?" I fired back. The injustice of this statement stung me. She had no idea of how much I cared about _her_.

"Because I know _you_," she cried scornfully. "I don't care what Nessie says. I know the _real _you, and you haven't changed at all. You're still the same unfeeling son of a bitch. Your heart is just as cold and dead as it always was."

I had provoked a response out of her, but it didn't make me feel any better, her words cut too deep. Unfortunately there was no holding her back now. She was practically shaking with rage as she added venomously.

"You _deserve_ what happened to you – you murderer! _I'm glad that it did…!_"

I didn't know which of my screw-ups she was talking about, but before I could say anything, Katherine had caught her breath and stumbled back, her eyes wide with fear and remorse. She looked so horrified that I was shocked out of my anger. The bitter response, which had been on the tip of my tongue, was instantly forgotten.

"Kathy…"

I reached out and caught hold of her arm. It was the first time that I had touched her in fifty five years, and even through her jacket I could feel her warmth shooting though my fingers and up my arm. She yanked herself away, as if she had been burned.

"Don't _touch_ me…!" There was no mistaking the revulsion in her eyes. She looked as if she wanted to burst into tears. "Don't _ever_ touch me again."

The whole situation seemed to have got completely out of hand. I took a step away, holding up my hands in surrender, and tried to reason with her. I hoped that it wasn't too late.

"Hey, it's ok. I won't touch you. I just…"

I didn't really know what to say, but before I could get any further, Kathy interrupted me.

"I want you to go."

Her abrupt statement confused me. "Excuse me?"

I gazed into Katherine's face, searching for some meaning to her words, and realised that something had changed. I could see it in her eyes; the fire of her anger had been extinguished and replaced with an icy coldness. Her expression was unnervingly calm as she replied.

"I'm asking you to leave – _now_."

I stared at her in disbelief. "_Why…?_" Ok, we'd had an argument, but this still seemed pretty extreme. But then it occurred to me that I might have upset her by being too aggressive. I quickly tried to reassure her. "Come on, Kathy. You know I'm not going to hurt you."

"No." She shook her head coldly and averted her eyes. "I really tried, but I can't do this. You're no good for me, Leo. I hate what I become when I'm around you… I don't want to see you right now." Still refusing to look at me, she took a deep breath and added. "I don't want to see you _ever_."

I had no answer to this crushing statement. How did you argue with someone who was so sure of their words? I just stood in silence, desperately trying to think of something to say, some way to talk her out of her decision. She couldn't really feel this way. It _couldn't_ be true, not when I loved her so deeply.

Kathy waited for a few seconds, before turning away from me and going to her backpack. She started to gather her things together and pack them away. I watched her in dismay.

"What are you doing?"

"If you won't leave, then I will."

"Are you crazy?" I was aghast. Surely there was another way that we could work this out.

"Not yet…" She shook her head with a humourless smile.

I tried to apologise, I wanted to make things right. "Listen, I'm sorry… I shouldn't have made you mad. Please Kathy, there's no need for this."

She didn't reply. She just continued to pack, without even bothering to look at me.

That was when I realised that she was really going to do it. She was going to leave her friends and travel across an exposed wilderness, all by herself, just to escape from me. I couldn't let her go. My instincts were convinced that it wasn't safe. So there was really only one option left, I didn't want to take it, but there was no other way.

"No, wait…" I took a step towards her. She glanced up quickly and I added in a low, steady voice. "It's ok. You don't have to leave. I'll go… just stay with Jake and Nessie… _please_." She looked sceptical until I picked up my backpack. "Look, I'll leave right now. Just don't go off alone."

Dropping her backpack, she rose to her feet. Her jaw tightened and she nodded calmly. "Alright."

I searched her eyes, still hoping for a sign that she might have suddenly changed her mind; that she might want me to stay after all. But there was no uncertainty in them; there was nothing there at all. Her face was wiped of all emotion as she coolly returned my gaze. I realised that nothing I could say would make any difference, Katherine had put herself behind an impenetrable barrier and there was absolutely no way that I was going to get through to her.

It was ironic really. When I had first encountered her, Kathy had been an open and loving person. She had only built up these defences during her association with me; she couldn't have survived if she hadn't. _I _had made her this way. It seemed like poetic justice that, all these years later, I should find myself entirely locked out.

There was nothing for me to do, but go. Katherine stood and watched in silence, as I slung my backpack over my shoulder.

"Would you tell the others I said 'goodbye?'"

She nodded wordlessly and I zipped up my jacket, before raising my eyes to her face. There wasn't anything else to say that she would want to hear, so I kept it brief.

"Goodbye, Kathy. Look after yourself."

Her cool expression remained unchanging. "Goodbye, Leo." She sounded so distant that I felt as if she was already erasing me from her memory.

I took a long look at beautiful her face, wishing that I could hold onto our last moment together, before I turned away and headed towards the trees at a steady walk. My whole body rebelled against leaving Katherine this way. My legs felt heavy and lifeless, they didn't want to take me away. The only thing that kept them moving was my pride.

I hit the edge of the shadowy forest and passed into the trees without looking back. I knew that if I did, I would never be able to leave. I forced myself to start running, increasing the distance between us with every stride. The miles quickly flew past, as I left her behind me.

And now I was standing in the middle of this godforsaken wilderness with no idea of what to do next. It didn't help that my whole body seemed to be aching. The sharp pain in my chest had gone, but my limbs felt as if they were suffering from human fatigue. My thoughts were filled with agonising remorse.

Why had I opened my big mouth? There was absolutely no need for that argument. Kathy had been trying to get along with me. She had showed me friendliness and what had I done? Provoked her in the most foolish way possible, and convinced her that I was nothing but a worthless, heartless, bastard.

And there was no doubt that the damage was irreparable. Katherine wanted nothing more to do with me. I had seen it in her eyes. She _hated_ me. She had given me a chance and, once again, I had let her down. But that was nothing compared to how badly I had let myself down.

Kathy would stop thinking about this disaster. She would stop thinking about me, and I would become nothing more than a distant memory in her life. But I would _never_ stop thinking about her. I would never stop regretting what I had just done. I knew the value of what I'd lost. I'd had half a century's experience to know that I couldn't be happy without her. I could put on a good show, but it wasn't the same thing. Her company was utterly irreplaceable and I was barred from it forever.

I'd lost her once before, and I tried to tell myself that it might be easier this time, but who the hell was I kidding? It was going to be absolutely horrendous. A bleak future stretched far ahead of me, empty and unchanging. It would probably be _worse_ than before. In the past I'd always had a minute sliver of hope that someday I might see Katherine again, and – by some miracle – she would forgive me. But now even that hope was gone, because she _had _seen me again and everything had fallen into ruin.

Even as I thought of her, I still wanted to turn around. I wanted to go back and beg for forgiveness. But I knew that it was impossible, Kathy had made it clear that she wanted me to leave her alone.

'I don't want to see you _ever_.' That's what she'd said, and in a tone which left no room for misinterpretation. For me to return now would be worse than pointless. She'd been as categorical as she could be, and it would only hurt her more if I went back and forced her to say it all again.

Added to which, I doubted that Jake or Red would thank me for creating another scene. By now they must know exactly what a jerk I'd been. Kathy probably would have given them a blow-by-blow account of our argument. And if Jake had told Nessie that I'd spilled the beans about her uncle Jasper, then it was a fairly safe bet that I wouldn't exactly be Mr Popular at 'Camp Alaska' right now. Not that it would have bothered me, if Kathy wanted me back. But she didn't, so it was another disincentive for returning.

So the only option I had was to keep moving and pretend that I actually had somewhere worth going. It was strange, I wasn't remotely ready to think of the future, but the question of what I was going to do still circled in my head.

I remembered the first time that Katherine and I separated. Once I had really accepted that she wasn't coming back, I had been filled with overwhelming bitterness and hatred. I was sickened by the idea of feeding on humans, because it reminded me too vividly of what I'd done to her, but I could still hunt vampires.

And I did.

For several years, I channelled all my vengeful feelings into tracking. Killing vampires almost made me feel like I was myself again, I used every act of brutality to crush out my humanity, and it was a distraction. It worked pretty well for my friends too, it got to a point where no one would even _think _about crossing their territory, but in the long run it didn't really make me feel any better. It was only when Hal stepped in that I started to find some peace. He'd helped pull me out of that dark place, and I knew that whatever happened, I didn't want to go there again, not now… not ever.

That being said, I wouldn't have said no to a hunt right now, even if it was just a temporary relief. I needed to vent some anger before I could face the future. It gave me a kind of grim satisfaction to know that there was a coven of four vampires who were ready and waiting to be tracked by me. They had it coming anyway, they'd killed Johnny.

I knew that it was going to be dangerous; John wouldn't have gone down without one hell of a fight, so these vampires were guaranteed to be cunning and vicious. But if they were strong, then it was a safe assumption that they'd also be over-confident. It was stunning how many powerful vampires seemed to be under the ridiculous impression that they were invulnerable. They never expected to be taken down, but knocking arrogant bastards off their pedestals was my speciality. And this time I was _really_ going to enjoy it.

I only wished that I had discovered who'd given Kathy those scars. Whoever they were, they'd have been next in line. She'd probably encountered them in Asia, so it would have meant a long trail across hostile territory. It would have been _perfect_. I couldn't believe I had missed the opportunity to find out who it was. I had let Kathy down _again_, I wasn't even able do that one small thing for her.

The day was ending. I watched the sun dropping below the western horizon from the hillside. It was an eerily beautiful sunset; a deep red sun, casting menacing black shadows across the landscape. The snow on the surrounding hills reflected the red light and, for a moment, it seemed as if the whole scene had been stained with blood.

It made me feel uneasy, and I gazed across icy wilderness, searching for something – _anything_ – that could explain the way I was feeling. There was nothing suspicious in sight, but I still had a nagging worry. Was Kathy in danger?

That was when I realised that I was probably just looking for an excuse to return to her. My unconscious was throwing out these fears so I could justify going back. I shook my head in disgust. God, I was even more pathetic than I'd realised.

Lifting my backpack from the ground, I took a deep breath and made the decision; I would carry on heading east, and get out of this place. I would travel back to Washington and pick up the trail that I had left at Lacamas Lake.

I started running. It was growing dark, not that that made any difference to me. I just ran through the night, forcing my mind to focus on the upcoming trail. I concentrated on the four vampires, letting the memories of their scents play through my mind. I wanted to awaken my primitive side. I knew that switching into my more instinctive tracker mind-set would be a great way to dull the pain.

My body gradually relaxed and my breathing steadied as I listened to my inner voice. Darkness encompassed me as I ran. I could feel the tracker emerging as my senses sharpened. This was the part of me that I generally found easiest to understand. It was always soothing to let my thoughts lull and my instincts take over and guide me.

Unfortunately, on this occasion my instincts weren't exactly helping. It was slightly disconcerting to discover how desperate they were for me to return to Kathy. They were using every means possible to undermine my resolve, by screaming out feelings of danger and panic. I started to wish that I hadn't encouraged my inner voice to start talking. Now I just wanted it to shut the hell up!

I tried not to think of Kathy, and focus on my surroundings instead, but the stupid voice kept on nagging me, '_turn back, there's still time_'. And just when I thought that I couldn't possibly feel any lower, I remembered Kathy's picture. It was still sitting in my pocket. I had completely failed to return it to its rightful owner. This had not been a deliberate move on my part, just another unwitting screw-up.

Her photograph had been my most precious possession for over fifty years, but since arriving in Alaska, I hadn't thought of it once, I'd only thought of her, the real girl, there in front of me. Of course, now that the real girl was gone, her picture suddenly became important again. But it didn't belong to me and I knew how much she would want it back.

Drawing to a halt, I reached into my jacket pocket and pulled out my wallet. I flipped it open and was confronted with her face. The darkness made no difference to my eyes. My chest ached as I gazed down at the image of the human girl. It didn't matter whether she was human or vampire, Katherine had always been heart-wrenchingly beautiful.

I felt so guilty; I had taken so much from her, including this last memento of her brother. I needed to give it back, it had been wrong to take the picture in the first place, and it was doubly wrong to hold onto it now. I knew where she was, it wasn't too late. I almost turned around, until I realised that I had fallen victim to another cunning ruse by my unconscious.

I gritted my teeth; I wasn't going to turn back now. I wasn't going to give in. I didn't need to see Kathy again to give her the picture. I could mail it to Nessie. She was a trustworthy person; she'd pass it on to her friend. And it would be the last that either of them would hear from me.

I knew that I wouldn't be able to keep in any kind of contact with the Cullens after this. I needed distance from Kathy and I would never get that, if I was talking to her friends. I was pretty confident that Nessie wouldn't actually want to be friends with me anyway. Girls usually closed ranks over stuff like this. If Kathy wouldn't to speak to me, then I could be pretty certain that Red wouldn't either. It was a shame though. I really did like the kid, far more than she would ever know.

It was a slight complication that Hal was friends with Carlisle, but he wouldn't mention the Cullens to me, if I asked him not to. It was lucky for me that my brother was a considerate guy.

I put the picture away in resignation. I'd send it to Nessie and let that be the end of the matter.

Raising my head, I took a steadying breath and started to move forward. As the cold Alaskan air filled my lungs, I lied to myself and pretended that things would get better someday

That was the moment when I realised that they were about to get much, much worse.

The air I had inhaled carried a sweet scent, and I recognised it instantly. It was one of the four vampires who'd killed John. I stood completely still and took another breath. The scents were faint, but they were all there. All four had travelled to Alaska.

I took a second, trying to clear my head. Why the hell had they come _here?_ I knew damn well that they weren't vegetarians, and there was hardly a large population of humans to tempt them in this remote place.

And that was when all my intuitions slotted together and I _finally_ realised what I should have known all along. They were a _tracking_ party – and they were tracking my friends.

As this ugly truth hit home, I was filled with a terrible sense of dread. Jake, Red and Kathy had absolutely _no_ idea of what was coming, they were completely unprepared. And the four vampires were probably already closer to them than I was. I wasn't going to have time to give them any back-up, let alone warn them of the danger.

I spun around without a moment's hesitation, breaking into a run as I headed west. I had to get back to the others as quickly as possible. There was no time to take the scenic route; I just wanted to find the fastest way across the frozen landscape.

If my instincts were right, I didn't have a second to lose. The tracking party were ahead of me. The best I could hope for was that they were only running at an ordinary speed, and that they didn't realise that I was on their tail. If I was really, really lucky then I might be able to catch up and take one or two of them down, just enough to give Jake and Kathy an even fight.

I didn't include little Red in the equation. She was stronger than a human, but she still had no chance against a vampire. To be honest, her presence would probably be more of a hindrance than anything else. She would make an easy target, and Jake and Kathy would have to defend her, as well as themselves. The scenario made my blood run cold. My fears fuelled my desire to reach them, and I fought for more speed, as I raced back across the wilderness.

All the time, my mind went over and over, trying to work out what had made my friends targets. Who were these four strangers actually after? I dismissed Jacob as a possibility. Ok, he was a natural enemy to vampires, but the wolves kept themselves to themselves and worked within a defensive strategy. They posed no real threat to anyone who didn't cross the peninsula. It was possible that someone might hold a vendetta against Jake, but I just didn't feel that they were tracking him.

So that just left Kathy and Red. It was obvious that Nessie was an option. Her family had a history of trouble with the Volturi, and there was also that unexplained business with a real werewolf that Jake had mentioned. But what about Kathy? I only knew a fraction of what she had been doing in our time apart. There was a lot of time unaccounted for, time for her to get on _somebody's_ wrong side. And she did have those scars.

I pushed my body to its absolute limits, covering as much ground as I could. The tracking party could not be allowed to catch up with her. As I ran, for the first time ever, I found myself desperately wishing that God would listen to the prayers of a creature like me. But he wouldn't, so I made a promise to myself instead, and it was the most solemn vow of my life.

I promised that if I could just get to her in time, if I could save her from this coven, then I would never ask for anything more of Katherine as long as I existed. She wouldn't have to speak to me, she wouldn't even have to _look _at me again, if only was allowed to protect her now.

I would sacrifice anything to save her and I knew that whatever price was asked, it would be worth paying.

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**A very big thank you to last week's reviewers for their comments, and for the new list additions, they mean a lot to me :)**

**Apart from that I just want to say that I won't be posting a chapter next Saturday. **

**I know it's a cliffhanger, and I really am sorry. I don't particularly want to take the week off, but this is a logistical decision more than anything else. I've been running really short on editing time this week, and the next few chapters would definitely be better to post without any breaks. So I plan to resume my usual Saturday postings in a fortnight (Sept 29th). And, of course, if I take any breaks in the future, I will give due warning :)**

**In the mean time, have a lovely fortnight, and thank you for reading. **

**Speak to you soon, Mad :)**


	48. Nessie, a dark encounter

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

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><p><strong>A big thank you to my beta willowbae, for her chapter-reading expertise :)<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 48.<strong>

**Nessie – a dark encounter**

The next morning the atmosphere was terrible.

I was on edge, Jake was still brooding, and Katherine would hardly say a word. The weather seemed to reflect our inner turmoil. For the first time since we'd arrived in Alaska, there were threatening clouds hanging low over the landscape, and the wind was driving in from the northeast. I assumed that there would be snowfall before the day was out.

Jake was packed and ready to leave before I awoke, and Katherine was also ready to get going. I wondered if she had bothered to unpack the night before, or if she had spent the whole night outdoors. I strongly suspected that she had, but I didn't bother to ask, because she seemed so unwilling to talk.

It was obvious that neither of them wanted to wait around, so I tried to gather my things together quickly. It wasn't long before I was also ready to go. Jake phased into wolf form and I helped him strap on his backpack. I resisted the temptation to stroke his furry neck; I didn't think that he was in the mood for that kind of contact. I could feel the distance between us and it weighed heavy on my heart. How had I managed to hurt him so badly?

As we left our campsite, I looked around me wistfully. It occurred to me that it might be a very long time before I returned to Denali. It was an amazing place and seemed a shame that our trip was ending on such a dismal note.

I knew that the situation between Leo and Katherine went way beyond my control – or even my understanding – but when it came to the unhappiness emanating from Jacob, I only had myself to blame. It seemed that the only thing we could do now was return to Washington and try to put this disaster behind us. I had the ominous feeling that that was going to be easier said than done. I didn't know if Jacob would ever trust me again, and I was sure that I wouldn't deserve it, even if he did.

We started out over the fir covered hills and headed onto the wide plains. The sun rose a little higher, but remained well hidden behind the heavy grey clouds. Even when the sun reached its apex, the sky was still dark and gloomy. The snowy landscape reflected a certain amount of light, but it was still a remarkably dreary day.

As we crossed the miles of bleak, frozen wilderness, I felt unbelievably depressed. It was very cold, and I actually found myself looking forward to the bus ride back to the airport. At least it would be relatively warm and I would be able to sit quietly, without having a biting wind whistling around my head. Unfortunately, we had hours of running ahead of us, if we were to catch the evening bus back to Anchorage.

Jake ran beside me, but Katherine fell a short way behind. She wasn't being unfriendly – in fact, I think that she was making a concerted effort not to be too surly – but she was very withdrawn. I had begun to understand that this was the way that my friend dealt with stress or unhappiness. She preferred to lock herself away, rather than put her pain on display.

By the way she was behaving; I guessed that she was feeling extremely miserable. Her dark brows were locked in a deep frown and her expression was completely closed. I wished that I could help her somehow, but I wasn't sure what to do. She didn't look as if she was ready to speak to anyone.

I was angry with Leo for making her so unhappy. He must have been pretty mean for Katherine to ask him to leave. She was a good person; I wondered why he would willingly hurt her? Didn't he care about her at all? I would have thought that, at the very least, he might have felt some remorse for the past. But then again, why would he? Leo had a shadowy history, and there was no reason why his treatment of Katherine would bother him more than any of the other terrible things he'd done.

As far as I knew, the only thing he regretted was killing his human girlfriend. But now I was starting to wonder if my father had exaggerated what he'd seen in Leo's mind. It was entirely possible that my dad was projecting his own feelings, about my mother, onto Leo's memories of his dead girlfriend. And one thing was for sure, Leo hadn't actually cared enough to spare the poor girl's life.

No, the more I thought about it, the more it seemed that beneath his charming exterior, Leo was nothing but a selfish and heartless person. I couldn't believe that I'd been so wrong in my estimation of him; I had been completely taken in. I was pretty sure that after this incident I wasn't going to maintain any kind of friendship with him.

But none of this helped Katherine and I knew that I was failing again. I had let Jacob down, and now I was completely failing to support my friend. I racked my brains, trying to think of something that I could do to make her feel better. I dropped behind Jake, to run a little closer to Katherine. After a few minutes, I glanced timidly in her direction.

"Katherine, are you ok?"

She raised her eyes from her quiet contemplation. "Yes… I'm fine, thank you."

She wasn't remotely hostile, but her voice was notably lacking in expression. A second later, she looked away, turning her eyes towards the distant mountains.

"Um…" I mumbled uncomfortably. "That's good."

Katherine nodded firmly, without looking at me, effectively ending the conversation. It appeared that my attempt to get her talking had fallen completely flat. She probably needed much more time.

I only wished that I wasn't heading home in a matter of hours. I had no idea of when we would see each other again, it might not be for months, and it seemed very sad that the last of our time together should be like this. But I couldn't force Katherine to speak to me, and I didn't know how to break down her barriers.

It seemed a cruel irony that Leo would probably have been able to charm his way past her defences. She'd thawed towards him in a remarkably short amount of time. It was just a shame that he'd then proceeded to make her so miserable. Not that I could talk – I'd hardly made Jacob's life a paradise on earth.

For the next hour we continued in silence. We made fast progress, Mount McKinley looked closer all the time, not that you could see that much of the mountain, it was almost entirely hidden by thick grey clouds. The land was divided by many rivers, weaving between the hills and across the valleys. As we travelled south, we had to cross several of them. It was fortunate that we were all able to jump the distances, because most of them were partially frozen and the water was bitingly cold.

The insistence of the miserable weather, and the repetitive running motion, quietened my thoughts and turned me in on myself. I gradually became less and less aware of my surroundings. It was only when we approached one of the wider rivers that my mind was jerked to attention by Katherine, who suddenly skidded to a halt with a warning hiss.

This sharp sound instantly brought Jake and me stumbling to a standstill, and we turned just as she snapped her head around and glared east across the river, towards the hills which bordered the plain.

Katherine's eyes were fiercely concentrated on a single point. Jacob followed her eye line, trying to discover what she had seen. For a moment I wondered if she had caught sight of Leo, but before I could ask, she glanced at Jake.

"Do you see them?"

_Them?_

He gave a silent nod and, out of nowhere, I was hit by a wave of stark terror. I hardly knew why I was so afraid. My heart seemed to be trying to pound its way right out of my chest. I glanced at Katherine and whispered fearfully.

"Who are they… who do you see?"

Her voice was grave. "Four… moving quickly."

"Vampires?"

She inclined her head and Jacob gave a low growl. I tried to think past the panic that was building in my chest, and I had a reassuring thought.

"My cousins." I exclaimed in relief. "It must be them."

Katherine turned her eyes to my face, and there was no comfort to be found in their expression. "It's not them, Nessie." She shook her head slowly, before glancing back towards the hills. "These are all males. And something's not right…"

"What do you mean," I asked nervously, staring at the hills in a desperate effort to see who was coming. But my eyes weren't sharp enough and I was entirely blind to the threat.

"I can _feel_ it," she replied. "I've been feeling it for days, I just didn't understand."

At that moment, she was interrupted by Jacob's fierce growl. His hackles rose and his white teeth were fully exposed as he continued snarling, his eyes still fixed on the hills.

"What is it, Jake?" I reached out to him in panic. He whined and glanced at me, holding my gaze. I looked deep into his eyes and saw the message. "You know who they are?"

He nodded and whined again. And then I understood as clearly as if he had spoken the words.

"_No...!_"

For a second, I felt as if all the air had been knocked out of me. My head felt light and I couldn't breathe.

There was no question about it. We didn't stand a chance.

Katherine was watching our exchange and she caught hold of my arm. "What is it Nessie, do you know who they are?"

I nodded, answering her numbly. "The Volturi. They've come for us… I mean, they've come for _me!_" Jacob growled, and I leaned into him, as my whole body started to shake. "Oh God, Jake. We're all going to die."

Katherine's grip tightened as she searched my face. "Are you _serious_, Nessie?" She then glanced at Jake with shocked eyes. "Is this true?"

He nodded slowly and I tried to pull my wits together. Wasn't there anything we could do?

"Can't we make a run for it?" I hastily glanced around, looking for an escape.

"No, there's no time for that. You're not fast enough to outrun them, Nessie," said Katherine, shaking her head in despair. But then her expression changed. "Unless…" She exchanged a look with Jake, before turning to me purposefully. "Unless _you_ go… now!"

"What?"

She caught hold of my shoulders and stared me straight in the eye, her voice was deadly serious. "If we all run, they'll catch us. Maybe no one will survive. But if _you_ run now, Jake and I can buy you some time… you might be able to get away."

I looked at her, aghast. "But… but, what about _you?_"

Was she insane? Did she really think that I would leave them to face the Volturi alone? My eyes travelled from her to Jake in confusion. I could see in his face that he actually _agreed_ with her outrageous suggestion. He was watching me intently, as Katherine tried to reason with me.

"We might stand a chance, Nessie. I don't know… but you have _no_ chance against a full vampire. None at all. Don't you understand? You can't fight them, the only thing you can do is run… and we're losing time, you have to go… you have to go _now._"

"_No!_" I yanked myself free, crying out in anger. "No, I won't!"

Her voice was grim. "You _have_ to. There's no other way."

I was standing with my back against Jacob's flank. He suddenly shifted around and started pushing me with his head, forcing me to move.

"Jacob!" I caught hold of him. "_Stop it!_ What are you doing?"

He ignored me and continued to shove me back, all the time I could hear his whines, begging me to run.

"_NO!_" I shrieked, casting my arms around his neck and gripping his fur tightly. "No, I won't go. I'm not leaving you…"

Katherine tried to loosen my hold on him, prizing my fingers off his coat and pleading with me. "Please, Nessie. There's no other way, _please go…!_"

"I don't care." By this point I was crying hysterically. "You can't _make_ me… you can't make me go. I won't let you." I hid my face against Jacob's neck and wept into his fur. "Please Jake; don't send me away… don't make me leave you… please… I love you... please…"

I clung on to Jake for dear life as my whole body was racked with sobs. After one last attempt, he gave up pushing me and twisted his head around, so that he could nuzzle me comfortingly. I could feel the weight of his sadness. He wanted me to leave, but he wasn't going to force me, even though he knew what it meant for us.

Katherine released me and said in a resigned voice. "Alright, Nessie. If that's what you want. It's probably too late now anyway… I just wish..." She didn't bother to finish the sentence and I could hear all the suppressed frustration in her voice.

But she didn't understand. I didn't think that we could win. I didn't believe for one second that I could survive in a fight against a vampire. I knew that these four Volturi hunters would only bring death. But I couldn't bear the thought of Jacob facing that death without me, and I knew that if he was killed, then there would be no point in me surviving anyway. My life would not be worth living without him. I would rather spend our last few precious minutes together.

I took slow breaths and tried to calm myself, while Jacob stared back across the river, towards the hills and the oncoming threat. Katherine stood beside him, tall and strong, facing our impending doom with a composed expression. She'd already tossed her backpack onto the ground, and I followed suit, and also unstrapped the pack from Jake's back. They would only get in the way. Then I took a step forward, coming to a halt between Katherine and Jake.

Katherine seemed very calm as she pulled a hairband out of her pocket and tied her hair back into a ponytail. I found this simple, practical gesture strangely reassuring. She hadn't given up quite yet, she was preparing to fight. She suddenly glanced towards Jacob and me, and her voice was repentant.

"I'm sorry."

This random comment threw me. "What on earth for…?"

"I shouldn't have forced Leo to leave us. We would stand a much better chance if he was here too, we wouldn't be so outnumbered and he's a good fighter…" She bit her lip. "This is all my fault."

"No." I shook my head vehemently. "Don't say that, you didn't know this was going to happen."

"You don't understand, I _should _have known. I've had a bad feeling since arriving here. At the very least I should have tried to keep us all together. I was a fool to drive him away. Please, forgive me." Her eyes were earnest as she made the request.

"There's nothing to forgive." It was far too late for petty recriminations. Nothing would be more pointless at a time like this. I gave her arm a light squeeze, attempting to reassure her. "And anyway, you probably saved Leo's life."

"Yes… you're right, I hadn't thought of it that way." She glanced away from me, adding in a low tone. "He'll survive – he _has_ to." I could hear the intense conviction in her voice, as if she was willing it to be true.

"He will." I nodded, praying that I was right.

I reached out my hand and let my fingers rest lightly on Jacob's muzzle. I closed my eyes and sent him a message straight from my heart.

_I'm sorry for what I did to you. _

I felt his body tremor as he received my message. Jake pressed his head against my shoulder and I hoped that this meant he wasn't angry anymore. I raised my hand and fondly stroked his face and neck. I tried not to think that this would be the last time that I would ever do this. I kept my thoughts to myself; I certainly didn't want to put that idea into Jacob's head. He didn't need to go into this confrontation feeling completely demoralised.

There was so much more that I wanted to say to him, so much to apologise for, but we were running out of time. The vampires were finally close enough for me to see them too. They were moving fast, running in a predatory pack. Jacob was right. I recognised one of them as a member of the Volturi guard, which meant that the others almost certainly were, too.

They were dressed in dark travel clothes suited for the rough terrain, not the dress robes that they had worn when they descended upon the peninsula, but black boots, and dark pants and jackets with a military cut. They looked unnervingly like SS uniforms from the 1930s. The only difference was that they were varying shades of dark grey, rather than black.

All four men had dark hair, three of them wore it cropped short, but the vampire running ahead, leading the group, had longer, wavy hair. As I glanced at his sallow face, I remembered his name. It was Demetri. I also remembered what I had been told about him. He was the tracker for the Volturi.

It suddenly made sense how they had found us in this remote place. No doubt our isolated location worked to their advantage. We were miles away from any witnesses. They could slaughter us and leave, without anyone ever linking the Volturi to our disappearance.

As the four approached, I actually found myself wondering how long it would be before our families realised that we weren't coming home. My thinking was strangely detached as I tried to calculate how long it would take my parents to find my remains. I wasn't thinking about myself, or Katherine, or even Jacob, in a personal sense. It was as if I had completely cut off from the reality of the future and saw it only as a series of isolated events.

When we didn't return to Washington, my family would grow uneasy and the pack might start to worry. My parents would speak to Jacob's family. The Cullens would probably be in communication with my Denali cousins, who would tell them that Katherine had never arrived. And Grandpa Carlisle would discover, through Hal, where Leo had last seen us.

I couldn't quite work out the sequence of these events. But I knew that in the end, someone would come looking.

I wondered if they would they find our bodies, or just a pile of charred bones? If they found any remains, they would probably take them to bury elsewhere; maybe in the Olympic Peninsula. I wondered if the treaty would allow me to be buried with Jacob. I wasn't quite sure if Jake would want that, after the awful way that I had lied to him, but I knew that I would prefer it.

And then my thoughts turned to Katherine. She would be reduced to ash. Would she have blown away by the time my family came looking, or would she have been absorbed back into the ground? Ashes to ashes…

I glanced at my fearless friend and realised that no one would come looking for her. Katherine had no family and very few ties. She always had to move on from her human friends, before they realised that she wasn't aging naturally. That left only Jake, Seth and me, who cared at all. Seth would be sorry if he discovered that she'd been killed, but if Jacob was also lost, his sadness about his pack brother would overshadow everything else.

So that was it. In the final analysis, a kind and unselfish person, who had spent years of her life helping others, had no home and belonged to no one. I felt sure that this wouldn't have been the case if she had remained human. Someone would have loved her. As it was, she would hardly be missed at all.

As I thought of this, I was filled with a terrible sense of sadness, my detachment disappeared and the true reality of what was happening hit home. Before I knew it, my cheeks were wet with tears. Katherine caught sight of my face and gave me a sympathetic smile.

"Don't be scared, Nessie. We'll do everything we can to protect you."

I nodded and said nothing. I couldn't exactly tell her that I was actually crying because no one would care if she was killed. She watched me for a second, before adding cautiously.

"I know you don't want to, Nessie. But you have to be prepared to run."

I could hear the deep concern in her voice, the anxiety for my welfare. Jake turned his head and gave me an intent look. I suddenly realised that they _needed_ to believe that I would try and save myself; maybe it was the only way that they could go into this fight. So I nodded slowly and told them what they needed to hear.

"Alright."

Katherine looked relieved and Jake stared at me for a long moment. I knew that he wanted to believe me, but I couldn't say for sure that he did. I glanced away, to avoid his scrutiny, and turned my eyes back to the four.

They were close now, approaching on the other side of the river. As they drew near, they halted in a line, facing us across the icy water. There was silence, as both sides sized each other up. Katherine and Jake simultaneously stepped forward, deliberately blocking the enemy's path to me. I looked along the line, appraising the threat, and what I saw was not reassuring.

The one with longer hair, Demetri, stood slightly in front of the others. He was clearly leading the party. As my eyes followed the line, I recognised another of the band. The enormous vampire towering beside Demetri looked familiar. A memory of this man, leering at my mother, came to mind. His name… what was his name? Had I ever heard it? And why did it even matter to me now?

The other two were not known to me, generic thugs, with stupid, malignant expressions. I guessed, by their paler uniforms, that they were of junior rank. They were just there to follow orders, like all the best death squads. The huge vampire was the first to speak. He pointed across the river at me.

"She's afraid," he sneered. "I can smell it."

I was glad that Jacob kept his cool. He didn't bother to growl, he just edged slightly further in front of me. The big vampire then turned his eyes towards Katherine and tilted his head. He slowly looked her up and down, and an appreciative smile curled his lips.

"_You're_ not afraid, beautiful. Do you think you can do something to get out of this?" She didn't answer him, keeping her face a mask. So he continued in a persuasive tone. "Maybe you can…"

I could hear the suggestive edge to his voice and it sickened me. I also realised that he was trying to divide us by encouraging Katherine to switch sides. I glanced at my friend, fixing my concentration and sending her a message.

_No witnesses will be allowed to survive this._

She threw me a sideways glance. Her expression was completely blank, but I could sense that she was inwardly rolling her eyes, as if I was pointing out the most obvious thing in the world. At this moment I realised just how ridiculous my anxiety was. Katherine would sooner be turned to a pile of charred ash than join with the Volturi.

The big vampire obviously thought that he was making some headway, because he added insultingly. "After all, do you really want to sacrifice your life, protecting a half-breed and her dog?"

Katherine finally answered in a steady voice. "It's no sacrifice, I'm not alive."

I was shocked to realise that she actually meant it.

"Oh, I wouldn't say that…" He gave an odious smirk, still trying to undermine her resolve.

She met his gaze with a mixture of boredom and contempt. "You're hardly the judge. You're not alive either."

He seemed unable to think of a clever reply, so it was lucky for him that this exchange was interrupted by his commander's cool voice.

"Felix, _enough_. She's not going to change her mind."

Felix. Of course, his name was _Felix_. I should have known that.

Felix kept his blood red eyes fixed on Katherine with that same sleazy expression. "_Shame_."

She behaved as if he hadn't spoken at all, turning instead to the lead vampire, Demetri.

"Why are you here?"

He took a step towards the frosty banks of the river, and the others followed him. "I'd rather not be, but she left us no choice," he said, throwing me a look of revulsion. "When that _abomination_ decided to become the bitch to a dog, she put us all at risk."

Again, there was no reaction from Jake. I knew how much it must have cost him to listen to those words and restrain himself, but he was controlling his temper to protect me. It was obvious that he did not want to let these vampires goad him into making a hot-headed slip. Jake wasn't going to fight this battle on their terms. His calm reaction put some heart into me and I lifted my chin. Katherine frowned and ignored Demetri's insults, instead she answered his statement.

"By what logic has she put any of us at risk? The wolves already know what we are. They have done for a century. It has never been an issue before. Why now? Why _her?_"

"How easy will it be to keep the secret when she starts breeding hybrid mongrels?" He snapped spitefully.

This comment cut me to the quick. Having my most precious hope dragged into the open by him was surprisingly painful. Jake must have sensed my hurt, or maybe he even felt it himself, because he edged slightly closer to me, close enough for his warm fur to brush against my arm.

Demetri continued to drawl. "To be honest, she made us realise that all half-breeds represent a similar threat to our secrecy. No one wants them breeding with humans, or vampires, for that matter. So this isn't _entirely _personal." He caught my eye for a brief moment. "And we couldn't be seen to make an exception of _you_."

Demetri's words took a moment to sink in. Was he admitting that _all_ the hybrids were now subject to a Volturi death sentence? What about Nahuel and his sisters, were they also under threat? My words almost choked me.

"The _others…?_"

"We've already disposed of some." His sallow face hardened. "But we'll catch up with the rest soon enough."

My mind raced. Had they found Nahuel's family? Or were there more hybrids who I hadn't heard of? A part of me was desperate to know, but I could not bring myself to ask. I just couldn't face the idea that Nahuel had been killed. I could feel my mouth going dry at the thought.

Felix suddenly interrupted with a grin. "It was a shame though, those girls were so soft, kind of breakable, but it made a nice change…" He glanced at his companions. "Wouldn't you agree?"

Demetri didn't seem to be particularly interested in this exchange, but the other two smirked. I didn't understand what he was talking about, until I turned and caught the look of disgust on Katherine's face. I glanced back at the Volturi, feeling frightened and nauseated, and tried desperately not to think of what they had done to the other girls. Suddenly death didn't seem the worse option after all.

Felix was watching me, and when he realised just how afraid I was, he gave a derisive snort. "Don't worry. It wouldn't matter how good you felt, I'd never touch _you_. Not after you've whored yourself out to a dog."

This time, his abuse missed its mark. I hated this demon too much to feel humiliated by his insults. His comments only reflected his gutter-like mind and they no longer inspired anything in me but loathing. He didn't know me, he didn't know Jacob, and I was glad that he was ignorant of the truth. It was only a relief to believe that he would never want me.

Jacob stayed completely still and I rested my hand on his neck, hoping that it would help to keep him calm.

Demetri noticed this movement. "You brought your dog to protect you." I said nothing, so he nodded to the junior guards with a smug expression. "We brought leashes."

A second later, they each pulled out lengths of thick steel cabling, and started to unwind them, looping them into nooses. Kathy's eyes opened wide and she shot a quick look towards Jake and me, hissing.

"Get back, _now!_"

As she said these words, all hell broke loose. Demetri signalled to the junior guards, who immediately leapt the river, heading straight for Jake. He fell back, snapping and snarling the whole time, keeping me behind him, sheltered from the advance. And as he did, Demetri and the giant Felix leapt the river towards us.

They were both focused on me. It was clear that they were using the guard to contain Jacob and leave me open to attack. Katherine threw one look at me as they charged towards us. Her golden eyes were burning.

_"Run, Nessie!"_ She commanded. _"Do it now!"_

And without another word, she sprung forward with teeth bared and closed on Felix. I stood frozen on the spot, horrified at the sight of my friend throwing herself into combat with a vampire who she had absolutely no hope of beating. What was Katherine doing? She _knew _she couldn't win.

Jacob was still between the others and me, keeping them at bay with his huge snapping jaws, shielding me with his big body. Katherine had somehow managed to stall Felix. I could see her sinking her teeth into his arm and struggling ferociously as he locked her in a tight hold. I wondered how long she would last.

And that was when I finally understood, she was doing it for me. Jake was doing it for me. They wanted me to escape. Suddenly I unfroze.

I _had_ to run.

I had to do it _now_.

I spun around and took two steps away from the others, and then I heard the sounds of tearing vampire flesh and an agonised scream. Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw next.

I glanced back towards the riverbank and caught sight of Felix, standing behind Katherine, holding her in a headlock as she cursed and screamed. In his hand he held her dismembered arm. He tossed it aside without a second glance. He was ripping my friend apart before my eyes.

And, as this happened, Jake and I were surrounded by Demetri and the two guards, blocking Katherine from view. They made no move towards me; they were probably just waiting to pick me off later. They just concentrated their efforts on Jacob. He was completely trapped. As he tried to counter the attack on one side, one of the guards managed to get behind him and throw a steel noose around his neck and shoulders, ensnaring him. As they yanked on the cable, Jake was dragged down, allowing the other guard to capture him with another noose.

I saw them pulling the cables sharply, tightening the nooses around his body, cutting cruelly into his thick fur and skin. All the time Jake thrashed and fought to break free, as the devastating sounds of Katherine being torn limb from limb echoed around us.

All thought of flight was abandoned. I threw myself towards Jake and grabbed hold of the steel cables, trying to loosen them before he was strangled. I forced my fingers between the cables and his skin, trying to free him from their deadly snares.

My efforts proved to be futile, before I could make any headway a strong hand caught me from behind, grasping my hair and pulling me back.

"Oh no, you don't." A harsh voice sounded in my ear.

I sobbed and struggled in vain, as Demetri yanked me away from Jake with inexorable strength. I could hardly stay on my feet as he dragged me towards the river. We reached the banks and he caught me in a headlock from behind. His other arm gripped like a vice around my body, making it impossible for me to move. I could not see Jacob. I could only hear him, fighting against his captors to reach me.

I couldn't struggle, I could hardly breathe, and I closed my eyes, preparing for this monster to finish me. I felt his arm tighten around my neck, and the movement as he lowered his head to my shoulder. I did not expect his words.

"Just a taste…"

My eyes flew open as his jaw closed on my shoulder muscle, piercing my skin with his razor-like teeth. My breath caught in my mouth, I couldn't scream or cry when the unbearable pain of his bite hit me. I felt as if someone had driven a sharp spike into my shoulder, as deep as it could go.

He withdrew his head and I could already feel a burning sensation centred in the wound. But the burning wasn't hot, it was freezing cold. An agonising chill seemed to be spreading through my veins. At this point the pain and the shock finally overpowered me and my consciousness started to slip away. And I knew that everything was lost.

Me. Katherine. Jacob…

_My_ Jacob.

I could no longer feel my captor's arms confining me, as I disconnected from the outside world, swaying on my feet until my body gave way. I felt myself slowly falling out of time, only to be immersed in icy blackness.

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Just a quick thank you for the recent reviews and list additions. They were very much appreciated :) **

**I will continue to post chapters on Saturdays (and if I take any more breaks I will try to give prior warning), so until next time, have a good week and thanks for reading,**

**Mad :)**


	49. Leo, vengeance

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

* * *

><p><strong>A big thank you to my beta, willowbae, she's the best :)<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 49.<strong>

**Leo – vengeance**

As I raced across the icy plain, I heard Kathy scream. I could see an enormous vampire holding her in a headlock as he wrenched her arm from its socket. The girl I loved was being torn apart before my eyes. I had never run so fast, and my speed was fuelled by the white heat of my anger.

That son of a bitch only had three more seconds to live; he just didn't know it yet. He couldn't see me coming, his back was to me. No one else noticed my arrival; they were engaged in a skirmish around Jacob. I could hear Nessie shrieking out, but at that moment my whole focus was on the bastard holding Kathy.

Hurling my backpack aside, I leapt the river and tackled him from behind, before he even knew that I was there. Both he and Kathy were thrown forward as, with a rush of feral rage, I dug my fingers into his throat and ripped his thick neck in two, yanking his head from his shoulders in one swift movement. I released Kathy from his hold by tearing his arms from his sides and tossing them away.

Katherine stumbled forward, gasping in pain and horror, trying to escape. She glanced back in confusion, and her eyes flew wide when she caught sight of me.

"_Leo!_"

A moment later, her face contorted in pain, and she clamped her hand over her empty shoulder socket and cursed in agony. I didn't have time to help her. I needed to dismember her attacker as quickly as possible. I couldn't take chances with a guy that big. I tore his legs from his body and started slashing his torso to shreds, before he had any chance to reassemble.

Just then, a loud growl nearby caught my attention. I looked up to see Jacob struggling to free himself from two vampires, who were pinning him down with steel cables. He wasn't making it easy for them, as he twisted and snarled, fighting to break free of his snares. It was just about all they could do, to keep a distance from his snapping jaws, and he almost dragged them off their feet as he fought to reach Nessie. A rat-faced vampire had caught her by the hair and was dragging her towards the river bank. She was crying and screaming in pain.

I threw down the torso and sprang towards one of Jacob's assailants. He was so busy wrestling with Jake that he didn't see me coming until the last minute. As I closed on him, he spun around, releasing the steel cable that twisted around Jacob's shoulders. There was no doubt that this guy was an experienced fighter, he was fast and instantly lunged at me. Unfortunately for him, I was faster.

I ducked out of his reach and caught his outstretched arm, yanking it off his body with a single twist. He swung his other arm to counter me, but I grabbed his wrist, snapping it back as I went for his throat with my teeth bared. There was no way that he was going to escape; this was what I did best. Catching his head in a remorseless hold, I sank my teeth into the exposed skin of his neck and bit down hard. With a final pull, I completely decapitated him.

In the meantime, Jake had turned on the other vampire who'd been ensnaring him. He clamped his powerful jaws around the vampire's chest, taking such a large bite that he almost split the guy in two. But Jake didn't hang around to tear the body to pieces, as soon as he was free of his steel constraints, he charged towards the vampire holding Nessie. I quickly yanked the head off the guy he'd deserted, and turned just as Jacob lunged at Nessie's captor.

The rat-faced vampire raised his head from Nessie's shoulder, just in time to see Jacob leaping towards him. He was completely unprepared as Jacob's sharp teeth sunk into his arm. I heard the familiar sound of tearing vampire flesh as his arm was ripped from his body. Thrusting Nessie away from himself, he raised his other hand in defence, but it was too late, Jake had bitten clean through his neck before he could make a move.

As his head fell to the ground, Nessie's semi-conscious form teetered on the riverbank. I felt as if I was watching in slow motion, when her body gave way and she dropped like a stone, slipping over the edge and into the freezing water. I flew forward, but Jacob beat me to it, without a second's hesitation, he plunged into the river after her.

The river was deep and the current strong, as it carried her away, but Jake was stronger, swimming after her with powerful strokes. She was sinking fast under the torrent of icy water, within seconds she'd be gone.

"_Nessie!_"

I heard an anguished cry and turned to see Kathy crouching on the ground nearby, watching in horror as her friend was swept downstream. She had found her arm, but hadn't reattached it. I was torn for a moment, I wanted to help her, but I was still unsure if I should be following Jake into the river after Nessie. Katherine seemed to understand my dilemma; she raised her eyes to mine.

"Help _her_."

I turned back to the river, ready to dive in, but just at that moment Jake reached Nessie. He managed to catch her collar between his teeth, and pull her head above the surface. He then started swimming back towards the riverbank as quickly as possible. He seemed to have a firm hold on her, so I didn't go in after them. Instead I knelt down beside Kathy. She looked at me fearfully.

"What about Nessie?"

"Jake's got her."

I gently took her arm from her grasp, and she watched as I moved the tattered remains of her shirt sleeve out of the way and gripped her shoulder, aligning her arm to the socket. Her eyes were scared and I tried to reassure her.

"Don't worry; I've done this plenty of times." This was true. When you were in an army, you had to learn how to put a body back together. "It might feel a little uncomfortable," I warned.

"You'd know, huh?" She winced in pain, as her arm connected with her body and the two parts began to meld together.

"Sure." I nodded in sympathy. I'd lost a hand when I was a newborn and it hurt like hell. "But don't worry, it won't last long."

I held Katherine's arm in place, wishing that I could somehow take away her pain. As I waited for her arm to reattach, I glanced around me. Jake had almost reached the riverbank and the nearby ground was scattered with writhing vampire body parts.

"I need to get this cleaned up." I spoke, almost to myself, but Kathy answered me. Her eyes were fixed on the river.

"Jake needs help."

She was right; Jacob was struggling to get Nessie's body onto the bank.

"Can you hold this in place?" I said hurriedly, and Kathy nodded and supported her arm as I released it. "It's almost mended."

"Leo, just _go_."

Without further argument I ran to the river's edge. Jake didn't have the leverage to get Nessie onto dry land. At least her head was above water. I leaned over the icy water and caught her under the arms, pulling her slender form onto the riverbank. Jake was also having trouble getting out of the river. The banks were steep and slippery, and there was no way for him to get a foothold.

"_Hold on!_" I yelled, catching him by the scruff of the neck and heaving him up.

That was all he needed to claw his way out of the torrent. The instant that Jake was out of the water he rushed to Nessie's side.

She was lying on the banks, gasping and shivering. Her eyes were closed and she hardly seemed aware of her surroundings. I knelt beside her and caught the distinctive scent of blood. My eyes swept her body, trying to source the flow. That was when I noticed a dark red stain seeping through her jacket, near the shoulder.

Jacob was whining in distress, pacing beside her, I knew that he could smell the blood too. I could only be grateful that I didn't find her blood particularly appealing. I tentatively pulled back her jacket and shirt, to discover where she'd been hurt. And that was when I saw a deep, crescent shaped bite on her shoulder.

I took a sharp intake of breath. "_Damn_." This didn't look good.

Looking up, I met Jake's eye. He may have been a wolf, but the horror on his face was unmistakeable. I wasn't sure what to do, but before I had to think of anything, I felt Kathy's hand on my shoulder, gently moving me aside.

"Here… let me."

She immediately knelt down and set to work, using her good arm. She rolled Nessie onto her side and stripped the shirt away from the wound, exposing her pale shoulder and the deep, red bite. I could tell, by the way that Kathy was biting her lip, that her own arm was hurting her, but she just kept it wrapped against her side and carried on as if nothing was wrong. She worked so quickly and confidently that I was surprised, until I remembered that she'd been a nurse.

Jake was standing above Nessie, and he was practically shaking with stress. Kathy glanced up and spoke gently.

"Jake, I need your help. Do you think you can phase?"

He whined and started pacing again. I wasn't sure if he was calm enough to make the change. I looked down at Kathy.

"Can I help?"

She met my eyes and jerked her head towards one of the dismembered limbs. Her voice was grim. "You know the drill."

"Sure." I nodded and stood up, turning to Jake and looking him in the eye. "I've got to clean up this mess, before we find ourselves fighting them again, but you need to help Kathy. You _have_ to phase back… you have to do it _now_."

He stopped in his tracks and took several deep breaths. I really felt for him. Jacob was trapped in his wolf form. He needed to help the girl he loved, but his extreme anxiety was making it almost impossible for him to return to his human self. Somehow, he managed to find his focus, because, a second later, the trembling stopped and he shifted into human form.

I could see the raw marks on his body where the steel cables had bitten into his skin, but Jake seemed unaware of them, as he pulled on his soaked, mud stained shorts, and fell to his knees by his girlfriend, calling out her name.

I quickly turned away and started gathering the moving pieces of vampire. Some of them were already squirming towards each other. I carefully piled all the limbs and torsos together, I grabbed all four heads by the hair, just to be sure that they weren't about to reconnect with their bodies. The head was always the most important part; a body couldn't be so dangerous if it didn't have a head to guide it.

I took a sadistic pleasure in crashing their faces together. I then placed all the heads in a neat row on the ground, facing the stack of bodies. I knew that they would understand what was going on. I wanted them to suffer for what they'd done.

"_Watch this,_" I said venomously, pulling my lighter from my pocket.

I lit the flame and held it against a dislocated finger, which was poking out of the pile. It took a second or two to catch alight, but, once it did, the flames quickly consumed it and rapidly spread across the mound. The heads now knew that there was going to be nothing left for them to connect to.

I then picked up the big guy's head, swinging him by his cropped hair, as I asked. "What do you think of _that?_" He didn't reply – he probably couldn't without his throat and lungs – he just glared at me with hate filled eyes, so I threw his head back on the ground. "You'll be last, _asshole_."

I wanted my vengeance for what he'd done to Kathy. I knew that she probably wouldn't approve of this behaviour, but she was too busy to notice my little ritual. In the background I could hear her frantically working to revive Nessie.

I lifted the heads of the vampires who'd had Jake tangled in steel cabling and tossed them onto the pyre, watching as their faces were turned into charred heaps of ash, smoke pouring out of their mouths and eye sockets.

I could see fear in the rat-faced vampire's eyes as I dangled him above the burning heap of garbage. It seemed that he was much braver when he was attacking an innocent young girl like Nessie. Where was his courage now? I only felt sorry that Jacob couldn't execute his demise, but he didn't have time for that – Nessie needed him more – so I did the best I could.

"This is for Red."

I dropped the head into the flames and enjoyed the sight of his long, oily hair catching fire as I held his gaze.

And then I lifted the final head, holding it with both hands and staring into those burning red eyes. So many things had happened to Kathy in the last fifty years, and I hadn't been able to protect her from any of them. But now, _this _time, someone was going to pay.

I could feel the hatred coursing through me as I leaned in close and snarled. "You thought you could touch her. I only wish I could kill _you_ twice."

I then turned his head on its side and prized open his mouth. Taking a firm hold on his jaw, I tore the jawbone right off his face, and tossed it into the fire, along with his lolling tongue. I looked down at the ruinous remains of his head, and felt pleased to know that he was still entirely conscious of what I was doing to him.

Taking one last look at his horrified eyes, I then proceeded to crush his skull with my fist. Once I had reduced his head to a smashed pulp, I let it fall into the fire, and watched as the flames consumed it.

Before I could do anything else, I had to circle the burning heap and check that no pieces had survived the blaze. I glanced across the frozen ground. Nothing had escaped and the vampires were steadily being reduced to ash.

It was only then, when I knew that the enemy had been entirely vanquished, that I could turn my back on the fire and leave it to billow thick, purple smoke into the sky.

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Just to say a massive thanks to last week's reviewers for their comments, and to the people who added this story to their lists. And an extra thanks to the people I couldn't PM, Olivia and the guest :)**

**Thank you for reading, have a lovely week,**

**Mad :)**


	50. Leo, a beating heart

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you to my lovely beta, willowbae, for all her help :)<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 50.<strong>

**Leo – a beating heart**

How had it come to this?

In the last few hours I had experienced the kind of anxiety that was usually only experienced by humans; and now I was sitting outside in a blizzard, listening intently, counting the beats of a heart which was fighting for survival. But even that was easier than actually being inside the tent, where the pain and apprehension were so acute that I could almost taste them.

Time seemed to be travelling on two loops, because although everything had flashed past in a terrifying blur, the seconds still ticked by so slowly that I felt as if I had been waiting forever. Waiting and praying. Definitely praying, it seemed as if I'd made up for a lifetime's abstention in a single day.

When I returned to Kathy and Jacob; little Red was lying on the frozen ground, soaked to the skin, semi-conscious and struggling for breath. The second I saw her; I knew that something was very wrong.

Kathy had torn Nessie's shirt away from her shoulder to expose the vampire's bite. The pierced holes stood out, deep and black against her white skin, and I could see that the veins connected to the wound had already turned purple where the venom was spreading. Neither Kathy, nor Jake, noticed my arrival; they were too busy trying to revive her. I leaned over them anxiously, and tried to make a helpful suggestion.

"Can't we suck the venom out of her?"

I had been told the story of Bella and the tracker, and so I knew that it was possible. I wasn't sure if I had the restraint needed, but I was willing to give it a shot, if no one else could face doing it. I knew that Kathy and Jake would pull me away, if I lost control. Kathy glanced up with an agonised expression and shook her head.

"No, it's too late." She sounded hopeless. "The venom has already spread too far. She was in the water for too long."

Jake was holding Nessie's hand; he leaned forward and pressed his forehead against her fingers. He seemed to be unaware of anything but her, and when he finally spoke, his voice was choked with emotion.

"I'm sorry… I should have gotten to you sooner… I'm so sorry…"

I took a long look at Red. I had seen the change enough times to know that she didn't look like someone who was turning – yet. She looked more like a person who had been poisoned. Her body appeared to be fighting the venom. Her skin was completely devoid of colour and her lips were tinted a faint shade of blue. Her wet hair trailed in dark tendrils across the ground and clung to her snowy shoulders. She was straining for air, taking panting gasps of oxygen.

Jake stroked her arm helplessly. "She's so cold. She's never cold…"

Kathy answered. "Her body's probably gone into shock. We need to get her out of those wet clothes, before she freezes to death." At least Katherine was thinking in practical terms, which was more than I could say for myself. She turned to me. "Maybe you could pitch a tent and find Nessie's sleeping bag; we need to get her warm."

I left the huddle and swiftly collected all the backpacks – including mine, which had been dumped on the other side of the river – and set to work. Jacob had the biggest tent, so I used his. I also found his sleeping bag. I thought that Red would need as much warmth as we could provide. Pitching the tent didn't take long; at least with modern tents, you didn't have to spend too much time messing around with poles and hammers.

As soon as I was done, Jacob lifted Nessie's shivering body and placed it inside. Kathy wasted no time in crawling into the tent beside her, and stripping off Nessie's freezing clothes and wrapping her in the dry sleeping bags. While this was happening, I pitched a second, smaller tent nearby. I figured we could use the extra shelter. I threw all the backpacks into it, just as Katherine called out.

"Jacob, get in here. Nessie needs to be warmed up."

Within seconds, Jake was inside the big tent, with his arms wrapped around the shivering girl. Kathy tucked the sleeping bags more tightly around Nessie's body, in an effort to keep her warm.

It was pretty crowded inside the tent, so most of the time I waited outside. Dark snow clouds gathered above us, obscuring the last of the daylight, and I felt the first flakes begin to fall. I could only be thankful that Red was inside, protected from the snow and the biting wind.

I could have gone into the other tent, but it was impossible to tear myself away. So I just stayed where I was, waiting and listening. I could still hear the humming of Nessie's heart, and I listened intently for any change in its pace. Every wheezing breath that she took seemed to be a strain. Every now and then I would squeeze myself inside with the others, to check on her condition.

The evening slowly crept over us. I had been outside for a while, and I decided that it was time to take another look. I brushed the snow off myself, before unzipping the tent flap and crawling into the tent. Katherine quickly scooted up to make room for me, but I could see that all her concentration was fixed on the sick girl.

Jacob continued to hold Nessie tightly, and cradle her limp hand to his cheek. Kathy glanced at him, her face taut with anxiety.

"What do you see, Jake? How conscious is she?"

"She's not making any sense. She's confused." He met her gaze with a harrowed expression. "Just jumbled images and fear…" His voice was momentarily suspended. "And pain."

Kathy's eyes flickered towards me and I saw my own feelings reflected in her face. I knew what she was thinking, because I was thinking the same thing. There was nothing like the feeling of venom, as it burned through your veins and seared you from the inside. A branding iron would have been pleasant in comparison. Whether or not she was turning, Red must have been suffering. And it was likely to get worse, before it got any better.

This knowledge must have fuelled the guilt that drove Katherine to suddenly burst out. "God, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. I should never have brought her to Alaska."

Jake glanced up and shook his head. "No, it isn't. You've been a good friend to Nessie. They would have tried to get to her wherever she was. I just didn't look after her properly. She wouldn't be here if I'd been paying more attention. She was afraid to come to me with the truth, and it put her in danger. This happened because of me, because I let her down…"

"No… Jake," Kathy choked miserably. "Don't say that, it's not true. She wasn't afraid to come to you; she only wanted to protect you from all her family crap. And if you guys hadn't followed us here, I can't imagine what would have happened."

I didn't see the point of throwing myself into this conversation. They were so immersed in self-blame that nothing I could say would ever convince them that they were both wrong. But I knew the truth, even if they didn't.

It was _my_ fault.

I had known deep in my heart that Nessie was in danger. I had known it before I even arrived in Forks. My inner voice had screamed a warning on the night that I'd heard about Jasper's slip. But once I got to Denali, I had let my feelings for Kathy override my instincts. Instead of getting us the hell out of this place, I had delayed. I had tried to prolong our time in Alaska, so that I could spend a few more days chasing a girl who wasn't remotely interested in me.

I'd been a stupid, selfish asshole. And I had committed the final, unforgiveable sin of splitting away from my friends, leaving them vulnerable to a brutal attack from a pack of bloodthirsty predators. I couldn't even pretend that it had been Kathy's fault for making me go. I had provoked a senseless argument and given her no choice. I had forced her hand with fatal consequences.

And now little Red was paying the price for my failure. I wished that fate had delivered its punishment to the right person. It should have been me. I'd had so much time, far more than I deserved, and Nessie wasn't even eighteen. Glancing around the tent, I could tell that Jacob and Kathy felt the same way. Any one of us would have exchanged places with her in a heartbeat.

My eyes dropped to Nessie's frail form. She looked like a child, bundled up in sleeping bags, wrapped in Jacob's arms. As I gazed upon her, I felt an unfamiliar pang in my heart. That's all she was, just a kid. How the hell had she got mixed up in all of this? She should have been gossiping with her friends, wasting her time in front of the TV, forgetting to do her homework… not shivering on the ground in a cruel wilderness, fighting for her life.

A sudden thought struck to me. I looked up sharply. "Do you realise that those were the same vampires I was tracking from California?"

Kathy glanced at me. She seemed genuinely surprised. "Really?"

"Yeah, I recognised their scents, though I have no idea who they were."

She gave a humourless smile. "They were Volturi."

"_WHAT?_" I exploded. "_Are you serious?_"

_Holy crap!_ Was she telling me that we'd just killed four of the Volturi guard?

I then asked the most obvious question. "Who were they after? Was it Red?"

"Yeah." She replied bitterly. Jake hugged Nessie closer, and Kathy added without looking up. "She and Jake recognised them. We never heard the juniors' names, but one of the seniors in the group, the big guy, was called Felix. And the leader, the one who bit Nessie, was called Demetri..."

"_Demetri!_" I exclaimed in disbelief. "No way!"

This was getting surreal.

She lifted her dark eyebrows and gave me a quizzical look. "Is that significant?"

"Hell yeah! It is to me." It was hard to explain to Katherine the reputation that Demetri had amongst trackers. He was a total legend. "The guy was infamous. He was the most powerful tracker around. No one could touch him, he could find _anyone!_"

Jacob wasn't really paying attention to our conversation, but Kathy looked taken aback. "Really?"

"Absolutely. Demetri's powers were notorious. Once he had a fix on someone, he could find them anywhere, for the rest of their life."

If it hadn't been for the horror of our situation, I would have been gloating about the fact that I had thrown the conceited bastard onto a bonfire. I guess he was a better tracker than he was a fighter. I fell silent for a moment, considering the implications of his death, and finally shook my head.

"That's quite a loss for the Volturi."

Kathy shuddered. "But lucky for us."

She was right. The Volturi would have trouble hunting anyone down without a decent tracker, especially since they preferred to stay in their ivory tower, far above trash like us. That was great news as far as I was concerned. They could stay in Volterra and rot. Another thought occurred to me and I frowned.

"It'd probably be better if we didn't advertise what happened here." Much as I would have liked to brag about taking down members of the Volturi guard, it probably wasn't the best idea in the world. "I don't think that any of us need a Volturi vendetta hanging over our heads. 'Lost without trace' is probably the best way to go."

"That's fine by me." She nodded in agreement and fell silent.

I mulled over this new piece of information. It seemed that the Volturi had sent some big guns after Nessie. What on earth had she done to warrant a death sentence? They must have wanted it pretty badly to send such senior guards to this remote place. Maybe being the Cullen's daughter was enough.

From what I'd heard about the history between the two covens, it shouldn't have surprised me that the Volturi wanted to extract their revenge on the Cullens, and what better way to do so than by slaughtering their beloved child. It seemed that some very powerful forces had converged on one young girl. No wonder she had been crushed under the weight.

God, I _hated _those bastards.

Whatever happened here, if I ever encountered another member of the Volturi again, I wouldn't hesitate to kill them. As far as I was concerned, there would be no mercy for that treacherous scum.

Not now. Not ever.

As these vengeful feelings coursed through me, I was still listening intently to Nessie's heart. At first I thought it might be my imagination, but I quickly realised that her heart rate was definitely slowing. I glanced at the others.

"Do you hear that?"

Jake was beyond words, but Kathy answered me. "Yes." She frowned. "I guess we can be thankful."

"What do you mean?" It didn't seem like a good sign to me.

"It would be worse if it was starting to accelerate."

I saw Jacob flinch and realised that Kathy was right. No one wanted Nessie to turn. I had only created one vampire and had regretted it ever since. I would _never_ wish that doom onto Red.

I knew that Katherine would agree with me, it was obvious how she felt about it. She would say that Nessie's soul was worth more than her body. That to escape into eternal life was better than to fall into shadow. If I had given Katherine the choice all those years ago, she would have chosen death rather than what I'd dealt her. And she would choose the same for Nessie.

And as for Jacob, I didn't know if he would want Nessie to survive as a vampire. But I was sure that if she was turned, it would cause him immeasurable pain, and if she died, his happiness, his whole _future, _would be completely annihilated.

But while her heart was beating, there was still hope.

It just needed to keep going...

But all the time, its rate was becoming infinitesimally slower. Struggling, _fighting_ for life. I could hear in every laboured breath just how hard she was battling. Her skin was white and clammy, and she was still panting for air. Red didn't want to give in to the venom that was creeping through her veins, poisoning her body, inch by inch. I had no idea if it had reached her heart, or what would happen when it did.

Jake still held her hand against his cheek. His focused expression made it clear that he was keeping track of her thoughts. I couldn't tell exactly how conscious she was, but he must have been getting something from her, because all the time he was murmuring in her ear, words laced with pain and regret.

"You don't have to look for me, honey… I'm here… I'm not going anywhere… _I trust you_..."

As he spoke, Katherine just watched her friend with a look of fierce concentration. Sometimes I could read Kathy pretty well and this was one of those times, I could almost hear her counting the beats of Nessie's heart. After a while, I saw her expression change, and a fleeting look of despair crossed her features. She shook her head and continued to listen. Within moments I noticed the change that she had somehow already discerned.

Nessie's heart was starting to falter.

Jacob glanced threw a quick, frightened glance at Katherine. She met his gaze with an anguished one of her own.

His voice was full of panic. "What's happening? What's happening to her?"

Kathy shook her head desolately. "I don't know. I'm not sure if she's strong enough for this… you have to prepare yourself."

"_Prepare_ myself?"

He looked confused. I didn't blame him. There was no way that Jake was going to be able to face what she was trying to tell him. Hell, I could hardly face it and Nessie wasn't the centre of my entire universe.

Katherine spoke very gently. "Jacob… I don't know if she's going to make it."

My dead heart sunk into my boots. I had heard some pretty depressing things in my time, but this one was definitely up there with the worst of them. I couldn't imagine how these words would make Jacob feel. For a second, it seemed as if he hadn't heard her at all. This possibility was too shocking for him to grasp. When he finally answered, he almost sounded angry.

"_No…_" He shook his head defiantly, but a note of fear still crept into his voice. "No… she's going to make it… she _can't_ die…"

Kathy didn't bother to contradict Jacob. She was only trying to warn, not hurt, him. Jake looked down at Nessie with an anguished expression, and hugged her closer to his chest in a protective gesture, as if he was going to refuse to relinquish her when death came to make its claim. He clung to her with an unmistakeable desperation. His raw pain was so close to the surface that I had to look away.

This wasn't the kind of death that I was used to handling. I was perfectly equipped to deal with death that followed adrenalin filled chases and violent clashes, where my thoughts were dulled by my deep instinct to kill. But I less familiar with this slow agony, when I could only feel completely and utterly powerless.

I was surprisingly close to losing it. Watching Nessie slip away, and knowing that there wasn't a damn thing that I could do about it, was pushing me nearer to the edge than I had been in years.

It was a shock to realise that the last time that I had felt anything approaching this helpless was half a century ago, when Kathy had turned. I'd watched her lying on the forest floor, screaming in agony, covered in dirt and dry blood. She had begged for death. I could still remember the way she had implored me to kill her and end the burning. I had listened to every beat of her heart, as it lost the battle to save her humanity…

I shuddered and thrust those memories away from myself. I had to keep it together for Jake and Kathy. The last thing they needed was to have me falling apart, especially as this had to be so much worse for either of them than it was for me. Katherine was closer to Red than I was, and she was a far more compassionate person than me. And this situation was nothing short of a living nightmare for Jacob.

Jake still had his eyes fixed on Nessie, his voice pleading. "Isn't there something we can do? _Anything…?_"

"Jake." Kathy answered gently. "I just don't think she's strong enough to pull through. She's not a full vampire."

"How do we make her stronger?"

Jacob met Katherine's eyes with a fierce desperation. He was really clutching at straws. How in the hell could we make Red stronger? But his need to save her was overriding all logic. Kathy tried to humour him. She gave a meditative frown, and then her expression suddenly became intent.

"We need to strengthen the vampire in her; it's the only thing that can fight the venom."

"How do we do that?"

Kathy glanced at me. A flicker of understanding passed between us and I answered for her. "_Blood_."

Jake turned to me. "Blood?"

"If you want a vampire at their full strength, you feed them. If she's conscious enough to drink, we should try giving her blood. It might give her the extra boost she needs to fight the venom."

"We should try it." Kathy nodded in agreement. "At this point I'd say there's nothing to lose. If we do nothing..." She petered off, unable to finish the sentence with 'she'll die anyway', even though it was obvious that that's what she was thinking.

I was still sitting just in the entrance of the tent, and I quickly started to move. Someone had to hunt for prey, and the other two needed to stay with Nessie.

"I should get going now." I glanced at Kathy apologetically. "It might take a while, our fight would have scared off all the game within a twenty mile radius, and the snow won't help either." She met my gaze understandingly, and I asked. "How long do you think we've got?"

I didn't think that Jacob was really listening, but he suddenly spoke. "There's no time for that. She'll be dead before you get back." I was shocked by the bluntness of his statement, but before I could reply, he raised his dark eyes and fixed me with an intent look. "Can you get Nessie's knife? It's in her backpack."

For one awful moment, I thought that Jake had lost his mind and was planning to put Red out of her misery.

"What do you need it for?" I asked suspiciously.

I wasn't about to hand Jacob a lethal weapon, even if Nessie did have tough skin, he might still know how to get through it. Unless he was considering committing Hari-kari, which was the last thing that anyone needed him to do.

He glared at me. "She needs blood right _now_, and she's going to get it. It will be easier to convince her to feed if the blood's already flowing."

I finally understood what Jacob planned to do. As ideas went, it was a fairly logical one. Shapeshifter blood would be as good as any other; maybe even better than most, at least it was vaguely human and, for all we knew, it might even possess a helpful touch of magic. But Katherine didn't sound so sure.

"Jake are you out of your mind? Nessie wouldn't want to feed on _you_, she might kill you."

"That's why it's good you're here," he replied stubbornly. "You can stop her before she takes too much."

"It's too risky…"

He fired an angry glance in her direction. "I don't care if she takes everything, _dammit!_ There isn't time to wait. It's this way or nothing!"

"But…"

"Kathy," I interrupted. "Jake's right, there's no other way. He _needs_ to do this…"

I caught her eye with a very pointed look. There was no way that Jacob could sit by and do nothing, and he would rather give his last drop of blood, than watch Nessie die without trying to save her. He needed to try. If he didn't, it would kill him anyway. Kathy finally seemed to understand, because her gaze fell in acquiescence and she said quietly.

"Leo, get the knife."

I nodded and hurried across to the smaller tent, where the backpacks were stashed. It was already covered in snow and I was glad that I'd left it zipped up, keeping everything dry inside. After a few moments rifling through Nessie's pack, I found the knife along with her wooden 'moose'. Something about the sight of her childish carving made me catch my breath. I shoved it back into her pack with a shaking hand.

_Please, God, don't let her die._

Geez, I was praying again. Things had to be looking pretty bad for that to happen.

I snapped myself out of it, and took a quick look around for anything else that might be useful. I spotted Nessie's full water bottle and carried it outside with me, along with her knife. The knife looked fairly clean, but I still wiped it with some snow, before pulling out my lighter and running the blade through the flames. Once this was done, I returned to the others. I climbed into the tent, and handed the knife to Jacob.

"I cleaned it."

Jake took it from me with a grim nod. "Thanks." There was a purposeful look in his eyes as he asked. "Can you handle it when the blood starts flowing? Or do you need to go outside?"

I hadn't been able to stomach feeding on humans for half a century, and I wasn't about to lose control over someone who smelled as unappetizing as Jacob. Anyway, we'd all been hunting in the last couple of days, so I wasn't hungry.

"I'll be fine."

"Good." He turned to Kathy. "I'm guessing you'll be ok."

She nodded. "Sure, it won't be a problem. I'll help you." Her gaze flitted towards me. "We both will." She then added with a grave expression. "But Jacob, if things get out of hand, you have to know that I _will_ intervene. I'm not going to watch you kill yourself. However you might feel about it, Nessie wouldn't want that."

"Fine, but just give me a chance."

"Alright, let's do this. I'll hold Nessie; you do what you have to do." As Jake handed Nessie's semi-conscious, shivering form to her, Kathy gave me a very fixed look. "Hold your breath, and get ready."

Her eyes quickly indicated to Jake, whose whole attention was still absorbed with making Nessie comfortable in her arms. There was no mistaking her message. Kathy needed to know that I was prepared to step in and drag Jacob away from Nessie if his life was in danger. I gave a subtle nod and replied casually.

"I'm ready whenever you are."

I could see her relief, as she gave me a tense smile and waited for Jake to make the cut. It was an act of supreme trust for Jacob to allow his blood to flow in a tent containing two vampires, either that, or it was an act of total desperation. He really didn't care about himself at all, it was clear that he would do _anything_ to save the girl he loved, even risk being attacked by Kathy and me.

I took Katherine's advice and held my breath as Jake put the knife to his wrist and make a small puncture with the sharp tip of the blade. I tried not to fixate on the blood, which instantly appeared. My throat immediately started to burn, but I wasn't about to lose control. I gave Kathy a quick glance; of course her golden eyes were on Nessie. I don't think she even noticed Jacob's blood. All those years working as a nurse were really paying off.

As a small red line trickled down his wrist, towards his hand, Jacob moved closer to Nessie. He gently slipped his good hand behind her head, lifting her slightly, as he held his dripping arm over her mouth. I couldn't stop myself from watching the tempting liquid, as it dripped steadily between her lips. At this point a stronger flash of thirst burned in my throat and I forced myself to look away.

From the corner of my eye, I was still completely aware of what was happening. In spite of her delirious state, Red's inner vampire finally emerged. As Jake pressed his wrist to her lips, I heard what had to be every vampire's favourite sound, the wet crunch of sharp teeth cutting through human skin.

It must have been painful for Jake, but he took it with no more than a sharp intake of breath. My eyes flickered towards Nessie. Her eyes were closed and her mouth was suckered onto his arm, as she took instinctive gulps of her boyfriend's blood. I took it as a good sign that she was able to drink at all.

Once I saw that she was really feeding, I turned my eyes to Jacob's face, and listened to his heart. Concentrating on his vital signs seemed like a good idea at a time like this, and it made for a perfect distraction from what was actually happening.

I tried not to think about the blood. Kathy was doing the opposite; she never took her eyes off Nessie's mouth, it was as if she was accounting for every gulp. She didn't look thirsty though; her eyes were full of concentration, rather than longing. She seemed to be calculating exactly how much Nessie was taking. It wasn't long before Jake began to look slightly pale, but he didn't try to pull away. Katherine, however, had other ideas.

"That's enough, Jake." Her voice was kind, but firm.

He shook his head, speaking between gritted teeth. "No… I'm fine… just a little more..."

Her eyes flashed to my face, it was time for that intervention. I moved a little closer, subtly positioning myself to yank him away, as Kathy tried one last time to do things the nice way.

"You have to stop now, you've given enough. If that doesn't do it, nothing will." She fixed him with a compelling look, but her voice remained low and steady. "How will Nessie feel if she wakes up to find you dead? She won't survive without you, Jake. _Please_…" she whispered. "Stop now…"

She reached out and gently took hold of Nessie's chin, ready to ease her mouth away from his wrist. For a moment Jake looked as if he was going to resist, and I readied myself, but after a moment he sighed and allowed Katherine to free him from Nessie's sharp teeth. It was a relief to know that I wasn't going to have to drag Jake away from Red. I couldn't think of a more likely way to injure her, than to start a brawl with Jacob inside the tent.

When he was finally free, Jake fell back, covering his wrist with his hand, taking long gasps of air. He looked exhausted and slightly sick, but he never took his eyes off Nessie. He hardly seemed aware of his own condition. Every thought, every ounce of his energy, was focused on her. I handed him the water bottle.

"Have a drink."

He reached out and took it from me gratefully. "Thanks."

I silently moved back, to give him some space.

As Jacob drank some water, Kathy wiped Nessie's mouth clean and moved her into a more comfortable position. We all waited as the minutes ticked by. Jake sat beside her, gently stroking her arm, speaking quiet words of encouragement and love. I don't know if this was for her sake, or just to keep himself calm, but whatever the reason, it was probably a good idea.

I was relieved to see that he really did have remarkable powers of recuperation. Not only had the deep marks made by the Volturi's steel cables completely vanished from his skin, but he was already looking fairly recovered from considerable recent blood loss. The colour was returning to his cheeks and although he still looked tired and stressed, he no longer looked sick.

He intermittently raised Nessie's hand to his cheek, watching her thoughts, as she lay in a semi-conscious and restless state. At first I could not detect any improvement in her condition. But I was relieved that there was no obvious deterioration either. As she was clearly balancing on a knife-edge, it seemed that no news was better than bad news.

Nessie gradually quietened and, after a while, her delirious fidgeting ceased altogether, as she slipped into what appeared to be a deep sleep. When this happened, her wheezing finally stopped. She was lying flat on the ground, still bundled in the sleeping bags; with her head resting on Kathy's rolled up jacket. Her eyes were closed and her expression tranquil. Her chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm, as all the tortuous strain disappeared.

Jacob reached for her hand and lifted it to his face.

Kathy was the first to speak. "What do you see?"

He tilted his head with a slightly anxious frown. "Nothing… she's completely out."

"Don't worry," Katherine reassured him. "I don't think that's a bad sign. It's probably better than being delirious and in pain."

"Are you sure?" He sounded doubtful.

Kathy looked up, and for the first time, her expression was genuinely hopeful. "Listen to her heart, Jake. She may be unconscious, but she's already sounding better. Can't you hear it?"

I listened and realised that she was right. I could hear a steady beat. Nessie's heart already sounded stronger than it had a few minutes earlier. Jake was also listening, and he looked as if he could hardly believe it. He met Kathy's gaze warily, as if he hardly dared hope.

"She does sound stronger." He rested his hand on her forehead. "She's not so cold either."

I nodded. "She's breathing easier too."

Kathy, who was always the voice of reason, replied cautiously. "Well, they're all good signs, but we can't get carried away just yet."

There was no fear of anyone getting carried away, not when Red was still looking so much like a corpse, or should I say, looking so much like a vampire. But I could tell that these small improvements had put some heart into all of us. We continued to wait as her breathing remained steady and, little by little, her natural colour returned.

Jacob kept a close watch on Nessie's thoughts, but he said that he could see nothing. She was under too deep. Kathy said that he should talk to her, that it might help to bring her back. So Jacob kept talking, quietly letting her know that he was with her. Kathy occasionally spoke to Nessie too. I kept my mouth firmly shut; I didn't think that I was the kind of person who would make anyone want to wake up.

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**I always prefer to say if there is going to be any change to the posting schedule. I feel very lucky to I have a number of regular readers and I like to keep you informed. :) **

**Ideally, I try to post a weekly chapter, but I have hit a frustrating dilemma. I am currently working on a number of later chapters, which are demanding an unusual amount of work, because they're rather involved.**

**So, I can either carry on posting weekly, and then run out of chapters, leaving what could be a very long break before the final chapters are posted. Or I could change to posting fortnightly, and give myself less chance of running out of chapters. **

**My instincts tell me that it would be less disruptive to post fortnightly, and avoid a really long break later on. Of course, if I get things sorted, then I will move back to a weekly posting.**

**So my plan, for the time being, is to put up a chapter every two weeks. I will keep Saturday as my posting day, and the next chapter will go up on Saturday 27th October. **

**I am really sorry to do this, and thank you in advance for your patience.**

**Apart from that, I just want to say a massive thank you to last week's reviewers (including bia and the guest) and also a thanks to everyone who added this story to their lists. :)**

**Thank you for reading, have a great fortnight. **

**See you in two weeks, Mad :)**


	51. Leo, success and failure

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

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><p><strong>As always, a big thank you to my wonderful beta, willowbae :)<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 51.<strong>

**Leo – success and failure**

The night wore on, and I went outside to take a look around and check that the coast was clear. The snow was still falling, not as heavily as it had been, but still enough to make the visibility very poor. I couldn't have seen a far off threat, even if I had wanted to. So, instead of trying to see if anything was coming, I listened to my instincts.

They told me that the danger had past. My logic agreed with them. I had only tracked four vampires travelling north and I didn't believe that any others had joined them. The Volturi would have been reluctant to make themselves conspicuous by sending more. I could have been wrong, but my inner voice told me that I wasn't.

I didn't have much else to do outside, except brush the snow off the tents. But once that was done, I stayed outside in the night, staring through the thousands of snowflakes, towards the darkened hills. I thought that my absence would allow the others a little more room to move inside the tent, and I was feeling edgy and wanted to stretch my legs.

I paced back and forth beside our small campsite, all the time listening to Nessie's breathing and heartbeat. It was reassuring to hear that they both sounded regular. As I walked, Kathy and Jake maintained a quiet conversation, and continued to speak to Nessie.

After a couple of hours on my feet, I poked my head into the tent to see how things were progressing. Nessie was still unconscious, but appeared to be in a stable condition. Both Jake and Kathy looked completely drained. I knew that it would be impossible to drag Jake away from Nessie, but I thought that Katherine might be persuaded to take a breather; she certainly looked as if she needed one.

"Hey Kathy, why don't you get some air? I can sit with Jake and Red."

She seemed a little uncertain, until Jake backed me up. "Yeah Katherine, you should take a break."

"Ok, that would be good." She quickly crawled out of the tent. As she passed through the flap she gave me a slightly cryptic smile. "You're on duty… good luck."

"Yes, ma'am."

Once outside, she glanced back and said to Jake. "I'm right here if you need me, ok."

"Sure, thanks Katherine."

I went to sit beside Jake and Nessie. I was pleased to see that she was definitely looking better; her skin was less pallid and she seemed peaceful. The sight of her eased my most immediate concerns. Jake still looked pretty shattered though. When he glanced up, I caught his eye.

"How are you doing?"

He was far beyond the point of trying to keep up appearances and answered truthfully. "I don't know. Right now, I can't see anything beyond what she's going through."

"That's hardly surprising." I took a long look at the unconscious girl. "It's good that she's got you here."

Jacob reached out and gently stroked her hair. "I was born to protect her." His voice sounded hoarse. "What if I've failed? What if she doesn't make it?"

When he finally looked up, I saw the raw pain in his eyes and my heart went out to him. I tried to say something encouraging.

"Don't worry, Red's stubborn. And she's really doing well, she'll pull through."

"I wish I could do more..." He shook his head despairingly.

"You've already done the most important thing. If you hadn't given her that blood, she'd never have made it this far. Kathy and I couldn't have done that for her."

"What if it wasn't enough?"

I spoke firmly. "It will be."

Jake turned back to his girlfriend and wound his fingers through hers, lifting her small hand to his lips. "I can't live without her…"

I sat quietly for a moment, watching them. I'd always thought of Red as being very young, but that was the moment when I realised that Jacob was too. He was young enough to be my great-grandson and, unlike me, he hadn't spent decades steeped in death and sin. He was honourable and good, just like Nessie. True love and happiness were invented for people like them. They had a real shot at something precious. That thought alone was enough to make me say.

"You won't have to live without her. She's going to make it."

The note of grim determination in my voice surprised even me. Nessie loved Jake, she was going to stay alive for him, and that was that. Oddly, Jake seemed to take comfort in my bold statement and nodded quietly, while holding her hand.

"Yeah… ok."

We waited patiently as the night wore on. Kathy and I sometimes switched places, one of us staying with Nessie and Jake, while the other stood outside on unofficial guard duty. There didn't really seem to be a threat, but it was a good way to kill time. Nessie's condition remained stable, but she was still unconscious. Jacob continued to talk to her and monitor her thoughts, routinely lifting her hand to his face, but there was nothing to see.

A short time after dawn, there was finally a change. I was in the tent and Kathy was standing just outside. Jake raised Nessie's hand, and when it touched his cheek, his eyes suddenly became intent and his grip on her fingers tightened.

"Jake," I whispered urgently. "What is it?"

He didn't answer for a second, but then he turned to me. "She's dreaming…" I could see the hope in his eyes. "I can see it… she's in the forest back home. The pain is gone."

At this moment Katherine unzipped the tent flap and crawled in beside Jacob. "Can I take a look?"

He held Nessie's fingers against her cheek. Kathy was quiet, watching Red's thoughts. I could see the tension leave her face. Her relief was unmistakeable.

"Thank God." She sighed and pulled away, smiling at Jake. "Keep talking to her, she's likely to hear you now."

Keeping Nessie's hand firmly clasped in his own, he rested his forehead against her fingers and spoke to her in the same way he had been all night. Within a few minutes he raised his head, with an eager expression.

"She can hear me. She knows I'm here." He turned back to her and spoke tenderly. "I'm not going anywhere… come back to me, sweetheart…"

It wasn't long before her eyelids fluttered and she gave a small sigh. Jacob gently stroked her cheek and she finally spoke in a dry whisper.

"Jake."

"I'm here, honey." The tone of his voice spoke volumes. His extreme relief and deep love resonated in every word. "It's ok, I'm with you."

Her eyes remained closed as she answered him sleepily. "Tired…"

"Just sleep, ok. I'll be right beside you." He slowly placed her arm into a comfortable position across her body and softly kissed her forehead, whispering. "I love you."

It suddenly occurred to me that I was intruding on a private moment. I quickly glanced away and found myself staring straight into a pair of beautiful golden eyes. Katherine met my gaze unflinchingly.

"I was going to get some air. Do want to come?"

I nodded. "Sure."

I appreciated her motives. Now that the immediate danger was past, Jake probably needed a little quiet time with Nessie, without an audience. I told him that we'd stay close and followed Kathy outside. Just before leaving, I took one last look at Red. I could hardly believe how relieved I felt to see her looking so much better. I said a silent, but heartfelt, 'thank you' that our prayers were being answered and climbed out of the tent.

It had finally stopped snowing. A soft white blanket covered our battleground, hiding all scars of the conflict. The remains of the bonfire were buried under a thick layer of snow, and drifts had formed beside the tents. The heavy grey clouds were finally lifting. The early morning sun shone bright beams of light through the clouds. The rays reflected on the snow, right across the plain.

Katherine and I strolled silently to the riverbank and we found ourselves on the very spot where Red had been bitten by the tracker. Everything looked so different that it was hard to believe that it was less than a day since she had plunged into the icy water.

We stood on the banks of the river without speaking, just watching the dark torrent. In the fight with the Volturi, and its immediate aftermath, the situation had been too urgent, too serious, for any uneasiness between Katherine and me. Circumstances had forced us to put aside our differences. But now that the crisis had abated, suddenly everything felt awkward between us.

Our final argument still hung in the air, and although it was clear that no one was going to mention it, the stiff silence made it painfully obvious that neither of us had forgotten our bitter parting. I hardly knew what to say. I certainly had no intention of raising the subject, but I still wanted Kathy to know that she didn't need to worry. I would never cross her boundaries again.

She might not have realised it, but really I understood how she felt about me and why she felt it. I remembered everything that she'd said, and I had taken it all on board. Among other things, she had told me never to touch her. I'd ignored that when reattaching her arm, but it was an emergency and I'd had no choice. As the emergency was now over, I had no intention of ever touching her again.

I wanted to respect her wishes and keep my vow. I had promised that if I was allowed to save Kathy that I would never ask her for anything. I had sworn that I would leave her alone. My request had been granted and now it was time to fulfil my part of the bargain.

I stood back, keeping a reasonable distance between us. And, although I was unable to say the words, I hoped that Katherine would get the message and understand, that whatever else she thought of me, I was capable of treating her decently and staying out of her personal space.

All the time her eyes were fixed on the river and her dark brows were drawn into a deep frown. She suddenly shook her head, as if she was trying to dispel an uncomfortable thought. I spoke cautiously.

"Hey, are you ok?"

She lifted her eyes to mine with a weary smile. "You'd have thought, that after all those years working as a nurse, it would get easier."

I gave her a sympathetic look. "It was a tough night for everyone, but it was lucky that you were here, at least you knew what you were doing. And you kept your head when it counted."

She rallied herself. "So, I did better than the Volturi?"

I was surprised by this cryptic joke and couldn't quite suppress my smile. "I guess so."

She cocked an eyebrow. "Nice work, by the way. It's good to know you've still got it."

I couldn't fool myself into thinking that Kathy was impressed that I was still really good at killing. There was a world of difference between understanding my usefulness in a particular situation, and approving of my behaviour in general. She was too smart to be anything but disgusted by the way in which I operated. The only thing I could say in my defence was that, for once in my life, I had done it for the right reasons. I answered her dubious compliment with a light shrug.

"You're right, I haven't changed."

I suddenly realised that I was echoing Katherine's own words. She'd said that very thing to me, before ordering me to leave. I hadn't meant anything by it and I hoped that she wouldn't notice my slip. But the way she averted her gaze, and shifted uneasily, made it obvious that she had made the connection. She probably thought that I had said it deliberately, just to put her at a disadvantage.

There was no point in trying to explain myself. It would only make the whole situation even more embarrassing than it already was. We were both trying so hard to keep things polite, that it would be futile to bring up the past, even though it felt like a tangible presence, standing between us.

Katherine sighed and absently tucked a loose wave of hair behind her ear, before turning her back on the river. She started walking towards the campsite, and I noticed her rubbing her upper arm. I was worried that it was still giving her pain, so I followed her.

"Does it hurt?"

"No, it's much better, thanks." She glanced over her shoulder and threw me a small smile. "A little stiff maybe, but nothing to worry about."

"I'm sorry that I didn't get here sooner, I might have spared you that."

She stopped in her tracks, just a few feet away. "Are you kidding? We'd have been slaughtered if it wasn't for you."

A crease appeared in her brow and she tilted her head, as if she was deciding whether or not to ask a question.

I met her gaze. "What's wrong?"

"Why did you come back?" Her tone was guarded, rather than accusing, and she looked tense.

My best defence was the truth. "I had to. I realised that you were being followed by a tracking party."

Katherine's reaction was hard to read, she wasn't giving much away, and her voice was steady. "Did you sense them?"

I felt like a total idiot when I admitted exactly how badly I had failed. "Yeah, I did… but I ignored it. I knew that something wasn't right, I'd known it for days, but I was a jerk and told myself that everything was fine. It was only when I crossed their scent trails that I _finally_ got the message."

I prepared myself for Kathy's scorn, but she just nodded thoughtfully and said. "I know how you feel. It was the same for me. I knew that something was wrong, but I was confused, I thought… I…" She bit her lip in shame. "I didn't get it until they were actually _there_, right in front of me. I really screwed up."

It was a relief that Katherine hadn't instantly condemned me and I tried to lighten the strained atmosphere.

"So really, it's _your _fault. Well, that takes a load off my mind."

"Yeah, that's right." Kathy rolled her eyes, but her shoulders visibly relaxed. She dropped her gaze for a long moment, before taking a deep breath and looking up. "Thank you… for coming back."

Her words were awkward, stilted, as if she was thanking me because she had to. Her pride was telling her to treat me with civility, because she now felt under an obligation to me. That knowledge was unbelievably depressing. I hadn't come back as a favour. I'd come back because I'd wanted to. There were no strings attached. Kathy didn't owe me anything, least of all gratitude. My reply probably sounded slightly offhand, but it was the best that I could manage.

"Forget about it."

She nodded and fell silent. I wondered if she thought that I was now going to take advantage of her sense of indebtedness and demand that she put up with my presence, even though she obviously wanted me gone. For a moment, I was sorely tempted to just collect my backpack and go. But then I remembered that I _couldn't_, because Red was still weak and I wasn't free to walk away, however much I wanted to. That knowledge drove me to say.

"Listen, Kathy. You know that I'd leave now, if I could."

Katherine stiffened at my words and shot me a look of angry frustration. "You don't have to explain why you're still here, Leo." She took a steadying breath and spoke with slightly more control. "Nessie almost died. She's still sick. I know you can't leave."

She seemed pretty tense, so I replied slowly. "I was planning to stick around until she's better – or at least in a safe place."

"Good. I'm glad to hear it."

Whatever she claimed, Kathy didn't sound especially glad. She just sounded as if she was stoically facing a necessary evil. I decided to talk about something else, before I became even more depressed. There was a limit to how much reality my self-esteem could handle.

"How about you? What will you do when this is over? Will you stay in Denali with Nessie's cousins?"

"_No_." Katherine shook her head vehemently. "After everything that's happened, I just want to get the hell out of this place."

"I know what you mean." I really did, it made no logical sense, the tracking party was dead, but I would never rest easy in Denali again. "I'll never come back here."

"Me neither."

I found it strangely reassuring that Katherine felt the same way as me, like I wasn't being completely irrational. She continued speaking in a low voice, trying to reign in her bitterness.

"Anyway, if I go to Nessie's family now, they're bound to find out about the attack, and I wouldn't want to put them at risk. They'll be safer if they know nothing about it, just in case someone tries to pick their brains one day."

"True."

There was always a chance that someone would come looking, even if it was years into the future. Vampires had long memories and plenty of time, and the Volturi had a powerful mind reader calling the shots.

We wandered back to the tents. Kathy casually asked me where I would go, after I left Alaska. "Do you have any other trails to follow?"

"Not at the moment, thank God. I just want to get home. I've spent too much time away."

I thought about my weeks in the Californian forests, living in a fantasy where Katherine actually liked me, and shook my head. God, I was such a loser. I could only be grateful for the fact that she would never know how low I'd actually sunk.

Kathy picked up on my reference to home. "You share a house with your brother, right?"

"In a manner of speaking. The house belongs to Hal, but he lets me live there too. I guess he's hoping that one day I might actually pay him some rent."

She gave a wry smile. "He sounds like a nice guy."

I thought about my absentminded brother, always calm, always kind. "Yeah, he is. He's great."

"I'm sure he'll be glad to have you home," she said politely.

"He'll be even gladder when I tell him that he can come home too." I caught her surprised expression, and explained. "When I started tracking the Volturi in California, I told Hal to go stay with Brandon and Dominica. I thought he'd be safer there. I didn't want to leave him unprotected. Hal likes Brandon, but Dominica will be driving him crazy by now…"

Kathy already knew that the Volturi had killed one of my friends, but this was the first time that I had mentioned Dominica in front of her. I wasn't surprised to see her tense up at the name. I had expected that reaction.

Maybe it would have been better not to talk about Dominica, but there really seemed to be little point in concealing the truth. In spite of everything, she was still my friend and always would be. Dominica was a part of me and I wasn't prepared to pretend otherwise. If Kathy thought badly of me because of it, then it was a shame, but she already had such a low opinion of me, that it would hardly make a difference what else I added to the balance.

But, however Kathy felt about Dominica, she wasn't going to openly acknowledge any resentment – or even any recognition – when I spoke her name. She just continued to talk about Hal.

"I'm sure he'll be happy to know that the coast is clear."

I made a slight shift in the conversation, and asked. "How about you? Where will you go when this is over?"

She brushed her long fingers through her hair and shrugged. "I was thinking of staying in Seattle for a while. Get a job, find somewhere to live. I don't have many friends in the States, so it makes sense to stay near the ones I do have. You know how it is."

I didn't like the thought of Kathy once again having to strike out on her own. I wanted her to have friendship and a place where she could belong, so I nodded approvingly.

"I'm sure that Red would be happy for you to stick around, it's obvious how much she likes you." I then thought of everything that Nessie had been through and added. "She's going to need all the help she can get in dealing with what's happened."

"Tell me about it." Kathy sounded weary, which was exactly the way that I felt inside.

To be honest, I felt more than just weary. I felt tired, and jaded, and really, really old. And I had reached the point where, as much as I dreaded leaving Katherine, our relationship was so irreparably damaged that I just wanted our time in Alaska to be over. I wanted to get back to my old life and try to put everything that had happened here behind me.

It probably helped that I now knew we couldn't ever be friends. I finally understood that it was an impractical dream. Kathy didn't want to be friends with me, and I even if she did, there was no way that I could handle it. I would never be able to see her without wanting more. If we kept in touch, it would only be a matter of time before I broke my vow and started making demands. I needed to stay away from her, for both our sakes.

I realised that things were going to be difficult for us while Nessie was recovering. When she was better I would be able go home, but until then, I had to avoid another fight with Kathy. Thankfully, it seemed that Katherine had the same idea as me and was determined to try and get along, however much it cost her. I had a feeling that the next few days were going to a contest for who could be the most formally polite.

It didn't matter that I was a vampire; I could have sworn that I had a headache coming on.

It appeared that the only answer to our awkward situation was to take a practical approach and figure out a strategy where we could avoid each other's company as much as possible. I suggested that we take turns in patrolling the plain and standing guard by the campsite. I knew that this would be a good way to keep a physical distance between us. Kathy asked if I thought there was still a danger, and I told her the truth.

"No, I don't think so. I don't really sense any danger."

"Neither do I." She met my eyes with a guarded expression. "But, I guess it's better to play it safe, huh?"

I wasn't sure if Katherine had figured out my motives, but I still nodded confidently. "Sure, absolutely."

I was glad that she instantly agreed to my suggestion. I think she was probably relieved that I'd found a way to keep us apart. I was first out on patrol. I made a wide circuit of the surrounding area. The scent of the Volturi was still fairly strong and it was driving me crazy. But that was nothing to the stress that was still flowing through me, caused by what had happened to Red and the others. My nerves were on edge and I could feel a primitive anger simmering just beneath the surface.

Running in the cool midmorning air helped to burn off my lingering rage and clear my head. I stayed close enough that I would be able to hear Kathy's voice across the plain, if she suddenly needed to call me back. I felt a nagging sense of anxiety that Nessie was going to have a relapse and die, but her state remained stable while I was gone. When I returned, Katherine and I immediately switched places. She took patrol, while I stood by the campsite.

In some ways I preferred to stay close to Red, just in case something bad happened. But as soon as Kathy was gone, I started stressing that something was going to happen to her too. It was ridiculous, I knew that she was within easy reach – most of the time I could actually see her – but I was still scared that a threat was going to appear over the hills, before I could reach her.

My instincts very clearly told me that the coast was clear, but my heart was still filled with fear. I knew that it was crazy to allow myself to feel this way, especially since I would be letting her go for good within a matter of days, and so I ruthlessly crushed the feeling. I forced myself to think of other things, to listen to Nessie's breathing, to consider the changes in the weather, to watch for signs of snow, to think of anything but Kathy. For the most part, my efforts were fairly successful, and my anxiety gradually dulled.

While I was waiting, it occurred to me that Jacob might be feeling hungry. He hadn't eaten since the previous day and he had refused food when Kathy offered it during the night. But he still had the appetite of a horse, and Nessie was much better, so I figured that he might feel like eating again.

I went into the small tent and started to root through his backpack, in search of provisions. I quickly located some human food and took it to him. When I poked my head through the tent flap, Jake was sitting quietly beside Nessie. He looked exhausted. I tossed him the packages and he smiled gratefully.

"Thanks."

"Do you need a drink?"

"No, it's ok." He shook his head. "I've still got Nessie's water bottle."

"I'll be outside if you need anything."

"Sure, thanks Leo."

Katherine took longer on her patrol than I had. That didn't really surprise me. I knew that she was feeling pretty stressed too. It was obvious that the attack had really taken its toll on her, and I assumed that she also needed some time alone to burn off some nervous energy. I watched her move across the distant ground, occasionally stopping to taste the air and check the surroundings for danger. No other girl in the world could move the way she did. Even after all these years, her predatory grace still left me in a state of awe.

I turned my head away and stared in the opposite direction. I couldn't afford to think about her in that way. I couldn't afford to think about her at all.

I returned to counting Nessie's heartbeats, and reminded myself that the only feeling I had a right to was gratitude.

Gratitude that Red's heart was still beating, and that both Jacob and Kathy were still alive to hear it. Gratitude that I had made it in time.

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><p><strong>Author's notes<strong>

**Just a quick thank you for the recent list additions and ****reviews (including Joanna's and the guest's, sorry I couldn't PM you) they were really nice. I was especially pleased to get the very understanding messages about my posting changes, they made me feel much better. Thank you :)**

**Anyway, I will post again in two weeks, thanks for reading, have a lovely fortnight,**

**Mad :)**

**p.s. Happy Halloween **


	52. Nessie, awakening

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

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><p><strong>A special thank you to my beta, willowbae, because she's the best! :)<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 52.<strong>

**Nessie – awakening**

I don't know how many hours I spent drifting in and out of consciousness. My dreams were confused and unsettling, and I could sometimes hear quiet voices in the back of my mind. Even as the voices came and went, I was always aware of a slow heartbeat nearby and a warm hand anchoring me to myself, holding me down, before I floated away.

When I woke up properly, I found myself lying in a tent. I shifted my head and discovered Jake sitting beside me, staring into my face with a look of overwhelming relief. I could feel his hand in mine.

"Nessie."

"Jake…" I tried to speak, but my throat felt dry and I could only croak. "What happened…?"

"Don't talk just yet, honey. Just know you're ok."

I was surprised by the strength of emotion in his voice, he sounded as if he was only just keeping it together. I frowned and tried to get a hold on my thoughts. Jacob looked so _tired_. What on earth had happened to him? What had happened to me? I gave up speaking and squeezed his hand instead, sending a message.

_Where am I?_

"You're still in Denali." For some reason Jacob didn't sound too pleased about the fact.

I tried to make sense of what he'd told me.

I was in Denali.

And then all the memories of the Volturi returned. Not in a gradual trickle, but in one hideous, great wave. The ferocious attack on my friends, the fear, the pain, and the bite…

I jolted with shock and violently clenched my hand. At that moment I had no control over my actions or my gift, and unfortunately, Jacob was on the receiving end of these reflexes. I heard some of the bones in his hand break, as I sent him a horrifying reminder of the attack.

He gasped and I don't know if it was because of the pain, or the vision, or both. I was so paralysed by panic that I couldn't even let go of his hand. Jake caught hold of my fingers with his free hand and tried to loosen them, before I could do any further damage. And second later, I heard another calm voice.

"Hey, Red, it's ok. Just relax."

Leo appeared beside me and placed his cool hand over mine. He gently began to unclasp my fingers from Jacob's hand. Jake must have been in pain, his teeth were clenched, but he still looked at Leo with concern.

"Don't hurt her."

Leo smiled briefly. "She's not the one I'm worried about right now."

And with no help from me, he managed to prize my hand away from Jacob's. The second that he was done, Jake pulled his hand back and started straightening his fingers. I gave a low sob and covered my eyes with my arm.

Jake tried to comfort me. "Hey, it's ok. Don't worry, everything's fine."

I couldn't even manage to say a proper sorry. All the memories of the attack were still fresh in my mind. Memories of Jacob's fur being cut with steel cables and Katherine…

I shuddered in horror as I relived the moments when Katherine was torn apart.

And then I realised that she was nowhere to be seen. My eyes jerked open and I grabbed Leo's arm, sending him a vivid memory of everything that had happened when the Volturi arrived, and a very clear question.

_What happened to her?_

Leo's expression was tense, pained even, as he met my frantic gaze, but he answered calmly. "Don't worry, she's fine. She's outside." He gave a slight smile, as if to reassure me. "We've been taking turns on watch. I can get her if you like. I know she'll want to check up on you."

I nodded and released his arm. Leo shook his head, before getting up to find Katherine.

"That's some grip you've got there, kid."

He left the tent and Jake moved a little nearer to me. It was comforting have him so close, and I wanted to reach out, but I didn't dare try to hold his hand again. Jacob must have sensed how much I needed him because he tenderly rested his hand on my arm. I instantly began to calm down, and was pleased that I could send him messages with ease.

_I'm sorry._

"Don't worry. I'm fine."

I glanced towards him, meeting his eye. _I meant for everything_.

He gently stroked my arm. "It's ok. I'm sorry too."

I could already feel my strength returning and I turned a little further towards him. It was at that point that I realised that I was wrapped in a couple of sleeping bags, and that I didn't seem to be wearing any clothes. I was too weary and shell-shocked to care, and another thought popped into my head which completely distracted me from my nudity. I threw Jake a nervous glance.

_The Volturi?_

His voice became tight with anger. "They're dead." He didn't elaborate.

I didn't really want to know the specifics. I wasn't ready to hear them. I was just relieved to know that the Volturi were gone, and pleased that Jake wasn't in the mood for sharing the full details. Something else occurred to me.

_Why did Leo come back?_

"He crossed their scents," Jake sounded grave. "He only just made it in time. We would have died if it wasn't for him. He pulled Felix off Katherine and freed me from the cables. We owe him..."

I heard Leo speaking from outside the tent. "Don't listen to him, Red. The shock has made Jake delusional."

Jacob met my eyes and his expression made it very clear which one of them was telling the truth. A second later Katherine's blonde head popped through the tent flap.

"How's it going?"

I sighed with relief when I caught sight of her. I hadn't really been able to believe that Katherine was ok, until I had seen her with my own eyes. She crawled into the tent and sat down beside me, brushing her wavy hair away from her face. I was glad to observe that she looked absolutely fine. I glanced at her arm and finally found my voice.

"Are you ok? Does it hurt?"

She shook her head. "No, it's fine. It was a little stiff for a few hours after it was reattached, but that wore off. All I've got now is a scar." She gave a wry smile and added with a mocking cowboy drawl. "So everyone will think I'm _real tough_."

"You are," I whispered.

She snorted and shook her head. "You must be kidding."

Leo's voice piped up from outside again. "Don't worry, kid. Kathy's shocked and delusional too."

I gave a weak smile and Katherine lowered her eyes. I was feeling much calmer, so I reached out to her and touched her hand.

_Do you mind Leo being here?_

She kept her eyes down, answering in a subdued voice. "Of course not."

I wasn't convinced that she really meant it. But if what Jake said was true and we really did owe Leo our lives, then I could understand why she might not want to raise any objections. It might seem a little petty in light of recent events.

Just these short conversations made me feel tired, and before I could stop them, my eyelids started to droop. Katherine noticed immediately.

"I'm going outside. You need to rest." She patted my arm. "I'm glad you're ok, Nessie. You gave us a real scare." She then glanced at Jake, adding sympathetically. "You've been awake for hours. Why don't you get some sleep too? We'll wake you if anything happens."

He nodded gratefully. "Sure, thanks Katherine."

She disappeared and I heard the sound of the tent flap being zipped closed behind her. Jake lay down beside me, wrapping his arm tightly around my body as I snuggled close and pressed my head against his shoulder.

As I hovered on the edge of sleep, I felt Jacob gently kiss my forehead. "Thank you for staying."

The tone of his voice told me exactly what he'd been through, and I sent him a message. _I couldn't leave you._

"Just make sure that you don't, okay?"

I nuzzled his shoulder. _I won't… I promise._

Despite my state of exhaustion, I suddenly remembered that my promises no longer held any value for Jacob. It was unfortunate that we were still touching, because I was too tired and disorientated to completely control my gift, and I gave Jake a perfect view into my thoughts.

I would rather not have reminded him of my disgraceful conduct, especially when he was starting to feel a little less angry with me. I tried to hide my embarrassment and quickly attempted some damage control by revising my comment.

_I'm sorry…I mean… I'll try really hard…_

I held my breath. And when Jake said nothing, I slowly began to ease myself away from him.

_I guess we should get some sleep._

It was a cowardly move on my part, but I was just too drained and too ashamed to deal with everything right then. All I wanted to do was curl up into a ball and disappear. Maybe I could re-emerge and face my sins at some later date.

But Jake wouldn't let me go. As I tried to turn away, he clasped me tightly and buried his face in my collar. "No…"

I could feel his shuddering breaths as he held me close. His whole body seemed to be trembling. I wasn't sure what was happening, but I instinctively lifted my hand to his head and gently began stroking his hair to calm him. He tightened his hold and I was amazed to discover that my shoulder felt damp. I couldn't believe it, Jacob was _crying_.

For a moment I was so surprised that I couldn't do anything. I had never seen Jake cry before, I hardly would have believed that he could. But then I unfroze and continued to run my fingers over his hair as the hot tears rained down on my shoulder.

As I comforted him, my heart twisted with guilt. What had I done? How was I ever going to make up for the way that I'd hurt him? As much as I wanted to avoid them, there was no way that I could escape the consequences of my actions, not when Jacob was crying into my shoulder.

I had to say something, however inadequate. I had to try and make him feel better. I slipped my hand onto his neck and sent him a tentative message.

_Please Jake, don't be sad… I know that you probably don't believe me… but I'm really, really sorry for lying… I know I was wrong, but I'll try my best to make it up to you. I'll try so hard… _

"Don't…" said Jake in a strangled voice.

_Ok._ I replied hastily. _I'm sorry._

I wished that I hadn't said anything. I was never going to get it right. Jacob raised his head, so that his face was about an inch away from mine.

"Stop it, Nessie. Stop saying you're sorry." His expression was harrowed as he met my eyes. "You nearly _died…!_ You nearly died believing that I hadn't really forgiven you, that I would never trust you again."

Jake seemed so overwrought that I tried to answer as calmly as possible, sticking to the bare facts.

_That's hardly your fault. I lied to you._

He shook his head. "I knew damn well that you didn't want to lie to me, Nessie. I knew exactly what kind of pressure you were under. And I knew that you had no power over the treaty. I knew it, but I was angry and I forced you to take the blame for everything. I thought I was behaving justly, until I saw what was going through your mind when you were _dying…_" His voice broke.

My heart sank. I wondered what I had done _this _time. I couldn't remember very much about it. It was all a muddle, just pain and fear. And thirst. I didn't really want to know. It would be just another mistake to add to my long list of screw-ups. But it was obvious that Jake wanted to tell me, so I steeled myself and asked.

_What did you see?_

He took a long breath and whispered. "I saw doubt…"

I frowned in confusion. _What do you mean?_

I was trying my best, but I was honestly too tired to fathom this new riddle. Jacob tried to explain.

"I held your hand the whole time, honey. Sometimes you were barely conscious, but other times I caught glimpses of your thoughts and delirious dreams. You were in pain… and you were afraid. You needed me, and you were always looking…" He caught his breath and lowered his head to my shoulder, effectively hiding his face from view. "But, you didn't think that I was coming…"

Jake paused, and I could tell that he was struggling to speak. I waited patiently and he continued. "You're my imprint. My whole reason for living. But in your darkest hour, you weren't even sure that I still wanted you. Nothing could have reflected worse on the way I treated you, Nessie. You should have _known_ how I felt about you. The fact that you didn't, exposed just how badly I failed you."

His voice held a note of desperation as he added. "I don't have any idea of how to make this right." He finally raised his head and his eyes were pleading. "Tell me what I should do…"

My heart ached at these words, he sounded so lost. I always assumed that Jake could handle anything, that he never needed any help. But I finally realised that I'd been wrong. He was strong and good, but he didn't have the answers any more than I, or anyone else, did. We all just tried our best, and if we were really lucky, things would work out ok.

I shifted slightly and looked up into his eyes. "You don't have to do anything, Jake. You're here, that's all that matters to me." I gently lifted my hand to stroke his cheek and added tentatively. _And we still love each other_.

He leaned forward and wrapped me in his arms, squeezing me tightly as he murmured in my ear. "More than anything."

I captured my arms around his neck and pulled him close enough to feel his heart beating through the layers of quilted sleeping bags. He held me for the longest time. We didn't speak. We just clung to each other as if we'd been apart for years.

Eventually, Jacob loosened his hold on me. I curled up against him as he lay down beside me and rested one arm over my body. I raised my head so he could slip his other arm under my head to bolster my makeshift pillow. We lay facing each other and I let my fingers press against his chest. The contact reassured me that we were both still alive and really, truly together.

I noticed that Jake was starting to fall asleep. I watched his eyelids slowly close and I grew sleepy too. As I began to drift off, his words ran through my mind and I suddenly realised something. My eyes flew open and I pushed my palm against his chest.

"Jacob…" I gave him a gentle shake.

"Huh?"

His eyes opened and I realised how tired he must have been, because although he'd only just fallen asleep, he had a hard time waking up.

"I found you."

Jake was now slightly more awake, but he couldn't hide his confusion. "I'm sorry?"

"You said that I was searching for you in my dreams, and that I didn't think you were coming." I explained eagerly. "But I remember that you _were_ there. I could smell you and feel you... I could taste you…"

I hadn't put much thought into my words, they just came out in a jumbled rush, and they hardly made sense, even to me.

I was slightly surprised by the strength of Jacob's response. I felt his body tense under my hand. I glanced at his face and immediately noticed how guarded his expression had become.

"Jake, what's wrong?" I was instantly on the alert.

I tried to think of what might have upset him. I would have thought that he'd be pleased that I had known he was with me. I replayed my words and one statement stuck out in my mind.

I could _taste _you.

That seemed a rather strange thing to say, especially when I considered what I had actually meant by it. I frowned for a moment and I realised that I hadn't been talking about tasting his scent. I had been talking about the taste of his blood.

I was familiar with its flavour, because when I was a little girl I had been prone to nipping Jake when I was feeling impatient with him. I had grown out of the habit, and felt quite ashamed of my past actions, but now the memory of his taste had more worrying implications. Why would I have dreamed of his blood?

Jake refused to meet my eye and, out of nowhere, the cold touch of fear began to creep up my spine. There was something wrong, something he wasn't telling me. I knew it was bad. I couldn't bring myself to say the words, so I sent him a question.

_What's wrong? What happened?_

He couldn't quite meet my eye. "I don't know what you mean…"

I wasn't going to let us take any steps back, not after we had paid so dearly to get to where we were. I needed the truth. I became insistent as I pressed my fingers against his bare skin.

_No more lies… please_.

Jacob sighed and brushed his hand over my cheek. "Ok… I'll tell you. But promise me that you won't freak out." He looked me in the eye and added nervously. "Remember, you were dying."

This sounded ominous, but I tried to stay composed. "Ok."

He started hesitantly. "You remember what happened when we were attacked… when you were bitten." I nodded without dwelling on the recollection. He continued with more confidence. "You fell into the river and the venom spread. We pulled you out, but the bite had already started to poison your body.

"You were getting so cold and your heart started to fail…" The pain in Jacob's voice showed just how hard it was for him to relive the memory. "You were dying, Nessie… We all knew it. We thought that maybe you would be able to fight back if you were stronger. So we gave you blood…" he petered off and a heavy silence filled the tent.

I stayed very quiet and tried to take in what Jacob was telling me. A part of me already knew what had happened, but I needed to hear him say the words before I could really accept them. I stared deep into his eyes and asked.

_Exactly where did you get the blood?_

This time he didn't look away. "It was mine."

At that moment, it wasn't my promise to stay calm that forced me to control my feelings. It was an act of pure self-defence. I knew that if I gave in to the shame and horror that washed over me, I would be truly lost. I would drown.

There it was, my worst nightmare, my darkest fear, laid bare. All these years I had clung to my humanity with a desperate tenacity, but finally, when I was pushed to the edge and my true nature was revealed, it turned out that I was nothing more than a filthy, stinking bloodsucker. I had actually fed on a human being. And that the human should be _Jacob_ was the final shattering blow.

I said nothing. My expression remained passive, while inside I went into emotional lockdown. Jake watched my face, looking for a reaction, but I gave little away.

"Honey, are you ok?" He gently placed his hand onto my bare shoulder. When I didn't answer, he ran his fingers down my arm in a comforting gesture. "Say something, Nessie."

Jacob looked worried and I knew that I had to make an effort; otherwise he would really start to stress. He didn't need that. Keeping my emotions tightly bound, I answered quietly.

"I'm ok."

He seemed unconvinced. "Are you sure? You look shocked, honey."

"Honestly, I'm fine." I gave him a small smile. "I guess I'm still a little shaken… it's just a lot to take in, that's all."

Jake didn't reply. He was too busy scanning my face, trying to read the truth. I reached up and stroked his cheek.

"Thank you for doing that for me…" My throat tightened.

He caught hold of my hand, pulling it over his mouth to press a tender kiss onto my palm. "I'd do anything for you, Nessie."

The look in his eyes would have told me this, if I hadn't already known it. I didn't trust myself to voice my feelings without bursting into tears, so I just tugged his hand down and cupped it against my cheek.

"I know." Manoeuvring Jake's arm back around my body, I nestled against him. "We should try and get some sleep."

"Sure."

Jacob settled down beside me. It wasn't long before his exhaustion got the better of him and he slipped into a deep sleep. I was very tired too, but sleep evaded me for some time. My thoughts were filled with many terrible memories and, worst of all, the knowledge of what I had done.

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Thank you for the new reviews and list additions, I know I always say this, but they really are appreciated :) And a thanks to the reviewers I couldn't PM, Joanna, ImMaggiebtchz19 and twireadera.**

**Have a great week, thanks for reading,**

**Mad :)**


	53. Nessie, home truths

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you to willowbae, my amazing beta, for all her help :)<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 53.<strong>

**Nessie – home truths**

When I opened my eyes, Jacob was still lying beside, sound asleep. I wasn't sure what the time was, but I knew that a night had passed since I had woken from the attack, because I had drifted in and out of a fitful sleep, and it had always been dark inside the tent. But now I could see daylight filtering through the tent walls. My thoughts were also more lucid.

I sat up and looked around me. All things considered, I didn't feel too bad, a little stiff and tired maybe, but not feverish, or in pain. I didn't even have a headache. I was still naked in the sleeping bags, and I was pleased to discover that someone had very thoughtfully left out a pile of dry clothes for me to wear. I wiggled out of the sleeping bags and hurriedly got dressed. I found my jacket folded in the corner of the tent, it seemed to have dried out, and so I pulled it on too.

I dug a hairband out of my pocket and tied back my tangled hair. As I moved I could still feel the tenderness in my shoulder from Demetri's bite. It had almost healed, but there was no doubt that I would be permanently scarred. I could only feel grateful that he hadn't inflicted worse damage on me.

I leaned over Jake and pushed the makeshift pillow slightly further under his head and wrapped my sleeping bags around him, to make him a little more comfortable and snug. When I was done, I sat for a few minutes, watching him sleep. Jacob looked very tranquil and I didn't want to wake him. He was obviously exhausted and needed the rest, and I didn't feel quite ready to face him. I was still coming to terms with the fact that I had fed on his blood.

I wondered if some fresh air might clear my head, and with this thought in mind, I unzipped the tent flap and peered outside. I discovered that we were still beside the river, and that there had been some heavy snowfall while I was asleep. Everything was shiny and white. I glanced at the sky. The day was slightly overcast and sun was still low on the horizon. I guessed that it was only about an hour or so after dawn, which probably made it around nine or ten in the morning. I wasn't entirely sure what day it was.

I could see Leo standing beside the river with his back to me, but Katherine was nowhere in sight. I scrambled out of the tent and zipped the flap closed behind me, leaving Jacob sleeping peacefully inside. I felt a little wobbly as I rose to my feet, but quickly steadied myself. Leo looked around and grinned when he saw me.

"Hey, Red. How are you feeling?"

"Um… ok, actually."

"That's good." He approached me with a smile. "Are you hungry? You should probably have a bite to eat, or at least drink something."

_Besides Jake?_

I hid my wince. "I am a little thirsty."

Leo hurried over to my small tent, which was pitched nearby, and disappeared inside. A few seconds later he reappeared with a bottle of water and a packet of food.

"Here you go." He handed me the water and winked. "Sorry, it's frozen, but if you leave it next to Jake for half an hour it will thaw just fine."

The thought of Jake's reaction to me pressing a freezing bottle of water against his skin made me smile.

"That's ok. If I hold it for a few minutes, it'll be fine."

Leo opened the food packet and pulled out a granola bar. "You should have one of these, you probably need the energy."

I wasn't really hungry, but I could see that he had a good point, so I politely accepted his offering and shoved the bottle of water into my warm pocket, in the hope that it would soon thaw.

I glanced around me. "Where's Katherine?"

"She's on patrol."

Leo pointed across the river, towards the hills. I stared into the distance and caught sight of her, moving fast across the icy slopes. His words made me a little nervous.

"Are we still in danger, Leo?"

My anxiety must have been obvious, because he shook his head and gave me a reassuring smile. "I don't think so. But we don't want to take any chances." He turned his gaze back to her and added quietly. "It's better this way."

I nodded and began to nibble a corner of my granola bar.

Leo glanced at me approvingly. "That'll put some pink in your cheeks." He pulled a face. "Right now you look the same colour as me, and quite frankly it's a little freaky."

I gave a small smile and took another bite. We continued to watch Katherine's progress across the foothills. I could see how quickly she was moving. Leo never took his eyes away from her. We stood in silence for a few minutes, until I glanced in his direction. I felt slightly self-conscious when I asked.

"What day is it?"

This caught his attention. He gave me a surprisingly sympathetic look. "It's Wednesday."

I nodded quietly. "Thanks. That's good to know."

My exams started on Thursday morning. There was no way I was going to make it back in time. It was a reflection on the last few days that I didn't even care. The importance of my exams paled in comparison to the Volturi's attack and its aftermath. And I would exchange a thousand good grades if only I could take back what I had done to Jake. A lump appeared in my throat and I had trouble swallowing my granola bar. I was hardly aware that Leo was still watching me, until he suddenly said.

"It's going to be ok. You know that, right?"

My eyes flew to his. He was staring down at me with a very serious expression. I wrapped my arms around my waist defensively.

"Is it?" I whispered, half challenging, half desperate.

Leo came closer and rested a firm hand on my shoulder. "There's something bothering you. What is it?"

I searched his eyes for a long moment. I could see genuine concern in his gaze, and compassion, as if he really understood how I was feeling. I hadn't expected this, and it broke through my defences. The words came tumbling out, before I'd even thought them through.

"I don't know how I'm going to make up for everything I've done…"

He replied calmly. "Can you be a little more specific? Exactly what do you have to make up for?"

"Everything…" I exclaimed miserably. "All of it. I feel terrible. I lied to Jake and I put us all in danger by coming here…"

That was only the tip of the iceberg.

Leo tilted his head and gave me an appraising look. "Ok, I get that you feel bad. You lied to Jake. It wasn't nice and it wasn't particularly clever, but you weren't trying to conceal your own sins. You were covering for someone else, a family member to be exact. Let's face it, if it had been up to you, you wouldn't have lied. You were pressured into it, and Jake understands that. He's already over it."

He saw my anxious expression and frowned, adding more seriously. "And the other stuff isn't true. It wasn't _you_ who put us in danger. It was the Volturi. You can't take responsibility for their attack. It wasn't your fault. You don't have to make amends for anything. To be honest, we're all really sorry that we didn't protect you better."

"I know none of you blame me… but I still feel bad about everything." I took a chance and confessed my biggest regret. "I wish that I hadn't fed on Jake… I can't believe that I did. It feels like I really am a vampire."

Leo narrowed his eyes and gave me a long look. He shook his head. "No, you're really not."

"You don't understand. I _fed_ on Jake. I drank his blood."

"No, kid, _you_ don't understand. I can see that you'd be worried and all, but it takes more than that to make you a real vampire. You didn't hunt Jake. It wasn't even your idea, we fed you his blood and you had no say at all. You're not a vampire, Red. Seriously, I've seen little fluffy lambs with more killer instinct than you."

He caught my eye and his tone became very grim. "Trust me on this one. You really don't know what you're talking about. Your family are at the cleanest end of the spectrum and they don't give you an accurate picture of their world. Hell, even the Volturi look pretty damn civilised compared to some of the animals I've come up against."

I wanted to believe him, but there was no escaping what I'd done. My lip trembled. "But, I could have _killed_ Jake… I love him and I could have bled him dry."

Leo's expression was unreadable for a second, but then it softened and he squeezed my shoulder reassuringly.

"But you didn't. Jake is fine. You're fine. There's nothing to feel bad about."

"I can't help it." I dropped my head in shame. "I feel so dirty. I don't even know how to face him…"

Leo's grip on my shoulder suddenly tightened. I glanced up quickly. His brow was lowered and a hint of steel entered his voice.

"Now you listen to me. Jake didn't save your life so that you could spend the rest of it torturing yourself with vampire angst. He did it because he can't live without you. Your bite didn't harm him, but if you'd died he would have been utterly destroyed."

Leo didn't wait for a response. He just glared down at me, adding fiercely. "Jake didn't have a choice, he made a sacrifice to save you, and you're not going to pay him back by making him feel bad for what he did. You're going to have to get over it, whether or not you want to. Do you understand me?"

"I… I…"

I didn't know to deal with Leo's stern commands. He stayed silent, holding me in place, waiting for me to speak. After a few seconds I managed to say something coherent.

"_How?_" I searched his angry eyes and found myself pleading. "Tell me how to do that. How do I get over it? How do I forget about what I've done?"

Leo stared down at me for a long moment and I saw his anger fading. He answered slowly without letting me go.

"You won't be able to forget it." A dark look descended on his handsome features. "It's going to be tough, because sometimes you're really going to hate yourself. But time will pass and you'll gradually realise that you're still here, and you can't change what you are, or what you've done. And instead of tormenting yourself, you'll just feel grateful that you're been given a second chance, and you'll pray to God you don't make the same mistake twice."

Leo released my shoulder and lifted his cool hand to my cheek. "Don't worry, Red. You haven't done any lasting damage. You and Jake still have each other. And if this experience has taught you anything, it should be that you need to make the most of your time together, because you never know how long you've got."

His thumb rested lightly on my cheekbone and his eyes never left mine. There was something almost wistful in his expression. "There are people who would give anything for what you've got. You and Jake have a real shot at happiness. Don't poison your future with regrets about the things you can't change, and that don't really matter anyway."

Before I could answer, something behind me caught his eye. His expression instantly altered. He gave a slight smile and released me.

"I guess it's time for my next patrol."

I turned to see Katherine approaching on the other side of the river. I had been so absorbed that I hadn't even heard her coming. As she leapt over the water, Leo turned to me.

"Just think about what I said, ok?"

I nodded. "I will, I promise."

Leo smiled and affectionately patted my cheek, before starting towards the river. He passed Katherine and threw her a brief glance.

"I'll take a wide circuit over the hills. I might be a while, so you'll have a plenty of time to get your stuff packed."

"That'll be good." She nodded. "Thanks, Leo."

He jumped the river with ease and started out across the plain. Katherine and I watched him go. When he was some distance away, Katherine looked at me.

"How are you feeling?"

"Much better, thanks."

Her expression became thoughtful. "We were considering starting out for Wonder Lake this afternoon. We don't want to stay here any longer than we need to, but no one wants to push you if you're not up to it."

"I think I'll be fine. I don't feel too bad and I want to get moving as well."

She smiled with relief. "Great. We'll go slowly and you have to promise to say something if you need to rest."

"You know, I could always let Jake carry me..." I joked.

"I'll be surprised if he lets you walk anywhere ever again," she replied sardonically, and started walking towards the smaller tent. "I'd better sort through the backpacks and make sure everything's ready for when we leave. I'll take down this tent too. Let me know if you need anything."

"I will. Thanks, Katherine."

She looked back just before climbing into the tent and smiled. "I'm glad to see you up and about, Nessie."

She disappeared inside and I found a rock to perch on. My eyes scanned the hills and I mulled over my conversation with Leo. He had given me a great deal to think about. He had spoken of regrets in a way that made it clear that he knew exactly what he was talking about. It made sense. Leo had done the same thing as me and fed on the person he loved. The only difference was that there had been no happy ending for him.

I sat for a long time, just considering his words. The cool breeze wafted around me and I picked up the faint smell of damp embers. I presumed that the bodies of our attackers had been burned. I glanced around me, looking for signs of a bonfire, but the ground was hidden by a thick layer of snow, and I couldn't locate it.

I could hear Jake sleeping soundly and Katherine rifling through our backpacks, as I sat peacefully on my rock. I was there for at least an hour. Katherine didn't disturb me; she just continued to amble around, slowly packing things away. Eventually, I stood up and went over to my backpack. After some searching I found my comb and toothbrush. I then brushed my teeth, washed my face, and made a valiant attempt to rake the tangles out of my hair. My efforts were successful enough that I felt a little more like myself when I had finished.

It was nearly midday when Jake finally awoke. I was standing near the river, trying unsuccessfully to catch a glimpse of Leo in the hills, when I heard Jake moving inside the tent. A few moments later, he unzipped the flap and climbed outside. He was still only wearing a pair of shorts, but didn't seem aware of the cold. His eyes immediately honed in on me, and his expression told me that he was feeling worried.

I took a deep breath and hurried over to him. It was time to face my fears. Jake walked forward to meet me, stopping in front of me and reaching for my hand.

"How are you doing?"

I slipped my fingers through his. "I'm fine."

"How long have you been awake?"

"A couple of hours." I glanced up to meet his eye. "I didn't want to wake you. I thought you probably needed some sleep."

"Thanks…" He hesitated, looking uncertain, and then continued in a low voice. "I was worried that you might be upset."

This was not the moment for holding back. The truth had been hard won and I wasn't prepared to let it go. I moved a step closer, until our bodies were almost touching.

"I have to tell you something… It's not easy for me to say, but I don't ever want to lie to you again. I want to be completely honest."

"Ok…"

Jake looked really anxious, as if he was bracing himself for bad news. I could hardly blame him; things hadn't exactly been easy between us in the last few weeks. I squeezed his hand.

"I was really upset when I heard that I drank your blood." He opened his mouth to interrupt, but I wouldn't let him. "Please, Jake. I _need_ to say this. It's important."

"Alright." He nodded reluctantly. He clearly wasn't happy about it.

"I wish that I hadn't fed on you. I feel very guilty that I did. And… and I'm sorry."

"Nessie, don't…" he protested. "It was my fault, I gave you the blood. Please, honey…"

I cut him short. "I understand what happened. I was dying and you did the only thing you could. You don't need to say sorry, you saved my life. I'm grateful for what you did. I'm not bringing this up so we can play the blame game. I'm telling you how I feel so that my guilt doesn't create an unspoken barrier between us.

"I feel bad about feeding from you. I can't pretend that I find it easy to be a vampire hybrid. I always suffer a degree of conflict between my two sides. Most of the time I can find a balance, but sometimes it's much more difficult. This has definitely been one of those times, and I've been confronted with some truths about my nature that I don't feel comfortable facing.

"But I want to face them. I want to accept what's happened and move on. So if you're able to put this behind you, then I'll try to as well..." I glanced up nervously. "Do you think maybe you can?"

Jake didn't say anything. I watched him anxiously, trying to work out what he was thinking. For a second his expression was unreadable, and all of a sudden he grabbed hold of me, catching his arms around my waist and lifted me clean off my feet. He held me high enough that I found myself staring straight into his dark eyes. Jake leaned in close, his forehead brushing against mine, and answered quietly.

"Of course I can."

Resting my palms on his warm shoulders, I searched his eyes, looking for a sign of uncertainty. Jacob didn't look away. He met my gaze squarely and I could see the honesty in his eyes, along with warmth, and love, and all the positive feelings that he had always shown me. After all the awful things that had happened, just knowing that he could still feel this way made my eyes fill with tears.

"Jake…"

I didn't have a chance to say anything else. Jacob cut me off by capturing my mouth in a searing kiss. All thoughts fled, as his lips took control of mine. His actions told me what I had already seen in his eyes, that I belonged to him and nothing would ever change what existed between us.

I slid my arms around his neck and Jake shifted his hold, allowing me to catch my legs around his waist, so I was completely wrapped around him. He hardly seemed to notice that he was taking my whole weight, as he squeezed me tighter, kissing me with a possessive hunger. Hope and happiness flared between us as all the misunderstandings and doubts were swept away.

I wrapped myself more closely around him and buried my face between his neck and shoulder, as his lips trailed down, pressing hot kisses against my throat.

"Don't ever leave me, Nessie." He murmured. "_Promise_ me."

My eyes flew wide. Jake was saying that he could accept a promise of mine. I drew in a shaky breath and whispered into the smooth skin of his neck.

"I promise."

I heard Jacob's small sigh of relief, as he kissed my cheek and hugged me close. I could feel his heart pounding in his chest. A moment later he pulled back his head and grinned. It was the first really happy smile that I had seen on his face in days.

"Good," he said. "Because I'm not going anywhere either."

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Hello again! Just a quick, but very grateful, thanks to everyone who reviewed or added this story to their lists since the last time I posted a chapter, including Bia, Olivia and Frank (who I couldn't PM). Thank you :) **

**I also want to apologise if I caused any confusion last week with regards to my posting schedule. I am still posting chapters every two weeks, and will continue on this fortnightly routine for the time being. **

**BUT, I can promise that if there is any change in the schedule, I will announce it very clearly, with bells, whistles etc.**

**So, on that note, have a lovely fortnight, thank you for reading,**

**Mad :)**


	54. Leo, forgiveness

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

* * *

><p><strong>A big thank you to willowbae for all her wonderful beta-ing :)<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 54.<strong>

**Leo – forgiveness**

We reached Wonder Lake around noon on Thursday. It was hard to believe that it had only been a week since Jake and I arrived in Denali. So much had happened since then.

Nessie was improving all the time, which was a relief to everyone. Although it would have been nice to let her rest by the river for a couple of days, no one wanted to risk hanging around in such an exposed place. We left the battlefield on Wednesday afternoon, and travelled at a slow pace for Nessie's sake, camping overnight, so that she wasn't overstretched by the journey. Jake offered to carry her, but she laughed off the suggestion and chose to run instead.

It had been easy to avoid Kathy while taking turns to guard the campsite, and I found an ingenious way to keep us apart when we were on the move. I suggested that one of us go on ahead, scouting the trail for danger, and the other follow a short way behind the party. She agreed without hesitation, and my plan allowed us to dodge each other's company almost entirely. I jogged a mile or so ahead and she stayed just behind Nessie and Jake.

We had all agreed to travel together until we reached Anchorage Airport, at which point we would go our separate ways. Nessie, Jake and Katherine planned to fly to Seattle, and I intended to take a direct flight to San Francisco. I wanted to travel home by the quickest route possible.

We were lucky that the weather held and there was no more snowfall, it made travelling more comfortable for everyone. During the journey to Wonder Lake I stayed well ahead of the party. I had no one to talk to, which gave me plenty of time to think without interruption. There was really only one thing on my mind, and that was how I was going to apologise to Kathy and return the picture that I had stolen from her all those years ago.

I knew that I didn't have to give it back. Katherine would never know any different if I never mentioned that it was in my possession, but that just seemed wrong and went against the spirit of my vow. I had been allowed to save Kathy. I had been given a second chance to do the right thing by her. This was my best opportunity to return the picture to its rightful owner and try to make amends for what I had done.

I was aware that my apology might go really badly, especially since I had a gift for saying exactly the wrong thing when Kathy was around, but I had to try anyway. All I needed was to find the right moment to speak to her.

I didn't want an audience, and I doubted that she would want one either, so it seemed like a good idea to say something before we reached Anchorage's departure lounge. My logical side told me that launching into my speech while surrounded by humans might be a little unwise. The combination of two emotionally overcharged vampires and a crowd of fragile tourists seemed like a bad one.

In the end, I decided that the best time to speak to her would be when we arrived at Wonder Lake. We would have several hours to kill while we waited for the evening bus, and I didn't think that it would be difficult to get Kathy alone for a few minutes. It also seemed a sensible time, because if my apology backfired and resulted in a huge fight, then Kathy could leave on the bus with Nessie and Jake, and it would be no real hardship for me to stay behind and wait for the next one.

When we got to Wonder Lake, Nessie and Jake decided to take a break at the campground. It was just as empty as it had been when we arrived in Denali. They brushed the ice from one of the picnic tables and dug out some food. Kathy dumped her backpack on the frosty ground beside them, but she didn't sit down. She glanced around meditatively.

"I guess we've got some time to kill. I might take a walk to the lake, I won't get a chance to see it again, and it's really pretty."

I was standing a short distance away and Katherine didn't look in my direction at all. I was fairly sure that she was sticking to our unspoken agreement to politely avoid each other's company. I appreciated her motives, but she had given me an opportunity that was just too good to miss. I was never going to get a better chance than this to be alone with her.

The others were too absorbed with their lunch to do much more than smile and nod in agreement, but as Kathy turned towards the trees, I quickly followed. When I called out her name she turned to me in surprise. I had stayed away from Katherine since our talk by the river, so when I hurried to her side, she threw me a puzzled glance.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I tried to act casual. "I just wondered if I could come too. I haven't taken a proper look at Wonder Lake and this will be my last chance."

"Um…" She seemed slightly unsure, but then, being the nice person that she was, gave a cautious smile and nodded. "Sure… of course you can."

"Great."

I started moving before she could change her mind, and after a moment's hesitation she followed me. We made our way from the campground, through the woods, towards the lake.

When Jake and I were tracking Kathy and Red, we had passed Wonder Lake in the darkness, and I'd hardly noticed the place. My whole focus had been on reaching the girls. Now I had a chance to enjoy the scenery at a more leisurely pace, and in the daylight.

The day was overcast, but it was still very beautiful. I certainly didn't need to justify why I might want to take a stroll and admire the view. Fir trees grew along the shores of the lake and snow covered mountains created an imposing backdrop to the still waters. We made our way down to the lake in silence. There was so much to see, that there was no real pressure to speak.

Once we reached the water's edge, we followed the path which wound its way along the frozen shore. Kathy strolled just ahead of me, lost in thought. I tried not to get too close. Now that we were alone, I didn't want to do anything that might unnerve her, or make her feel that I was invading her space, but her scent still curled around me as I followed a short way behind.

It was lucky for me that Kathy didn't feel talkative, because I couldn't have mustered any small talk if my life had depended on it. All I could think about was my pending apology. How do you tell the girl you love that you're sorry for ruining her life? I tried desperately to think of a way to broach the subject.

_Hey Kathy, remember that time I bit you…?_

I cringed at the thought of how badly this was going to go.

I was so preoccupied that I barely noticed when Katherine stepped off the path. I just came to an automatic standstill as she walked across the uneven ground towards the lake. She reached the water's edge and turned towards me, saying mildly.

"There's a nice view from here."

"Huh?" I glanced up and realised that I had stopped walking. Looking towards Kathy, I came to my senses. "Oh, right."

I wasn't entirely sure if she wanted me to follow, so I lingered on the path until she invited me to join her. "Why don't you come take a look?"

"Ok… sure."

I made my way across the frozen tussocks of grass. Kathy watched me approach and her dark brows were lowered in a thoughtful frown.

"Leo, are you alright?"

"What do you mean?"

"Um… I don't know. You just seem a little distracted," she offered tentatively.

Her golden eyes never left mine. She looked slightly nervous, but that was nothing compared to the way that I felt.

"Sure, yeah…" I blustered, while trying desperately to think of a decent excuse for my silent brooding. "I was just worrying about Red."

"I don't blame you." She nodded understandingly. "She's so young. It's a lot for her to have gone through. And Jake too, he's hardly much older. This has been really tough on both of them."

"You can say that again."

I came to a halt beside her and she turned to gaze across the lake. Her expression was almost wistful as she added.

"But they'll be ok… they've still got each other and that counts for a lot."

"It certainly does."

I tried really hard not to let the envy leak into my voice. What kind of jerk did I have to be to begrudge anyone else a happy relationship, especially Nessie and Jake? They had been through hell and if anyone deserved a break it was them. Thankfully, Katherine didn't really seem to be aware of my train of thought, she stood in silence for a long moment, before adding quietly.

"Nessie's got her family and some good friends, so I guess they'll make a big difference too."

"Yeah, absolutely. The Cullens will want to take care of her. And from what I've heard, Jacob's wolves will always protect her. She's got human friends too, and she's got _you_. I can see how much she leans on you, Kathy. I'm glad you're here to help her through what's happened."

Katherine threw me a sideways glance. "Thanks, that's nice of you to say."

"Hey, it's the truth."

Her gaze became more intent. "What about _you?_"

"What do you mean?" She'd lost me on this one.

"I mean that you've helped Nessie too." I shook my head in denial, but Kathy pressed her point. "I heard some of what you said to her yesterday. It was nice of you, Leo."

I couldn't see that I'd said anything especially helpful to Nessie. I'd actually been worried that I'd come down too hard on the kid. It wouldn't have amazed me if Kathy had criticised my handling of that particular situation, so her compliment came as a surprise. This must have shown on my face when I answered.

"I didn't say anything helpful. I probably upset her more than anything else."

"No," Kathy replied emphatically. "Nessie was sinking and you gave her what she needed..." She held my gaze, adding quietly. "I don't know if anyone else could have helped her. I'm not surprised that she thinks well of you."

The fact that Kathy was prepared to praise me, even though she knew what a complete bastard I was, seemed unbearably sweet. I had to disguise the lump in my throat with a shrug.

"Don't hold it against her, Red just doesn't know me as well as you do."

Katherine looked slightly taken aback by my blunt statement. For a second it seemed as if she was going to deny my assertion, but as soon as I saw her reaction, I flashed my teeth with one of my more predatory smiles, challenging her to disagree. Unsurprisingly, she didn't. She was too honest for that, she just backed down and lowered her gaze.

Kathy knew damn well that if little Red knew slightly more about me, she wouldn't like me at all. Frankly, I was glad that she was so innocent. I didn't like the thought of Nessie looking at me with fear in her eyes, especially as I would never intentionally cause her harm.

After this exchange, we fell into silence. Kathy kept her eyes fixed on the ground. She seemed uncomfortable, and I started to worry that I might have upset her. After a minute or two, she said in a low voice.

"I think I'll head back…"

She didn't look up as she began to walk away. I suddenly realised that I was going to lose my chance to apologise. I had to do something.

"Kathy, wait." I said hastily, resisting the temptation to grab her arm. "Wait a second… _please_."

She glanced over her shoulder. "What's wrong?"

"I wanted to talk to you about something…" She looked unconvinced and I took a step towards her. "Please, just hear me out."

Kathy stood her ground and folded her strong arms over her chest. "Fine… what do you want to talk about?"

"Um…"

It was now or never, but I hardly knew where to start. Katherine didn't hurry me. She just waited with a sceptical expression, as I tried to find the words. It was only when I looked into her clear eyes that I managed to pull myself together. I owed her this. I had waited for over fifty years to say the words.

"I really wanted to speak to you when I still had the chance…" I paused and took a steadying breath. "I don't have much conscience and I can't pretend that I've regretted many things in my life – though God knows I should – but what I did to you, Kathy… it stayed with me."

She frowned in confusion. "I don't understand…?"

It was hardly surprising that she couldn't grasp what I was trying to say. Her experience had taught her never to expect remorse from me. I had to try harder. I had to _make_ her understand. I tried to sound calm and in control, when inside I felt anything but.

"I'm trying to tell you I'm sorry for everything I did to you."

Her eyes flew wide in astonishment, but she didn't say anything – she was probably too surprised – so I continued purposefully.

"I know you've got plenty of reasons not to trust me, and I don't blame you, but please believe me when I say how much I regret the way I behaved. I was cruel and selfish, and I had no right to treat you the way I did."

"I don't… I…" she stammered in shock and finally choked out. "Why are you telling me this now?"

Katherine's eyes were wide and searching. I could already see the pain in their expression. I had known that it was going to be tough, but I was sorry to see that I was hurting her by bringing up the past. It was too late to back out now. I had to see this apology through.

"I wanted to say something, before you were gone for good," I replied gently. "I won't get another chance after we leave this place."

"Oh… right." She nodded blindly, as if she was trying to make sense of what I was telling her. "Of course..."

"I'm not asking you to forgive me, Kathy. I don't deserve that. I just want you to know how truly sorry I am."

She winced at my words, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. I could hear the suppressed pain in her voice, she sounded lost. "I don't know what to say…"

Remorse gripped me and I took a step closer. I had to force myself not to reach out to her; I had vowed that I wouldn't. I managed to stay put, but I couldn't quite hold back my words.

"God, Kathy… I'm so sorry. You don't have to say anything. I just wanted you to know, that's all. You have no idea how much I want to undo the past, but I can't." My frustration leaked into my voice as I added. "I should never have gone anywhere near you. I wish I'd never turned you…"

Her golden eyes flew to mine. They were filled with misery. "I know," she whispered. "I know that…"

The look on her face reduced me to silence. She watched me for a few moments and her expression altered subtly, becoming pensive. She tilted her head and asked a quiet question.

"So… why did you?"

Those four words acted like a trigger to me. My mind was instantly flooded with perfect, shimmering memories, as bright and untarnished as if the events had happened only moments, rather than decades, earlier. It took less than a second to bring it all back.

I remembered how I had taken away Kathy's human life and replaced it with another.

I had been so sure that I was hunting her. I _had_ been hunting her, blindly following my instincts, until it was too late.

After our first encounter, I had possessively watched Katherine for months, biding my time, waiting for the right moment to close in. It made my life easier that she was still living on her college campus. Even though there was no trail to follow, I was secure in the knowledge that she was living just where I wanted her, under my watchful eye. Whenever my tracking took me away from San Francisco, I would always return to check on her at the first opportunity.

Kathy was a special treat and I was saving her up. I already knew that her blood belonged to me. She was my prey. Mine. And if any other vampire had gone near her I would have killed them without hesitation. Not that many would have taken the risk. My scent trails encircled her building and all her regular hang-outs, warding off everyone who knew me.

I was tempted to draw the game to a close on a number of occasions, but every time I decided to end her life, Kathy would do something interesting and win herself a reprieve. She was full of surprises. In my idle hours, I often found myself wondering what she was going to do next, and whatever happened, it would always be the last thing that I expected. Kathy was like my very own daytime soap and I had no particular desire lose the entertainment that she provided.

But this changed after she graduated. I was tracking in Arizona at the time, and when I returned to Berkeley I discovered that she was gone. I was absolutely furious. My overpoweringly vengeful feelings made no logical sense, since Kathy was unaware that I had any connection with her, but I still felt as if she had walked out on me. In an instant, my interest in running her to ground went from mild to deadly serious. I realised that the game had gone on for long enough; it was time to end it.

I tracked her down with terrifying ease. My sense of smell and my instincts stood me in good stead, and it took almost no time to find her.

She was working a summer job in an exclusive country club near Carmel. My movements were limited by the sunny, summer weather, and so I had to wait until nightfall before I could approach the country club. I had considered just walking in as a guest, but in the end I decided to keep my distance. I hadn't been keeping tabs on this girl for months, just to blow the whole thing with a show of impatience.

I leapt the outer fence instead, and made my way across the darkened golf course. Once I reached the clubhouse, I stayed out of sight and circled the building, trying to catch a glimpse of Kathy through the windows.

When I rounded the corner of the lounge bar, I finally caught sight of her. It was a warm night and the double doors of the bar had been flung open. She was standing by the bar collecting a tray of drinks from the bartender.

I was surprised by how happy I was to see her again. I had missed her. I could hear her strong heartbeat and the sound flooded me with an extreme sense of relief. She was safe, no one had claimed her. This relief was enough to dull the rage that had been burning inside me since her disappearance. I moved away from the clubhouse and found a quiet spot in the nearby trees, where I could watch her from a discrete distance.

Kathy was dressed in a formal waitress's uniform which showed off her spectacular figure, a pretty white blouse, a dark fitted skirt and high heeled shoes. She had definitely been in the sun; her skin was more tanned than when I had last seen her. She was wearing make-up and her thick hair had been pinned into a glamorous hair-up, rather than being allowed to fall in its usual wild waves. She looked stunning, but not quite herself. I still preferred her dressed in her normal clothes, and looking like a hippy chick.

She moved gracefully across the bar and delivered the tray of drinks to a table of middle-aged men in expensive suits and ties. They all seemed to know her, because they greeted her with a friendly familiarity and used her name. I had spent enough weeks watching Katherine to see that she felt comfortable with these people. She handed out their drinks with a relaxed smile.

Their table was beside the terrace doors, which gave me the perfect view of their conversation. One of the men, a round, balding guy with a wide smile, took a sip of his drink and glanced up at her with an approving nod.

"This martini is perfect… I may just have to marry you, Katherine."

She raised an eyebrow, humouring him. "What would your wife say about that?"

"I'm not sure... she might actually _thank_ you."

Kathy smiled at his hopeful expression. "Hmmm… that doesn't sound very encouraging. It must be true what they say, 'a waitress gets the tips and a wife gets the laundry'." She shook her head and tidied the table. "And Mr Goldman, your tips are too generous for me to exchange."

"Ah well… it was worth a try," he said, looking the opposite of downcast.

It was safe to assume that this man's wife never had to go anywhere near the laundry, and I thought that it showed restraint on his part not to mention that he had a maid. The other guys chucked, and one of them, a distinguished looking man with grey hair, glanced up at Kathy and said in a mild tone.

"Don't worry, Miss Lewis. Whatever we might say, we are all perfectly aware that youth calls to youth. And you, my dear, could have your pick of any _young_ man you wanted."

She threw him a sceptical smile. "Um… well, I wouldn't know about that, Mr Allan."

I would.

Kathy might not choose to acknowledge it, but in the months that I'd followed her, I'd seen how desirable she was to human men. The girl was an Amazon. The older man obviously agreed with me, he gave a slightly sardonic smile.

"Oh, come now… surely there's someone out there to tempt you? Who's the lucky man?"

I rested my shoulder against a nearby tree and smirked. In the time since our first encounter, I had been surprised and gratified to see that Kathy had steadfastly remained single. She had rejected every man who approached her. It had pleased me, the thought of her dating some guy was similar to the way a human would feel if another person coughed all over their lunch. Katherine was my prey and I would have killed any man who tried to touch her.

Kathy met his eyes and answered lightly. "There's no one."

As she said the words, I heard Kathy's heart rate suddenly hitch. However cool she looked on the outside, her heart was running a marathon. The smile was instantly wiped off my face. My eyes narrowed and I watched intently as her gaze dropped to the table. This small movement told me everything I needed to know.

_Goddammit. _

Kathy was lying.

The grey haired man shook his head. "I sometimes lose my faith in modern youth. What on earth are all the young men thinking?"

The others agreed with him and Katherine gave a gentle smile and politely excused herself, moving away to take an order from another party. I could hear the older men still talking about her. They were all in agreement that younger generation clearly didn't have a clue when it came to appreciating beautiful women like Kathy. I heard the word 'hippies' being grumbled by one of them, but I was only half listening.

Most of my energy was focused on fighting back my rage, and resisting the urge to storm the country club. Kathy's claim that there was no man in her life was a lie. And I was so pissed about it, that if she'd been standing close enough, I wouldn't have bothered to drain her, I would have just reached out and broken her damn neck.

As it was, I managed to hold back my temper for long enough to consider how this had come about. I knew damn well that she hadn't let any man near her while she was in Berkeley, I would have picked up their scent if she had. So this must have happened while I was away.

It was obvious that I'd been gone for too long. I should have been around, protecting my property, instead of assuming that she was safe. Next time I saw Dante, I was going to kick his ass. It was his idea to take that stupid trail in the first place. It had taken me out of California for nearly a month. That was plenty of time for Kathy to leave college and hook up with some loser. I clenched my fists, now I had another human to add to my list. As soon as I was done with her, I was going to track down her son-of-a-bitch boyfriend and kill him too.

I stayed hidden in the darkness, watching Kathy. My bloodlust was almost overwhelming, but I counted to a thousand and fought it back. I couldn't let my vengeful feelings make me weak and reckless. I'd never allowed my anger to rule me before, and I wasn't about to let it take over now. I was going to _choose_ my moment, just as I always had. So I just stood on that golf course, breathing in the warm night air and planning my next move.

I was in luck. A couple of hours later the table of men called for their drinks bill. Kathy, who had been serving them throughout the evening, came over with the bill. As she set it down, the round guy thanked her for her service.

"Will we see you tomorrow, Katherine?" He asked with a pleasant smile.

She shook her head. "I'm afraid not, Mr Goldman. Tuesday is my day off."

"Lucky you." He nodded affably. "Got any plans?"

"I thought I might head down to Point Lobos, spend a day relaxing on the beach."

"I'm sure you've earned a break, you work too hard." He sounded a little nostalgic as he added. "It's beautiful there at this time of the year. I'm sure you'll have a great day."

He handed her an enormous tip and she thanked him with real gratitude. The men rose to leave the bar and said that they'd see her later in the week. Of course, none of them knew that this would be their final goodbye.

I continued to watch the bar, until Kathy finished her shift and headed to her room in the staff quarters. These were located in another building and I followed her and waited in the garden below her open window, until her steady breathing told me that she had fallen asleep. At that point I returned to my motel with a fully formed plan.

I spent the next few hours going through everything in my head. I checked through the contents of my backpack, and showered and changed clothes. I checked out of my room before sunrise. I couldn't risk being trapped indoors by the sunshine. Once I was out of the motel, I made my way back to the country club.

I spent several tedious hours lying low in the grounds. I found a safe place to hide my backpack, while I waited for Kathy to leave her room. I fully intended to catch up with her that day, but I had a couple of small things to take care of first. She finally left the staff quarters at around ten in the morning.

I saw her heading towards the staff exit, wearing a white cotton shirt, embroidered with ethnic patterns, and a pair of denim shorts, which revealed just the right amount of her long brown legs. Her hair was loose and she was carrying a beach bag. She looked much more like herself than on the previous evening.

The second that she disappeared out of sight I flew into action. Her room was on the upper floor of the staff quarters. There was no one around and it took me less than thirty seconds to scale the building and climb through her window. It was convenient that she had left it slightly ajar, if I'd had to break through the glass, the sound might have drawn attention to what I was doing.

Once inside, I immediately checked her door. I was pleased to find it locked. It was good to know that I wouldn't be disturbed by someone just popping in to look for Kathy. The last thing I needed was to have to dispose of another body. I had deliberately kept myself hungry, so I would really enjoy this kill. I didn't want anyone taking the edge off my appetite.

After establishing that Katherine's room was secure, I took a long look around me and breathed in her scent. I couldn't believe how soothing I found it. I'd hardly realised how tense I was, until the muscles in my shoulders relaxed. I rolled them and took another deep breath.

This time I was looking for something else. I wanted the scent of the guy she was dating. I was aware that she might be going to meet him at the beach, but once she was dead I wouldn't be able to return to her room, so if he wasn't on the beach then I would still need to be able to find the bastard.

I went through her closet and dresser, trying to pick up his scent. As I would have expected, her clothes and possessions carried the smells of washing powder, perfume, soap and the faint scent of other humans. This was inevitable for someone who was working with a large number of people. None of them stood out to me. There was no distinctive scent in the room but hers.

I had expected a number of items to strongly scent of one male, but there was nothing, not even a memento that could make me suspicious. This led me to believe that if Kathy was dating a guy, then she probably hadn't seen him since arriving in Carmel. Maybe she had a long-distance boyfriend? It was either that, or she was interested in someone, but the relationship hadn't gone anywhere yet.

This thought cheered me up, especially since after today she was never going to get another chance to see him anyway. Not that that knowledge would stop me from hunting him down, if I ever gained a clue to his identity. He wouldn't be able to protect himself from me, any more than he could protect Kathy. I smiled at this thought, and then turned my attention to the most important job at hand.

Years of habit dictated that I cover my tracks before making the kill. I needed Kathy's employers and co-workers to assume that she'd just quit without warning. The less suspicious her departure appeared to be, the better. If she disappeared and left behind a room full of things, then everyone would think that something bad had happened to her.

I found her travel bag crammed into the bottom of her closet, and quickly started to pack all her personal possessions into it. She didn't have that much stuff and it didn't take me long. When I was rifling through the bundle of papers in her dresser, I found her passport, some cash, and a few letters.

I also discovered a picture of Kathy and a good-looking young guy, sitting side by side on a beach. I froze and took a long look at the photograph. Was this the mystery boyfriend?

There was no doubt that she was close to the guy. He had his arm around her, and she was giving him a very affectionate smile. As my eyes travelled from her face to his, my instincts kicked in and I could breathe again. The family resemblance was obvious. He had to be Katherine's brother. They had the same colouring, the same smile. His eyes were grey, rather than aqua blue, but they were definitely the same shape as hers. He even had an athletic look, just the way that she did.

I was about to put the picture into her bag, along with everything else, but I hesitated and shoved it into my pocket instead. Once I was done, I took one last glance around her room to check that I hadn't missed anything, and then climbed out through the window, sliding it closed behind me. I left the staff quarters carrying her bag. I intended to dispose of her things at a convenient moment, preferably at some distance from Carmel, where they could never be found and connected with the missing girl.

I retrieved my own backpack from the shrubbery and set out for Point Lobos. It was only a few miles away. I kept well away from the roads. The day was sunny and I had to take care not to be caught glittering in public. I was fairly confident that Kathy had taken the bus. So I followed a fairly straightforward route towards the coast.

As I ran I thought about Katherine. My time following her had been interesting, and when she wasn't lying her ass off about having a boyfriend, it had been fun. I had enjoyed myself. I had liked being near her and she'd provided plenty of entertainment with her various activities, like her race meets, which I'd always watched them when I was in town. She was fast – for a human.

I almost felt sad to know that soon she would be gone for good. I pushed this thought to the back of my mind, disgusted by my own sentimentality. Her blood was mine and her time was up. That's just how things were and she should be grateful that I'd let her live as long as I had.

When I arrived at Point Lobos, Kathy had already headed down to one of the sheltered coves. There weren't many people around. If it had been a weekend, the place would have been really busy. I found a quiet spot on the low cliff which overlooked the beach. The cliff was overgrown with pine trees and shrubbery, and it was easy to hide my presence. It was far too sunny to break cover and go onto the beach, so I dropped the bags, found a comfortable place to sit, and settled down to watch her.

It was obvious that Kathy had only just arrived, because she was busy laying out her beach towel. When she was done, she pulled her shirt over her head and shimmied out of her shorts, to reveal a completely tanned and toned body, and a small white bikini. She sat down and began to rub sun lotion over her velvety golden skin. Just for a second, I envied that lotion.

I spent the whole day quietly watching her. For the first few hours I half expected to see her boyfriend appear, but he never did. She really seemed to have come to the beach to relax on her own. She had brought a novel, a picnic, and some pens and notepaper. She spent an hour or so writing, and after that she went for a swim. She was a good swimmer. I could see her through the waves, gliding smoothly underwater.

When she finally emerged, she stepped out of the surf looking like a mermaid. Her long wet hair was clinging to her body. Small droplets of water glistened on her hair and skin, and her eyes looked almost transparent green against her dark brows and lashes. It seemed right that her scent reminded me of the sea; she looked as if she was somehow a part of it.

Kathy seemed to have excess energy to burn, because instead of sitting down, she grinned and flipped herself over and walked across the sand on her hands. I could see the strong muscles in her arms and shoulders flexing as she moved. I could see why I had chosen her, she really was beautiful.

When she reached her towel, she flipped herself the right way up and dropped down to her knees to rummage through her bag in search of food. After her lunch, she spent some time reading and then took a nap. A breeze was blowing off the sea and carrying her scent up the cliff. I could smell seaweed, Katherine and coconut sun lotion. These fragrances made a surprisingly pleasant combination.

Kathy then slept for several hours, sprawled out on her towel, lazily soaking in the afternoon sunshine. She made me think of a sleeping lion as her thick mane of hair dried in the sun. A mass of rich, honey blonde waves, streaked with gold, falling across her brown shoulders. I didn't get bored of watching her, I hardly realised that the hours were slipping by as I counted every breath. I even forgot that I was angry with her.

The non-appearance of her mystery man might have had something to do with that. If he'd suddenly showed up then my rage would have re-emerged with a vengeance, but as it was I could just relax and enjoy myself too. I was glad that Katherine's very last day should be a nice one. After all, she had given me weeks of entertainment and it only seemed fair to end things on a high note.

During the day a number of people came and went from the beach. No one disturbed Kathy, although a few couple of guys looked as if they wanted to. And I sat watching, waiting patiently for the moment when I could finally claim her blood. I planned to catch her as she left the cove. She would have to climb the cliff path through the trees, and that was where I would make my move.

By the late afternoon, Kathy was the only person left on the beach. She had woken up, eaten a snack, and read some more of her book. She still seemed to be in no hurry to leave the beach, though she did put her shorts and shirt back on.

The afternoon turned to evening as the sun dropped in the sky. The air was still warm and balmy. Kathy sat on the beach, as the sun sank lower and lower on the horizon. She stayed to watch her last sunset. It was very beautiful. The blazing red orb sent fiery paths of pink and orange across the sea.

When the sun finally went down I realised that I didn't have to wait any longer. I was now free to go into the open. I could have held back until Katherine had packed up and walked the cliff path, but I was impatient. I had waited for long enough. I stashed the bags out of sight and went down to the beach.

Kathy didn't see me when I stepped onto the sand. She was on her feet, facing the other direction, folding up her towel and packing away her things. If I'd had a living heart it would have been thumping as I crossed the sand. I couldn't remember the last time a trail had meant so much to me.

It wasn't until I was close that she finally noticed my presence. She gave a start and spun around to face me. Her eyes went straight to my face and they flew wide as they met mine. I came to a standstill a few feet away.

She didn't speak, but her gaze stayed locked on mine. I was shocked by the intensity of her expression. Her eyes shone feverishly and a soft pink tinged her cheeks. She didn't look angry or afraid. She looked exhilarated, glowing as if a torch had been lit deep inside her.

"_You…!_" she gasped, her gaze never breaking. "You_ came.._."

Of all the reactions that I might have expected, this wasn't one of them.

It wasn't entirely surprising that she remembered me. After all, vampires were designed to be attractive to humans, and this made us memorable to them. But her words, and the fierce emotion in her voice, suggested something more. Kathy didn't just recognise me, she sounded as if she had been waiting for me. I could see it in her eyes. They were full of joy.

It wasn't often that I found myself at a disadvantage, but her reaction momentarily threw me. I had an uneasy feeling that the situation was slipping beyond my control. I wasn't sure of how to respond, and before I knew it, I was taking a step back.

Kathy saw the guarded look on my face and her expression instantly changed. Her breath caught in her throat and her cheeks flooded with colour. I could feel the heat of her blood from where I stood. She had clearly been caught off-guard by my unexpected arrival and had been unable to hold her feelings in check. But when she saw my doubt, she realised that it was pure chance that I was there, and she was acutely embarrassed by her impulsive response to me.

I could almost hear the rational voice inside her head, telling her that not only was there no way I could have come to this obscure location to find her, but also that I had absolutely no idea of who she was. Her lovely eyes fell to the ground and she began to stutter.

"I'm sorry…" Her face was still flaming as she turned away and tried to hide her humiliation. "I… I thought you were someone else…"

Kathy's obvious embarrassment made it much easier for me to regain control of the situation. Although I was genuinely confused by her strange reaction, I quickly realised that if she already saw me in a positive light, then my task would be much easier. Dragging her into the woods, kicking and screaming, wasn't quite my style. I didn't get much pleasure from playing with my food, and I had no desire to terrify or torture her. She had been very entertaining, and had earned herself a quick and tidy death.

Having said that, I was in no rush to deliver it, there was plenty of time before the dawn, and after weeks of watching Kathy from afar, I was curious to spend a little time with her. After all, this would be my last chance to do so.

I watched as she threw the last few things into her bag and slung it over her shoulder. Her cheeks were still red and she kept her gaze fixed on the ground, determined to avoid my eye as she tried to make her escape.

"Well, um... goodbye…" she murmured.

I wanted her to look at me. Before she could walk away, I stepped closer. "Hey, it's ok. I remember you too."

She stopped dead in her tracks and glanced up with a cautious expression, searching my face for the truth. "You _do?_"

I could see that she wanted to believe me, even though she was sceptical. I was surprised by how much I wanted her to know that I was telling the truth. I wanted her to trust me for all the right reasons, and as I looked into her beautiful face, the urge to touch her became irresistible. Before I could stop myself, I reached out and lightly rested my hand on her golden cheek.

I leaned in, replying quietly. "Yeah, I do."

Her soft skin was very warm under my cool touch. She didn't seem to mind the cold. I'm not sure that she noticed it at all. Her expression softened and she gave a hesitant smile. I held still for a moment, just staring into her eyes, until I was distracted by the feel of her pulse against my fingers. This was not the moment to lose control and I slowly lifted my hand away.

This small movement brought her to her senses and she blinked and glanced away. She looked as if she was still considering whether or not to leave, but I wasn't going to have that. Kathy wasn't going anywhere, so I smiled persuasively.

"Since we're both here, would you like to take a walk? It's a beautiful evening."

Before she had a chance to object, I reached out and took her hand in mine. Her heart beat wildly, but instead of pulling away, she returned the pressure of my fingers with a small squeeze, and nodded.

"Sure, that would be nice…" And there was that smile again.

I brushed my thumb over the back of her hand and grinned. "Great."

Kathy gave no resistance as I started walking, gently tugging her to follow me along the beach. We didn't speak for a few minutes, until she turned to me.

"What's your name?"

"Leo." I gave her a sideways glance. "What's yours?" As if I didn't know.

"I'm Katherine." She met my eyes for a second. "But my good friends call me Kathy."

"It's nice to meet you, Kathy."

She gave me an appraising look and another beautiful smile broke through. "It's nice to meet you too, Leo."

I didn't think that it would do any harm to really take her on a walk. I was in no hurry to end our time together and she seemed to like the idea, so I led her across the sand, towards the low cliffs that encircled the cove. We found a narrow path leading over the rocky ground to the next beach along the coast.

We walked in a surprisingly comfortable silence over the headland, and eventually found ourselves on a longer beach. It was less sheltered from the elements, but still very beautiful, with grassy banks and cliffs running along edge of the sand, and dark rocks jutting out of the sea at the beach head.

I was pleased to discover that this beach was deserted. It was getting darker by the minute, and there were plenty of places where we could be completely unseen by anyone walking on the cliff path. It would have been easy to lead Kathy into the shadows, but I took her close to the water's edge instead. I smelled the faint aroma of seaweed blowing ashore. It mixed well with the scent of the girl beside me.

We strolled a long way along the darkening beach, and I noticed that the first stars were starting to appear. I had deliberately been paying more attention to my surroundings than to my silent companion. Humans grew uneasy when they felt they were being watched, and I wanted to keep her relaxed. All of a sudden, I felt a gentle squeeze on my hand. I looked down at Kathy. She stopped walking and spoke for the first time, her expression was uncertain.

"Why are you really here?" She asked quietly, raising her beautiful eyes to mine. "You couldn't have come here for me?"

For the second time that evening, my thoughts were confused. I had my prey a hair's breadth away from me, but hunting was not in the forefront of my mind. I was glad that she was there, but not because I was feeling a strong bloodlust. I could hardly understand what had drawn me to follow this girl. I released her warm hand and looked towards the sea.

"Would you mind if I had?" I asked casually, my face still turned away from hers.

"No. I think I'd be glad."

Katherine's bold answer gave me a strange sense of elation. My eyes flashed towards her face, but she had already twisted away to continue on our path towards the beach head.

This was the strangest hunt that I had ever been on. I couldn't remember feeling this way before, triumphant that my prey was pleased to see me. Normally I was just glad to have cornered them. Although I didn't understand what was going on, I decided to go with it anyway. Maybe this was an extra part of the game, which would only make the final moments more satisfying.

I was surprised that Kathy seemed to be so at ease. Usually, by this point, the fear would have kicked in. I reminded myself that it kept the atmosphere pleasant, at least for now. I turned to follow her, just as she leaned down to untie her sandals. She pulled them off and shoved them into her bag, then stepped into the water. She kept to the shallowest edge, just a few inches deep, and her footprints disappeared in the water behind her.

"This is nice, you ought to try it." She smiled up at me, her transparent eyes inviting me to join her.

"It's ok, I like my feet dry!" I smiled back.

There was something about her. When the time came, I wouldn't draw out her pain. She was going to have the quickest death I could deliver. I could at least give her that.

"Is that so?"

Kathy gave an impish grin and grabbed my hand to pull me into the water. Of course she had no idea what a wasted effort it would be to try to overpower me. She pulled my arm and found that she made absolutely no headway. I smiled and with one swift movement jerked her out of the sea towards me.

She gasped as she found herself pinned to my chest, staring up into my face. My arm was wrapped tightly around her waist and her hand held firmly in place by mine. She didn't struggle; she just lifted her free hand to my chest and rested her head against my shoulder.

Yet again, I was surprised that the coolness of my body didn't repel her. I could feel the blood pulsing through her whole body and her warmth stealing though me. She raised her trusting eyes to mine and smiled. Something in that smile went straight to my heart, and before I realised what I was doing, I had clasped my free arm around her waist and lowered my head to kiss her.

Kathy responded instantly, slipping her arm around my neck and raising her beautiful face to mine. Her lips felt amazingly warm as they met mine and they tasted so good that I tightened my hold on her. She didn't seem to mind, she just pulled me closer.

This girl was incredible; more passionate than a vampire, more passionate than anyone ever. As her soft lips moved with mine, the feelings which coursed through me were like nothing I had experienced before. I felt weak and strong, confused and completely focused, all at the same time. And the whole time the warmth of her blood called to me, but I didn't want to end this kiss to answer it.

In my twenty four years of humanity and thirty years of immortality, no one had ever affected me this way. I moved my hand to cradle the back of her head, allowing my fingers run through her thick hair and holding her as close as I could.

Her tongue gently swept along my lower lip and a shiver ran through both of us. She was so intoxicating, I couldn't let her go. I wanted to kiss all of her. I moved my mouth across her cheek to her jaw. She lifted her chin, her eyes closed, allowing me to run my lips over her silken skin.

I could no longer hear the waves lapping at our feet or feel the gentle sea breeze. All my senses were overcome by the girl in my arms. My lips followed a path down her jaw to caress her throat and she continued to hold me as tightly as I held her. Her heart was racing and her pulse hammered through the bronze skin of her neck. I took an involuntary breath and was hit by her scent. The fire blazed down my throat and in that moment I completely lost my head.

It was as if my senses suddenly remembered that I was a vampire before my reason had any chance to catch up. My instincts overwhelmed me and my mouth flooded with venom. I instantly raised my head, like a snake, waiting to strike. I felt my jaw close around her fragile throat long before I could consider the move. She gasped and cried out in pain, struggling frantically to escape me, but my cold hands held her in place like merciless steel traps.

My instincts continued to rule my actions as I tasted her sweet blood in my mouth. For a few moments she fought to free herself, whimpering in pain and horror, but her resistance was short lived. After one last attempt to pull away, her body fell limp in my arms.

I don't know how, but this circumstance shocked my mind out of the frenzy of feeding. For a split second I wondered if she was already dead, if I had killed her. My thoughts raced wildly and I was hit by a revelation which was so unexpected that it almost knocked me over.

I suddenly realised that nothing mattered to me as much as this girl. She had consumed me from our first meeting. For weeks I had believed that Kathy was mine, but I was wrong. She owned me. Everything I was, everything I would ever be, belonged to her, but I had been too blind to see it. And I finally saw what a pointless void my existence would be, if I lost her now.

This agonising realisation was enough to allow me mastery over my instincts. Although it was probably too late, I wrenched myself away from her. Her bloodied body crumpled as she fell. I caught her in my arms before she hit the ground and lifted her off her feet.

It was then that I heard the sounds of a weak heartbeat. Relief and torment filled my mind. Kathy was still alive, I hadn't killed her. I clutched her tighter and stared down at the deep bite-marks on her throat.

Crimson rivulets of blood streamed down her neck and over her brown chest and shoulders, soaking her summer shirt. My precious girl, even her beautiful hair was wet with gore. My throat burned from the overwhelming stench of blood, and for the first time in my life I faced the true horror of my actions. What terrible thing had I done?

There would be no going back from this. No way that I could ever make it right.

It had been fitting that when Kathy awoke to her new life, she had looked at me with nothing but hatred and betrayal in her eyes. Any regard that she'd felt for me had been killed, just as surely as I'd murdered her human body.

"_Leo…?_"

A gentle voice drew me back to the present.

Only a few seconds had passed while I'd relived my most treacherous act, but I was still left feeling shaken. Just knowing that I had destroyed this innocent girl with my selfishness was almost too hard to face. A girl who'd cared for me, a girl who had _trusted_ me. And for what? What had either of us gained from my vicious attack? I had condemned us both to a lifetime of sorrow and regret.

It took me a moment to push back these painful memories and focus on Katherine. She was still watching my face, waiting patiently for an answer. I could see the nervous uncertainty in her eyes as she repeated her question.

"Why did you do it, Leo? Why did you change me?"

She looked worried, afraid of what I might say. I wasn't entirely sure of how to answer. I knew that it would be futile to tell her everything. There were some things that Kathy really wouldn't want to hear, and my feelings fell into that category. But I didn't want to lie to her either, not now, not when I was trying to give an honest apology. I stared at the ground. I was too deeply ashamed to meet her eye.

"I was tracking you, Kathy. I had planned to kill you. You started out as prey… and turning you was an accident."

I didn't watch her reaction, I just kept my eyes lowered and waited for her to say something. I braced myself for the anger, the accusations, but Kathy remained silent. I cautiously raised my eyes to her face and found that she wasn't looking at me at all. Her gaze was on the water. Her expression was hard to read, but she didn't seem angry.

"Thank you for telling me the truth. It explains a lot…"

Her calm response momentarily threw me. I had been so prepared for her disgust and fury that I hardly knew how to answer. I was so confused, that when I finally spoke, what I meant to say came out all wrong.

"You're welcome…"

I cringed inwardly and wondered if I could have said anything more stupid, but Kathy didn't appear to be bothered by my completely inappropriate reply. She just nodded and looked up at me with composure. She seemed to have a really tight rein on her emotions, she wasn't giving anything away.

"Thank you for your apology, Leo. I appreciate what you've said. It can't have been easy to tell me this."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Katherine was actually thanking me for admitting that after not quite managing to slaughter her, I had turned her into a demon by_ mistake_. I knew that Kathy was tough, but I would have expected some feeling to show through. But there was nothing, her expression was detached, clinical even.

And that was when it hit me. I knew why she wasn't outraged. Nothing I'd confessed had come as a shock to her. Katherine already believed that I'd hunted her. I had only confirmed her suspicions. She knew exactly what I was, she'd known it for half a century, and it was clear that she had never really imagined that I could have been motivated by anything but bloodlust. The only reason she had asked for an explanation was because she couldn't understand why I hadn't just killed her outright.

I could only be thankful that Kathy didn't know the full reason. My pride couldn't have stood her knowing the truth. It was easier to handle her rejection if she believed me to be devoid of all feeling, at least then I could leave with my dignity intact. Having her throw my love back in my face would be another matter entirely.

Katherine seemed to think that our conversation was over, because she took a step away from me.

"Well, anyway." She gave a slight smile and avoided meeting my eyes. "I'd better get back to the campground…"

She started to move away.

"Kathy, wait! Don't go." I couldn't let her leave. I wasn't done yet.

Katherine stopped in her tracks and turned to me with a guarded expression. "What is it?"

"There's something else…" She looked suspicious, but at least she didn't try to leave. I quickly tried to explain. "I've got something that belongs to you."

I reached into my jacket pocket and pulled out my wallet. She watched silently as I flipped it open and began to pull her picture from the plastic sleeve. It took me a second to wiggle it free. I put my wallet away, but kept hold of the photograph. I looked at it one last time, before offering it to her.

Kathy seemed puzzled as she reached out and took the picture. I watched closely, as she peered down at the aged photograph. She frowned in confusion and her gaze became more fixed.

"I don't…" She broke off as her eyes widened in sudden shock. "_No!_" She gasped and her calm air disappeared. Her hand began to shake so violently that I wondered if she was going to drop the picture. She looked up at me with stunned expression. "_It can't be…!_" The shaking continued. "This is… this is… Bobby…" Her eyes were burning as she turned back to the picture. "This is_ me…!_"

She was totally overwhelmed, far more than I had expected her to be, and I felt completely powerless. I wanted to help her, but didn't know how to. I suddenly wished that I'd just kept the picture to myself. If I'd known that she was going to be this shocked, I wouldn't have said anything. I had only meant to return what was rightfully hers. I hadn't meant to disturb her so badly.

"Kathy, are you ok?"

She didn't reply. I wasn't sure that she even heard me. She stared down at the picture in anguish. "I can't believe it… I don't… _I can't_..."

I tried to say something helpful, but it just sounded lame. "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

At that point I realised that I had instinctively moved closer, and stopped in my tracks. Kathy didn't seem to notice, all her concentration was locked on the picture in her hands. Even by vampire standards, her skin had grown unusually pale, and all her muscles were tense.

"Leo." Her voice was anguished. "Where did you get this?"

I told the truth. "I found it the day that you were turned… and I kept it."

If she had been thinking more clearly she might have asked why I had taken it. But instead she picked up on another point.

"You've had this for all that time?" She looked at me in disbelief. "_Why?_"

I lowered my voice. "I didn't want to throw it away, in case I saw you again."

This was a ridiculously inadequate explanation, but Kathy seemed to be too shocked to feel angry, or even to question me further. This made me feel guilty, rather than relieved. She should have been tearing my head off for stealing from her. It was the final insult, on top of everything else I'd done. But the recriminations never came.

She just took a deep breath and hugged the picture to her chest. "Thank you." Raw emotion flooded her voice. "Thank you for keeping it safe, for not destroying it. You have no idea what this means to me…"

Her gratitude was actually more painful to me than her anger. The fact that she was thanking me, for returning what I had _stolen_ from her, shamed me. The picture was rightfully hers, and her reaction sharpened my remorse and self-loathing far more than recriminations could ever have done. I had absolutely nothing to say. I stood mutely, wishing that the ground would just swallow me up.

Katherine took a step away from me and dropped her eyes, saying softly. "Would you mind if I had a moment alone?"

I cursed myself that she needed to ask. Of course she'd want some time to come to terms with what I'd given her, without me getting in the way.

"Oh, yeah. Sure…" I quickly turned to leave. "I'll see you later."

I took a few hasty steps, but before I'd reached the path, Kathy called after me.

"Leo!"

I glanced over my shoulder and saw that she was watching me. She met my eyes with an earnest expression.

"Please, I don't want you to feel guilty about the past anymore. We all make mistakes. Our lives are really long and sometimes we just have to let things go." She took a steadying breath and added quietly. "So, for what it's worth, I do forgive you… for everything."

I stood in stunned silence. I couldn't believe what she'd just said. But before I could respond, she had turned away, giving me an unspoken dismissal. Somehow, I managed to pull myself together and leave the lake without any further drama. It wasn't until I had reached the treeline that my thoughts became slightly more coherent.

I passed into the woods and came to a standstill. There was only one thought in my mind. It wasn't a dream, the impossible had really happened. Bracing my arm on the trunk of a fir, I took a deep breath and tried to get a grip on the emotions that were raging through me. I felt completely overwhelmed.

All these years I had been living under a heavy weight of guilt. I had hardly realised how crushing it had been until this moment. But Kathy had told me that I could let it go, she didn't want me to carry the burden any longer. She wanted to lift the weight from my shoulders.

She had forgiven me.

Hanging my head, I closed my eyes and tried to breathe evenly. After everything that had happened, after everything I had done to her, Kathy was prepared to treat me with magnanimity. I knew that she was a decent person, but it was only then that I realised just how truly kind she really was.

This was why she was far too good for me, why she had always been too good for me. Even if we'd both been human she would _still_ have been too good for me. As a mortal, Kathy had been a bright and loving person. She had cared about other peoples' feelings.

I could hardly have said the same for myself. To say that I'd been selfish would have been an understatement. Before I was turned, I'd been a fighting, womanising jerk. And things hadn't exactly changed after I'd received the wondrous gift of eternal life. I'd brought all my worst human traits along with me. I could fool other people into thinking that I was a bastard because I was a vampire, but inside I knew the truth and it was embarrassing to know little I had changed. The only real difference was that now I had even more power to do harm.

And the only person who really understood this about me was Kathy. When we'd travelled together we had got to know each other pretty well. I had told her things about both my lives. Things that I hadn't told anyone else, not even Hal. She knew what I was before and after my change. Kathy knew exactly what I was capable of, because she really knew me. All the bad things that she'd ever said about me were true.

And here I was, all these years later, confronting the consequences of my actions. And yet again, Katherine had shown me that she was the bigger person. She must have been hurting, but she had put aside her feelings to do what she believed was right. She had forgiven me freely, even though she knew that I didn't remotely deserve it.

As I thought about what Kathy had done for me, it suddenly occurred to me that I probably shouldn't have just walked away from the lake. I had delivered her a real blow when I returned the picture. I'd seen how shocked she was. She had thanked me with genuine gratitude, but that didn't mean that I hadn't brought up some hard memories.

I suddenly felt really worried about her. Maybe I shouldn't have left her alone. She might need some support. This thought made me release my grip on the tree trunk and stand upright. I made the decision and quickly turned to retrace my steps to the lake.

I moved silently through the trees. I didn't want to just charge back to her, I needed to be cautious. When I reached the edge of the woods, I paused for a moment. I had a good view of the lake from my vantage point. I could see Kathy a little way along the shore.

She hadn't moved from the spot where I'd left her. The only difference was that she was now sitting on the ground with her knees pulled up to her chest. Her arms were wrapped around her legs and her forehead was resting on her knees. Her thick hair cascaded over her legs and shoulders, completely hiding her face. She didn't seem to realise that I had returned.

I watched quietly and didn't move a muscle. Kathy looked as if she was in an emotional state and I was unsure if I should proceed. I stood in silence, trying to make up my mind. The lake was peaceful and I could hear everything around me. That was when I caught the faint sound of her voice.

She was speaking so quietly that it was barely more than a whisper, but the pain resonating in her tone was unmistakeable. I listened intently, trying to make out her words. And when I finally heard what she was saying, I wished that I hadn't. She was talking to her dead brother and it tore me up inside to hear it.

"I'm sorry, Bobby… I'm so sorry… I didn't mean for this to happen…" she whispered despairingly. "I never meant to take so long… I swear I'll see you again… and mom too. It might not be for a really, really long time… but this has to end someday… I promise… please wait for me… please…"

She continued speaking, the words tumbling from her lips in a mantra of grief and longing. The pain that she hid so carefully from the world was pouring out of her. And I just stood, helplessly watching. I wanted to go to her. I had caused her to feel this way and I was desperate to lift her into my arms and comfort her, but before I could take a step forward, I came to my senses.

I knew how proud she was. Kathy had let down her guard because she believed that no one was watching. If I disturbed her now, in this moment of private grieving, she would bitterly resent it. She didn't want comfort from me and she would probably never forgive me for seeing her this way. I didn't have the right to intrude, we just didn't have that kind of relationship, so the only thing I could do was walk away.

It was with deep regret that I turned my back on her and silently retreated into the trees. As I made my way back to the campground through the cool forest, I tried not to think of the broken-hearted girl who I had left by the water's edge.

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, or added this story to their lists. I really appreciated it! Also an extra thanks to Frank, sorry I couldn't PM you. I was giving this chapter one last read through when I your reminder arrived. :)**

**Anyway, thank you for reading, have a lovely fortnight (I will post the next chapter in two weeks).**

**Mad :)**


	55. Leo, the right thing

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

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><p><strong>A special thank you to willowbae for all her beta-ing, and more importantly big congratulations because she is now an <em>AUNTIE <em>to a gorgeous new nephew! *yay* :)**

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><p><strong>Chapter 55.<strong>

**Leo – the right thing**

"The bus will be here soon. Maybe we should try to find her, Jake."

Red sounded anxious and even Jacob was starting to look slightly concerned. I had covered for Kathy's absence after returning to the campground. I'd assumed that she wouldn't want me to tell them what was going on, so I'd made up an excuse about her taking a longer walk around the lake. But she had been gone for several hours and there was a limit to how long I could keep it going.

Remembering the state that I'd left her in, I was feeling increasingly worried. I knew that she needed some time alone, but I was scared that she might have completely lost it. An unstable vampire was no joke, and I didn't really relish the thought of having to hunt Kathy down and physically restrain her.

Jake stroked Nessie's cheek. "Sure, I'll go take a look. Just try to stop worrying, ok. I'm sure everything's fine."

He was about to stand up, but I beat him to it, swiftly rising to my feet. I tried to lull their suspicions by joking.

"Hey, who's the tracker here? I'll go…"

I couldn't take the risk of Jake or Nessie running into Katherine. She wouldn't want them to see her that way. And if there was a chance that Kathy was going to behave in a dangerous or volatile way, I didn't want to send them after her, for their sakes as much as hers. I wasn't that irresponsible, and I knew that Kathy would never forgive herself if she accidentally hurt either of them in a moment of unrestrained grief.

It wasn't difficult to persuade Jake to let me look instead. He had been glued to Nessie since the attack and clearly didn't want to leave her for a second. He smiled gratefully.

"Thanks, man."

But before I could go anywhere, I heard the sound of quick footsteps coming from the woods behind me. Kathy was approaching fast. My head shot round. The others heard her too. Nessie gave a sigh of relief.

"That's good timing…"

My muscles tensed in anticipation for trouble. I had no idea of what state of mind Kathy was in. I tried to act calm, but inside I was preparing to spring into action. A few seconds later she appeared through the trees and Nessie greeted her with a smile.

"Hey Katherine, we were wondering where you'd got to."

I held my breath and waited for Kathy's reaction. My eyes were fixed on her face as she walked towards us, but she didn't look at me at all. She just gave Nessie an apologetic smile.

"I'm sorry, I hope you weren't worried. I just wanted to take a walk around the lake, it was so pretty."

I instantly relaxed. Kathy was completely in control of herself. Nessie continued cheerfully, wholly unaware that there had ever been a problem.

"It's ok. Leo told us you wanted to take a walk. But I was scared you might miss the bus."

Katherine gave a gentle laugh. "There was no chance of that. I'd rather go back to Anchorage on a comfortable bus than run the whole way there."

She took a seat at the picnic bench opposite Nessie and Jake. She threw me a quick glance and her expression was serene. I remained on my feet, keeping my distance from her.

When Nessie asked Kathy about her walk, she answered with a smooth confidence. She seemed completely at ease. I had always known that Kathy was good at hiding her feelings, but at that point I realised what a superb actress she really was. She gave absolutely nothing away. If I hadn't actually witnessed her misery, I would have believed that she'd had a pleasant time exploring the lake.

It was unnerving to know how completely she would have fooled me. As the girls continued to talk, my mind wandered to the months that I had spent travelling with Kathy. I began to wonder how many times she had hidden her suffering from me. I went over dozens of events in my head and my memories were not reassuring.

When she awoke as a vampire, Kathy had shown great self-control when it came to resisting human blood, but her powers of restraint had not extended to hiding her emotions. Like any newborn, her feelings were always very close to the surface, and it hadn't taken much for her to lose her temper. Kathy's hatred of me, and her horror of what she had become, had been clear and undisguised. She had shown me deep resentment and hostility, and I was ashamed to admit that I'd treated her very badly. At that time Kathy was very unhappy and it had been extremely obvious.

But, after a while, we'd reached an understanding. Things had improved between us and she'd come to terms with her new situation. Or so I'd thought. Now I had to wonder if the only real change had been that Katherine had learned how to hide her unhappiness more skilfully. For years I had naïvely imagined that her time with me wasn't all bad, but now I was finally realising just how wrong I had been.

No wonder she had grabbed her chance to escape, and then stayed away for fifty five years. No wonder she'd been so horrified when I arrived in Alaska, and then been so desperate for me to leave. As far as Katherine was concerned we had never been close to being friends. There had been no good times for her.

It was mortifying to realise that when she'd told me what she thought of me, she'd actually been pulling her punches. This knowledge made it even more astounding that Kathy had been prepared to forgive me, and I was left feeling well and truly humbled.

Unsurprisingly, I didn't say much when we walked to the bus stop; I just followed the others and tried not to say anything unusually stupid. We didn't have long to wait, the bus was on time. It was empty when we climbed on board and we all headed towards the back. Jake and Red commandeered the back seat. I waited for Kathy to claim the pair of seats in front of them, and I sat in the ones on the other side of the aisle.

The bus picked up a couple more passengers at the stop by the park's front entrance. They were young guys. I watched as they boarded the bus. They glanced down the aisle and caught sight of us. They didn't have a clear view of Nessie, she was sitting close to the window and Jake was blocking their view of her, but they did notice Katherine. She wasn't looking in their direction, she was staring out of the window, but I saw their faces instantly light up.

For a second it looked as if they were going to come to the back of the bus. I may not have fed on humans anymore, but I knew that I was more than capable of breaking their necks if I had to spend the next few hours listening to them hitting on Kathy. I moved further into view and made eye contact with the guy in front. I didn't snarl, but it was a close thing.

As soon as he saw my expression he gave a start and took a step back, his eyes dropped to the floor in submission. He sat down in the nearest seat and dragged his confused friend with him.

"Why are we sitting here?" The friend sounded dissatisfied.

"Trust me," he murmured. "You do not want to go anywhere near the guy with the crew-cut."

I heard Jacob give a snort of laughter behind me, which I decided to ignore. I didn't give a damn as long as they kept their distance from Kathy. She was feeling fragile and didn't need to listen to their crap any more than I did. It was only lucky for them that their instincts had warned them to stay back.

Katherine didn't seem to notice my exchange with the newcomers. She hadn't said a word since sitting down. Although she had managed to maintain a relaxed conversation with Nessie and Jake while we were at the campground, I guessed that she was glad not to have to speak anymore.

I threw her a surreptitious glance. She was still gazing out of the window, lost in thought. The sun had just set and the landscape was darkening outside. Her expression was pensive as she watched the scenery flash past. I quickly looked away. Kathy had held it together in front of the others and deserved a chance to sit in peace without me watching her like a hawk.

The hours passed slowly. Nessie and Jacob were exhausted and they both fell asleep, and I could hear that the two guys at the front of the bus talking quietly. Kathy and I sat in silence and made no effort to communicate with each other. I just listened to her regular breathing and tried not to dwell on the fact that I was about to lose her for good.

It was just past midnight when we finally reached Anchorage. We all climbed off the bus and made our way into the Airport. There was a late night convenience store nearby, and Jake went to buy a whole pile of snacks for Nessie and himself. This turned out to be a really good idea, because it was quiet when we all finally entered the airport and the shops were closed. There didn't seem to be many night flights at Anchorage.

One ticket office was still open and we went to make enquiries about the next available flights home. The blonde woman at the ticket desk opened her eyes wide when stopped in front of her. We all looked pretty rough, wearing torn, dirty clothes – a run-in with the Volturi would do that to you – but at none of us were visibly bloody. We had already disposed of Nessie's blood-stained clothes in Denali, in case we were searched before the flight.

The ticket lady's eyes swept over us and I heard her heart racing when her gaze finally rested on me. I was worried that she was scared. The last thing that we needed was for her to tip off the airport guards to stop and search us. I sighed as I glanced down at her. She gulped and suddenly burst out.

"Are you guys models?"

Hmmm, it seemed that I had completely misread her reaction. Apparently, the ticket lady wasn't afraid of us.

I wasn't in the mood to humour her, so I answered grimly. "No."

My blighting tone must have had an effect, because she blinked and flushed. "Oh…" she stammered and glanced at the others. "I'm so sorry… I don't know what I'm saying…"

After that she very purposefully switched into super-efficient work mode and tried really hard not to stare too openly. Kathy took pity on her and made all the enquiries for us, speaking slowly and calmly to the unfortunate woman.

It turned out that the next flight to Seattle was at ten am. Unfortunately all my hopes, that I would be with Kathy until she caught the plane, were dashed when the ticket lady turned to me with an eager smile.

"It seems you're in luck, sir. There's a flight leaving for San Francisco at seven am. And it's the only flight going there for the next two days."

I could tell by her expression that she expected gratitude for delivering this crappy piece of news. So I forced myself to thank her, however grudgingly, and booked a window seat. I then reminded myself that it was for the best to leave as quickly as possible, rather than prolonging the agony. At least it would give me less chance of having an accidental argument with Kathy and parting on a bitter note.

Once we'd bought our tickets, we all ambled into the departure lounge. We found a quiet corner and Red and Jake began to work their way through the snacks, while Kathy and I sat quietly watching them. Nessie seemed a little subdued by the time she finished her third candy bar. She looked at the floor and said cryptically.

"Well, I guess that's it…"

Jake was sitting right next to her with his arm resting on the back of her chair. He threw her a puzzled glance. "What are you talking about, sweetheart?"

She glanced at him with a slightly shamefaced expression. "I guess I've failed my exams."

He sat bold upright. "What do you mean?"

"My exams were due to start yesterday, and I'm going to miss them today too, we won't be home until the afternoon. I've got a few more on Monday and Tuesday, but I can't see how I'll pass anything now. Not after I've missed half of them."

"Honey…" Jake looked really upset as he put his arm around her shoulders. "Why didn't you say something?"

She shrugged and bit her lip. "What difference would it have made? We left as quickly as we could. I didn't see the point of going on about it."

"Yeah, but…"

"It doesn't matter, Jake." She slipped her fingers through his and met his concerned gaze with an earnest look.

"Dammit!" He pulled away from her hold and stood up abruptly, spinning around to tower over her.

She lifted her wide eyes to his. "Jake, what's wrong?"

"I don't believe this. Are there any _more_ ways you could pay for what's happened? Because it seems to me that this is just one more to add to the list."

He looked really pissed off and I had to admit that he had a point. Red had been paying and paying. She just frowned and stood up to face him. She reached out and took one of his hands in hers.

"It's ok. I'm just glad that we're all still alive. That's the only thing that matters."

He sounded dissatisfied. "But what about your college?"

"What about it?" Her expression became serious and she suddenly looked more adult. "I don't know what they'll do. I guess they have a procedure for people who miss their exams. It must happen now and again, and these aren't even the really important ones. I might have to retake, but that's not the end of the world." She took a deep breath and added. "Anyway, I've already got more than one degree. I'm qualified enough. I'm only doing this for the experience, so it wouldn't be the end of the world if they kicked me out… which they won't."

He sighed and slipped his arm around her waist, pulling her close. "I just don't want you to miss out."

She wrapped her arms tightly around him and rested her cheek against his chest. "Dying would have been missing out, Jake. This doesn't even compare."

During this discussion Kathy said nothing. She seemed distracted, as if she was only half listening to them, which was unlike her. She was usually very engaged, especially when it came to the people that she cared about.

She remained quiet as we all settled in for a long night, waiting for our flights in the quiet airport lounge. Nessie curled up with her auburn head resting on Jacob's lap, and they both dozed off, leaving Kathy and I sitting in an awkward silence.

After an hour I turned to her. "Don't you want to sleep too?"

She shook her head. "I think that falling into a state of trance in the departure lounge of Anchorage Airport is beyond me."

"Don't bank on it; you don't know how bored you'll be after a few more hours of this."

Kathy raised her dark brows and replied cryptically. "That would be more likely to produce a coma, not a trance."

"Good point."

She seemed reluctant to say more and we both slipped back into silence. I passed the time by imagining what I was going to do, to get over leaving her. I came up with a pretty good plan. If I followed it through, I'd probably be able to keep myself busy for months. Admittedly, that still left the rest of the eternity to worry about, but it was a start.

I just needed to keep myself occupied so I didn't think about her all the time. I had contacts and friends all over the country. I went through my list and realised that I still had a few debts to pay off. This seemed like the perfect time to settle them. I would fly to San Francisco and give myself a couple of weeks at home, after which I planned to visit Louisiana and clear the first of them.

Paul was probably still pissed at me, but Sylvie would talk him round. She usually gave me the benefit of the doubt. And once he realised that I had come to make peace, he'd get over his grudge and give me something to do. If I knew Paul, he would ask me to pay for my fling with Claudette by tracking an enemy who'd crossed Cajun territory. Hooking up with her hadn't been my brightest idea, but she was hot and I was bored. She hadn't been worth the trouble.

Paul had been angry at the time, but he was smart. I was well connected and strong, and he wouldn't let a rift over his sister override his practicality. It would make sense for him to keep me on his side, and it was partly his fault that it had happened in the first place. I was tougher than any of Paul's enforcers and he damn well knew it, so he'd dangled Claudette under my nose, hoping to bind me to his coven.

I knew that if he made peace with me now, Paul's demands would be sure to go far beyond what I owed, and if I accepted his terms I'd probably be occupied for weeks on some ridiculously complex trail. It would be _perfect_, and would stop me from going crazy missing Kathy.

I glanced at her as she gazed into nothingness, and wished that I could l do something to make her future a little more secure. The only useful thing I could offer was protection, but that was something that she would never accept from me. It would have made parting much easier if I could have been sure that she would come to me if she was ever in trouble. But I knew that it was never going to happen, and I just had to live with the fact that once Kathy was out of my sight, there was very little that I could do for her.

I gritted my teeth, this passive acceptance of the future went against the very core of my being, and it was only my intense desire to do the right thing that even made it possible. For once in my life I was going to be unselfish, even if it killed me. And from the gripping sensation in my chest, I almost wondered if it would.

I had walked away from her twice before, but on both occasions I had left her in the aftermath of a bitter quarrel. This time there would be no heat to drive my actions, just cool reason. I preferred heat.

Kathy and I didn't really speak for the next few hours. While Nessie and Jake slept through the night, we sat quietly staring out of the lounge windows into the night. Katherine remained very subdued and I assumed that she was still dealing with all the painful memories that I had dredged up by Wonder Lake. I felt guilty, but left her in peace. The last thing she needed was to be forced into making small talk with me, just to appease my conscience.

It was still dark outside when they finally called my flight. I felt guilty for waking Nessie and Jake, because they were so obviously exhausted, but I wanted to say goodbye properly. They were both a little groggy, but didn't seem to resent being woken. Everyone walked me towards the departure gate. When we got close, Nessie stepped forward and hugged me tightly.

"Bye." She lifted her soft brown eyes to my face and I was amazed to see that they were swimming with tears. "I'll really miss you, Leo."

Her obvious sincerity was surprisingly touching and I squeezed her back. "I'll miss you too, kid. But next time you visit San Francisco you come by and see me, ok?"

Nessie blinked away her tears and nodded. "Sure, that would be really nice." She added with a smile. "Jake still owes me a trip to Mavericks, so we can make a detour."

"You're on."

She pulled away and Jake stepped forward to shake my hand. "Take care, Leo. Thanks for everything."

"No problem." I smiled and reached into my pocket. I pulled out a ten dollar bill and handed it to him. "Don't forget this."

"Thanks…?" He threw me a bemused smile. "What's it for?"

"You won our bet, remember?"

He understood and gave a sudden laugh. "You said it was a bear."

Nessie threw him a bewildered look. "What bet was that?"

"It was nothing. We were just passing the time." Jake evaded.

He probably didn't want to hurt her feelings by telling her that we couldn't agree on what animal her wood carving was supposed to be. Before Nessie could pursue the matter, Jake changed the subject.

"Leo, what do you want me to do with the bag you left in Forks?"

He was referring to the bag of explosives buried near his garage. I hadn't given it a second thought since leaving the peninsula.

I shrugged. "You can have it."

He looked surprised. "Don't you want to come and pick it up some time?"

I shook my head slowly. "I doubt I'll be in Washington for a while. You may as well keep it. You never know when that stuff will come in useful. And I've got plenty more at home."

I didn't want to say that I would stay away from Washington for as long as Kathy was there. It might sound rude.

"Sure, I guess so." Jake gave a rueful smile.

Red was curious again. "What's in the bag?" She asked innocently.

Jake caught her eye. "I'll tell you later."

Nessie looked a little dissatisfied, but let it go. I glanced towards Kathy and noticed her cynical expression. It was obvious that she had a pretty good idea of what was in my bag. She knew me too well. If it hadn't been for the fact that I was feeling so low about leaving her, this knowledge would have made me smile.

At that moment I heard the second call for my flight. It was finally time to say goodbye to Katherine and I still didn't have a clue of how I was going to do it. I turned to her, feeling awkward and unsure of what to say. She looked pale and tense. I probably didn't look much better. Kathy stood quietly for a moment, until she took a deep breath and stepped forward.

"Goodbye, Leo."

I suddenly realised that she was going to shake my hand, or hug me, just as the others had done. And for a moment I actually hoped she would, I really wanted to touch her one last time. But then I looked into her eyes and understood what was really going on. Kathy looked so unhappy that I couldn't escape the truth. She really didn't want to come anywhere near me, but she clearly felt obliged to give me a fond farewell, because everyone else expected her to.

And I felt like a complete slimeball for taking advantage of her when she was under social pressure to make nice with me. I came to my senses just in time. I didn't care what the others expected; I wasn't going to force her to do anything that she didn't want to. I jammed my hands into my pockets and took a step back, putting some distance between us.

As I made this move, I saw confusion flash across Katherine's face and she faltered. I tried to clarify that I was letting her off the hook by saying with a note of finality.

"Goodbye, Kathy."

There were a million more things I wanted to add. I wanted to tell her how much she meant to me, and how much I hoped that she would be safe and happy. A part of me even wanted to beg her to come with me so we could stay together.

But I didn't want to undo all my good work by making an emotional scene and embarrassing everyone, including myself. I wanted to leave Kathy with the knowledge that, whatever else she thought of me, I was occasionally capable of behaving like a civilised person. With this idea in mind, I managed to cling to my self-control for just long enough to add.

"Take care."

Katherine's eyes never left my face. I found that staring into them was doing nothing for my shaky resolve, so before there was a chance for my control to slip, I turned away from her.

"I guess I should get going." I spoke lightly and glanced at the others, forcing myself to smile. "See you later, guys. Try and stay out of trouble."

"We'll do our best," was Jacob's slightly sardonic reply.

Nessie just squeezed my hand. "Bye, Leo. Keep in touch."

"Sure thing, Red. I'll call you."

I released her hand and turned to leave. When I reached the barrier, I couldn't resist glancing back. This was a big mistake. Jake was standing with his arm around Nessie's shoulders, they were both watching me, and Kathy was beside them.

Her thick hair was swept over one shoulder and her arms were defensively folded over her chest. She looked miserable. She met my gaze with a guarded expression, but for a split-second her eyes locked with mine. As I stared into those clear golden irises I was shocked to find myself hesitating. I was stunned by the strength of my desire to stay. I loved her.

I froze for an instant, knowing that I had to do something, anything, to keep myself moving. The only thing I could think of was to remind myself of exactly why Kathy didn't want me. She'd called me a murderer, so I forced the images of people that I'd killed into my mind, starting with the very first.

Dominica had fed me a young woman when I awakened as a newborn, closely followed by another. I had been half-crazy with bloodlust and had practically torn them apart in my desperation to feed. Even Dominica had complained about the mess, although she'd approved of my overwhelming desire to kill. The memory of that bloodbath was enough to release me from my frozen state. I turned my back on Kathy and kept on walking.

I let the memories flow as I passed through the gate. They kept my feet moving. As the years had passed, I'd claimed more and more victims. Male, female, it didn't matter; they all met with the same grisly fate. I went through all of them in chronological order. There were a lot to get through, more that I'd realised. Most of them I hadn't thought of in years, not since I'd dumped the bodies. This was hardly surprising, I preferred to look forward, rather than back.

Only Kathy was the exception to that rule. I couldn't seem to get away from what I'd done to her, no matter how many years passed. But from now on I was going to do everything I could to put the whole thing behind me. I had apologised to Kathy, she had forgiven me, and there was nothing more to do.

As I boarded the plane, the grim catalogue of victims continued to play through my mind. A smiling stewardess showed me to my window seat. The sun hadn't yet risen and it was still dark outside. I closed the blind to protect myself from any sunlight on the flight and ignored the stewardess's attempts to engage me in friendly conversation.

I sat back in my seat and leaned my head against the headrest. In my mind's eye I could see the face of each victim as I worked my way through the list. I finally came to the last human that I'd bitten. I saw her soft golden skin and beautiful sun-kissed hair, and remembered the changing shades of her eyes as they gazed into mine.

My heart ached and before I could stop myself I had reached into my pocket for my wallet, turning to the most comforting thing that I could. The wallet was halfway open before I, Mr Perfect Recall, remembered that Kathy's picture was gone. I stared at the empty plastic sleeve for a long moment, feeling completely lost. That was it. Katherine was well and truly out of my life. I closed the wallet and sat very still as I tried to come to terms with this crushing fact.

Even my last memento was gone. It hurt me to lose it, but I tried to convince myself that it was for the best. It belonged to Kathy and it meant a lot to her. And perhaps possessing her picture was one of the things that had made it so hard for me to let go. It was an unnecessary tie and it needed to be cut.

I closed my eyes and tried to clear my head. I distracted myself by listened to the sounds of the flight, the passengers finding their seats, the safety announcements, the engines firing up. I felt a strange mixture of relief and loss when we finally took off. It was too late to change my mind. In spite of my internal struggles, I had managed to keep control. I had kept my vow and done the right thing.

My selfish side wasn't happy about it. But the tiny spark of humanity still left in me was satisfied by my actions. I knew that Kathy would be ok. She had some good friends and she had a real chance to be happy, and I really, really wanted her to be. I wanted it more than anything else. It had taken half a century, and a fight to the death with the Volturi, to finally make me understand that this could never happen with me around. Despite my best intentions, I always made Katherine miserable.

But I was grateful to have seen her again. I'd been given a chance to apologise and had gained forgiveness. And at least I wouldn't have to spend a lifetime wondering what could have been, a thought which would have tormented me if I had never crossed her path again. I realised that these things would make it easier to let go.

The last few weeks had been some of the most important of my life, but the simple truth was that I was not a mated vampire, I was a single tracker and it was time for me to stop yearning for something that would always be out of reach. This ended now. I had to return to the life I was destined to live. And I had to do so without the girl I was destined to love.

The cold chill, which had slowly been creeping through my veins, settled on my heart. I took a deep breath and stared straight into the future.

It was time to go home.

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**A very big thank you to last week's reviewers, including the anonymous guest reviewers and McIlwain (glad I got at least one name, ha ha!) thank you for so many reviews, I really enjoyed reading them :) And of course to everyone who added this story to their lists.**

**Apart from that, the next chapter will be posted in two weeks, so I hope that everyone has a really Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Look forward to seeing you in 2013!**

**Thanks for reading, Mad :)**


	56. Nessie, the departure lounge

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

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><p><strong>Thank you to my lovely beta, willowbae, for all her help :)<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 56.<strong>

**Nessie – the departure lounge**

I leaned back in my uncomfortable airport seat and stretched out my legs. Jake had disappeared to find some breakfast and make a couple of calls home. He'd wanted to wait until his family were actually awake before calling to check that everything was still ok at La Push. Our flight wouldn't be boarding for a while, so it seemed like a good moment for him to do so.

Katherine sat beside me. She had been very quiet since leaving Denali. She looked unusually weary and I wondered if our recent experiences had finally caught up with her. I shuddered and tried to block out the terrifying images. I suddenly felt nervous that I couldn't see Jake and wished that he would reappear.

Glancing around the lounge, I took a calming breath. Nothing bad was going to happen. I was safe. I wasn't even alone, I was sitting next to a strong vampire and I knew from experience that she would shield me from danger. My fear was instantly replaced by shame and guilt. It wasn't Katherine's job to sacrifice her life to protect mine. Since when had I become so selfish?

I shifted in my seat and tried to think of something less disturbing. Leo's departure drifted into my mind. I'd felt very sad to see him go. A real camaraderie had developed in our small band and it was depressing that we were now splitting up. On a more personal level, I was to sorry say goodbye. Leo had helped pull me out of my trauma and reconcile me with what I had done to Jacob. I felt very grateful for his timely intervention.

I mulled over his brief goodbye and smiled when I remembered the guys' ten dollar bet. I wondered if they had been trying to identify animal scents. I was surprised that Leo had lost. Jake had a fantastic sense of smell, but I was under the impression that trackers were particularly good at picking up scents, even by vampire and wolf standards. I had a feeling that I was never going to hear the full story from either of them.

I hoped that Jake and I would get a chance to visit Leo in San Francisco. I wanted to go there and I thought it would be really nice to meet up. I was pleased that he had invited us. An idle thought crossed my mind and I turned to Katherine.

"Do you think you'll visit Leo in San Francisco?"

This roused her from her reverie. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat and avoided my eye. "I don't think that would be a very good idea." Her tone implied that she was slightly embarrassed by my question.

I threw her a baffled glance. "Are you still angry with him?"

I was surprised. I knew that vampires had long memories and a tendency to hold grievances, but I had thought that after everything we'd been through, Katherine would have let go of her resentment towards Leo. After all, he _had_ saved her life and I'd seen him treat her with nothing but respect since returning to us.

Katherine shook her head and a note of cynicism crept into her voice. "No, I'm not angry with Leo. I just doubt that I'd be very welcome."

I lifted an eyebrow. This was the last thing that I'd expected her to say. "What makes you think that? Did he say something to you?"

She surprised me further, by resting her elbows on her knees and burying her head in her hands. "Have you ever said something that you _really_ wish you hadn't?"

This was obviously a rhetorical question, so I answered cautiously. "What do you mean?"

Katherine spoke in a low, pained voice. "I know how guilty you feel about feeding from Jacob. Imagine if you'd accidentally killed him. How would that have made you feel?"

I was shocked and confused by this unexpected question. Just thinking about what I had done to Jake was enough to make me feel sick. What if I had actually killed him? I would never have got over it. The guilt would have killed me, even if living without him hadn't done the job.

"I can't imagine," I whispered in horror. "I can't imagine how terrible it would have been. I don't even want to think about it."

She continued quietly. "And how would you have felt if someone had told you that they were _glad _that you'd killed him?"

Her words made me flinch and I shot back defensively. "You know how I'd feel. Why would you even _ask_ me that?"

Katherine lifted her head and stared me straight in the eye. Her expression was tortured. "Because that's what I said to Leo."

"What do you mean?"

"When we had that fight in Denali, before I forced Leo to leave, I said some unforgivable things to him. I was angry and wanted to hurt him. I knew that he'd killed his human girlfriend, so I said the worst thing that I possibly could."

My heart sank, I hadn't realised that they had parted quite so bitterly. "What did you say?"

"I said, 'you _deserve_ what happened to you – you murderer! _I'm glad that it did…!_'" Katherine's voice was laced with remorse and she turned away, hiding her face in shame. "I didn't just say it, Nessie. I yelled it in his face."

I was absolutely stunned. I couldn't believe that my kind-hearted friend had said such a terrible thing. I knew that she sometimes felt angry with Leo, but I wouldn't have believed that she was capable of deliberate cruelty towards him. Then my logic kicked in. He _must_ have provoked her. Leo had to have goaded Katherine to say something so awful. There was no other explanation.

"You wouldn't have said it for no reason. You said you were angry." I suggested tentatively. "What did he do to upset you?"

This question was met with an ominous silence and I began to feel increasingly worried. Had Leo stepped over the line? Had he threatened her in some way? I wondered if she had lied to Jake and me with her account of what happened. Maybe Jake's suspicions hadn't been so farfetched after all.

"Katherine, what did Leo do to you? Did he hurt you?"

She refused to look at me and fixed her eyes on her knotted fingers. "When you went for that walk with Jacob, I was really anxious. I knew that you were going to tell him the truth about your family. Leo noticed that I was stressed and he told me not to worry.

"He said that your confession wouldn't come as a surprise, because Jake already knew what your uncle Jasper had done. I was shocked and asked him how Jacob had found out. Leo admitted that he had told him. He said that he hadn't known it was a secret. He said that he'd let it slip by accident."

I nodded slowly. "That's what Jake told me too. I believed him." Katherine remained silent, so I prompted her. "So what happened next? What does that have to do with your fight?"

"I was angry with Leo for telling Jake. I accused him of destroying other people's lives."

"I don't know about his past." I frowned in confusion. "But… but what he told Jake, it was a mistake. Leo didn't mean any harm, I'm sure he didn't. Even Jake wasn't angry with him."

"I know that," she exclaimed. "Leo never means to do these things… but somehow he still does them. I'm aware that he screws up unthinkingly, but that doesn't stop me from feeling angry with him."

There had to be more to this story, Katherine couldn't have lost her temper to that degree over Leo's blunder.

"What else did he do?"

She shook her head in anguish. "He didn't do _anything_. That was all. I don't know what happened, Nessie. It was like a dam broke and years of disappointment and resentment came flooding out. One minute I was calm and then, out of nowhere, I was throwing every accusation I could l think of at him. I completely lost it. That's when I said that I was glad that he murdered his girlfriend and that he deserved it."

This revelation left me stumbling for words. "So… so… what did he say? Was he very angry?"

I wouldn't have dared say such a thing to Leo, not if I wanted to keep my head. Katherine must have either been very brave or utterly insane.

"To be honest, he just looked kind of confused…" She sounded mortified. "I don't think he expected me to know about what he'd done, either that, or he couldn't believe that I'd been such a bitch. I can hardly believe it myself."

"Is that why he left us? Did he walk out?"

"No… I told the truth at the time. I made him go. He didn't want to, he actually wanted to work things out, but I told him to leave. It almost made things worse that he wasn't furious with me, that he tried to make peace. But I was so angry and ashamed that I couldn't handle being around him at all. I couldn't face what I'd said, so I forced him to go."

"How did you manage that?" Leo was a wilful guy. I wondered what leverage Katherine used against him.

"I threatened to leave if he wouldn't. So he did the decent thing and left us, and I stayed behind and got to be the good guy... and put us all in greater danger from the Volturi." She shook her head regretfully. "I guess now you know the truth."

I was very taken aback by Katherine's revelation. It was tempting to pass judgement, but I didn't really feel that was fair. I knew that she had an unhappy history with her creator. She said that he had been cruel to her in the past, and it was hardly surprising that things had gone so wrong when they were reunited. I couldn't find it in my heart to think badly of her.

"I don't think that anyone would really blame you for losing your temper Katherine. Leo wasn't always nice to you, was he?"

"No." Her voice held an edge. "No one would blame _me_, would they? Leo's a cruel bastard and I'm a goddamn saint. Isn't that right?"

I could tell that she was really upset, so I replied gently. "I honestly don't know…"

"_I_ do." Katherine looked up sharply. "I know myself. I've done some things that weren't pretty by any standards, how do you think I got my scars? And I know Leo. He has his faults. I know that better than anyone, after all, I was his victim and I've seen plenty of his dark side. But I can see that there is still something worthwhile in Leo, and I'd do anything to take back what I said to him.

"I'm not glad that he killed that girl. I'm not glad at all. I'm just really, really sorry. He was only twenty four when he was turned. And he had no more choice than I did. When he was bitten he lost all chance to have a happy human future and a family. He didn't deserve that. He lost out, just like me.

"I know a lot about his past. When we travelled together he told me all about it. He remembers more of his human years than most vampires. His creator, Ramon, wanted him because he was a gunner's mate in the navy and knew a lot about munitions. He forced Leo to remember his human life, because he wanted him to retain all his technical knowledge. He made him go over and over his memories, so that they really stuck. It was Leo who taught me how to hold onto my past.

"He used to tell me funny stories about his human life and his family. He was just a young guy when he was turned, a little reckless and selfish maybe, but he wasn't a monster, Nessie. He wasn't a murderer. He had three silly sisters and a mother who spoiled him, and a tough dad. And he loved them, I know he did.

"But when he was turned, he lost them, he lost his life. He lost everything. He was transformed into a killer. Ramon did that to him. I can't even imagine what his time as a newborn must have been like. Those army covens are so brutal, not just to humans, but to their own kind. They are all about power plays and violence. Do you realise how many vampires Leo must have fought and killed to gain the kind of respect that he has?

"But even that hasn't turned him into a completely heartless person. Somehow, Leo has retained his best human qualities. I honestly don't know how they survived. It's almost miraculous. He's still capable of caring about people, like his brother and you. He even cares about that bitch friend of his, Dominica. He's loyal too. He came back for us when he realised that we were being hunted. And there was still enough humanity left in Leo that he fell in love with a human girl."

She shook her head miserably. "But they never stood a chance. It was inevitable that their relationship would end the way it did… and now he has to live with what he's done. And I can't even begin to explain how sorry that makes me. He's a vampire and I know that if he lives for a thousand years he'll never really get over it, he'll never stop loving her.

"And I can't believe that in spite of everything I know about his life and what it's like trying to live under this curse, I told him that he _deserved_ what happened, that I was glad about it. What kind of person does that make me? I'll never forgive myself for what I said to him."

Katherine looked so wretchedly guilty that I tried to comfort her. "However much you might regret what you said, Leo didn't seem angry when he came back. Maybe he doesn't hold it against you." I added optimistically. "He might not have even taken it that way."

Her expression was bleak. "Trust me, he took it _exactly _that way. He may not have made a thing of it when he returned, I mean there were more pressing things to worry about, but he didn't forget about it for a second."

"How do you know? Did you talk to him, or try and apologise, when he came back?"

"No… God, I wish I had." She glanced up and met my eyes pleadingly. "I really wanted to, I should have. I kept on trying to find the right moment. I had a couple of chances, the best was at Wonder Lake... but I blew it."

"What happened?"

She gave a sigh. "We took a stroll along the shore, and out of the blue, Leo told me that he was sorry for all the bad things he'd done to me… he even apologised for turning me."

My jaw dropped open in surprise. I remembered that Katherine and Leo had gone for a walk. I'd had no idea that they were talking about anything more important than the scenery.

"That doesn't sound like someone who was angry. He wouldn't have said those things if he had been. Why would he have apologised if he was still upset with you?"

"It's complicated." Katherine frowned reflectively. "I think Leo was looking for a clean break from the past. He wanted to make things right, before moving on. I don't think he was exactly angry about what I'd said. I just don't think he wanted to be around me anymore. My words shattered any real chance of friendship between us. It was pretty obvious. I mean, after he came back to us, Leo didn't come within ten feet of me if he could possibly help it…" She gave a twisted smile. "He wouldn't even shake my hand when he said goodbye."

I had to admit, it didn't look good. It was hardly surprising that he had reacted that way, but it seemed very unfortunate that something Katherine had said in the heat of the moment had been taken so much to heart. I glanced at her.

"So what happened when he apologised? Did you try to say sorry too?"

"No. I should have, but I completely lost my nerve. I didn't have a clue what to say. How do you tell someone that you don't _really _feel glad that they accidentally killed their girlfriend? So in the end, I was a coward and kept my mouth shut until the moment had passed. I missed my chance to apologise and I'm so ashamed."

I hardly knew how to respond. There seemed to be no answer to the problem. At least it didn't seem as if Katherine expected me to come up with a solution. It was obvious that she viewed the whole thing as a lost cause. It was Katherine who broke the silence.

"At least one good thing came of it…"

"What's that?"

"After all these years, I finally discovered why he turned me."

By the grim tone of her voice, I knew that this wasn't going to be good, but my morbid curiosity got the better of me.

"So… why did he do it?"

"Apparently, it was an _accident_. He was really hunting me and somehow ended up turning me by mistake." She couldn't quite keep the bitterness out of her voice. I was bereft of speech and she threw me a humourless smile. "I know… what a stupid reason."

"How was that even possible?" I gaped.

"I don't know…" She shrugged. "But he looked sincere when he said it. I'm sure he was telling the truth. It's not very flattering, but it certainly explains a hell of a lot."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, most vampires don't just go around randomly turning people. They choose their victims carefully. I guess because creating a vampire takes so much control, and there's also the responsibility of guiding a newborn once the change has taken place. It's not the kind of thing that many vampires take lightly, especially since they'll be blamed if the newborn goes on the rampage.

"So there usually has to be a pretty good reason to turn someone. Sometimes it's because the human shows certain traits that promise talent, or they will be a useful addition to a coven. Or maybe, like with your parents, there is an attraction between the human and the vampire. But, whatever the reason, the vampire generally chooses a human because they want to keep them.

"And whether they love or loath them, a vampire's relationship with their creator is an important one, and no matter what happens between them, they still know that they were once carefully selected. That didn't happen with me. Leo turned me by accident." She took a deep breath. "There was never a time when he wanted me. I wish he'd told me that fifty five years ago; then I wouldn't have been so surprised when he walked away."

However calm she appeared, I knew that Leo's indifference all those years ago had hurt her deeply, and I said the only thing I could think of.

"I'm sorry."

"Thanks." She glanced up. "I'm sorry to dump all this on you, Nessie. I probably shouldn't have said anything."

I gave her a sympathetic smile. "Hey, it's ok. I guess we all need to talk about things sometimes… and I've dumped enough of my problems onto you in the past few weeks. It's about time that you returned the favour."

She returned my smile with a small one of her own. "Oh well, when you put it like that…"

"So, what are you going to do?"

Her smile died and she answered in a low voice. "I'm going to do the only thing I can. I'm going to let Leo go and try to forget that we ever met."

I said nothing. I realised that she was probably right; there was really nothing else to do but put this behind her. I couldn't see Leo ever wanting to be friends after what she'd said. It was unfortunate, but the damage had already been done. He'd never forget her angry words. It was an inescapable fact that vampires made grudge-bearing into an art form.

Katherine gave me an earnest look. "Feel free to tell me to go to hell, but I was wondering if maybe you wouldn't tell Jake about this…" She bit her lip and added. "I know I don't have a right to ask, but I guess I don't really want anyone else knowing how mean I was."

I reached out and squeezed her arm. "I promise I won't say anything to anyone, including Jacob. But for what it's worth, I don't think badly of you. It was a very stressful time, and we all make mistakes and say things we don't really mean. And I'm sure that Jake would agree with me."

"Thanks, Nessie." She sounded genuinely grateful. "You're too forgiving, but I appreciate it. And you don't have to worry… I won't ever mention any of this again."

If any other of my friends had made this claim I would have doubted their ability to stick to their intentions. But I knew that Katherine had more than enough self-control to hold firm to this resolution. I still meant it when I replied.

"I wouldn't mind if you wanted to talk about it again sometime."

"Thanks, that's really nice of you." She gave a small smile. "But I can't really see what good it would do."

"I understand."

"You're a good friend, Nessie."

"So are you."

Katherine's gaze shifted. Something behind me had caught her eye. "I see Jake." She smiled. "That's good. It looks like he's brought you some breakfast."

With these words she effectively closed the subject. I hid my concern for her and glanced over my shoulder. Jake was approaching across the airport lounge and he was laden with food.

"Thank goodness, I'm starving."

I spent the next half hour being pampered by Jake. Since the attack, he had treated me like a delicate flower that needed constant nurturing. He sat beside me, handing me French fries. It was a miracle that he allowed me to put them in my mouth by myself. And when they finally called our flight I was half-expecting him to carry me onto the airplane.

I could hardly believe how relieved I felt when we boarded the plane. I was desperate to leave Alaska behind and go home. I could tell that Jake was eager go home too. It was only Katherine who seemed subdued.

The flight was fairly uneventful, most of the time Jake and I talked quietly, while Katherine flicked through the flight magazines and watched the movie. Once we reached Seattle, we collected our bags and picked up Jacob's car from the airport's long stay car park. My car was also parked there, but I decided to collect it after the weekend. I planned to spend the weekend in Forks and I really wanted to drive home in Jake's car. I didn't feel quite ready to be separated from him.

Katherine had already decided to stay in Seattle, and so we dropped her off at a large, respectable hotel. She and I agreed to meet up after my exams on Monday. She hugged Jake and me goodbye, and promised to leave her contact details on my voicemail. It was hard to let her go, since she had been vital to my survival for several weeks, but somehow I forced myself to say goodbye.

Just before she headed inside, Katherine turned to me. "Well, we've had our share of excitement. I guess it's time for our lives to go back to normal…"

She was smiling, but under that smile, the expression in her golden eyes was grave, as if she knew that it was going to be easier said than done.

I gave a calm nod of acknowledgement. "I guess it is."

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Happy New Year!**

**Thank you to the reviews and list additions I received over Christmas. I had the flu and they cheered me up (I still can't believe that I got this chapter ready in time! ha ha) and an extra thanks to the guest reviewer, sorry I couldn't PM you.**

**Thanks for reading, have a great fortnight,**

**Mad :)**


	57. Nessie, understanding

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you to my trusty beta, willowbae, for all the help :)<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 57.<strong>

**Nessie – understanding**

My thoughts were gradually lulled as miles of road disappeared behind us. I was glad to have left my car in the airport car park, it was nice to sit quietly and let Jake do the driving, even if I felt a little guilty that he had to make the long drive home. Fortunately, he had managed to catch up on some sleep on the journey from Denali and didn't seem too tired.

I kept my eyes on the trees as we sped along the damp forest roads. Over the years, when I'd travelled with my family, I had experienced many homecomings, but none quite like this. The relief and gratitude in my heart was unlike anything I had felt before. A lump formed in my throat, as I stared out at the dense undergrowth.

Jake's voice interrupted my thoughts. "Honey, are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." I gave him a small smile. "I'm just really glad. I didn't think that we were ever going to make it home."

"I know." I could hear the emotion in his voice. A second later, he reached out and gently brushed my cheek with the back of his hand. "Hey, it's ok. The main thing is that we did."

It was only then that I realised I was actually crying. His hand rested briefly on my cheek, and I caught hold of it and kissed his knuckles, sending him a small message.

_Thank you._

Jake turned his attention back to the empty road, and I quickly brushed away my tears and said a silent prayer of thanks that we had made it through.

My gratitude wasn't only for Jake and me, but for also for Katherine and Leo. I would have been devastated if they hadn't survived the attack too. After such an intense shared experience, it was strange to think of the distance that now divided our small band. I already missed them. I knew that Leo would have landed in San Francisco by now, and Katherine was getting further away with every passing minute. I thought of her, all alone in Seattle, and sighed. I looked at Jake.

"Do you think Katherine will be ok? I feel bad leaving her by herself, after everything that's happened."

His expression became speculative and he took a moment to reply. "Yeah, she'll be alright." He reassured me. "Katherine's lasted this long. She couldn't have done it if she wasn't tough."

"I guess not." I frowned sceptically.

I couldn't help worrying. Katherine had seemed so subdued at the airport, and I knew that she felt bad about her argument with Leo. But Jake was probably right. She was strong. She'd be fine. I fell into silence, just watching the road, until Jake spoke again.

"Maybe Katherine inherited her tough streak from her maker." He speculated. "She's more like Leo than she knows. It's a shame that things didn't work out better between them. You know, for a while there, I really thought they would."

I glanced at him in surprise. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know…" Jake gave a vague shrug. "I just thought they had something in common, and they seemed to be getting on ok. But then they had that fight, and I guess it must have been a pretty bad one, because after Leo came back everything was different between them." He threw me a quick look. "You know what I mean?"

"I suppose so…" I answered evasively.

Yes, I knew _exactly_ what Jacob meant, and I knew the reason for it too. If I hadn't made a promise to Katherine, I would have been tempted to tell Jake just why Leo and Katherine couldn't be friends anymore. But it wasn't my secret to tell, so I kept my mouth shut and let the subject drop. I was thankful that Jake didn't want to delve any further. Unfortunately, the next topic of conversation didn't exactly relax me.

"Your family will be relieved to have you home. When I called Seth from the airport, he said that they were really worried about you."

Up until this point I hadn't really thought of how I was going to face my family. All my focus had been on getting home in one piece. But I was suddenly confronted with the fact that I was going to have a lot of explaining to do when I got there.

"Oh God…" I groaned and buried my head in my hands.

"Are you ok?"

I shook my head and tried to fight back the rising panic. "No." My hands muffled my voice.

"Hold on…" Jake sounded worried.

A moment later I felt the car slowing. I raised my head as he pulled over on the grassy verge. He switched off the engine and turned to me. His voice was tight with concern as he reached out and gently rested a hand on my back.

"Hey… what's wrong?"

He probably wasn't prepared for the way I launched myself across the car seat and into his arms, but he took it in his stride. He let me bury my head in his neck, while he rubbed my back soothingly.

"Hey, it's ok…" Jake sounded slightly baffled. "Do you want to tell me what's wrong?"

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my cheek against his collarbone. "I don't know what to say to them," I murmured into the smooth skin of his throat.

Jake remained silent and I peeked up at him. His dark brow was lowered and I saw the muscles in his jaw clench tight. His expression made me anxious.

"Jake?"

He glanced down at me and said in a grim voice. "You should let me worry about that."

There was an ominous edge to his remark and I pulled back nervously. "What… what do you mean?"

Jacob's eyes searched mine, and his features softened. He lifted a hand to my cheek. "Just that you should let me do the worrying for a change."

I wasn't convinced that that was what he'd really meant, but the idea of putting my worries onto his broad shoulders sounded surprisingly inviting, so I accepted his explanation and snuggled closer.

"Jake, can I stay at your house tonight? I don't want to go home."

His arms tightened around me. "Are you sure that's a good idea? You can't avoid your family forever."

"I'm not trying to." I reasoned. "I'm just so tired and dirty… and I don't feel prepared to face them right now. I need a shower and a good night's sleep before I walk into that minefield."

"Ok… I guess you've earned a break." He dropped a light kiss onto my hair. "Of course you can stay. You know you're always welcome."

I gave a sigh of relief and smiled. "Thanks."

I released my tight hold on Jacob's neck and slid back into my own seat. He leaned over and kissed my cheek, before starting the car.

"No problem."

As we pulled away, I had an uncomfortable thought. "Will Billy mind? Will he tell Grandpa that I'm over?"

"No, he won't. My dad is still at Rachel's house. She wants him to stay for the rest of the weekend." Jake gave a sudden smile. "It sounds like he's getting pretty comfortable at her place. So I guess her plan to tempt him to live there is actually working."

I smiled and allowed myself to relax. I had gained a reprieve, at least until the morning. I decided not to worry about anything before then. I turned my thoughts away from my family for the rest of the drive.

It was raining hard by the time we pulled into the reservation. It should have seemed wet and miserable, but to my eyes it had never looked better. I was so happy to be back, I almost started crying again. We parked outside Jake's house and grabbed our backpacks from the trunk, and hurried to the door to escape the downpour.

Jake quickly opened the front door and we stumbled inside. He slammed it behind us, to block out the driving rain. We dumped our backpacks beside the door as Jake switched on the light.

"Home, sweet home." He glanced around the cluttered living room and grinned. "I don't think I've ever felt so glad to see this place."

I noticed that it was unusually messy, with clothes strewn over the couch and pieces of camping equipment scattered across the floor.

I smiled. "I guess you left in a hurry."

"You could say that." He grinned and strolled towards the kitchen door. "I'll tidy up later. Do you want something to eat? When I told Seth that I was on my way home he offered to bring by some groceries, so I should be able to scrape together a sandwich."

"That was nice of him," I said, following Jake into the kitchen.

I smiled to myself. Seth was so thoughtful. I entered the room just as Jake opened the refrigerator. A wide smile broke across his face and he pulled out a couple of large pizzas.

"Did I ever tell you that I was in love with Seth?"

"No, but I've always had my suspicions," I replied, taking the pizzas, while Jake started to rifle through the cupboards in search of more food.

Seth had done a pretty thorough job of stocking the shelves. He seemed to have a deep understanding of what a hungry wolf would need after a trip away from home. I leaned against the kitchen counter, watching Jake.

"Did you tell Seth what happened in Alaska?" I tried to sound casual, but didn't quite succeed.

Jake looked up sharply. "No, I didn't. I didn't want to stress him out. I thought I'd wait until we got home before dumping that nightmare on him. But I'm pretty sure he guessed that we'd had some trouble."

This didn't surprise me. Seth knew Jake well enough to have picked up on any tension when they spoke. Jake handed me a soda and changed the subject.

"How about an early dinner?"

"Sure, I'm starving." We hadn't eaten since the flight.

Jake glanced at the pizzas. "Which do you want?"

"I don't mind, you choose." I smiled. "Do you think I've got time for a shower, while they're cooking?"

"Sure, go ahead. I won't put them in just yet, that'll give you more time. And I can clear up the living room."

"Thanks, I'll try not to take too long."

"I won't hold my breath." He said dryly.

I hurried away to take a shower. I meant to make it quick, but once I was standing under the jet of hot water I relaxed and forgot all about the time. I washed my hair and ruthlessly scrubbed away all remnants of our time in Alaska. By the time I left the bathroom I was the cleanest person in the Olympic Peninsula.

I usually kept a set of clean clothes and underwear at Jake's house, because I had learned the hard way that hunting with the pack somehow involved running through every muddy puddle in the forest. It didn't help that the wolves seemed to think it was hilarious to do the wet dog shake right beside me.

I wrapped myself in a towel and trotted into Jake's room. I quickly dried off and dug my clothes and underwear out of my official draw in his dresser. Once I was wearing a clean pair of jeans and pink tank top, I plugged in my hair dryer and set to work brushing and drying my wet hair in front of the mirror.

I was pleased to discover that, thanks to my natural healing ability, I wasn't looking quite as haggard as I felt. Once my hair was dry, I spent a couple of minutes examining the bite marks that Demetri had left on my shoulder. I had tough skin, which didn't tend to scar, but although they had healed over, the marks were still visibly raised. I had no doubt that I would carry them for the rest of my life.

I felt slightly depressed about the scars, until I remembered that Katherine had a scar running the whole way around her arm from where Felix had ripped it from its socket, not to mention all the older marks on her arms and shoulders. I suddenly felt very grateful to have escaped from an encounter with such hostile vampires with so little injury.

Jake's voice, calling me for dinner, interrupted my thoughts. I swept my hair to one side, to hide the scars on my shoulder, and headed into the kitchen. When I appeared, Jake handed me a plate of pizza and gave me an approving glance.

"You look much better."

"Thanks." I took the plate with a grateful smile and sat down. "A hot shower was just what I needed."

Both Jake and I were pretty tired and we didn't talk much during dinner. We just sat in a comfortable silence and worked our way through the food. Afterwards, I cleaned up and washed the dishes, while Jacob went to take a shower.

He took almost as long as I did. By the time he reappeared, I was lounging on the living room couch, listening to the heavy rain as it battered against the windows. The last of the daylight had faded and the room was only dimly lit. My mind was wandering when I heard Jacob ask.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

I glanced over my shoulder and smiled. "Feeling better?"

He was dressed in a pair of shorts, and looked relaxed and spotlessly clean. He rubbed his hand over his damp hair and plonked himself down beside me.

"Yeah, absolutely."

Jake rested his arm on the back of the couch behind my head. I shifted in my seat, until I was snuggling comfortably against his big body. He seemed content to sit in a restful silence, and my mind began to drift again. I didn't realise that my fingers were absently tracing the bite marks on my shoulder, until Jacob lifted his hand and ran his fingers over the scars. His voice broke into my thoughts.

"Are you thinking about these?" He asked gently.

I glanced up quickly and met his eyes. "I don't know… not exactly."

His hand stilled. "What do you mean?"

"I was thinking about some of the things the Volturi said, before the attack."

"What things?" He sounded uneasy.

I didn't particularly want to upset Jake. But, more importantly, I didn't want to lie to him, so I answered honestly.

"I was thinking about their claim, that they were killing hybrids, because they didn't want any of us breeding."

I felt Jacob tensing beside me. "And you believed them?"

"Didn't you?"

"I believed that they had killed some other hybrids, but I think they would have gone after you anyway, to get revenge on your family. The breeding thing was just a convenient excuse, in case they needed to justify their actions to other vampires."

"I guess so," I replied hesitantly. "But I was thinking just now, that I can't ignore what they said. I mean they had a good point."

"Excuse me?" His voice was low, but it held an ominous note.

I took a deep breath and glanced up. Jacob's jaw was set in a hard line. It was difficult for me to talk about something so personal, but then I reminded myself that this was Jacob I was speaking to, and the words came more easily than I was expecting.

"I always thought that one day we might have a family like other couples. But now I see that things are far more complicated for us, and more dangerous. It's ok for you wolves, your kids are human, and if the wolf gene is never triggered they can lead completely normal lives, with no one any the wiser.

"But, if I can actually have children, they will always be a quarter vampire, which is another matter entirely. I don't know if they would be immortal, or fast growing, but it would be safe to assume that they would be different from human children. And with every new generation the secret would become harder to conceal. For all I know, I could be breeding a race of superhumans. Who knows what that would mean, not just for us, but for everyone? The Volturi are right."

"Don't you dare say that, Nessie," Jake burst out, sounding surprisingly angry. "Those sons of bitches are _not_ right!"

"I'm sorry. I'm not trying to upset you." I gave a hopeless shrug. "I don't _want_ them to be right. But I have to face the fact that if I don't have kids, nothing can be passed on. It all ends here, with me. The dangers, the uncertainty, the darkness in my blood, everything..."

Jacob stared down at me in disbelief. "So what are you saying? That you won't have children, because the Volturi don't think you should, or because there's something wrong with you."

I shook my head and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"I don't really know what I think right now, Jake. I like the idea of having kids someday, but I've just started to understand that if I do, it will have serious consequences. And I don't want to put anyone in danger, least of all any children we might have. I guess I don't want to rush into making any decisions." I gave him a pleading look. "Please tell me you understand."

"Sure." Jacob sighed in resignation and the tension left his body. "I understand."

"I'm sorry, Jake." I snuggled closer and pressed my cheek to his bare chest. "I know that if I was a human, things would be much more straightforward for you."

"No." Jake slipped his hand under my chin and lifted my face to his. "Don't _ever_ think that. I wouldn't exchange what we have for anything. I'm not going to lie. I would love to have a family with you one day. But, I swear that if you don't want kids, then I could live with it. I would still be happy just to be with you." His dark eyes burned into mine. "You're the only thing I can't live without, Nessie."

My heart was warmed by his words, and when he lowered his head to kiss me, I melted into his warm embrace. We took our time, our lips moving languidly as we kissed. After a minute Jacob pulled away and added.

"Anyway, we don't have to make up our minds right now. Hell, the rest of the pack seems to have the 'let's breed the next generation' thing covered. There's no pressure on us. So I think that we should stop worrying about the future and just enjoy being together."

I nodded, winding my arm around his neck and saying against his lips. "I like your logic."

"Well." He suddenly grinned, pulling me onto his lap. "I like _you_."

I shifted my position, so that I was straddling him, and stared into his eyes. The room was fairly dark, and his eyes were partially hidden in shadow, but I could still see that they were locked on mine. I leaned forward, until our foreheads were touching, and whispered softly.

"Well, you know… I _love_ you."

Jake didn't say anything. I thought that he was going to kiss my mouth, but he gently brushed back my hair, and lowered his head to press his warm lips to the scars on my shoulder. I hardly breathed, as his mouth skimmed across my collarbone to the curve at the base of my throat. Jake must have heard my heart hammering in my chest, because he glanced up quickly, and threw me a soft smile, before his talented lips worked their way back over my scars.

Jake hooked his thumb into the straps of my tank top and bra, and I felt his warm breath fanning my skin, as he slipped them down and revealed my pale shoulder. He wrapped one arm around my waist, pulling me tightly against his body as his mouth worked its magic.

Twisting my fingers through his hair, I turned my lips to his velvety throat and kissed him, in an unspoken answer to his touch. I breathed in his scent. He smelled so good, that I couldn't resist running my tongue along his exposed skin. I could feel his pulse just below the surface, tempting me with his sweet blood. I nuzzled his throat with my nose, and I gave him a love bite. It was strong enough to make sure that he felt it, but gentle enough not to break the skin.

Jake sucked in a breath when my sharp teeth pressed against his throat, and gave my shoulder a playful nip. "Behave yourself."

"Sorry." I smiled, and swept my tongue across my tooth marks, soothing his skin. "Better now?"

Jake growled in response and lifted his head to capture my mouth in a searing kiss. He slipped his other arm around my waist, locking me in an unyielding hold. It was lucky for me that I had no desire to escape. I wrapped both arms around his strong neck and savoured the taste of his lips as they moved with mine.

I could hear the soft rhythm of the rain against the windows, and smell the damp aroma of the forest, drifting into the darkened house. They made me feel safe and reminded me that I was home, where I belonged.

Jacob's large hands moved under my tank top, sliding up my back, heating my skin. My top rode up, allowing my stomach to press against his bare torso. I wiggled closer, craving the skin-to-skin contact. It seemed that Jake was feeling the same way, because he lowered his hands and caught the hem of my top, pulling it over my head and tossing it aside.

I was left in my decorative pink bra and jeans. I gave a small sigh of relief when Jake's arms surrounded me and pulled me back against his muscular body. The feel of his skin against mine eased some of the burning need that coursed through my veins. After all the separation and danger, it was exhilarating to be completely alone with Jake, with no obstacles and no misunderstandings between us.

Jake's hands slipped down my back, over my hips, to my thighs. He gripped my legs and lifted them, to curl around his body. I instantly complied, wrapping myself around him, without breaking free of our kiss. I hardly noticed that Jacob was lifting me, until I found my back pressed against the soft seat of the couch.

Jake moved above me, resting on one elbow, so as not to crush me with his weight. I tugged him closer, loving the feel of his big body pressed against mine. His free hand skimmed along my jaw and down my throat, and his lips followed it.

"So beautiful," he murmured in my ear, as I returned his gentle caresses. "So perfect." He pressed a kiss just below my ear, whispering. "I need you, Nessie."

A small tremor of excitement ran down my spine, as his hand moved to the front of my jeans and he began to undo the buttons. His deft fingers made quick work of them, and a second later Jacob's thumb slipped over the top of my jeans, to pull them down over my hips. I angled my body to help him, but he suddenly jerked back.

I quickly glanced up. "What's wrong?"

He was breathing heavily and his eyes burned with barely contained passion. "Tell me to stop."

"What?" I met his heated gaze with hurt confusion. "Why?"

Jake looked as if he was fighting for control and he took a moment to answer. "Because, unless you tell me to stop, I won't be able to." He sounded desperate.

His reply removed any sting of rejection. Under different circumstances, this conversation might have embarrassed me, but I had been through a little too much in the last few days to feel coy, so I just shrugged.

"Who cares? I don't want you to stop."

Jake gave a tight smile and leaned in closer, tenderly brushing his thumb across my hipbone. "I can think of a few people who might care…" I could hear his uncertainty, his concern for my welfare.

My eyes narrowed. "Are any of them in this room right now?" I asked grimly. "Were any of them sitting beside me in Alaska, holding my hand when I was _dying?_"

I stared into his dark eyes as they searched mine, and raised my hand to his mouth, tracing his lips with my fingers and sending him a message.

_I don't give a damn what anyone else thinks, Jake. Life's too short. I just want you, and I honestly don't know what the hell we're waiting for_.

His eyebrows rose in surprise, but he looked relieved. A teasing smile broke across his face. "Is that so?"

_Yes, that's so_. I returned his smile and lifted my head to kiss him. _I love you, Jacob Black. So stop making excuses, and make me happy_.

And with those words I swept the final barriers away.

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Just to say a quick thank you to for the most recent list additions and reviews. I was very pleased. This story has been going for a while and it really means a lot to still get that feedback :) And an extra thanks goes to Olivia and Frank, it was great to hear from you both, sorry I can't send you PMs (I would if I could), because I would say that your nice reviews DO keep me going! **

**Thank you for reading, have a great fortnight,**

**Mad :)**


	58. Nessie, one of those mornings

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks to my beta, willowbae, for all her help. According to her, the saying "me da pena ajena" applies to this chapter. But I'll never know if she's telling the truth... because I can't speak Spanish ;)<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 58.<strong>

**Nessie – one of those mornings**

I awoke to the sound of a steady heartbeat. Feeling slightly disorientated, I opened my eyes and found myself in Jacob's bed with my arm draped over his sleeping form.

I could tell that it was still early. The light shining through the curtains was dim. I glanced at the bedside clock. It was only seven thirty in the morning. Jake's skin felt very warm, pressed against my own, but I could feel a cool draft of air on my back. I shifted slightly, pulling the bed sheets over our naked bodies. My maneuverers didn't disturb Jake. He stayed soundly asleep.

I rested my head back down on the pillow and lay silently for a few minutes, just watching Jake. I liked his expression when he was asleep. His handsome face was peaceful. He looked more boyish and less careworn than it did when he was awake. My eyes skimmed over his sleeping form. I had to admit that Jacob _did_ have a nice body. A very nice body indeed.

I reached out and ran my hand over his smooth torso, admiring his flawless, tanned skin. I gently moved my fingers over the ridges of his chest and down over his abdominal muscles. I gave them a small poke, testing them. I moved down to the next pair and tried again.

Poke, poke.

I was impressed. His muscles were rock hard under his velvety skin. I continued my exploration.

Poke, poke, poke.

"Are you enjoying yourself?"

I started as Jake's husky voice broke through my thoughts. He sounded amused. I glanced up, feeling slightly sheepish.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you…"

His hand instantly went to my cheek and he tilted my face up to take a good look at me. "Are you kidding? That was the best wake-up call ever." A tender light shone in his eyes. "You have no idea how beautiful you look right now."

I found myself blushing at this compliment. I ran my fingers through my messy hair and quickly looked away, muttering bashfully. "Yeah, I must look a real picture."

"A picture of perfection."

Jake seemed to be in the mood for waxing lyrical. I hid my pleasure at his poetic tribute by rolling my eyes. He wasn't put off. He just chuckled and kissed my head.

"Absolutely beautiful."

I moved into a more comfortable position by resting my head on his shoulder and hooking my leg over his thigh. Jake's arm wrapped around me and his fingers began to trace slow circles on my back. I snuggled a little closer and asked.

"How are you feeling? Are you tired?"

Jake gave a short laugh. "I should be… but actually, I feel great. How about you?"

My muscles felt a little stiff, but I still felt really relaxed and happy. More so than I had felt in a really long time. Everything had gone amazingly well during the night. To be honest, I would have expected to feel a little more awkward, but I had completely underestimated the power of the imprint connection.

"I feel really good, thanks."

"Do you know how long we've been asleep?" He rubbed his eyes and glanced towards the window, clearly wondering what time it was.

"About three hours. It's just gone seven thirty."

"Geez, Nessie… I can't believe you woke me this early." He completely failed in his efforts to sound stern.

"What can I say?" I smirked. "You're more fun when you're awake."

I smiled and cupped Jacob's cheek with my hand, turning his face so that I could kiss him. He slipped his hand behind my head, drawing me close, and I chose that precise moment to send him some very graphic memories of the previous night. Jake caught his breath, and before I knew it, he'd rolled us both over and pinned me under his big body.

"Just keep doing that…" he murmured, pressing a heated kiss to my throat.

"Ok," I agreed in a longsuffering voice. "But I want you to know, that I'm only using my gift because you're squishing me."

Jake kissed my jaw and gave an unrepentant laugh. "I can live with that."

I disentangled myself about two hours later, and went to use the bathroom and take a shower. Jacob followed me about fifteen minutes later. He offered to wash my back. I was sorely tempted to accept, but I had the feeling that if he was allowed into the shower with me, that we'd never get any breakfast, and I was starving. I hopped out of the shower and grabbed the nearest towel.

"Sorry, you missed your chance," I said primly, wrapping the towel around my body. "I need to eat."

Jake chuckled and gave me a quick kiss. "See you in a minute."

"I'll get started on breakfast."

"Great."

I slipped out of the steamy bathroom and hurried into the living room. I felt pretty good. I was washed, brushed and sparkling clean. The towel I'd grabbed turned out to be extremely small, but I just about managed to cover myself, as I headed into the living room to retrieve my clothes and backpack.

Unfortunately my clothes had been scattered across the room on the previous night, so I had to look around to find them. This was what I was busy doing, when I heard the front door open and a voice calling.

"Hey, Jake!"

Holding my towel in place, I spun around just as the tall form of Laird Hunter breezed into the house. I couldn't believe it! Of all the people to catch me in a state of semi-undress, why did it have to be one of the Hunter twins? He took one look at me, and his jaw dropped open.

I froze on the spot, caught between the desire to run away, and an unwillingness to leave the room without retrieving my clothes first. Laird just stared at me, transfixed. For a moment he seemed too preoccupied to say anything, but he finally shut his mouth and took a deep breath. I wished he hadn't, because the second he registered the scent of the room his expression changed.

"Hey," he drawled, giving me the most knowing smile that I had ever seen on the face of a seventeen year old.

I blushed and asked frostily. "Can I help you?"

He slowly looked me up and down, before answering. "Sam asked me to find Jake."

"He's in the shower," I said, trying to sound dignified as I swiped my tank top from the couch.

Laird folded his arms over his bare chest and watched me for a moment. "Do you need some help?"

"No," I snapped, grabbing my jeans from the floor. "I'm _fine_, thank you."

"I don't mind," he replied, leaning down and plucking a piece of clothing from the floor, near his foot. "Look, there you go."

Laird straightened up, and his expression was positively gleeful as he swung my pink bra from the end of his finger.

It just couldn't have been any _other_ piece of clothing, could it?

I felt utterly mortified as he crossed the room to hand me my underwear. I honestly didn't think that it could get any worse, but that was before the front door opened again, and Steve the apprentice appeared.

I found myself wondering if the young wolves were pathologically incapable of knocking.

"Hey, Ja…" He froze midsentence at the sight of me, Laird, and the offending bra. Unlike Laird, at least Steve had the decency to look embarrassed. He tried really hard to keep his eyes averted when he gulped. "Oh… Hi, Nessie."

And I tried really hard to pretend that there was nothing awkward about being caught half-naked in a house that absolutely reeked of sex, with Laird Hunter standing beside me, dangling my underwear from his fingertips.

"Hi, Steve." I greeted him nonchalantly, which was really quite an achievement, since I was also trying to keep my minuscule towel from falling off. "Are you looking for Jake?"

"Yeah," he mumbled, glancing at Laird's smug face, before adding with nervous uncertainty. "Is he home…?"

Good God! The implications of Steve's question horrified me. Did he actually think that I might be having a romantic liaison with _Laird Hunter?_ I almost choked, and replied with more force than was necessary.

"Yes, Jake's _here!_ He's taking a shower. He'll be out in a minute."

That was it! I had reached my maximum limit for humiliation. I snatched my bra from Laird's hand and turned to leave the room. But it seemed that fate had more agonies in store for me with the arrival of one final visitor. I heard a familiar voice calling outside.

"Hey, Jake. Are you there?"

"Yeah, he's here! Come on in," Laird called back helpfully, at which point I realised that if Emily did ever decide to throttle him, she'd have me as an accomplice.

And then I had to suffer the final disgrace of this scene being witnessed by Seth. I gave an inward groan, and accidently dropped all the clothes, as he strolled through the door. He raised his eyebrows when he caught sight of me in my towel.

"Hey, sweetheart." He glanced around and asked casually. "What's going on?"

My resentment peeped through. "Apparently _everyone_ wants to see Jake this morning,"

"But we're seeing _you_ instead," Laird interjected, with a smirk.

Seth threw him a quelling look. "_Watch it_, Hunter!"

It was nice to know that at least Seth wasn't stupid enough to misread the situation. I would have hugged him if I'd been properly dressed. As it was, I had to make do with shuffling uncomfortably from foot to foot.

Seth ignored Laird and Steve, and approached me instead. I glanced up and gave him a small, embarrassed smile and forced myself to ask.

"So… um… how's it going?"

He stopped in front of me. "I'm good, thanks." I could see both relief and concern in his eyes. "I've been trying to call since last night. How are you? How was Alaska?"

I shrugged evasively. "It was interesting."

"_Interesting…?_" Seth gave a worried frown.

I quickly glanced away, trying to avoid his scrutiny. "Maybe you should talk to Jake."

"But…"

"I'll just tell him you're here."

With those words, I abandoned any attempt to pick up my clothes and scurried off to the bathroom. I could hear that Jake was still in the shower, and I had to assume that he hadn't heard anything over the running water. I knocked on the bathroom door. I could still see the others watching me from the living room.

"Jake…" I called through the door.

I was about to tell him that there were three wolves in the living room, but he interrupted me the second he heard my voice.

"Why don't you get in here with me, honey?" He yelled back, jokingly. "Let me see if I can make you _growl_ again."

That was it, the single most mortifying moment of my life.

If I hadn't already been sure that the wolves had heard his loud voice, their smirking faces would have given it away. Even Seth tried to bite back smile. I spun around and opened the bathroom door, before Jake could do anymore damage. But it seemed that he was going to keep going until the very last. He poked his head out of the shower and winked.

"Great, but you really need to lose the towel…" He caught sight of my irate expression and broke off in confusion. "Hey, what's wrong?"

It wasn't his fault, but I was too humiliated to behave calmly. I angrily gripped the edge of the door with one hand, while holding up my towel with the other, and answered him with a fierce hiss.

"_You have guests…!_"

I threw Jake a vivid image of Seth, Steve and Laird standing in the living room, before turning on my heel and storming out of the bathroom.

"Aw, hell…" I heard Jake cursing, followed by the sounds of him stumbling out of the shower. "Nessie, _wait!_"

But I had already slamming the bathroom door behind me. Without another look at our visitors, I ran into the bedroom and banged the door closed. I sank down onto the bed, just in time to hear Jake leaving the bathroom.

"Dammit," he exclaimed irritably. "Haven't any of you got homes to go to?"

I buried my head under Jacob's pillow. I was too humiliated to listen to the rest of the conversation. A minute later, his door creaked open and I felt the bed dipping as someone sat down beside me. A warm hand suddenly rested on my shoulder.

"Honey… are you ok?"

"No."

"I'm sorry I upset you," he said gently.

"It's alright," I mumbled grudgingly. "It wasn't your fault."

He was silent for a long moment, just stroking my shoulder, and finally asked. "Do you want to come out from under there?"

I had to admit that, at that exact moment in time, making a new life for myself under Jacob's pillow seemed like the better option.

"Um… No. Not really…"

It turned out that Jake had other plans for my future, because a second later I felt the pillow being pulled away. My eyes flew open and I turned to glare up at him.

"What are you doing?"

His expression was half sorry, half amused. "Nessie, you can't hide in here forever."

"Can't I?" I covered my face with my hands. "Oh God. That was so embarrassing…! How am I going to face anyone ever again?"

"Come on, sweetheart. Laird and Steve have already gone, so you won't have to face them. And anyway, it's not that bad."

I sat up abruptly. "Not that _bad?_" I whispered, incensed. "I've never been so embarrassed in all my life."

Jacob's expression suddenly changed. His brow lowered and he gave me an intent look. "Are you regretting what happened between us? Are you ashamed of being with me?"

His expression remained guarded, as if he was expecting me to hurt him. I shook my head and reached out my hand.

"No." I protested. "No, don't ever think that. I'd never regret it. I just wish that we'd had more than twelve hours before the whole pack – or should I say _both_ the packs – knew everything."

Jake relaxed and squeezed my hand. "Yeah well, welcome to my world." He sighed. "Our mind reading gives a new meaning to the term 'walk of shame'. But we all try to give each other a little privacy, especially when it comes to imprints."

I appreciated Jacob's efforts to put my mind at rest, but I was still fairly confident that both Steve and Laird would replay the whole 'towel' episode for their respective packs to enjoy. I rolled my eyes and decided to let the matter go. It wasn't as if I could actually do anything about it.

"Ok, fine. Let's never talk about this again. Ever."

My efforts earned a broad smile from Jake. "Great." He sounded relieved, as he handed me a pile of clothes. "Here are your things. You should get dressed. Seth needs to talk to us. He says it's important."

"Sure," I grumbled, taking the clothes.

Jake leaned forward and kissed my forehead. "I love you."

I couldn't help smiling. "Well, it wouldn't hurt for you to tell me now and again."

He'd only said it about a thousand times on the previous night. Jake chuckled and kissed me again, before heading out of the door.

"I'll see you in a minute."

I didn't exactly hurry to get dressed, and by the time I finally emerged from the bedroom, Jake and Seth were in the kitchen. Jake was preparing breakfast and Seth was leaning against the counter talking to him. He looked up when I entered and gave me an anxious smile.

"Hey, Nessie."

"Hi…" I eyed Seth questioningly. "Is everything alright?"

It was Jake who answered for him. He put down his knife and turned to me with a tense expression.

"Seth's been trying to call us since yesterday. Bella called Charlie's house last night, she's been trying to find out where you are." His voice became grim. "Apparently, she and Edward arrived in Forks last night, and they want to see you right away."

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed, or added this story to their lists, in the last couple of weeks. It means a huge amount and keeps me work, work, working on the story (if working also includes drinking cups of hot chocolate and browsing the Internet). And also a big thanks you to MasRnR and my guest reviewer, because I couldn't PM you.**

**I will post again in a fortnight. In the meantime, have a lovely two weeks. **

**Thanks for reading, ****Mad :)**


	59. Nessie, the rebel

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

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><p><strong>Thank you to my lovely beta, willowbae, for all her help :)<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 59.<strong>

**Nessie – the rebel**

On the drive to the big house, my heart was lodged somewhere in my throat. I was in deep trouble. According to Seth, my father and mother had arrived on the previous night and had called Grandpa's house straight away. Seth had spoken to my mother, who'd said that she'd been trying to reach Jake and me for days.

I felt a little guilty, knowing that neither of us had bothered taking our cell phones to Denali. But even if the place hadn't had terrible phone reception, I still would have left my cell at home. I'd wanted to escape for a few days and avoid all awkward conversations with my family. I had succeeded up until now, but it seemed that my luck had finally run out.

Seth's anxious expression left me in no doubt that my parents were pretty upset with me. And they didn't know the half of it. I offered to return to Forks with Seth, but Jake refused to let me go alone. His exact words were.

"There is no way that I'm sending you to deal with your parents without me, so don't even think about it."

And he spoke with such grim determination that I didn't bother arguing, even if his expression gave me an uneasy sense of foreboding. To tell the truth, although I should have tried to be braver, I really needed Jacob's moral support. I had no idea of what I was going to say, or how my dad was going to react when he read my mind.

Just before we left his house, Jacob took me in his arms and kissed me tenderly. "Don't be scared, honey. I won't let anything happen to you."

I lifted my face to his, looking for reassurance. "You promise."

"Always." He held me a little tighter and kissed me again. "I'll always look after you, Nessie. You never need to doubt it."

"Why?" I teased.

"Because you're mine."

"Does that make you mine too?" I said, possessively wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Yeah." He smiled and ushered me towards his car. "But then again, I always have been."

As we drew closer to my parents' house, we started talking about trivial matters, trying to keep our thoughts away from all recent events. Neither of us wanted to give my father any kind of mindreading advantage. And by the time we turned into the long driveway, we were talking about the incessant rain and the hazards of driving on damp roads.

When we reached the house, I noticed that all the shutters had been opened, and I caught sight of an expensive rented car, parked in the open garage. My parents had obviously flown over, and it looked as if they'd been busy since their arrival.

Jake and I stepped out of the car onto the muddy driveway, just as my mother and father opened the front door. They were both looking their usual selves, young, beautiful and expensively dressed in shades of blue and grey, but their expressions were uncharacteristically tense.

We hurried towards the house, trying to avoid the heavy rain. I couldn't quite meet their eyes as I crossed the threshold. My father closed the door behind us with a heavy clunk and my mother swept forward to hug me.

"Nessie." She squeezed me tightly, and I could hear the concern in her voice. "I'm so glad to see you. I've been so worried."

"I'm glad to see you too." I hugged her briefly. But before my mind could wander to Alaska, or anywhere else, I quickly found a distraction. "The house looks nice. You've done a lot. It didn't look nearly this good when I last came here."

"Yes, we've been busy all night. But thank you for checking on it so often. Your grandmother is especially grateful."

"Have you visited the cottage," I asked, forcing back my nervous anxiety. "Katherine really tried to look after it while she was staying. I know she even did some maintenance."

"Yes, it looks very nice," my mother replied awkwardly. It seemed that I wasn't the only one who was feeling uncomfortable.

My father's voice broke into the conversation, and he didn't sound too happy. "Maybe your friend, Katherine, can explain why she left a large tree sprawled across the cottage path."

This statement completely threw me. I had absolutely no idea what my father was talking about, but he read my mind before I could muster a reply.

"Oh, never mind." He sounded a little impatient. "It's gone now. Let's just hope it doesn't happen again."

"Um… ok."

As I waited for the questions to start flying, I shifted uncomfortably and glanced at Jake, who was standing beside me. He was wearing a blank, stoical expression, and it was a fairly safe bet that he was guarding his thoughts. He glanced down at me and the expression in his eyes softened. I couldn't look away and before I could stop them, my thoughts were flooded with images of the previous night spent in his arms… and bed.

My father was standing a few feet away, and I saw his whole frame freeze as he read my mind. I tried to think of something else, but it was too late, he'd already seen enough. He slowly turned to face me, and as much as I wanted to look away, I found myself locked in his gaze. The look on his face was a mixture of shock and incredulity. In spite of the fact that my father had been reading teenage minds for over a century, he clearly hadn't seen that one coming.

I gaped at him, horrified and ashamed, and my cheeks flooded with colour. "Dad…"

"No, Renesmee. I don't want your explanations," he replied stiffly, before fixing Jacob with a look of bitter anger. "I want _his_."

"I'm sorry, Jake," I burst out. "I didn't mean to show him…"

My mother glanced between us in confusion. "What's going on? Edward, what's wrong?"

I cringed with embarrassment at the way this conversation was progressing. In an ideal world, I would have called my mom and told her what had happened in Alaska, and gently hinted that my relationship with Jacob had taken a major step forward. The fact that she was miles away would have worked to my advantage, but my father's gift had removed that option.

Why couldn't I have been born into a normal family? The kind who could live in blissful ignorance of what their daughter got up to with her steady boyfriend. But no, I was a Cullen and didn't have that luxury. My dad was going to force us into making some kind of statement on the subject. There was no escaping it.

My mother was watching me, and judging by her stunned expression, it was clear that she had just worked out what we were talking about. My father was too angry to notice. His voice dripped with moral outrage as he glared at Jake.

"Yes, Jacob. Why don't you explain to Bella _exactly_ what's been going on? You can tell her how you broke the agreement you made with me. How you've broken trust with all of us."

"No." Jake stepped forward, unrepentant and bristling with anger, ready to face down my dad. "I kept my word. I agreed not to go with Nessie to Half Moon Bay, and I didn't."

"Oh, you toed a fine line there, didn't you?" My father snapped, clenching his fists. "You didn't take my daughter to California, so you went to Alaska instead. And you chose a very suitable pair of 'chaperones' for your little trip.

"Leo, a promiscuous tracker, with dubious morality and a closet full of skeletons, including a murdered lover. And this _Katherine_ person, a stray vampire that no one else in the family has actually met, but who seems to have done a spectacular job in leading my innocent, young daughter astray after only a few weeks acquaintance. Yes, Jacob, I can see that you _really_ stuck to the spirit of our agreement."

My jaw dropped open at his unjust attack upon my friends. I wanted to defend them, but Jacob spoke first and his tone was harsh.

"So, you want to talk about _trust_, do you, Edward?" He growled, never taking his eyes from my father's face. "You want explanations?"

My father's expression changed, he must have heard what was in Jacob's mind, because his mouth clenched into a hard line. Jake continued ruthlessly.

"If you think that you're going to get any explanations from me, you're wrong. I'm done with respecting your wishes, Edward. I stopped owing you anything the second that you pressured Nessie to lie to me."

My mother looked at my father in shock. "Edward…?"

He answered her in a tight voice. "Jacob knows about Jasper."

"Oh…" Her small, guilty gasp said it all.

She took a step back and receded into herself. My father was less willing to concede the point.

"So does this suddenly give you the right to take advantage of my daughter, Jacob?" He bit out. "Do you think that taking her virtue makes us _even?_"

I blushed, but Jacob's nostrils flared angrily and he slowly shook his head. "No, we're not even. We're not even close…" He glanced down at me, gently taking my hand, before turning back to my father with an uncompromising frown. "You never should have made Nessie take sides. I don't know if I'll ever forgive you for what you did to her."

My hand tightened in his, as the memories of Alaska began to surface. I fought them back with all my might. I didn't want to go back there. I didn't ever want to feel that scared again. Before I knew it, I had made an instinctive move towards Jake, looking for comfort. His arm protectively circled my waist. He leaned in close and murmured in my ear.

"It's ok, honey. It's over, don't think about it."

I threw a sideways glance at my father. His face was grave, as he tried to decipher my flashes of memory. My mother watched in hopeless confusion. She met my eyes with a pleading expression.

"Please, Nessie. What is Jake talking about?"

"Yes…" my father added, his expression becoming intent. "I want to know _exactly_ what happened to you."

I tried to resist him, shaking my head and hiding my face against Jacob's chest. I felt as if I was teetering right on the brink.

"No… I don't want to think about it."

"Renesmee. This isn't a game…" Something in my father's autocratic tone made me angry. I glared over my shoulder and he frowned disapprovingly. "I want the truth, young lady."

I was already in an emotional state and those few words pushed me right over the edge. I had been through too much to be treated like a child. Before I knew what I was doing, I spun around with a snarl.

"You want the truth? Here's the _truth!_"

I didn't think twice as I gathered my memories of the attack. I took all the images of terror, pain and death, and forced them outwards.

What I fired at my parents was the equivalent to a psychic punch in the face, but I was too angry to care, even when I saw their looks of horror as the memories hit. My mother's hand flew to her mouth and she gave a soundless cry, and my father stood unmoving, his face a mask of shock.

For a long moment the room was absolutely still. Neither of my parents spoke, as they tried to comprehend my devastating memories. Jacob stood beside me, tall and silent, with his arms still tightly wrapped around me. When they finally shook themselves from their frozen state, my mother rushed forward, reaching for me.

"Oh Nessie… they hurt you." Her voice broke. Jake released his hold and she pulled me into a tight hug. "You could have died. My little girl, I could have lost you..."

"It's ok, Mom." I tried to comfort her. "I'm fine, really."

"No… no, it's not," she gasped, hugging me tighter. "You were nearly _killed!_"

I looked over her shoulder at my father. His whole body was tense and his eyes wild.

"Dad…"

He shook his head incredulously and spoke, almost to himself. "The Volturi… they tried to _murder_ you..."

"They nearly succeeded," said Jake in a hard voice.

My dad's eyes snapped into focus and he turned to me. "You can't stay here."

I slowly released myself from my mother's hold. I had a bad feeling. "What do you mean?"

He ran a hand through his hair, and although this was a familiar gesture, his eyes looked a little too bright to reassure me.

"We wanted to give you the chance to have a normal college experience, to spend some time away from home and gain a little independence," he explained in a tense voice. "But I can see that the experiment has failed. You're not safe in Washington. We can't protect you here. You're coming home with us."

"What?" I cried, stunned. "No…"

"I'm sorry, Renesmee." His expression became stubborn. "I know you're disappointed, but there's no other way, you're clearly not safe here."

I looked to my mother for support. She seemed a little taken aback, but I noticed that she didn't actually disagree with my father. I couldn't believe it. They really wanted me to leave my college and Grandpa's home in Forks, and travel with them to Illinois, to a house that I'd never even seen before. But worse than that, they wanted me to leave Jake.

In a single moment, I could see the life that I had struggled to create being wrenched away from me. I took a step away from my parents and found that I had backed into Jacob. He reached to steady me, and I spun around to face him. Clutching his shirtfront, I stared up at him pleadingly.

"Don't let them, Jake… don't let them take me away."

Jake's fingers closed on my shoulders and his eyes met mine. "Don't worry, you're not going anywhere," he reassured me.

I heard my father's cool voice. "That really isn't your decision, Jacob."

Jake slowly lifted his eyes from my face to glare at my father. "She's _mine_ now, and there is absolutely no way that I'm letting you take her away from me."

The complete certainty in his voice filled me with confidence. Jake wasn't going to let me go. My father took an angry step towards us.

"She's still my daughter, Jacob. And you have no right to stop me from taking her, especially since you failed to keep her safe in the first place. She was left in your care, and look what happened."

With a swift movement, Jake spun me behind him, shielding me with his big body, as he faced down my father.

"Nessie wouldn't have been in that situation if you hadn't pressured her to lie to me. Do you have any idea of what that did to her? She wanted to tell me the truth, but she couldn't, so she ran away to Alaska. When you came between us, you put her in the worst possible danger.

"Your pride nearly killed her, Edward. When Jasper broke the treaty, there was no need to involve Nessie. You could have spoken to me yourself. You could have explained what happened and asked for leniency over the treaty. But _no_, you were too proud to ask me for a favour, you weren't prepared to put yourself under any kind of obligation to me or my pack." He shook his head scornfully. "But you weren't too proud to ask your own daughter to do your dirty work and lie for you."

My jaw dropped open at Jake's scathing attack. I held my breath and waited for my father to explode, but it was my mother who spoke first.

"How can you say that?" She cried. "Jake, you know that's not fair. Edward would never try to hurt Nessie. He was only trying to protect her. He was trying to protect all of us. He was even trying to protect _you_. He didn't want to bother you with the problem, Jacob."

As usual, she was defending my father, but this time she was in the wrong. I gripped Jake's arm, and pushed past him to confront my mother.

"Why are you defending Dad?" I accused. "He made me lie to Jake. Our family broke the treaty. Uncle Jasper _murdered_ someone, Mom. Doesn't that matter to you?" My voice shook as I reproached her. "How can you justify that?"

My sudden attack caught everyone off-guard. Jake and my father looked lost for words, while my mother struggled to find an answer.

"I'm not saying that what Jasper did was right," she finally blustered. "It was very sad… but sometimes these accidents happen, Nessie. He's a vampire."

"So what are you saying? That Uncle Jasper's right to make mistakes outweighs that poor girl's right to live?"

"No, of course not, but it's what he is. It's what we all are. We have to live with that."

I stared into her eyes and shook my head. "I don't want to live with it. If I had the choice I would rather be human. I would prefer to live in a family like Grandpa's, and live a normal, mortal life, than spend an eternity as a vampire. I want what _you_ gave up, and I can't understand why you did.

"Why did you want this, Mom? Why did you choose to turn a blind eye to the fact that half our family are murderers, and actually decide to join them? Grandma Esme, Aunt Alice, Uncle Emmett, Uncle Jasper, Aunt Rose, _Dad_… they've all _killed_ people, Mom. Don't you even care?"

I could have cut the silence with a knife. My mother and father stared at me aghast, both completely ashen faced. Even Jacob looked shocked. I don't think that anyone had expected me to deliver such a low blow. My family's ugly past always lurked in the shadows, but I had just shone a floodlight onto it. I had called my father a murderer.

Within seconds my parents' expressions became closed. It was apparent that they weren't going to confront what I was saying. My accusations were just too serious, too painful to face, so they simply decided to dodge them.

My father drew himself to his full height, and looked down at me with a cool frown.

"Well, it's very interesting to see the effects that seven months at college have had on you, Renesmee," he said quietly. "But this spoilt tantrum hasn't convinced me that the experience has benefitted you in any way. It's just removed any guilt that I would have felt about taking you home. It's clear that you've picked up nothing but bad habits in your time away. You've made some unsuitable friends, your relationship with Jake has progressed too fast, and your life has been in mortal danger."

My mouth dropped open. "_What?_ No… it's not like that..."

"That's enough. I don't want to hear another word," he snapped, his cool façade slipping a little. "You're coming home with us today. I'm sure that Sue won't mind packing up your things at Charlie's house, and we can arrange to have the rest of your belongings collected from your dorm. They can all be sent straight to Illinois."

He then added, by way of a concession. "And if you want to continue with your studies, I'm sure we can have you transferred to a university near home. Chicago is hardly short of good schools."

My future was being rewritten before my eyes and I felt helpless to prevent it. I shook my head despairingly.

"No," I begged. "Please Dad… you can't do this…"

"I'm sorry, Renesmee, but you'll be better off with us."

As I listened to his dictates, my heart felt as if it was about to pound out of my chest. I was surprised that anyone could hear over its sound. But just as I was about to give in to defeat, I suddenly noticed the sound of Jacob's heart beating close by. His heart was sure and strong, thumping a tattoo of life and hope. Ours were the only heartbeats to be heard, and suddenly there was no question in my mind. I knew that I belonged with the living. I belonged with Jake.

All at once, it wasn't so difficult to look my father in the eye and say. "No, Dad. I'm staying here. I'm not leaving Washington."

My father must have heard my thoughts, but he wasn't going to give up so easily.

"I can see that it's difficult for you." He frowned. "But this is for your own good. You're coming with us, and that's final."

Before I could answer him, I felt a firm hand rest on my shoulder and heard Jacob's husky voice.

"She's not going anywhere." He stepped forward, adding harshly. "If you want to take her away, Edward, you'll have to start a war to do it."

My father glared at Jake. "This isn't up to you."

"I'm invoking the treaty." Jacob's tone was grim. "I don't particularly want to, but you've given me no choice. Your family broke our agreement, and I haven't heard so much as a word of apology, or any kind of concession from you. And now you want to remove one of our pack imprints by force. She's clearly stated that she doesn't want to go with you, but you're threatening to take her anyway. As far as I'm concerned, that's an act of war. And if you attempt it, there will be bloodshed."

I couldn't tell if my father was more shocked or angered by Jacob's words, but my mother instantly tried to backtrack.

"There's no need for that, Jake. Surely we can talk about this. How many years have we been friends?"

I glanced up at Jake and noticed his face harden as he answered my mother. "Oh, so _now_ you remember our friendship, do you? It's a pity that you were so happy to forget about it when Edward pressured Nessie lie to me." He shook his head forbiddingly. "I'm sorry, Bella, but you're a fool if you think that I value your friendship above Nessie's welfare."

My mother looked as if he'd slapped her in the face. "_Jacob…!_"

My father stepped into the breach. "This is about Nessie's welfare." He hissed. "You've done nothing but lead her astray. She's not your plaything, Jacob."

I could almost taste the anger that emanated from Jake, but he made no move towards my father. He just folded his big arms over his chest and narrowed his eyes.

"You've got until the end of the day to leave the peninsula, after that I won't be held responsible for your safety. If you stay, it will be taken as an act of war against the pack. Do you understand?"

My mother was stunned into silence, but my father shook his head angrily. "I never thought you'd do this, Jacob. I never thought that you'd try to come between Renesmee and her family. I thought you cared about her."

"I'm not stopping Nessie from seeing you," Jake countered. "I'd never try and cut her off from her family. She can see you any time she wants, but she'll have to do it somewhere else. You're not welcome here anymore."

My father turned to me. He looked angry and tense. "Renesmee, are you willing to return home with your mother and me?"

I glanced from him to Jacob, and slowly shook my head. "No, I'm not," I whispered. "I'm staying here."

My father's jaw clenched shut and he fired a very bitter look in Jake's direction. "Well, you're to be congratulated, Jacob. You've finally forced my daughter to choose between us."

"No, Dad," I burst out. "No, Jake didn't force me. _You_ did. You made me choose when you pressured me to lie, and you're making me choose now." I glared at him angrily. "Well, you know what? I choose Jake. I'll always choose him. And he's right to uphold the treaty, someone was murdered, and it actually matters."

My eyes travelled from him to Jacob, and then back again. I took a deep breath and reached into my jacket pocket.

"I'm sorry, Dad. But you've left me no alternative."

I pulled out my car keys and tossed them onto the sideboard. My father must have heard my thoughts, but my mother had no idea what was happening.

"What's going on, Nessie. What are you doing?"

"I'm giving you back my car. You'll find it parked in Sea Tac's long stay parking lot. I left it there when I got home from Alaska."

"Nessie…" My mother protested weakly.

My father was less impressed. "Well, that's a very nice piece of rebellion." His voice was dry. "But how do you intend to get around if you don't have a car? Have you ever actually used public transport?"

My chin jutted out angrily. "I'm sure I can manage to take a bus. Or…" I had a sudden moment of inspiration. "I can borrow Jake's motorcycle."

My parents looked absolutely horrified. I glanced in Jacob's direction, seeking support, and discovered that he looked almost as taken aback as they did. He met my look with an uncertain expression.

"Ok… now let's just think about that for a second…"

"For goodness sake, Renesmee," my father interrupted angrily. "Not even Jacob thinks that that's a good idea."

The thought of my father poking around in Jacob's mind, and then having the nerve to tell me how Jacob viewed my ideas, made my blood boil. And before I knew it, I had turned on him furiously.

"Don't tell me what Jacob _thinks!_" I yelled. "If he wants me to know, he'll tell me himself. It's none of your business. Stop eavesdropping on other people's thoughts."

"Nessie, don't..." My mother's expression was harrowed. "You know that he doesn't choose to hear what other people are thinking. He can't help it."

Her words made me feel strangely desolate. I really didn't know what more I could say, how I could make her understand.

"Honestly, Renesmee," said my father irritably. "Don't you think you're being just a _little_ melodramatic?"

His words jolted me out of my sense of hopelessness, and I suddenly remembered that I was angry. I clenched my fists.

"_Why can't you just STAY OUT OF MY HEAD?!_" I shouted, my voice breaking on the last word.

I found myself desperately wishing that I had mental defences so strong that he could never, ever break through them again. My father looked genuinely taken aback by my final outburst, or maybe he was just shocked by the intensity of my desire to block him out.

"Nessie…" My mother started to remonstrate, but I turned away angrily.

"I want to go home."

Jacob instantly moved to follow me. "Fine."

I didn't wait for my parents' reaction; I just headed for the exit. I could feel Jake's reassuring presence behind me. My father didn't speak, but when I reached the door, I heard my mother's plaintive voice.

"Nessie, _don't_…"

I was still too angry to reply. I flung open the front door and rushed outside. As I stepped onto the driveway, Jacob stopped in his tracks. I glanced back and saw that he was still standing just inside the entrance, staring at my dad.

"A patrol will pass by tomorrow to check that you've gone," he said darkly. "I guess I don't need to _tell_ you that I'm serious."

With these words he left the house, firmly closing the front door behind him. I hurried into the car, half expecting my parents to follow me, but they remained inside. A moment later, Jake climbed into the driver's seat. He looked grave, and turned to me quietly.

"Are you ready to leave?"

I nodded quickly and tried to keep my voice even. "Yes. Please… let's go."

"Ok." Jake still sounded surprisingly calm.

He gave me one more look, before starting the car and driving away from the big house without a backwards glance.

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Dear Readers,**

**I generally like to keep a positive tone in these notes (because, let's face it, who wants to hear my whining?) I also try and stick to a reliable posting timetable to make things easier for you. So far, I have stuck to these two principals, but I have hit an unexpected crisis.**

**The flat below mine is being completely refurbished. This job started a week and a half ago (and is going on until May) and has involved ripping down all the walls and ceiling plaster, and removing all the fittings. **

**Now, I don't want to be too mean, because the builders are nice guys and they're trying to be considerate, but my home has been filled with dirt (imagine opening your kitchen draws and finding every single thing in them covered in a layer of plaster dust) and it has been really, really noisy, especially since now the only thing between my flat and the demolitions are the newly exposed wooden floorboards. Unsurprisingly, it is almost impossible to concentrate. **

**Not only am I trying to think around huge amounts of banging and crashing, but I also have to listen to the builders singing along to the radio (which, incidentally, is on _all_ day). I still can't decide which was more jaw-dropping, their version of Jennifer Rush's 'The Power of Love' or Mariah Carey's 'Endless Love'…**

**Anyway, with all this disruption, my writing schedule is completely up the creek. It is a miracle that this chapter was posted at all, since I just spent the whole day grovelling around in the kitchen cupboards, and washing the curtains (which I accidentally turned yellow, when I put some dusters in the same wash… *sigh*).**

**I can see that I'm going to need a bit of time to get things back on track, and although I hate to do it, I am going to take a month off posting any chapters. **

**I will post the next chapter on SATURDAY 16th MARCH****. **

**Please rest assured that I have already done a lot of work on the final stages of the story, and I fully intend to finish it. **

**If you fancy giving me some much needed moral support (or just condoling on the state of my curtains) then please leave a review. **

**Which reminds me, thank you to everyone who reviewed last time, your comments were very much appreciated. (And MasRnR sorry I couldn't PM you, because I would have loved to answer your very interesting review and questions properly, and reassure you that I do actually like the Cullens, ha ha. Have you considered getting a profile on the site?)**

**Well, that's enough for now, have a lovely month. Hope you're all still around when I post again in March :)**

**Take care, Mad :)**


	60. Nessie, moving on

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

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><p><strong>A huge thank you to my lovely beta, willowbae, for all her help :)<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 60.<strong>

**Nessie – moving on**

The drive to Grandpa's house was made in complete silence. Jacob was too angry, and I was too distraught to speak. When we pulled up outside, Seth instantly appeared at the front door. Without a word, I hurried past him into the house and ran straight up to my bedroom, firmly closing the door behind me.

I glanced around the room. It was comforting to be back in my safe haven. My things were exactly where I'd left them. My surfboard was standing in the corner, and my pictures and ornaments were sitting on the dresser, completely untouched.

I could hear Jacob downstairs, talking to Seth, Grandpa and Sue. He was recounting the fight with my parents. Jake didn't go into full details, since Grandpa _officially_ had no idea that any of us were supernaturals, but he gave them the gist of what had happened. I didn't really want to hear the conversation, so I turned on my stereo to block it out.

I sat down on the bed and discovered that my hands were shaking and my stomach seemed to have tied itself in knots. Stress was washing over me in sickening waves. I tried to distract myself from the feeling, and reached into my pocket and pulled out my credit cards. I stared at them for a long moment, making the decision, and then slowly tore them to pieces.

Jake opened the door just as I finished shredding the very last one. He came into the room, carrying my backpack. When he spotted the broken pieces of cards he raised his eyebrows.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm getting rid of my cards. I don't want to take any more blood money from my family."

"Ok…" Jacob eyed me cautiously. "What about college?"

"I'll carry on until the end of the year."

I stood up and carried the remains of the cards to the waste bin and dropped them in. I switched off the stereo and turned to Jake, saying in a matter-of-fact way.

"The fees have already been paid, so it's too late to do anything about them now. It would be a pointless and wasteful gesture to refuse to attend my classes for the rest of the year. Next year, well… I'm not sure what I'll do, but I'll figure it out."

I was slightly surprised by how organised I sounded, as if I'd given the matter some consideration, which I certainly hadn't.

"But I won't ask them to pay any other expenses, or fees." I added stubbornly. "I don't want to."

Before Jake could reply, Grandpa appeared in the doorway. He looked grave, and for a second I felt a little worried.

"Oh… hi, Grandpa."

"Now don't you try and turn on the charm with me, young lady." He frowned. "You're in big trouble. You went to Alaska without asking your parents, and pretended that they knew all about it. And not only did I have to explain to them where you'd gone, but I also spent nearly two weeks worrying myself sick about you. If it hadn't been for the fact that Jake went to find you, I would have probably come looking for you myself."

I flinched at Grandpa's uncharacteristically strict tone. All the stress of the past hour caught up with me, and my lip began to tremble.

"I'm sorry…" My eyes fell under his stern gaze. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you the truth. And I'm sorry that you were worried… I'm sorry…" My voice broke.

"That is not the kind of behaviour that you can expect to get away with, if you live with me, Nessie."

My head flew up in shock. I stared at him aghast. "Are you kicking me out?"

"What?" Grandpa looked almost as startled as me. His lecture was thrown off-track and he became a little flustered. "No, sweetheart… of course not." He stumbled. "I was just explaining that if you _want_ to stay here, I expect you to follow my rules."

"Of course, Grandpa." I sighed with relief. "I'm so sorry. It won't happen again."

Grandpa managed to regroup enough to give me a stern look. "Well, I'm glad to hear it. I don't want any more trouble." He glared at Jake and added. "From either of you."

"Sure, fine."

Grandpa turned back to me. "You can stay here, but I'm not going to be drawn into taking sides against your mom. I won't be dragged into the middle of a feud, Nessie. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, Grandpa." I answered respectfully. "I understand."

He seemed to feel that he'd said enough and changed the subject. "Well, if you two want lunch, you'd better come downstairs. You know how Sue feels about good food going to waste."

"Ok. Thanks, Grandpa. We'll be down in a second."

Jake nodded in agreement. "Thanks, Charlie."

"Yeah, well," Grandpa muttered as he left the room. "If stress sends me to an early grave, I'll know who to blame…"

The rest of the weekend was a little surreal. I stayed at Grandpa's house. I would have preferred to stay at La Push, but it seemed more diplomatic to stay with Grandpa, rather than shack up with Jake straight after falling out with my family. I don't know what Jake said to Sue and Grandpa about our time in Alaska, but I noticed that they did treat me more gently than I might have expected after going AWOL for two weeks.

Jake was even allowed to spend the weekend at our house and sleep in Leah's old room. He had to go to La Push on Saturday afternoon, to get his stuff and speak to the wolves about the situation with my family, but he returned in the evening.

It was the first time that we'd been apart since the Volturi's attack and I found myself counting the seconds until he came back. I constantly had to remind myself that if I wanted to return to college, I'd have to get used to being away from Jacob for more than a few hours at a time. When he finally returned to Grandpa's I nearly broke the front door off its hinges in my anxiety to reach him.

That night, instead of falling asleep, I tossed and turned in my bed for hours. The whole house was peaceful and I could hear Grandpa and Sue asleep in the room next door, but I couldn't sleep without Jake beside me. For the very first time in my life, the darkness felt truly threatening.

Every time I closed my eyes I could see the Volturi standing across the river waiting to put an end to my existence. Or worse still, I could see my mother's look of distress as I threw my father's past in her face.

By two o'clock in the morning, my face was buried in my pillow and I was fighting back the tears. I kept asking myself how everything had fallen apart so spectacularly, and just what I was going to do to survive it. I was in this state of misery, when my door creaked open and a voice whispered.

"Nessie, are you ok?" I glanced up as Jake crept into the shadowy room and sat down on the bed. "I heard you from downstairs."

I had never been so relieved to see anyone in my whole life. Before he could say anything else I threw myself into his arms and buried my face in his neck.

"I'm so glad you're here…"

And without warning I sent him a replay of what had been going through my mind for the last few hours. Jake hugged me tightly and kissed my ear.

"I'm sorry, honey."

"I know. So am I."

I rested my head against his shoulder, looking for comfort. He stood up with me in his arms and gently laid me on the bed. I released my hold on his neck and lay back against the pillows, while Jake climbed in beside me and said in a hushed voice.

"Just try and relax, and I'll stay here with you, ok?"

"Ok, thanks." I snuggled closer and pressed my lips to his smooth chest.

"Hey, that's not relaxing!" He protested.

"No, but it does make me feel a little better," I grinned and nipped his throat.

"Come on, honey," Jake groaned, pulling away. "It's one thing to go behind Charlie's back to sleep in your room, but don't tempt me... _please_…"

Jake sounded a little desperate and I had to admit that he had a point. Grandpa had been pretty forgiving about my recent excursion, and it seemed rather ungrateful to flout his rules too flagrantly on the very day I arrived home. So I had to satisfy myself with a small kiss and a good night's sleep – which I did actually get, thanks to Jacob's presence. He wrapped himself behind me, creating a safe cocoon in which I could relax and get some rest.

True to his word, Jake sent a patrol of wolves to the big house the next morning. They found the place closed up and empty. I heard this news with a mixture of relief and guilt. I was pleased that there had been no confrontation, but the situation hardly filled me with joy. I noticed that Jake didn't want to discuss it any more than I did. We just spent a quiet Sunday together, while I unpacked and washed the contents of my backpack and got everything ready for my return to college.

Jake drove me to Seattle really early on Monday morning. I had exams all day and we left Grandpa's house before the sun rose to get there in time.

Jake dropped me outside my dorm before eight. He planned to visit Leah after leaving me; he hadn't seen her in a while and wanted to catch up. We didn't have time for a fond farewell, because I had to hurry inside and get ready, which was probably a good thing, since it might have sparked off an emotional meltdown in me.

Of course, as soon as I reached my room, my anxious roommate, Kristy, confronted me. She had spoken to Grandpa in my absence and wanted to know what on earth had been going on. This turned out to be the first of several guilty explanations that I had to make during the day.

Before my first exam, I had to explain to my head of department why I'd missed all my exams on Thursday and Friday. I told the truth – with a few omissions – and said that I'd been stranded in Alaska. She was surprisingly reasonable about it and said that she would discuss the situation with my professors. I suspected that my high GPA had something to do with her tolerant attitude. I also found myself being questioned by various classmates. It seemed that I'd created quite a stir with my exam no-shows.

By the time I turned over my first paper of the day I was already mentally exhausted. I was on autopilot as I filled in my tests, and if anyone had asked me what I had actually written, I don't think I would have been able to tell them. I was thankful that I only had one more day of exams before it was all over.

After my last test, I went to get a bite to eat and then hurried to meet Katherine at her hotel, as promised. It was close to sunset when I finally arrived. She swung open her door and greeted me pleasantly, before ushering me into her room. She was dressed in a pair of jeans and a well-worn sweatshirt, and her hair was pulled back into a ponytail. She looked the epitome of someone who was taking it easy.

I followed her inside and gazed around. It was the kind of soulless room which I would have expected in such a large hotel, but at least it looked clean and comfortable. Katherine closed the door firmly and smiled.

"So, how are you doing?"

I tried to sound relaxed. "I'm fine, thanks."

Katherine wasn't fooled by my show of nonchalance. She tilted her head quizzically. "How were the exams?"

I shrugged. "Ok, I guess, nothing too horrendous."

"Well, that's good. You must be relieved."

"Yeah, definitely. Only one more day to go." I looked up and met her eye. "How about you, have you been ok?"

She gave a light smile and crossed the room, indicating to the clean piles of clothes, which were resting on her bed, with a proud expression.

"Sure, I actually got some chores done. I went through my backpack during weekend, and worked out exactly what needed to be repaired or replaced, and did some shopping. And today, I spent the whole morning at the Laundromat. I even mended some things this afternoon."

I already knew that Katherine had a well worked out system for living on the road, so it was no surprise to see a small sewing kit resting on the bed, beside her clothes. I stared at it absently, before turning and saying in a purposeful voice.

"I saw my dad this weekend. He came to Forks to see me."

"Really?" Katherine raised her eyebrows in surprise. "What happened? Was everything ok?"

She stared at me warily, waiting for my reply. If it had been anyone else, I might have given an edited version of events, but after everything we had been through together, I decided to tell her the whole truth. I stepped forward and touched her cheek. I showed her the whole argument with my father and some of my later conversations with Jake. She wore a concentrated frown as the memories were revealed.

When I was finished, I let my hand drop. Katherine gave me a thoughtful look. I could see concern in her gaze, and I looked away, feeling a little self-conscious. She sat down on the bed with a sigh and shook her head.

"Wow, it sounds like you've had one hell of a weekend."

I shifted uncomfortably. "You could say so."

Katherine glanced up and caught sight of my anxious face, and in an effort to lighten the mood, she threw me a rueful smile. "So… you and Jake, huh?"

Something about her expression made me smile in spite of myself. I sat down beside her and replied bashfully. "Yeah…"

She gave me a playful nudge. "You sly thing, you. I bet Jake never knew what hit him."

"I guess not, it wasn't exactly planned."

Just for a second, my mind drifted back to the tender way he'd held me, and I smiled to myself. Katherine caught the look and chuckled.

"He's a lucky man." There was kindness in her golden eyes as she reached out and squeezed my hand. "But, there's no doubt that he knows it. I'm really glad it worked out for you both."

"Thanks Katherine."

She gave a wide grin. "Do you realise that Jake has singlehandedly proved that not all guys are losers?"

"Maybe he's just the exception that proves the rule."

"No, don't say that, I was just starting to get my hopes up."

Although I knew that she was only joking, I couldn't stop myself from saying. "You never know, there might be a really nice guy out there, just waiting for you."

She ignored my comment and stood up, turning her attention to the piles of clean clothes on her bed.

"It's great that I've had time to sort out my stuff, it makes everything much easier." She glanced over and added lightly. "You can tell Jake that I promise to be gone by the end of the day."

I jolted at her words. "_What?_" I exclaimed, quickly rising to my feet. I wondered if I had misheard her. "What do you mean?"

Katherine seemed confused. "Isn't that what you came to tell me? That I need to leave Washington."

"What are you talking about? Why on earth would I tell you to leave the state?"

She gave me a long look and sighed. "I'm sorry; I would have assumed that you two had already agreed it. I should have known that Jake would decide to make an exception of me, because I'm your friend."

"An exception?"

"By saying that your family aren't welcome in the area, Jake has basically declared the Olympic Peninsula a no-vampire zone."

"But…"

I tried to interrupt, but Katherine continued patiently and without a hint of resentment. "Jake's an alpha, and now that he's made his position clear, he can't afford to be wishy-washy. You can bet that as far as his pack is concerned, no vampires are welcome right now and that includes me."

"No, Katherine," I protested. "Jake never said that you had to go anywhere, that's not what he wants. He knows how much we owe you." I could already feel my eyes stinging. "Please, don't think that. Jake doesn't want to send you away. He really likes you."

Her expression became more serious. "Don't worry, Nessie. I'm well aware that this isn't personal. I know that Jake doesn't want to persecute me; any more that he wants to upset you by driving me away. But the fact is that it will look bad if he's seen to make favourites, letting some vampires stay just because he likes them.

"My continued presence in the area would create confusion and uncertainty, and could even start to undermine his authority within the pack. It might put you in a difficult position too. That's why I have to go. Jake's hands are tied, and I don't want to make his life even more complicated than it already is. It would be much easier for everyone if I left."

"No…" I replied stubbornly. "No, it's not like that…"

"Please, try to understand, Nessie." She reasoned. "I have to leave Washington. I know that Jake hasn't asked me to, but I can guarantee that he'll be relieved if I do. This way no one will get hurt. This situation needs to be calmed, not escalated, and if I stick around there's always a chance of someone getting hurt.

"What if I crossed the path of a young wolf, while I was hunting in the forest? Would they think before they attacked? Someone would probably end up dead. How would that make Jake feel? How would it make _you_ feel? It's not fair to put anyone in that position. You must know what I'm saying is true."

In my heart I knew that she was right, but that didn't make her words any easier to hear. I blinked miserably.

"But… but, where will you go?"

"I'm not quite sure," she speculated. "I'll probably head north. Maybe Canada." She saw my dismay and smiled bracingly. "Don't worry, it'll be fine." When I didn't look convinced, she tried harder to reassure me. "Come on, Nessie. Give me some credit; I've done this a thousand times. And we both knew that I wasn't going to say in Washington forever."

"I know. I just hate forcing you to leave so soon."

"Hey, it's ok. No one's forcing me. It's just the right time, that's all. And anyway, I've had a really nice stay here, so I need to stop slacking and move on. You know, get a job… do what people do..."

"But, I don't want you to go." The tears finally spilled over. "I'll miss you so much."

Katherine stepped forwards and hugged me. "Aw, Nessie… don't cry. There's nothing to be upset about. We'll always be friends, I just won't be living here, that's all." I sniffed loudly and she patted my back. "Come on, Nessie. Everything's going to be ok. I can feel it. And you never know; this situation may cool off one day."

"I guess so…" I didn't sound very convinced. Katherine smiled sympathetically, and I wiped my cheeks and stepped back, anxiously meeting her gaze. "You won't hate Jake for this… will you?"

"Are you kidding? I could _never_ hate Jacob. He's one of the nicest people I've ever met, and I don't think he was given much choice over this one. Your family put him in an impossible position. He'll understand that I don't hold a grudge, so you've got to promise not to give him a hard time about it, ok?" She saw my reluctant expression and gave a wry smile. "Nessie… I need to hear you _say_ the words."

"Ok, ok… _I won't give Jake a hard time_." I repeated grudgingly and added with defiance. "_There_, are you happy now?"

Katherine rolled her eyes. "Sure."

She went to collect her backpack from the closet and slowly began to gather her things together. I watched her silently as she organised her stuff. She glanced up and asked.

"So, Nessie. What do you think's going to happen with your family?"

"I don't know. I suppose I'll have to figure it out as I go along."

I tried to ignore the knot that formed in my stomach the moment I thought about my family problems. Katherine gave me a long look. I could feel her concern, even though she answered evenly.

"I'll help you in any way I can. Whether or not you want my advice, I hope you know you're always welcome to it."

"Thanks. That's good to know."

I was worried that I was going to tear up again, so I sat down and started to fold the clothes on her bed, preparing them for packing. One by one, I worked through the pile and handed each item to Katherine. As she filled her backpack she seemed lost in thought. When we were finally done, she broke the silence.

"I didn't get on very well with my dad."

"I know." I glanced up cautiously. "I remember what you told me."

Katherine turned away from the bed and crossed over to the window. Her room was on one of the upper floors of the hotel, and she stood for a long moment, staring out over the darkening city. She didn't look at me as she continued.

"Things were always tough between him and me, but they got really bad after my brother was killed. I blamed my father for Bobby's death. For years, I was really angry with him… and if I'm honest, a part of me probably always will be. But recently, I've started to wish that things could have been different between us. I wish that we could have worked things out, or at least called some kind of truce, before I was…" She took a deep breath. "Before, it was too late."

She finally turned to face me. Her dark brows were lowered, and under them her golden eyes glowed. "I wouldn't want you to suffer the same regrets as me, Nessie. I know that things are difficult with your father right now, and they might stay that way for a while. But don't write off the relationship for good. I'm sure he loves you very much; I'm sure your whole family does. And if you give it some time, things will work out between you."

I sighed, and my eyes dropped to my feet. I didn't really know what to say. I was still feeling so angry and confused that a resolution seemed a million years away. Katherine seemed to understand my feelings. She stepped away from the glimmering city lights and came to stand before me. Resting a hand on my shoulder, she continued steadily.

"I know it's a lot to ask right now, but try to keep an open mind if you possibly can. Forever is a long time to hold a grudge against someone you love."

I forced myself to look up. Katherine didn't seem to expect a reply, because she smiled reassuringly and gave my shoulder one last pat, before returning to her backpack.

We didn't speak about my family again. While she finished packing we just chatted about trivial things, such as the quickest route to the bus station. I didn't want to think about my friend going away, but I couldn't quite ignore the dull pain, which lurked in my heart as I watched her preparing to leave.

All too soon Katherine was packed and ready to go, and we were vacating her hotel room. She checked out at the front desk, and we quickly left the building. Night had fallen by the time we stepped onto the damp sidewalk.

Katherine turned to me. "Well, I guess this is it."

Although Katherine had told me she wanted to say goodbye at the hotel, I found it hard to let go and tried to talk her around just one last time.

"Are you _sure_ you don't want me come with you to the bus station?"

"No." She shook her head with a hint of a smile. "Goodbyes are bad enough, without having to make them in a depressing place like that. And if I know you, you'll insist on waiting until my bus arrives, and that could be all night."

"It was worth a try…" I tried to smile and didn't quite succeed. "Have you got everything you need, passport… everything else?"

"Yeah, I'm all set, thanks." She nodded gratefully. "My last IDs were getting a little old, but that guy you fixed me up with really came through. He did a beautiful job; they're the best I've ever seen."

"My family always uses him. Apparently, he likes my mom so we always get preferential treatment."

Thinking about my mother made my throat tighten. How had things got so difficult between us? I was divided from my family, and now my friend was going away too. The tears started to well up _again_. Katherine saw them and quickly hugged me.

"Don't cry, Nessie. We'll see each other again. You know we will. Everything's going to be ok."

I returned her hug and made a tearful confession. "How am I going to manage? I don't know what I'm doing…"

"You'll do great." She met my eyes. I tried to disagree, but she wouldn't let me, she just continued purposefully. "And you'll have Jake to look after you. He's a terrific guy and he'll always back you up."

"I know, but I don't want you to go. I wish it didn't have to be this way."

She replied gently. "As the wife of an alpha, you're going to have to get used to the fact that whether or not you like it, sometimes you won't have a choice. Some things just have to be done. I think this is definitely one of those times."

I blushed in spite of myself. "I'm not the _wife_ of an alpha."

"We both know that Jacob is your destiny." Katherine gave a kind smile, which became teasing when she added. "And before you know it, the rest of the pack will be dumping all their problems onto you too, so you may as well get used to how the responsibility feels."

"You'll really be ok, won't you?"

"Sure." She glanced away. "I'll be fine."

The streetlamp shone behind her, and her eyes were hidden in shadows, making it difficult to see how she was feeling.

"Katherine…?"

She turned and met my concerned gaze with a confident smile. "Well, anyway, I guess we'd better get going, before we're both soaked." She gave me one last hug. "Thank you for being my friend, Nessie. I'll really miss you."

"Sure." I nodded tearfully. "Have a safe trip."

"Just as long as I can avoid any more run-ins with the Volturi, I'm sure I'll be fine." Katherine joked, but the smile didn't quite reach her eyes. She stepped back and said a little shakily. "Oh hell, at times like this I'm glad that I can't cry…" I could hear that her voice was ready to break. She took a steadying breath. "Look after yourself and that wolf of yours. Send him my love and tell him I said 'bye'."

"I will." I nodded firmly. "Take care, Katherine. Promise you'll call me when you arrive."

"I promise."

With these words she smiled and turned away, quickly making her way down the rainy street. I watched her disappear around the corner with a heavy heart.

Once she was out of sight, I turned the other way and went to catch a bus to the university campus. While I stood in the rain, waiting for a bus, I began to question the wisdom of returning my car keys to my father. I had the ominous feeling that this was going to be the first of many occasions when I missed the luxuries that my family provided.

But then I reminded myself, that if this was the price of independence for Jacob and me, then it was a small sacrifice. If my family thought that five minutes standing at a dreary bus stop was going to send me home with my tail between my legs, then they would be sorely mistaken. Even as I stood, I could feel a grim determination building inside me.

I could do this, I wasn't quite sure how, but I was going to manage.

This feeling helped me cope with the sadness of parting with my friend. And although I felt an ache inside, I survived the bus journey without any more tears. I tried to call Jake, but his phone was switched onto voicemail. I really wanted to speak to him and felt slightly disheartened when I couldn't.

By the time I arrived back on campus, all I could think about was taking a hot shower and crawling into bed, preferably armed with a bar of chocolate and my laptop. I wondered idly if any of the old Games Club members were online that night, it felt like an eternity since I'd played Dungeons and Dragons.

When I turned the corner of my building, I caught sight of a familiar figure sitting on the steps outside. A smile broke across my face and I called out his name.

"Jake." He stood up just in time for me to throw myself into his arms and kiss him. "I'm so glad to see you."

Jacob hugged me tightly and nuzzled my throat. "Mm… I missed you, honey." He pulled back and took a good look at my face. "Are you ok? How did it go with Katherine?"

I had to hand it to Jake; he was perceptive. It was either that, or the fact that I'd had a miserable evening was written all over my face.

I shook my head wearily. "She's gone."

Jacob's eyebrows shot up. "_Gone…?_"

I placed my hand on his cheek, showing him a memory of the whole evening. I didn't want to give Jake some garbled version of what had happened. I wanted him to know exactly what Katherine had said, in her own words. I wanted him to know that she didn't feel any kind of resentment.

After a few moments, I lifted my hand away and watched Jacob's reaction. He looked slightly blank, but then his eyes regained their focus. "I… I don't know what to say…"

I sat down on the steps with a defeated sigh. "There's nothing to say. You can see that she wouldn't listen to me when I tried to talk her out of it. She was convinced that she was doing the right thing."

Jake sat down beside me, and rested his elbows on his knees. When he spoke, he sounded regretful. "She was right."

I wanted to disagree with him. I wanted to accuse him and say that he'd driven my friend away, but then I recalled my promise to her and bit my tongue. I wasn't going to blame Jacob for this. It wasn't fair. So I just shrugged and mumbled.

"I guess so…"

"I'm sorry, Nessie. You might not believe me, but this really was the last thing I wanted her to do."

I couldn't quite keep the bitterness out of my voice. "But I suppose it makes it _easier_ that she did."

"I'd be lying if I denied it, but you have to believe that I'm still really sorry. Especially after everything we went through in Alaska. I'll never forget the way she put herself between you and that bastard Felix." He ran his hands through his hair in distraction. "Damn… Nessie. I wish things weren't so complicated."

I looked into Jacob's harassed face and I understood what needed to be done. I reached out and slipped my hand into his. I could feel the tight muscles in his fingers, and I gently rubbed the back of his hands with my thumb, trying to sooth away the tension.

"Hey, it's ok. No one said it was going to be easy. But, it's going to be worth it, don't you think?"

Jake turned his eyes to my face and his expression softened. He lifted my chin so that he could kiss me. When he pulled away, he held my gaze.

"Yeah, I do."

I leaned forward to steal one last kiss, before rising to my feet and smiling. "So, what brought you here tonight?"

He stood up. "I just had a feeling."

"What kind of feeling was that…?" I gave him my best innocent eyes and left the question hanging in the air.

Jake took the bait and I felt his hand circling my waist. "Hm… that's a very good question."

I laughed and caught hold of his hand, before it could wander any further, and led him up the steps of my building. "Well you might as well come in, though I should warn you that Kristy is probably going to be there."

"That's ok. I haven't seen her in a while." He smiled and followed me inside.

I was pleased that he didn't show any resentment at the idea of spending the evening with my friend too. As we walked upstairs I asked.

"What time to you have to leave?"

"Not until tomorrow morning. I saw Leah, and she said that I could stay at her place tonight."

"Great," I replied enthusiastically. "Then I can see you tomorrow too."

Leah and Greg were pretty nice about letting Jake stay in their spare room from time to time. It certainly made it easier when he wanted to visit me in Seattle.

"She said you could stay too… if you want." Jake added casually. I glanced at him in surprise, and he tried to look nonchalant and failed.

"Would you like me too?" I asked shyly.

He finally met my eyes. "You know I would. But if you don't feel comfortable, I don't want to pressure you."

I thought for a moment, as we turned into the corridor. "Ok, just let me pick up some overnight things."

By this point we were standing outside my door, but before I could put the key in the lock, Jake grasped my arm and spun me around to face him. He cupped my face in his hands and stepped closer, so my back was pinned to the door. Lowering his head, he kissed me until I could hardly remember where I was.

By the time I finally pulled away and opened the door to my room I was feeling a little dazed. Kristy was inside, studying at her desk, when we walked in. And when she heard that I was going to stay with Jake for the night, she was restrained enough not to pass comment – although she did manage a knowing smile, which I decided to ignore.

Leah gave me pretty much the identical look when I arrived at her apartment with Jake. She and her boyfriend lived in a modern apartment block not far away. Before I went to put my bag in the guestroom, I tried to thank her for having me over, but she cut me short.

"It's ok." She waved to the guestroom and pulled a face, which wasn't quite as cryptic as it was supposed to be. "Jake already told me what happened in Alaska and all the stuff with your family. I don't blame you for wanting to be with him. He probably needs to be with you too, just to know that you're really alright... call it imprinting."

A dark head popped around the kitchen door and Greg, her boyfriend, appeared. "Did someone say my name?"

He gave Leah a warm smile and her satirical expression instantly disappeared. He came over to shake Jake's hand, and kiss me on the cheek.

"Hey guys, great to see you."

Greg and Leah had been living together for just over a year. He was a sports physiotherapist, and they'd met at work. He was a Native Canadian, from the Kootenai tribe in British Colombia. _Technically_ speaking he was her imprint, but she never called him that, and resented it when anyone else did. She always called Greg her 'boyfriend.' Jake theorised that Leah didn't want to associate the man she loved with anything that had given her so much pain in the past.

Greg was a great guy, and his easy-going presence helped to calm the feelings of stress that were still humming through my system. It was funny that although Greg was a big and strong, and looked quite intimidating, he was a total gentle giant. And he was exactly what Leah needed, because however sharp-tongued she might be, Greg never seemed ruffled by anything she said.

Not that Leah ever unleashed her cutting comments on him. She reserved her most harsh criticism for the members of the wolf pack. When Greg was nearby she was tranquil, and I noticed that she spent most of that evening sitting beside him and playing with his silky ponytail.

I didn't really speak much during dinner, or afterwards, when everyone was relaxing in the living room. My thoughts constantly returned to Katherine. I couldn't help wondering where she was planning to go, and what she was going to do when she got there. Sadness lurked at the back of my mind, and I was relieved when it was finally time for bed and I no longer had to be social.

I was the last to use the bathroom, and by the time I slipped into the guestroom, the whole apartment was quiet. I found Jake lying half-asleep in the double bed. He had drawn the blinds, and the only light in the room was shining from the small bedside lamp.

I closed the door and lingered for a moment, in a state of mild uncertainty. My relationship with Jake had unquestionably moved into a new phase, but it was all so recent that I still felt slightly unsure of how to behave. I crept quietly across the room, trying hard not to disturb him, and gently pulled back the bedcovers.

"Hey, sweetheart," Jake opened his eyes and gave me a sleepy smile, as I climbed in beside him.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't, I was only resting."

He leaned over and switched off the lamp. I quickly climbed under the covers and lay down beside him. I stayed still, lying flat on my back, staring at the darkened ceiling for a couple of minutes, until I heard a low chuckle beside me. Jake reached out and gently brushed my arm.

"Are you going to come here? Or do you want me over there?"

I turned my head and caught sight of Jacob's teasing smile. I instantly relaxed and scooted over to lie beside him. I wiggled closer to his warm body, resting my head on his shoulder and wrapping my arm around his bare torso. I hooked my leg over his calf, as he wound his arm around my waist. I wondered if he was going to make a move, but he just held me close and kissed my head.

"You must be exhausted, you haven't had a break." he murmured kindly.

I should have known that Jake would instantly pick up on my mood. He knew that the last few weeks had been completely draining, and that that day had been no exception. No wonder he didn't seem interested in pulling a big seduction. I nestled closer.

"I'm ok." I lied.

"How do you feel about Katherine leaving?"

A lump formed in my throat. "I wish she could stay."

Jake sighed. "I know. I wish she could too… I know she means a lot to you."

I nodded silently and pictured my friend, sitting in a cold bus station. Or maybe she was already gone. Cuddling closer, I hid my face in his shoulder and tried not to cry. I seemed to be having my most tearful day _ever_. Jake wrapped his other arm around me and began to stroke my hair.

"I'm sorry, honey."

"It's not your fault, Jake." My words were muffled by this shoulder.

"I just wish that I could make things better for you." He sounded frustrated.

I raised my head. Even in the darkness, I could clearly see his face. "You make _everything_ better for me, Jake. I couldn't be happy without you."

A relieved smile spread across his face, and he leaned over to kiss me. I slipped my arm around his neck, pulling him closer, while gently sweeping my tongue across his lower lip. I could feel the electricity sparking between us as Jacob's hold on me tightened. A moment later, he drew back guiltily.

"I should probably let you get some sleep..."

Jake thought I was completely worn out, but he was taking 'being noble' to ridiculous lengths. I refused to weaken my hold and replied with the voice of authority.

"Well, did you know that it's been _scientifically _proven that sleep is overrated…?"

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Hello again... hope you've had a good month. Typically, because I had longer than usual to prepare this chapter, I ended up doing most of the editing at the last minute! So if you spot any typos, feel free to drop me a line :) **

**Apart from that, I am feeling much calmer (I've even grown accustomed to my strange yellow curtains) so I will return to my fortnightly postings until further notice :)**

**I just have to say how much I appreciated all those really nice messages after I posted chapter 59. They were amazingly kind, and made me feel really encouraged, so thank you very much. And an extra thanks to the guest reviewers and UGGS, because** **I couldn't PM you. I loved reading your comments. Oh, and before I forget... lei sun, I hope you enjoyed your birthday :)**

**Anyway, thanks for reading, have a lovely fortnight.**

**Mad :)**


	61. Nessie, the economist

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

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><p><strong>Thank you to willowbae, my wonderful beta :)<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 61.<strong>

**Nessie – the economist**

Jacob dropped me off at college the next morning, half an hour before my last exams were due to start. He was leaving Seattle straight afterwards and driving back to Forks. Steve, his apprentice, had been managing the garage while Jake was in Alaska, and it seemed that things had become a little chaotic. Jake needed to return to work and start putting everything back in order.

I felt very guilty that Jake had so much to do, since it was my fault that he'd had to leave Steve unsupervised in the first place, but when I tried to apologise he just cut me short and told me not to worry about it.

We had already had a fond and lengthy farewell at Leah's apartment, so when Jake parked the car, I was determined to stay calm and resist the temptation to be clingy. If I wanted to remain at college, I had to learn to spend time away from Jake, just as I had before the attack. I turned to say a brief goodbye and was surprised when he reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet.

"Before you go, you should take this." He handed me a folded stack of bills.

I stared blankly at the cash in my hand. "What's this for?"

"It'll keep you going for the next few days. At the weekend we can work out something more practical." He leaned forward and gave me a tender kiss. "Good luck, you'll do great. I'll call you later and you can tell me how it went."

Jacob seemed to think that the matter of the money was decided, and proceeded to wait patiently for me to say goodbye and go. Unfortunately, that wasn't about to happen. I held out the cash.

"I can't accept this."

He looked slightly confused. "Why not?"

I stared at him in disbelief. "Geez Jake, I didn't refuse to take money from my family, just so I could freeload off you. What kind of person do you think I am?"

A stubborn frown clouded his face. "I think that you're the kind of person who destroyed their credit cards three days ago, and has probably already spent all the cash that was in their wallet. So unless you're about to access your family's bank accounts some other way, which I know you don't want to do, then I think you're the kind of person who is going to be completely broke by the end of the day."

In truth, I hadn't given much thought to my new financial circumstances. Having spent a lifetime being able to access large amounts of cash whenever I needed it, I was not in the habit of worrying about money. I was shocked to realise that Jake was right, and it finally occurred to me that I might not even have enough money to buy lunch, let alone a week's worth of groceries.

Unfortunately, instead of feeling grateful for Jake's timely intervention, I just felt stupid for not having thought of it sooner. My natural contrariness made me reluctant to admit that he was right, and I fell into a sullen silence. Jacob noticed the change in my mood and his tone softened.

"You're my girlfriend, Nessie, and I love you. It's my job to look after you. So please, just take the money and don't worry about it. I won't sleep a wink unless you do."

"It just doesn't seem right…" I replied uncertainly.

"Please, honey," he pleaded. "You've already made enough sacrifices for me. I don't think I can take it if you won't let me help you now."

I didn't know what to say. Jake looked uncharacteristically stressed and I realised that I didn't exactly have a lot of options, so I nodded quietly.

"Ok, fine. I'll take the money." I gave him a cautious smile and shoved the money into my pocket. "Thanks."

He smiled and hugged me. "Thank you." I could hear the relief in his voice.

"But it's only a loan, Jake. I'm going to pay you back."

"That's ok, don't worry about it…"

I was well aware that Jacob didn't want anything from me, and this wasn't the time for an argument, but I was determined to prove him wrong. I knew that Jacob made good money at the garage, but most of it was sucked up by Billy's medical bills. Jake didn't exactly have a lot of spare cash floating around, and I wasn't going to make a habit of leeching onto him for money. I needed to stand on my own two feet and show a bit of independence.

This conversation made me understand that I really needed to get my act together and find a way to support myself until the end of the summer term, when I would leave college and look for a full time job. I was still mulling over my options as I walked into the exam room. I managed to concentrate during my tests, but only just.

After my exams I went to meet Kristy for a coffee – which I guiltily paid for with Jake's money. She told me that Oliver was coming too, and he was bringing his new girlfriend with him. This piece of news was enough to distract me from the dire state of my finances.

"Oliver has a _girlfriend?_" I repeated in amazement and began plying her with questions. "When did this happen? Who is she? Where did they meet?"

Kristy leaned her curly head forward and went into 'gossip' mode.

"Her name's Veronica. They met on a Dungeons and Dragons forum a couple of months ago, but they finally got together during study week. So it looks like you're not the only girl on the planet who likes gaming, Nessie." She teased.

"I knew it! I _knew_ there had to be others." I exclaimed triumphantly. "So, what's she like? Have you met her?"

"Yeah, I met her last weekend, she's kind of shy, but really nice and Oliver is crazy about her. They're _so_ cute together."

"Wow…" I let this exciting piece of news sink in.

Oliver had a girlfriend!

I tried to think of how many of my efforts to set him up had failed. And now, all by himself, he had found a girlfriend. I was absolutely thrilled, but I had to admit that my trip to Alaska was starting to make me feel like Rip Van Winkle, everything in my life seemed to have dramatically transformed in my absence.

Oliver arrived with his new girlfriend soon after and bashfully made the introductions. We spent a couple of hours chatting over coffee. Kristy was right; Veronica was a really nice girl. She and Oliver made a great couple and seemed to have a lot in common. She had light brown hair and glasses, and was a little shy at first, but quickly relaxed. Her enthusiasm for gaming made her easy to talk to and she became quite verbose on the subject.

It was a nice afternoon, but during the conversation I had the strangest feeling of disconnection. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Although I had sat in that coffee shop with Oliver and Kristy a hundred times before, nothing seemed familiar, and it made me uneasy.

While we talked, my mind turned over and over, trying to figure out what was wrong. I finally realised that it had nothing to do with my friends, or my surroundings. They hadn't changed. It was me. Since the last time we'd met for coffee, I had been through a number of life-altering experiences and I wasn't the same girl. I was seeing the world through new eyes, and it was obviously going to take some getting used to.

"Are you ok, Nessie?" Kristy's voice interrupted my thoughts.

I glanced up and I realised that I hadn't been listening to the conversation for the last few minutes.

"I'm sorry, my mind was wandering."

Kristy gave me a knowing look. "Hm… I can't _imagine_ what you were thinking about." She then smiled a little too innocently. "How _is_ Jake, by the way?"

I refused to take the bait. "He's great, thank you."

"I'll just _bet_ he is…"

Oliver and Veronica pretended not to notice Kristy's sledgehammer innuendos, and I quickly changed the subject.

"Actually, I was thinking about looking for work."

There was a stunned silence, which was eventually broken by Kristy. "Why…?"

"Why do you think?" I grumbled, seeing the baffled looks that Oliver and Kristy exchanged. "Because I need the money."

Kristy's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Since when does 'Diamond' Nessie Cullen need money?"

"What are you talking about? Nobody calls me that." I bristled.

"Maybe not to your face…"

Oliver cut through our squabble. "Are you serious, Nessie?" He looked concerned. "Do you really need the money?"

"Yeah." I replied self-consciously. "I really do."

The tone of my voice seemed to sober Kristy. She frowned. "What happened?"

"Just boring family stuff…" I gave a vague shrug. "I just kind of said that I'd be supporting myself for a while."

"Uh, wow… ok…"

No one seemed to know quite what to say, I could tell that they were curious, but were too tactful to question me further. Although my friends knew my grandpa, I didn't really discuss the rest of my family with them. They all believed that I had wealthy adoptive parents who spent most of their time working overseas. The awkward silence was broken by Oliver.

"So… what kind of job do you want?"

"I don't know." I considered the idea. "I'm not sure I can afford to be too fussy right now. As long as the hours work around my classes, I don't really mind. My college fees are paid up until the end of the year, so all I need is to find enough money for my day-to-day expenses."

Veronica suddenly spoke up. "I work part-time in a book store. One of the guys just quit. I could ask my manager if he's looking for a replacement… if you'd like me to."

"That would be amazing," I nodded gratefully. "Are you sure you don't mind?"

"No, it's no problem. I'll ask him when I go in tomorrow." She replied with a shy smile, while Oliver grinned proudly at her side.

Veronica's offer seemed like it might have potential, but I realised that I needed to make some quick money if I was going to meet my most pressing financial needs.

Later that evening I had some more time to ponder the problem. Kristy had gone out to a party, and I had our room to myself. While I was eating my dinner, it occurred to me that the most financially astute people of my acquaintance were all vampires. I realised that asking my family for advice might be rather counterproductive, since I was supposed to be proving my independence from them. But they weren't the only vampires I knew.

Katherine would have been a good person to ask, she'd been supporting herself for years, but I was still waiting for her to call. The only other vampire I could think of, who had a stronger allegiance to me than to my family, was Leo. Something told me that if anyone knew a way to make some quick cash, it would be him.

I had his number in San Francisco. I didn't know if he would be there, but I thought it would be worth a try. I felt a little shy about contacting him, I had never called Leo at home before, and I dialled before I could lose my nerve. The phone was answered in a couple of rings.

"Hello?" Leo's familiar voice drawled down the line.

"Hi, Leo… its Nessie."

"Hey, Red." I could hear him smiling. "So, I guess you realised that you couldn't live without me, huh? I knew it wouldn't take you long."

I hadn't understood how much I'd missed Leo's company, until I heard the sound of his voice. I instantly cheered up and all my anxiety evaporated.

"How was your journey home?" I asked. "Did it go smoothly?"

"Sure. No Volturi, so it was a piece of cake. How about you?"

"The journey was fine." I took a deep breath. "But I kind of had an argument with my family when I got back..."

"Really? What happened?"

I proceeded to tell Leo all about fight with my parents. I tried to be as honest as possible and gave him a fairly detailed account of what happened. As always, he was a sympathetic listener, and gave some useful insight. He laughed out loud when I said that I'd threatened to borrow Jacob's motorcycle.

"I wish I'd seen your dad's face when you told him _that_." He snorted. "I've got to hand it to you, kid, when you rebel, you do it properly."

When I finished my story, I told him my plans, and asked if he had any suggestions for how I could earn some money. Without hesitation, Leo offered to send me some cash. I was touched by his generosity, but politely refused the offer.

"That's really nice of you. But Jake wouldn't like it if I took money from anyone but him."

Leo needed no further explanation. "That's fine, I don't want to step on his toes, but know that the offer still stands if you ever change your mind. And if I'm out of town, just call Hal, he'll send you whatever you want on my behalf. He won't snitch to your family either, if I ask him to keep it private."

"Thanks Leo, I appreciate it. But, I guess I was really just wondering if you knew the best way I could earn some easy money."

"Hm…" He thought for a moment. "Honestly, I don't know if I can offer any good suggestions. I doubt my line of work would really be your scene. I make most of my cash on bounty hunts. You know, resolving blood feuds and other territorial crap. Not to mention how much some vampires will pay to have a feral newborn removed from their territory, without bringing in outsiders."

By 'outsiders', I could only assume that Leo was referring to the Volturi.

"Whatever you do," he continued helpfully. "Don't try Vegas right now. The war's kicked off again. You do _not_ want to get caught in the middle of that bloodbath."

I was interested in this news, and grateful for the warning. It was a well-known fact that with all that easy money and fresh blood that Las Vegas attracted, it was heavily contested territory. Any vampire that wanted to count cards, or feed there, could only do so with the permission of the ruling coven. And, according to Leo, the battle to be the ruling coven had just exploded again.

Leo's voice suddenly cut through my thoughts. "I don't understand why you don't just sell some of your stuff? I mean, when I was in New Hampshire your family bought you expensive gifts all the time. You must be sitting on a goldmine."

"Oh my God, I can't believe I didn't think of that before," I exclaimed. "Leo, you're a genius!"

This made him laugh. "That's what I've been telling you for _months_."

We talked for a little longer. Leo told me that he was going away for a while. He said that if I ever needed to reach him, I could leave a message with Hal, who would pass it straight on to him.

I was tempted to tell Leo that Katherine had gone away too, but in the end I kept my mouth shut. She'd claimed that Leo wanted nothing more to do with her, and this seemed to be confirmed by the fact that he didn't mention her once, not even in passing. He certainly didn't enquire how she was doing, which made me feel awkward at the thought of volunteering any information.

I was sorry when our conversation finally ended. Leo made me promise to tell him if I ever needed anything, and sounded serious when he added.

"I know it's really none of my business, but I care about you, Red, so I'm going to say it anyway. I understand that you don't want to load Jake with your problems, but don't be too proud to ask him for help. He loves you and he doesn't see you as a burden. He'll just be glad to know that you'll turn to him. It will probably make him feel needed. So, try to remember that, ok."

I considered his words. "Ok, I will. I promise."

"Good." He replied briskly. "Now try to take care, and don't forget to say 'hi' to Jake for me. I'll call you soon to check how you're doing."

"Ok, I'll speak to you then. Look after yourself, Leo."

"Don't worry." His gentle laugh held a note of cynicism. "I've told you before, I always do."

After one last warning to stay away from motorcycles, Leo hung up the phone and I hurried to make an inventory of all my valuables.

Leo was right; I'd spent a lifetime being lavished with expensive gifts. Kristy's 'Diamond' nickname wasn't quite so far off. I owned a number of very valuable items, including costly pieces of jewellery. The only problem was that most of them were not in my possession. They were locked away in various vaults, under the watchful eyes of my family. There was no way to access them without contacting my parents.

The only valuable piece of jewellery which I actually had with me was my charm bracelet. The heart-shaped diamond had to be worth a small fortune. But it was unthinkable that I would part with it. Even if I hadn't been personally attached, I would never dream of selling a family heirloom. The diamond had belonged to Grandma Masen, and I couldn't imagine how hurt my dad would feel if I was heartless enough to sell it.

I had a very nice watch, which Aunt Rose had given me, but I couldn't bear to part with that either. I could always sell some clothes, my stereo equipment, my surf board and a number of other items, which were all expensive, but would be likely to lose a lot of their value on resale. I preferred to leave them as a last resort.

I had a sudden moment of inspiration, and remembered the vintage Cartier powder compact sitting in my dresser at Grandpa's house. It stayed there most of the time; I didn't use it very often, because it was too fancy except for the most special of occasions. Aunt Alice had bought it at auction for my tenth birthday for over six thousand dollars. It was a beautiful piece of 1920s objet d'art, made of 18carat gold and set with tiny diamonds.

I was reluctant at the idea of selling it, but on the upside, it wasn't a family heirloom and I was desperate.

If I could make the money that Jake had given me last for a couple of weeks, I could sell the compact and that would keep me going, and if I got a job too, I'd be set for months.

It was no surprise that I was in a good mood when Jake called me that night. I told him about my conversation with Leo, and then described my new moneymaking scheme. I was surprised when my idea was greeted with a heavy silence.

"Jake, is there something wrong?"

He finally answered in a grim voice. "Is that a serious question?"

I felt slightly confused. "Yes. What's wrong?"

"So you can't see why I might have a problem with your plan?"

That was a loaded question if ever I'd heard one.

I frowned impatiently. "No, to be honest, I can't. I thought that you'd be pleased that I _had_ a plan." And a pretty decent one at that.

"You've got to be kidding me." Jacob sounded shocked. "You thought I'd be _pleased_ if you turned your life into a goddamn yard sale?"

Great, this was just what I needed, a morally outraged boyfriend ruining all my plans.

"Geez, Jake." I rolled my eyes. "Rain on my parade, why don't you…?"

"This isn't funny, Nessie." Jake huffed angrily.

My patience snapped. "Do I sound like I'm laughing? Because if you've got a better idea, then I'd love to hear it."

Jake hesitated for a moment, probably trying to control his temper, because he sounded calmer when he finally answered me.

"I can support you, honey," he said simply.

That was, quite possibly, the worst plan in the history of the world. But, however much I wanted to dismiss it, I realised that I would have to tread carefully. I was crossing a minefield littered with Jacob's imprinted alpha wolf feelings of protectiveness, stubbornness and pride, and any of them could go off at the slightest touch. At the same time, I wasn't prepared to lie. I took a deep breath and answered in my most soothing tone.

"I know that you want to look after me Jake, but I would rather do it this way."

"How can you say that?" He sounded upset. "How can you say that you would rather sell your belongings, than accept help from me?"

Damn, I had already hurt Jake's feelings, which was the last thing I wanted to do. I needed to make it right, but I wasn't sure what to say. Leo's parting words suddenly ran through my mind. Jacob needed to know that I would turn to him.

"I would take help from you, Jake," I replied slowly, trying to think before I spoke. "You're the first person I turn to when I'm in trouble. But, you've got enough financial responsibilities. And all my logic tells me that it would be insane to take money from you, when I can just as easily sell an expensive trinket that I never use and don't need. Come on, Jacob," I added persuasively. "Don't make me feel bad, just for your pride…"

He remained quiet for a moment, before sighing. "Ok… I don't want to argue with you. Especially since I know you're going to do it anyway. But you've got to _promise_ me that you won't sell anything without telling me first, ok?"

I could tell that Jake needed this. He would go crazy if he thought that I was peddling my possessions behind his back. I just felt relieved that this was all he was demanding, and instantly agreed to his terms.

"Alright. I swear I won't do anything without talking to you first."

"Ok." Jacob sounded more resigned than pleased. "It's a deal."

I smiled. "You won't regret this, Jake."

"I already do."

But I didn't. I was getting my first taste of freedom, and even if there was a rocky road ahead, I was heartened to discover that I had no desire to turn back.

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Thank you for the new list additions and reviews, and an extra thank you to the people I couldn't PM (Olivia, it's great to hear from you, very glad you're well. Rebecca, thanks for the lovely message, and I really appreciate you passing the story on. And 'Guest' reviewer, thank you and I completely agree with your take on the 'everyone getting on really well' fics.)**

**Anyway, that's about all I can think of to say this week, except wishing everyone a very Happy Easter with lots of chocolate eggs! **

**Thanks for reading, have a lovely fortnight. I'll post again in two weeks.**

**Mad ****:) **


	62. Leo, other people's problems

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

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><p><strong>Thank you to willowbae, my lovely beta, for all her help:)<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 62.<strong>

**Leo – other people's problems**

It was late April when I reached Nebraska. I had been really busy since leaving Anchorage. After spending a week in San Francisco with Hal, I travelled east to Louisiana, to pay off a debt to an old acquaintance, Paul.

He was still angry about my fling with his sister, but I thought that he could probably be brought round. My trusty instincts were right. After giving me a frosty reception, Paul quickly thawed and agreed to call it quits, if I would track a pair of young vampires who'd caused trouble on his turf. I happily accepted his terms, and spent the next couple of weeks on a chase that led me across three states.

I would have preferred a longer trail – I had plenty of time to kill – but unfortunately the matter was resolved in Oklahoma, and I was left at a loose end again. I filled a few days hanging out with some friends whose territory ran along the Kansas border, before setting out on a trail which was purely personal.

It wasn't the easiest trail that I'd ever taken, but then again, the girl I was following was clever and experienced, and knew how to disappear when she wanted to. I had to assume that she did want to disappear, because no one had heard from her in weeks, and I had my work cut out for me in tracking her down.

I finally caught up with her in Lincoln. I could see why she had chosen to stay in the city. She liked to hunt unobtrusively, and the place didn't have a heavy vampire presence or a powerful local coven. I found her staying in a small motel and waited until after sunset before I paid a visit.

I rang the doorbell and, within seconds, the door was opened by a sexy brunette dressed in jeans and a tight sweater. She caught sight of me and her maroon eyes widened in surprise. I braced my arm on the doorframe.

"Hey sweetheart, did you miss me?"

Her mouth twisted into a sardonic smile. "And here was I, expecting a Jehovah's Witness."

Althea folded her arms and nonchalantly rested her shoulder against the door, looking me up and down. I stood up to my full height and grinned.

"How do you know I haven't converted?"

She gave a short laugh. "You got me there. I guess you always were unpredictable."

"So…" I gave her my most winning smile. "Are you going to invite me in? Or do you want to talk religion on the doorstep?"

"I'm sorry." She pushed herself off the door and stepped back. "The sudden exposure to your dazzling charm made me forget my manners."

"Don't worry," I reassured her. "It happens to everyone."

She swung the door open with a languid movement, inviting me in. I strolled into her room and glanced around. The interior was faded, but clean, and a few personal items were scattered around the room. I lifted my backpack off my shoulder, dropping it at my feet. Althea closed the door behind us, and before I knew it, she had crossed the room and put her arms around me in a tight hug. I heard her muffled voice, speaking into my chest.

"It's really good to see you, Leo."

I squeezed her back. "It's great to see you too. It's been a while."

"It has." She sounded surprisingly emotional.

I caught hold of her shoulders and gently held her away from me, so that I could take a good look at her. Althea was as beautiful as ever, dark and luscious, with soft lips, long black lashes, and waves of glossy brown hair sweeping over her shoulders. But something in her expression was different. She looked troubled. I could see it in her eyes.

Her gaze fell under my scrutiny and she took a step away, smoothly extricating herself from my hold. Crossing the room, she switched on the bedside lamp and casually glanced over her shoulder.

"So, Leo, what brings you to this neck of the woods? I take it you're passing through."

I hesitated and suddenly found it difficult to meet her gaze. I had been building up to this conversation for days, it needed to be had, but that didn't make it any easier to start.

"Um… not exactly." I sounded awkward, even to myself. "No one knew where you were, so I tracked you here. I needed to tell you something, Thea, and I had no other way of getting in touch."

This caught her attention and she turned to me with curiosity. "What is it, what's going on?"

"I guess you heard about John?"

I was fairly sure that Althea already knew he was dead. Johnny was a popular guy, and the news of his murder had circulated like wildfire. My instincts were correct; Althea tensed up and gave a brief nod.

"Sure, I heard." She lifted her chin with a touch of defiance. "Didn't everyone?"

I shrugged lightly, ignoring her challenge. "I guess so, but I thought that you might like to know what was done about it."

"I wouldn't have assumed that anything was done about it." Althea attempted indifference, but I caught the edge of pain in her voice.

"Come on, you know there was no way Brandon was going to let it go, Johnny was like a brother to him."

"Well, that's very touching," she folded her arms over her chest. "But why are you telling me?"

I didn't think that towering over Althea was going to make her feel any less defensive, so I moved to the edge of the bed and sat down. I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees, and gave her a long look.

"I think you know why…"

She faltered for a second, and turned her head away dismissively. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Watching her cling to her fragile shield filled me with a rush of compassion. I reached out and took her hand in a firm hold.

"Do you really want me to _say_ the words, Thea?"

Althea gave a small start and her eyes flashed to mine with a sudden look of comprehension. For a second, I thought she was going to go for a denial, but instead she whispered.

"_How…?_ How did you know? Did someone tell you?"

I could hear the shame and vulnerability in her shaking voice, and I quickly tried to reassure her.

"No one had to tell me. I worked it out on my own."

I could have added that it was probably easier for me to recognise the signs than anyone else, but I had no desire to open _that_ can of worms. Althea looked embarrassed and sat down beside me, still clutching my hand. She gave a defeated sigh.

"I had no idea that it was so obvious, though it sometimes felt as if was written all over my face, I still believed that I'd done a pretty good job of hiding it. I guess I was kidding myself…" Her mouth twisted into a self-mocking smile. "This must seem pretty funny to everyone, huh?"

"No." I squeezed her hand. "No, sweetheart, no one else knows. Just me."

"Well, that's something…" She looked more weary than relieved, and threw me a tentative glance. "How did you work it out?"

"I don't know." I evaded. "I just did."

Althea briefly closed her eyes, trying to gather herself together. We sat for a minute in silence, until she exhaled and looked up. She slowly placed her other hand in mine and turned to me.

"You know, in all these years, I've never spoken about it to anyone. Not once…"

"You don't have to now… I'm not here to cross-examine you."

Althea stared at our joined hands and gave small sigh. "No, it's ok. It's actually a nice being able to tell someone that I… I _loved_ John. I loved him more than anyone…"

"I know." I replied quietly. "That's why I came here, Thea. I had to tell you the score was settled. I didn't want you going out looking for vengeance and getting yourself killed."

"Thanks, that's decent of you, Leo. But, however much I wanted to, I couldn't seek revenge," she said bitterly. "I denied myself the right to grieve publicly by spending so many years pretending that I was indifferent to him. I mean, it's ironic really, any dumb bimbo who spent five minutes with Johnny could weep and wail about his tragic death, but I loved him for years and I couldn't even admit that it bothered me when he was killed."

"I guess some things aren't that simple."

Althea nodded. "You can say that again. You know, when Dominica told me about it, she said, 'I know that John's death won't mean that much to you, but you have to understand, the rest of us are really cut up about it.'"

She caught her breath and her expression was harrowed. "_Won't mean that much…!_ I may have accepted how things stood between us, but when I heard the news, I still felt like someone had just reached into my chest and ripped out my heart!"

For a moment, Althea's voice was suspended by grief. I didn't try to say anything, it seemed that the thing she needed the most was just to be allowed to speak freely. She clenched my hand and glanced up, saying more steadily.

"So it's true, the score was settled?"

"Yeah, they paid for what they did to John." And for what they did to Kathy, and Jake, and little Red.

"Who made them pay?"

"A few of us…"

"Good." I could hear the grim satisfaction in her voice. I was unwilling to go into details, but Althea was still curious. "Who were they Leo? Who killed Johnny?"

I gave her long look. "Do you trust me?"

Her dark eyes narrowed. "With my life."

I tightened my hold on her hands. "Then would you believe me, if I said that it would be safer if I didn't tell you?"

"Safer for me, or you?"

"Safer for both of us."

Brandon knew how John's death had been avenged, I had told both him and Hal about our encounter with the Volturi, but they were the only ones I'd spoken to. I'd agreed with Jake, Kathy and Nessie that it would be better not to go around blabbing that we had killed four members of the Volturi guard.

Althea digested my words and shook her head in disbelief. "Damn… they must have been a really powerful coven."

"Yeah, they were, so let's just leave it at that, shall we?"

Althea must have considered that I was talking about the Volturi, but she was sensible enough not to say the words. The less she _officially_ knew the better.

"Ok." She agreed reluctantly. "Just tell me one thing…"

"What do you want to know?"

"Did you give them a slow death?" Her eyes glowed with a feral vengeance. "Did they suffer?"

I remembered the bonfire by the riverbank and shrugged. "We didn't have time to draw it out, too much was at stake."

Violent territorial feuds and retributions were a way of life for many vampires. Torture was commonplace, and I was well aware that Althea would have been hoping for something a little more colourful than what I'd just described.

Over the years I'd heard plenty of vampires bragging about their most vicious fights. They were usually lying. But Althea knew me well enough to know that although it hadn't been particularly gruesome, the job had actually been done. She lifted my hand to her mouth and pressed a soft kiss onto my knuckles.

"Thank you, Leo. Thank you very much." She closed her eyes and rested her forehead on our joined hands. "I swear to you, I won't forget this…"

I put my free arm around her shoulders and dropped a kiss onto her dark hair. "You don't owe me, Thea. I had my own score to settle."

"That makes no difference." She raised her chin. "You've got my loyalty, whether or not you want it."

I was touched by Althea's stubborn determination, and pulled back with a light smile. "Ok, fine. But you'd better remember your promise the next time I get into trouble…"

She picked up on the change in mood and smiled back. "You're always in trouble, Leo."

"Well, I guess that means that you're going to be pretty busy."

Somehow, this small exchange cleared the air, and Althea looked a little happier than she had before.

When she enquired how long I was staying in town, I told her that I planned to stick around for a couple of days. She asked where I was staying. I said I might get a room at the motel, and she invited me to stay with her instead.

"I'd like the company," she admitted. "I've been avoiding everyone since John… I needed some time alone, and I hated having to pretend that I was ok."

"People have been asking about you, sweetheart. No one's heard from you in a while, and they said your cell has been switched off."

I tried not to sound as concerned as I felt, but Althea wasn't fooled.

"Don't worry, I'll make an appearance soon, I promise. After all, there are enough reclusive nomads out there, without me adding to their numbers."

I accepted her offer to stay and quickly made myself at home. I unpacked my stuff and laid it out, all over the floor, and sorted through what needed to be cleaned or repaired. Althea surveyed the muddy chaos that I'd created, and made some cryptic remark about not missing army life.

When that job was done, I took a shower, washing off all the travel grit with Althea's best cinnamon soap, strawberry shower gel and peppermint shampoo. They weren't an ideal combination, but all of my shower gel had run out. After I dried off, I pulled on some clean shorts and jeans, and returned to the bedroom. Althea was reclining on the bed, reading a magazine. The second I appeared, she pulled a face.

"Geez, Leo," she choked. "How much of that stuff did you use? You smell like you fell into a jar of candy."

"I don't know why you're complaining, you chose the stuff."

"Yeah, and I was hoping that there would be some left for me."

I crawled onto the bed beside her, and lay down on my back and stared at the ceiling. She followed suit, tossing the magazine aside and rolling onto her back too. I poked her leg with my foot.

"I want you to know. Just because I'm on your bed, doesn't mean I'm going to put out."

Althea laughed and prodded my chest. "Who are you, and what have you done with Leo?"

I was pleased to hear some of her natural cheerfulness returning. She relaxed and stretched out beside me, while I got comfortable, propping up my head and shoulders with pillows, and crossing my ankles. As we lay side by side, I mulled over what I knew of Althea's romantic history and a question suddenly occurred to me.

"Hey, Thea, did you and John ever…?"

"No," she replied immediately. "I could have, I mean, in the early days he was pretty interested, but I never said 'yes.' And eventually he gave up trying." She sounded frustrated and angry.

I glanced in her direction, wanting to console her. "He had a lot of respect for you, you know."

"Yeah," she snorted. "That was probably because I said 'no'. But respect isn't the same thing as love."

"No, it isn't," I replied thoughtfully. "But are you saying that you were in love with any of the other guys you slept with?"

"No, I wasn't in love any of you. But I didn't want you to love me either. It was a fair exchange for pleasure. There were no misunderstandings and no one got hurt. It was different with Johnny. When we first met, I knew right away that I loved him, and I hoped that he would return my feelings. It didn't take me long to realise that it was never going to happen. John was never going to give a damn about me, so it would have been a little too masochistic to get involved. I wasn't about to lay my heart at his feet, just so he could trample all over it."

I considered her words, and had to admit that Althea had done the right thing. The only thing that Johnny had really cared about was the coven. He wasn't interested in leadership, but he was a natural enforcer, and worked well with Brandon, keeping their coven strong and protecting their territory. He would have used Althea if she'd given him the chance, and wouldn't have given it a second thought.

My mind drifted to Kathy. I didn't try to stop it. I had learned from previous experience that pretending she didn't exist didn't make things any easier. It was a simple fact that, whatever my head thought, my heart just couldn't accept that she wasn't mine and it refused to let go. I missed her every day and I always would, and there was no getting away from it. But in the long run, it was better to admit my feelings than try to bury them. It made it easier to stay sane.

As I lay beside Althea, it occurred to me that her experience wasn't so different from mine. If Kathy had known that I loved her, she might have behaved with more consideration than someone like Johnny, but she would still have rejected me. So I kept up the illusion of indifference, because neither my heart, nor my pride, could have handled her knowing how I felt. And when Althea talked about her relationship with John, it was strangely reassuring to realise that I wasn't the only person who had been deemed not good enough by the person they wanted.

Of course, Althea had never wronged Johnny the way that I had Katherine, and didn't deserve to be overlooked. But now the biggest difference between our respective situations was that Johnny was dead, and Althea had no comfort, but Kathy was alive and I could still gain solace from that knowledge.

I had the consolation of imagining her living in Seattle, spending time with her friends, and finding a nice home and job she enjoyed. Katherine wasn't alone and she had a real chance at happiness. Since leaving Alaska, I'd had to remind myself of this fact a hundred times a day. It helped to ease the cold ache in my heart. If I was being completely honest, it was the only way I could deal with losing her. I had to believe that she was better off.

While I was tracking, I'd occasionally spoken to Nessie, but I had never tried to contact Katherine. Even when talking to Nessie, I'd never asked how Kathy was doing, though I was desperate to know.

Nessie never mentioned her to me either, not even once, and it seemed very likely that she was deliberately avoiding the subject, presumably because Kathy wanted nothing to do with me. Although it was frustrating to hear so little news, I told myself that Nessie would say something if Kathy was ever in real trouble.

While my thoughts wandered, Althea scooted around to lie sideways across the bed, using me for a pillow, as she rested the back of her head on my bare stomach. I draped one arm around her neck and lifted my other hand to her dark hair, idly twisting it through my fingers. She absently reached for the hand which lay on her collarbone, working her fingers between mine and saying.

"You know, when you're a newborn, you hear stories of mated couples who have this wonderful, mystical union which lasts for an eternity. You're told that they will stay together and love each other, no matter what, forever. And then you meet a few of them, and you can see that what they've got is pretty intense, and you even feel a little jealous, because it can get lonely sometimes. But you're almost certain it will never happen to you, so you forget about it and get on with your life.

"But one day, when you least expect it, you meet someone who really makes you believe, just for a moment, that you've found that special person. The one who'll make you whole." She shook her head. "But it turns out that they don't love you back… and you're just left feeling like a fool."

I found myself agreeing with her. "I know what you mean."

It was only after I spoke that it occurred to me that I might have given too much away, but Althea didn't seem to notice my slip, she just continued with a dry smile.

"I thought that mating was supposed to be a two-way street. Still, I guess it would have been a bit much to expect Johnny to form a _mystical_ connection with anyone."

"Yeah, I can just imagine it…"

For a second, I pictured John – the master of brutal practicality and coven politics – mooning around after some girl, and I gave a sudden tactless snort of laughter. Althea looked my way, and I thought she was going to be offended, but she then burst into a helpless peal of laughter, as if she'd read my mind.

"Oh God, you're so right! It would have been _ridiculous...!_"

She covered her face with her hands and laughed and laughed, and I found myself chuckling too. It was a while before the laughs subsided, and even then she continued giggling for a while. When she finally had them under control, I lightly patted her head.

"Do you feel better now?"

"You know, I actually do." Althea threw me a warm smile and sat up. "I haven't felt like laughing, or even smiling, for weeks."

"I'm glad to hear it."

"Thank you…" Her smile became wistful, and I could feel all her earnest sincerity. "I really mean it, Leo. Thanks for coming here, not just for what you did for Johnny, but because this is the best that I've felt for a really long time."

"So…" I raised an eyebrow. "Do I get a reward for cheering you up?"

"Yeah." Althea smirked. "I'm going to reward you by _not_ kicking your ass out of the door and throwing your bag after you."

I stretched and put my hands back behind my head in a relaxed gesture. "That's good enough for me, sweetheart."

She rolled her eyes. "You never change, do you, Leo."

"So I've been told..."

We spent the rest of the night, and most of the next day, hanging out in her room. We played cards, watched TV, shared anecdotes, it was really nice. Althea was more relaxed than I had ever seen her, but then again, I had usually seen her when Johnny was around. It made me realise just how tense his presence had always made her feel. By mid-afternoon, Althea said that she was feeling hungry.

"You know." She tilted her head thoughtfully. "This is the first time I've really _wanted_ to eat in weeks. It must be your good influence."

"Glad I could be of service."

"I think I'll go hunting tonight." She threw me a wicked glance from under her long lashes. "I don't suppose you'd care to join me?"

"Thanks for the offer, but I'll pass."

She smiled and shrugged. "It was worth a try. You never know, maybe one of these days you'll fall off the wagon. I'd love to see your eyes red again."

"You've been talking to Dominica, that's what she's been saying for years."

I refrained from pointing out that it hadn't happened yet.

After sunset, Althea went hunting, and I was left to my own devises for the evening. I flicked through TV channels for about an hour, and then decided to step outside and investigate the local nightlife. I didn't usually spend much time socialising with humans – in my experience, it was more trouble than it was worth – but I was really bored.

I managed to find a decent sports bar, where I could sit and watch a game. It was a quiet weekday evening, and the bar wasn't especially full, just a few tables of friends, and some guys playing pool in the corner. When I walked inside a few people glanced my way. A couple of the girls looked interested, but the guys all seemed uneasy. This was hardly surprising, I was big enough to appear intimidating, and that was without the vampire vibe, which invariably raised the hairs on the back of a few necks.

I strolled over to the bar and found a good place to watch the game. I ordered a shot of whisky. It was much easier to spend an evening choking down small glasses of spirits, than whole bottles of beer. I was served by a burly bartender, who looked to be in his late fifties. When I made my order, he shot me a swift, appraising glance. As he handed me my glass, he caught my eye.

"I'm assuming that you didn't come in here to make trouble."

I had to respect his attitude. His instincts were telling him that I was dangerous, but I didn't smell fear. I shook my head, replying calmly.

"I just came in to watch the game."

"Glad to hear it," he said, with a wry smile.

As I paid for my drink, the bartender looked at me speculatively. "Are you in the military, son?"

Now and again, I encountered people who sensed this about my human past. They usually had some kind of military connection themselves and recognised the signs. Kathy came from a family of marines, and she had guessed that I was in the navy the very first time she saw me. The bartender's question reminded me of the fact.

It didn't matter where I went, or what I did, there was always something to make me think of her. I ignored the painful memory and nodded politely to the man.

"I was in the navy. And you?"

He grinned in acknowledgement of a fellow serviceman. "Twenty eight years in the Air Force. Been retired for a while now… but you never lose the attitude."

It seemed that I hadn't lost the attitude in over seventy years. I had to smile. "No sir, I guess not."

I thanked him for the drink and he threw me a friendly smile and went to serve another customer, and I turned my attention to the game. I'd only been watching for a few minutes when my phone rang in my pocket. The only person who had my number was Hal, and he didn't usually call unless he had something important to say. I answered by the second ring.

"Hey, Hal. What's up?"

"Oh… Hello, Leo. How are you?"

Hal sounded surprised to hear my voice, as if I had called him, rather than the other way around. We hadn't spoken for a couple of weeks, so tried really hard to be patient.

"I'm great thanks. How about you?"

"Yes, I'm very well. The lecture is next Thursday, and I've been getting my notes together and I've had three meetings with the faculty. Dr Kibberman said…"

My patience instantly disappeared and I quickly interrupted him. "Is everything ok?"

"Ah, right, of course." He finally got to the point. "I had a call from Emmett Cullen. He really wanted to speak to you, he said it was urgent. And you told me to let you know right away when Nessie Cullen called, so I thought you would like to know that her uncle had tried to contact you."

I was hit by a sudden wave of anxiety. Nessie was just too damn fragile. "What's wrong? Is Red in trouble? Is she hurt… or broke?"

Dammit, I knew I should have forced her to take some money.

"I don't know. Emmett didn't say that there was anything wrong with her, but I could tell that he really wanted to speak to you."

I frowned. "Ok, fine. What's his number? I'll call him now."

Hal rattled off the number, and then asked where I was. I told him I was in Lincoln, with Althea.

"Althea? Oh…" he replied, sounding slightly confused. "That's nice. I didn't know you were visiting her. Is she well?"

"Yeah, she's cool. I'll tell her you asked after her."

I knew that Althea would be pleased. She was fond of Hal. It always amazed me how popular my brother actually was with our kind, considering that he was an eccentric, academic, vegetarian who had nothing in common with any of them.

After our call ended, I stared at my phone for a long time. I had no idea why Emmett Cullen wanted to speak to me.

I sighed and dialled his number.

The next day, I found myself back in the same sports bar, ordering two whiskeys. Emmett had flown to Lincoln to speak to me and had only just arrived. I had suggested the bar as a good place to meet, because it would be quiet at that time of day and had a relaxed atmosphere, which might help if he needed to talk. I wasn't sure why Emmett wanted to see me, but I guessed it must be important for him to fly over from Illinois.

I was served by the same bartender as on the previous night and we exchanged pleasantries while I waited for my order. When I finally made my way over to Emmett, he was staring moodily at the table top. I put his glass in front of him with a wink.

"This should cheer you up."

He grimaced and thanked me as I sat down opposite him. I drank some whiskey and glanced at my companion. His expression was tense and careworn, nothing like the carefree guy I'd met in the New Year. Emmett looked like a person with the weight of the world on his shoulders. I wasn't quite sure what to say, but I assumed that he hadn't flown the whole way from Illinois just to stare holes into the table, so I asked casually.

"So… how's it going?"

He shook his head and looked up. "Not great, to be honest..."

Well, it was a start.

"What's wrong?" I tried to keep my tone mild and unconfrontational. Emmett looked slightly unsure and I added. "Don't tell me that you came all this way just because you missed me. Or have you had trouble finding a decent wrestling partner?"

This made him smile. "I must admit, I have missed the wrestling, though we don't have that training area anymore, not since we moved." His expression became bleak.

I decided to get him back on track. "How are your family?"

"Geez." He sighed running his hand over his curly head. "Where do I start?"

"That doesn't sound too good, what's going on?"

"How long have you got?" He smiled ruefully.

"Don't worry about me. I'm not the one who's flying out in four hours."

"Ok." He sounded a little more purposeful. "I guess it makes sense before I say anything else, to find out how much you already know about our family's situation."

I cocked an eyebrow. "Meaning…?"

"You know about Jasper's mistake, don't you?" He looked slightly uneasy. "I mean, I heard that you told Jake about it."

_Uh oh_...

I'd assumed that Emmett hadn't come here to challenge me, but now I wasn't so sure. Were the Cullens angry about what I'd done? There was no point in denying the truth, since they obviously knew what I'd said to Jake, so I calmly admitted it.

"Yeah, I heard about Jasper's slip and I told Jake. But I didn't realise it was a secret, I'm sorry."

Emmett dismissed my apology. "Don't worry about it. You weren't to know." He shook his head wearily. "It was a mistake to hide the truth from Jake in the first place."

I agreed with him, but kept my opinions to myself. "So what else do you want to ask me about?"

"You were with Nessie in Alaska, weren't you?"

"Yeah."

"Do you know what happened when she got back home? Did you know that she had a fight with Edward?"

I nodded cautiously and tried not to give away too much. "Nessie mentioned it to me, yeah."

Emmett seemed relieved. "Great, that definitely makes this easier."

"Ok, so now we've established what _I_ know. But I still have no idea why you're here. Or what you want to talk about."

Emmett raised eyes to mine; there was honesty in their expression, and deep concern. "I want to know what happened in Alaska."

I frowned in surprise. I'd assumed that Edward would have told his family the whole story.

"How much have you heard?"

"I know that you were attacked by the Volturi… and that you survived."

"It sounds like you already know what happened."

He shook his head in frustration. "No, that's just the problem. That's _all_ I know. I haven't heard any of the details of what happened. I don't know how bad the attack was, who was there, how many there were, _nothing...!_ I don't even know if anyone was hurt.

"But Edward won't talk about it, and when I try and ask him, he just clams up, or goes off in a huff. And Bella is still so upset that I can't question her about what happened, because it will only cause a fight with Edward."

I asked the most obvious question. "Why don't you just speak to Red if you want answers?"

"I would if she'd pick up the phone, but she's avoiding talking to any of us at the moment." He glanced up unhappily. "I don't know what to do. The whole family is in chaos. And Rose is taking it really hard. She's always been especially attached to Nessie. She would have loved to have kids, and when Bella gave birth, Rosalie finally had the chance to help bring up a baby.

"That girl means more to her than just about anything. And although Nessie's grown up and we don't see as much of her as we'd like, she's still the closest thing that Rosalie and I have to a daughter. We love her. But now it feels like Nessie doesn't want us anymore, and Rose is so unhappy. I hate to see her this way."

Judging by Emmett's miserable expression, it was very clear that the rift between Nessie and her family had become very serious, and I was sorry for it. I tried not to sound too harsh when I enquired.

"So why are you asking me about it? What can I do?"

"Because you were there, and you might be able to help me understand why my family is falling apart over this. I need to know what happened. _Please_, Leo. They're all so angry and I can't help them."

I could hear his pain and frustration. I didn't have much of a family, but I knew that if Hal was in trouble, or Dominica, I would move heaven and earth to help them. So I decided to tell Emmett the truth, even if Edward and Bella wouldn't speak of it. Anyway, it was my right. It wasn't their secret, they weren't even _there_, it was mine and I could talk about if I wanted to. So I sat back and told Emmett what he wanted to know.

I described my journey with Jake, how we caught up with the girls, and the way we all travelled together. I glossed over my various run-ins with Kathy and how I really felt about her, but I did mention my split from the party and how I returned in time for the fight with the Volturi. I also told him exactly what Nessie had shown me of the attack, from in her memory.

Emmett listened with complete concentration, only making the occasional query, but I could see that he was becoming more and more agitated as the story unfolded. I was worried that he might be about to explode, but since he seemed to be making a concerted effort to stay calm, I kept talking. The only moment I really thought that Emmett might break, was when I described Nessie's close brush with death. He leaned his elbows on the table and rested his temples on his tightly curled fists.

"Do you really want to hear this?" I asked quietly.

He nodded, speaking through clenched teeth. "Yeah, I really do."

So I continued the story, right up until we all separated in Anchorage. When I finally fell silent, Emmett raised his head. His eyes were blazing with anger.

"Those _bastards_." His voice was barely more than a whisper, but it vibrated with pure hatred. "_Those goddamn sons of bitches…_"

The easy-going Emmett was practically shaking with rage. He had my sympathy. That was just how I felt when I saw Kathy being attacked. I waited in silence for some time, giving him a chance to calm down. At long last, he managed to speak again.

"Damn." He shook his head. "I can't believe it." He glanced up with an earnest expression. "Thanks for telling me this, Leo. It means a lot… and thank you… for what you did for Nessie."

"That's ok, but it wasn't just me. Kathy and Jake nearly died trying to protect her. And she never would have survived without Jacob's blood. He saved her life…"

"Yeah, I know," Emmett admitted hoarsely. "We really owe him."

"So, does it help to know the truth?" I threw him a sceptical glance.

"Hell, yeah." He sounded more positive. "You have no idea what a difference this makes. For the last few weeks I've been living in the middle of a family storm, and now I _finally_ know what's going on.

"For a start it really explains why Edward's been acting so crazy. I knew he was angry that she'd taken things to the next level with Jake…" He broke off and threw me a rueful glance. "I'll admit that when they first started dating, some of us had a little trouble getting used to the idea. But even though I knew Edward has some pretty strict morals, I was honestly surprised that he was so pissed about this latest development. I mean, Nessie reached full maturity _ten_ years ago. I'd say that Jake was pretty patient, and it's not like he's ever going to want anyone else."

I had to agree with Emmett, those two had really earned each other. Edward's apparent anger seemed overly harsh in my eyes, especially after everything they'd been through.

Emmett continued with a frown. "But now I know that it goes much deeper. It's no surprise that Edward is such a mess. He's angry, he's guilty and he's scared, which is a terrible combination, especially for someone as high strung as him. I mean, one minute he's plotting a strategy to storm Volterra, and the next he's making plans to kidnap Nessie from Jacob.

"And then he gets really pissed off, because he knows we all _think_ he's acting crazy. And Bella won't lower her shields with him right now, and that pisses him off even more, because he knows she's upset. I've never seen them like this before.

"And it's not just them either. It's the whole family." He elaborated. "Everyone seems to be going crazy. Carlisle and Esme are really unhappy and Jasper is so guilt-ridden that you can hardly get a word out of him. Not just because of his mistake, but because of all this stuff with Nessie. I guess it makes it worse that he can actually _feel_ how distraught everyone else is."

"Yeah, I can imagine." I suddenly felt sorry for Jasper. It would be a long time before he lived this down.

"Rose and I aren't even living with the rest of the family right now. She blames Edward and Jasper for what's happened, especially Jasper. Rose was angry that we had to leave New Hampshire because he screwed up, and says that if he hadn't lost control and broken the treaty, then Nessie would still be speaking to us. I tried to tell Rose that Jasper made a mistake, but she's still furious with him.

"You should have heard the argument she had with Alice, it was pretty brutal. In the end, it seemed a good idea for us to move out until things had settled down," he admitted. "That's how I managed to come here without anyone knowing about it. Rosalie's gone shopping in New York for a few days, and Edward won't realise that I've seen you until it's too late."

"Good work," I joked. "Nice and sneaky."

He shook his head sheepishly. "I don't like going behind anyone's backs, but I didn't feel I had any alternative. I've been so worried about Nessie, and it's the only way to find out what's really going on. Not that I'm the only one who's resorted to sneakiness to find out how she's doing.

"She doesn't want our protection, and Edward screwed things up so badly that now she won't even take our financial support. Copies of her bank statements are always sent to Esme, who manages the family's accounts. She said that Nessie hasn't touched a cent of family money since the fight. We think she probably destroyed all her credit cards."

Nessie had spoken to me about her finances. I knew that she wanted to be independent of the Cullen money without becoming a drain on Jacob. I thought she was brave to try it, but I didn't know if Emmett would see it that way, so I kept my mouth shut and let him speak uninterrupted.

"Anyway," he continued, staring meditatively at his glass. "We were all concerned. Nessie's staying at college and we all know that she has a lot of living expenses. We wondered if maybe Jake was supporting her, but that's hardly ideal. He already spends a fortune on his dad's medical costs, and Nessie is expensive. No one wants to see her bankrupt the guy. So anyway, Jasper hacked into his bank details to find out."

I suddenly felt uncomfortable, Jake was my friend and his bank account was none of my business. I didn't think much of the Cullens' intrusive attitude; it wasn't any of their business either.

"Hey, it's fine," I said hastily. "I really don't need to know."

"It's ok." Emmett seemed to understand my feelings on the subject. He shrugged apologetically. "She hasn't been living off Jacob. Well, he still buys her stuff, but he's not bankrolling her lifestyle. Jasper then tracked down the new bank account she's opened. She's been supporting herself. She even managed to get several thousand dollars into it in the first week.

"Nessie's no fool. She sold a couple of expensive gifts that we'd given her, and she got a really great price for them too." He gave me a rueful smile. "Jasper never told Alice he found a bill showing that Nessie had sold the gold compact that she'd given her. Alice would have been so hurt. Personally, I think it showed initiative, it's not like Nessie ever really used the thing, and it wasn't a family heirloom. Anyway, Jasper wasn't going to take the risk of letting Alice know about it."

I felt a little guilty, knowing that I had encouraged little Red to sell her belongings. But I was pleased and impressed that she hadn't been cheated by the dealer.

"That's not all Nessie did. She got a job too. And she's been economising." He shook his head in wonder. "To be honest, I never thought she had it in her, but she's doing really well. She's covering most of her day-to-day expenses with her job, and only dipping into the cash for the big stuff, like bills."

I smiled. "I'm impressed."

"Yeah, me too. She's a smart kid." Emmett looked a little proud and gave a small laugh. "I can't imagine what would happen if Rosalie tried to live on a budget, or Alice… or _Edward_. They'd be broke in a week."

I took another swig of whiskey and tried to hide my disgust at the taste. "It must be a relief; at least you know she can take care of herself."

"You'd have thought so. I'm relieved, but Edward is falling apart."

"Why?"

"Between you and me, I think it goes back to his human days. Edward was born into money; he's never lived without it, either as a human, or a vampire. Money is a powerful weapon, and one that he's always had at his disposal. I think that Edward takes that power for granted. He's used to getting his own way. After all, most people have a price, and that's doubly true if they're human.

"It is a shock for him that Nessie doesn't want money from the family. I think he assumed she'd fall apart in a couple of weeks and come crawling back, begging for help and desperate to make amends. She's proved that she can stand on her own two feet, and it scares the hell out of him. As every week passes, he looks worse and worse. He's really starting to believe that Nessie doesn't need him. That he's going to lose her for good."

This made me think about my parents. They must have been dead for many years; my sisters probably were too. I had no idea if I had nieces or nephews. I had grown accustomed to the loss. I had a second life and lived it accordingly, but I still missed them occasionally.

"Need isn't all about money," I said quietly. "Red is an affectionate girl. She'd love her family if they were rich or poor. She's not interested in the cash."

"I know." Emmett nodded and suddenly looked miserable again. "But maybe she can't forgive us."

"I don't believe that. She's not the type to hold a grudge."

"She's making a pretty good job of it right now. We even heard from Bella's dad, that Nessie is planning on leaving college at the end of the year. If she gets a job then she'll be completely independent."

I was surprised. "I'd have thought that Red would want to finish her studies and get her degree. She'd probably get a better job if she did."

Emmett shook his head. "Don't be fooled. Nessie's qualified enough, she already has several degrees. She just wanted to go to college for the experience, although I'm sure she'd like to stay on, she won't feel that she needs to. And right now I think she'd happier to give it up than take anything from us."

He sighed and took a drink. He looked as if he enjoyed the taste of whisky about as much as I did.

"You know," I said bracingly. "I think you're taking this all wrong. Red went through a really terrifying experience – trust me, I was there. She only made it by the skin of her teeth. We both know that that kind of thing changes a person. And it certainly brought her closer to Jacob.

"Then, from what I've heard, the second she arrived home, she was faced with Edward, who decided to act like a self-appointed judge, jury and executioner, laying down the law about her life – presumably with Bella's backing. There was no way that she was going to stand and face the Volturi, but back down to him. The truth is that Red has a spine and she's no longer afraid to use it.

"But just because the kid wants her independence, doesn't mean that she can't forgive you, or that she doesn't want to be part of your family. She's got a soft heart – for all her pride – and I know that she loves you. Maybe she doesn't want her life dictated by Edward. Hell, maybe she just doesn't want to be bought.

"There's no getting away from the fact that her path is different from yours, and it was always going to be. She's half human and she's in a relationship with a wolf shifter. She can't be like the rest of you, even if she wants to be. And she won't want to force Jacob into a life that makes him unhappy either, she loves him too much. It's no surprise that she's making her own way now. But that doesn't mean that there can be no meeting point between you. You just need to find a new way of doing things, a way to make it work."

"I just wish I could see her."

I glanced at him questioningly. "What's stopping you?"

"The treaty, I guess."

"Does it stop you going to see her at college? Would the wolves have time to declare war if you spent an afternoon with Red? You could fly in and out of Seattle before they even knew you'd been there. I doubt that Jake would be _that_ bothered if he found out. You'd hardly be invading his territory and he's not a fool enough to chase you down."

"I guess I'm not really so worried about that. What you said is true. I just don't know if Nessie wants to see me…"

Emmett looked pretty despondent and so I tried to encourage him. "If it was me, I'd follow my instincts. If you feel like you need to see her, then you probably do. I'd say that at this point you've got nothing to lose. Let's face it, you're at a stalemate."

"Tell me about it," he frowned, before giving me a hopeful glance. "Do you really think I should?"

"Absolutely. If Red was _my_ niece, I'd definitely go. I'd think it was my duty," I said persuasively. "After all, who has more right to turn up completely unannounced, and disrupt her life, than her uncle? Isn't that what family is supposed to do? And don't be afraid to play on her sympathy either. Like I said, she's got a soft heart."

This drew a reluctant grin from him. "Well, since you put it like that, maybe I should."

"That's the spirit." I glanced at my whisky. "I would say 'let's drink to it', but I'm not sure I can take much more."

"Well." He gave a relieved smile and discretely poured the remains of his whisky into a nearby plant pot. "Cheers to that."

I followed his example, quickly disposing of my horrible drink. "So, you're really going to do it?"

"Yeah, I think that someone needs to." Emmett sounded determined. "But there's one small thing I was wondering about…" He frowned.

"What's that?"

"Edward thinks that Nessie's new friend, Katherine, has been leading her astray. He thinks that she has too much influence over her. I think he partly blames her for his argument with Nessie. You were with them in Alaska. Do you think there's any truth in it? Do you think that girl would put up any obstacles, if I tried to make peace with Nessie?"

This question shouldn't really have surprised me. Of course Edward would try and pass the buck, especially onto an easy target like Kathy. She was a stranger and she wasn't part of a powerful coven that could force some respect from him. But the injustice of his accusations still made my blood boil. I knew damn well that Katherine would never deliberately instigate trouble between Nessie and her family, but I fought back my anger and replied as calmly as I could.

"I don't think that Kathy would cause any problems. She's a good person."

"Great. That's one less thing to worry about." Emmett didn't seem to notice my anger, he just looked relieved. "Edward was probably exaggerating anyway; he does that when he's mad. He's been saying practically the same thing about Seth and Charlie."

"Sure." I nodded amiably, while thinking that it was lucky for Edward that he was currently several hundred miles away from me.

We stayed and talked for a while longer. Our conversation seemed to have cheered up Emmett, and when we parted, he shook my hand and thanked me.

"Come visit us sometime," he offered hospitably "Whenever you feel like it, you're always welcome."

"Thanks, maybe I'll take you up on your offer."

"You should, Rose would love to see you again too."

My mind turned to the beautiful Rosalie. "You're a lucky man."

Emmett looked pleased. "I know it."

"I hope everything goes well with Red."

"Thanks." He nodded. "I can only do my best, right?"

"Well, I guess you'd better get back before your gorgeous wife discovers you missing and your luck runs out."

He laughed and said goodbye, and I made my way back to Althea's motel. She was taking a bubble bath when I arrived. Her previous night's hunt had been successful and she'd spent the day relaxing. She knew that I'd gone to meet a friend and called out when she heard me come in.

"Leo, I'm in here."

I poked my head around the bathroom door and caught sight of her, immersed in bubbles with her wavy hair bundled into a messy knot on top of her head.

"Hey, sweetheart. How's it going?"

She glanced over her shoulder and smiled welcomingly. "Hey, Leo." Her eyes were now a flaming red. "How did it go with your friend?"

I strolled into the room and sat on the edge of the tub. "It went well."

"So…" She raised her bright eyes to my face. "Why did he want to see you?"

I didn't like to gossip, but I knew that Althea would appreciate a few details, so I just said. "Some family stuff, he's worried about his niece."

She looked startled. "His _niece?_ I've never heard of a vampire having one of those before."

"He's from a progressive coven." I replied blandly, handing her a washcloth.

Althea took the cloth and began to wash her throat and arms. She shot me a suspicious glance. "Will he hunt in the area? Will he need someone to show him around?"

This was a valid question. It wouldn't be to her advantage if a visitor started to kill in a conspicuous way.

"No, he's flying out in a couple of hours. It wouldn't matter anyway, Thea. He doesn't drink human blood."

"You're kidding?"

"Nope."

"Geez, I never thought I'd feel like a freak for drinking from humans." She shook her dark head reproachfully. "I just don't know what the world's coming to when a girl can't find a man to hunt with her."

I smirked at her sulky expression. "Actually, his _wife_ shares his diet."

I had deliberately used the word 'wife' instead of 'mate'. The Cullens were the only vampires I knew who were officially married. Althea's reaction didn't disappoint. She looked absolutely stunned.

"So, let's get this straight…" Her eyes narrowed as she began to analyse the information. "He has a niece… he doesn't drink blood… he's married..." She suddenly sniffed the air and wrinkled her little nose with obvious distaste. "And you've been drinking _whiskey_ together."

"That's right." I nodded, trying to keep a straight face.

Althea suddenly grasped my knee, soaking me with bubbles in the process.

"Leo, have you completely lost your mind?" She fired me a look which was somewhere between shock and betrayal. "How _could_ you…?! How could you make friends with a human? It's like one of _them_ making friends with a _cheeseburger!_"

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Thank you so much for the latest reviews and list additions. I am very grateful, they were so nice to receive. Also an extra thank you to Olivia and Rebecca, sorry I couldn't send you a PM, but I loved the comments :)**

**Anyway, I will post again in two weeks, have a lovely fortnight. Thanks for reading,**

**Mad :)**


	63. Nessie, Emmett's intervention

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

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><p><strong>As always, a huge thank you to my very helpful beta, willowbae :)<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 63.<strong>

**Nessie – Emmett's intervention**

Weeks had passed since my trip to Alaska and a great deal had happened in that time. Spring break had come and gone with a remarkable speed and the summer term was well underway at college.

I'd had a couple of meetings with my head of department, to discuss my missed exams, and she'd agreed that, since I'd aced the tests which I _had_ taken, I should continue with my classes and see how I scored at the end of the year. I didn't bother to mention that it was all a bit theoretical, since I probably wouldn't be returning for the second year anyway. I decided to cross that bridge when I came to it.

I managed to get the job at the book store where Oliver's girlfriend, Veronica, worked. I had never done any paid work before and entering the work force took a little adjustment, even if it was only part time. But I did get used to the hours and learn my way around the store, and my memory worked to my advantage when it came to answering customer queries and shelving books. It wasn't long before I had made friends with the other staff and some of the regular customers. And when I received my very first paycheque my sense of achievement was surprisingly intense.

As well as the small, but steady, income from my job, I also sold my gold powder compact and a couple of other valuables. This money really boosted my new bank balance and came in handy when I had to pay my larger bills. It didn't mean that I'd be able to afford to put myself through college the following year, but at least it removed the threat of imminent financial meltdown.

Not that I was especially disappointed by the prospect of leaving my degree after only a year. It might have been nice to continue, but I already had several degrees and was qualified enough. And I had plenty of plans for what I could do with myself work-wise, so I didn't feel that it was worth getting into debt, just to spend a few more years at college.

Professor Leary seemed slightly disappointed that I hadn't been publicly disgraced for my exam no-shows, but that was hardly surprising, and so I ignored his needling remarks and made the best of my remaining time at university.

I was in regular contact with Leo, who was travelling most of the time, and I frequently called Katherine. She had relocated to Canada and found a job and a place to live in Edmonton. She was reluctant to work as a nurse again, saying that she wasn't in the mood to be around blood, and had taken a job in bar instead. She explained that the late hours were good for avoiding the sun, the tips were great, and she was too strong to feel threatened by drunks. I had to admire her logic.

Although she was miles away, I found myself leaning on her very heavily in the weeks that followed my bust-up with my parents. I could tell that Katherine wanted me to reconcile with them, but she never pressured me about it, instead she gave me endless helpful advice, mainly on how to live independently on a budget. It turned out that she was _extremely_ knowledgeable on the subject.

Katherine's guidance made things much easier for me, and kept me on the straight and narrow. It was hugely helpful that I could speak to her, instead of nagging Jacob every single time I had a query. Her advice also stopped Jake from worrying too much, because he could see that I was managing just fine.

Of course, Jacob helped me in a million ways too, including by getting me a car. It seemed that he had taken my threat to borrow his motorcycle very much to heart, because he found me a car almost straight away. It was lucky for me that he was a mechanic, because he had easy access to a number of decent second-hand cars and he made a deal with one of his friends to get me one. Admittedly, it wasn't quite as nice as my Audi, but it was still a _lot_ nicer than taking the bus, and so I was extremely grateful.

I continued to live with Grandpa, though in practical terms I spent most of my weekends at La Push with Jake. Billy had decided to relocate to Rachel's house, so Jake and I had plenty of privacy, which we both appreciated. And the time that we spent together, as our relationship deepened, was worth all the economising and sacrifices.

I couldn't pretend that things were always easy for us. Jake was still pretty stressed, and I suffered from regular nightmares and feelings of anxiety, as a result of our experiences in Denali. I was clingier to Jacob than I had been before the attack. But he was extremely patient and bent over backwards to reassure me and make me feel safe.

Initially, I was worried about how the pack would react to my presence when they heard about the broken treaty. I felt very awkward on the first weekend when I returned to La Push, but I quickly discovered that instead of treating me with hostility, the guys actually seemed to be going out of their way to be friendly.

I hardly knew what to make of it, until Emily dropped by to see me, while Jake was at a pack meeting with Sam. She told me that the wolves felt really bad about what had happened.

"I thought they'd be pleased," I said, feeling uncomfortable.

Her expression was full of kindly concern. "They _were_ pleased that Jake enforced the treaty. It needed to be done, at least for the time being," she slowly explained. "But they all feel really bad about the position that you've found yourself in."

I probably sounded a little defensive. "No one forced me. I made my choice and I'm ok with that."

"Trust me, we're all glad you're not falling apart," she replied with an apologetic smile. "But don't be surprised that people here feel sorry to see you separated from your family. They understand what you've sacrificed and why you've done it. No one wanted _you_ to pay for this."

Emily's logic slightly surprised me. Who better to pay, than me? But I felt touched that the pack cared enough to take this view, and so I kept my opinions to myself and thanked her shyly.

"Thanks for telling me. That's nice to know."

"It's ok." She patted my arm. "You took sides against your own people for us. We appreciate what you've given up and we're all here for you, Nessie."

I smiled politely, but inside my chest tightened. Emily's words made me feel a both happy and sad. I was grateful for her encouragement, but I still deeply regretted the fact that I couldn't turn to my own family for support.

My relationship with my parents remained my biggest problem. The situation had reached a complete stalemate. Over the weeks I'd had some extremely tense conversations with various family members, and I had begun to dodge their calls. The one person who never contacted me, or showed any regret, was my father. This hurt me more than I cared to admit, and made me unwilling to make any reconciliatory moves.

My way of dealing with the situation was to try to avoid thinking about it altogether. This head-in-the-sand tactic wasn't always successful. There were moments when I was overcome with sadness and a sense of loss, but I usually kept these feelings to myself, rather than share them with Jacob. I knew that he was feeling both angry and guilty about my family feud, and I didn't want to make him feel any worse than he already did.

Instead, I carried on as best as I could, making the best of my new life. I went to college, went to work, and spent time with Jake and my family in Forks, and completely failed to find a way to break the deadlock with my vampire family.

This strategy continued until a cloudy afternoon in May, when I walked out of class and found Uncle Emmett waiting for me in the crowded corridor.

He was leaning against the wall, looking sporty and relaxed, and seemingly unaware of the attention that he was attracting from everyone who passed by. It wasn't every day that a vampire strolled onto campus – whether or not my classmates realised it – and all eyes were on my big, handsome uncle.

"Uncle Emmett!" I exclaimed in shock, drawing even more curious looks. "What are you doing here?"

His head shot up, and before I knew it, he was pushing his way through the throng towards me. A second later, he had caught me in a bear hug.

"Nessie!"

If I'd been human I would have been crushed instantly. As it was I just about managed to gasp. "_Argh…_"

"Oh, sorry!"

He instantly let go, which was unfortunate, as I nearly fell over when my feet hit the ground. I stumbled back and took a few gasping breaths, dragging the air back into my flattened lungs.

"Damn…" Uncle Emmett cursed. "Sweetheart, are you ok?"

I glanced up and caught sight of his face. His expression was almost comically repentant. I tried to reassure him.

"Sure," I coughed. "I'm fine. Just give me a second…" I drew another long breath.

"I always forget you're half and half," he said guiltily.

"Honestly." I waved away his concerns. "It's no problem. Anyone could make that mistake." If they were a vampire with a human hybrid niece.

He anxiously ran his fingers through his hair. "Are you really alright, kid? You look a little… I don't know... squashed."

"Look, see…" I stood up straight, fully recovered. "As good as new."

I met his eye and he gave a sheepish smile. At that moment I realised how much I had missed him, and I couldn't help myself from hugging him again, much to his apparent surprise.

"I'm so happy to see you!"

Uncle Emmett squeezed me gently; clearly worried that he was going to squish me again. "I'm happy to see you too, sweetheart."

He sounded uncharacteristically nervous, and I was hit by a cold wave of anxiety. Did my uncle have bad news? I pulled away and stared into his face.

"What's wrong?" My mouth suddenly felt dry. "Is everyone ok? Is someone hurt? Please, tell me…"

"No, sweetheart," he quickly reassured me. "Everyone's fine. I just wasn't sure that you'd want to see me."

I breathed a sigh of relief and tried to find the words. "I… I… _wanted_ to see you. It's just been so complicated with Dad and everything…"

He didn't wait for me to finish and pulled me in for another hug. "Yeah, I know. It's a total nightmare."

At that moment an impatient voice spoke behind me. "Excuse me, _Miss Cullen_. I can see that you're very busy, but I do actually have to teach another class this afternoon..."

I glanced over my shoulder. Professor Leary was standing in the classroom doorway and we were blocking his exit.

"I'm sorry, professor." I quickly moved out of the way.

As Professor Leary stepped out of the doorway he looked as if he might add a sarcastic comment, but then he got a proper look at Uncle Emmett and his expression changed. He paled slightly and his manner instantly became formally polite.

"Thank you. Good afternoon, Miss Cullen."

"Good afternoon, professor…"

But Professor Leary had already spun on his heel and hurried away. As I watched him disappear down the hallway, I shook my head with a smile. I wished that _I_ could produce that response from Professor Leary.

"I guess you scared him, Uncle Emmett." I glanced at my uncle's face and received a slight shock. "_Geez_, I can see why!"

My uncle was glaring threateningly at Professor Leary's retreating form. He looked as if he was seriously considering chasing him down the hall and ripping off his head. As much as I disliked my slimy professor, I felt a little nervous.

"He only wanted to get past, Uncle Emmett." I tried to play down Professor Leary's hostility to me. "Don't be offended. Professor Leary is always a little aloof with the students, but he's really quite nice." I lied.

To my misfortune, I had discovered that he was neither nice, nor aloof. Slimy and insinuating were more Professor Leary's style. Uncle Emmett continued scowling at the professor's back as he answered. His words came out as a snarl.

"Promise me that you'll _never_ spend a moment alone with that man."

God, had Uncle Emmett somehow heard about the night when Oliver helped me with Professor Leary's paperwork? Was he going to murder my obnoxious teacher?

"Do you really think…?"

"I'm serious, Nessie." He interrupted insistently, turning his eyes to my face. "_Promise_ me..."

I wasn't used to seeing my easy-going uncle looking so furious, and I quickly agreed. "Ok… I promise. But why?"

I tried to look innocent. I was _not_ going to have Professor Leary's death on my head. Uncle Emmett took a calming breath and put his hand under my elbow.

"Let's take a walk. We can talk."

This seemed like a great plan, considering that there were plenty of curious people within earshot. I nodded and allowed myself to be guided out of the building by my massive uncle. We stepped outside and I threw him a baffled glance.

"Can you tell me what that was all that about?"

"His scent was _all over_ two of the girls back there." He sounded disgusted.

"Are you _serious?_" I gaped.

Uncle Emmett rolled his eyes. "I'm surprised you didn't notice."

So was I. My sense of smell wasn't as sharp as a full vampire, but it was still pretty good. But it always seemed as if the whole classroom reeked of Professor Leary's scent and so I had never really given it much thought. His scent certainly wasn't all over any of my good friends, so these students clearly weren't very well known to me.

"No, I didn't notice. How did you?"

Uncle Emmett shrugged. "One of the girls left the classroom just before you. And another passed me in the hallway while I was waiting for your class to finish, but I don't think she's in your year. I think she's a senior." He gave me a stern look. "But, if that creep comes anywhere near you, then I swear to God it'll be the last move he ever makes."

I wasn't entirely sure how to respond, so I decided to stick with gratitude. "Err… thanks, Uncle Emmett."

"Just be on your guard," he warned. "I daresay you try your best, but you're young and you don't have a clue what guys can be like. I know that you think your professor is _nice_, and you're probably impressed by his academic knowledge and worldly air, but take it from me, he's not what you think."

I wasn't sure whether to huff with exasperation, or burst out laughing. Did Uncle Emmett seriously think that I couldn't see Professor Leary coming from a mile away? In the end I contained my feelings. I didn't want to offend my well-meaning relative, or give him cause to murder my teacher.

"Thanks for the warning. I'll keep out of his way from now on."

"Good." Uncle Emmett gave a decisive nod. "Just see that you do."

We started strolling towards the park. The day was heavily overcast and it felt as if might start raining at any moment. We walked in silence. I wasn't quite sure what to say, there was so much to discuss that I hardly knew where to start. At long last Uncle Emmett spoke.

"So… how's Jake?" He asked cautiously.

My eyes flew to his face and I couldn't help feeling defensive. "He's _fine_, thank you."

"That's good." Uncle Emmett sounded a little awkward. "I'm glad to hear it."

"But he won't be happy when I tell him that you're in Seattle." I came to a standstill and turned towards him, adding seriously. "What's going on, Uncle Emmett? Why are you here? You know that it's going to cause trouble. Not just for the family, but for me too."

Uncle Emmett spotted a deserted bench and led me towards it. The park was almost empty; the threat of rain had kept the crowds away. We both sat down, and he leaned forward and stared at his hands.

"I'm sorry, kid." He sighed. "I know that this is hard on you, but I really didn't know what else to do. I've wanted to see you for a while, and Leo told me I should just follow my instincts and come visit. So I did."

"Leo?" I exclaimed in surprise. "What does _he_ have to do with it?"

Uncle Emmett looked a little guilty. "I wanted to know what happened in Alaska, so I went to see him."

I tried to block out the frightening memories and replied stiffly. "So… did he tell you what you wanted to know?"

"He did." Leo must have told him exactly what happened, because my uncle's expression instantly became very sympathetic. "I'm so sorry for what those bastards did to you, Nessie."

"Don't worry about it." I glanced away self-consciously. "It's over now."

"I guess so." He tilted his head. "But I'm still sorry." I didn't reply, I hardly knew what to say about that awful experience, but Uncle Emmett continued quietly. "Leo gave me some advice too."

I glanced his way. "Was it good advice?"

"I don't know. I guess we're about to find out..."

"I guess we are." I watched my uncle with curiosity.

"You see, the thing is…" He took a deep breath, and his voice became more purposeful. "I need to know if you're ever going to forgive us for what happened."

This caught me by surprise. "What…?" I stumbled. "I… I hadn't really thought about it that way."

Uncle Emmett watched me unflinchingly. "Well, I'm asking you to think about it now. Is this separation from your family a permanent thing? Are you ever going to forgive us? Are you ever going to forgive your dad?"

I was stung by these questions. "So is that what you think, Uncle Emmett? That this separation is all _my_ fault? That if I could just let it go, then we'd all get along fine?"

"No, kid," he protested mildly. "I never said that."

"No, you just _implied_ it, that's all." I straightened in my seat and lifted my chin defiantly. "You've come here, wanting to know if I'm going to back down, or if I'll hold a pig-headed grudge forever, as if _I'm_ the person who's causing all the trouble."

"Come on, Nessie. No one suggested that you were at fault."

"No one but Dad." I snapped indignantly. "You've asked if I'll ever forgive my dad, but what about _him?_ He's never asked me for forgiveness. He doesn't even think he's in the wrong. Dad made me lie to Jacob, he saw the consequences, and yet he still treats me as if I'm the one who broke the treaty and got the family evicted from the Peninsula. He still hasn't apologised to Jake or me. He's never acknowledged any fault. As far as my dad is concerned, I'm the one who should be begging for forgiveness."

I couldn't keep the anger out of my voice. "Well, that's never going to happen. If you want to know if this separation is going to be permanent, you're asking the wrong person. You should be speaking to Dad. You should ask him if he actually wants his daughter."

I abruptly rose to my feet. But before I could move away, Uncle Emmett's hand shot out and grabbed my wrist.

"Wait …"

His hold on my arm was painless, but completely unbreakable. My breath caught in my throat. I met his eye and saw that my carefree uncle was looking unusually grim. He eased his grip, but his eyes never left my face.

"You think your dad doesn't want you?" He asked in disbelief. "You _really_ think that…?"

I reluctantly sat down and shook my head. "I honestly don't know what Dad wants, except that he definitely doesn't want to say sorry."

Uncle Emmett sighed and released my arm. "If you could see him, you'd know how sorry he was, Nessie."

"What does that mean?"

Uncle Emmett shrugged. "The guy's a mess. What he did to you, how he handled everything… he was scared, and stupid, and just plain wrong. He screwed up completely and he knows it. But he has no idea of how to fix the problem. Maybe he's too proud to make a move to say sorry, but mostly I think he's too afraid."

"Afraid of what?" I threw him a sceptical glance.

"Afraid of what he saw in your mind, sweetheart. He won't talk about it to me, but I spoke to your mom before coming here." He gave me a pointed look. "You know that Rose and I aren't living with the others right now?"

"I heard." I nodded guiltily.

Grandma Esme had passed on this news in a choked voice, during our last extremely difficult conversation.

"Well, after I saw Leo in Lincoln last week, I went home and spoke to Rose. I told her that I was going to visit you. I called your mom and she came to see us. Edward doesn't know anything about it. He hasn't seen me since I got back from Nebraska. I didn't want him to know what I was planning, so I avoided him all week. I thought he'd try to stop me.

"But your mom doesn't feel that way, she wanted me to come here. She's been miserable for weeks, but you know what Bella's like, she just goes into herself when she's unhappy. She doesn't find it easy to talk about her problems. But once I told her about my meeting with Leo, she was completely behind my plan to see you.

"Bella opened up about everything that happened with your dad too. She said that Edward was devastated by what was in your mind. He saw how intensely you wanted to block him out, and it really shocked him. That's why he won't call you. He thinks you'd throw any apology in his face. It seems that your dad is now convinced that you want nothing to do with him. That you hate him."

Uncle Emmett fell silent and watched me carefully as his words sunk in. I wasn't entirely convinced that they were true. It all seemed rather unlikely. My father could read minds. He must know that I didn't hate him. I would admit that I'd been very angry and had wanted to block him out. I'd wanted it desperately. But that wasn't the same as _hating_ him. Couldn't he understand the difference? There were also other implications to what my uncle was saying. My heart ached and I gave a small, twisted smile.

"If Dad cared _that_ much he would have taken the risk and called me anyway. He would've put his feelings on the line. The fact that he hasn't shows exactly how much I mean to him…"

My lip began to wobble before I could stop it and I quickly looked away, hoping that Uncle Emmett hadn't noticed. He answered me gently.

"You have no idea how much you mean to him, kid."

I kept my face averted. "Apparently not…" I snorted.

A moment later a burly arm circled my shoulders. "Come on, Nessie. Edward loves you. We all do."

This simple, comforting gesture had a strong effect on me, and I glanced at him and gave a watery smile.

"You would say that."

"Ok, I know why you might think that," he squeezed me reassuringly. "But it's true. You should see how we've all fallen apart without you. You're the glue that's been holding us together for seventeen years and we're a mess without it. Everyone is so sad and gloomy. We don't have fun anymore."

I cocked an eyebrow. Uncle Emmett was laying it on pretty thick. "Yeah right…"

"No, I swear, it's true." He sighed. "You should see your dad. He's the worst. He just wanders around, muttering to himself like a zombie…"

I grinned in spite of myself. "You've got to be kidding."

"Ok, maybe that's an exaggeration." He acknowledged, before adding more seriously. "But it's true that nothing is the same without you in the family, Nessie. No one is really getting on at the moment. We seem to argue more than we ever did before. And we _are_ sad. Not just your parents, but all of us. You should see your grandma, and Rose. They love you, sweetheart and they're unhappy. They think that you don't want us anymore."

Thinking about Grandma Esme and Aunt Rose made me feel sickeningly guilty. They had given me so much love and now I was making them miserable.

"I'm sorry that I'm hurting them." I winced. "But I don't know how to fix it."

"Sure you do," replied my uncle persuasively. "You could come home and make peace."

"But what about Dad? Why does the reconciliation have to come from me?"

Uncle Emmett suddenly smiled. "Well someone's got to be the adult here, Nessie. And I just don't think it's going to be Edward." He saw my shocked expression and added. "Give the guy a break, sweetheart. After all, he was frozen at the age of seventeen. He can't help being a bit immature sometimes."

"But I'm _actually_ seventeen!" I protested. "At the very least that makes us even."

"Yeah," he acknowledged with a smirk. "But everyone knows that girls are more mature than guys at that age. That's why they always want to date college boys."

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. "So what if I did visit the family... what then?"

"Just talk to them, sweetheart. That's all I'm asking."

"And what if they ask for more? I've been working really hard to build a life for myself here. Would I have to give that up?"

"If you think that we're in the position to make you give up anything, then you clearly underestimate your own power. I hate to admit it, Nessie. But we can't force you to do anything you don't want to. You're in the perfect position to negotiate your own terms."

"I don't know about that…"

"Let's face it," he sighed. "We want you, far more than you want us. You probably just see us all as killers."

Although I had said something similar to my mother, it was different to hear it from my affectionate uncle and I realised that I didn't agree with that view. I shook my head slowly.

"No… no, I don't see you that way. I'm not pretending to approve of some of the things that the family has done, but I understand that the situation is complicated and I know that you don't actually want to hurt anyone. I understand that."

"So do you think you can give us another chance?" He asked, looking hopeful.

I thought for a moment. What were my options? Was I prepared to avoid my family forever? Was I going to wait for my father to grow up before making peace? I felt a little scared, what if it all backfired? But at the same time Uncle Emmett was right. I was in the perfect position to negotiate. I had already proved that I could live without them and so I had nothing to lose and everything to gain. I looked into his honest face and tried to be reasonable.

"I need to think about it, ok? I'm not saying no. I just need a little time to consider the whole idea."

I could tell – by the way his face fell – that my uncle was slightly disappointed I hadn't instantly agreed to his suggestion, but he did is best to take it manfully.

"Um… ok, sure. You take all the time you need, sweetheart."

"I won't take forever," I explained apologetically. "I just need to know that I'm agreeing because I really want to."

I rose to my feet and Uncle Emmett followed suit. He scratched his head and gave a rueful smile.

"I guess I'd better get back to the airport, I wasn't planning on staying overnight and my flight leaves in a couple of hours."

I stepped forwards and hugged him. "I'll call you in the next few days and let you know what's going on."

"Sure." He hugged me back. "I'll be waiting for your call."

"I'm really glad you came, Uncle Emmett."

"I'm glad too. It's great to see you." He held me away from him for a second. "You're looking good, Nessie. And I don't mind admitting that it's a relief."

"You're not looking so bad yourself," I said, giving him one last hug.

After we parted, I went back to my dorm. I wasn't working that night and I could only be grateful that I had some time to consider my situation. Part of me wanted to speak to Jacob, but another part didn't want to contact him until my thoughts were a little clearer. I had no idea how he would feel about Emmett's visit. So I called Katherine instead.

I was glad that I did. She listened patiently to my dilemma, and when I asked if I should go to Illinois, she just said. "I really can't tell you what to do, Nessie. That's up to you. But I would ask you this… if you don't go to see your family now, will there ever be a right time?"

"I don't know."

"Then look at it another way. Are you prepared never to see them again? Because if you want them in your life, then I think your uncle is right and you should do this."

"I would like to see them," I admitted grudgingly as I sat down on my bed. "But why should _I_ have to make the first move?"

Kathy gave a short laugh. "You don't have to make the first move. Your uncle already did that."

I had nothing to say. She was absolutely right. Uncle Emmett had flown the whole way to Seattle to break the ice. He'd had no idea of what reception he'd get, but he'd done it anyway. If he could take a chance, then surely I could too.

"Ok, I get your point," I finally replied. "But what am I going to tell Jake?"

"How about telling him the truth?"

And that was what I did. As soon as we ended the conversation, I called him at the garage, where he was working late. I told him everything and held my breath, waiting for the explosion. I was slightly surprised when there wasn't one and asked nervously.

"Jake, are you ok?"

"Sure, I'm fine." He sounded calm.

"You're not mad, are you?"

He surprised me by saying in a speculative voice. "No, I've been expecting something like this. To be honest, I'm surprised that it took Emmett this long…"

"You're not angry that he came to see me?"

"Not really, he stayed away from the Peninsula and out of our territory, so he clearly wasn't trying to cause trouble with the pack. And I think that you needed to see him."

I bit the bullet and I blurted out. "I was thinking of going to visit my family at the weekend… would you be ok with that?"

Jake was quiet for a moment. "Yeah, I'm fine with that. I told you before that I wasn't trying to stop you from seeing them, and I meant it. I'm upholding the treaty, but that doesn't mean that I mind if you visit them…" He took a deep breath. "I want you to, Nessie. I've been aware how much you miss your family – even though you try to hide it – and I've been worried about you. I think that you need to go."

I felt relieved to hear this. "You're right," I confessed. "But I'm scared. I don't know what to say. There's so much to resolve, and I don't know if I can do that."

"You'll do fine. Just think of how you want things to be, and hold onto that." His voice softened. "I've seen what you can do when you put your mind to it, honey. You've been amazing these last few weeks… and I'm proud of you. I'll always be proud of you, no matter what. So just do what you think is right and I'll support that."

My throat tightened and I had trouble answering. "Thanks…" I whispered. "That means a lot to me."

"That's ok," he said fondly, and then a grim note entered his voice. "But if you have any problems, I swear to God, I'm coming out there to get you."

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Just to say a big thank you for the recent reviews (also thanks to the Guest reviewer, sorry I couldn't PM you) I really enjoyed reading them :)**

**Apart from that, thanks for reading and have a lovely fortnight. I actually saw the sun this week (for the first time this year!) it was surprising, but very nice, so I hope that everyone else getting some sunshine too. I'll post again in two weeks. **

**Mad :)**


	64. Nessie, youth and experience

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

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><p><strong>Thank you to my wonderful beta, willowbae, who went beyond the call of duty this week with some very last minute beta-ing :)<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 64.<strong>

**Nessie – youth and experience**

I touched down at O'Hare International on Saturday morning, and I felt more than a little nervous. Uncle Emmett had promised to meet me there. I'd had several days to think about everything and I was determined to take a positive attitude. It really helped that I had Jacob's support, and I held onto that as collected my bag and passed through the arrivals gate.

The airport was massive and very busy, with hundreds of people milling around, but I spotted Uncle Emmett almost immediately. He was standing close to the exiting throng, and Aunt Rose and my mom were waiting beside him. Aunt Rose looked her usual tall and immaculate self. She was as strikingly beautiful as ever, in a tailored red suit. My mother looked wide-eyed and vulnerable beside her, but they both wore anxious expressions.

"Nessie." Uncle Emmett pushed forwards and caught me in a bear hug. "You made it."

I hugged him back. "Thank goodness you're here," I joked. "I was worried I might be stranded at the airport with no idea of how to get to the house."

"No way." He grinned and let me go, and glanced nervously at the others. "You can see that I'm not the only one who wanted to meet you."

I wasn't entirely surprised that he'd brought company, and as I'd promised myself that this trip was about building bridges, this seemed like a good time to start. I turned to my mother and aunt, and took a deep breath.

"It was nice of you to come too." I sounded rather stiff and formal, but I was trying my best and so I added. "How have you been?"

Aunt Rose looked as if she was going to burst into tears, and she rushed towards me and pulled me into a tight hug.

"Oh Nessie. I thought you were never coming back," she choked.

"It's good to see you, Aunt Rose."

I patted her back comfortingly, and over her shoulder I caught sight of Uncle Emmett. I swear if he'd been human he would have been wiping away a tear. As it was, he bit his lip.

When she finally released me, Uncle Emmett put his arm around her shoulder and she hugged him instead, giving my mother a chance to step forward. She didn't make any move to touch me. Her eyes remained wide as they met mine.

"I'm so glad you came, Nessie." She looked me up and down, drinking in the sight of me. "I… I…"

I didn't give her the chance to finish her sentence, I wasn't even sure if she could. So I reached out and hugged her instead.

"I missed you, Mom."

"Oh Nessie…" she gasped, her voice thick with unshed tears as she clung to me.

"It's ok." I hugged her close and breathed in her familiar scent as my own tears pricked my eyes. "I'm really sorry. I should never have gone to Alaska the way I did. I'm sorry I lied. I'm sorry I scared you… I'm sorry for everything."

"No." She shook her head and refused to let go. "It should never have come to this… I'm the one who should be sorry."

I touched her face, sending her a clear picture of my feelings, showing her how much I had missed her, how much I wanted to make amends. She cupped my damp cheeks with hands.

"I missed you too, sweetheart… so much. Thank you for coming." She hugged me again.

I pulled back and met her eye nervously. "Do you think that Dad will speak to me?"

"I'm sure he will. He's missed you too, Nessie. You have no idea how much."

"I don't know what I'm going to say to him…"

My mom gave me a long look. "I'll shield your thoughts, if that makes it easier."

This was a load off my shoulders. It would be much easier to face my father without the knowledge that he was picking my brains throughout the conversation.

She glanced at Uncle Emmett and Aunt Rose. "I'll have to shield all of us before we arrive, otherwise Edward will know what we're planning before we reach the front door."

"Great." Uncle Emmett looked so relieved that I started to feel nervous again.

I had the feeling that this reunion could go very badly indeed.

Uncle Emmett drove us from the airport, and I sat in front with him, while my mother and Aunt Rose stayed out of the sunlight in the back seat. The windows of Uncle Emmett's Jeep were heavily tinted, but they didn't want to take any chances. Uncle Emmett wore a jacket, shades and a baseball cap, to protect his skin from any random beams of sunlight, but the rays weren't a problem for me, so I rolled down my window a little, to take a better look at my surroundings.

The property was situated in Lake Forest, which was an extremely affluent suburb of Chicago, north of the city by Lake Michigan. Uncle Emmett told me that he and Aunt Rose lived in a house which was closer to the city centre. He had already promised me that if the reunion went really badly, I would be staying at their place that night.

The weather during the drive was hot and sunny, and we passed dozens of massive houses and sprawling gardens with sprinklers. Everything was pristine and rich-looking, including the people. I hadn't been in such a place for a while, but it seemed appropriate for my family.

It was surprisingly comforting to know that my mind was safely cocooned as we approached my family's new home and I allowed my thoughts to wander freely. I knew almost nothing about the place and was curious to see what it would be like.

The house itself was situated on a wide, leafy avenue, not unlike the one we'd left in New Hampshire, but this house was hidden behind a high wall and solid security gates. While Uncle Emmett was typing in the security code, I glanced at him nervously. It was too late to turn back now. When the huge gates swung open and we passed through onto a long driveway, Uncle Emmett glanced at me and winked.

"Here goes nothing..."

The driveway wound through an elegant garden with sloping lawns and a number of very fine, old trees. At the end of the drive was a large house. It was a rambling old building, two stories high, gracefully overlooking the garden. I could instantly understand why my family had bought the property, it was very beautiful.

By the time that Uncle Emmett pulled up in front of the house my heart was in my throat. The others climbed out of the car, but I paused for a second and took a deep breath. As I stepped outside the front door was flung open and Grandma Esme appeared. She stopped dead at the sight of me. Her expression was absolutely stunned.

"Nessie…!" She gasped. "Nessie… you're _here!_"

I nodded, suddenly unable to speak.

She glanced from me to Uncle Emmett. "Emmett, you brought her here…?"

"She wanted to come."

Grandma Esme finally broke out of her stupor. She hurried down the stone steps and hugged Uncle Emmett.

"Thank you." She hugged him again. "Thank you for bringing her."

She released Uncle Emmett – who was looking rather embarrassed by this point – and stopped in front of me. She and looked me up and down, as if she could hardly believe her eyes.

"Nessie, you're really here? You _wanted_ to come?"

"I missed you all…"

She instantly flung her arms around me. "I can't believe it… It's a miracle!" She sounded as if she wanted to cry. "I'm so happy to see you."

I felt a little guilty. The fact that my grandmother would consider my homecoming to be _miraculous_ was touching, but also a bit of an indictment of my behaviour. Had I really seemed so intractable? The reaction of my family so far, rather implied that I had.

"I'm happy to see you too, Grandma." I hugged her back.

"Nessie, is that you?"

I heard a familiar voice and turned in time to see Grandpa Carlisle standing in the front door and a moment later my father appeared beside him.

Grandpa Carlisle glanced at my dad and moved aside, allowing him to pass. My father came out of the house and stopped at the top of the steps. If my grandma had appeared stunned, Dad looked absolutely thunderstruck. His dark eyes were wide and searching.

"Nessie…?" He whispered, glancing uncertainly around the group. "I don't understand…"

"_Edward…_"

My mother started to speak, but he shook his head as if he couldn't hear properly and I realised that he wasn't listening to her voice, he was trying to hear the thoughts around him. He glanced up up sharply, giving my mother a questioning look. I had no idea who she was still shielding.

"Bella, what's going on?"

"Nessie's come to see us," she said, stating the obvious.

He appeared frustrated and upset. "You all knew she was coming…?" He glanced around accusingly. "You've been planning this, and you said nothing to me?"

Uncle Emmett looked a little shamefaced, but Aunt Rose lifted her chin and glared at him challengingly. My mother also seemed reluctant to back down, though her manner was less confrontational and more business-like than Aunt Rose's. She stood her ground and met his accusing stare with a stubborn one of her own.

"Yes, we invited Nessie to come here. This has gone on for long enough, Edward. And we all know it."

"So, you really are in this together?" He exclaimed, wildly clutching at his hair and flinging a look of betrayal around the group. "It's nice to know that you're all in agreement!"

This remark seemed particularly aimed at Uncle Emmett. Perhaps my father felt that he should have shown a bit more brotherly loyalty.

Uncle Emmett shifted uncomfortably. "Well, um…"

"Don't bother explaining," my father snapped. "You'll be sorry to know that Bella's not shielding you anymore, so I can see _exactly_ what you've been up to."

"Come on, Edward…" my uncle protested. "I'm just trying to bring the family together again."

But my father drew himself up to his full height and answered stiffly. "Well, it seems that you've succeeded. As you all seem to managing so well without me, I'll leave you in peace."

With these words he turned and retreated into the house. For a second, no one knew what to do. I obviously wasn't the only one to have heard the hurt note in my dad's voice. Grandma Esme looked stricken and Grandpa Carlisle watched him leave with an air of concern. It was my mother who broke the silence.

"_That does it…!_" She looked uncharacteristically angry as she glared at the doorway where my father had just disappeared. "If Edward thinks he's going to walk away from this, he can just think again."

"Bella, he's just in shock… Give him some time." Grandma Esme tried to reason with her.

"He's had enough time," my mother replied sternly. "He's been moping around for weeks, and I'm not going to put up with it for another minute."

I felt a little nervous. Mom wasn't even trying to lower her voice. She was making sure that Dad would hear every word she said. A moment later, she marched into the house. The rest of the family exchanged glances as my mother swept through the door in pursuit of my father. Grandpa Carlisle was the first to speak. He approached me with a welcoming smile.

"Nessie." I hugged him and he kissed my forehead. "Thank you for coming." He glanced at the vacant doorway and frowned, before adding. "I'm so glad you're here."

"I'm not sure that Dad agrees with you," I joked, trying to pretend that I wasn't hurt by my father's greeting.

Grandpa Carlisle turned to me kindly. "I'm sorry that Edward is behaving this way. He's being very foolish, but don't be deceived, he's missed you very much. He has been very unhappy for weeks."

Grandma Esme came to stand beside Grandpa Carlisle, putting her arm around his waist and nodding in agreement.

"He has," she added fervently. "He's been miserable."

Although my dad's behaviour was in direct contradiction to their claims, I didn't want to cause any further upset by disagreeing.

"Um, ok..."

"Well." Grandpa Carlisle rallied himself. "Why don't we all go into the house, I don't think we're going to achieve anything by just standing around in the driveway."

"Yes, come inside."

Grandma Esme placed a gentle hand under my elbow and guided me towards the house. The others followed us inside. I hardly had a chance to admire the elegant hallway, before I was distracted by the sound of my parents' voices, drifting down the stairs.

"Edward." My mother spoke in a tense undertone. "What is this? What are you doing?"

"Maybe I should be asking you the same question?" Dad answered reproachfully. "Is _this_ why you've been blocking me out? Did you enjoy going behind my back?"

Grandpa Carlisle led us into an airy day room, beautifully furnished and filled with flowers. Everyone looked a little uncomfortable as the voices upstairs rose, but no one bothered to pretend that they weren't listening to my parents' showdown.

"For goodness sake, Edward." My mother sounded at the end of her tether. "You've been miserable for weeks, telling me how much you miss Nessie. And yet, when she flies all the way from Seattle to see you, you turn your back and walk away! How could you do that to her? How _could_ you?"

"That's right, turn _me_ into the villain. But you should remember I'm not the one who's been hiding their thoughts. I'm not the one who lied."

It was the very first time that I had heard them really argue, and I had to admit that they were making a pretty good job of it, for a couple with so little practice. I found it slightly unnerving. I glanced at Grandpa Carlisle who was standing beside me, wearing a slight frown. He caught my eye and gave me a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

The battle upstairs continued, as my mother snapped. "Don't be ridiculous. No one thinks you're a villain. We just think that it's about time you made peace with your daughter."

"Oh, I see. You've all agreed that it's _my_ fault," my dad exclaimed bitterly.

"This isn't about you. This is about Renesmee. She had the courage to come here and face us after everything that happened, after everything we said to her, and look at the way you're behaving."

"What did you expect? I had no idea that she was coming. You wanted to put me at a disadvantage, Bella, otherwise you would have told me what you were planning. You should have expected this reaction. And I notice that you're still shielding her thoughts."

"Yes, I am shielding her. I let her down when she needed me. I failed her and I can't tell you how much I regret the fact. I owe her this much now."

"By taking sides against me?"

"No, by giving Nessie the chance to face her father on even terms. For once in her life she's going to speak to you just the way every other child speaks to their parents. She's earned the right to that privacy. I'm just sorry if you feel you need that mental advantage."

"It doesn't matter, anyway." He replied sulkily. "I know how she feels without reading her mind. She didn't come here to see me."

My mother finally lost her temper. "Edward Cullen, I've listened to your complaints for weeks," she hissed. "Well, I want my daughter back. And if you don't make the effort to speak to her now, _I will never forgive you…!_"

This threat was followed by the sound of a slamming door and quick footsteps in the hallway.

"Bella, wait…!" My father called after her, following in hot pursuit.

But she just continued walking. "No, Edward. I've told you what I think." She marched down the hall and I heard her footsteps on the stairs. "There's nothing more to say."

I caught sight of Uncle Emmett's cheerful expression as he murmured under his breath. "Way to go, Bella."

He seemed to be enjoying this quarrel entirely too much. In fact, when I glanced around, I noticed that – apart from me – the only person who actually looked concerned was Grandma Esme. She was standing near the window, with her hands anxiously clasped together and a fraught expression on her face. Grandpa Carlisle saw her reaction and crossed the room, taking her hands in a comforting hold.

"There's nothing to worry about, my dear."

"Oh, Carlisle…" Her wide eyes met his. "I've never heard them like this before."

A small smile twisted on his lips. "Well, there's a first time for everything. After all, no one could be expected to spend an eternity together without the occasional spat."

This seemed a reasonable point, but then I tried to imagine my grandparents having a 'spat' and found it utterly impossible to do. Before I could get any further with this train of thought, I was distracted by the arrival of my mother. She entered the room and glanced at the assembled company. Her expression was determined.

"Would you mind very much giving us a moment alone? Edward would like to speak to Nessie."

Grandpa Carlisle was the first to unfreeze. "Of course."

He moved towards the door, quickly followed by Grandma Esme, who threw me a compassionate glance as she passed. Uncle Emmett seemed uncertain and lingered for a moment, unsure if he should comply with the request. Aunt Rose looked positively mutinous, until my mother met her eye.

"Please, Rosalie…" she pleaded quietly.

Aunt Rose looked as if she might argue, but Uncle Emmett took her arm and gently propelled her out of the room. Just before she passed through the door, she looked over her shoulder and nodded meaningfully in my direction.

"If you need me, just yell."

I felt more than a little nervous to find myself facing my parents alone, but I took a deep breath and steeled myself to the task ahead. No one ever said that building bridges was easy, but I had to start somewhere. And at least my mother was shielding my thoughts. I took consolation from this knowledge and turned to the door just as my father entered the room.

He stood in the doorway with his head lowered, looking uneasy and saying nothing. I watched him silently, taking note of his appearance, and at that moment I had a true revelation. I don't know if it was caused by our time apart, or the changes I had experienced in my own life, but I suddenly saw my father as the rest of the world saw him.

He was wearing dark pants and a stylish casual shirt. His hair looked a little wilder than usual, dishevelled locks falling over his brow, giving him the appearance of a handsome, but slightly sullen, teenager.

I realised that, although my parents had looked like impossibly beautiful adolescents for my whole life, I was still used to seeing them in the role of mother and father. To me they had always seemed old and wise, but as I watched my father, for the very first time I saw someone who was young and fallible.

Uncle Emmett's remark about my father being frozen at seventeen finally made sense to me. And when my dad entered the room with all the reluctance of a teenager who had just received a good telling-off – which, I suppose, he had – I actually found myself feeling slightly sorry for him.

I was extremely grateful for the mental shield; I had a feeling that he wouldn't be especially flattered by my new perception. My mother eyed him closely, looking more than a little grim, and my sympathy for my dad increased a notch.

I felt a little nervous about speaking, until another of Uncle Emmett's comments replayed in my head. Someone needed to be the adult. Could that someone be me?

My thoughts flew wildly. What would a mature person do at a moment like this? How would they resolve their problems?

That's when it occurred to me that a mature person would probably take some responsibility for their own mistakes. There was a part of me that rebelled against admitting that I wasn't completely perfect, as if it was an admission of defeat. But when I glanced at my dad, I realised that I wasn't the one who was looking defeated. The whole family had taken sides against him, including my mother, so surely I could afford to make the first move.

I took a firm step forward. "Hi."

My dad watched me warily. "Hello, Renesmee."

This was no time to be a shrinking violet; I needed to speak my mind. I thought for a second, choosing my words carefully. I wasn't about to apologise for sleeping with Jake, because I wasn't remotely sorry for that, and I wasn't going to say sorry for supporting him over the treaty either, because Jacob was in the right, and so I stuck to apologising for the things that I actually regretted.

"Thank you for seeing me," I began. My father looked a little surprised and I continued determinedly. "I wanted to tell you that I'm very sorry for going to Alaska without telling you, and for making you and Mom worry. I should never have snuck off like that. It was a stupid and selfish thing to do, and caused the worst kind of trouble. I want you to know that if I could take it back, I would. And I just hope that you'll be able to forgive me for my lies and for what I put you all through."

I could say with my hand on my heart that this apology was sincere. I _was_ sorry for being dishonest and for making my family feel so worried. If I hadn't behaved like such an idiot, my friends would never have been attacked. I had made Jake, Katherine and Leo suffer. I had put them in terrible danger and could have got them all killed. I had made my family suffer too, and I was deeply sorry for it. I had no doubt that would carry a burden of guilt for the rest of my life.

My father looked shocked and he glanced from me to my mother with obvious confusion. Her expression softened and she spoke quietly.

"Edward, aren't you going to say something?"

"I... I don't know what to say." He looked back at me. "You want me to forgive you?"

"Yes, I do." I lifted my chin, I was prepared to apologise but I wasn't going to grovel. "Do you think you can?"

He narrowed his eyes and speculated. "Do you think I _should_ forgive you?"

I stood my ground, telling the truth. "I'm not saying that you should, but I hope you will."

"_Edward…_"

My mother sounded reproachful, but my father ignored her and watched me closely and added.

"Because most of the family believes that if anyone needs to ask forgiveness, it should be me."

I wasn't sure where he was going with this, but I was reluctant to enter into mind games and so I just tried to answer honestly.

"I can't speak for anyone else. And I didn't come here seeking an apology from you. I came to say sorry. That's all. There's nothing else."

That was the truth. I didn't expect my father to say sorry. It didn't matter anyway. The only things that mattered to me were being able to live my life the way I wanted, and maintaining some kind of relationship with my family. I didn't need my dad to apologise, for those things to happen.

He stared at me with a pensive expression. "You nearly died because I asked you to lie, and yet you don't want me to say sorry?"

I shrugged and glanced away. "You make it sound like I should want payback."

"Not payback," he said quietly. "It would be justice."

"That just sounds like pettiness to me."

He frowned and moved a step closer. "Because of my mistakes you've had to cope with some very difficult situations. You were attacked and you nearly died. You've had to earn your own living without our support. No one would consider those problems petty, Renesmee. Wanting some acknowledgement of the truth wouldn't be petty either."

"I don't know." I watched at him cautiously, afraid that this was some kind of trick. "But, I'm not asking for anything, except your forgiveness."

He stopped in front of me, staring down remorsefully. "Of course I forgive you, Nessie. You're my daughter and I love you. I'm only sorry if you believe that I don't. I blame myself for that."

The tears stung my eyes before I could stop them, and I managed to answer despite the lump in my throat.

"Thank you. That means a lot." I brushed my eyes.

My father took my hand. "But can you forgive me? I'm sorry for asking you to lie. I should never have put you in that position, it wasn't fair and it placed you in terrible danger. I'm sorry for everything I said when I last saw you."

I stared at him in surprise. I couldn't believe that my father was actually admitting to a fault.

He gave a wry smile. "I can see you're surprised."

"No… um… yeah, maybe a little..." I stammered self-consciously. "But you don't need to apologise, Dad. It's fine, it really is. I'm not angry anymore… so don't worry about it. And I definitely forgive you, if you want me to."

But it seemed that he was now determined to say it all. "I shouldn't have accused Jacob either. I know how he feels about you. I know that he always puts your welfare first and what I said to him was very unjust, especially since he saved your life. I was shocked and upset, but I shouldn't have taken it out on either of you. I was wrong."

"Thanks, I appreciate you telling me that." I replied. "But it's really between the two of you, you know, with the pack and everything." I shifted from one foot to another, adding hurriedly. "I should probably mention that Jake still wants to uphold the treaty… for now, at least."

"I'm not surprised." My dad looked a little guilty. "After what happened, it might take a long time for the wolves to trust our family again. We all regret the fact, but I don't think we can blame them for feeling that way. We _are_ dangerous and they can't afford to ignore the risk we pose, they have to protect their people."

"I guess so." I answered with polite evasion, although he was right and we both knew it.

"Anyway, I hope that maybe we can put this behind us and start again." My dad looked hopeful.

"Sure…" I gave a small nod. "That would be nice."

I sighed, feeling very relieved that things hadn't deteriorated into an unpleasant shouting match. My father's expression became a little cautious.

"Are you sure you're ok with this, Nessie? You really want it?" He asked nervously. "You can still have the family without me, you know. It's obvious that they want you."

I was surprised to see how unsure my father still appeared to be. Yet again, his behaviour reminded me of an inexperienced teenager, and I felt a wave of compassion. He was trying his best, but this was uncharted territory for him too. I glanced at my mother and did the only thing I could to prove my sincerity.

"Mom, could you take the shields down, please."

I stared unflinchingly into my father's eyes, as he looked into my mind. There was nothing he couldn't see, nothing he couldn't judge, if he wanted to. I hoped that he would see my love for him and the family, and not be distracted by anything else that might be rattling around in there.

He didn't speak and I shifted uncomfortably. Maybe he didn't like what he saw. But, before I could get any further with that depressing line of thought, my father pulled me into his arms. He could barely contain his emotions as he hugged me tightly.

"I'm so sorry, Nessie. Thank you for coming back."

Before I could answer him, I heard the door open and a familiar voice in the background.

"_Nessie_."

I lifted my head from my father's chest, and saw Aunt Alice peering around the doorway. She glanced from my mother to me and stepped into the room with a relieved smile.

"Thank goodness! I couldn't see the future this weekend. It was all snarled up. I hoped it was because you were going to visit, Nessie. It was either that, or the family was going to be in serious trouble."

My father glanced at her quizzically. "How did you hide it from me?"

She shrugged her small shoulders. "Practice."

I was pleased to see her looking her usual stylish self, and smiled. "How are you, Aunt Alice."

"I'm fine, thank you. It's so good to see you, sweetheart." She hurried to my side and hugged me, before holding me away from her and critically looking me up and down.

"But I've been so worried about you… I can't imagine what kind of state your wardrobe is in."

I had to smile. Of all the things to worry about, she'd chosen that. I noticed that my mom was smiling too.

"It's ok, Aunt Alice. I've got a job." I could see that she was about to dismiss my capacity to pay for designer labels, so I quickly added. "And I've still got all my old clothes."

"I still can't believe you've been forced to live this way for weeks." She threw my father a reproachful glare. "It's positively barbaric."

My mother laughed. "Nessie still has far more beautiful clothes than I did when we first met."

"Don't remind me…" Aunt Alice shuddered, clearly reliving the traumatic memory, and then she looked at me and a happy smile broke through. "Well, we don't have to worry about any of that now. I can get Nessie's new credit cards ordered today." She squeezed my hand reassuringly. "You'll have them by the end of the weekend, I promise."

I didn't quite know what to say. I didn't want to hurt her feelings. I didn't want to hurt any of my family, especially since our truce was so new. I lowered my eyes and tried to find the words.

"Um… I was meaning to talk to you about that…"

"I'm not surprised; you must feel so sick of being poor."

I knew that Aunt Alice wasn't trying to be tactless, she was just being honest, but that didn't stop me from feeling awkward and embarrassed.

"No… it's not that… it's just..."

I didn't know how to continue. How could I tell her that things had changed? However much I loved my family, the scales had fallen from my eyes, showing me the darker side of their existence, and I couldn't unlearn the truth. There was too much blood on their hands for me to take their money with a clear conscience. I could love them freely, but that was all. I couldn't accept their financial support.

I glanced at my father. He must have read my mind, because his expression was sombre. I thought that he might be angry with me, but instead of saying something critical, he stepped into the breach.

"Alice." He spoke quietly. "I think that Nessie's trying to say that she doesn't want any money from the family."

Aunt Alice stared at him incredulously. "What are you talking about, Edward? Of course she does." She turned to me. "Don't you, Nessie?"

I shook my head guiltily. "No, I'm sorry. I don't."

"But… but… why not…?"

She glanced from one to the other of us, looking very taken aback. I didn't know what else to say. I didn't want to hurt her feelings by being too specific. Thankfully, I was spared any unpleasant explanations by my father, who put his arm around my shoulders and replied with a note of finality.

"It doesn't matter why not. The main thing is that she's here with us now."

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Hello again! *Phew* I honestly can't believe I got this chapter sorted in time (if you find any typos, please feel free to point them out).**

**Thank you to everyone who added this story to their lists or reviewed last time (including Olivia, nice to hear from you, sorry I can't PM). The feedback is always lovely.**

**Anyway, have a great fortnight, I'll post again in two weeks and get the plot moving again ;)**

**Mad :)**


	65. Nessie, temptation

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

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><p><strong>A huge thanks to my loyal beta, willowbae, for all her advice. :)<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 65.<strong>

**Nessie – temptation**

By lunchtime, everyone was getting along very well. Uncle Emmett had remembered to buy my favourite human food, and the rest of the family sat around the dining room table, chatting to me, while I ate.

The conversation steered clear of any sensitive subjects and we just talked about the small things that had happened in our time apart. I told my family how Seth's wedding plans were progressing and what Grandpa had caught on his last fishing trip, and they told me about the church bake sale and the new hospital.

After lunch my mother briefly showed me around the house, and I had the chance to see the very quaint bedroom where I'd be sleeping. Afterwards Grandma Esme gave me a tour of the sunny garden, and then we went into the living room for afternoon tea.

But, amidst this family gathering and reconciliation, there was still one notable absence. I'd hoped that, since we were all trying to make amends, Uncle Jasper might make an appearance, but he didn't. I said nothing at first, but my curiosity finally got the better of me and I asked.

"Where's Uncle Jasper?"

Everyone looked a little awkward – apart from Aunt Alice, who just looked plain miserable – and my father finally answered me.

"He's in the attic."

"What?" I exclaimed in surprise. I wasn't entirely sure if my dad was joking. "Are you serious?"

I knew my family were old-fashioned, but surely they weren't archaic enough to banish Uncle Jasper to the attic. My father picked up on my thoughts and gave a slight smile.

"No, it's nothing like that. He's there of his own accord."

"What on earth is he doing there?"

My mother put her arm around Aunt Alice's shoulders and answered gently. "He wanted to stay out of the way, and thought it would be the best place to go."

The idea, that my uncle was pointedly avoiding me, really hurt.

"Oh..." I tried to hide my pain. "Ok…"

Of course, my father wasn't fooled. "Jasper's not avoiding you, Renesmee." His voice dropped to less than a whisper. "Well, not for the reasons you think. He would like to see you. He'd like it very much. He's just worried that you don't want to see him."

"Is that really true?"

My dad nodded solemnly. "Absolutely."

Aunt Alice suddenly broke in. "He's so sorry, Nessie. I can't tell you how much." She was also speaking in an undertone, but it sounded as if she was only just holding her feelings in check. "He's been _torturing_ himself for weeks. Please don't hate him forever."

I shook my head in surprise. "I don't hate him. I never did." I looked at my family reproachfully. "Things might have been difficult, but I never said that I hated any of you. How can you even _think_ that?"

At least my relatives had the decency to look a little shamefaced. Luckily, Grandma Esme stepped into the breach.

"Why don't you speak to Jasper? Tell him how you feel… It would make such a difference."

"Sure." I nodded firmly and then threw a defiant glance around the room. "Just show me the way to the attic."

Grandma Esme showed me upstairs. I was glad that she did. The house was large and rambling, in the idiosyncratic way of an old building, and the attic was situated at the top of a winding flight of stairs in a corner of one of the smaller landings. I might have taken some time to find it by myself. She left me at the bottom of the stairs, and before she turned away, she kissed my cheek.

"Thank you for coming back, Nessie. We all missed you."

Her affectionate gesture gave me the nerve I needed to climb the steps and knock on the attic door.

"Uncle Jasper, are you there?" I gently pushed the door open.

I was relieved to discover that the attic wasn't the cobwebbed, gothic nightmare that I had envisaged. It was, in fact, a neat gabled room, painted in soft creamy yellow, with small windows dotted along the roof, and a large dormer window at the far end. The room was decorated in an old-fashioned rustic style, with a polished wooden desk and a comfortable looking window seat.

Uncle Jasper rose from that seat as I entered the room. "Nessie."

He looked stiff and uneasy as I came forward. I tried to stay relaxed, knowing how attuned he would be to my feelings, and gave him a tentative smile.

"Hi... I hope you don't mind me coming up to say 'hello.'"

He seemed surprised. "No, of course not."

"This is nice." I glanced around and moved further into the room. "Mom took me on a short tour of the house, but I haven't seen everything yet."

Uncle Jasper watched silently, as I crossed over to the dormer window and peered outside.

"That's a pretty view," I added. We were high enough to see right across the beautiful old garden. "Grandma Esme must love those trees."

"She does."

I turned towards him. "So… how have you been?"

Uncle Jasper looked slightly ashamed. "That's what I should be asking you."

"I don't know about that." I gave a shrug. "It hasn't been an easy few months for any of us. But I'm ok. Are you…?"

Uncle Jasper sat back down on the long window seat with a sigh. "Honestly, I don't know." He glanced up. "Some days I'm fine, I can pretend that nothing happened, and everything feels almost normal. But other times I feel so guilty that I can hardly move."

I sat down on the window seat too. Idly picking up the quilted cushion which lay beside me, I began to inspect it. I kept my voice casual.

"I guess you feel pretty bad about… about what happened with that girl…"

He nodded mutely and took long time to answer. "Yeah… I feel really bad about that. But I feel awful for what you went through as well… and your fight with your mom and dad. I never meant for any of it to happen."

"Don't feel bad for me. The stuff with Mom and Dad… well you didn't force any of us to act the way we did. We all have plenty to be sorry for too. I feel bad for getting so angry with Dad, and I feel bad that I went to Alaska and put Jake and the others in danger."

Uncle Jasper frowned. "You can't feel guilty for that. It's not your fault that you were attacked."

"Maybe not, but that doesn't mean that I don't feel bad. I still think about it every day. I still feel terrible. I told some lies to get myself there in the first place, and Jake and my friend Katherine were injured. They could have been killed."

"But not by you," he insisted.

"Or by _you_." I replied. "But that doesn't stop you feeling guilty either."

He gave me a long look. "Is that why you're still talking to me?"

"Partly, but mainly I'm still talking to you because you're my uncle and I love you."

Uncle Jasper leaned forwards; resting is elbows on his knees and dropping his head into his hands. "You don't even know me, Nessie. If you did, you wouldn't feel that way."

I took a deep breath. "So tell me."

He glanced up sharply, meeting my gaze. "Tell you what?"

"Tell me what happened. Tell me how you came to attack that girl."

"You don't know what you're asking." He looked horrified.

"Maybe not, but I'm asking it anyway, because I don't think our family is ever going to get past any of this, if we can't be honest with each other. I'm not asking you to give me a blow-by-blow account, but I would like to understand what happened, how you came to lose control."

Uncle Jasper fell silent for a moment and I wondered if he was going to answer. But his expression suddenly changed, and he gave me a penetrating look.

"Have you ever been _really_ thirsty, Nessie? I mean, for human blood."

When I was a baby I had felt mild desire for human blood, but nothing especially overwhelming. I hadn't experience that kind of temptation until my first meeting with Marie. I had falsely believed her to be a rival for Jacob's affections, and had been shockingly jealous. It was the one and only time I had actually wanted to attack a human. I could remember the agonising flash of thirst.

Uncle Jasper sensed my feelings. "So you have?"

"Yes, I felt that way once."

"Well, I feel that way every day. Every single day I have to fight the temptation. When I smell human blood, my throat _always_ burns."

"Are you serious?" I was shocked.

He suddenly looked weary. "_All_ vampires feel that way."

"I had no idea it was so bad. I've never heard anyone in the family say that before."

"Vegetarians grow accustomed to the diet and our urges lessen, but they never disappear completely. The others feel it too. They just have better control than me," he added bitterly. "But they still feel it."

"Why didn't anyone tell me?" I felt a little betrayed.

"It's a touchy subject… for all of us. We don't like talking about it with each other, let alone with you, darlin'. And we want to protect you."

I took a moment to digest this new revelation. Every member of my family suffered the pain of thirst every single day of their lives. I had a feeling that I might need to give this information some serious consideration, before I could digest it properly, but this was not the time, so I returned to the main point.

"So your thirst got too much for you?"

"I was stupid and careless and insanely overconfident. I allowed myself to become hungrier than I should have. I thought I would be ok, but I was taken by surprise."

"How so?"

"I was taking an early morning walk, and this girl cycled past. She didn't look more than eighteen or nineteen. I don't know quite how it happened, maybe she was just startled to see me, but she hit a bump in the road and fell off her bike. She grazed her leg, Nessie. It was almost nothing, but that was all it took. I wasn't expecting it and didn't have any time to prepare myself for the smell of blood. I attacked before I had a chance to think, she was dead within seconds…" Uncle Jasper looked stricken.

Surprisingly, I was more sad than horrified. "So what happened next?"

"I called Carlisle to help me with the body."

"What did you do with her?" I forced the question past the lump in my throat. "Did you hide her body?"

"We probably should have, but we couldn't. Neither of us could stand the thought of her family waiting for years, never knowing what happened. God knows what horrors they would have been left imagining. Knowing their daughter had suffered a quick death would have been a blessing in comparison. So we left her and her bicycle in the forest a couple of miles away, near a busy trail, and made it look like an animal attack. I know she was found. I saw it in the local news."

This story left me feeling shocked, sickened and deeply unhappy. What a waste of a young life. What a tragedy for her family. Their daughter was never coming home. I didn't need Uncle Jasper's gift to feel the waves of guilt and regret which rolled off him. I found myself hugging the quilted cushion to my chest, as the tears spilled over.

"So… you know her name?"

"I do."

"Please…" I whispered through the tears. "Don't tell me. I don't ever want to know it."

He didn't reply, but the remorse in his eyes spoke volumes. After that we sat quietly for a long time. Uncle Jasper finally broke the silence.

"So, now you know what I am." His expression was closed, as if he had already accepted my rejection.

"Thank you for telling me." I replied steadily. "I'm sorry for what happened."

He eyed me with caution. "But it _has_ changed the way you see me."

"Yes…" I nodded slowly. "I suppose it was inevitable that it would. And it will take a long time to get over this. But if you think that it will stop me caring about you, then you're wrong. These past few months I've been learning that _nothing_ is what I thought it was. There is so much darkness in our world. It's been a lot to come to terms with, but I'm learning to live with it."

My stoical uncle's voice was filled with emotion. "I never wanted that darkness to touch you, Nessie. None of us did."

"I don't think that we were ever going to have a choice in the matter. It seems to me that if you have any vampire blood, that darkness will invariably creep into your life. Maybe it's the price we pay for our gifts, I don't know. But I do know that my feelings haven't changed. I still love the same people. And I hope their feelings for me haven't changed either…"

I gently slipped one hand in his and gave it a light squeeze. Uncle Jasper looked surprised, but it didn't stop him from squeezing it back.

"They still love you too, Nessie."

"Thank you."

At the end of the weekend I returned to Washington, after making many promises to return again soon. Everyone seemed very sad to see me go, and I felt the same way. I knew that it might take a long time to accept everything that had happened, but I felt sure that we were all taking a step in the right direction.

Jacob met me at Sea Tac and we stayed the night at Leah's apartment, which gave us a chance to talk about my visit to Illinois. We didn't discuss my trip until after dinner, when we went to the guest room. I could tell that Jake was a little uneasy, which was understandable, so I just sat on his lap and showed him a complete memory of my weekend. As soon as I lifted my hand away, I asked.

"So… what do you think?"

He put his arms around me and gave a thoughtful frown. "It looks like everything went well."

"Is that a problem?" I gazed at him uncertainly.

He held me a little tighter and shook his head. "No, I'm glad that things are working out for you… I really am."

Jake sounded sincere, but I was still unsure. "But…?"

He replied cautiously, watching my reaction. "But I still want to uphold the treaty… at least, for the moment."

"Sure." I nodded slowly. "That's fine with me. I wasn't expecting everything to change overnight. I know it might take a long time for things to mend. Maybe they never will. But it's ok. I understand how you feel, so don't worry about it. You know I already told my Dad the same thing about the treaty, and I was telling the truth."

"That's good to hear." Jacob looked relieved and hugged me tightly. "I really am happy for you, honey. And I don't want you to worry about taking sides. I meant what I said before you went to Illinois. I just want you to do what's right for you. That's what makes me happy."

"Is that because you imprinted on me?" I teased, resting my head on his shoulder with a contented sigh.

Jake lifted his hand to my cheek and kissed me tenderly. "It's because I love you."

I kissed him back. "I love you too."

Jacob and the wolves weren't the only people who were interested in the news of my family's reconciliation. Although it might have received a mixed reaction from the pack – though Jake never told me if it did – there were two people who expressed nothing but undiluted pleasure at the news. Grandpa was extremely pleased when I told him, and so was Katherine.

Katherine was still living in Edmonton, and I contacted her during the week. I called her in the early afternoon, when Kristy was out and I had our room all to myself. I knew that Katherine's evening shift at work wasn't due to start for a few hours, and I wasn't surprised when she answered the phone within a couple of rings.

She knew all about my trip to see my family. She'd encouraged me to go, and I could tell that she'd been worried about the outcome. I gave her a blow-by-blow account of my visit. Katherine didn't say much until I had finished, when she gave a huge sigh of relief.

"Oh, Nessie. I can't tell you how glad I am to hear it went well." There was no disguising her sincerity. She sounded even happier than I expected.

"Well, it's only early days, but it's a start…" I mumbled self-consciously.

"I know, but it's a very good one." She agreed. "You'll work things out, I know you will."

"Do you think I did the right thing, refusing to take any money?" I asked nervously.

Katherine fell silent for a moment, considering my question. When she finally answered, her tone was serious.

"Yes. Yes, I do. I think it will help you rebuild on even terms. You'll always know that you're working on the relationship because you really _want_ to, not just because you're financially dependent." She then added kindly. "You've been doing pretty well on your own. By standing on your own two feet, I'm sure that you've gained real respect in the eyes of those who love you, Nessie. Jake already told me how proud he feels of everything you've achieved, and I'm sure he's not the only one."

"Thanks," I blushed. "I don't know if that's true… but it's nice of you to say, anyway."

I could hear the smile in her voice. "Don't worry; I'm not just being nice. It's the truth."

She proceeded to ask me about Jake and my week at college, and I told her what had been going on. The most noteworthy occurrence of the week had been Professor Leary's mysterious absence from all his classes. His short-term replacement, Professor Gibson, had been very tight-lipped when it came to giving any explanations, but our department was rife with rumours, each one wilder than the last. But every rumour contained the same basic thread, that he'd been suspended for misconduct.

Katherine listened politely, making the occasional comment, but she gradually grew quieter and quieter. I felt a little worried, wondering if something was wrong.

"Katherine, are you ok?"

There was a slight pause, before she replied. "Yeah, I'm ok. I've just got a few things on my mind, that's all."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing serious." She sounded slightly unsure, and then took a steadying breath. "The thing is… I was wondering if you'd be ok, if I went away for a little while."

"What do you mean?" I asked in surprise. This seemed rather out of the blue.

"I was thinking of taking a break," she explained tentatively. "Maybe going north. I'd probably be out of easy communication."

There was something that she wasn't telling me. I could hear it in her voice.

"You want a vacation?" I asked suspiciously.

"Um… yeah. That's right."

"What about your job?"

"I've already saved some money. I can manage without one for a few months, so that's not a problem."

"I don't understand…" I couldn't get my head around this sudden new development. "Why do you want to go away now?"

"Come on, Nessie. It's no big deal. I just need to know if you'll be ok. I won't go anywhere if you want me to stick around."

I tried to ignore my own confusion and concentrate on Katherine's question. Would I be alright if she went away? I had relied on her heavily for weeks. She had provided constant support and advice. A week ago my answer might have been different, but now I could say with complete sincerity.

"I'll be fine." The truce with my family had made all the difference in the world, but I didn't want her to think that I only wanted her around for moral support. "But I'll miss you if you go on vacation."

Katherine didn't sound offended, she actually sounded relieved. "I'll miss you too, but I'm glad if you think you'll be alright."

"Thanks," I replied gratefully. "I'm sure I will be."

"That takes a load off my mind."

"So… how long do you think you'll be gone?" I hoped that she was only considering going away for a couple of weeks.

"I don't know, a while maybe…"

Although Katherine was a reserved person, she wasn't usually secretive. Her evasions were only reinforcing my gut feeling that she was hiding something, and I couldn't help but be concerned. I didn't want to pry, but I couldn't help myself.

"Katherine, what's wrong? Why do you suddenly want a vacation?"

"To be honest, it's not a sudden decision. I have been thinking about it for a while."

"Why? I thought things were going well in Edmonton."

"Yeah, I wish it was that simple," she replied cryptically.

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing… I don't mean anything. I'm just worn out and talking crap."

I was tempted to back off, but when I thought about all the times that Katherine had helped me, I just couldn't do it. I couldn't turn a blind eye when I knew that something was wrong. What kind of friend would that make me?

"Please, Katherine, talk to me. Tell me what's going on. If you don't, I'll probably imagine that things are worse than they really are. You know how I always get carried away."

"I'm sorry to worry you, Nessie. That's the last thing I want to do. But, I don't know what to say," she replied. "How can I tell you what's wrong with me, when I can hardly explain it to myself?"

"What do you mean?" I asked gently.

Katherine gave a defeated sigh. "I'm changing inside… and I don't know what to do. It's hard to describe it, but the best way is to say that I feel as if my humanity is slipping away. It shows itself in subtle ways, but I can see the difference. Like, I can't sleep anymore. Instead of falling into a trance, I just lie in bed, staring at the ceiling."

"How long has this been going on?"

Her voice held a raw edge of pain. "I've been this way for weeks. I haven't been able to relax since Alaska… And it's getting worse. I know I'm losing myself and it scares me. When I get in from work, I go to bed and try to sleep for a few hours. But all I do is lie awake, night after night.

"It's driving me crazy; I can't concentrate or unwind. My mind plays tricks on me and I actually find myself wondering why I don't feed on human blood. I swear there are moments when I can hardly remember the reason. But I know… I _know_ it's wrong. I just don't understand why this is happening to me now."

Katherine took a deep, steadying breath. "I'm sorry, Nessie. I know this isn't exactly something you need to hear, but I don't know what else to say. This is why I need a vacation. I have to get far away from humans right now, because if I don't, I'll end up hurting someone. I can live with being a vampire, but I can't live with being a murderer too."

I fell into silence, shocked by my friend's words. Katherine was one of the most human vampires I'd ever met and it was deeply disturbing to hear her confession. It hardly seemed possible that she could feel this way. Had the world turned upside-down?

As the silence stretched out, I knew I had to say something, but I could hardly think what. I didn't want her to know how truly shaken I was, and when I finally spoke, I tried to keep the anxiety out of my voice.

"I'm so sorry, Katherine. I wish there was something I could do…"

"There is." She answered more calmly. "You can promise me that you'll look after yourself while I'm away. Promise me that I won't need to worry that you're ok."

"Sure, I can do that. But how long will you be gone?"

"I don't know. I probably just need some time in a quiet place, to get my head in order. A few weeks of seclusion and I'll be dying to come back to civilisation."

I appreciated her efforts to sound positive, but I was still very concerned. I didn't want my friend to go away. I knew that I'd be worried if there was no way to get in contact, but on the other hand, I'd seen the consequences when a vegetarian vampire lost control. I had witnessed my uncle's guilt and unhappiness, and heard his grim account of the attack.

There seemed little point in trying to dissuade Katherine from going, if staying had become so risky. At least if she was far away from humans she couldn't harm them. And she'd made it very clear that she was balancing right on the edge. I wondered why Katherine had stuck around for so long, until I realised that she'd done it for me, because she didn't want to let me down.

This knowledge made me feel ashamed. I had been so oblivious. Looking back on our recent conversations, I realised that we had _always_ talked about me, my life, my relationships, my problems.

Me, me, _me_.

If I'd asked how she was, it had always been with the assumption that she'd tell me she was 'fine'. I had never questioned that she might be lonely, or unhappy. Katherine was a reserved person, but I could hardly claim to have tried very hard to discover how she was actually feeling. A wave of remorse crashed over me.

"Oh, Katherine. I'm so sorry. I should have been there for you. I've been such a terrible friend."

She seemed genuinely surprised by my outburst. "Are you kidding? You've been a great friend."

"I should have noticed that something was wrong."

"No, you've had a lot to deal with. Please, don't go beating yourself up when you really don't need to, especially as everything is going to be fine."

"You don't know that, Katherine," I protested. "What if you lose control?"

Even as the words left my mouth, I regretted them. Did Katherine really need to hear that? She took a moment to reply, answering in a low, apologetic voice.

"I know I'm failing right now, Nessie. But I'll be myself again. I promise."

I winced. God, could I have been more insensitive? I had reduced my loyal friend – one who had supported me through the most traumatic period of my life – to apologising for being a failure. Katherine had repeatedly shown stoicism and self-restraint when dealing with her own problems, and on this rare occasion, when she had admitted that she was struggling, I had displayed nothing but a crass lack of faith. Shame twisted in my chest.

"I'm sorry, Katherine. I shouldn't have said that, it was unfair. I know you'll be fine. After all, you've survived this long without human blood. The temptation must have been much worse when you were a newborn. But you got through it."

"That's right…" She suddenly sounded unbelievably weary. "When I was a newborn I fought the temptation with every part of my being. But these days I can hardly summon the energy to give a damn." Katherine gave a mirthless laugh. "Sorry. I guess it's not surprising you're worried, when I keep saying stupid things like that."

"No, it's fine. I'm just glad that you can still tell me the truth."

"It's just a shame that the truth isn't very pretty right now…"

"So," I said, turning the conversation to more practical matters. "When will you leave Edmonton?"

She responded calmly. "I'll hand in my notice at the bar tonight, and leave at the end of the week. My boss has been good to me. I don't want to leave him completely high and dry with no warning."

"Will you be able to handle those extra days."

"Yeah, I'll be ok. It will make it easier to take the next few days, now that I've got a plan." I could hear the purposeful note in her voice.

"And you promise to get in touch, when you can?" I asked anxiously.

I understood that Katherine wanted to go somewhere really remote, but I hoped she would call me if she had the opportunity.

"I promise," she replied solemnly. "But don't worry about that just yet; I'll speak to you again before I leave."

"Ok, fine."

Katherine kept her word and called me at the end of the week, just before she left Edmonton. She still planned to head north, and although she didn't specify exactly where she was going, I believed her promise to call me when she could. She said that it might not be for a while, but assured me not to worry until then. I was very sad that she was leaving, but I made no effort to stop her. I just wished her well and said that I would eagerly await a call.

When I spoke to Jake about what she was planning, he agreed that she was doing the right thing.

"If she thinks that she might attack someone, then she doesn't really have a choice," he said, taking the practical approach.

"I know… but I can't help feeling anxious."

This was true; there was a nagging worry in my heart. I couldn't escape the feeling that I should be doing more to help, instead of standing back and watching her walk away. It didn't help that I had no one else to speak to about it.

My family didn't know Katherine, and I suspected that after my disastrous trip to Alaska and the subsequent fight with my parents, they were slightly prejudiced against her. It was unfair, but my father seemed to have partially blamed her for our family problems, and his distrust had filtered through to the rest of the family. Anyway, their feelings made it very hard to speak to them about my friend.

Seth might have understood, but he was so wrapped up in Marie and the wedding that he hardly had time for anything else. Besides which, Seth was a wolf, so I had to consider the fact that, however kind he might be, he might have a limited interest in the fate of a vampire.

The only other friend who really knew Katherine was Leo. I sometimes wished that I could call him and tell him what was happening to her, and how concerned it made me feel. But I didn't, because I knew that he wouldn't want to know. We had spoken regularly since leaving Alaska, but not once had he asked how she was. He'd never even spoken her name. It seemed that as far as Leo was concerned, Katherine no longer existed.

And so in the end I kept my own counsel and said nothing, and clung to the fragile hope that time and space would heal my friend.

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Hi there, just a quick thanks to everyone who reviewed last time (including Olivia, thank you so much, sorry I can't PM). I don't usually like to fixate on numbers, but I can't help noticing the reviews are creeping towards 400 *yay*, so thank you reviewers, I appreciate all the very nice comments! And of course, thanks for the new list additions, it's always a lovely surprise to get them so far into the story :)**

**Apart from that, there's not much to say except see you in two weeks, have a lovely fortnight and thank you for reading,**

**Mad :)**


	66. Nessie, the veil lifted

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you to willowbae, for her help and brilliant beta-ing enthusiasm :)<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 66.<strong>

**Nessie – the veil lifted**

Summer finally arrived and the days grew warm. Even though our end of year exams were looming, everyone at college was cheered by the long days and sunny weather. I had the additional pleasure of discovering that Professor Leary was not going to be returning to the university. Although I was planning to leave my course at the end of the year, it was still nice to know that he would not be pestering any future students with his sleazy attentions.

At La Push, things were going equally well, and my weekends spent on the beach, with Jake and the pack, were very relaxed and happy. I was pleased to see Jacob taking it easy during that time. He always carried a heavier burden than the rest of us – a burden that I had certainly contributed to – and it was really good to watch him unwind.

My relationship with my family was slowly rebuilding too. I spoke to them often, and that made me feel happy. Jacob continued to uphold the treaty, but no one complained, which took a load off my shoulders.

A month, or so, after our reunion, I visited Illinois again. My mother bought me a plane ticket, I wasn't sure if I should let her pay for it, but she insisted, saying that it was the least she could do, since our family couldn't visit me.

"It's not fair if you have to bear the expense every time we want to see you," she added persuasively.

I decided to accept her logic and thanked her with real gratitude. I flew out to Chicago on a Friday afternoon and stayed for the whole weekend. The weather was beautiful and I spent most of the long weekend lolling around the sunny garden with my family.

On Saturday, Uncle Emmett dug out a badminton set from the garage and put it up in the garden, and I joined him in a game of doubles against Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper. He had initially asked Aunt Rose to be his partner, but she'd refused to play and sprawled on a sun lounger instead, sparkling in her new bikini. I took her place in the game and quickly understood her reluctance to team up with Uncle Emmett.

I already knew that he was competitive, but when he began to whisper complex play tactics and corrections between shots it became increasingly off-putting. I felt ridiculously guilty whenever I missed a shot and lost our team a point. Thankfully, Aunt Rose intervened about ten minutes into the game.

"_Emmett!_" She barked. "Stop advising Nessie, you're spoiling her fun."

"I'm only trying to help…" he replied sulkily, avoiding her glare.

But after that he was a little more restrained with his instructions, and I actually started to play a little better and enjoy myself. We didn't win the game, but Uncle Emmett took the defeat with good grace. Personally, I felt that there was no shame in losing to a player as skilled as Aunt Alice.

When Aunt Rose and Uncle Emmett had gone home, I stayed outside to enjoy the balmy weather. I sat on the veranda and stared out across the garden. The warm evening breeze wafted around me, carrying the sweet scent of lavender. Grandma Esme was still weeding the flowerbeds. I could hear her humming tunefully from where I sat. Grandpa Carlisle had told me that morning how much happier she'd been since my reconciliation with my parents, and it made me glad. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt my softhearted grandma.

As I watched her, my mind wandered to Katherine. She'd been one of the strongest advocates of my family reconciliation, and I was very sorry that I couldn't tell her how well everything was going. It was no surprise that I hadn't heard from her, I had assumed that she would be out of contact for a few weeks, but I still felt worried. I wanted her to be happy, but there was no getting away from the fact that she wasn't.

I wondered where she was living and how she was getting on. I wished that things could have been easier for her and I regretted that she was all alone. For the thousandth time I questioned if there was more I could have done to help her. Katherine had nearly died protecting me, but her only reward had been exile. If I'd found a better way to deal with my family, if I'd refused to lie to Jake in the first place, then maybe her situation could have been different.

"It should have been different." My father's voice came from behind me.

I glanced up at him with a light smile. "Hi, I didn't hear you coming."

He smiled back, but I could see regret in his eyes. "I'm sorry that your friend had to pay for our mistakes." He sat down on the chair beside me. "I said some unjust things about her. I thought that she'd been a bad influence on you, that she'd led you astray."

"It wasn't like that. Katherine always tried to look out for me."

"I know that now. I've seen your memories. I know that she gave you sound advice… and I'm aware of how far she was prepared to go to protect you. I'm very sorry that I judged her so harshly. It wasn't fair to either of you."

"It's ok. You were just worried about me, I get that."

We sat in silence for a long time, enjoying the golden evening sunshine, and I allowed my mind to drift. It was my father who eventually broke the silence.

"You know, I still can't believe that she survived..."

I hadn't really been concentrating, and glanced towards him in confusion. "I'm sorry?"

"Your friend, Katherine, I can't believe that she wasn't killed."

This thought yanked me out of my daydreams and brought me back to earth with an unpleasant thud. I shuddered, reliving the moment when Felix tore off my friend's arm. She had been chillingly close to death that day. We all had. My father read my mind and grimaced.

"No wonder you wish you could forget what happened. It must have been absolutely horrific." He winced. "You're right; it was a miracle that any of you survived. But, I wasn't actually thinking about that."

"I'm sorry. I'm not entirely following you." I glanced at him in confusion. "What were you thinking about?"

"I was thinking about Katherine and Leo. I can't believe that she survived his bite. I was absolutely positive that Leo had killed her..." My father shook his head in disbelief. "But he'd turned her instead. It just goes to show; even reading someone's mind isn't always a reliable way to gain information.

"You know," he continued. "At first, it didn't even occur to me that she _could_ be the same girl. After all, I've only ever seen Katherine in other people's thoughts. I've never met her in person. It was only later that I made the connection. Of course, she looked rather different as a human, and what I saw of her in Leo's mind was only a short memory. Short, gruesome and very emotional... "

He sighed and added meditatively. "Poor Leo… I saw how much he loved her, no wonder he felt so guilty. It was a tragedy for both of them."

I sat in stunned silence, trying to make sense of my father's words. I must have misunderstood him. That was it. He couldn't be saying what it sounded like he was saying. That would be _impossible_. My father was so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he hardly seemed to notice my reaction.

"But… but, Dad," I eventually managed to stutter. "What about Leo's dead girlfriend? What happened to _her?_"

"Leo's dead girlfriend…?" He repeated, and finally registered what I was thinking. His eyes widened in surprise. "_Oh_… I thought you must have already known."

"Known what?"

"What I just said. That Leo didn't kill the girl he was in love with. He turned her. It was your friend Katherine. She survived."

It seemed that I hadn't misheard after all. I just hadn't been able to believe this staggering new piece of information. It was so contrary to everything that I'd been told about their relationship.

"Leo was _in love_ with Katherine?" I shook my head in shocked bewilderment. "You're absolutely _sure_ about that?"

"Yes." My father answered slowly. "I can see that it makes no sense to you, and I must admit that their situation also rather confuses me… But I can say one thing for sure. I may have been wrong about the outcome, but I wasn't wrong about his feelings. I know what I saw. Leo loved that girl desperately and he stopped feeding on human blood because of what he did to her."

I stood up abruptly. "I can't believe it. I had no idea… I thought…"

God, what _had_ I thought?

At that precise moment I remembered. And I also remembered what I'd told Katherine about Leo and his non-existent dead girlfriend. I covered my face in shame.

"Oh no… this is such a mess," I groaned. "I should never have said anything to Katherine. I should have kept my mouth shut."

"Don't blame yourself." My father looked more than a little shamefaced. "You meant well, and you were only repeating what I'd told you. The fault lies with me. I misread what I saw and passed off my assumptions as facts. I'm truly sorry if it's caused trouble."

I dropped my hands to stare at my father. "Dad, it's not your fault that I'm a stupid blab-mouthed idiot. What was I thinking?"

"From what I've seen in your memory, it seems that you were trying to smooth over their very difficult reunion. And it worked; Katherine didn't try to fight Leo. You did it for the right reasons, Nessie."

"Yes," I exclaimed. "But Katherine now thinks that Leo's holding a grudge, because of what she said to him about murdering that girl. A girl who never even _existed…!_"

"Well, I suppose that, _technically_ speaking, she did exist," he reasoned calmly. "Just not in quite the way that we imagined."

"Leo would have had no idea what Katherine was talking about. She said he looked confused, he probably thought that she'd gone crazy! And all because of a stupid rumour I circulated. Not only did Katherine make a total fool of herself, but she was left feeling tortured with unnecessary feelings of guilt, and it's all my fault."

"You're being too hard on yourself."

"No, Dad." I ran my fingers over my face despairingly. "I'm not. I've done something really stupid and the least that I can do is admit the fact." I started to pace. "What am I going to do? How can I make this right? I need to think…"

My father stood up and looked at me for a long moment, before patting my shoulder. "I never realised how much you've grown up in the past year."

I stared at him in amazement. It seemed a strange moment to decide that I'd grown up, just after I had admitted to making a really stupid and, dare I say it, naïve mistake. A slight smile curled the corners of his mouth.

"Maybe that's why," he said cryptically, before turning and walking down the garden steps, onto the lawn.

I shook my head and left the veranda to seek refuge in a quiet place. It was no surprise that I ended up in the attic. I sat on the large window seat, gazing out over the garden and the woods, for at least an hour, and mulled over what my father had told me.

The information that Leo had once been in love with Katherine was a complete shock, but it forced me to confront how he really felt about her. I had unquestioningly accepted Katherine's assertions that Leo didn't give a damn, but now everything was cast in a very different light. When I really analysed Leo's recent behaviour towards Katherine, and his motives for coming to Alaska, I was startled to discover just how blind I'd been.

How could I have been _so_ oblivious? How could I have failed to notice the way his eyes softened every time he looked at her, or the way he listened to her as if she was the most interesting person in the world? It didn't matter that he'd tried to hide his feelings. Whatever Katherine might believe, it was clear that Leo was still very much in love with her.

I wondered why such a confident person had made no attempt to tell the girl he loved how much he cared. But when I really thought about it, I realised that Leo had held back because Katherine had given him absolutely no indication that she could ever be interested. In fact, she had actually ordered him to leave us. So why would he set himself up for a humiliating public rejection?

Katherine's feelings on the subject were less clear to me. I didn't know how she felt about Leo, but since I'd told her that he was still irrevocably in love with some dead human girlfriend, it was hardly surprising that she hadn't been particularly forthcoming on the subject. Even if she was romantically interested in him, she would never have admitted it under those circumstances. Who would?

And now Katherine had gone away and Leo had no idea that she was suffering.

It was becoming increasingly obvious just how much trouble my misinformation had caused, and I cursed myself for interfering. But somewhere under all the guilt and self-recrimination there was one fact that I couldn't ignore. I needed to make amends. I needed to tell Leo what I had done and I needed to tell him about Katherine.

I had absolutely no idea of what to say, or how he would react when he heard the truth, but I knew that I had no choice.

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Hello again, a massive thanks to everyone who reviewed last time (including Olivia) and thanks for the new list additions :) They're always lovely to have.**

**Not much else to say, I'm just enjoying the sunny weather... :)**

**I will post again in two weeks, have a great fortnight!**

**Mad :)**


	67. Leo, I never saw that one coming

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

* * *

><p><strong>As always, a huge thanks to my lovely beta, willowbae :)<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 67.<strong>

**Leo – I never saw that one coming**

I was practicing a card throwing trick – embedding playing cards into one of Hal's bookshelves – and Hal was trying to work through this distraction, when the phone rang on his desk. He absently picked it up.

"Hello?"

It was impossible not to eavesdrop with hearing like mine, so I didn't even bother to pretend that I wasn't listening. I heard a familiar voice coming down the line.

"Um… hi, Hal. It's Nessie Cullen."

My throwing hand stilled mid-air, and Hal replied. "Oh, hello Nessie. How are you?"

"I'm fine, thanks. How about you?"

"I'm very well, thank you," said Hal politely. "What can I do for you?"

"Oh, yes… right." She sounded a little shy. "I was wondering if you could ask Leo to call me, the next time you speak to him."

Hal glanced at me and smiled. "You can speak to him right now if you like. He's sitting in my study."

"Really?" She said in surprise. "That would be great. Thank you."

I got up and grabbed the phone from my brother. "Hey Red, how's it going?"

"Hi, Leo." Nessie sounded pleased, but slightly flustered. "Wow, I can't believe you're actually there. I was sure you'd be away."

"Yeah, well, I have to come home now and again, to check on Hal." I smirked. "Otherwise, who knows what kind of wild parties he'd be throwing?"

I'd heard that Nessie had agreed to visit her family. It seemed that Emmett had taken my advice to go to Seattle and talk to her. I was curious to know how things were working out.

"How about you? I heard you went to see your parents. How did it go? Any reconciliation in sight?"

"Yeah." Nessie sounded happy. "Things are going really well, thanks. I actually just got back from visiting them again. I stayed for the whole weekend and arrived home last night, I'm in Forks now."

Nessie then told me about her trips to Illinois, and what had been agreed with her family. It seemed that the Cullens were finally accepting her changing relationship with Jake, and I was impressed to hear that she'd stuck to her guns about the money. I thought that she'd done the right thing, and I told her so. She said that it was tough sometimes, but it felt good too.

"So anyway," I asked cheerfully. "How's everything else going?"

My question was vague, but there was a small and incredibly insistent part of me that hoped that she would give me some news of Kathy. I couldn't ask about her directly, but I was still dying to know if she was alright. I held my breath and waited for a reply, but all that came down the line was a very long silence.

"Red, are you ok…?"

"Um…" Nessie's tone changed, becoming almost fearful. "I don't know. I mean… I'm ok. But…" She trailed off.

I frowned with anxiety. "But… what?"

"Oh, Leo," she gasped. "I only just found out. I made a huge mistake. I thought I was doing the right thing at the time, but I was wrong…"

She sounded so scared that my protective instincts flared to life.

"What's wrong?" I demanded. "What happened?"

Hal chose this moment to get up and leave the room, giving us some privacy. It was symbolic gesture really, he could still hear the conversation in every other room in the house, but I appreciated the thought. He closed the door behind him, just as Nessie added.

"I was so stupid. I screwed up… and I don't know how to fix it…" Her voice broke on the final word.

By this point I was getting really worried. What on earth was going on? What mistake had Nessie made, that was serious enough to make her cry? And why was it so hard to fix? I wracked my brains as I tried to comfort her.

"Come on, sweetheart. I'm sure it's not as bad as…"

It suddenly occurred to me that there was a _very_ obvious reason for her tears. I bit back an exasperated growl. Damn. I would have expected Jake to be more careful. I had the sudden urge to kick his ass. Nessie was still just a child, and the last thing she needed was to be saddled with an unwanted pregnancy. I felt even more irritated when I remembered that I had actually _warned_ her to take precautions. Hadn't _either_ of them bothered? Geez, what a pair of idiots!

I was almost tempted to give her a piece of my mind, until I heard the miserable sniffling, which was coming down the line. Poor kid, she sounded terrified. It was no surprise. I assumed that she'd only found out since arriving back in Forks, otherwise the family visit probably wouldn't have been quite such a success.

I wondered if the Cullens would try to kill Jacob. I decided not to ask. Little Red needed my help. She didn't need me to be the voice of doom. Stress was bad for pregnant women – or something like that. Nessie needed to know that she still had friends who would support her and her screw-up.

Not that I actually knew that much about babies. But how hard could it be, right? And anyway, she would be doing most of the work, and if I needed any baby tips, I could always Google them. And I'd already impressed myself by knowing about pregnancy and stress. I also knew that babies needed to be carried around and fed, and stuff like that. With such expert knowledge, I'd make a great godfather. Keeping this thought in mind, I said in my most soothing tone.

"Don't worry, Red. You're not the first girl to get caught out. This kind of stuff happens all the time, but most people work it out ok."

"Huh?"

Nessie sounded pretty blank, and I began to wonder if her mothering skills were really going to be up to par. It was lucky that I was going to be the godfather; I'd keep an eye on the kid.

"So, what did Jake say, when you told him?"

Her tone was slightly shamefaced, but at least she'd stopped crying, which was an improvement. "I haven't told him. I don't think he'll be very impressed. But it's not actually his problem."

My eyes flew wide. I'd never put Nessie down as a cheater. I suddenly felt worried about my godchild having such an untrustworthy mother. What kind of example would she set?

"Jake _is_ the father, right?"

"_What?_" She exclaimed in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"The baby's father."

"What baby?"

"_Your_ baby," I snapped impatiently, forgetting all about pregnant women and stress.

"I'm not having a baby."

"Then what the hell have we just been talking about?" I demanded.

"Um… I don't know…" She sounded embarrassed and took a moment to pull herself together. "You, I guess."

"I'm sorry?"

"We… I mean… _I_… was talking about _you_, Leo"

"Me?"

That was it. I was completely lost, and seriously starting to question Nessie's mental stability. Had her family problems finally pushed her over the edge?

"Ok," I asked cautiously. "What about me?"

"Um… before I tell you, I want you to know that I know I made a mistake, but I _never_ wanted to cause any trouble. So, please don't be too angry…"

"Alright." This sounded ominous, but then I reminded myself that Nessie was very young and had a way of blowing little things out of proportion, and so it wasn't too difficult to add. "I'll keep my temper, I promise."

"Ok, where do I start?" She took a deep breath. "Well, you know my dad can read minds, right?"

"Yeah…" I replied uneasily.

She sounded nervous. "The day you first came to us, in New Hampshire, he saw what was in your head, Leo. He was really upset."

I frowned and tried to remember everything that I'd been thinking that evening. I couldn't recall anything too bad. Ok, I'd thought that Nessie was hot, and Rosalie too, but I was surprised if Edward had been _that_ offended, and didn't understand why it had become a problem now. Why hadn't he just thrown me out on that first evening?

Nessie continued. "I'm sorry, Leo. I know it's none of my business, and I know you probably don't want to talk about it, but… my dad saw a human girl in your head. When he told you that he'd married my mom when she was still human, he said that your mind went straight to the girl. He said you loved her and that you… you…"

She couldn't finish the sentence, and I felt as if I'd been punched in the gut. I was caught between the shock that my secret shame had suddenly been thrown in my face, and anger that Edward had seen fit to take my most painful memories of Kathy and reveal them to his family.

For a second, my rage threatened to boil over, but my pride forced me to contain it. There was no way that I was going to expose how much it bothered me, besides which, I had promised that I wasn't going to lose my temper, and it didn't seem right to fly off the handle with anyone as young and vulnerable as Nessie. My voice was tight when I answered.

"I'm glad that I could provide you all with some entertainment."

"No, Leo. It wasn't like that." Nessie protested, immediately picking up on my dark mood. "My dad wouldn't have told us, but he was so upset, he snapped at my mom and it all came flooding out... Everyone just felt really sorry about what happened. No one judged you."

I didn't care whether or not the Cullens judged me. I wasn't interested in what they thought and I didn't want their sympathy either. It was none of their damn business. Kathy had forgiven me, and that was all that mattered. Now I just wanted to put it behind me.

Despite my anger, I accepted that Nessie wasn't acting maliciously by digging up my past. She probably had no idea of how it made me feel, or she would have kept her mouth shut. I could tell that Nessie wanted to talk about it, but I wasn't in the mood to humour her. I tried to change the subject.

"Look, kid. It's all over and done with now, so let's just forget about it, ok."

"I can't forget it. I…"

My temper was starting to fray. "Well, just try harder." I snapped, and began pacing the room. "Because we are not going to have a chat about this, Red."

"You don't understand," she gasped. "I don't want to talk about what _you_ did. I want to tell you what _I_ did." She sounded completely overwrought. "I told Katherine that my father saw her being bitten."

Hearing Katherine's name pulled me up short.

"So?" I fought for some control. "That could hardly have come as a surprise to her. Kathy was actually _there_, remember?"

Nessie ignored my sarcasm. "I know she was there. I only just found out. That's what I'm trying to tell you. I didn't make the connection and assumed it was another girl. When you arrived in Alaska, Katherine was so angry that she didn't want to speak to you, Leo. I was worried that she might try to fight you. I only wanted to calm her down."

I flinched at her reminder of how Kathy viewed me, but Red continued unawares.

"I told Katherine that you'd changed. I showed her everything my father had told me in New Hampshire. I said that you couldn't feed on humans anymore, because you fell in love with one, and… and… _killed_ her. I didn't know that the girl survived. And I had absolutely no idea that it was Katherine. I told her that you were in love with a human girl who died.

"I thought it was true and so did she. I only found out what really happened when my father saw Katherine in my mind this week. He made finally the connection and told me he'd misread your memories. And I'm so, so sorry…" She started crying again.

I stopped in my tracks. My eyes were drawn to the open window. I stared unseeingly at the sunlit street and tried to process this startling information. Damn, I hadn't seen that one coming.

After a few seconds, the most important fact filtered through. Nessie knew that I was in love with Katherine, but it seemed that she hadn't actually told her. Ok, maybe this wasn't so bad after all. I answered slowly.

"So, Kathy doesn't know the truth?"

"No…" she sniffed. "She has no idea. I'm so sorry…"

I saw my opportunity for some damage control. If I played this right, Kathy would never have to know how I really felt about her. I sat down on the edge of Hal's desk and deliberated for a moment, before replying smoothly.

"Don't worry about it. You made an honest mistake, it's ok."

Red sounded doubtful. "Really...?"

"Sure. Just do me one favour."

"Of course, anything…"

"Don't tell Kathy that she was the girl in my memory," I said. I wasn't exactly thrilled to have to make this confession, but I could see no better option. "Our relationship is already terrible. She hates my guts and she's got good reason to. That's never going to change, and I don't think that knowing the truth would make her feel anything but embarrassed.

"I want her to be happy, and I don't think that dredging up the past is going to help. So if Kathy still believes that I'm in love with some dead human, that's fine by me and far less complicated. So if you can agree to keep quiet, I'd be grateful. Do you think you can?"

There was a long pause, followed by Nessie's quiet reply. "Yes. I… I can agree to that," she stammered. "But what about Katherine?"

"What about her?"

I really hoped that Red wasn't about to pull some misguided 'I don't want to lie to my friend' routine, but her answer surprised me.

"Katherine still feels guilty when she doesn't need to."

"Guilty about what?"

"Um…" Nessie seemed reluctant to say.

"Come on, Red. Don't you think it's a little late for secrets?"

"Ok. Katherine told me about the fight you had in Alaska. She felt really bad about it. She told me that she got really angry and said some terrible things, about how you deserved what happened to you, and that you were a murderer." Her voice dropped to a whisper.

I cast my mind back to that bitter quarrel and, for the very first time, Kathy's words made sense. When she'd called me a murderer, she was actually accusing me of killing that imaginary girlfriend. She'd also said that I deserved it. I shook my head.

Damn. Taken in context, that was _cold!_

Nessie almost seemed to read my thoughts as she added imploringly. "She didn't mean it, Leo. She was so sorry for what she said. She wanted to apologise, but she didn't know where to start. And it's not true, what you said. Katherine doesn't hate you, I know she doesn't… she told me so."

I hardly knew how to react. I'd grown so accustomed to the idea that Katherine couldn't stand me, I felt as if Nessie was speaking in an incomprehensible foreign language. It unnerved me more than anything else, and I couldn't think of how to answer her, but Nessie carried on talking without my assistance.

"When we were at the airport in Anchorage, Katherine told me that she'd blown it with you. She thought that you'd never be her friend after what she'd said, and she really regretted it."

I finally managed to pull myself together and give a coherent reply. "You've got it all wrong. Kathy doesn't want to be friends with me. She never did."

That was the real truth. And I needed to remember it, before hope began to poison my life.

"Katherine did want to be friends with you, but she thought you'd never forgive her for those terrible words. She thought that you didn't like her, Leo. That you never wanted to see her again."

Despite my best efforts, I felt my temper slowly rising again. However much Kathy hated me, she _couldn't_ have though that I felt that way about her. It was impossible.

"That's not true," I argued.

"I know you don't feel that way," said Nessie quickly. "But Katherine doesn't."

Nessie's words left me with the feeling that my whole world had just turned upside-down. However staggering it might be, it did actually seem that Kathy thought I _disliked_ her. The idea would have been laughable if it wasn't so sad. There was no way in heaven or hell that I could ever feel that way about her, and this revelation was a like a new form of torture to me.

I needed to stay away from Kathy, but I couldn't stand the thought that she was somewhere out in the world, believing that I was thinking badly of her, especially if the idea was making her unhappy. I hated the thought of causing her any more pain than I already had.

"Ok, I believe you," I said slowly, trying to think of a solution that would make Kathy feel better, without exposing my true feelings. "I can see that she's confused, and I don't want her to be. But you don't have to tell her everything. Just tell her that you spoke to me. And say that I asked how she was doing and really hoped she was well. You can say it so that she knows I don't hold any grudges. She'll believe you."

"I can't."

I felt a little impatient. "Sure you can, it's easy. You just tell her that…"

"No, you don't understand, I _literally_ can't," Nessie interrupted. "I don't have any way to get in touch with her. I don't even know _where_ she is."

"What?" I was stunned.

In the past couple of months, I'd passed my time imagining what Kathy was doing. I'd pictured her happy in Washington, living in a nice home and spending time with her friends. These daydreams had kept me going. They had stopped me from wallowing in depression, and also allowed me to keep my distance and leave her alone. But now all my happy fantasies were crumbling before my eyes.

"But I thought she was living near _you_," I protested. "In Seattle."

"She was going to, but after we returned from Alaska and I had that fight with my parents, Katherine decided to leave town," Nessie replied quickly. "I asked her not to, I didn't think she should leave, but she said it was for the best. She said that it would make things difficult between me and Jake's pack if she stuck around."

"Do you know where she went?"

"Yeah, she went to Canada. She was living in Edmonton for a while and working in a bar. We often spoke on the phone. She told me how she was doing, I even had her address."

"So what happened, why don't you know where she is now?"

Her voice became regretful. "Katherine wasn't happy, Leo. She said that she needed to clear her head and get away for a little while. I wasn't surprised. Some of the things she said, just before going away, showed how bad she was feeling... they really worried me."

A cold chill ran down my spine. "What did she say?"

"Well, she said that she'd given up trying to sleep. You know how important it was to her, but she said that she couldn't do it anymore. She said that she just lay in bed, and instead of falling into a trance, she'd spend the whole night staring at the ceiling, trying to remind herself of why she shouldn't feed on human blood.

"She was scared, Leo. She was really afraid that one day she was going to slip. I don't think that Katherine could live with herself if she ever hurt anyone. She said that she wasn't safe to be around and needed some time alone. So she left.

"I know Katherine planned to go north, somewhere really remote, far away from humans. She said that there would be no way to contact me, way up there, but promised to call when she got the chance, even if it wasn't for a while. I'm sure she meant it."

This bombshell was _so_ much worse than the previous ones that I was rendered absolutely speechless. It was beyond staggering. It was completely surreal.

Kathy was one of the most restrained vampires in the history of bloodsuckers. She had never tasted a human. Not even once. When she'd awoken as a newborn, we'd actually come to blows because I tried to force her to hunt them. But now her control was slipping so badly, that she'd exiled herself to the northern wilds just to avoid _attacking_ one!

Nothing could have made me feel more concerned about her state of mind. I couldn't imagine what could be going through Katherine's head for her to be thinking this way. I felt sick with worry and my mouth went dry. How had things been allowed to get so bad? Wasn't anyone looking out for her at all?

"How long has this been going on?" I finally gritted out.

"I'm not quite sure…"

"How long?"

"After we got back from Alaska, Katherine wasn't quite herself," Nessie finally admitted. "I didn't notice at first, she just seemed a little subdued. But she gradually got worse."

"When did she leave?"

"A few weeks ago."

So this had been going on since Alaska, and Katherine had hit her limit a several weeks ago, and no one had said _anything_ to me about it until now! I focused on breathing.

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"Because I thought you wouldn't want to know. I thought you didn't care about her."

It took every ounce of my self-control not to explode there and then, but somehow I contained the feeling. "You should have told me, Red. You should have said something right away."

"I know." She sounded as if she was crying again. "I made a mistake. This is all my fault, I'm so sorry, Leo."

Nessie sounded so guilty and miserable, that I held back any further accusations, and concentrated on the truth.

"Don't cry. This isn't your fault. Kathy's problems go far deeper than anything you could have caused. She's suffering because of me, because of what I did to her. You've got nothing to blame yourself for, ok."

"I should have told you sooner. Maybe she wouldn't have gone away. I have no idea how to find her. I just want to know she's ok."

"Yeah, me too."

"I don't know what to do…"

"Don't worry about it," I said grimly, making up my mind. "I'll handle it."

Nessie sounded nervous. "What are you going to do?"

"Just let me worry about that."

"But…"

I cut her short. "Listen, Red. You've got to trust me, ok?"

She was quiet for a moment. "Ok."

"Good. Now you can help me. Kathy was in Edmonton the last time you spoke to her, right?"

"That's right."

"I want her last known address, and I'm going to give you my cell number. I want you to call me right away, if you hear from her."

"Sure," she immediately agreed. "Absolutely."

I took Kathy's details, and gave Nessie my number and told her not to worry. "Don't worry, Red, it's going to be ok."

"Thanks, Leo. I'm really sorry about all this."

"You don't need to be. I'm not going to let anything bad happen to Kathy," I reassured her, praying that it was true.

We said goodbye and ended the call. After I hung up the phone, I turned my back on the desk and went to stand by the window. All the anger, which I'd somehow managed to contain during our conversation, was fighting its way to the surface. Katherine had been suffering for weeks and I'd had no idea. She was in trouble. For all I knew she'd already gone completely feral and earned herself a Volturi death sentence.

Just the thought of those sick bastards getting anywhere near her again was enough to make me killing mad. A red haze came down over my vision and I heard a low snarl, rumbling in the background. My hands curled into fists and all my muscles tightened, preparing to fight the unseen threat.

I needed to get out of the house. I could feel how close I was to tearing the whole room apart. I had to get to Kathy. She needed help. She needed me. But I was trapped indoors by the sunshine. I began pacing by the window, like a caged animal, fighting the anger so hard that my body was actually shaking. I hadn't felt this kind of unfocused rage in years. The snarling sound continued and it was fuelling my fury, driving me to violence.

"Leo." A quiet voice spoke behind me.

I spun around with teeth bared, ready to fight, and saw my brother standing in the doorway. Somehow, I managed to hold myself in check. I staggered back, growling.

"_Get out of here…_"

I wasn't safe. I couldn't trust myself, not even with Hal. He didn't move. He just watched me unflinchingly, never taking his eyes from my face. His expression was grave.

"You need to calm down. You're losing control."

I didn't answer, I found my gaze flickering towards the window again. I was desperate to escape. I had to break out of this room, get out of the house, out of the city. I needed to find her.

Hal took a step towards me, his voice cool. "I heard what Nessie said. What are you going to do?"

His question took a moment to register, and it distracted me from my spiralling anger. The snarling stopped as I took a deep breath. Hal came closer. I could read concern in his chalky face.

"Are you going to track Katherine?"

I nodded and raised the heels of my hands to my temples. "I have to."

He answered me cautiously. "No… you don't _have_ to. She's not your responsibility, Leo."

My thoughts were becoming more lucid with every passing second. And, after a few more breaths, I could argue without wanting to attack.

"Yes, she is." I snapped. "I'm her maker, what happens to her is my responsibility. It has been since the moment I sunk my teeth into her throat."

"Are you sure that you're really the right person for this? You two don't exactly have an easy relationship."

I scowled in frustration. "I know that, dammit. But I don't see anyone else stepping up to the mark. Kathy's in trouble, Hal. She needs help and I don't think that anyone else is going to give it. Hell, they probably wouldn't know how to find her, even if they tried. I know I'm a bastard, but I'm still better than nothing."

"I never doubted that you would do your best, but…"

"But what? You think I should just leave her drowning?" I demanded through clenched teeth.

"No, of course not." He sighed and met my angry glare with shake of his head. "But it's not just Katherine that I'm worried about. I know how this girl affects you, Leo. Will you be alright, if she won't accept your help?"

"I don't know." I shook my head helplessly. "But if I don't try, I'll go crazy."

"Well, then." Hal gave me a small, understanding smile. "You'll just have to follow your instincts. They haven't failed you yet."

I turned away and went to the window. Bracing my arm on the frame, I stared longingly at the road.

"No, they haven't… except with her."

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Hello again! Hope you've had a good fortnight. :)**

**A big thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter (including Olivia and the Guest, I appreciate your kind words). **

**Also, before I forget, I suppose it's fairly obvious that the most pressing plotline is related to Katherine/Leo, but (for anyone who is concerned) before this story concludes, there WILL be a little more Nessie/Jake fluff. :)**

**Anyway, now I've cleared up that anxiety, have a wonderful weekend. **

**I'll post again in two week, thanks for reading, ****Mad :)**


	68. Leo, the crunch

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

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><p><strong>Thank you to the world's best beta, willowbae :)<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 68.<strong>

**Leo – the crunch**

Luck was on my side. I caught a flight to Edmonton that night. Hal booked my ticket, while I packed everything I needed for a long trek north. I knew that the early summer weather would be in my favour when travelling cross country, and let's face it; I needed all the help I could get.

During the flight I focused my mind on the practical task of finding Kathy, and did my best to ignore the quiet fear in my heart, a fear that had been growing since Nessie's revelation.

There were some things which vampires avoided discussing, and the nature of our immortality was one of them. Although we claimed everlasting life, the number of vampires who had been alive at the time of the crucifixion was low; too low when you considered the legends of our long history. If they could live forever, where had all the ancients gone? Why was it so rare to meet a vampire who'd even celebrated their quincentennial birthday?

No one liked to discuss the matter openly, but the unsettling rumours still persisted. Did we reach a point when we just stopped existing? I had heard tales of vampires atrophying, but did we eventually grind to a complete standstill. After long centuries of immortality, did our will to survive slowly seep away? Did we finally turn to stone, or to dust?

And what made us give up… loneliness, exhaustion or just boredom? Or perhaps after a few hundred years, watching mankind change before our unchanging eyes, we just lost the will to try. Once we realised that everything we knew and understood had become obsolete, did we give up hope, give up trying, and let the sorry remainders of our lives fall through our fingers like worthless grains of sand?

When our long lives were spent, did we finally die of despair?

And this was my lurking fear for Katherine, a far deeper dread than the idea that she might be in danger from the Volturi. Was the loss of her humanity the biggest threat to her existence? The undercurrent of Nessie's words frightened me. Kathy had sounded too fatalistic. Had she already started on the shadowy path that led to nothing but oblivion?

I took a deep breath. As long as I had a particle of strength left in me, I was not going to allow Kathy to simply slip away. I knew that my motives were selfish, but I needed her alive and kicking. It didn't matter if it she was a million miles away from me, I still needed her to exist. If Katherine was lost to this world, the only light in my darkness would be extinguished. I couldn't let that happen, and I was going to do everything in my power to make sure that it didn't.

When I touched down in Edmonton, I went straight to Kathy's last known address. I couldn't believe how simple it was to find. I didn't even need to check Nessie's directions. I could have followed this trail with my eyes closed. It could have been that I was especially attuned to Kathy's presence because I'd seen her so recently, or maybe it was just because I cared so much about her.

It made me wonder how easy it would have been to find her, when she left me all those years ago. My pride had stopped me from tracking her, but if I'd followed in time, I would have found her with no trouble. I wanted to kick myself for being such an arrogant bastard. I should have gone after her, but I'd been convinced that Katherine would come back to me. I couldn't have been more wrong.

I checked out Kathy's apartment in Edmonton. It was already occupied by someone else, but that was no problem for me, I could sense her trail anyway. I was curious to visit the bar where she'd been working, but quickly dismissed the idea. I didn't need to waste time, so I just headed to the bus station instead.

When I arrived, I glanced through all the timetables and travel routes. Instinct told me that Kathy had gone into the Northwest Territories, and it wasn't hard to figure out which route she'd taken. There was a Greyhound bus, which travelled right up to Great Slave Lake, and I was certain that she'd caught it. I bought a ticket and spent the night at the bus station, waiting to get moving again.

The bus left Edmonton at dawn and during the long drive I had another stroke of luck. The weather was overcast the whole way, which meant that I didn't have to worry about getting caught glittering in the sunshine. This was especially relevant since, when you were so far north, the summer daylight hours were long. I'd worn a cap and jacket just in case, but it was good not to have to keep the blinds drawn.

I spent a fair part of the journey studying my maps of the region. The Greyhound made several stops, but as soon as we arrived in Yellowknife I sensed that Kathy had alighted there. At that point I got off the bus, and prepared to follow her trail on foot.

I could feel that Katherine had taken a north-easterly route, heading straight out of town. I assumed that she was making for the Northwestern Passages. If she wanted to be in a remote location, then what better place to stay than on one of the hundreds of islands located off the coast?

I realised that if she'd travelled out to the islands, I'd need the right kit to follow her. It was fortunate that there was a well-stocked outdoor equipment dealership in Yellowknife, and I bought an inflatable raft and some additional supplies for the trail. As I strapped my heavy new purchases onto my backpack, I could only be grateful that I would have no need for an outboard motor; I had no desire to lug one of those damn things across hundreds of miles of Canadian wilderness.

When I was ready, I took the quickest route out of town. I knew that I had a long trek ahead of me, but I was only too eager to start. Kathy would be at my journey's end. I didn't care whether or not she'd want to see me. It was a fairly safe bet that she wouldn't, but that wasn't enough to stop me from trying to find her. It didn't matter that I had promised myself to stay away. What good had it done? I hadn't been there when Kathy needed help, no one had. And now I wasn't worried about anything except that she was alone and hurting.

I followed Kathy's trail from the outskirts of Yellowknife into the wide open spaces of the Northern Territories. I took advantage of the mild weather and short summer nights to cover as much distance as I could during the day. I only rested for an hour or so each night, hunting en route, as I made my way across the rocky wilderness. The hunting wasn't bad either, especially at the start of the trek.

As I travelled further north the days grew longer, and I also saw fewer and fewer trees. They must have had trouble surviving the harsh northern winters. Smaller plants thrived in the short summer months and the mountains were covered in wild flowers and dense scrub. The land was grey and green under a vast expanse of blue, and I passed dozens of clear lakes, which shined like crystal mirrors as they reflected the sky above. It was very beautiful and very peaceful, and I began to understand why Katherine had come to this place.

My progress was slower than I would have liked, the rough terrain made sure of that, and it took me more than a week to reach the border of Nunavut. After I crossed over, the landscape became even more rocky and sparse. Every night, as I sat in the freezing night air, watching the bright stars above me, I reassured myself that I would see Kathy soon.

It took me over two weeks to reach the Northwestern Passages, and then a couple more to get to the island. If I'd been pursuing anyone else, finding the right island might have been tricky, but because it was Kathy, I felt as if I was following a bright beacon across the sea.

My raft turned out to be really useful. I'd bought one which was designed as a life raft, because it had a zip-up tent attached to keep my backpack safe and dry. I didn't need an outboard motor because I towed the raft as I swam out to the islands.

I had to do a substantial amount of swimming, which was hardly surprising. Kathy had claimed that she wanted to avoid _everyone_, and no one could ever accuse her of lacking thoroughness. The islands closest to the coast weren't suitable for her purposes, since there was always a chance of running into some geological expedition, or tourists who were looking for a truly brag-worthy trip. But I used the islands like stepping stones to travel further and further north, starting with Victoria Island.

I couldn't pretend that this part of the journey was anything but a gruelling drag. I hated the monotonous days spent in the ocean. The cold didn't harm me physically, and I couldn't drown, but the swim was uncomfortable, and I didn't exactly relish having saltwater sprayed into my face for hours at a time.

My destination was Emerald Isle, which was a small island in the eastern edge of the Arctic Archipelago. I had spotted it on my map and everything in me had said that Katherine was there.

As I forged my way through freezing Arctic waters on the very last leg of my swim, I had to wonder if Kathy was guilty of isolation overkill. And when I finally walked ashore on the island, and looked around me, I was certain of it.

There was absolutely nothing there, just rocks and scrubby undergrowth.

I stood for a long moment, surveying the barren scene, as the cold wind whistled around my ears.

Did Kathy really need to get away _this_ badly?

I changed out of my swim shorts and got dressed, then deflated my raft and fastened it to my backpack, and went in search of her camp. I was slightly anxious. I had no idea of what state of mind Katherine was going to be in, let alone what kind of reception I would receive, but at least there was nothing new in that.

It took me over a day to find her new home. She had settled on the eastern side of the island, close to the seashore. It was close to midday when I walked over the crest of a low hill and spotted a small, domed shelter, built entirely from grey island stone, overlooking the shore.

I stopped in my tracks and took a moment to gather myself. After travelling for a month, I had finally found her, and I found myself caught between feelings of extreme relief and apprehension. I glanced around eagerly, searching for Katherine, but she was nowhere to be seen.

I descended the hill and silently approached the building, but it turned out that there was no need for caution. As I drew near, I realised that it was deserted. I wondered if Katherine had sensed my arrival and tried to escape, but when I glanced into the building, I found that all her possessions were still inside, including a deflated raft, which was similar to mine. She wouldn't have left without her things.

I could taste Kathy's scent on the air. It was at least a day old and it led right to the water's edge. For a moment I considered diving in after her, but my instincts, and my grim memories of the hours spent in the cold sea, persuaded me to stay put and wait for her to return instead. So I dumped my backpack on the ground and settled in to wait.

I spent the first few hours walking the beach. It was the height of summer, and the sun was shining brightly, but the weather wasn't exactly balmy, there was a slight chill in the air. When you weren't standing in the direct sunlight it actually felt cold. The shore was flat and rocky and the sea beyond it was a dark, cold blue. There wasn't much to see, just miles and miles of ocean, stretching out in all directions.

At first I told myself that it would be wrong to go into Kathy's shelter. I didn't want to invade her privacy. So instead I sat on one of the many large boulders that rested on the beach and watched the birds circling overhead. But as the hours crawled by, and she made no appearance, my boredom got the better of me, and I went to take a proper look inside.

The shelter itself reminded me slightly of a tall igloo, except that it had been built entirely out of rocks. It had no windows, and so all the light came from the arched doorway, which faced the sea. The doorway was protected by a section of thick waterproof sheeting, which could be tied down, or pulled back, depending on how you wanted it. There was no fuel on the island, so it was hardly surprising that there was no hearth in the shelter. It was cold inside, too cold for a human to live comfortably, but reasonable for a vampire.

As I poked around and took a closer look, I had to admire the skilled craftsmanship that had gone into the sturdy building. Every stone had been worked so that it fitted perfectly with its neighbour. There were no draughts or cracks in the smooth walls. Kathy had known exactly what she was doing when she constructed it. It was an infinitely sane design, and certainly didn't give the impression it had been made by someone who was living on the edge of reason, which was a comforting thought.

The whole place was surprisingly comfortable, with a level stone floor, covered in soft furs. It looked like Kathy had been busy hunting. I'd hoped that she had been hunting animals, rather than humans, in our time apart, and the sight of these pelts reassured me that she had. Her spare clothes had been neatly folded and placed in a corner of the room, along with her backpack, and some knives, tools and the deflated raft.

She had also built an alcove into the wall, with a stone shelf where she'd placed some paperback books and a plastic lunchbox, containing her smaller possessions. It was see-through, and so when I picked it up, I told myself that I wasn't really being nosey, because I could look inside without actually opening it.

When I peered through the lid I immediately caught sight of the picture of Kathy and her brother. I guiltily put down the box and glanced at her small collection of books instead. I hadn't read any of them.

After that, I made myself at home, sitting peacefully in the open doorway and breathing in her scent. Even though the future was uncertain, I still felt happier than I had done since leaving Alaska.

The sun moved slowly across the horizon, but never set. This trip had given me my first experience of the midnight sun. Since reaching the Arctic Circle, the daylight had been constant. This might have been disconcerting if I'd been human, but because I didn't need any sleep, it made a pleasant change. I didn't have any boring night hours to kill. Of course, while I was sitting outside Kathy's hut, it seemed ironic that I was in the land of constant daylight and I didn't have anything to do with my time, but hang around waiting.

After a few more hours doing nothing, I decided to read one of Kathy's books. In the end I chose 'The Count of Monte Cristo'. I remembered that it had been turned into a couple of movies, and thought I'd give it a go. I grabbed the novel and resumed my place on her doorstep.

It was a long book, and I felt slightly daunted when I opened the first page. I'd never been much of a reader, not like Hal, but my vampire speed-reading skills came in useful. I was worried that it might be a boring romance, but it actually turned out to be pretty cool. I was surprised how quickly the time flew, as I followed Edmond Dantes escaping his cell and extracting vengeance on his enemies.

I stayed on Kathy's doorstep for the rest of the night, and most of the next morning, working my way through the novel. My location added to the atmosphere of the book. While I read about the hero's ocean voyages, I could smell the fresh sea air and hear the waves on the shore.

I liked the final line: '_Wait and hope_.' It pretty much summed up my current predicament.

I closed the book with a smile, pleased in the knowledge that after all these years I had finally found one that I actually wanted to buy. When I got back to civilisation, I would do just that. I grinned at the thought of Hal's face, when he saw me putting 'The Count of Monte Cristo' on my empty bookshelf.

I returned the novel to its place in Kathy's stone alcove, and then wandered outside to take another walk along the shore. I had a restless feeling. I had been in this hut for over twenty four hours, and Kathy had still made no appearance.

I began to wonder if I should revise my plan and go looking for her, when a movement in the water caught my eye. I turned just in time to see Kathy emerge from the waves. She rose to her feet in one swift motion and I stumbled back in surprise. I hadn't expected her just to appear like that. She must have approached the island underwater; it was certainly the fastest way to move through the ocean.

In the past Katherine had reminded me of a mermaid, but as she surfaced from the dark Arctic waters she looked more like a siren or a vengeful sea goddess, beautiful and deadly. Her skin had turned a ghostly white from the freezing sea and her wet hair looked almost black in contrast, clinging to her strong shoulders in thick coils. She was wearing a plain black swimsuit and carrying a harpoon. She looked considerably more intimidating than the average vampire, and if I'd been human, I would have been terrified. As it was, I was more than a little awed.

Kathy caught sight of me and stopped short. She looked absolutely thunderstruck.

"_Leo!_"

She stared at me in astonishment, her eyes wide and incredulous. I noticed that her irises were still golden. The depth of my relief told me exactly how much I'd dreaded the prospect that she'd fed on human blood. I couldn't have stood it, if she'd slipped.

I caught my breath, as Katherine stepped gracefully out of the water and approached me across the rocky beach. She stopped a short distance away. Her expression was still more shocked than hostile.

I gave her a small smile. "Hey, Kathy…"

"It really is _you_…" she gasped, looking me up and down, as if she could still hardly believe her eyes. "You're here…"

"Um… yeah, I guess so." I shrugged self-consciously.

My awkward manner seemed to convince Kathy that I wasn't a figment of her imagination and she shook her head in wonder. Her expression was open and vulnerable when her eyes finally returned to my face.

"_Why…?_ Why are you here…?"

Hmmm, that was a good question. Finding myself locked in her gaze, I suddenly wished that I'd prepared a proper explanation for my appearance. As it was, I just said the first thing that sprung to mind.

"I was talking to Red. She was worried about you. She didn't know where you were, or how to find you..."

I was pleased with this reply. I had neatly avoided exposing my true feelings, but the look on Kathy's face made me falter. In a split-second all the openness disappeared and her expression became guarded. She stepped away, answering stiffly.

"And I suppose that _you_ were the only tracker she knew?"

I wanted to kick myself. It had taken me less than thirty seconds to put Kathy on the defensive. She clearly believed that I'd only come to find her as a favour Nessie.

Why couldn't I just _for once_ say the right thing to this girl?

"Wait… I didn't mean…"

But Kathy had already turned away and started walking towards the stone shelter. She didn't even bother to look back as she slung her harpoon over her shoulder and added coolly.

"Well, now you can just run along and tell her I'm fine."

"Dammit." I hurried after her as she strode up the beach. "Kathy, _wait!_"

She turned around and raised her eyebrows, asking in a slightly contemptuous tone. "Are you still here?"

My mouth dropped open in surprise. I might have expected an openly hostile reception, but this cold dismissal was not what I had anticipated, and it really pissed me off. I closed my jaw with a snap and glared back angrily.

"Is that all you can say, after I've travelled three thousand miles into the Arctic Circle to find you?"

She maintained her composure and faced me down. "What do you want? Gratitude? I didn't ask you to come here, Leo. Nessie did."

"No, she didn't," I snapped. "Red didn't ask me to do anything. She was worried about you, but _I'm_ the one who decided to come looking."

Katherine threw me a sceptical look, as if she didn't entirely believe that I was telling the truth. "Why? Why would you do that?"

I couldn't quite keep the exasperation out of my voice. "Because, believe it or not, I was worried about you. Red told me some of the things you said to her, before you went away. You didn't sound like yourself."

"So you came all this way to see if I'd gone crazy." Kathy didn't sound offended so much as puzzled. "Why would you care?"

She stared up at me, meeting my eyes with a searching look. Her questions were getting a little too personal for comfort, so I answered as decisively as I could.

"Because I'm your creator… and I feel responsible for you."

This time it was Katherine's mouth that dropped open in disbelief. "Are you serious?" She gaped. "I'm not a baby, Leo. I'm not a newborn. I've been looking after myself for _years…!_"

I could tell, by her expression, that she was starting to wonder if I'd gone crazy too. Still, at least she wasn't being quite so remote.

"Please, Kathy. Can't you just accept that I was concerned?"

Kathy stared at me for a long moment and finally gave a sigh of resignation. "Ok… fine." She seemed slightly embarrassed and added contritely. "I'm sorry. I just wasn't… I don't know." She shrugged helplessly. "I'm just sorry to give you such a terrible welcome. It was really rude, especially after you came all this way."

"Hey, don't worry about it." I was swift to reassure her. "I know you weren't expecting company."

Kathy glanced along the deserted beach, as her lips curved in a reluctant smile. "No… I guess not." She shrugged again and added lightly. "I would invite you in for a coffee, but the kettle's broken."

This girl never ceased to impress me. Once again, she was her taking control of her feelings and forcing them into submission, just the way she had so many times before. I honestly didn't know how she did it.

I followed her, as she resumed her walk to the shelter, asking conversationally. "So… what do you feed on out here?"

"A variety of prey. I generally try to go for the most prolific species, so I don't have to worry that I'm killing off any endangered ones." She glanced at me, as we made our way up the beach. "I mainly hunt seals."

"Is that why you've got the harpoon?"

"Yeah, vampires are fast in the water, but we're not built for it the way they are. It's quicker to spear them while they're swimming, and a lot tidier."

When we reached the doorway, I made a quick confession. "I already took a look inside, I hope you don't mind. I was waiting for a while and I got bored."

"That's ok. I would have done the same thing."

She peered inside the shelter and then threw me a quizzical glance. "The Count of Monte Cristo, eh?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, well… you know me. I've always been a book person." She gave a short laugh and I rested my hand on the outside wall. "You did a nice job with this shelter. It seems pretty sturdy."

"Thanks. I used to help with building projects when I was in Asia, so I've had some practice." She smiled and then glanced self-consciously at her wet swimsuit. "I should probably get changed…"

"Oh, yeah." I tried not to ogle her perfect body and somehow ended up staring at my feet, like an awkward teenager. "Ok, yeah… sure … I'll wait here. You just take your time…"

"Thanks."

Katherine rested her harpoon against the outside wall and disappeared inside, while I stood facing the sea, and trying really hard not to picture her naked, which turned out to be easier said than done, since I could hear every tiny move she was making. It quickly became obvious that I needed to put a little more space between us and I decided to take a stroll.

"Hey, Kathy. I might just take a walk."

"Ok, sure… I'll see you in a minute," she replied from inside, without concern.

"Sure, you just take your time…" I said again.

The shelter was built on uneven scrubland, covered in rocks and low shrubs, which bordered the beach and ran for miles inland. Instead of making my way to the sea, I circled behind the stone hut and took a short stroll across the rough ground in an effort to clear my head.

I had left San Francisco without a second thought. Getting to Katherine had been my only object. In my worst imaginings I had pictured finding Kathy in a dangerous and savage state. It was a massive relief to discover that she was fine. She hadn't gone crazy or feral, or fallen into a state of despair. In actual fact, she had built herself a house and seemed to have found a reasonable way to live.

This was the point where I should have been able to turn around and go home, secure in the knowledge that the girl I loved was safe and well. But I couldn't, because in my heart I just wasn't convinced that this was the right place for her to be.

I gazed around me at the island wilderness. It was so remote here, so lonely. After I was gone, how long would it be before Kathy spoke to another person? How long was she prepared to live in complete isolation? And what would happen when the winter came? The cold might not be a danger to her, but it wouldn't exactly be pleasant either. And was she prepared to spend months living in the dark? There would be times when the sun wouldn't rise at all. Could vampires suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder?

I sat down on a boulder, resting my elbows on my knees, with my head in my hands. This wasn't right. Katherine was a social, affectionate person. She needed company and love; she didn't need to be exiled onto some godforsaken Arctic island. I didn't care if she had built herself a comfortable hermitage. It was just wrong.

But what could I do about it? Would Kathy listen to me, if I did say something? I wondered if I should just turn around and go, but the idea of leaving her again was too painful. This was another complication that I hadn't anticipated. How in the hell was I going to walk away from her, when I felt so unsure?

"Leo…?"

I heard Kathy's gentle voice nearby. I'd been so absorbed in my thoughts that I hadn't noticed her approaching. I quickly glanced up. She was standing a few feet away, watching me anxiously.

"Are you ok?"

I dropped my hands and rose to my feet. "Sure… I'm fine."

"Oh… ok." She didn't look convinced.

I was pleased to see that she was properly covered, in boots, pants, and a thick shirt. I didn't know if my restraint was quite up to dealing with another skimpy outfit. Her wet hair had been towelled off and didn't appear so dark. She looked more like herself. Kathy continued to watch me; she tilted her head with a curious frown.

"What were you thinking about just now?"

I ran my hand over my eyes, unsure of how to answer. "I was thinking about this place."

"What about it?" Katherine asked quietly.

I deliberated for a moment. I didn't quite know what to do, but I wanted to tell her the truth. There was no way I could walk away without saying something.

"I don't think you should stay here."

There, I'd said it.

She calmly folded her arms over her chest. "Why not?"

I was encouraged by the fact that she didn't seem angry.

"It's too remote."

"You spoke to Nessie, didn't you?" She asked cautiously.

"Yeah."

"So you know that's exactly _why_ I'm here."

I started to feel slightly frustrated. "I know you wanted to get away. But don't you think this is a little extreme?"

"Not really, I like it here."

"Come on, Kathy. There's nothing to do in this place."

"That's a matter of opinion." She glanced around her. "And I like it. I don't have to hear every conversation within a mile, and I don't have to suffer a burning throat, just because some human happened to walk too close to me."

"Your thirst never bothered you before; you never even seemed to notice it."

"I'm still a vampire, Leo..." She gave a small, twisted smile. "Believe me, I _always_ noticed it."

"I know what you are." I searched her face and tried to fight my exasperation. "But you're not just any vampire. I know how restrained you can be. Come on, how many years did you work as a _nurse?_ What changed?"

Kathy was silent for a moment, frowning as she considered my question. She finally looked at me and shrugged.

"Maybe I don't think it's worth it anymore. I'm tired of living a lie. When I'm here, I don't have to feel like an outsider, pretending to be something I'm not. Always deceiving my friends. Always moving on. Growing attached to people who are dying from the minute they're born. It's better here."

My frustration made me unkind. "You make it sound like you're running away."

"You're right." She lifted her chin. "I am. I'm running away from the very real possibility that my growing alienation will one day override my self-control. I could slip and kill someone. It wouldn't be difficult, and the more disconnected I become, the more likely it seems."

This confession shocked me. Even though Nessie had told me the same thing, it was different to hear Kathy actually say the words. I refused to believe her.

"No." I shook my head. "I know you. You're making excuses, you'd _never_ do that."

"Well, I'm doing my best not to." She met my gaze defiantly. "I don't ever want to inflict that kind of harm. And this is the best way to avoid it."

"No, this is wrong. You're wrong. You don't belong here."

She wasn't going down without a fight. "No, Leo. _You're_ wrong. Whatever you think of my motives, this is a good place to be. It's not as isolated or as empty as you think. If you lived here, you'd understand…"

"Don't say that," I snapped. My anger and frustration were starting to get the better of me. "This is _not_ a good place. It's just a rock in the middle of the ocean. There's nothing for you here."

Couldn't she just see that she was making a huge mistake? Why was she being so stubborn? But instead of seeming grateful for my opinion, Kathy just looked irritated. Her eyes flashed with anger and her voice rose.

"Leo, you don't know what you're talking about. Instead of telling me I'm wrong, for once in your life, why won't you just listen to me?"

"Because you're not making any sense," I retorted. "You've set up house in the stupidest place on the planet, because you've decided that you '_want to be alone_', and you actually expect me to take you seriously?"

Kathy's eyes narrowed and her hands clenched into fists at her sides. She looked seriously pissed off.

"Oh my God," she hissed. "I can't believe that you actually travelled three thousand miles to give me a _lecture_."

I couldn't say that I was thinking very rationally by this point. I certainly wasn't trying to calm the situation, and my next comment proved it.

"What did you expect?" I exclaimed angrily. "You thought I travelled three thousand miles to congratulate you on doing something this _dumb?_"

Kathy took a step forward. "Who do you think you are?" She demanded.

While my anger was hot, Katherine's was cold. She leaned in, fixing me with a look of icy contempt.

"I didn't ask for your opinion, Leo. But you still show up here, thinking you can tell me how to live my life. Well, you know something? What I do is none of your business and I don't give a damn what you think. You have no right to judge me. I'm not doing anything wrong. No one is suffering as a result of my decision. So if I want to stay here, why shouldn't I? Exactly what harm am I doing? Who am I hurting?"

I don't know why Kathy's words acted like such a trigger to me, but they did. For years I had failed in my dealings with her. She had rejected me repeatedly and I'd been forced to let her go, even when she was faced with a dangerous future alone. And now it was happening all over again, and there was absolutely _nothing_ I could do about it.

At that moment I lost the very last shreds of my self-control and all my anger and frustration came pouring out. I lunged forward and caught Katherine by the shoulders, dragging her close as I snarled in her face.

"_Me, Kathy…!"_ I gave her a rough shake._ "You're hurting ME!_"

For the first time in over half a century, Katherine actually looked scared of me. There was no mistaking the fear in her wide, golden eyes. She gasped as my fingers tightened painfully on her shoulders and – by some miracle – this sound penetrated the red haze of my anger. It suddenly hit me that I was hurting her. Shocked and shamed by my own actions, I thrust her away from me before I could do any serious damage.

I spun around with a vicious growl, desperately needing to vent my rage without turning on girl before me. Nearby, lay the massive boulder that I'd been sitting on only minutes before. Grabbing the heavy stone, I lifted it high above my head, wanting to smash it into a thousand pieces. From the corner of my eye I caught sight of Kathy's little shelter and my anger boiled over. Without a second thought, I hurled the boulder right at it, as hard as I could.

"_Leo…!_" Kathy cried out.

But it was too late. As my name left her lips, the huge stone landed smack on top of her home, flattening it with one terrifying crunch.

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Wow, this Saturday has rolled around quickly! **

**Just to say thank you for all the new list additions and reviews, they were lovely. :) And an extra thank you to Olivia and top blogger 101 for your reviews, sorry I couldn't PM you (and as a quick note to top blogger 101, I have no particular problem with you using some chapters for that short story thing, but I am curious to know what it is, so please feel free to drop me a line).**

**Anyway, that's basically covered everything I wanted to say this week. :) So have a lovely fortnight. I will post again in two weeks.**

**Thanks for reading, Mad :)**


	69. Leo, starting again

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

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><p><strong>A huge thank you to willowbae, my lovely beta, for being so helpful :)<strong>

**n.b. Please forgive Leo his cursing (which I normally avoid in this T-rated story), but given the circumstances, I think he has just cause.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 69.<strong>

**Leo – starting again**

The destruction was instant and complete, and for one brief moment I was filled with exhilaration. But that feeling was short-lived. As the final pieces of rock fell into the pile of rubble, which had just been a small stone hut, containing all of Kathy's worldly possessions, the true enormity of what I'd done came crashing down upon me.

"_Oh shit…!_"

I stood unmoving, paralysed by shock, staring at the consequences of my insane outburst. Just for a second, I hoped that I was just suffering from some terrible, stress-induced hallucination.

I couldn't have destroyed Kathy's home in a fit of rage.

I just _couldn't_.

But then I heard Kathy's stunned whisper behind me. "_Oh my God…_"

It seemed that I wasn't the only one who couldn't quite believe their eyes. Before I could bring myself to turn and face her, Katherine darted past me, towards the scene of devastation. She stopped a few feet away from the ruins, clasping her hands to her mouth in horror. I stayed frozen on the spot, watching her, praying that I was about to wake up from this nightmare.

After what seemed like an eternity, Kathy slowly turned to face me. Her expression was more shocked than accusatory.

"Why…?" She spoke in a low, pained voice. "Leo, _why_ did you do that…?"

I wished with all my heart that I had a decent explanation. "I… I…"

She turned away, ignoring my hopeless response, and stepped a little closer to the rubble. Kneeling down beside the broken rocks, she rested her hand on the huge stone, which now lay smack in the middle of her hut, and whispered.

"_I don't understand…_"

No, Kathy probably couldn't understand why I'd just done something so undeservingly destructive and cruel. She wasn't the only one. I was appalled. What the hell had I been thinking? I must have completely lost my mind.

My thoughts flew wildly, imagining how I could possibly make amends. Maybe if Kathy made a list, I could go back to civilisation and do some shopping… and then I could return to the island and help her build a new hut. Then somehow… _somehow_ I could make up for this debacle.

I finally unfroze and picked my way across the rocky ground towards Katherine. I halted a few feet away and gazed remorsefully at the smashed remains of her home.

They didn't look any better close-up.

I wasn't sure if I'd ever felt as regretful as I did at that moment, and that was saying a lot, considering all the terrible things that I'd done.

Kathy stayed where she was; head bowed, with her back to me, and her hand still resting gently on the boulder. She kept still for a long moment, saying nothing. I moved a little closer, driven by concern and remorse.

"Kathy..." I said quietly. "Are you ok?"

Katherine didn't reply. This was hardly surprising. It was a ridiculous question. Of course she wasn't ok. I had just crushed her house. God, I needed to apologise. I needed to say something. Tell her how sorry I was for what I had just done. How sorry I was for _everything_…

As I tried desperately to think of some way to make it all better, Kathy slowly rose to her feet and turned to face me. Her face was pale and tense. As she met my gaze, I saw something in her expression, which was wholly new. Under all her stubborn pride I could see defeat in her eyes. But she still raised her chin proudly and looked me straight in the eye.

"Are you happy now, tracker?"

This question caught me off-guard. "What…?" I stared at her aghast. "No… no, Kathy… I never meant…"

"Well you should be…" Kathy ignored my protests. Keeping her chin up, she continued in a controlled voice. "You've proved beyond a doubt what I've spent a lifetime trying to deny. My life is not my own. It never was, and it never will be. You can take it away from me. You can tear it apart… and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it.

"I can't stop you. You're bigger and stronger than me, and there's nowhere that I can run where you won't find me. I'm at your mercy and I always have been. I just never understood it until now." Somewhere under her cool acceptance, I could hear an echo of despair, but she still added unflinchingly. "I'll admit it. You've beaten me. You've won."

Kathy took a step closer, palms open, never taking her eyes from my face, and somewhere in their depths I could see the surrender of someone who really felt that they had reached the end of the line. My dead heart clenched to see just how far I had driven her.

Over the years Katherine had expressed revulsion and anger towards me, but these words touched me like no others. It was now painfully clear that she saw me as more than just someone to hate. In Kathy's mind I had become a figure of nightmares, a relentless, inescapable monster, and this knowledge shocked me deeply.

In an instant my pride, my bravado, everything I had worked so hard to maintain, fell away. I suddenly didn't care if Kathy knew my true feelings, or if she despised me for having them. We had gone so far beyond the point where any of it actually mattered. Nothing could be worse than what she already believed. I stared down at her with a terrible sense of sorrow.

"You think _this_ is a victory?" I replied bitterly, searching her lovely face. "Do you think that I've won, when after loving you for half a century, you still see me as a demon?"

"_What…?_" Kathy's eyes flew wide and she stared at me in shock. "What did you say?"

There was really no point in trying to deny it. "I said that I've been in love with you for over fifty years."

Those clear eyes never left my face. "That can't be true," she whispered. "You're lying."

"No, I'm not lying." I replied, shaking my head wearily. "The last fifty five years of my life would have been a hell of a lot easier if I was. But it's the truth. I love you, Kathy. I fell in love with you the very first time I saw you, though I didn't realise it until that evening at Point Lobos. I've never stopped since that day."

Poor Katherine, it really seemed that she hadn't had the slightest suspicion of my true feelings. She looked absolutely stunned.

"But… but…" she finally stammered. "But what about that human girl? The one you were in love with. The one you… you…"

At least this made it clear why she hadn't seen my confession coming. It seemed that I had some explaining to do. She looked so distraught that I felt very sorry for her, but there was no going back now.

"Um… yeah..." I replied gently. "There's something you probably need to know. Before I left San Francisco, Red told me what she'd said to you. But the thing is… well, I don't know exactly how to put this… but what she told you was wrong. Edward made a mistake. He saw _you_ in my memory. He didn't realise that you'd survived my bite. There was no other girl, Kathy. It was you. It's always been you…"

"No…" She shook her head in anguish. "No. If you loved me, you would have told me. You would have said _something_, Leo. I know you would have."

"When was I supposed to tell you?" A note of despair crept into my voice. "Maybe when I thought I was tracking you for food? Or how about after I turned you, when you very rightly hated my guts? I knew exactly how you felt about me, Kathy. There was _never_ a good time. I wish maybe there had been, but there never was."

"_Oh…_"

Katherine hardly seemed aware of me as she took a step back. Her expression was dazed as she tried to come to terms with these new revelations. But, on the upside, she no longer looked angry, or worse, desolate. I wasn't sure how long this mood would last, but it seemed like a good moment to throw in an apology, before her shock turned to outrage. I wanted to change the subject and concentrate on making amends.

"Look, you don't need to worry about any of that stuff, Kathy." I said, dismissing my revelations. "None of it matters. I only told you how I feel about you, so you'd know that I didn't come here to hurt you. I came because I was genuinely worried.

"I'm really sorry about your home." I met her eyes regretfully. "I can't tell you how much. I don't know what the hell I was thinking… I was just so angry. I know that's no excuse, but I swear that I didn't come here to hassle you, and I certainly didn't mean to do _that_." I pointed at the squashed hut. "Please believe me. I'm so, so sorry."

"I… I don't know what to say…" Katherine stared up at me in bewilderment. "This is all so… so… _unexpected_." She gave a small, hopeless gesture.

"You don't have to say, or do, anything. I'm not asking for you to forgive me, Kathy. Or return my feelings, they're not important. But please give me the chance to fix your house. I'll leave the second I'm done and I promise I won't ever bother you again. Just let me sort out this mess first. Please… I can't leave it like this, I just _can't_…"

The thought of deserting Katherine on a remote Arctic island, with nothing but a broken pile of rubble to keep her company, was too agonising to consider. I honestly couldn't imagine how I was going to tear myself away if she ordered me to go.

Katherine looked at me, and then stared down at the heap of rocks. She hardly seemed to know what to do. After a short pause, she glanced up and said.

"Um… I think I need a moment…"

With these words, she turned abruptly and walked away.

Kathy didn't look back as she headed towards the ocean. I made no move to stop her; I just silently watched her leave. For a few minutes I was worried that she might try and leave the island, but when she reached the shoreline, she came to a standstill, wrapping her arms around her middle and staring out to sea. After I spent ten minutes watching her gaze broodingly at the ocean, I accepted she really was just trying to gather her thoughts.

Although Kathy's reply had been a little ambiguous, it didn't seem like the moment to ask her to clarify. So I chose to believe that, since she hadn't actually refused my request to set things straight, she was agreeing to it, and I turned my attention to the broken heap of rubble that had recently been her home. As I inspected the remains, I had to admit that I'd done a real number on it.

I gave a deep sigh and set to work.

First of all, I had to remove the boulder to properly assess the damage. I climbed over the broken pieces of wall and debris, brushing some out of the way, and turned my attention to the huge stone. Firmly gripping the edges, I heard the rocks underneath clattering as I heaved the massive boulder up, and tossed it clear of the hut. When I was done I took a good look at what was left of Kathy's home.

My backpack and Kathy's harpoon had survived unscathed, since they'd been sitting outside the hut when the boulder hit, but apart from those things, what I saw wasn't too promising. The only remaining sections of wall stood no more than a foot off the ground. The rest of the shelter had imploded when my missile struck. The floor was now covered in wreckage.

I cautiously poked the rubble with my foot and noticed a small plastic box, half hidden beneath the stones. I knelt down and eagerly pushed the rocks away. Underneath I discovered the boxes and books that Kathy had kept in her alcove. By some miracle they hadn't all been destroyed by the impact of my assault, maybe because they were sitting in the wall, rather than on the floor of the hut.

The box containing the picture of Kathy and her brother was completely unharmed, and I could only thank my lucky stars that it had survived the devastation. I would have felt terrible if it had been ruined, but more importantly, Kathy would have taken it really hard. The Count of Monte Cristo hadn't been so lucky. The book was a total right-off, crushed and torn in two. I felt a pang as I lifted it from the wreckage. What needless destruction had I perpetrated?

I made a neat pile of rescued items on the ground nearby, which gradually grew as I cleared away all the fallen stones and found more salvageable items. Kathy's clothes were a little messed up, but still wearable and most of her tools had made it too, though some had to be bent back into shape.

As I worked, I kept half an eye on Katherine. She had moved away from the water's edge and perched herself on a rock. She was sat watching the sea and I was pleased to see that she looked relatively calm. The fact that she hadn't tried to stop my clear-up was encouraging.

I tried not worry too much about what Kathy was thinking, or if she was upset by my revelation. It was a bit late to do anything about that, anyway. I was even slightly surprised to discover that I didn't feel bad for declaring my true feelings. I would have assumed that such a confession would leave me feeling humiliated, but it didn't. I actually felt liberated, like a heavy burden had been lifted.

It probably helped that I had the more immediate problem of Kathy's shelter to contend with. I had to work slowly, so that I didn't accidentally do more damage to anything. It took me a while to clear all the rocks from the ground and uncover the fur rugs. They were a little grubby, but basically ok. It really did seem that the shelter had been far more damaged than its contents.

By the time I was done clearing out the rubble, the sun had sunk low in the sky, ready to make its nightly journey across the horizon. I was satisfied to see that the pile of recovered items was now pretty big, but then I remembered that there wouldn't actually be a need to recover anything, if it hadn't been for me and my stupid temper.

All that was left of the hut was now the bottom circle of wall and a stone floor. I knew that I was going to have to build it up again, and I had the ominous feeling that the job was going to be more difficult than it looked. I had made plenty of temporary shelters over the years, and I wasn't completely clueless when it came to practical stuff, but I'd seen what a great job Kathy had done on this one, and it was going to take real skill to reproduce.

I knelt for a long moment, considering the project and suddenly noticed that Kathy had deserted her rock and was strolling towards me. I stood up, feeling a little apprehensive. Katherine had been silently ruminating for hours, and I was worried about what she might say. She came to halt nearby. Her expression was surprisingly calm and collected, as she glanced at the pile of salvaged items.

"I found those inside…" I explained, looking shamefaced.

"Thanks." She nodded mildly and then turned her attention to the bare remains of the hut. "That was quick. You've done a good job."

For a second I wondered if she was being sarcastic, until I saw her face. She really seemed to mean it.

"Um…" I shifted uncomfortably. "Thanks… Now I just need to get it built again." I gave her an apologetic look. "It might take a while. And I can't promise that it will be as good as what you built, in fact I can guarantee it won't. Not that I won't try…" I added hurriedly.

Her expression softened and I was surprised when she gave me a small smile. "Would you like me to help?"

"Are you serious?" I gaped. This was the last thing I had expected her to say. "I mean, you don't have to. I don't mind doing it myself. In fact, I think I owe you."

Kathy shrugged. "That doesn't matter. It will be easier if we work together." She surveyed the scene with a thoughtful air. "There were a few things about my shelter that I would have liked to change. Well, now's my chance. I might even make it a little bigger…"

"Oh… ok." I nodded in agreement. "That sounds good."

I was unbelievably relieved that she hadn't turned on me with recriminations. It seemed that Kathy had decided to take a practical approach to our situation, and I really appreciated the fact.

"So…" I asked cautiously. "Where do you want to start?"

"Hm…" Katherine pursed her lips for a moment and then answered decisively. "New floor and foundations." She caught my eye and, to my surprise, I saw a glimmer of amusement in her expression. "You get to dig out the old ones, so I guess it's lucky for you that my tools survived."

She leaned down and grabbed a trowel from the pile, and tossed it to me. "There you go."

I caught it with a rueful smile. "Thanks."

She strolled over to the heap of stones that had once constituted the shelter walls. "I guess I'd better sort through these," she said speculatively. "I'll probably need to collect some more too, if I'm going to add the conservatory and games room I've always wanted."

"No problem."

And with those words we set to work, building Katherine's new shelter.

It was hardly surprising that when we started I was a little on edge, expecting a dispute to break out at any moment. Kathy seemed slightly awkward too, as if she was also waiting for trouble. But after that first uneasy day, things quickly settled between us.

It was a massive help that the task of building the shelter allowed us to focus on something other than our crappy relationship. When we were working together we had no trouble communicating, in fact we were on a surprisingly similar wavelength. The job itself was more interesting than I'd expected it to be, mainly because Kathy had some clever construction ideas and I started to feel as if we were building an absorbing stone puzzle.

By tacit agreement, neither of us mentioned my declaration of love, or our argument, or the fact that we were clearing up the damage caused by my temper tantrum, which also made things easier.

I might also have expected that admitting my feelings would make things slightly awkward between Kathy and me, but strangely enough, it seemed to have had the opposite effect. Somehow the truth had cleared the air between us. The bad feeling and tension, which had dogged our previous reunion, were completely absent.

For my own part, it made a nice change not to have that painful secret gnawing away inside, unspoken but always present. And Kathy's reaction to my confession hadn't been as horrendous as I would have expected. Ok, she hadn't exactly fallen into my arms with ecstasy, but she hadn't laughed in my face either.

No, Katherine was prepared to treat me like a human being, which – considering what she thought of vampires – was saying a lot. To be honest, her reaction was nothing short of a miracle. But I wasn't complaining, I just got on with the job and tried not to do anything unusually stupid or annoying.

It was in the middle of the third day of work that I came to another important realisation. I was sitting on the ground, near the construction site, smoothing down some rocks that Kathy had collected for the hut. She'd previously shown me how to get them slotting neatly together, to make a stronger and more compact wall. Kathy was nearby, industriously working on the new shelter walls. She was absorbed in her task and a comfortable silence had fallen between us.

I could hear the cries of the gulls as they circled over the sea and the reassuring sounds of the waves, rolling up the beach. I happened to glance along the shore and it suddenly struck me that my first impression of Kathy's island had been wrong.

I had thought of it as an empty rock in the middle of the ocean, with no appeal and absolutely nothing to offer. But after only a few days, I had begun to see that there was far more to the place than I'd realised. For a start, it was teeming with life. Maybe not the kind that could hold a conversation, but it was by no means empty.

All around me were living creatures, especially birds. I could hear them all the time, their calls and their movements, and I could smell them on the salty ocean breeze. If you wanted to be a million miles from anywhere, without really being alone, this was the place to do it.

And that wasn't all. The island itself had an untamed beauty, which was growing on me. With its rough beaches and wild terrain, there was something about the place that had already worked its way under my skin and touched the part of me that craved freedom. I suddenly realised that I felt happy there, working under a vast expanse of sky. I could finally see why Kathy had chosen this island. She had the same craving for liberty as I did.

While I was mulling over this new insight, Katherine glanced my way. "Are you ok, Leo?"

"Sure, I was just distracted for a moment." I grinned and stood up, carrying over the newly smoothed rocks. "Where do you want these?"

"Just dump them there, thanks." She smiled and pointed to the ground beside where she was working.

"There you go."

She looked pleased as she surveyed my handiwork. "Oh, those look great," she said generously. "Nice work."

I left her placing the stones, while I set to work, shaping some more. I was quite impressed by how the new shelter was coming on. Kathy had decided to build a bigger hut; she said that it would be easier to construct a larger domed roof with two people.

I had the ominous feeling that I was destined to stand for hours, bracing the half-finished roof, to stop it from falling down before the final pieces were in place. But Kathy wasn't going to hear any complaints from me, even if that was her plan. Let's face it; I owed her.

By day four, the shelter was coming along nicely and Kathy surprised me by laying down her work and sitting beside me.

"How would you like to take a couple of days off and go seal hunting?"

I gave her a sideways glance. "Are you serious…?"

"Sure." She tucked a wave of hair behind her ear. "We've been working really hard, and we could use a breather. You look like you haven't fed in a while. And the next part of the construction could get tricky, so this is a good moment to take a break, because once we start it won't be so easy, and if we don't feed we'll get really cranky… well," she amended with a smile. "_You'll_ get really cranky."

"Good point." I threw down my chisel. "I'm in."

"Great." Katherine stood up.

"You're going to let me have a turn with the harpoon, right?"

She glanced over her shoulder and smirked. "We'll see…"

Kathy changed into her swimsuit, and I put on my swim shorts. And when we walked down to the water's edge, I managed not to stare at her – well, not obviously anyway – and I felt pretty proud of myself. Of course, Katherine didn't throw me more than a cursory glance. Frankly, she wouldn't have shown the slightest interest in ogling me, even if I'd been strutting around in a pair of speedos.

She walked into the black waves, with a length of rope wrapped around her body and carrying her harpoon. I followed closely behind. The water was bitingly cold and quickly became very deep. We both dropped below the surface and swam underwater for miles. After my long journey out the island it made a nice change to have a travelling companion, and _not_ to have to tow a raft along with me. Kathy was a fast swimmer. She glided close beside me, shining white in the dark water. We headed east, towards the islands where seal colonies could be found.

Our hunting trip took the best part of three days, but I almost wished that it could have taken longer. I had never hunted in the water before, and it took some getting used to, but it was amazing.

Kathy was a great teacher. She had plenty of tricks and was prepared to take the time to show me what to do, which was lucky, because spearing a seal in the open sea was definitely harder than she made it look. She had one hell of a throwing arm and shot her harpoon through the water at spectacular speed. The rope came in handy, because she tied it to the harpoon and it stopped us losing the damn thing on my first few missed shots.

I had to admit that seal blood tasted kind of like fish, but at least there was enough of it to make a fairly satisfying meal. And they were difficult enough to hunt, that I had a genuine sense of achievement when I finally caught one. I could understand why Kathy didn't want to hunt them on land. It would have been like shooting fish in a barrel.

I wasn't the only one who was happy. Kathy really seemed to enjoy herself too. She smiled a lot and seemed to get a kick out of teasing me. And she looked truly regretful when she finally suggested that it was time to end our break, and head back to finish our work on the hut.

But most surprisingly, when we arrived back on the island, after our long, cold swim, it actually felt like a homecoming. Even though the 'home' was a half-built stone hut, which wasn't even mine, I actually experienced the same happy familiarity that I did when I walked into my home in San Francisco. It seemed that Kathy shared my feelings. As we trudged up the beach, she glanced at the hut and grinned.

"Home, sweet home."

I answered with a cryptic smile. "I'm just glad that none of it fell down while we were away."

Katherine turned to me and smiled, and as she did the light of the low evening sun caught her face, making her skin shimmer with soft yellow light. Her hair was dark from the water, but her eyes looked as if they had been dipped in the purest gold. The effect was breath-taking and almost other-worldly. I couldn't look away. Kathy's smile faded as she met my gaze. She tilted her head, her expression became cautious.

"What are you looking at?"

"You…" I replied slowly. "You look beautiful. You look like a golden angel."

"Oh…" Katherine's eyes dropped self-consciously. She was clearly embarrassed by my unexpected compliment. "Um… well… I don't know about that," she mumbled, suddenly not knowing where to look.

I hadn't intended to make her uncomfortable, so I quickly apologised. "I'm sorry, Kathy. I shouldn't have said that."

"No… no, really it's fine. I guess I'm not…" She took a deep breath and added quietly. "I mean… thank you."

I was surprised to detect shyness in Kathy's voice. She was usually pretty confident, and I figured that any girl who looked the way she did would be used to receiving compliments. Hell, I'd thought she looked like an amazon the first time I set eyes on her, and that was _before_ she'd been enhanced with vampire attractiveness. But that didn't explain her bashfulness now. Much as I could have tried to analyse her reaction, I didn't want to make her feel any more embarrassed than she already did, so I turned away and changed the subject.

"So…" I glanced ruefully at the shelter and joked. "You really think the roof needs some work…?"

Katherine relaxed. "Yeah." She then added with determined briskness. "So, I guess we'd better get started."

I glanced down at my shorts, which were still soaked from the swim. "Am I allowed to get dressed first?"

She rolled her eyes and refused to dignify my question with a reply.

For the next few days we worked on finishing the shelter. I was right about my role. I spent a fair amount of time standing inside, propping up the half-built roof.

And Kathy only poked me in the ribs once.

Unfortunately for her, I jolted in surprise and several rocks fell on her head, so she learned the hard way that it was a bad idea to startle the guy who was holding up the ceiling, and didn't risk it again.

When the roof was done, we took a couple more days smoothing down the interior walls and completing the shelter. It looked pretty good when we were finished, a perfectly circular stone hut, with a large domed roof. We had included two small slits for windows, so it was lighter inside than the previous structure. There was a neat alcove for her books and belongings, and all the fur rugs went back on the flat stone floor. Kathy hung the waterproof sheeting over the new arched doorway, and neatly tied it to one side.

When everything was in place, we stepped back and proudly surveyed the finished shelter. It was an improved version of the first one, which eased my conscience slightly. I was still sorry for the things that had been broken, but at least nothing truly irreplaceable had been destroyed. Kathy came to stand beside me, folding her arms over her chest and admiring our handiwork.

"It looks really good." She turned to me with a shy smile. "Thanks for your help, Leo."

I shrugged, feeling slightly embarrassed. "Don't mention it. I'm just really sorry that I was such a jerk and destroyed your home in the first place."

"Oh well," she said magnanimously. "I guess I'm the winner. This one is much better."

"Thanks, Kathy. Thanks for being so nice about everything."

Katherine would never know how grateful I was that she'd allowed me to make amends.

She just shook her head. "Don't worry about it..."

I turned back to the shelter and allowed myself to bask in the pleasure of a job well done. Just for a moment, I chose to live in the now, and pretend that it wasn't time for me to leave, even though my heart told me that my stay on Emerald Isle was nearly over. The task was completed and there was no further reason for me to remain. Kathy hadn't yet mentioned my departure, but I knew that it would only be a matter of time before I had officially outstayed my welcome. I figured I had a day left on the island, at best.

"You know something?" Kathy suddenly broke the silence, turning to me impulsively. "I think this deserves a celebration. After all, it's not every day that you finish building a house."

"Sure." I smiled at her enthusiasm. "How do you celebrate in this place? Is there a bar I don't know about?"

"When I finished the last hut, I built a small fire." Her expression became a little dreamy. "I know it probably sounds silly, but it was nice, almost like some old pagan ritual of giving thanks. This place always seems so primeval, like time works differently out here. Who knows what ancient spirits have survived? I don't know… it just felt right…"

To be honest, I didn't care what Kathy wanted to do. I would have agreed to anything, as long as it made her happy.

"Great, I can handle a fire." I nodded approvingly.

"Are you sure?" She suddenly seemed a little doubtful.

"Absolutely, but what are we supposed to burn? There isn't much firewood around here."

This could have been because there were no trees.

"I just gathered dry grass and plants from the island, including old roots, and found dry seaweed on the shore. It didn't burn for very long, but it was pretty while it lasted, and smelled nice too." Katherine glanced around thoughtfully. "And there are a few things that didn't survive being hit by the boulder… we could burn them too. Like the Count of Monte Cristo."

"Well, I guess he deserves a proper send off."

"He certainly does."

So the rest of the afternoon was spent gathering fuel for our 'sacrificing local weeds to the pagan gods to bless Kathy's new hut' bonfire. We ended up with a large pile of dry plants and seaweed, and when the sun finally began to skirt the horizon, the time came to light it.

Kathy built a small stone circle near the front entrance of her hut. She said that it would be better to slowly feed the fire, rather than throw everything on at once. Otherwise it wouldn't last more than a few minutes. I had to admit that she had a point. Nothing we'd found looked exactly slow burning. There hadn't been much coal lying around the island.

I had taken a light-hearted attitude to building this bonfire, but when Katherine placed the remains of the Count of Monte Cristo into the stone circle and covered it in sweet smelling dried grass, a strange solemnity came upon me. Maybe Kathy was right, and there were some ancient spirits still present in this remote place. I certainly didn't feel like joking as I watched her light the fire.

Katherine coaxed the tongues of flame onto the grass, and once the book caught alight, she sat down on the huge stone slab, which we had placed as a doorstep to the hut. I sat on the ground nearby, with my back leaning against the doorstep and one elbow resting on my knee, watching the flames as they engulfed the best book I had ever read.

We hardly spoke as the fire burned. Every now and again one of us would throw something onto the flames. We just watched quietly as the sparks flew upwards and listened to the dry seaweed crackle. The midnight sun shone low over the island, and the sea ahead was dim in the subdued light, making the white lights of the fire glow bright.

There was something calming and hypnotic about this fire. It seemed to weave magic around me, a powerful spell that lulled my restlessness and made me feel at peace for the first time in years. I wasn't the only one who succumbed to its effects. I could sense Katherine relaxing, as she leaned back against the doorframe with a small sigh.

I tossed more dry roots into the flames and glanced at the sky, and my feelings of peace were replaced by ones of sadness. In a few short hours the midnight sun would climb and it would be time for me to leave.

I hadn't yet discussed my departure with Katherine, because it would make it seem too real, but when the sun rose I would have no choice. At least my backpack was mostly packed, and my raft could be inflated quickly. But none of this made me feel any better about my imminent departure.

Katherine's quiet voice interrupted my thoughts. "You're going to leave when the sun rises, aren't you?"

So Kathy had already guessed my intentions. It was no surprise really; she'd always understood me pretty well. I glanced over my shoulder and caught her eye. Shadows from the fire danced across her face and her expression was serious.

"Yeah." I smiled, trying to speak lightly, but not entirely succeeding. "It's time I got going."

She nodded slowly. "You won't come back… will you? You'll stay away from me from now on?"

I remembered the way Kathy looked when said that she could never escape me, the defeat in her eyes. I never wanted to see that expression on her face again. I tried to reassure her.

"I swear it," I replied earnestly, never looking away. "I'm sorry I made you feel trapped, but you've got nothing to worry about. I won't be coming back. And I promise to steer clear if I ever cross your scent again."

"You'll really do that for me?"

Katherine tilted her head questioningly and the look in her eyes was hard to read. I didn't try to second-guess her and just told the truth.

"I'm not saying it'll be easy. But, yeah, I will. I know I'm not exactly a nice guy, but I do want you to be happy, Kathy, even though I sometimes have a funny way of showing it." I added, thinking of her squashed house. I then glanced away and shrugged. "I'll never stop missing you though… I don't think I could."

After a long moment, she answered. "So…" she said gently. "When you told me you loved me, you really meant it."

I kept my eyes on the flames. I just couldn't look at her. "You know I did."

This time Katherine remained silent. I didn't particularly want her to speak, there wasn't anything to say and I was just glad that I didn't have to lie to her anymore. I continued staring ahead. I wanted to believe that the sun would never rise and the fire would burn forever, and that I would be allowed to stay exactly where I was.

But those things were impossible. All too soon the fire burned low. When I glanced at the ground, I realised that we were almost out of fuel and that I was out of time. I gathered the very last of the seaweed into a bundle and threw it onto the flames.

"Well, I guess that's it…" I had no right to sound bitter, but somehow I still did and I hated myself for it. I quickly rose to my feet. "I'm sorry…"

I glanced at Kathy. She was watching me with wide eyes, which didn't make it any easier. It just made me feel guilty for sounding offhand.

"I just… I just…" I fumbled for the right words and tried to pull myself together. "I'd better get ready to go."

My pack was inside the shelter and Kathy was sitting in the doorway, partially blocking my way. She quickly stood up, but instead of moving to let me through, she remained on the doorstep facing me. The stone step gave her enough height to look me straight in the eye, and I found myself locked in her gaze.

"Can I ask you something, Leo?"

"Of course you can." I nodded slowly, taking note of her serious expression.

"I know it's a strange question, but there's something I need to know." She looked uncertain, nervous even, when she finally asked. "Who was the last human you fed from?"

I was surprised by her question, and it wasn't exactly my favourite memory, but I could at least give her the respect of an honest reply.

"It was you, Kathy," I admitted guiltily. "I'm so sorry. You were my last victim."

"But, how can that be true? You left me to go hunting with that girl, Dominica." Her eyes searched my face, looking for a lie. "You may have forgotten, but I haven't..."

"You think I could forget that?" I replied bitterly. "I remember exactly what I did, what I said, when I left you. I even tried to make myself believe that I meant it. But I couldn't go through with it." I remembered the whole sordid incident and it shamed me. "Dominica and I did go hunting, we even managed to track some hikers, but when I went for the kill it was horrible.

"All I could see were my memories of you, unconscious in my arms and covered in blood, and I couldn't do it, Kathy, I just _couldn't_. I pushed the guy away and Dominica killed him instead. She thought I'd gone crazy when I refused to feed, it felt that way to me too, but that didn't make any difference. I haven't touched a drop of human blood since yours. At first I just couldn't take the memories and now I wouldn't want to, even if I could."

"Thank you for telling me." Katherine didn't seem angry, just speculative. She took a small step forward and her scent crept around me in a silent benediction. "I believe you."

"Thanks." I shook my head regretfully, thinking how different everything could have been. "I just wish that I'd changed my habits before we met. I wish I could have spared your life."

"I know you do." She gave a small, understanding smile and her voice dropped low. "There's just one more thing I need to ask you, before you go."

"What is it?" I replied cautiously, unable to look away.

Kathy reached out her hand and my whole body stiffened. She paused for a second, before placing her soft palm on my chest, just below my collarbone. She looked deep into my eyes and whispered.

"Will you please stay?"

I honestly didn't know what surprised me the most, her question, or the fact that she was actually touching me. I could hardly comprehend her words, let alone answer them. My thoughts were consumed by the gentle press of her hand on my chest, and the warmth radiating from her body, as she leaned in close. Only one word made it out of my confusion.

"_Why…?_"

"Because I…" Katherine lowered her gaze, hiding her eyes under those long dark lashes, and took a steadying breath.

"You what…?" I quietly pressed her to continue.

This would have been a good time to take a step back, before I did anything that I might regret, but I couldn't think straight. Not when an angel was just within my grasp.

Kathy's gaze remained lowered, but my eyes never left her lovely face. She was very beautiful. Her features were in perfect harmony, from the delicate line of her cheek to the soft curve of her lips. But the radiance, which held me transfixed, went far beyond than anything physical. Etched in every line of her face I could see strength, wisdom and endurance. I could see her beautiful soul.

Her hand still rested on my chest, but instead of moving away, I found myself reaching out and pulling her closer, bringing us chest to chest. Kathy finally raised her eyes to my face, and the expression in their golden depths made me catch my breath. The last time she had looked at me that way, her eyes were still a transparent blue.

Her lips were dangerously close to mine and I reacted just as I had all those years ago. Without a second thought, I leaned in and kissed her.

I might have expected resistance, but instead of pushing me away, Kathy yielded instantly, slipping her arms around my neck and drawing me closer. I wrapped an arm around her waist and held her tightly as her soft lips moved with mine. Pressing her back against the doorframe, I deepened our kiss and she melted against me, whispering my name with such longing that it nearly drove me wild. No girl had ever affected me as powerfully as she did. No one even came close.

I hadn't kissed Katherine in over fifty years, but I would have sworn that no time had passed since then. She still felt the same, except a little less fragile, and tasted the same, just without the agonising lure of human blood flowing through her veins. The connection that I'd recognised all those years ago was still there, but this time there was no confusion and no deadly temptation to destroy us. This time it felt right.

Kathy's need matched my own. I could feel her desire, smouldering beneath the surface, as she returned my kiss. It would have been so easy to push her further, and it took nearly everything I had to force myself – force us both – to slow down. Keeping one arm fastened around her waist, I moved my free hand to the nape of her neck. Twisting my fingers through her hair, I gently tilted her head back and stared into her face. She slowly opened her eyes and met my heated gaze.

I searched her face. "Tell me you mean this, Kathy."

I sounded fiercer than I'd intended, but my feelings were too strong to hold in check. I needed to know that this was real, before I gave away the very last shreds of my soul. Katherine just met my gaze with an untroubled expression.

"Of course I mean it…" Her eyes softened and she added. "I love you, Leo."

I froze. "What did you say?" My voice was barely a whisper.

Kathy never looked away. "I said _I love you_."

I never knew it was possible to feel so happy, but when I heard those words, I honestly felt as if true life had returned to my body. Before I knew it, I had caught her in my arms and lifted her off her feet. She gasped and laughed, and clung to me as I hugged her tightly and showered her face with kisses.

"You really mean it?"

She nodded and hugged me back. "Absolutely."

"I love you too, beautiful." I kissed her ear and breathed in her intoxicating scent. "I love you so much."

It felt amazing to say the words, and it occurred to me that I'd never said them to any other girl. I had never felt that way about anyone else, either human or immortal. I held her close and murmured in her ear.

"That's the truth, Kathy." I slowly lowered her to her feet and gazed at her reverently. "It's always been you."

Katherine glanced up. She caught sight of my face and raised her hand, gently running her fingers along my jaw. "Leo… you look so serious…"

I captured her hand in mine. "I am serious. I've never felt this way about anyone else." I stared down at her slender fingers. "You need to understand that if you start something with me now, I won't ever be able to let you go… even if I know I should." I glanced up nervously. "I'm not trying to scare you, Kathy… I guess I just want to tell you how serious I am. And give you a chance to think things through, and decide if this is really what you want, before it's too late."

I hated to say the words, but they were too important to avoid. I loved Katherine with every part of my being, but I didn't want to trap her into staying with me. She had to have the choice.

Kathy wound her fingers through mine and clasped them tightly. Her expressive eyes glowed as she moved closer.

"I'm not afraid and I don't need to think anything through. I want this. I want _you_." She placed her free hand on my chest and leaned in, until our lips were almost brushing. "Don't you understand? I love you, Leo. I belong with you and I always have, so please don't ever let me go again."

It was incredible, unbelievable, but Kathy actually seemed to be telling the truth. I could hear the sincerity in every word, and this knowledge filled me with gratitude and a burning desire to make her happy. I made a promise to myself right then, that whatever the future held for us, I would spend the rest of my existence proving that her faith in me was justified.

"Thank you." I lifted her chin and kissed her tenderly. "I swear to you, Kathy. I'll do everything in my power to make you happy."

Katherine's arms circled my neck and I saw a flash of desire in her eyes. A slow smile curled her lips, just before they met mine. "Now _that_ sounds promising…"

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Hi there, **

**Just a quick note to say that I am going to be taking a break from one posting session, so the next chapter will be posted on the 17th August (in four weeks). The reason is fairly straightforward. I am going on my summer holidays and I would love to have a proper break without worrying about editing and posting. After that I should return to my usual schedule, and I hope that this doesn't cause too much disruption. I look forward to posting again soon. :)**

**The good news (for anyone who is wondering what has become of Nessie and Jake) is that the next chapter will be about Seth's wedding...!**

**Anyway, have a lovely month, thanks for reading. **

**See you soon, ****Mad :)**


	70. Nessie, Marie's big day

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

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><p><strong>Thank you to my beta, willowbae, who also loves a good wedding :)<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 70.<strong>

**Nessie – Marie's big day**

Seth and Marie's August wedding rolled around quicker than humanly possible, leaving me wondering where on earth all the time had gone.

When my summer term finished, I left college and Seattle. My parents tried to persuade me to let them bankroll the rest of my degree, but I found that I could not accept their generous offer in good conscience, and politely – and repeatedly – refused.

My final week at college was very sad, as was my last day working in the book store, but I threw a really big 'goodbye party', and promised to keep in touch with everyone, and ended up with a list of email addresses and phone numbers as long as my arm.

Jake helped me move my things back to Grandpa's house, though he looked a little daunted when he saw how much junk I had accumulated in my year away from home.

I hadn't decided what I wanted to do with my life, but in the meantime, Grandpa found me a part-time job, performing simple administrative tasks at the police station. The pay was fine and it beat having to work all hours as a waitress, so I was more than happy to go into the station for four days a week and tidy their filing cabinets.

The station even turned out to be a little more interesting than I was expecting. I had not fooled myself into thinking that Forks Police Department could offer much excitement, but I hadn't accounted for Yvonne Nowicki, the world-class gossip, who worked on the front desk. She seemed to have dirt on just about everyone in town, and wasn't afraid to dish it. It was ironic that, since she knew just about everything about everyone, she was so oblivious of the supernatural elements within the local community.

I spent my weekends with Jake at La Push. It was an unusually warm summer, and the sunny days merged into one another, as July slipped by at a terrifying speed. Like every single member of the pack, I spent most of the month helping with Seth's wedding preparations. And although I sometimes felt as if the big day would never arrive, at long last it finally did.

The wedding was on the first Saturday in August. I stayed with Jake the night before, and we were up at sunrise on Saturday morning to get ready for the ceremony. The day dawned bright and sunny, and I took it as a good omen that, after all Marie's careful planning, there was absolutely no sign of rain. Jake had to go out early, to help with some last minute arrangements, and I was left in peace to get ready.

I felt a certain amount of pressure about my appearance that day and didn't want to let anyone down. Since Jake was an alpha wolf, I was under a higher degree of scrutiny than most of the other imprints, and this was always exacerbated by the fact that I was a vampire hybrid. But the pressure was even worse than usual, because Jake had agreed to be Seth's best man.

I knew that I was going to be on show, and I felt as if I was a public relations disaster just waiting to happen. But I was determined to do my best and not embarrass myself any more than was strictly necessary.

I had a nice quiet breakfast and shower, and then spent a nearly an hour fixing my hair into a cascade of loose waves, with white camellias pinned at one side. It took a great deal of time to produce a convincingly glamorous-but-spontaneous-looking hairstyle.

When my hair was done, I put on my new dress. It had cost me a fortune, but it really had been love at first sight in the shop. The garment was made of flowing blue satin, the colour of dark sapphires, cut to the knee and beautifully fitted with a touch of nineteen forties elegance. I slipped on a pair of high heeled, silver sandals to complete the look.

When I was finished, I turned back and forth in front of the mirror, staring critically at my reflection. My outfit was stylish, sophisticated, but not too showy. After all, it wasn't my wedding, and I'd been taught – through attending Aunt Rose's numerous nuptials – that it was bad manners to wear anything too attention-grabbing on someone else's big day.

I was interrupted by the sound of the front door opening. I hurried into the living room, just as Jake entered the house, wearing a pair of old jeans and a dirty t-shirt.

He caught sight of me and gave a low whistle.

"Do you like it…?" I asked nervously, glancing down.

He came closer, unable to tear his eyes away from my dress. "Wow, honey… just… _wow!_"

I gave a bashful smile. "Thanks."

Jake stopped in front of me and stared down admiringly. "You know, every time I think that you couldn't possibly look more beautiful, you suddenly do."

I blushed and let my eyes fall. "You're just saying that…"

Jacob lowered his head to look me straight in the eye. His heated gaze left no room for misinterpretation. "If I wasn't covered in dirt, I'd show you how sincere I am." My breath caught in my throat and he gave a sudden smile. "But as it is, I'm going to take a shower… a very, very cold shower."

I smiled and stood on tiptoes, and placed a small kiss on his lips. "There's always later..."

"Damn, honey. How am I going to concentrate during the ceremony now?"

"I'm sure you'll manage." I smirked, gently propelling him towards the bathroom.

"No seriously…" Jake glanced over his shoulder. "We're not hanging around to clean up after the wedding. We're coming _straight_ home."

"Nice try, but we already promised Seth that we'd help. Sue and Emily are counting on us."

When we reached the bathroom door, he turned to me. "They'll understand."

"Yeah right, like I'm _really_ going to take Emily aside and explain that we want to skip the clear-up, so that we can hurry home and get busy."

Jacob gave a wide grin. "How many times do you think Sam has used that excuse to get out of a pack meeting?"

"Geez, Jake," I protested, pushing him into the bathroom. "Too much information, already." I suddenly stopped dead and glared at him. "I hope you don't say that kind of thing about us."

Jake tried to hide his guilt by replying briskly. "I'd better hurry, if we're going to make it to the ceremony."

I rolled my eyes and closed the door. "I'll leave you in peace."

To give him credit, Jake transformed himself in the shortest space of time. Gone were the sweaty clothes and dirt, and they were replaced by an impeccable grey suit and expensive aftershave. With his height and broad shoulders, he filled out the suit perfectly, and I couldn't help feeling extremely proud of my handsome boyfriend.

I offered to tie his silk tie, but only because I wanted to steal a kiss. Luckily, Jake was more than willing to oblige me. Eventually he pulled away and grinned.

"Keep that up, and we're going nowhere…"

"Spoilsport…" I muttered, turning my focus to creating the perfect knot.

Jake watched me closely while I worked, the corner of his mouth raised in a small smile. When the tie was arranged to perfection, he kissed my forehead.

"Thanks."

I winked and lightly stroked his cheek. "You're welcome." I looked at the clock and grabbed my purse from the couch. "We'd better get going."

"Sure." He glanced around, checking to see if there was anything missing.

"You've got your speech?"

He tapped his pocket. "Yeah."

"Seth's got the rose buttonholes, right?"

Jake nodded. "He said to collect one from him, when I arrived."

"Did you leave some spare clothes at Seth's? You'll probably need them later."

"Yeah, I did. How about you?"

"I dropped mine off yesterday. And some boots."

It seemed like a good plan to have some ordinary clothes at the ready, if we were to help with the postnuptial clear-up. My satin dress probably wouldn't survive that kind of work.

We hurried out of the front door, and just as Jacob put the key into the lock, I placed a hand on his arm. I knew that he was feeling pretty stressed about the day ahead. Between his responsibilities as Seth's Alpha and best man, he was feeling the pressure.

"Just in case I forget to say it later, good luck. You're going to do fine."

He placed a large hand over mine and squeezed my fingers. "Thanks… that means a lot."

Jacob finished locking the door and took my hand, and led me on the short walk to Seth's house, where the ceremony was due to take place.

Just before Grandpa Charlie married Sue, he built an extension onto his house, so that there was plenty of room for Leah and Seth to move to Forks with her, which they did. But they didn't sell their home on the reservation, they just rented it out.

When Marie and Seth got engaged, they expressed a wish to move back to the Clearwater house. But before they could move in, they had to do a lot of work on the place – it needed some major repairs and refurbishments, inside and out – and it was finally finished about a month before their marriage.

They'd done a fantastic job on the place, and on the day of the wedding it looked very bridal, painted a lovely fresh white and decorated with flowers.

Between Seth's house and the treeline there was a small, grassy field. Marie had set her heart on getting married there. The site certainly had potential for an outdoor wedding. The surrounding forest scenery would have made an attractive backdrop to any function, and there was plenty of space.

Marie had planned a large, semi-outdoor event. She would have liked to do the whole thing outside, but having no shelter seemed a little risky, when you took the local climate into consideration. So she'd compromised by hiring an elegant, white marquee, which was pitched on the one side of the grass, near the house. The weather forecast was good, so the ceremony was arranged outside, but the dinner and dance afterwards were going to be held in the marquee.

When they announced their engagement, I'd wondered if Marie and Seth would have a traditional Quileute wedding, like some of the other pack members, but Marie said that she'd always wanted a fairy-tale white wedding. I had a deep suspicion that she'd probably been planning the event since she was about five years old. Jake laughed when I told him that, but he made me promise never to repeat my theory to Seth.

Marie had chosen a white rose wedding theme, and her arrangements could have given Aunt Alice a run for her money. A large number of tall, white poles had been spiked into the ground, encircling the grass and marquee. They were decorated with silky white ribbons and roses, and heavy garlands of flowers trailed from pole to pole, surrounding the venue with flowers.

There were beautiful bunches of white roses everywhere, at the end of each row of seats, on all the tables, on the veranda of the house, by the entrance, but the most spectacular display was the floral arch, where Seth and Marie planned to say their vows. I thought that all the flowers were stunning and smelled wonderful.

We were some of the first people to arrive. Jake felt that, since he was the best man, he should make an early appearance. Seth seemed relieved to see him; he was probably worried that Jake might be late. Seth looked really great, in a perfectly fitting suit and exquisite silk tie.

The ushers, Quil and Embry, turned up just after us, also looking sharp in their grey suits. Marie had originally suggested that the guys wear white, and while Seth would have agreed to _anything_ to please her, the best man and ushers vetoed Marie's choice and a compromise was reached with the grey.

I suppressed a smile as all the guys compared suits and ties, pretending like they were joking even though they were deadly serious, and when they eventually complimented me on my dress, it was clearly just an afterthought, tagged on to be polite.

After handing out the rose buttonholes, Seth was pulled into a conversation with the minister. I was glad to see that he was in very good spirits. This was hardly a surprise; the wolves always looked like Christmas had come early when they married their imprints. Prenuptial cold feet were unheard of in the pack.

Gradually the seats began to fill, as more guests arrived. Grandpa Charlie and Sue turned up fairly early, as did Marie's extensive family, many of whom had travelled down from the Makah reservation the night before. Since Marie and Embry were cousins, he was put in charge of seating the bride's side of the wedding.

Marie was getting ready at Emily's house, along with a large number of bridesmaids and flower girls. She had diplomatically asked every single one of the wolves' daughters to be flower girls or bridesmaids, and had also asked Quil's girlfriend, Claire, to be her maid of honour. This meant that a number of wolves arrived alone, or just with their sons, because their wives were helping their daughters to get ready.

Not that it was obvious that anyone was missing, there were so many people there. Billy arrived with Paul and his two sons, William and Chris. Rachel was at Emily's with their thirteen year old daughter, Naomi. That girl was undoubtedly the apple of her father's and grandfather's eyes. Her Uncle Jake viewed her a little more objectively, and was prepared to admit – in spite of his fondness for his niece – that she was a minx, but neither of us had any doubt that she would make a very striking bridesmaid.

Jake was the first to see Leah and Greg arrive, he hurried through the throng to meet them, and I followed him. They looked great, Greg could rival any of the pack in his suit, and Leah was looking very pretty in a chic lilac dress, with her glossy hair flowing around her shoulders.

Just as Jake reached them, his eyes narrowed, and he gave Leah a long look. She returned his stare with a stern frown.

"Just don't…"

I had no idea what she was talking about, but he smirked. "Is that the way to say 'hi' to your favourite wolf?"

"Ok, you can cut the crap," she snapped, but her blush was at odds with her sharp tone. "Just get it over with, and say what you're thinking."

She glanced up; her expression half embarrassed, half hopeful. Jake's eyes softened and he reached out and hugged her.

"I'm really happy for you, Leah. You'll make a great mom."

I tried to get my head around this startling new development. _Leah was pregnant! _

Leah hugged Jake tightly. "Thanks, Jake. That means a lot." She pulled back and added in a fierce undertone. "I know you can't hide it from the guys, but don't mention it to anyone else, ok? Seth already knows, but he's sworn to secrecy. I haven't told Mom yet."

Jake's eyebrows flew up in surprise. "Really? Why not?"

"We only just found out this week, so it's early days," she explained hurriedly. "And I don't want to distract any attention from Seth and Marie. This is their big day and I'm not going to hijack it. I'll give Mom the news tomorrow, when it's all over."

"Ok," Jake caught my eye meaningfully. "We won't say anything."

I nodded and glanced at Greg, who was grinning from ear to ear. Jake shook his hand and congratulated him. I knew that Leah had stopped phasing shortly after imprinting on Greg. She had mentioned that they wanted kids, but she had no idea if that was even possible. I often felt that Leah had drawn the short straw by being the only girl in the wolf pack, and I was really glad that things seemed to be working out for her. I moved forward to hug and congratulate them both.

"Wow, that's amazing. I'm so happy for you."

"Thanks, Nessie."

"Were you surprised?" I asked with a smile.

"You have no idea." Leah laughed and exchanged glances with Greg. "I can still hardly believe it. I never thought it would happen…"

She sounded uncharacteristically emotional and Greg slipped his arm around her waist and hugged her. "I don't think either of us did. But we kept hoping."

Leah gave him a teasing look. "Greg was so shocked when I told him the good news that he accidentally proposed."

"_What?_" I squeaked. And then glanced around self-consciously, hoping that no one had heard my outburst and lowered my voice, adding in an excited whisper. "Oh my God! You're _engaged!_"

She shook her head. "No, we're not engaged… we got married the day before yesterday."

This piece of news was almost too much for me, I momentarily lost for words. Before I could explode with excitement, Jake took put his arm around me and muttered.

"Before you start shrieking, just count to ten and breathe."

"Ok… ok…" I nodded. "I can do that."

While I was counting – and trying not to jump up and down – Greg and Leah described their courthouse ceremony. They got the licence on Monday and married on Thursday.

"We didn't care about all the big wedding stuff," said Leah, squeezing Greg's hand. "We just wanted to get married."

"That's the most romantic thing ever..." I sighed.

Jake gave a wicked grin. "No way. _This_ wedding is the most romantic thing ever."

"Tell me about it." Leah rolled her eyes and chuckled. "That's probably why we got married in the courthouse. We couldn't cope with one more conversation about weddings. We'd all go nuts."

I gave an unladylike snort of laughter, and then felt a little guilty when I remembered how painstakingly Marie had planned her big day. It seemed a bit mean to laugh.

We wound our way through the crowd to our front row of seats, beside Sue and Charlie. We sat down and Leah had the chance to speak to some of the wolves, while we were waiting for the ceremony to start. I could tell that they all instantly realised she was pregnant, but they somehow refrained from blurting out the news in front of her mother.

Sam was sitting in the row directly behind us, with Jonathan and little Ben, who both looked adorable in their formal wedding clothes. Emily hadn't arrived yet. She was helping Jennifer and the other bridesmaids get ready. Ben came to sit on my knee, and Leah and Greg turned around and had a friendly conversation with Sam and Jonathan. Jared and Kim arrived and sat beside Sam, with their sons, Jared Jr and Martin – or Lover-man and Big-mouth, as Jake preferred to call them.

The weather was warm and sunny, and all the guests looked cheerful, as they found their seats and chatted, while the pre-wedding music selection played softly in the background. Marie had had the sense to hire a DJ, rather than let one of the wolves loose on the sound equipment, and the resulting music was pleasant and atmospheric, rather than loud and jarring.

It wasn't long before the pack wives appeared, heralding the arrival of the bride. They hurried to their seats, and within minutes several white limousines drove up, carrying the bride and all her bridesmaids. We all rose to our feet, and Jake followed Seth to stand by the minister.

Over a dozen bridesmaids and flower girls clambered out of the first three cars, looking like fluttering petals in lacy white dresses, with white roses in their hair and baskets of flowers in their hands. The effect of the frothy skirts and flowers was very eye-catching, and I noticed the proud expressions on the faces of numerous bridesmaids' parents. They had reason to look so delighted; their daughters all looked so dainty and pretty.

The littlest flower girls were paired with older ones, Marie had probably realised that to put the tiny ones together would be a recipe for disaster. Jennifer was the first down the aisle, looking very sweet and shy, as she helped her small charge scatter rose petals on the ground. The little girl got carried away, and nearly threw her basket on the floor as well.

Sam and Emily looked as if they might burst with pride while they watched their beautiful daughter, and Ben, who had refused to leave my side, asked to be picked up, so that he could see what was happening.

Paul and his family beamed as Naomi passed them, with her pretty head held high, looking rather pleased with all the attention. When she reached the front rows, I noticed the sideways glance that she threw Jared Jr from under her dark eyelashes. I had the distinct impression that La Push's junior Casanova had met his match, and sincerely hoped that Jennifer Uley had abandoned her crush on him.

There was a well-deserved murmur of approval when Marie made her grand entrance, behind the bridesmaids. She walked on the arm of her uncle, looking like a queen, resplendent in white silk and lace. The dress was a masterpiece of wedding couture, elegant and perfectly fitted to slender form. Rustling silk flowed in a long train behind her, as she proceeded gracefully down the aisle.

She wore a veil, which covered her face, but this somehow this only served to enhance, rather than hide, her moment of supreme loveliness. The white lace frosted her silky dark hair and softened her features, crowning her as the eternal bride, beautiful and ethereal as she moved forward to meet her groom.

I glanced at Seth, who stood, transfixed, watching Marie with an expression which was somewhere between adoration and speechless awe. When she reached him, she took his hand and glanced up nervously. When she caught sight of his expression, her face instantly broke into a relieved smile. It was probably difficult to feel anxious when someone looked at you with such transparent approval.

The ceremony started and Seth and Marie looked very serious as they recited their vows. Their words were simple and classic, much to my relief. I'd had to smother the giggles on several previous occasions, while couples recited lengthy, self-written promises of undying devotion and unquenchable passion.

Jake played his part with the rings. And after the vows were spoken, Claire, the maid of honour, gave a reading. Marie had chosen a rather long piece for her to tackle, not that Claire seemed to mind. She launched into her reading with terrifying confidence.

I must admit, that by verse four, my mind had begun to wander. It went straight to Katherine. I couldn't help it, for the last few weeks I had frequently found myself worrying about her.

I'd called Hal several times, but he had heard nothing from Leo. He didn't seem overly concerned, having an unshakable confidence that his brother was alive and well, and wouldn't let anything happen to Katherine. He promised that he would contact me if he heard anything. Hal's faith in Leo did calm my very worst fears, but I knew that until I spoke to them, I would still feel anxious. I just wanted to know that my friends were ok.

Jake glanced towards me. I must have been frowning, because he gave me a quizzical look. I squeezed his hand and sent him my thoughts of Katherine, and his expression became sympathetic. Jake knew that I'd been worried, he even felt a little responsible for the original mix-up.

When I'd first told him about the confusion with Leo's 'dead' girlfriend, Jake's reaction had surprised me.

"Oh…" He'd said guiltily.

My eyes narrowed with suspicion. "What do you mean '_oh_'?"

"Leo told me that Katherine was the last girl he fed from, but I thought he was lying."

"_What?_ When did he tell you that?"

Jake looked slightly shamefaced. "The day we found you in Alaska."

"Jacob Black, are you telling me that you've known the truth for all this time, and you didn't say _anything!_" I exclaimed.

"No…" he spluttered. "No, I'm not saying I _knew_. I'm saying that I thought he was making it up, and I didn't think it was important. I honestly didn't make the connection that Katherine was the girl Edward saw."

It was obvious that Jake was telling the truth, so I didn't press the matter any further. There was no point in making him feel bad for something that wasn't his fault – after all, I was the blab-mouthed idiot who had misinformed Katherine in the first place. Jake continued to feel slightly guilty, but he wasn't as concerned as I was. He seemed to share Hal's confidence in Leo. He was convinced that Leo would track Katherine down and help her, whether or not she wanted him to.

As Claire's lengthy reading, on the subject of sublime and everlasting love, drew to a close, I returned to the present. Glancing surreptitiously over my shoulder, I was relieved to see that I wasn't the only person whose attention had drifted; it was safe to say that only Quil appeared to be concentrating properly.

I noticed Laird and Jamie Hunter sneaking in at the back of the wedding. They were late, as usual, but this didn't stop them from grinning and winking at their friends. Sam spotted them too, and gave a small sigh. He exchanged glances with Emily, who rubbed his arm sympathetically. No doubt he was picturing the chaos they'd cause at the reception. The poor guy had probably hoped that the twins would forget to turn up altogether. But he wasn't going to get his day off.

Before we knew it, the register had been signed and ceremony was over. Seth led his lovely bride down the aisle, past the smiling guests, and everyone finally relaxed and got ready to enjoy themselves at the reception.

While the photographer took the formal wedding pictures, the guests sipped champagne and mingled. Jake and I chatted to Embry. He introduced us to his uncle and cousins, who had made the trip from the Makah reservation. His aunt had apparently disappeared amongst their female relatives, and they were waiting for her to return, though it was clear – by their resigned expressions – that they weren't expecting that to happen any time soon.

Embry's uncle turned out to be a mechanic and he instantly fell into easy conversation with Jake, while I got chatting with the kids. They were an attractive group, a good-natured fourteen year old called David, and his sixteen year old sisters, Marti and Alex, who were very friendly, very identical twins.

David was tall for his age, but his sisters were rather petite, with neat, pretty features, lively brown eyes and long black hair. Marti was dressed in blue and Alex was wearing red, which gave me an outside chance of telling them apart. All three of the siblings were very cheerful, joking and laughing. They seemed to be enjoying the wedding, and were pleased to have made the trip.

Marti glanced around the crowd. "It's good to see so many people our age here," she smiled approvingly, as a couple of the younger pack members strolled by.

David smirked. "She means that it's good to see so many _boys_."

"No, I didn't!" She protested, and promptly undermined her own statement by bursting into a fit of giggles.

Alex cut through. "I must admit it's a nice surprise, way better than Great-aunt Mary's funeral, which was our last family get-together. That was pretty boring, but this is kinda cool. Though I don't think that Dad would have brought us here today, if he'd known how many guys there would be." She gave a cheerful smile. "Luckily, by the time he realised, it was too late to leave. I'm sure he wanted to though…"

Marti nodded conspiratorially. "Oh yeah. I swear, he totally would have gone home, if Mom had let him." Her dark eyes narrowed as she added in a dramatic undertone. "He _hates_ boys."

"He hates men more," Alex interjected helpfully.

"I bet he'll ask Embry to keep them away from us. We _never_ have any fun." Marti sighed, and then frowned at David, who was grinning. "It's ok for you, Dave. Dad doesn't care what you do."

"Yeah, it's so unfair," her sister agreed. "Dad is so strict with us; I think he wants us to be single, like _forever_."

"Like the way he always collects us after cheerleading practice, it's so embarrassing."

"And do you remember what Dad did when Chas Murray offered to drive me home?"

The twins groaned simultaneously and their brother laughed. "Yeah, you're not the only ones who remember _that_. It's probably gone into the tribal histories. Our descendants will be telling that story for generations to come."

I glanced at their dad. An overprotective father was something I could relate to. He was a big guy – the kind who could probably intimidate the average date – but he looked like a nice person. To be honest, the poor man actually had my sympathy. Being the father of two such vivacious and attractive girls would be a headache for anyone.

Their mother finally reappeared. She was a very sweet and friendly woman, and I could see where the kids got their outgoing personalities. Unfortunately, before we had a proper chance to talk, Jake and I were called up for the wedding pictures. I said goodbye and promised to meet them all later on the dance floor.

After numerous pictures, and a lot more milling around, it was time to sit down and eat. Jake and I were on the head table, because he was the best man. The meal was amazing, with dozens of courses. Marie had predicted how much food a pack wedding would require, and made her plans accordingly.

Observing the guests, I could see that everyone was having a really nice time, and it finally occurred to me that I had always undervalued Marie. We hadn't got off to a very good start, because of my own stupid jealousy, and even after I'd realised that Jake wasn't romantically interested in her, my initial prejudice had remained. But, when I thought about the way that Marie had organised her wedding, I had to give her credit. She'd been so thoughtful, and made huge efforts to include everyone, far more than I would have in the same situation.

For the very first time, I realised that she really was the perfect wife for Seth. Apart from the fact that they loved one another, Marie was very good for the pack. She had an instinctive understanding of the guys' relationships, and she had forged strong friendships with the other imprints. A wife like that would be an asset to any wolf. I had no doubt that Marie would make Seth just as happy as he would make her.

After the meal, it was time for the speeches. Marie's uncle gave the first speech. Her father was dead, so he had been acting in _loco parentis_ all day, and he did a good job. He spoke glowingly of his niece and gave a detailed account of her achievements, stretching right back to her first grade finger paintings, and made it clear that Seth was extremely lucky – if slightly unworthy – to have won such a rare and precious jewel.

Some men might have felt daunted by this interpretation of their situation and character, but fortunately Seth seemed to wholeheartedly agree with Marie's uncle, and clearly thought that he was the luckiest and most unworthy guy on the planet. In fact, he mirrored the very same sentiment in his own speech.

I knew that Jake was anxious about his own speech, but he needn't have worried. The crowd was a friendly one, and the fact that many of them were already slightly drunk was a huge help. He even threw in a few veiled references to the fact that Seth was a part-time wolf, and those in-jokes which went down very well with the pack.

At the end of the speeches and toasts, Marie surprised everyone by standing up and demanding to say a few words. This was clearly unplanned, since Seth looked rather confused. She politely thanked everyone for coming to the wedding, before a wide smile broke across her face.

"There's just one last toast I think we all need to make. A little bird told me." At this point she glanced knowingly at Claire – who was a notorious gossip. "That there is something else the Clearwater family should be celebrating. I've just heard that Seth's sister, Leah, was also married this week… and that Seth is going to be an _uncle_."

At this point the crowd exploded with loud cheers and whistles. I glanced at Leah, who – for the first time ever – was bereft of a smart comeback. Instead, she was blushing furiously, and trying not to be seen. Greg was sitting beside Leah, with one arm resting on the back of her chair. He was smiling, and appeared to be completely untroubled by all the drama. He leaned over and squeezed her hand, at which point she glanced up and met his eye with a self-conscious smile.

Any hope that Leah could avoid further attention was quickly thwarted by her mother. When she first heard the announcement, Sue had looked absolutely stunned, but she quickly recovered from her shock. Leaping out of her seat, she flew to her daughter's side and pulled her into a fierce hug and sobbed tears of joy all over her shoulder.

"I'm so happy…" she wept. "Oh Leah, I'm so happy..."

And then she hugged Greg and thanked him, and hugged Leah again and cried some more. Leah looked pleased and slightly embarrassed, but most of all she seemed surprised. I didn't blame her. Sue was generally a no-nonsense, practical kind of woman, and this sudden outpouring of emotion was extremely uncharacteristic. Leah might never have escaped, if it hadn't been for Grandpa's timely intervention. He steered Sue away from her daughter and back to the top table.

When the furore finally died down, Marie made a toast. "Leah and Greg, I think I speak for everyone in wishing you a long and prosperous marriage. We hope that you and your family have all the happiness and good fortune which you so truly deserve." She raised her glass. "To Leah and Greg."

I thought that this was a very nice gesture; it seemed generous of Marie to share the attention, and congratulate Leah and Greg so thoughtfully, on her own big day. Everyone joined in the toast, at which point Sue started crying again. She then got up and hugged Marie and then hugged Seth.

Before his mother could get any more carried away, Seth managed to create a diversion by announcing that it was time to cut the cake.

After some cake-cutting and even more photography, Seth signalled the DJ to start the music. Marie had already removed her veil, and after she looped her silken train onto her wrist, Seth led her onto the dance floor for their first dance as husband and wife.

To be honest, they gave the most elegant first dance that I'd ever seen. I didn't include Uncle Emmett and Aunt Rose in the contest, because, technically speaking, they'd had too many weddings to have any more _true_ first dances. Seth and Marie looked beautiful together, both tall and graceful, and perfectly in time with the music.

Poor Sue, it seemed that she was making up for years of tearlessness by sniffing and dabbing her eyes throughout the dance, and repeatedly telling Grandpa Charlie how happy she was.

I didn't recognise the song that they had chosen, which made a pleasant change; I'd sat through 'Endless Love' and 'I Will Always Love You' a few too many times. I turned to Jake, who was quietly humming along.

"Do you know this song?"

He nodded. "Sure, it's by Buffy Sainte Marie."

"I've never heard it before… it's nice."

"My mom had a couple of her albums when I was a kid."

"Oh."

"I've still got them somewhere. I'll play them to you sometime."

"That would be nice."

When the song ended, a new one started and Jake took my hand and led me towards the dance floor. I followed enthusiastically. I loved dancing with Jacob, there was nothing quite like the feeling of being held in his arms as we moved to the music. We hadn't gone out together in ages, and I was really looking forward to spending some quality time on the dance floor. It seemed that we weren't the only ones with this idea; there was practically a stampede onto the floor.

Unfortunately for Jake and me, just as we reached the edge of the dance floor, our plan was thwarted. I felt a gentle hand on my arm. I glanced around to see Emily, looking apologetic.

"Nessie, I'm glad I caught you. I'm so sorry…"

"It's fine, what's wrong?"

She looked harassed. "Sue asked me to help, there are so many guests and the gifts are in chaos…"

"Do you need help tidying them up?"

"That would be great." She looked incredibly relieved. "Would you mind?"

"No, that's fine."

"Do you need me to help too?" Jake asked.

"No." Emily shook her head and smiled gratefully. "Just one person should be ok, thanks."

"Yeah." I kissed him. "You go get a drink and enjoy yourself. I'll find you later."

"Have fun."

"Remember, you owe me a dance." I gave him a pointed look, before following Emily out of the marquee.

Emily unlocked Seth's house, and I followed her into the living room. I could see why she needed some assistance. The place was filled with elaborately wrapped gifts, heaped into precarious piles. I could also understand why Emily had politely refused Jacob's help. The pack weren't always the most careful people in the world, and they were not who I would turn to, if I needed to move dozens of fragile packages.

We took a deep breath and set to work.

Among the boxes and parcels were the numerous gifts from my vampire family. They hadn't let a tiny thing like a delicately balancing treaty stop them from spending thousands of dollars on wedding presents for Seth and Marie.

My parents had always been especially fond of Seth and they had sent along a truly spectacular set of antique crystal glasses. These had arrived during the week, by the most _special_ of special deliveries I had ever seen. I wasn't entirely sure how useful this gift would actually be, but it didn't really matter. The main thing was that Marie was absolutely thrilled, and anything that made her happy, made Seth happy.

Emily and I spent well over an hour tidying the gifts, and by the time we were finished, they were all neatly stacked and sorted. We patted ourselves on the back, for a job well done, and gratefully returned to the party.

As we stepped outside, we discovered that the afternoon had turned into evening. One side of the marquee had been removed, allowing the guests to move freely inside and out. Most of them were still in the marquee, but a few people had already wandered outside to enjoy the mellow evening.

Fairy lights had been hidden in the garlands of flowers which encircled the grass and marquee, and they had now been lit. Everywhere I could see magical, twinkling lights. It was very romantic.

"Wow," said Emily, as she glanced around. "This looks beautiful."

I nodded enthusiastically. "I know, it's amazing."

We strolled into the marquee, looking for the guys. I couldn't see Sam, but I spotted Jacob with Quil and Claire on the other side of the party, near the bar. I headed towards him, squeezing my way along the edge of the dance floor, determined that I was going to get my dance.

Steve the apprentice and Jamie Hunter were standing beside the dance floor, and they greeted me as I passed.

"Hey, Nessie."

I stopped beside them. "Hi, guys."

Jamie looked me up and down with an appreciative smile. "You look nice."

Since the whole 'towel' incident, I'd had to live with the fact that all the wolves had seen a little more of me than I'd like.

"Thanks." I replied in with a hint of resignation. "So do you."

Just then we were interrupted by the arrival of Chris, another young wolf. He wore a troublemaking smirk. And sure enough, a second later, he leaned forward and said to Jamie.

"Hey Hunter, your brother just imprinted."

The effect of this announcement was immediate and powerful. Jamie's expression became thunderous. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Laird just imprinted on some girl."

"_Where is he?_" Jamie snarled.

Chris lost some of his confidence and began to look nervous. "They're outside."

Steve tried to grab him, but Jamie dodged out of his way and stormed across the dance floor before anyone could stop him.

"Dammit." Steve instantly pursued his friend, and so did Chris.

I chased after them, and as I pushed my way through the dance floor, I hastily glanced back at Jake. He was still by the bar and I fired him a message:

_Get outside now. Jamie Hunter looks like he's about to commit murder._

The tables and chairs outside were fairly empty, only a few people were milling around. The instant I stepped into the evening air, I spotted Jamie, charging across the grass towards his brother, closely followed by his friends. I ran across the grass and Jake rushed up behind me, along with Sam and Quil.

Laird Hunter was standing beneath one of the fairy-lit garlands of flowers, bordering the grass. He was holding the hands of a girl in a blue dress. I immediately recognised her to be Embry's cousin, Marti. Her shining eyes were lifted to his, and they both appeared to be completely oblivious to their surroundings. But not for long, within moments Jamie was upon them, fists clenched, ready for a fight. We were just in time to hear his first words.

"_You've got to be kidding me_," he burst out angrily, startling them both.

Sam cursed and quickly overtook me, and Steve and Chris caught up with Jamie a second later.

Laird turned to his brother; he seemed elated and completely unaware that anything was wrong.

"Jamie. There's someone I'd like you to meet." Laird stared adoringly at the girl beside him. "Jamie, this is…" He suddenly looked confused and shook his head. "I'm sorry; I don't know your name."

She regarded him with a rapt expression, her eyes never leaving his face. "Marti. My name's Marti."

"Marti." Laird repeated reverently. "That's so beautiful, just like…"

"Is this a goddamn joke?" Jamie's angry voice broke through their dreamy dialogue. "You don't even know her name and you're already whipped?"

This sharp statement popped Laird's and Marti's love bubble. They finally seemed to notice that they were surrounded by people.

Laird blinked in surprise. "Jay, what's wrong?"

"You have the nerve to ask me what's wrong, after you go and do _this._" His brother snapped furiously. "We swore we'd never imprint. _You_ swore. You swore to me you wouldn't."

Laird finally seemed to register this state of his brother's emotions. He stared at his twin with a pained expression.

"I'm sorry." He said, shaking his head. "Believe me, I never meant to let you down. But when I made that promise, I didn't understand… I didn't know how it would be. If you knew, you wouldn't be mad, you'd be happy for me."

"_Happy for you…?_" Jamie repeated in disgust. "You think I could ever feel _happy_ about this?"

The pack closed in on the brothers. Sam stepped forward, catching Jamie's arm and speaking in a calm undertone.

"Come on, you don't want to do this here. Why don't you go cool off? Take a run with one of the guys. You can talk to Laird later, when you've calmed down."

Jamie shook his head angrily. "No, we're settling this _now_."

"Please, Jamie," said his twin with a touch of desperation. "Don't be like this, man…"

His brother rounded on him. "Why are you doing this to me? You don't need her."

All the imprinted wolves took a sharp intake of breath at this declaration. Laird flinched and glanced down at the sweet-faced girl beside him.

"Yes, I… I…"

Marti's eyes travelled from one brother to the other. Up until that point, she'd been listening to them with a slightly bewildered expression, but she chose this moment to ask Laird.

"You have a twin…?"

Before Laird had a chance to reply, Jamie turned on her resentfully.

"Yes, he has a twin," he snarled. "Not that I'd expect _you_ to understand what that means, sweetheart."

Laird moved between Marti and his twin. "Stop it, Jay. Don't talk to her like that."

This show of protectiveness seemed to enrage Jamie more than anything else. The air positively crackled with aggression. Quil and Jake moved between the brothers, keeping them apart, as Jamie yelled at his twin.

"Don't lecture me, asshole. I'm not the one who's choosing some chick he met five minutes ago over his own brother."

Laird looked angry and upset, caught between his newfound loyalty for his imprint and his lifelong allegiance to his twin.

"It's not like that," he protested. "You know it isn't."

"Oh really?" Jamie's voice was laced with bitter betrayal. "Because the way I see it, you're just like Dad, dumping your family for the first piece of tail that comes along." He yanked himself away from Sam and took a step back. "Well, I hope she's worth it…!"

With those words, Jamie turned on his heel and headed towards the darkened forest.

"_Jamie!_" His brother was distraught and tried to follow him, but was blocked by Jake and Quil.

Jamie refused to look back. "Don't talk to me. _Traitor._"

Jake gripped Laird's shoulder. "Just give him some time," he said quietly. "He's just in shock. He'll come around."

But Laird still struggled, calling his brother's name, but there was no break in Jamie's long strides. As he approached the treeline, he stripped off his shirt and tie, and angrily tossed them aside. He kicked off his shoes and I didn't know if his pants would be next, or if he'd just tear through them by phasing.

I hoped he would at least wait until he was out of sight of the guests before changing form. The last thing that the wolves needed was to have their secret exposed by Jamie Hunter at Seth's wedding reception.

At that moment, I was distracted by the sound of approaching footsteps. I turned to see Alex, hurrying across the grass. She ignored the rest of us, speaking only to her sister.

"Marti, what on earth are you doing out here? I went to get our drinks and you just disappeared. I've been waiting for twenty minutes!"

Poor Marti looked understandably flustered. "Oh… I'm sorry. I don't know what happened… I just…"

Marti's explanation didn't get very far, because Alex's attention was suddenly diverted. She stopped short and her dark eyes narrowed as she stared towards the forest.

"Why is that guy walking around in his underwear?" She asked curiously. "Is he drunk?"

No one answered; we all looked towards Jamie, who had come to an abrupt halt in the gloom at the edge of the forest. His large body was tense, as he turned his head and glared over his shoulder. He had clearly heard her words. I held my breath, worried that Jamie was about to start insulting Alex too.

He slowly turned around, his eyes were hidden in shadows, but it was obvious that all his attention was focused on the new arrival. He stood completely still for a long moment, just watching her, and all of a sudden he began to walk towards us. Marti turned to Laird, asking in a nervous voice.

"What's he doing?"

He glanced at her quickly, with an unreadable expression. "Don't worry, it's ok."

She seemed to relax. I was interested to note that she already displayed complete faith in Laird's reassurances. The others didn't seem quite so convinced that everything was fine. They shifted uneasily as Jamie made his way back across the uneven ground. As he approached it became easier to see his face. His expression never changed, he didn't appear angry, but his whole concentration was fixed on Alex with frightening intensity.

It suddenly occurred to me that I had seen that look before, and I could tell, by the way the wolves were exchanging glances, that they had too. No wonder Laird had been so sure of Alex's safety.

Considering that Alex had no idea of what was going on, she watched Jamie's approach with a surprisingly calm demeanour. She actually appeared to be more curious than worried, and didn't try to retreat when Jamie drew near. No one stood in his path, and when he stopped a few feet away, she glanced over his muscular form with an expression of grudging admiration. Jamie didn't say anything, and it was left to Alex to break the silence. She spoke in a mildly apologetic tone.

"Just so you know; I wasn't criticising you for walking around in your underwear… or being drunk, for that matter. I guess no family wedding would be complete without some drunk, half-naked guy wandering around – except that it's usually my Uncle Vern – so don't be offended by what I said. And if it makes you feel any better, you look way better than he does. I mean," she added self-consciously. "You probably work out or something..."

After Alex trailed off, there was a long moment of silence. Jamie's eyes never left her face. She had his complete attention, but I'm not sure he was listening to her words; he was probably too overcome with his own feelings. Jamie finally shook himself out of his reverie. He stepped closer to Alex, towering over her.

"Who are you?" He asked, staring down in wonder.

Alex glanced around the group, looking slightly embarrassed. She was probably hoping for some support, but when no one offered any, she raised her large eyes to his and answered cautiously.

"Um… I'm Marie's cousin… Alex Youngblood." She shifted from foot to foot and gave him a nervous look. "Who are you?"

At this point Jamie Hunter stunned the whole company by dropping to his knees and wrapping his strong arms around her waist. Holding her tightly, he hid his face against her dress. His words were slightly muffled by the material.

"I'm yours."

"Oh…" Alex looked understandably taken aback, but she didn't try to pull away. Instead she threw a hopeless 'what do I do now' glance at her twin.

Marti appeared equally blank, and it was Laird who answered quietly. "Just talk to him…"

"Um, right… ok…" Alex nodded, but she didn't seem very convinced.

She then turned her attention to the young man who was still clinging to her with obvious determination, and her expression became more focused. Lifting her hand, she tentatively patted his head.

"Don't worry; I guess it's easy to drink too much. You'll sober up in a minute. Maybe if you let me go, you can walk it off…"

He shook his head and clung tighter. "No, I want to be with you."

"Err…" She seemed surprised, but continued to stroke his dark hair, saying kindly. "Ok… I guess we can stay here for a minute…"

Everyone's eyes remained locked on the couple. It was almost impossible to tear our gazes away from the startling sight of Jamie Hunter and his unsuspecting imprint.

Sam was the first to break out of his daze. He glanced around the group with a sudden smile. "Well… that settles that."

His matter-of-fact tone brought us out of our stupors, and we blinked and exchanged rueful looks. His next comment was aimed at everyone who'd run outside to restrain Jamie.

"I guess we should be heading back to the party."

The others smiled and nodded. "Sure."

We slowly turned away from the twin couples.

"I need a drink," said Quil.

"Great idea."

Alex suddenly spoke up. "Wait!" She protested. "You can't just leave me. What about this guy? How am I supposed to get him off me?"

Sam looked casually over his shoulder in Laird Hunter's direction. "You can take it from here, right?"

Laird stared at his brother, nodding uncertainly. "Um… I guess…"

"Good." Sam replied breezily. Giving Laird no further chance to speak, he strolled away without a second glance.

Naturally, the shock double imprint was all we could talk about as we headed back to the marquee. Steve and Chris paired off in conversation, while Quil, Jake, Sam and I walked together.

Jake shook his head. "Wow, the twins imprinted on twins, what were the odds?"

"Yeah," agreed Quil with a laugh. "I can't believe it. Do you realise that some poor shmuck is gonna have _both_ the Hunter twins dating his daughters."

Jake suddenly frowned. "Oh…"

"_Oh_, what?"

"That 'shmuck' is Embry's uncle."

"Geez, are you serious? Embry will freak when he hears." Quil gave a hopeful smile. "_Please_ let me be the one to tell him."

"Rather you than me." Jake smiled in spite of himself. "But I don't think he's got too much to worry about. I met his uncle and I got the feeling that guy knows how to look after his daughters." His smile turned into a grin. "To be honest, I think that Jamie and Laird are the ones who should be worried."

"Cool."

Quil looked completely unconcerned for the fate of the Hunter twins at the hands of their imprints' father. Sam walked silently in front of us, playing no part in the conversation.

Jake called out to him. "Hey Sam, are you ok?"

Sam turned to answer. He was positively beaming. "This is the happiest day of my life." He sounded slightly dazed, as if he could hardly believe his luck. "Both the twins imprinted. _Both_ of them…" he repeated in an awed tone.

"Well, I guess they did," Jake smiled understandingly. "That's good for you."

"You have no idea." Sam could hardly contain himself. I had never seen him look so happy. "I haven't had a week off since they first phased. Maybe now they'll finally settle down. And best of all, neither of them imprinted on Jennifer. It looks like all my praying paid off."

Quil raised his eyebrows. "You prayed about it?"

Sam was too happy to be defensive. "Trust me; I needed all the help I could get."

When I thought about all the stunts that the twins had pulled, I had to agree with him. Jake was obviously thinking the same thing, because he nodded.

"I hear you."

Just as we reached the marquee, Emily came outside, looking concerned. She hurried towards Sam.

"I saw you leave. Is everything ok?"

Before she knew it, he had lifted her off her feet.

"_Sam!_" Emily gasped in surprise, clinging to his shoulders as he spun her around.

He held her tightly and planted an enthusiastic kiss on her mouth. "This is a great day. It finally happened."

"What finally happened?"

"They imprinted."

The fact that Emily didn't bother to ask who 'they' were made it clear that she and Sam had _both_ been praying for this day. Her eyes flew wide and she whispered in disbelief.

"Are you serious?"

He kissed her again. "Absolutely."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and squeezed him back. "Oh my God. I just can't believe it."

The depth of Emily's relief showed exactly how much strain the brothers had imposed on Sam and his family. He gently put her on her feet and took her face in his hands. Staring tenderly into her eyes, he added with more seriousness.

"It's time we started making plans."

Emily nodded and tears sprung to her eyes. "That sounds wonderful..."

I turned away, suddenly feeling like I was intruding on their private moment, and Quil, Jake and I went into the marquee, leaving the Uleys to celebrate outside. As Quil hurried off to find Claire, I took Jacob's hand and led him onto the dance floor.

"Now, how about that dance?"

Jake's arm circled my waist and he pulled me close, murmuring in my ear. "You know, I thought you'd never ask."

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Goodness me, this has rolled around quickly. As usual I was doing some very last minute editing today (the more time you have to work on a chapter, the less likely it is to be done on time!)**

**Thanks to all the recent reviewers (including the guest and Olivia, sorry I couldn't PM) and to the people who added this story to their lists. I always feel really grateful for the positive feedback, so thank you :)**

**I'll post again in two weeks, have a lovely fortnight,**

**Mad :)**


	71. Nessie, Emily's request

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

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><p><strong>An extra big thank you to willowbae, who went beyond the call of duty this week with some very last minute beta-ing :)<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 71.<strong>

**Nessie - Emily's request**

By some miracle, Jake and I managed to have several dances, before his attention was claimed by an irate Embry. We caught sight of him, standing by the dance floor, looking grim. He so clearly wanted to speak to Jacob that it was impossible to ignore him. Jake met my eyes and I nodded, and he reluctantly led me off the dance floor, towards his disgruntled friend.

When we reached Embry, I kissed Jake on the cheek. "I'm going to get a drink."

"Sure, honey." He released my hand regretfully. "I'll catch you later."

I smiled at Embry as I passed. He nodded absently, and the second I was gone, I heard him hiss. "Do you know what Quil just told me?"

"Yeah, I was there." Jacob replied steadily.

"I know I've defended the Hunters in the past," exclaimed Embry. "But I swear it, this time they've gone too far…"

I quickly hurried away. I had no desire to be drawn into their conversation, and I felt confident that Jake could calm his friend with no assistance from me. The last thing I heard was Embry vowing darkly, that he would personally see to it that neither brother gained admittance to his uncle's house – ever!

I glanced around the marquee to see where his uncle actually was. I spotted him beside his wife. They were both sitting at one of corner tables, chatting with other family members, blissfully unaware of the fact that their daughters were now irrevocably bonded to a supernatural pack of shapeshifting wolves. Their son, David, was nearby on the dance floor with his cousins.

Across the room, Laird's and Jamie's mother was standing with some friends. Everyone knew that she tried her best, but as the single mother of two teenage tearaways, things weren't always easy for her. I had the feeling that her life was about to radically improve.

I noticed that Sam and Emily had returned to the marquee, they were on the dance floor, near Seth and Marie. I smiled when I saw them. At that particular moment, it would have been difficult to say which couple looked more radiantly happy.

I wandered to the open side of the marquee and peered outside. Staring across the grass, I caught sight of both sets of twins. Their earlier dispute appeared to have been completely forgotten. Jamie was now fully dressed, and all four of them were all sitting around a table beneath the flowers, leaning in, deeply engrossed in conversation, as if they didn't have a care in the world – which, at that moment, they probably didn't!

Just as I turned away, I caught sight of a lonely figure sitting on the veranda of the house. Jennifer Uley was perched on the swing seat, half-hidden in the shadows. I went over to see if she was alright. She glanced up as I approached.

I climbed the veranda steps. "Hey, Jennifer."

"Hi, Nessie." She gave a wan smile.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm ok," she said, sounding just the opposite.

"Do you mind if I sit down?"

Jennifer moved to make room for me and I sat down on the swing seat. The veranda was very peaceful, and from our vantage point we had a good view of the party.

"This is a nice place," I said mildly. She didn't answer and I probed a little further. "Are you enjoying the wedding?"

She gave a small shrug. "I guess…"

"I love your outfit. Especially your hair, it's so pretty. Who did it for you?"

"My mom did my hair."

I knew that Emily was artistic and so it was no surprise to learn that such an aesthetic style was down to her. Jennifer's hair had been twisted away from her face and delicately entwined with roses. She made a very lovely picture as she sat beside me. I thought of the bridesmaids', when they first appeared at the ceremony.

"You girls all looked wonderful when you arrived..."

Jennifer leaned forward and rested her chin on her hands, and gave a small, unhappy sigh. Seeing her miserable expression, my heart went out to her.

"Is everything ok?"

She shook her head, saying quietly. "You wouldn't understand…"

"Try me." I pressed gently.

"It's different for you, Nessie, you're so beautiful. You don't know what it's like. I wish I was pretty, like you." Jennifer raised her soft eyes to my face. "Not stupid and ugly…" She bit her lip and turned away.

"Who on earth said that?" I demanded in outrage.

"No one said it," she admitted. "But, I know it's what they think."

"Who? Who thinks that?" I asked, although I had a pretty fair idea of who was in her mind.

I had spotted Jared Jr and Naomi Lahote together on the dance floor, slyly avoiding their fathers. And if Jennifer was still nursing her crush, then it would certainly explain her glum expression.

She confirmed my suspicions by muttering. "Jared Jr."

I put my arm around her slender shoulders and leaned in, whispering conspiratorially. "You have to promise not to tell anyone I said this… but I think he's an idiot."

Jennifer's eyes shot up in surprise. "What?"

"Come on, Jennifer." I smiled. "Think about it."

She shook her head doubtfully, probably having difficulty imaging her dream boy in this new, less-than-flattering, light.

"But he's so cute… and he's really funny."

I had witnessed Jared Jr, showing off with his friends, and he could hardly boast a rapier wit. Only a thirteen year old – such as Jennifer – could be remotely impressed. I gave her a sideways glance.

"Hmmm… If you say so. But to be honest, you're _way_ cleverer than he is."

"No, I'm not." Jennifer shook her head fiercely.

"Yes, you are. And you know what? You're not vain either."

"But he's really good-looking," she protested.

"Jennifer." I frowned for emphasis. "You were the most beautiful girl at the wedding."

"No, I wasn't. Naomi looked much nicer than me, everyone thought so."

"Is that right? So why did Marie want you to walk down the aisle _first_?" I demanded ruthlessly. "It was because you looked so pretty. You were the prettiest bridesmaid there. In fact, you were the prettiest bridesmaid I've ever seen anywhere."

"You're just saying that to be nice." She blushed.

"No, I'm not. Just because you're not a show-off, it doesn't mean you're not beautiful. Because you are," I said decidedly. "And, although it's really not his fault, because he was born that way, Jared Jr is too dumb to see it. Though…" I added speculatively. "That's probably a good thing, because I'd hate to see you wasting your time with a dope like him."

"Oh…"

My bluntness left Jennifer looking rather taken-aback, but at least the miserable expression had entirely vanished.

"Do you really think so…?"

"Of course I do. And I don't think you should spend another minute moping about him. He's not worth the effort." I stood up and held out my hand. "Now, let's get back to the party."

A smile suddenly appeared. "Ok… fine."

"Now that's more like it."

I pulled her to her feet and we walked down the wooden steps, arm in arm. The heaviness had lifted from Jennifer and her footsteps sounded light beside me.

"I love this song," she exclaimed, as a new track started playing.

"Me too."

"Me and my best friend, Kelly, worked out a routine to it."

I knew that she liked dancing and took my opportunity to get her onto the dance floor. "Will you teach me?"

Jennifer looked shy for a second. "Um… ok. But I haven't practiced it enough yet."

I glanced around the marquee as we entered, looking for Jared Jr and Naomi. I wanted to keep Jennifer as far away from them as possible. As I scanned the room, I had a sudden brainwave.

"Let's go over there, into that corner." I said, steering her across the dance floor. "We'll have more room."

Within seconds, I had strategically placed us beside Embry's fourteen year old cousin, David Youngblood. He instantly greeted me in a very friendly way and before you could blink, I had introduced Jennifer to David and his other teenaged cousins. I was pleased to see that they were all good-natured enough to be sociable.

I spent the next twenty minutes with them and by the time I abandoned the dance floor, in search of Jacob, Jennifer had been smoothly integrated into their group. I left her dancing with her new friends and wound my way through the party.

It took me a few minutes to find Jake. I tracked him down on Seth's driveway. He and a couple of the pack had taken it upon themselves to decorate the wedding car with the traditional signs, toilet paper and traffic cones. They looked pretty pleased with themselves as they showed me the chaos that they had unleashed on Seth's car.

"Nice work boys." Leah sounded amused, as she stepped through the front door of the house and surveyed their handiwork.

Greg followed behind her, carrying two suitcases, which belonged to Seth and Marie. He placed in the trunk of the car, and grinned. "Well, they're all set. I guess someone should tell them it's time to leave if they want to arrive before midnight."

Quil leapt into action. "I'll get them!"

The next fifteen minutes were abuzz with activity, as Seth and Marie departed for their honeymoon. They were driving to Seattle that night, to stay in a five star hotel, and flying out to Hawaii in the morning.

Everyone crowded onto the driveway to wish the happy couple goodbye. It was fairly chaotic, with hugs, kisses and tears. Large amounts of confetti and rice were thrown, and when the rice ran out, the empty boxes followed – mainly in Seth's direction. Quil skilfully managed to hit him in the head with a box of Uncle Ben's. And when they finally drove away, they were trailed by multiple beer cans, five traffic cones and an old bucket, all of which were tied to the back of the car.

Once Seth and Marie had departed, the party finally wound down, and the guests slowly gathered their families together and said their goodbyes. Charlie and Leah returned to Forks that night, but Greg and Sue stayed at the reservation to help us clear up.

The marquee needed to be taken down, ready to be collected in the morning. The tables and chairs had to be stacked, and the linen and tableware sorted, ready to go too. The remaining food and flowers also needed to be brought inside.

We changed out of our wedding clothes and handed out jobs. Emily's kids settled themselves in the living room, waiting for their parents, while we got working. All three of them looked exhausted, and it was no surprise that within five minutes little Ben had fallen asleep on the sofa.

Unsurprisingly, Jake, Sam and Greg were left with the heavy lifting, while Sue and one of her friends took charge of the food. Emily and I had to sort out the flowers, which involved balancing precariously on a ladder without falling, or accidentally dropping the heavy bouquets of roses on the ground.

The women were finished well before the guys. They told us that they'd probably be working for a few more hours. Sue was staying at the Clearwater house that night, but Emily needed to get her children home, and so I helped her herd them into the car. Jennifer and Jonathan woke up just enough to stumble into the car by themselves, but Ben was out for the count and needed to be carried.

I went with them to their house. Emily offered to drive me home first, but I said that I'd be happy to help get the kids into the house and ready for bed, and walk back to Jake's from there. Walking home alone didn't bother me, and I still felt surprisingly alert.

It was well past midnight when we arrived at Emily's house. After we got inside and hustled the kids to bed, Emily asked me if I wanted a drink and I gratefully accepted. And a few minutes later I found myself sitting in her cosy kitchen, beside a plate of cookies and a cup of steaming hot chocolate.

"Just help yourself," said Emily, indicating to the cookies, as she sat down beside me.

"Thanks." I smiled, eagerly taking a cookie. I took a bite and groaned. "These are _so_ good… How do you do it?"

She smiled modestly. "Thanks, but I just followed the recipe."

"Where did you get the cook book? Heaven's gift shop?"

Emily laughed and offered me another. "Well," she admitted. "I have had plenty of practice. Do you know how many cookies one wolf can eat?"

We sat comfortably, sipping our hot chocolate and listening to the sounds of the night forest, which drifted into the house. After cookie number two, we started discussing the day's events. Emily was very relieved that Jennifer had been so cheerful by the end of the reception. She shook her head in wonder.

"You have no idea how she's been these last few weeks, Nessie. _Everything_ has been a life or death melodrama." Emily smiled ruefully. "Poor Sam, he has no idea what to make of it. He's a typical guy, he does his best, but when it comes to keeping up with Jennifer's mood swings he's completely clueless. I was really worried about the wedding. Poor Jennifer had already got herself so stressed about not being pretty enough."

"That's ridiculous," I protested. "Jennifer is beautiful. And it's not just on the outside, because she's a lovely person too."

"Thanks. That's what every parent wants to hear," she admitted sheepishly. "Of course, Sam and I think Jennifer is the most wonderful girl in the world. But she's hardly going to take our word for it. She's had a futile crush on Jared Jr for _months_ and it's clearly going nowhere. Though I can only be relieved about _that_. But I hate to see her miserable, and she has been. I must admit, I could really see a disaster looming today.

"But she met some really friendly kids at the wedding; I saw her dancing with them this evening. After they left she told me all about them. They've exchanged email addresses. There was some nice boy called David, who I actually met, Jennifer couldn't stop talking about him. Anyway, if any of these kids take her mind off Jared Jr then I'll be grateful."

I nodded. "I can imagine."

"You know, it's hard to watch your kids going through the same things you did when you were that age, and know that you can't do very much to help them."

"But Jennifer is lucky. You might not be able to stop her from being hurt, but you're the kind of mother who'll be there to pick up the pieces when it happens."

"Thanks, Nessie. That's nice of you to say."

"It's the truth."

"Anyway, I must admit, it was great to see Jennifer looking so happy tonight."

I took a sip of hot chocolate and smiled. "She wasn't the only one. I don't think I've ever seen Sam look so ecstatic as when the twins imprinted."

Emily actually laughed at this. "Tell me about it."

"It's been a good day for your family."

"Yes…" she nodded reflectively. "Yes, it really has."

We sat in a relaxed silence for a few minutes, just mulling over everything that had happened, until Emily lifted her eyes to my face. She looked a little nervous.

I tilted my head. "Is something wrong?"

"There's something I wanted to talk to you about..."

"Sure," I replied cautiously. "What's on your mind?"

"You know, I wasn't sure I'd ever need to have this conversation. This year has been such a strain. Well, that's an understatement." Emily shook her head and gave a short laugh. "Sometimes I felt like things were _never_ going to change… but now, suddenly, everything is different."

I thought of Laird and Jamie, and nodded understandingly. "I'm glad."

"Sam and I can actually make plans again. You know, he'd wanted to stop phasing this year, but after the new boys joined the pack, that idea went right out of the window."

"That must have been hard… on both of you."

"Sam didn't complain, but I know how disappointed he was. Let's face it, we both were."

I mulled over their new situation. "But the new guys seem to have settled and the twins have imprinted. I'm sure that will make a huge difference. Maybe he can finally do what he wants, and stop phasing."

Emily's dark eyes became serious and she put down her cup. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about, Nessie. Maybe I shouldn't say anything, but this is important, and I feel I must – if not for myself, then for my husband and the pack."

"Um… ok." I shifted nervously, bracing myself. "Go ahead."

Her next words surprised me. "I know that you've been claiming to be older than you are for years, which is understandable. But your _real_ eighteenth birthday will be next month, right?"

"Yes, that's right."

"I'm sorry, Nessie." Emily's voice was apologetic. "I'm not trying to pry, but I was under the impression that Jake probably wouldn't want to live together, or get married until you were genuinely eighteen."

Things had been going really well between us, and I stayed at his house most weekends, but Jacob had made no mention of living together, or getting married, for months. Not since before my betrayal and our disastrous trip to Denali.

The cookie that I was nibbling immediately lost its taste, and I felt a sudden, unexpected wave of insecurity. I lowered my eyes, trying to hide my feelings.

"Jake used to say that he didn't want to get married or anything, before I was eighteen… but he hasn't spoken of those things since we got back from Alaska..."

Emily seemed to understand my state of mind and she reached for my hand. "I can promise you, he will have thought of them, even if he hasn't mentioned them to you, Nessie. He loves you more than anything."

I shrugged and tried to shake off my foolish uncertainty. "I guess."

Her voice became more purposeful. "Jake will want to make things official with you soon, I know he will, and that's why I wanted to speak to you before he does. Sam would very much like to retire from his pack, but it's not realistic to leave them without an alpha. He doesn't want to put the responsibility onto one of the older guys. None of them want to go on phasing for much longer either; they have their own lives to live.

"The most natural solution would be for Jake to take over both packs. He is perfectly suited for that role. He was born to it. And unlike the others, he doesn't actually want to age. He'll want to stay young for as long as you do." Emily paused, and I could feel that we had come to the crux of the matter.

"Yes, I suppose he will…" I nodded, waiting for the punch line.

"I don't know how to ask this, but I feel I'm out of options…"

"It's ok… just say it."

She took a deep breath. "Please don't be upset." A pleading note entered her voice. "But I was going to ask you if you wouldn't take Jake away from us, Nessie. We need him. Sam and I, the pack, all of us need him. _Please_, don't take him away."

It took a second for her words to register. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. She wanted me to leave Jacob behind. For the good of the pack, for the good of her family, Emily wanted me to let Jacob go. In spite of all she knew of the imprint bond, she was prepared to ask that of me.

I sat in stunned silence, trying to gather my thoughts. This turned out to be more difficult than usual, because the sudden, gripping pain in my chest was hard to ignore. This pain was caused by the knowledge that I really didn't belong.

I had always felt like an outsider, but it was agonising to have it exposed so starkly. There was just no escaping the fact that Emily would _never_ have asked a human girl to give up her wolf. She would have presumed that it was both cruel and unrealistic to suggest such a thing.

Ironically, I could tell that she wasn't trying to be unkind to me now. It was possible that Emily honestly believed that half-breeds didn't have proper feelings. Maybe she thought that relinquishing my relationship with Jake would be no problem. Or perhaps the interests of the pack overrode our bond in her eyes. But what about Jake? Did Emily think that he could just let me go? Did she think that he couldn't feel for a hybrid what the other guys felt for their human imprints?

There might have been some spurious basis to her logic, but it still hurt to think that this was how Emily really viewed me. I felt as if I had been completely wrong in my estimation of our friendship. More than any of the other imprints, Emily had always treated me like I was no different. She had always made me feel as if I was welcome, but maybe that had been wishful thinking on my part.

But there was one thing Emily hadn't taken into account, which was that however sub-standard I might be as an imprint, Jake couldn't let me go. It wouldn't matter what I said, or what I did. He would never release me, and it was futile to even ask him to. The bottom line was that if I didn't belong on the reservation, he would leave it too.

I hardly knew how to respond to her request. There was no way she would welcome the truth. My throat tightened and I was ashamed to discover that my eyes were prickling with tears. I tried to reply.

"I… I can't…"

Emily interrupted me, continuing gently. "I can understand why you'd want to leave as soon as you got the chance. With a family like yours you must have so many opportunities to do interesting things, and live anywhere you want to. And let's face it; La Push is hardly the most exciting place on earth. I imagine that once you and Jake are married, you'll probably want to get far away from us and all the stress of living with the pack. And I know that, whatever else happens, one day you'll be forced to go, because you're not aging.

"But that won't be for a while…" she added persuasively. "And I was hoping that you could find it in your heart to stay here until then. We all know that Jake will go wherever you do, he needs you so much. There is no way he could stay here without you in the long term. I know you might not want to. I can't imagine that living on the reservation is your dream, but we'd be so happy if you could. It's not just about Jake, we all love you too, Nessie. We would be so happy if you could stay here as well."

I had the curious feeling that the world was shifting beneath my feet. Could I have heard her right?

Emily was asking me to stay? The pack actually wanted me?

By the look on her face, she was, and they did.

Never in my wildest imaginings would I have dreamed of hearing those words. Feelings of joy and relief welled up inside me, lightening the weight in my heart, and the tears, which had been swimming in my eyes, finally spilled down my cheeks. I brushed them away with shaking fingers, hardly knowing what to say.

Emily misunderstood the reason for these tears.

"Oh Nessie," she exclaimed remorsefully. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. You've probably got a ton of plans for the future, and here am I, ruining them all and pressuring you to stay. I should never have said anything. I had no right to interfere. Please, don't cry. I'll never mention it again, I promise."

"No, no..." I shook my head. "I'm not upset. Please, don't think that."

She eyed me doubtfully. "Are you sure…? I mean, you look upset to me…"

I pulled myself together. "Truly, I'm fine. I wasn't expecting you to ask me that." Seeing her unconvinced expression, I added. "I'm really touched that you want me here. That's all. I'm pleased and I cry when I'm happy."

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

"That's good." Emily gave a relieved smile and then added more seriously. "Anyway, now you know how we feel. Of course, you don't have to decide anything yet, but if you could just think about it, I'd be grateful. We all would."

"Yes, if things change with Jake… if they become a little more serious, then I promise that I will talk to him about everything, ok?"

"Thank you, Nessie." Emily gave my hand a grateful squeeze. "That would mean a lot."

I took a deep breath. "Don't mention it. I'm glad you asked."

Not long after, I left Emily's and made my way back to Jacob's house. The road stretched ahead of me, still visible through the heavy cloak of darkness. I could have made the run in minutes, but I was happy to take my time. The night air smelled of pine and cooled my skin, and I ambled along the road, enjoying the pleasant atmosphere while my thoughts wandered.

In my mind, new avenues were opening before me. Scenarios that I had never considered, that I would have dismissed as hopeless fantasy, seemed plausible for the very first time.

Jake and I could have a life together on the reservation. Ok, Emily was right when she said that we would have to move away some day. After all, we were not aging, so it would be unrealistic to remain in La Push forever, but it made a huge difference to know that we would be welcome for as long as we wanted to stay. To be honest, it made all the difference in the world.

I was deeply touched by Emily's assurances, but more than that, I was incredibly relieved to know that Jacob would not be pressured to remove himself from La Push and his wolf brothers. I had expected that Jake would be forced to leave the reservation for me, seeing it as a necessary, but very unfortunate, evil. The thought that he had received a reprieve, lifted a heavy burden of guilt from my shoulders and lightened my footsteps the whole way back to his house.

The place was still empty when I arrived back. I assumed that Jake and the others were still working. I walked through the quiet house, and felt like I'd been away for a week, not just a day, because so much had happened since stepping out that morning. My exhaustion finally caught up with me and I took a quick shower and collapsed into bed, falling asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow.

I was woken some time later by the sound of Jacob arriving home. The bedroom was still dark, the only light shone from the crack under the door. Glancing at the clock, I saw that it was just past three in the morning.

I heard Jake go into the bathroom and turn on the shower. I must have dozed off, because the next thing I knew, the bed was dipping as Jake crawled in beside me. As he lay down in the darkness, I glanced over my shoulder and muttered sleepily.

"Hey."

Jake rolled to face me, whispering. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"No, it's ok. Did you finish clearing up?"

"Uh huh."

He nodded drowsily and his head dropped back against the pillow. He looked beat. I lay down my head and Jacob curled behind me, wrapping a warm arm around my waist, and pulling me close.

"You must be tired." I said, snuggling back against his warm chest.

But Jake didn't manage more than a mumble. He was already half asleep. I tried not to disturb him and within minutes his breathing had slowed and become regular, as his sleep deepened.

I didn't fall back to sleep immediately. Instead, I lay awake for some time, just silently staring into the darkness. I tracked the dim, night shadows glancing across the curtains, and listened to the soft movements in the woods beyond the house.

I knew what dangers lurked outside the borders of the reservation, I had experienced them first-hand, but at that moment I only felt safe and secure. The weight of Jacob's arm reassured me, as did the press of his body against mine. And as I rested in his strong hold, I finally allowed myself to dream freely.

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed last time (including the guest) I was very grateful for your great comments, and also thanks for the list additions, they're really nice to receive, especially at this late stage in the story.**

**Just a quick note, I have been unusually busy for the last few weeks, and I honestly don't think that chapter 72 is going to be in a remotely readable state in two weeks' time. **

**I hate to do this, but I hate making promises that I don't keep more, so instead of my usual fortnightly posting, I'm not going to post it until Saturday 28th September (4 weeks' time). If, by some miracle, I manage to get it sorted before then, I will put it up, but I think that's unlikely. **

**Sorry for the wait, and thank you for your patience. **

**See you again in 4 weeks, t****hanks for reading, Mad :)**


	72. Leo, first impressions

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

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><p><strong>A really huge thank you to willowbae, who (yet again) went above and beyond the call of beta-ing duty this week. You're the best! :)<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 72.<strong>

**Leo – first impressions**

"What are you thinking about?"

Katherine and I were sitting on the hill, overlooking the shelter and the sea. The sun was shining and a fresh breeze blew in from the shore. I sat directly behind her, with one leg on either side of her hips, and my arms wrapped around her waist, as she leaned back against me. She hadn't said much since we'd sat down. Kathy turned her head to answer, and her soft hair tickled my chin. Her expression was speculative.

"I was thinking that this has been a nice week."

Kathy's understatement made me grin. "I can't speak for you, but this has been the best week of my whole damn life. In fact," I added, leaning in and nuzzling her throat. "I'd like to know if there's anyone who's ever had a better one."

Kathy lifted a hand to my cheek. "I wish I could be more like you, Leo."

"_Huh?_"

I must have looked pretty blank, because she gave a sudden laugh. "I mean, you're much better at saying what you think than I am."

"I never noticed you having much trouble speaking your mind."

I grimaced, remembering some of the blunt opinions that she had expressed over the years. Namely on the subject of what a total jerk I was. My thoughts must have been written all over my face, because Katherine smiled guiltily and tried to explain herself.

"I don't mean speaking my mind like _that_. I mean, I find it hard to tell you how I feel. I can't say things the way that you do."

"That doesn't matter. I'm just glad that I'm allowed to say them." I held her a little tighter. "You don't have to say or do anything different, beautiful. I love you just the way you are. That's enough for me."

"You don't understand," she protested, craning her head around to look me in the eye. "I find it hard to let my barriers down, but I want to. I _want_ to say the words the way you do. I just wish that I didn't always find it so difficult."

I frowned, as she rested her head back against my shoulder. "Maybe it's not so surprising that you find it tougher than I do. I know I didn't tell you how I felt before, but those feelings were still there. I feel like I've loved you forever, but I guess this is all pretty new to you. It's bound to take some readjustment. That kind of thing doesn't happen overnight, especially for our kind."

At these words, Katherine shot bolt upright and turned to face me. She sat back on her heels, her expression was incredulous.

"Is that what you really think…?" She gaped; her yellow eyes wide. "That I only just fell in love with you? That this whole thing is _new_ for me?"

I suddenly realised that I had no idea of how long Kathy had returned my feelings. In our week together we hadn't really spoken about the past. All our energy had gone into making the very best of the present. And maybe our future together seemed so fragile and precious, that neither of us wanted to jinx it by dredging up fifty years of misunderstanding and separation. It was all too new to completely trust that fate wasn't just screwing with us.

I replied cautiously. I had the feeling, that whatever I said, it would somehow be the wrong thing. "Well… isn't it?"

"I don't believe it..." Kathy shook her head in bewilderment; loose waves tumbled over her brow.

"I'm sorry." I backtracked. "I didn't mean to upset you."

Katherine edged forward, kneeling in front of me, so that we were eye to eye. "No, Leo. You have no need to apologise. It's me. This is exactly what I'm talking about. I can't believe that I've given you so little insight into my feelings." She stared down at her hands, looking ashamed. "_I'm_ sorry. I truly am. I've taken you for granted and I never realised it. You've accepted everything on trust. You haven't questioned me once."

I reached out, taking her hands in mine, tugging her forward, so that she ended up straddling my lap. Slipping my arms around her waist, I pulled her close. I lowered my head and looked her in the eye.

"You don't have to explain anything to me, Kathy. I never asked for that."

"You shouldn't have to ask. There should be no need. I should have already told you."

Her hands gently glided up my chest and curled around my shoulders. Her golden gaze remained locked on mine.

"Do you remember the first time we saw each other?"

"You know I do." I answered seriously.

Even if that moment had held no meaning for me, my perfect recall would have assured the fact, but as it was, that day was branded into my very soul.

I had noticed Kathy's scent before I even saw her. I was in San Francisco and there was an anti-war demonstration going on. I was bored and a little hungry, and I went there, scouting for my next meal. I wasn't looking for anything special; I had no idea what fate had in store for me.

As I wound my way through the crowd of protesters, I breathed in and inhaled a wholly unexpected scent, a blast of fresh sea air, smack in the middle of the city. I've heard that nothing is as evocative as smell, and it was certainly true for me, because at that moment, I was no longer a vampire. I was human again. I was a naval gunner's mate, standing on deck, gazing across the ocean.

And so it was true, that right from the very first moment, the very first breath, Kathy reached out and touched my long forgotten humanity.

When I came to my senses and remembered where I was, I started searching the crowd, looking for the source of that incredible perfume. And it was then that I first laid eyes on my destiny.

Kathy was standing a short distance away, tall and intent, listening to one of the speakers. She was surrounded by a bustling crowd, but there was no doubt in my mind that she was the one who scented of the sea. It didn't matter that she was wearing human clothes, jeans and a white cotton top; this beautiful girl looked like a mermaid who had inexplicably been born with two legs instead of a tail.

Kathy didn't notice me, so I had a chance to observe her undisturbed, and I had to admit that I appreciated the view. She looked like a student, about twenty, with a superb figure, slender and athletic. Strong – I realised with surprise – she looked really strong. So maybe she was more of an amazon, than a mermaid. Her silky skin was tanned and she had the most amazing hair, falling loose around her shoulders and down her back in glorious waves of honey blonde and gold. Her features were good, straight and really pretty, set in a perfect oval face. Her dark eyebrows framed a pair of luminous eyes, clear blue flecked with aqua green.

By any standards this was the kind of girl who would stand out in a crowd, but interestingly, although her beauty had caught my attention, it was her expression that held it. She was listening to the speaker with such stern intensity that I couldn't look away. I felt a sudden flash of desire and my throat began to burn. It would be something to hunt a fierce girl like this.

All the while, the speaker was talking and her eyes were locked on him, making her blind to her surroundings. He was just a young guy, recounting his experiences in Vietnam. I didn't know it at the time, but Kathy's brother had been killed in action a few months earlier. As she listened to his words, her expression subtly altered, her eyes filled with tears, turning them a clear, transparent green. I could smell the salt water as she hastily brushed her damp cheeks with her fingers.

In the thirty years since my transformation, I'd felt no interest in human problems, but as I watched Kathy, I actually felt curious. I didn't know why she was crying, but I was surprised to discover that I wanted to. I really wanted to know what could bring this amazon to tears.

Before I could question my feelings, I was distracted by the lanky guy who was standing beside her. I hadn't noticed him before, I was too busy watching the beauty, but he had spotted me. He gave her a covert nudge and hissed.

"Kathy, don't look now. But there's an undercover cop who's been watching you for the last ten minutes."

He deliberately avoided looking in my direction as he spoke. She had been completely engrossed, but his words made her head shoot round in surprise.

"_Where?_" She whispered, scanning the crowd. "Show me."

"Don't look now, he's still watching you." Her friend warned in a loud undertone.

I forced myself to look away, having to make do with listening to their conversation instead.

The lanky guy sounded relieved. "Oh, wait a second… he just turned away. You can look now. He's over there… no, not that way… over there…" he instructed. "The one with the crew cut."

"Him?"

"Yeah, that's the one."

However much I wanted to watch Kathy's reaction, I kept my eyes averted, and listened for her reply with baited breath. When she finally answered, her tone was one of calm assurance.

"Brian, he's not a cop."

"You're kidding, right…? Look at his hair."

"I see it." Kathy answered quietly. Even at that distance, I could almost hear her smiling. I liked the sound of her voice; it had an attractive, husky edge, but it was her next words which really took me by surprise.

"But even that's not enough to convince me he's a cop," she added wryly. "I'd say he's in the navy."

My eyebrows shot up. How in the hell did she know _that_ about my human past? I couldn't help myself from glancing her way. I was too shocked to hold back. Luckily, she was looking at her friend, and neither of them noticed me watching them. The guy seemed to mirror my surprise.

"How do you know he's in the navy?" He demanded.

Good question.

Katherine just shrugged evasively. "I don't know, I guess I just do."

Her friend seemed unconvinced. "He still looks like the fuzz to me," he grumbled. "Just make sure you watch yourself today. Whoever he is, he looks like trouble."

"Hm…" she replied, non-committedly.

She glanced towards me again, and this time I didn't look away. I expected her to behave in the usual human way. Generally, if one was unfortunate enough to catch my eye, they would quickly drop their gaze, sometimes through embarrassment, but more often through fear.

But not Kathy. When those aqua eyes locked onto mine she seemed momentarily surprised, but quickly recovered and instead of looking away, she glared back at me challengingly.

And I liked it.

I flashed a smile, answering her dare, and she threw me a withering look in return and pointedly turned away. There was something about her fearless attitude that had me biting back a grin. This girl was irresistible, treating me with such scornful contempt. And again, the scent of her blood wafted towards me, a soft sea breeze, swirling through my mind and burning my throat. Now I had a fix on it, I would be able to find her anywhere. And I suddenly realised that I wanted to.

Katherine's disdain had awoken the hunter in me. It made me want her more. Not because I wanted to punish her for her defiance, quite the contrary. In this girl I sensed a worthy foe. I had caught a glimpse of a fearless spirit in her eyes, and I found myself wishing that she was physically as strong as me.

This idea caught me slightly off-guard. A challenging trail was one thing, but this was something entirely new. I wasn't used to finding my meals so interesting, or wanting them to fight back. But with Kathy I wanted a contest, not just a simple hunt.

I swiftly reminded myself that that wasn't going to happen, she wasn't a vampire, she was a human being, and her blood belonged to me. The only thing that mattered was when I decided to demonstrate that ownership.

Of course, I wasn't going to kill her that afternoon. Someone like Kathy didn't come along every day, or even every decade, and I wanted to savour the hunt. She was going to be a treat for the future, something special to look forward to. And I could always grab a bite on the way home.

Having made the decision, that should have been the moment to leave, but I didn't. I couldn't resist staying at the demonstration. I removed myself from Katherine's sight, but I still kept her in mine. I noticed that she frequently glanced around. She probably thought she was being subtle. I was sure that she was looking for me. I found the idea surprisingly gratifying, especially since she didn't believe that I was an undercover cop.

As the day wore on, the atmosphere at the demonstration changed. The more determined protesters remained, while the lightweights drifted away. The cops began to show up in numbers and their hostility turned the mood ugly. This wouldn't have bothered me under normal circumstances, but Kathy was still in the crowd. It was the first time since my transition that I'd considered human vulnerability to be a bad thing.

I watched the violence erupt. Small pockets of fighting at first, gradually spreading through the crowd as the cops started making arrests. They attacked the protesters indiscriminately with batons and dragged them across the scrubby grass. It was a mess and Kathy was caught right in the middle of it. She was separated from her friends as the police rushed their lines.

Kathy tried to make a run for it, as the crowd splintered, but within moments a cop had grabbed hold of her. He was a big, beefy, son-of-a-bitch and he had no qualms about using his size and weight against an unarmed girl. She fought and screamed but she was no match for the bastard. Within seconds, he had her arms behind her and had forced her to her knees.

My instincts were going crazy watching them, I wanted to intervene, but I knew that I would be crossing a serious boundary. As a vampire I preferred to stay inconspicuous, and so I generally steered clear of cops, but this creep had his hands on my property. He stood over her, pressing her forward, and even at a distance, the scent of his hatred was bitter in my throat.

I told myself not to get involved, to just walk away and track her another day, but then he leaned in, tightening his hold to a point of pain as he fumbled to find his handcuffs. Kathy cried out and the cop's scent changed subtly. A hint of lust crept in.

The bastard never knew what hit him. I wanted to rip him to pieces; maybe I would have, if Kathy hadn't been there. Afterwards, I told myself that I'd shown restraint because we were surrounded by witnesses, but the true reason was that committing murder in front of Kathy felt wrong. I didn't want her to see that.

Katherine was shoved to the ground when I knocked out the cop. And I contented myself with dragged his unconscious body away and setting her free. As his heavy weight lifted, she turned to see what had happened.

Her huge, frightened eyes flew to my face and I found myself locked in her gaze. Kathy didn't move, she scarcely breathed, as I towered over her. Her body remained frozen as she stared up at me with those crystal clear eyes.

And I didn't really know how to deal with her. Playing knight in shining armour to a human girl was a new role for me, besides which, her posture was slightly more vulnerable than I liked. My blood was already up and at that moment she looked a little too much like prey. I'd already decided that she was mine, but if I didn't do something I wouldn't get the chance to track her, I would kill her there and then.

Taking a deep breath, I kept a hold on my predatory urges, but I knew that my control was hanging by a threat. I needed to get Kathy away from me before it was too late.

"_Run_." I commanded sharply.

She snapped out of her frozen state. Her eyes fell on the unconscious cop, whose limp body was still dangling from hand. She threw me a look of dismay, as she finally registered what I had done.

"_Oh my God_…"

I got frustrated. This girl wasn't moving quickly enough and it wasn't just me who she needed to escape. There were other cops around, and it was only a matter of time before one of them noticed what had happened. Did she _want_ to be arrested?

I dumped the cop on the ground. "Get out of here," I snarled. "Run!_ Do it now!_"

Katherine didn't need to be told again, our eye contact was broken as she scrambled to her feet, stumbling in her haste. She seemed too shocked to question me.

"Come on," she gasped, turning on her heel and breaking into a run.

She clearly assumed that I would follow as she sprinted away. The most surprising thing of all was that I almost did!

Kathy was fast, much faster than I had expected, and within moments she had put some real distance between us. As she darted across the ground, between the remaining protesters, she disappeared from view, and I was hit by an unexpected pang of regret.

I didn't hang around to analyse my emotions, I needed to get the hell away from the unconscious cop. My impulse was to break his neck before I left, but I didn't. For all I knew, there might have been witnesses, and I didn't want Katherine to be linked to the death of a policeman.

My desire to protect Kathy from that kind of trouble, and the fact that a couple of days later I hunted down the cop to avenge her, should have told me the true nature of my feelings, but I was hopelessly out of my depth, and remained completely blind to them.

I didn't see Kathy again on the day of the demonstration. I spirited myself away without further question, but I vowed that I would find her again. I would track her down and claim her blood. Nothing was going to stop me…

I wish I'd known what I was starting. If only I had recognised what she already meant to me. If only I had understood that I loved her.

Kathy watched me quietly, as these thoughts crowded my mind. She lifted her fingers to my cheek and leaned in close. Her eyes softened.

"I remember the very first time I saw you, Leo. My friend Brian pointed you out in the crowd, and I couldn't believe that I hadn't noticed you before. He assumed you were a cop, but I thought you had a military vibe going on. But, God… whatever the case, anyone who saw you would take a second look… and I was no different. You looked like you'd just stepped off the big screen. Of course, I had no idea that you were a vampire, but I _did_ know that I'd never in my whole life seen anyone so handsome."

The news that Kathy had been dazzled by my appearance was hardly pleasing. I frowned disapprovingly. "Our looks are just bait, you know that."

Her mouth curved into a soft, teasing smile. "Yeah, I know. But, after all, I _was_ only human…"

I didn't care if Kathy wasn't bothered, I hated that she had fallen victim to the vampire in me. I pulled away from her touch, replying curtly.

"I'm glad you approved."

"Hey…" Kathy wouldn't let me look away. She placed a soft hand under my chin and gently turned my head to face her. "Don't be angry."

"I'm not angry with you," I admitted bitterly. "It just makes me sick to my stomach that those lures actually work. I can't stand it, because I know that you recognised me when you saw me again on the beach at Point Lobos. You remembered me that evening, even though you hadn't seen me in months. You remembered me… and you were happy. You probably thought Prince Charming had appeared. You had no idea that I was a goddamn killer," I snarled. "Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?"

Rather than being upset by my tirade, Kathy raised a dark eyebrow. "Prince Charming, huh? Well, I guess if I'd thought _that_, I would have been a little disappointed. You're not too refined, you know."

"Dammit, Kathy. This isn't a joke."

Her smile faded and was replaced by a solemn expression. "No, you're right, it isn't." She rested both hands on my shoulders. "It was never light-hearted for me. Right from the very start it was serious. It was everything…

"When I first saw you I _did_ notice you were big and handsome. I would have to be blind to think anything else… but there was more to it than that. You weren't looking at me. Your eyes were on something else and you were frowning. To be frank, I thought you looked a little frightening. But I still felt it."

"Felt what?"

Katherine settled in my arms, resting her head against my shoulder with a dreamy sigh. "I don't know. It's hard to explain, but I guess you'd understand it better than most people… my instincts… they just woke up. I know what you're going to say. Vampires rattle human instincts; make the hairs rise on the back of their necks. But it wasn't like that."

"How was it?" I murmured into her hair.

"I felt as if a golden bell had been rung, too quietly to hear, but I could still feel its vibrations in the centre of my being. The note resonated at just the right pitch, humming in my heart, as if was meant only for me… and it was scary and exciting at the same time. It felt like a wakeup call.

"I didn't know how to react. I just stood gaping, I couldn't look away. But then you turned your head. You noticed that I was watching you, and you gave me that stare… You were so confident, Leo. You had the look of a guy who always got exactly what he wanted; someone who could make a fool of a girl without even trying. And then you smiled at me… and it was like… like… just wow!

"But I resented the hell out of you for the way you made me feel. I hated that I found you attractive, when it was so clear that you were a player. And I really I resented that I wanted to speak to you, even though I knew you were just messing with me." She lifted her head and met my eyes with a grim smile. "I have to admit, you pissed me off."

I felt strangely relieved that Kathy hadn't been entirely fooled by me. I held her tightly and gave a short laugh.

"I guess you had me figured out."

She shook her head ruefully. "I tried to ignore you, but I was confused. Those feelings, those instincts, they didn't go away. When I looked around again, you'd disappeared and my heart sank. I wondered where you were… I was suspicious of you, but I still wanted to see you.

"For the rest of the afternoon, I kept searching for you in the crowd, but you were nowhere to be seen. I thought you'd left. I didn't want to admit it, but I was disappointed and I had an uneasy feeling, like I was missing something important. But I told myself that your looks had turned my head and I was a fool to be so impressed by a handsome guy."

I gave her a cryptic smile. "I'm glad that you had _some_ sense."

Katherine's expression became earnest. "No, you don't understand… that time my logic was wrong and my heart was absolutely right."

"What do you mean?" As far as I could see Kathy's logic had been absolutely spot on.

"It was real, the connection between us, the destiny. It was all there, right from the start. I'd sensed it when I first saw you, but it wasn't until you saved me that everything fell into place.

"That fat cop had me pinned to the ground and I was terrified. I wasn't thinking about anything but trying to break free. When he suddenly let me go, I had no idea what had happened. I turned around and could hardly believe my eyes when I saw you standing there. You were the last person I'd expected to see, and you'd set me free."

"I didn't want to get involved, but I couldn't help myself," I confessed. "I had to protect you."

"The look on your face… I'd never seen anything like it." She gave an involuntary shudder. "I guess there's nothing quite like an angry vampire. You seemed just about ready to commit murder."

"I was," I said simply.

Kathy smiled. "Yeah, well, you looked it. But I wasn't afraid." She lowered her eyes. "I don't know what happened, you stared me straight in the eye and that was it. I lost my soul to you there and then, and nothing… _nothing_ was ever the same for me again. You told me to run and I did. At that point, I don't think I could have refused you anything. I thought you were behind me, but when I looked around you were gone… and I was devastated…

"I had no idea who you were, or if I would ever see you again, but I _never_ stopped wanting you, Leo," she said softly. "Not then. Not ever. Even after you turned me, when I was so angry that I could hardly bear to speak to you. Even after we'd been separated for fifty years, I still wanted you."

Her revelation left me stunned. I shook my head in disbelief. "That's not possible."

Logically, I knew that Kathy wouldn't lie, but it all seemed so unlikely. She seemed to understand how I was feeling. She waited for a second, before replying gently.

"It's the truth."

I was still in shock. If Katherine had wanted me the way I wanted her, how in the hell could I have been so unaware?

"Are you telling me…? You're telling me… _all this time…?_"

She nodded and I heard the tremor in her voice. "For years I doubted myself. For years I suffered and believed that I was mistaken. But I was right. Those instincts were right from the very start. I was always yours and you were always mine. Things may not have been easy for us, but we were made for each other."

I could see my own pain reflected in Kathy's eyes. The loss of our past etched into her lovely face. Brushing a thumb over her trembling lips, I fought back a wave of regret.

"I wish I'd known. I've wasted so many years…" I traced her cheeks, knowing that if she'd been human, she would have been crying. "I'm so sorry."

Kathy shook her head in denial. "It wasn't just you. I was a fool. During those months together, after I stopped feeling angry and we were happy travelling in each other's company, I was too proud to let you know that I cared. And when we had that fight, I knew that you expected me to wait for you, but I left you anyway. I was upset, but I should have waited. I should have told you how I felt."

"I don't blame you for that. I was really asking for it. I'm sorry that I hurt you and I'm sorry for everything I said. I didn't mean any of it. And for what it's worth, I don't know about the rest of our kind, but believe that _you_ have a soul, and it's beautiful."

After all these years, I felt strange discussing the cause of our most enduring rift.

When Kathy was first turned, I'd failed to tell her the conventional belief, that vampires didn't have souls. I'd never intended to keep it a secret, but before I remembered to raise the issue, she expressed the desire to one day be reunited with her loved ones in the afterlife.

Things weren't going very well between us at the time, and I got the impression that the hope of a better afterlife was the only bright spot in Katherine's otherwise bleak existence as a newborn. I didn't want to upset her with the news that it probably wouldn't be an option, so I said nothing and clung optimistically to the belief that one day a suitable moment would arise when I could tell her the truth.

As the weeks passed, we travelled the Californian forests together and Kathy gradually adjusted to her new life. I stopped feeding on humans to please her, and she tolerated tracking to humour me, and somehow we managed to forge an unlikely alliance.

I loved the time we spent together. I had no idea if Katherine would ever want to be more than friends, but that didn't make any difference to the way I felt about her, or how dependant I became on her company. I may have been a lone tracker before, but once Kathy was in my life I couldn't imagine being without her. She gradually grew happier too, and for some reason it became progressively harder, not easier, to confess.

Initially, this was because I didn't want to lose the hard-won ground that I had gained, but then it was because my whole outlook changed. When I stared into Kathy's eyes, in the months while they slowly transformed from flaming red to gold, I just couldn't believe that they weren't windows to a very special soul. Whatever the rest of the vampire population might be, I could not accept that she was damned. So I said nothing, and told myself that it never needed to be an issue.

Of course, I hadn't counted on Dominica.

When we crossed her path, the situation unexpectedly came to a head. Dominica instantly recognised the change in me, the change in my outlook. Even if the colour of my eyes hadn't given it away, she would have guessed. Dominica knew me just a little too well, and she very rightly attributed the change to Katherine. She wasn't happy about it, and she completely outsmarted me.

Sadly, at the time Dominica actually thought she was doing me a favour. She believed Kathy to be a bad influence, and had no idea of how deeply attached I had become. Dominica very neatly instigated a disagreement between Kathy and me, playing on the weakness and insecurity in our relationship to devastating effect.

Dominica made me feel like I was making a fool of myself, going against my true nature and playing vegetarian lapdog to a girl who obviously wasn't interested in me. And she then implied that Kathy was just another of my many conquests, falling for a man who would never love her.

At the time, I had no idea of how much Kathy would take this suggestion to heart. I didn't know that she had any romantic feelings towards me at all. I just thought she'd be insulted by the very idea. But, looking back, Dominica's insinuations must have been extremely hurtful and humiliating for Katherine.

These things might not have been enough to cause our separation, but the situation rapidly went from bad to worse. I still don't know what evil genius prompted Dominica to point out that we shouldn't worry about feeding on human blood, because vampires were soulless beings and therefore immune to future moral judgements.

Kathy's confused reaction told Dominica that she'd struck gold. Her almond eyes glinted as she capitalised on this unexpected advantage. She very sleekly put Kathy straight, spelling out the vampire folklore and destroying all her hopes of salvation in a single instant.

I would never forget Katherine's crushed expression, as she stared into my face and searched for a denial. Or forget the betrayal in her eyes, when that denial never came, and she finally realised that I'd been deceiving her for months.

But Kathy's betrayal quickly changed to anger, and she turned on me with bitter recriminations. If I'd had more sense, I would have understood that she was deeply hurt and disappointed, because she cared about me and I had let her down, but unfortunately I took her anger at face value.

I believed that she still saw me as nothing more than an indiscriminate killer. That her bad opinion of me would never change. And I was ashamed, because I felt that her opinion was correct.

But, instead of trying to apologise, or work things out, I was proud and stubborn. I refused to admit my guilt, or tell Kathy how much I cared. I pretended that I didn't give a damn what she thought of me, and emphasised my point by immediately agreeing to go hunting with Dominica. I saw Kathy's expression. She looked disgusted and miserable, but I had no idea that she was about to walk out on me.

When I examined the past, I realised that I deserved exactly what I got, just for being so damn oblivious.

"God, I was such an idiot," I sighed, mulling over to my numerous mistakes. "I still am."

"No more than me." Kathy smiled. "And we're both too proud for our own goods. I mean, when I look back, I realise that what hurt me the most wasn't the soul thing. To be honest, I don't feel I'm any different inside from the human I used to be. I believe I have a soul. My physical transformation hasn't changed that. I've met some vampires who seem pretty soulless, but that also applies to some of the human beings I've encountered over the years. Personally, I think it depends on the person.

"But when we had that fight, I think what upset me the most was the thought that you'd been keeping a secret from me for months. You knew it mattered to me, and I felt that you'd just been laughing behind my back the whole time…"

"I swear, I wasn't…"

"You don't need to tell me that. I know you weren't. You were probably trying to spare my feelings, but at the time I was too upset to think clearly. I should have known that you weren't trying to make a fool of me. You were hard on me when we were first together, but that didn't last for long. Afterwards you were actually quite considerate and thoughtful. You tried to be kind to me. We may not have been lovers, Leo, but we _were_ friends, and I should have had a little more faith in that." She smiled sheepishly, admitting. "So there you go… I was an idiot too."

I grinned. "I don't mind, as long as you're _my_ idiot."

"Well, at least that's settled." She rolled her eyes, and I leaned in to kiss her.

As the gentle breeze wafted around me, carrying the aroma of wild grass and Kathy's wonderful scent, I considered the lonely decades of separation, and the endless pleasure to be found in her company, and I smiled.

"You bet, beautiful."

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Hello again, thank you for waiting so patiently for this chapter, sorry it took so long. There aren't many more to go, and the next will be posted in two weeks.**

**And I just want to add a special thanks to everyone who has reviewed this story, or added it to their lists (including Olivia and the guest). I always notice and I am always really pleased :)**

**Thanks for reading, have a great fortnight,**

**Mad :)**


	73. Leo, home

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

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><p><strong>As always, a huge thank you to my lovely beta, willowbae, for being the best beta ever :)<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 73.<strong>

**Leo – home**

I could happily have spent a sunny eternity on Emerald Isle with Kathy, but nature had other plans for us. Towards the end of August, the weather took a sudden downturn. Since Arctic seasons changed swiftly, it was clear that our summer was over. Kathy didn't need persuasion to leave the island. However beautiful it might be, the reality of a long, dark, Arctic winter wasn't particularly inviting to either of us.

Once we'd made the decision, we left the island quickly. Delaying our departure would only give time for travelling conditions to worsen, making the journey back to civilisation that bit more difficult. It was tough to leave the place where we'd spent so many happy days, but we promised to return someday.

Although it was hard to say goodbye to our happy isolation and return to the real world, Kathy's company made the journey back to Edmonton far more enjoyable than my trek out to the island, and the miles flew by without any problems.

Unsurprisingly, my system did receive a shock when we encountered humans again. Having been deprived of their scent for weeks; I was far more sensitive to its effects. My throat burned like hell, and I could tell that Kathy was also suffering, though she didn't grumble as much as I did.

But the hardest thing of all was that although Kathy had agreed to live with me in San Francisco, we were going to spend a week apart before she moved in. I planned to fly straight home from Edmonton, but she had some personal matters that she wanted to take care of, before making the trip to California.

When we parted at Edmonton International Airport I could hardly stand to let her go. Kathy reassured me that she would be in San Francisco in a week, and reminded me that my friends in Virginia had guaranteed her safety.

"Maybe I should come with you, anyway." I suggested, for the thousandth time.

Kathy slowly guided me towards her departure gate. "We've been over this, Leo. I know it sounds stupid, but I really need to face this alone. It's just something I have to do."

I pulled her close, mumbling into her hair. "I understand. I mean… my head understands, but I can't vouch for the rest of me."

I held on tight. I couldn't believe how hard it was to let go. I honestly felt like I was about to start shaking. Kathy seemed to understand. She hugged me tightly and captured my face in her hands. She glared at me and I could tell she felt the same way.

"We'll be together in seven days," she vowed fiercely. "_Nothing_ is going to keep me away from you. Understand?"

"Sure." I nodded, without relaxing my grip.

Kathy gave a low laugh and gently eased herself out of my hold. "I'd better go," she said, leaning forward and kissing me quickly. "You have a safe flight too. I'll see you soon."

I handed Katherine her backpack. "See you soon, beautiful. Call me at the house tonight. And if you're not back with me in a week, I swear to God, I'll track you down."

Kathy laughed. She thought I was joking.

I wasn't.

I watched her plane take off, and congratulated myself for not chasing the damn thing down the runway – I never knew I had that much restraint. It nearly killed me to watch her leave, and if it wasn't for my friends in Virginia, promising her protection, I don't think I could have let her go, no matter what she thought she needed.

My flight wasn't until the evening, so I spend a long, boring day at the airport, worrying. Had Kathy's flight landed safely? Had Walker met her at the airport? Did I need to go to Virginia to kick his ass for forgetting to show up? Or did I need to go to Virginia to kick his ass for hitting on her? But the most important question of all, did she miss me the way I missed her?

Fortunately for my piece of mind, my flight was on time, and before I knew it, I was stepping off the plane in good ol' San Francisco. Even without Kathy, it was still a relief to be home. As I climbed the front steps of our house, and glanced down the darkened street, I felt a happy sense of familiarity. I could hear little Sidney Finkleman in the house next door, chatting with her older sisters, and the sounds of other neighbours watching TV and sleeping.

Hal had no idea that I was coming home, and when I opened the front door and called out his name, he appeared in the study doorway.

"Leo." He beamed; looking both surprised and extremely pleased. "You're home."

"Yeah." I dumped my backpack in the entrance and pushed the door closed with my boot. "It's good to see you, man."

Hal wasn't generally into physical displays of affection. In his world, a handshake was really letting go, but I caught hold of his shoulders and gave him a hug anyway. He looked a little embarrassed, but quickly returned my hug before extracting himself with a self-conscious smile.

"I'm glad you're home," said Hal, eyeing me warily. "How are you?"

Considering my frame of mind when I'd departed for Canada, my brother had good cause to look worried, but I quickly reassured him.

"I'm great. Everything's great."

"Oh…" He seemed surprised. "So… did you find Katherine?"

"Yeah, I did." I couldn't hide my smug grin any longer. "I asked her to come to San Francisco with me."

Hal took the news that he was to have a new lodger with remarkable calmness. He mostly looked confused, as he glanced around the hallway.

"Um…" he said, peering towards the front door. "Where is she?"

I smiled and put my arm around his shoulders. "She's in Virginia."

"That's…" Hal looked bewildered. "Yes, well… that's…"

I laughed and took pity on him, leading him into the study to tell him all about my Arctic adventures. "You know, Kathy says she can't wait to meet you…"

When I told Hal my news, I was touched by his obvious pleasure. He seemed to be genuinely thrilled. I hadn't seen him look that exited since the second super-string revolution. He instantly invited Kathy to come live with us, which was really nice. Even though I'd already asked her, it was good that Hal had made the invitation official, since it was actually his house.

During the flight I'd been mulling over our living arrangements and I had come to the conclusion that Kathy might need a room of her own. Obviously, I wanted her to stay in my room, but I realised that she might need a special place that was hers alone, where she could store her stuff, and do her own thing. Hell, Kathy might just want somewhere to escape to, if she needed a break from me. After all, she was used to living independently, and it was safe to assume that living together might take some adjustment.

Hal didn't bother with a bedroom; his special place was the study. He kept his clothes and personal items in the smallest room upstairs, which was hardly bigger than a walk-in wardrobe. The second largest bedroom upstairs, which was just along the hall from mine, was used for storing books and filing cabinets. I asked Hal if I could move those things into the basement and give the room to Kathy. He agreed and I set to work that very evening.

I didn't tell Katherine what I was doing when she called. I wanted to surprise her. Kathy told me that she really missed me. She said that Walker had been extremely friendly when he came to meet her. He'd introduced her to the gang and generously offered her a place to crash. She also mentioned that he had a new girlfriend, which stopped me from instantly flying to Virginia in a jealous rage.

Kathy said that she was going to start her mission the next day. She planned to visit her brother's grave in Arlington, and also try to discover if her dad was still alive. If he wasn't, Kathy wanted to know where he was buried. Since he was an officer in the marines, she thought there was good chance that the Department of the Army, or the Department of Veterans Affairs, could have some record of his final resting place.

In our week apart, we spoke every day. Kathy didn't talk much about how things were going in Virginia. I didn't question her too closely; it was obvious that she needed some privacy to deal with the past. When I wasn't speaking to Kathy, I filled my time with home improvements, so that her room would be ready for her arrival.

It didn't take long to clear out all Hal's paperwork and dump it in the basement. After that I set to work, turning the neglected bedroom into a refuge for Kathy. I wanted it to be the kind of place where she could relax, the kind of place where she'd actually want to be.

I started by stripping away the dingy seventies wallpaper and carpets, and painting the room. Strangely enough, I was actually a pretty competent painter and decorator, because I had spent my early years in the navy painting a succession of warships. I remembered feeling like my buddies and I had painted the whole damn fleet.

Thankfully, that kind of manual work had become much easier since my transformation. I got the painting done so quickly that I had plenty of time to sand and polish the floor, put up a new curtain rail, and wash the bay window panes by the end of the second day.

I painted the room a soft golden yellow, like a sandy beach, because Kathy was a California girl. It looked good with the polished floor and white woodwork, but I still felt a little daunted when it came to the task of actually furnishing the place. I had never been an 'ideal homes' kind of guy, and I had no idea of how to make it nice.

Asking my brother for advice was pointless, he would have tried to help, but Hal was even more clueless than me when it came to that kind of thing. In the end, his computer proved to be far more useful than he could ever have been. For a start, I discovered that there was actually a furniture district in San Francisco. And on day three, I went there.

The first four stores I visited were a total nightmare. I had no idea what I was doing, and I wandered around, feeling lost, and looking like someone who'd just walked in by mistake.

My personal low point was when some dumb assistant sidled over and asked me if I needed help testing a mattress. I was so busy trying to work out if Kathy would find the damn thing comfortable, that her suggestive remark actually managed to catch me off-guard for the first time in decades. If I'd been human, I probably would have blushed scarlet, and I left the store feeling mortified.

By the time I stumbled into store number five, I was almost ready to throw in the towel. But that was before I encountered the store manager, Juan, who turned out to be an angel sent down from decorators' heaven, on a divine mission to help tasteless morons furnish their homes with a little style.

He caught sight of my weary countenance and hurried over, sympathy written all over his face. Waving away the junior assistants, he introduced himself and swiftly set to work, putting my world to rights.

As a tracker with a taste for violence, I couldn't have imagined myself submitting so completely to the will of a slight, human male. Under normal circumstances, I might have dismissed this immaculate guy, with his exquisite clothes and manicure, as nothing more than a peacock. But I wasn't in my world anymore, and I quickly discovered that in the realm of home interiors, Juan was a Colossus.

Within moments, I was sitting at his desk, pouring my heart out, telling him about my decorating problems, the architectural style of Hal's house, and my relationship with Kathy.

I somehow refrained from blabbing 'don't be fooled by my youthful appearance, I've loved her for over fifty years, because we're both vampires', but I did make it clear that it had taken us a while to get together. I even managed to give him a lengthy description of Katherine's physical appearance, and I think the expression 'soul mate' may have slipped in somewhere.

He nodded his head sagely and drew a sketch of the 'space', as I rambled away. And when I eventually ran out of steam, he pursed his lips and gave me a long look. When he finally opened his mouth, his words were like music to my ears.

"I think I have what you're looking for…"

Juan envisaged a room with a beach theme. Nothing too obvious or tacky, he seemed to be thinking driftwood and pacific light. I just went along with whatever he recommended, as he chose a double bed, a large rug, a writing desk, a bookshelf, chairs, three lamps, a bureau and a trunk which, for better or worse, looked like it had been salvaged from a shipwreck. He also called a friend of his, to supply designer bedding, cushions and curtains. I just nodded trustingly and paid whatever he asked, thanking my lucky stars that my advisor seemed to know what he was doing.

Juan understood that I was working within a tight schedule, and since money was no object, he promised that everything would be delivered before Katherine's return. It was clear that Juan felt a personal interest in making everything perfect for her. He seemed to be quite the romantic.

By the time I left the shop, my fortunes – and mood – had considerably improved. The day was cloudy and I had the chance to walk the streets for a few more hours. Buoyed by my experience with Juan, I even wandered into an antiques market.

I was poking around the stalls when I spotted a small bronze statue of a mermaid. I didn't know if Juan would approve, it wasn't badly modelled, but I doubted that it would have fit into his vision for Kathy's room, but it instantly made me think of her, so I bought it anyway.

After that, I carried on to an electrical store, to order Kathy a laptop and a stereo, and by the time I returned home, I felt as if I was really making headway.

The next few days were spent tidying the rest of the house, and receiving and unwrapping deliveries. I placed the furniture as Juan had painstakingly advised. I had to admit, that by the time I'd hung the curtains, the place looked pretty good. The very last delivery appeared on the day of Kathy's arrival, and I was really relieved that her room was done in time.

The finishing touches were the new copy of The Count of Monte Cristo, which I placed strategically on her bookshelf, and the bronze mermaid statue, which stood on the desk in the bay window. I called Juan to tell him that everything had arrived safely, and I thanked him for his help. He asked me to email photos of the room. This small job turned out to be a good distraction from thinking about Kathy's return. I was so jumpy that I could hardly sit still; it must have been bad because even Hal noticed.

By the time I hit the airport that evening, I was a bag of nerves. What if Kathy had missed her flight? What if she'd been hijacked by an aggressive coven on the way to the airport? Or what if she'd just changed her mind about me?

She hadn't sounded like she was having second thoughts when I last spoke to her, but nearly a day had passed since then.

A lot could happen in a day.

I stood by the arrivals gate for nearly half an hour, fretting. A number of girls approached me, asking for directions around the airport, but since at least two of them were actually flight attendants, I didn't take their enquiries very seriously.

It was only when I heard that Kathy's flight had landed that I remembered I hadn't bought her any flowers. It seemed a little late to look for any. I didn't want to miss her arrival. I just hoped she wouldn't notice this oversight.

The passengers started pouring through the gate and I couldn't see Kathy anywhere. My heart remained in my throat, searching for her amongst the humans. I wanted to see her so badly I was on the verge of charging through the gate to find her. I was just about to lose it, when I suddenly caught her scent on the air. A moment later, I spotted Katherine's tall form, winding through the mass of people. Our eyes met at exactly the same moment.

"_Leo_."

Kathy broke out of the crowd, running straight into my arms. I caught her in a crushing hold as she wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me.

"God, I'm so glad to see you," she exclaimed. "I missed you so much."

Just like that, all my anxieties evaporated and I kissed her fiercely. "I missed you too."

We took a cab home from the airport, and once we'd settled in the backseat, Kathy leaned against me. She seemed very subdued and her expression was weary.

I wrapped my arm around her shoulders. "Are you ok?"

She nodded and threw me a sideways glance. "Yeah, I'm good. It's just been a really long week, that's all…"

When I thought of everything she'd been through, it seemed no surprise that she looked so drained. I knew that she'd located and visited her father's grave, as well as her brother's.

"You want to talk about it?"

She shook her head slowly. "I'm sure I will one day, but not right now. It's still too fresh."

I squeezed her shoulders. "Sure, whenever you're ready…"

"Thanks." Kathy rested her curly head on my shoulder. "I appreciate it."

"Anytime, you know that."

"I know."

When she raised her head a while later, she sounded more like her usual self. "So, tell me about the house. Your brother definitely agreed to me staying, didn't he?"

"I told you he did."

Kathy seemed sceptical. "Yeah, well, you're kind of pushy. I guess I just wanted to double check."

"He can tell you himself in a minute, we're almost home."

"Home…" she repeated, suddenly looking worried.

I took her hand. "Don't worry; Hal's going to love you. For a start, you've actually read more than one book."

Kathy smiled, and when we pulled up outside the house a few moments later, she allowed herself to be led up the steps without any protest. I was pleased that even at night the house managed to look fairly inviting. Thankfully, Hal had remembered to turn on all the lights. We didn't need them to see by, but they did create a friendlier atmosphere.

Hal must have been waiting for us, because he opened the front door welcomingly. My brother was always a formal dresser, but I noticed that he'd made an extra effort to look smart. I put my arm around Kathy's waist and guided her through the door.

"Hal, this is Kathy."

As I closed the door behind me, Hal took Katherine's hand with a small bow. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Lewis, I am Halsten."

"Please, call me Katherine," she replied shyly. "It's really nice to meet you too. Leo talks about you all the time."

Hal looked pleased. "Well, I hope you'll be very happy living here."

Kathy was visibly moved by Hal's kind welcome, and answered a low voice. "I'm sure I will be. And thank you for inviting me to stay in your home."

"This is your home now too."

"Thank you…" stuttered Kathy, seeming slightly overwhelmed. "Thank you… very much."

For a guy who was generally so out of touch, Hal somehow managed to give just the right answer.

"There's no need to thank me." He smiled, adding simply. "Leo is my brother, and you are his mate. You belong here."

I could have hugged him. But I restrained myself and hugged my beautiful angel instead. At that moment, Hal eased himself past us, towards the front door.

"Unfortunately, I have a late meeting with Professor McCloud, so I have to go out for a few hours. I hope you don't mind."

"No, that's fine."

I grinned, opening the door and heaping silent blessings on my brother's head. He knew that I wanted to spend some time alone with Katherine.

"I can show Kathy around."

Hal nodded and we said our goodbyes. And as soon as he was out of the door, Kathy whispered under her breath. "I hope he didn't leave on account of me."

"He did," I assured her. "But only in a _good_ way." She laughed and I picked up her backpack. "How about a quick tour?"

Kathy slipped her fingers into mine. "That would be really nice."

I showed her around the ground floor, the rarely-used kitchen, study and living room. She gazed at the bookshelves, which lined every wall.

"Wow, this place is better than a library."

"Well, you know me and my taste for literature," I said, leading her upstairs.

I showed her the bathroom, and then took her to my bedroom, which was at the back of the house. Kathy peered into my Spartan room and smiled politely.

"This looks very nice."

"Thanks."

I placed her backpack in the corner and bit back a grin. I knew perfectly well that Kathy was just being kind. My room wasn't terrible, it was clean and tidy, but it was way too sparse to be considered 'very nice'. It was exactly what it had always been. It was functional.

She tentatively stepped inside and glanced at me. "You're sure you don't mind sharing? I wouldn't want to crowd you."

I pulled her into my arms and gazed down at her worried face. "I _want_ you here. I like sharing things with you." I smiled. "Unless you're having second thoughts…"

She threw me a wicked look from under her dark lashes. "Hm… now let me think about it…"

"While you're thinking, there's something else I'd like to show you."

She edged a little closer. "Sure… whatever you want…"

"Great." I grinned, releasing my hold and grabbing her hand.

"_Huh?_"

Kathy seemed surprised when I led her out of the bedroom and along the corridor. I stopped at the threshold of her new room.

"Close your eyes."

"Fine."

She shot me a suspicious glance and reluctantly closed her eyes, as I opened the door. I steered her into the room.

"Ok, you can open them."

"_Oh…!_" Kathy stared around the room, with her mouth hanging open.

I waited on tenterhooks for a few seconds, before finally asking. "Do you like it?"

"It's _beautiful…_" she said reverently. She quickly glanced my way. "Leo, what is this place?"

"It's your room." I hurriedly explained. "I mean, I did it for you. I always want you to sleep with me, and I want you to spend as much time in my room as you can stand, but I thought you might like somewhere you could keep your own things, and hang out, without me getting under your feet."

I took a deep breath. "And I wanted you to know that even if you get completely sick of me, you will still belong in this house. It'll always be your home, no matter what."

"I don't know what to say…" she murmured, stepping further inside to take a proper look around.

Her fingers skimmed the bureau and the white quilt. She crossed the room, and came to a halt beside the desk. She picked up the little bronze mermaid and stood for a long time, just staring at it. I wasn't entirely sure what she was thinking, for all I knew she might share Juan's opinions about knick-knacks, so I tried to reassure her that she could do what she wanted with the statue.

"I bought that in an antiques market this week. It made me think of you. But, you don't have to keep it, if you don't want to. You can change anything you like."

She turned around, wearing a strange, intense expression. "_You_ went to an antiques market?"

Was this a trick question? I had no idea, so I answered honestly. "Yes."

"You went to an antiques market… for _me?_" Her glowing eyes searched my face.

"Um… yeah."

Katherine sank down into the nearest chair, looking stunned. Filled with concern, I hurried to her side. I knelt down and caught her clasped hands in mine.

"Kathy, are you ok? I didn't mean to upset you, I'm sorry…"

She finally focused on me, gripping my hands tightly as she met my worried gaze.

"You don't understand," she choked. "No one has _ever_ done anything like this for me before. I've travelled for years, and I've met some really good people, like Nessie, who let me stay in her cottage, but I've never belonged in a family. I haven't had a real home for so long. Not since before I was turned…"

Kathy's voice broke as she tried to get a hold of herself. I rubbed the back of her hands, trying to comfort her. She took a long moment before continuing.

"But, you've given me that, Leo. You've given me a home… and you have no idea how much it means to me."

I brushed Katherine's hair out of her eyes. Her gratitude was breaking my heart. "I'd do anything for you, beautiful."

I wished there was a way I could show her how much she meant to me, that I'd be willing to sacrifice anything to keep her safe and happy. I wanted to tell her that she was mine and she never needed to be alone again, that we belonged together, forever.

But I didn't have the words. I didn't know how express my feelings without sounding either clingy or controlling. So I tried really hard to tone it down and say something supportive, but undemanding, something to let Kathy know that while I loved her more than anything, I would always give her space to live her life, without asking for anything in return.

But, whatever I intended to say, somewhere between my brain and my mouth there was a change of plan, and what actually came out was.

"Marry me, Kathy."

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Hello again. Thank you to the recent reviewers and the people who added this story to their lists, I really appreciate the positive feedback :) **

**There are only two more chapters to go! I hope to post the next one in three weeks time (Saturday 2nd November) *crosses fingers*. **

**Until then, thanks for reading and have a great three weeks,**

**Mad :)**


	74. Nessie, made for each other

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you to willowbae, best beta ever! What would I do without your great advice? :)<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 74.<strong>

**Nessie – made for each other**

A couple of weeks after my eighteenth birthday, I finally tackled one of my least favourite jobs, tidying my wardrobe and packing away my summer clothes. While I was rooting through the shoe boxes at the very back, my cell phone rang on the other side of the room. I threw myself across the floor and grabbed it.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Nessie," a familiar voice came down the line. "It's Katherine."

"Katherine!" I exclaimed, scrambling to my feet and tripping over a messy pile of clothes. "Thank God it's you. What happened to you? Where have you been? Are you ok?"

She answered my barrage of questions with characteristic calmness. "I was in the Arctic, and I'm really good thanks."

"Thank goodness. I've been so worried," I blurted out.

"I'm sorry. I never meant to make you anxious."

"It's ok. But I wasn't the only one. Leo was worried too… he went looking for you."

She paused for a second. "I know. He found me."

"He did?"

"Yeah."

"What happened?" I asked nervously, sitting down on the bed.

"He spent some time with me in the Arctic, and when the weather broke he suggested that we both travel to San Francisco. He invited me to come and live at Hal's house."

"Oh." I was surprised by this new development. "That was very nice of him. Are you in San Francisco now?"

"Yeah, I arrived yesterday."

I remembered my last stressful conversation with Leo, before he'd charged off to find her, and I worded my question carefully, bracing myself for an adverse reply.

"So… how are you two getting on?"

"Pretty well, actually." Katherine sounded as if she was smiling. "We're getting married."

"_What…!?_"

It took some persuasion to convince me that Katherine wasn't kidding, and even after that I needed several weeks to get over the shock of her announcement. Luckily, I had a full month before the wedding to pull myself together, so by the time I flew down to California to attend the actual event, I had basically recovered.

Leo and Katherine arranged their ceremony on the coast, just south of Carmel. Jake and I arrived the day before the wedding, and we brought Seth with us.

He'd been thrown into a dilemma when Katherine invited him and Marie to her wedding. He'd wanted to attend, because they were friends, but I'd happened to mention that a couple of unfamiliar, non-vegetarian vampires would be at the event. Seth didn't want us to face Leo's friends without back-up, but he was reluctant to expose Marie to possible danger.

In the end Marie solved the problem by suggesting that she visit her family on the Makah reservation while he attended the wedding, and Seth finally agreed to come with us. I knew that Katherine would be delighted to see him, and I was glad that he made the trip.

The wedding party was booked to stay in a beautiful coastal hotel just off the Cabrillo Highway, less than a mile from the Point Lobos State Reserve. The hotel was situated on the cliff, and when we arrived I was immediately struck by the wonderful sea view.

I climbed out of the cab and stared around me, taking note of the overcast sky. I knew that Leo had already consulted Alice about the weather and it seemed that her predictions were spot on.

"_Nessie!_"

I spun around just as Katherine appeared in the hotel entrance. A second later she was hugging me tightly.

"I'm so glad you could make it." She pulled away and looked me up and down, and smiled. "Wow, you look great. Very sophisticated."

"Thanks." I laughed, knowing that I actually looked more rumpled, than sophisticated. "But I'm not sure if that's really true, especially after the flight. But _you_ look amazing."

"You must be kidding me." She pointed to her well-worn jeans and pulled a face. "I look a mess."

"No you don't, you look really well."

This was true. Superficially, Katherine seemed her usual self, dressed in the same casual style, with a sweater and jeans, and her hair was the same unruly mass of waves, but something in her expression had altered. She looked really happy. I had seen her smile a thousand times, but this was different. She was lit up from the inside, a radiance which gave her beauty a new, deeper dimension.

Katherine was then captured by Seth and Jacob. She hugged them as Leo strolled out of the hotel, accompanied by Hal. Jake and Seth reached them first, but after some friendly hand shaking and back slapping, Leo finally turned to me.

"Hey, kid." He gave me a warm hug and a kiss on the cheek. "How's it going?"

"Great thanks." I smiled up at him. "How about you? Are you keeping out of trouble?"

His golden eyes held a wicked gleam. "Define _trouble_…"

Katherine caught this exchange and shook her blonde head. "Nessie, there's no use asking for the impossible. Leo's _always_ in trouble."

Leo responded by moving behind her and curling his arm around her neck. "Come on, Kathy," he murmured in her ear. "You know you love my wild side."

She rolled her eyes. "Speaking of definitions, you seem to have a problem distinguishing between the words 'love' and 'tolerate.'"

He dropped a kiss onto her head and smiled knowingly. "You just keep telling yourself that, babe."

She laughed and twisted in his hold, so that they were face to face. "Did you just call me _babe?_"

Leo leaned down, until their noses were almost touching, and smirked. "No… no, I don't think I did. I'm pretty sure I would have remembered saying something like that. Knowing how much you hate it."

Their gazes remained locked and Katherine murmured. "Remind me of exactly why I agreed to marry you, Leo."

"Well, my darling Katherine, you took me on an afternoon carriage ride without a chaperone, and my father insisted that you do the decent thing."

"Oh really?"

"Really…" Leo nodded slowly and lowered his head to kiss her, and I was distracted by a shy voice nearby.

"Miss Cullen… Nessie."

I turned to discover Hal at my elbow. He still looked as much like a white spectre as ever, but seemed to be in good spirits. I greeted him happily and presented him to Seth and Jake. After the introductions were made and pleasantries exchanged, we all went into the hotel.

Jake and Seth were sharing a room, because I was Katherine's maid of honour and we had agreed to share a room and get ready together the next morning. Once we'd checked in at the front desk, we went upstairs to get settled in. Jake and Seth left their bags in their room, and then came to find me. When they appeared I called them onto the balcony to admire the magnificent scenery.

The Californian coastline was rugged and reminded me a little of home. We were surrounded by dense undergrowth and pines, which thinned out as they grew closer to the sea. The water below was rough, breaking against the rocks in heavy, white waves. A fresh breeze blew around our heads as we leaned over the rail and peered down at the sea.

"Do you like it?" Katherine stepped onto the balcony.

Jacob glanced towards her. "It's an amazing place. I'm not surprised you chose it for the wedding."

Seth nodded enthusiastically. "It's beautiful. What made you think of it?"

Katherine laid her hand on the rail and gazed out to sea, her voice was a little pensive. "I used to visit this coast, years ago."

I hadn't noticed Leo entering the room, until he stepped on the balcony. He must have heard the conversation, but his expression was hard to read. Katherine glanced around and smiled the moment she caught sight of him. Leo stepped outside and came to stand close behind her. She leaned back and rested her head against his shoulder.

"Everyone's been admiring the view. They seem to approve of the location," she said teasingly.

He rested his hands on the rail either side of her and smiled. "Just wait until they see the beach."

"It is a special place," she agreed.

As he gazed down at her, his expression became serious. "Yes, it is."

"Well," I said, breaking the silence that followed. "I'm really looking forward to seeing it. If it's anything like this, I'm sure it will be beautiful."

That evening, after dinner, we all spent a pleasant few hours, relaxing on the outdoor terrace. Katherine gave Seth a late wedding gift. I could tell that he was very touched by her thoughtful present. It was a beautiful glass wolf, which she'd bought in Canada.

Just before midnight, Katherine checked her watch and stood up.

"Well, I guess it's time I went inside," she said, reminding us of the taboo of a bride and groom seeing each other before the wedding.

I dragged myself off Jacob's lap, where I'd been sitting comfortably for most of the evening. "I think I'll turn in too."

Katherine glanced my way. "You can stay here if you like."

"No, I need to get some sleep. It's going to be a busy day tomorrow." I kissed Jake goodnight and turned to the others. "See you tomorrow, guys."

They wished us goodnight, and Katherine leaned down to kiss Leo. He slipped his hand behind her head and pulled her close. When the kiss finally ended, he looked deep into her eyes.

"Sweet dreams, beautiful."

Katherine met his serious expression with a soft smile. "Always." She lightly brushed her fingertips along his jaw, before straightening up and nodding to the rest of the guys. "Goodnight boys... see you on the beach."

We went up to our room, and while I was brushing my teeth, Katherine asked me which bed I wanted. I said that I didn't mind, and she chose the one near the window. She locked the balcony door and drew the curtains, and I came out of the bathroom and began to change for bed. As I pulled on my pyjama top, I asked.

"So… you can sleep again?"

She strolled over to her suitcase and started rummaging around inside, digging out a tank top and pyjama shorts. "Yeah, I can."

I gave her a cautious smile. "Is it because of Leo?"

"Well that's debateable…" She laughed. "I'll admit that since being with him I am able to fall into a trance again, but trying to sleep with Leo in the room is practically impossible. He says he wants to stay with me, but he can't help getting bored and fidgeting. You have no idea how difficult it is to fall into a trance when there is someone lying beside you playing with your hair, or nuzzling your throat, or watching intently to see if you move."

This made me smile. "You should talk to Jake. He says that's what I do."

She buttoned her shorts. "I don't really mind. I like having him there, and if I really want some peace and quiet he leaves me alone."

"How are you finding life in San Francisco?

"Really good." Katherine grinned and climbed into her bed, speaking in an undertone. "You know, I was really worried if Hal would actually want me there. I'd never met him before, and I appeared on his doorstep and demanded to live at his house."

"Demanded…?" I eyed her jokingly and plumped my pillow.

"Well, _Leo_ demanded it," she gave a wry smile. "But you know what I mean. Anyway, I would have understood if he hadn't been too pleased, especially since Leo dumped a roomful of his papers in the basement to make space for me. But Hal's been so kind and welcoming, I just can't believe it. They've both made it clear that it's my home too, that I'm part of the family…" Katherine took a shaky breath and smiled. "And you know… it really feels true."

I couldn't imagine what that acceptance meant to her, after so many decades travelling alone. No wonder she looked so emotional.

"Oh, Katherine… I'm so happy for you."

"Thanks, that means a lot."

While she lay down and got comfortable, I had a sudden thought.

"So, does Leo still track?" I asked quietly.

Katherine glanced towards me. "Yeah, he does."

I considered the danger of her mate's lifestyle. "Does it bother you?"

She shook her head. "Not really. He's only been on a couple of hunts since we got back from the Arctic, and they were very short. "

"Don't you worry that he's in danger?"

"Sure I do, but I can see he's trying to cut back a little. He tries not to take too many risks and he doesn't leave me for too long." She chuckled, adding in a whisper. "That's probably because of what happened the first time he went away. Leo was only gone for three nights, but one of his old friends stopped by the house while he was out of town.

"This guy, Dante, was definitely a smooth talker, but he was respectful to me. He stayed for a couple of hours, hanging out with Hal and me, and then he left. It was all perfectly above-board. Anyway, Leo arrived home the next day and you should have seen his face when he walked through the door and picked up Dante's scent. He didn't want to admit that it bothered him, but later that day I heard him lecturing Hal about letting a 'womaniser' into the house while was away."

"What was Hal supposed to do?" I giggled. "Slam the door in his friend's face?"

"I suppose so." Katherine smirked. "But I doubt that Leo will want to go on many long trails without me now."

This made me curious. "Would you like to go with him?"

"When I was first turned, I travelled with him while he was tracking. I enjoyed myself and I wouldn't mind doing it again. But he'd probably only take me on the easier ones these days. I can't see Leo letting me tag along if he really thought it was going to be dangerous."

"Doesn't it make you worry?"

Her expression became thoughtful. "Yeah, it does, but I wouldn't ask him to stop tracking. It's who he is, and I don't think he'd be happy without it. I just tell myself that when Leo is hunting down monsters, he is doing the world a service. I try to be grateful for that."

I didn't know if I could be as philosophical as Katherine, if it was Jacob out there. I would probably be a nervous wreck by the end of the first day. But then again, Katherine had lived a very different life to me. She was more hardened to its darker realities, and what she was saying was intrinsically true. Leo had once told me that some of the vampires he'd encountered made the Volturi look civilised. He'd said they were animals. Katherine probably understood that better than I ever could.

"So, what are you doing with your time?" I asked. "Have you found a job or anything like that?"

"I must admit that I haven't got around to it yet. I'm still deciding what I'd like to do, and the last couple of weeks have been dominated by the wedding," she admitted. "I thought I'd wait until after the big day."

"Have you any ideas of what you might like to do?"

"Not really. We're ok for money, so I wouldn't mind doing voluntary work. I would like to get involved in political activism, but the CIA has anti-war groups under such heavy surveillance that it would probably be a bad idea. I really can't afford to be noticed."

"I'm sure you'll find something."

"Yeah, I guess so," Katherine agreed.

I changed the subject and asked her about her wedding plans. Apart from Hal, Jake, Seth and me, the only other guests were Leo's friends Dominica and Brandon.

"We wanted to keep it really small and personal," she explained. "Leo's got about a million friends and acquaintances, but we didn't want to turn the event into a circus by inviting them all. But Leo still really wanted Brandon and Dominica to come along."

I remembered what she'd previously told me about Dominica. I think Katherine had used the word 'bitch' in describing her.

I raised my eyebrows. "Isn't she the girl who caused some trouble between you and Leo?"

And, if I remembered rightly, Dominica was also one of Leo's ex-girlfriends, which made her even less of an ideal wedding guest.

"Yeah." Katherine pulled a face. "I must admit, I don't really like Dominica. If it was left to me, I wouldn't have invited her, but Leo's attached to her. She, Hal and Leo share the same maker, and her mate, Brandon, is one of Leo's closest friends. They all go way back." She gave me a serious look. "It's more than that though. Leo sympathised with my feelings, but he wanted to invite them anyway and, to be honest, he was probably right."

"How come?"

"Brandon runs California's dominant coven, he controls a huge amount of territory. He and Dominica are a genuine vampire power couple, and Leo believes that it will put me in a safer position if our relationship has been publicly acknowledged and approved by them, especially since I'm a vegetarian."

"Ok." I nodded. "I see where he's coming from."

"It's important to him too. Leo's very loyal in his friendships, so if I make an effort to get along with those two, it will mean a lot to him. That makes it worth the trouble, as far as I'm concerned."

"You're being nicer than most people would be." I smiled.

Katherine chuckled. "I don't think so. I wanted a human wedding, and inviting guests and family who don't really get along will only make the day feel more authentic."

I snuggled under my covers and murmured contentedly. "Then I guess it's lucky you invited some shapeshifters too."

The last thing I remembered before falling asleep was the sound of Katherine's low laugh.

I awoke early the next morning, ready with my long list of things to do. The wedding was due to take place in the afternoon. After a busy morning, I had a quiet lunch with Jake and Seth and then returned to my room, to get changed into my wedding outfit and help Katherine prepare for the main event.

Having lived through Marie's extravagant nuptials, Katherine's modest plans made a pleasant change. For instance, it took Marie nearly three months to select her wedding flowers. But Katherine's reaction to the fact that the hotel florist hadn't yet delivered our bouquets and her headpiece was to warn me that I might need to commandeer some blooms from the vase in the hallway.

"I doubt anyone would notice." She grinned and waved her hand towards the balcony. "And we could pull a few twigs off one of those trees, just to bulk it out."

I fastened the buttons of my pink dress and smiled. "I'm glad you're being so philosophical about it."

"Trust me, when you're marrying the west coast's foremost tracker, and your wedding guests are vampires, wolves and a high-strung hybrid," she threw me a teasing smile. "The last thing you're worrying about is a bunch of flowers."

"Good point."

"Anyway," she added optimistically. "You know what they say, 'a watched pot never boils'. So, with that in mind, I'm going to take a shower, and maybe the bouquets will miraculously appear while I'm in the bathroom."

The flowers didn't arrive while she was in the shower, but Katherine wasn't bothered. She reappeared twenty minutes later in a fluffy hotel robe and hurried to the wardrobe. She pulled out her wedding dress.

"What do you think?" She asked nervously, unzipping its cover. "Is it too simple?"

I gazed admiringly at the delicate garment. "No, it's not too simple. I think it's lovely."

Her face broke into a wide smile. "Well, that's a relief."

"Where did you get it?"

"In a store that makes one-off vintage 'creations'. It reminded me of a dress I wore in the sixties, so I guess I was having a nostalgic moment when I bought it."

"Whatever the reason, I think you made the right choice." I stepped forward and touched the gauzy white cotton.

We were interrupted by the bedside phone ringing. The call was from the front desk, saying that the flowers had finally appeared, and so I left Katherine to dry her hair, and I hurried downstairs to collect them.

As well as the bouquets and hairpiece, the florist had delivered buttonholes for the groom and best man. I collected the box and went to find the others. I discovered Leo, Hal, Jake and Seth standing near the terrace doors in the airy hotel lounge, and I carried over the buttonholes.

"Hi, everyone."

Jacob looked suitably impressed when he caught sight of my new dress. He slipped an arm around my waist and kissed my cheek. "You look beautiful."

"You don't look so bad yourself." I smiled at the compliment, and then glanced around the group. "Actually, you all look amazing."

This was true. The guys looked very impressive. They were all well over six foot, with supernaturally good physiques, and so it shouldn't have been a surprise that they wore their suits with such style. To be honest, they looked like something out of a photo-shoot. The wolves oozed animal grace, and Hal with his pale, statuesque features, looked distinguished and interesting. But the real stand-out of the day was Leo.

I already knew that he was a very handsome man, but I had never seen him in formal clothes before. He was wearing an elegant, perfectly fitting, grey suit, burgundy silk tie and crisp white shirt. He looked as if he should be on the cover of a magazine, or a twenty foot billboard.

"Wow." I gaped. "Leo, that suit looks fantastic."

He grimaced and tugged his collar. "How do people relax in these things?"

"That's why everyone drinks champagne after a wedding," said Jake cheerfully. "So they can loosen up in their wedding clothes."

"That's ok for you, but that doesn't do me much good." Leo rolled his muscular shoulders, in an effort to get comfortable.

"Don't worry." I smiled. "Your sacrifice will be worth it. Katherine is going to be blown away when she sees you."

He perked up at the mention of Katherine's name. "How's she doing? Is she nervous?"

"No, she's cool. But I'd better get back to her with these." I held up the box of flowers. "She'll be wondering what's taking so long."

As we discussed the final arrangements for the ceremony, I happened to glance towards the doorway and caught sight of two unfamiliar vampires, a man and a woman, entering the hotel foyer. Just for a moment I was afraid. I'd been suspicious of strangers since my experiences in Denali, and my fear must have shown on my face, because Leo quickly glanced over his shoulder, towards the entrance.

"Hey." He beamed, catching sight of the new arrivals. "I was wondering when these two were going to show up."

His words made me feel silly for being frightened. I should have remembered that his friends, Brandon and Dominica, had been invited to the ceremony. Thankfully, no one noticed my embarrassment; all eyes were on the newcomers.

At the sound of Leo's voice, they both looked towards us, and all thought of embarrassment flew right out of my head. The male was huge, but I hardly noticed him. My whole attention was focused on the exquisite girl at his side. I had seen some vampire lookers in my time; Aunt Rose being one of the most notable, but Dominica was truly the most strikingly beautiful person that I had ever encountered.

She couldn't have been more than seventeen when she was turned. Her figure was slender, graceful and perfectly proportioned, and she appeared infinitely dainty compared to the massive male at her side. But it was a testimony to her outstanding beauty that those positive physical attributes paled in comparison with her face.

This was a perfect oval, with impeccably formed features, a neat nose, pouting ruby lips and the most elegantly arched eyebrows that I had ever seen. Their perfection was accentuated by colouring which could only be described as spectacular; pure white skin, which somehow still glowed with youthful radiance, and thick hair, so black that its lustre was almost blue.

Long, dark lashes framed a pair of almond shaped eyes, and she must have been wearing contacts to hide the red, because those eyes shone a deep shade of violet, enhancing their exotic appearance. Her hair was pinned into an elaborate Roman style, with coils circling her head and thick ringlets cascading down her back. Her dress was equally flattering; layers of lilac chiffon enfolding her form in a classical design.

The finishing touch to this vision of perfection was the matching set of diamonds she wore at her wrists and throat. Cuffs and a collar encrusted with enormous gems that must have cost a king's ransom and sparkled as if they were on fire.

She paused in the doorway and surveyed the room, her regal little head held high and a small smile curling her lips, as if she was fully aware that everyone present had fallen silent at the very sight of her. Giving her mate a sideways glance from under those long lashes, she placed a hand on his arm and gazed at him expectantly.

I tore my eyes away from the beauty towards her mate, Brandon. He was a good looking guy, big and burly, with dark hair and a heavy brow, and dressed in an expensive suit. He smiled indulgently, before leading her across the elegant lounge. As approached us, their body language was completely relaxed and confident. Katherine was right when she described them as a vampire 'power couple'. They oozed strength and authority. I could almost feel the hairs rising on the back of my neck.

I glanced at Jake and Seth, but their eyes were fixed on the new arrivals. Their expressions were closed, which led me to assume that they were treating the pair with caution. Hal looked slightly uneasy, but Leo was grinning from ear to ear. He stepped forward to meet them, and Dominica released her mate and ran into his waiting arms.

"Leo," she cried joyfully, as he enfolded her in a bear hug. "It's been too long." Her voice sounded like musical chiming bells, and I detected the hint of an accent.

"It certainly has." Leo kissed her forehead, before pulling back and giving her an appraising smile. "You're still looking good."

"Do you really think so?"

She raised her beautiful face and gave him an absolutely breath-taking smile, the kind that would reduce the average man to a speechless, drooling mess. Leo just laughed and hugged her again.

"Of course I do. It's good to see you, angel."

"It's good to see you too. I missed you, Leo."

"Are you kidding? Last time you saw me, you threw a chair at my head and told me never to come back…"

She gave a pouty frown and only succeeded in looking adorable. "You _know_ I didn't really mean it."

"That's a relief." He grinned cheerfully, and turned to her mate and shook his hand. "Hey man, glad you could make it. Thanks for coming."

"We wouldn't miss this." His friend smiled, returning the warm handshake. "The guys sent their best wishes. No one can believe you're getting married."

I wasn't sure how Leo would take this remark, but he just chuckled. "I know, I guess one of us had to give it a try."

"Yeah, a human wedding. It's totally surreal."

"You never know, maybe it will catch on."

"That reminds me…" the big vampire replied, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small parcel. "Althea sent you a wedding present."

Leo glanced up sharply. "You've seen her."

"Yeah, she came home a couple of months ago."

"How is she?" There was a note of concern in his voice.

"Althea's great, she's in our territory again. She's looking good…"

"And she's got a mate," interrupted Dominica, with a knowing smile.

"What?!" Leo looked astounded, glancing from one to the other. "Are you serious?"

Dominica nodded. "I know it's hard to believe. No one was ever good enough for her, right?"

"So, who's the guy?"

"You probably haven't met him. His name's Connor; he's one of my new enforcers. He crossed our territory not long after Johnny was killed," explained Brandon. "He's young, he was only turned a couple of years ago, but he's determined. We were short, and I gave him a chance. He's turning out pretty good. I think he's got potential to go all the way; he's a stubborn son of a bitch.

"That's how he got Althea in the first place. When she came back, she visited us at the villa. Connor was with us at the time. Althea hadn't been around for months, so he'd never met her before, and when she walked through the door, he took one look at her and that was it. He fell hard. It was obvious that, as far as he was concerned, Althea was the one."

Brandon's face broke into a wide smile as he added. "At first she wasn't interested. She wouldn't give him the time of day, but he refused take 'no' for an answer. Every time she put him down, he just came back that bit more determined that she belonged to him. I guess one day he finally convinced her that he was right." He chuckled, shaking his head and handing Leo the gift. "I'm glad he did, they seem really happy together."

Dominica smirked. "I guess that's why she wanted to send you a wedding present, she's 'feeling the love' right now."

Leo listened to them with a thoughtful expression. This final comment made him smile. He seemed pleased and relieved as he clasped the parcel in his large hand.

"Send her my love," he said. "And tell her 'thanks'. I'll come visit her soon."

"We'll tell her." Brandon nodded and glanced around the group. "So… aren't you going to introduce us?"

"Sorry," Leo smiled and quickly made the introductions.

Brandon and Dominica already knew Hal, and it seemed that Leo had already warned them that Jake and Seth were shapeshifters, and I was a hybrid. Brandon shook my hand and greeted me in a very friendly way, instantly making me feel at ease. He seemed to have the same effect on Seth and Jake. Neither was naturally comfortable in the company of unreformed vampires, but they both seemed to relax when they met Brandon.

Dominica wasn't quite as easy-going as her mate. When she shook hands with the wolves, I noticed her little nose wrinkling in barely concealed distaste. She refrained from making any 'wet dog' comments, but I could tell that they were on the tip of her tongue. I was proud that Seth and Jake managed to be so impeccably polite to her; especially since _her_ scent must been burning their noses.

When she finally turned to me, her violet eyes were curious. She looked me up and down and tilted her head questioningly. "You're half human?"

I gritted my teeth and smiled, determined not to have an argument with one of Katherine's wedding guests. "That's right."

Dominica appeared impervious to my mood and raised a cool eyebrow. "Yes… you really are rather pretty."

"Oh…"

I hadn't been expecting this strange, speculative compliment, and before I could think of a suitable reply, Dominica had turned to speak to Hal. She moved with a kind of queenly detachment, making it quite clear that my audience was over. I felt as if I'd been given the royal seal of approval and a stately dismissal in one fell swoop.

I wasn't entirely sure how to take it, but luckily I caught sight of Jake from the corner of my eye. He looked almost as stunned as me, and my sense of humour kicked in. I nudged him and exchanged a sly grin behind her back.

A few minutes later, I made my escape and hurried upstairs. Katherine was waiting for me. She must have heard every word of the conversation downstairs.

"So, Leo's friends are here," she said, deliberately keeping her tone neutral, in case we were overheard. "That's nice."

The look on her face said it all, and I had to smother a fit of the giggles. When I finally got my laughter under control, I whispered.

"She's very beautiful…"

Katherine gave a dry smile. "I know."

"She's kind of…" I petered out, unable to find the appropriate words.

Katherine seemed to understand, nodding emphatically. "I _know_."

I laughed and turned my mind to the more enjoyable task of unwrapping flowers. While I was doing this, Katherine got changed into her wedding clothes. Her dress really did look beautiful. The design was simple, but very pretty. A plain cotton underdress, made of a white slip with thin straps, covered by a second layer of very fine, gossamer cotton, embroidered with delicate white flowers. The dress suited her tall form, moulding to her torso before falling to her calves in soft folds.

Katherine wore her hair loose, adorned with a winding wreath of white flowers. She looked graceful and ethereal, and I suddenly understood why she joked about having a nostalgic moment when she chose her wedding dress. She really did look like the perfect flower child, beautiful and natural; a genuine free spirit.

"You look amazing," I said admiringly, adjusting the flowers on her curly head. "I love your dress, it really suits you."

She slipped her feet into a pair of delicately embroidered white shoes, and grinned. "If I was attempting a truly authentic sixties look, I'd go barefoot."

"You should try it." I joked. "The soles of your feet are tough enough."

"Don't tempt me," Katherine gave a short laugh. "It would be worth it just to see the confused look on Leo's face."

The ceremony itself was a fairly simple affair. Leo had booked a minister for four in the afternoon – a time which Aunt Alice had faithfully promised would be cloudy. The minister, groom and guests arrived at the beach before Katherine and me. We followed slightly later to meet them on the shore.

I didn't know the Californian coast very well, but what I had seen had already made a very strong impression on me. Point Lobos was no exception. We followed a narrow path down to the sea, winding through the rocks and fir trees, breathing in the salty air.

When we finally stepped out of the trees, we found ourselves on a long strip of sand, which extended a mile or so to a rocky beach head. It was very striking place, open and untamed. This impression was exacerbated by the autumnal weather. Heavy waves rolled up the beach, and a blustering wind blew in from the sea. The sand was almost deserted, except for the wedding party. The threat of a storm must have kept the visitors away.

I thought it was an unlikely place for a wedding ceremony, given the time of year, but when I glanced at the couple, their choice suddenly seemed surprisingly fitting; the beach mirrored the touch of wildness that defined their relationship.

They came together, before the minister, and a light gust of wind circled them. Katherine's dress fluttered around her knees and a wave of hair swept loose from her wreath of flowers and tumbled across her brow. Leo leaned forward and gently brushed it away, pausing for a moment, to gaze admiringly at his beautiful bride. She smiled tenderly and took his hands, as the minister began to speak.

When they repeated the time-honoured vows of loyalty and love, I glanced around the assembled company. By any standard, the guests were an eye-catching group. Every one of them would have stood out in a crowd, and I noticed that even the minister looked a little awed. But on this occasion, Katherine and Leo reigned supreme.

As they gazed into each other's eyes, I could feel the love emanating from them, a tangible force, compelling and unchanging, borne of sacrifice and endurance. A strong wave of emotion rolled over me, making my heart ache. I could see that I wasn't the only person who was affected. Seth was wearing a nostalgic expression – probably reminiscing about his own wedding – and Dominica and Brandon leaned together, looking solemn and thoughtful.

I squeezed Jacob's hand and he glanced down at me with a fond smile. I hadn't even realised that my eyes were wet until he reached into his pocket and handed me a Kleenex. I smiled gratefully and wiped my eyes and blew my nose.

The ceremony was short, but very touching, and I was still dabbing away the tears when the minister finally pronounced them husband and wife.

At that moment it was clear that neither Leo nor Katherine were remotely aware of their surroundings. They could have been completely alone by the way they gazed at each other. Leo stepped forward and lifted her chin. He drew her into a tender kiss and when they broke apart, he looked into her eyes and spoke so quietly that I could barely catch the words.

"That's how it should have been."

Katherine's eyes never left his face as she replied in a low voice. "I know."

She smiled and lifted her hand to Leo's cheek, and he took her by surprise by catching her in his arms and hugging her tightly.

"Thank you," he said, kissing her again.

She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him right back. They were only brought out of their romantic reverie, when the minister moved forward to congratulate them, at which point Leo laughed and Katherine looked a little self-conscious. Everyone else joined in the congratulations and the newlyweds seemed very pleased. To be honest, Leo looked as if he might burst with pride. He rivalled any of the imprinted wolves on their wedding days.

That idea instantly made me picture how Jacob might look on his wedding day, which led me to wonder if that day would ever come. We hadn't spoken of marriage since before our harrowing trip to Alaska, and I was starting to question if he'd gone off the idea.

I was surprised by the feeling of dissatisfaction that suddenly came over me, and I felt ashamed that someone else's big day had produced an envious reaction in me. It seemed rather mean-spirited. After all, no one could accuse Katherine and Leo of having it easy.

With that thought, I forced the petty discontent from my mind and turned my energy to the more positive task of enjoying the wedding reception.

Much like the ceremony, Katherine and Leo had kept the celebration afterwards simple. The wedding cars drove us all to a lovely restaurant in Carmel, where they had booked a table and cunningly organised a buffet, rather than a sit-down meal, allowing the wolves to disguise the non-existent consumption of the vampires.

The venue was very warm and atmospheric, with a rustic flavour. The seating area meandered through several rooms, and there was a well-stocked bar and small dance floor near our table. All the guests were in a good mood and, considering that half of them weren't even interested in the food or drink, the atmosphere was genuinely convivial.

During the meal, I sat with Jacob on one side and Brandon on the other. Jake was absorbed in conversation with Katherine and Seth, and I found myself chatting to Brandon. My favourable first impression of him was confirmed as we talked. His predatory side was still present, I could feel it lurking in the background, but I still found myself warming to him. He was somehow very likeable and funny, and I could entirely see why Leo was on good terms with him. Even Jake and Seth seemed to quite like him, which was even more surprising.

The restaurant must have been popular, because as the evening progressed it became increasingly busy. Our table attracted a fair amount of attention from the other clientele. A wedding party was always likely to become a focal point, but when the guests were eye-catching supernaturals that interest was a foregone conclusion. And it was really no surprise that most of the room was watching when the music started playing and Leo stood up and took Katherine's hand.

"What do you know?" He smirked. "They're playing our song."

"Leo, we don't have a song."

"We do now." He swiftly pulled her to her feet. "Anyway," he added. "We haven't had our first dance."

It was obvious that there was no changing his mind, so Katherine didn't even try. She allowed herself to be led onto the empty dance floor and smoothly drawn into his arms, before a roomful of curious spectators.

Unsurprisingly, when it came to the actual dance, they both moved very gracefully and were completely in time with the music. Vampires were born to be great partner dancers, and Katherine and Leo were no exception. They looked as if they'd been made for each other. You'd have to go a long way to see a first dance of that quality, there wasn't an awkward shuffle in sight. And glancing around the room, I noticed that all eyes were glued to the couple.

Dominica, who was sitting on the other side of Brandon, gave a small sigh. Her mate instantly noticed.

"Are you ok?" He looked concerned.

She tore her eyes away from Leo and Katherine, and answered wistfully. "It's nothing…"

Of course, Brandon took the bait. "Come on, baby," he said persuasively. "I can tell there's something wrong. Whatever it is, I can fix it."

"Well…" She put up some token resistance. "It's just… I was thinking that Leo and Katherine have had a really nice day…"

"And…"

She glanced at him from under her lashes. "I was thinking that _I'd_ like to have a wedding too."

"Oh…" Brandon looked genuinely stunned. "Really?"

"Yes," she said enthusiastically. "Wouldn't you?"

"Well, baby… I hadn't really thought about it."

Dominica lifted her chin, and her expression suddenly became terrifyingly determined. "Why not?" She demanded. I didn't know that a musical chiming voice could sound so belligerent. "Don't you _want_ to marry me?"

Beside me I heard Jacob choke on his champagne, but I didn't look at him, all my attention was riveted on the power couple's power struggle.

Brandon quickly tried to regain lost ground. "Come on, sweetheart. We're already mated."

"Oh…" She glowered. "So I'm good enough to mate, but not to marry? Is _that_ it?"

He tried to be practical. "No, but our kind don't generally bother with weddings. And you've never mentioned it before."

"How convenient for you!"

"Come on, don't be like that," he protested. "You know how I feel about you, Dominica."

Then, with a masterful change of tactics, Dominica's bottom lip began to tremble, and her expression suddenly became so tragic, that even I felt the urge to comfort her. I could almost visualise real tears swimming in those violet eyes.

"I thought I did…" she whispered miserably, biting her trembling lip and glancing away.

Brandon was utterly undone. He caught her tiny hands in his, saying remorsefully. "Don't cry, baby. I didn't realise that getting married was so important to you, of course we can have a wedding if you really want one."

He could hardly be blamed for not knowing that getting married was important to his mate. It was absolutely obvious that the idea had only just occurred to her.

She peeked up at him. "Really…?"

"Really," he assured her.

Dominica's face was instantly wreathed in smiles. All thought of tears was forgotten and she allowed herself to be gathered into Brandon's arms. He kissed her and pulled her onto his lap, where she remained, looking like the extremely pretty cat that had just got the cream.

By this point, the first song had ended. Leo and Katherine stayed on the dance floor, and Jake asked me if I'd like to join them. A number of human couples also made their way onto the small dance floor, inspired by the newlyweds' skilled display. The atmosphere was festive and we kept dancing for a while, enjoying the fact that, for once in our lives, we were free of interruptions from unruly young wolves.

I was worried that Seth might feel left out, since Marie was absent, but fortunately he had struck up a conversation with Hal, and neither of them looked particularly interested in dancing. Brandon and Dominica did not dance, and I suspected that this was to avoid human temptation, rather than because they didn't enjoy it.

This theory was reinforced later on that evening, when I heard Dominica complaining to her mate that she was hungry. He answered quietly.

"You ate yesterday."

"I know, but my throat is _burning_…"

"You were prepared for this, baby."

"I didn't realise it was going to be this bad." Her tone was plaintive, and her eyes began to scan the crowd.

I started to feel extremely uneasy. It was one thing to spend half a day with normal vampires – under special circumstances – but I couldn't imagine that Jake, Seth or Katherine would turn a blind eye if Dominica picked up a victim in the restaurant.

She caught sight of a group of young men, who were drinking at the bar. Unsurprisingly, several of them were already furtively watching her. My jaw dropped as she threw one of them a glance. I had never seen anything quite like it. With just one look, she gave her unfortunate victim the promise of a million hidden pleasures and instantly brought him under her spell.

She may as well have just whistled to him. He rose from his bar stool, as if on command, with all the appearance of a man who was going to just charge across the dance floor towards her. He was so enthralled that he seemed entirely blind to the fact that the huge and scary-looking man by her side was actually her boyfriend.

Thankfully, Brandon appeared to have the situation under control.

"Remember," he said coolly. "You promised Leo."

"Oh…"

I half expected Dominica to challenge her mate, but although she seemed slightly perturbed, she didn't interfere when Brandon put an end to the hunt by throwing a ferocious scowl at her intended victim. The poor guy froze where he stood, looking like someone who'd just woken from a blissful dream into a nightmare, and both Dominica and Brandon turned away from him, as if he no longer existed.

I breathed a sigh of relief that I was not about to witness a wedding party showdown between the wolves and vampires, and when I exchanged looks with Jake, I could tell that he was thinking the same thing.

When the post wedding celebrations finally wound down, we all returned to the hotel. Dominica and Brandon intended to drive home, while Seth, Jake, Hal and I planned to stay in hotel for one more night. Katherine and Leo were leaving for their honeymoon right away.

Typically, their honeymoon wasn't going to be what most people would envisage as either romantic or fun. They planned to go hunting in the Californian forests. Hal had very kindly promised to take their suitcases home to San Francisco, and so all they needed were backpacks. They changed clothes and reappeared half an hour later, looking ready for action in walking boots and outdoor gear.

Dominica and Brandon had waited to see them off, and when Dominica caught sight of Katherine's attire, she looked rather unimpressed. Maybe she thought that Katherine should trek through the forest in diamonds and a cocktail dress. But luckily, she didn't say so, and everyone remained on good terms as they parted.

Leo's expression was unexpectedly serious when he said goodbye to me. "Thanks for finding Kathy, Red. I owe you." He kissed my cheek and added. "We'll call you when we get back, and maybe you and Jake could come down and visit us sometime."

"That would be great."

Before I could say more, Katherine hurried forward and hugged me. "Thanks for coming." She smiled. "And thanks for everything you've done for Leo and me. We'll never forget it."

"Don't be silly." I squeezed her back. "I owe you guys my life."

"Well, I don't know about that… but I do know that none of this could have happened without you."

"Just make sure that you have a good trip."

"I'll try, though I can't guarantee what will happen if Leo suddenly crosses an 'interesting' trail."

Leo caught this remark and grinned. "Well, we all have our little weaknesses."

"True," she admitted fairly, before asking him. "Are you ready to get going?"

"Sure."

He said a few last words to Hal, before taking Katherine's hand and leading her down the driveway towards the darkened road. Just as they disappeared into the night, they turned and waved a happy goodbye.

Once they were out of sight, Brandon pulled his car keys out of his pocket and turned to Dominica. "I guess we should get going too."

She wrapped her expensive fur coat around herself and gave him an enchanting smile. "That sounds like a great idea."

They were both polite with their goodbyes, though Brandon's was considerably warmer. When he said that we'd all be welcome to visit their home, he sounded as if he actually meant it, but when Dominica added that their coven would be interested to meet me, I had the mental picture of myself being paraded in front of her friends, like a Victorian freak show.

I sighed with relief when she finally drove away. I had the feeling that Dominica could only be tolerated in very small doses, and I was proud to have survived the encounter without having had an argument. To be honest, I couldn't understand how Brandon could put up with her.

After they left, Hal, Seth and I turned in for the night. Jake was sharing my room, and I we were both half-asleep by the time we reached the door. As we stumbled into the room, Jake gave a wide yawn.

"I'm beat." He rubbed his eyes. "What time is it?"

"It's only eleven thirty."

"I thought it was later," he said, crossing the room to close the curtains. "I feel so tired."

"It's been a long day." I locked the door and kicked off my shoes.

"Weddings are exhausting." Jacob sat down on my bed and chuckled. "That poor guy, Brandon, he has no idea what he's in for. I can't imagine what kind of extravaganza his mate will plan. Well, at least we won't be invited to that one."

"I guess not."

I sat down beside him and rested my head on his shoulder. Jacob kissed my hair and put his arm around me.

"I must admit," he said. "It was a great day, but I've had enough weddings to last me a lifetime. I'll be happy not to go to another for a long, long time."

I glanced up sharply. I wasn't entirely pleased to hear this. Wasn't Jacob interested in a wedding of his own? Jake remained blissfully unaware of my feelings and kissed me again, adding breezily.

"I guess we don't have to worry about that right now. No one else we know is getting married."

As I heard these words a chill entered my heart. "Oh…"

Jacob glanced around, finally noticing that something was wrong. "Honey, are you ok?"

What was I going to say? That I was upset because he wasn't already planning our wedding? That it bothered me he was so uninterested in marriage?

I knew that to tell Jake my thoughts would only make me sound foolish or, worse still, clingy, and so I smiled briefly.

"I'm fine." I faked a yawn. "I'm just a little tired."

"I'm not surprised; you've had a busy day." He kissed me again, and rose to his feet. "I'm going to bed."

I stood up. "Me too."

We pushed the twin beds together and got ready to go to sleep. Jacob took Katherine's bed. He was pleased that the hotel had changed the bedclothes; he didn't particularly want to spend the night wrapped in the smell of vampire. He was in bed before me and by the time I came out of the bathroom, he was almost asleep. I crept into bed, careful not to disturb him, and turned out the light.

I lay in the darkness, listening to the waves outside. Their steady rhythm lulled me, and I could feel myself balancing on the edge of sleep. But sleep didn't come as quickly as I wanted it to. A tiny voice in the back of my mind kept me awake for quite some time. A voice that questioned what Jacob was waiting for.

Destiny had brought us together. I was his imprint and he said he loved me. He'd made it pretty clear that when he looked into the future, all he could see was me, and I felt just the same way about him. Besides which, I was now eighteen. We both had jobs and our finances weren't in bad shape. The pack had given their blessing to our relationship and I was speaking to my family again. Technically speaking, there was absolutely nothing standing in our way.

So _why_ hadn't Jacob asked me to marry him?

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

**Hi there, I can't believe I got this posted in time *phew*!**

**Thanks for the recent list additions and the very nice messages that I received. They made me feel very pleased :)**

**Well, there's only one more chapter to go. It still shocks me to think that I originally envisaged this story to be about 35 chapters (estimation clearly isn't my strong point). Anyway, I will post the final chapter before Christmas. Checking my calendar, I think that the 21st of December is a realistic date to post (and quite festive too, for a final chapter!). Also, Christmas always has a way of rushing round far more quickly than I'm expecting, so that's what I'm going to aim for.**

**Thanks for reading, have a great few weeks,**

**Mad :)**


	75. The future

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

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><p><strong>Thank you to willowbae, who has helped me with every single chapter of this story. She is THE BEST! :)<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 75.<strong>

**Nessie - the future**

The weeks passed quickly after Katherine's Californian wedding, and Thanksgiving was upon me before I knew it. I spent the holiday with my family in Illinois. Things went pretty well, because we all made a concerted effort to put the past behind us and get along.

I brought them some lovely photos of Seth's wedding, and they put together a special Thanksgiving dinner just for me, which was a beautifully arranged, gourmet meal for one. I had the distinct impression that almost every member of the family had helped prepare it. The whole family sat around the large dining room table and chatted happily while I ate. Aunt Alice had taken a great deal of trouble with the festive table decorations and the atmosphere was really pleasant as I worked my way through my dinner.

My family all wanted to know how things were going with my job, which was quite funny, since there wasn't very much to say about Forks Police Department filing system, but I was touched by their sincere interest. Grandma Esme was especially impressed when I described my re-alphabetization. She said it sounded very clever and well-organized.

I was also pleased that they asked about Jake without a hint of resentment. It certainly made my life easier not to be reminded that I was caught in the middle of a supernatural feud.

The tensions, which had been flowing through my family since Uncle Jasper's slip, had also eased a little. I knew that it would take time for all of us to completely heal, but we were definitely moving in the right direction. Even Uncle Jasper seemed a little happier. He was still more subdued than he used to be, but he did smile sometimes too, and I could tell that Aunt Alice no longer felt so worried about him.

I missed Jake very badly while I was in Illinois. We had never been apart for Thanksgiving before, and my eagerness to see him lessened my sadness when I left my family at the airport. I still shed a few tears though, because I knew that I wasn't going to see them at Christmas. They reminded me that we were going to spend the New Year together, which did make me feel marginally better.

It was no surprise – given the number of people travelling home after Thanksgiving – that my flight was delayed for hours. I'd known that Jake was planning a busy Thanksgiving with his family, so I'd left my car at Sea Tac, ready to drive myself home. This turned out to be very a sensible idea, since my flight was late. I drove myself back to Forks and Jake escaped a long and boring wait at the airport.

He wanted to meet me at Grandpa's house, but once I realised how late I might be, I put him off the idea and persuaded him to get some rest and visit me in the morning instead. I could tell that he was torn, but in the end he saw sense and agreed to my plan. I think it helped that he'd had a long and exhausting weekend.

My predictions were right and I didn't reach Forks until well past midnight. The house was quiet when I arrived; Grandpa and Sue had already gone to bed, because I'd called ahead and warned them not to bother waiting up for me.

I entered the house quietly and crept up to my room. My little bedroom seemed a lonely place when I turned on the bedside lamp. I missed Jacob, and wished that I hadn't been quite so adamant when saying that our reunion could wait until the morning.

I put down my bag with a desolate sigh and stood in the middle of the room, feeling sorry for myself. The thought of spending a long night alone was hard to face. But then I gave myself a mental shake and remembered that I didn't have to face it. There was nothing to stop me from visiting Jacob right away.

With this thought in mind, I hurried to my wardrobe to find my running clothes and shoes. I got changed in record time, wrote a note for Grandpa and left the house. I didn't call Jake to tell him that I was coming, I wanted to surprise him.

I headed straight into the woods, behind the house. The forest was immersed in darkness and the ground was damp underfoot, but my heart was light as I ran. I set myself a fast pace, moving silently between the trees, and I scarcely noticed the miles slipping away. All I could think of was Jacob.

As I neared the reservation, I listened out for the wolves, but I heard nothing. No one was patrolling that night. When I reached Jacob's house, I raced out of the forest and up the front steps.

"Jake!" I called, banging on the front door, not caring that it was two in the morning. "Jacob, wake up, it's me!"

A second later the door was yanked open and before I could say a word, I was caught in a crushing embrace.

"Nessie!" Jake swept me off my feet and carried me into the house. "I can't believe you're here."

He hugged me tight and I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"I had to come." I said dramatically, sounding rather like someone in a daytime soap. "I couldn't wait another moment."

Jake seemed pleased. "Now, that's what I like to hear."

"So you don't mind being woken up in the middle of the night?" I peeked out from under my lashes and met his heated gaze.

"Do I look like I mind?" He grinned, turning on his heel and carrying me off to the bedroom.

He kicked the door closed behind us and tossed me onto the bed.

I glanced up and smiled. "I guess this is one way to say 'welcome back'."

I barely had time to kick off my running shoes, before Jacob moved over me, pinning me under his big body. He stared deep into my eyes.

"No, it's the way to say 'welcome home'."

He lowered his head and captured my lips in a searing kiss. I ran my fingers along his muscular shoulders, enjoying the smooth feel of his body, before slipping my arms around his neck and pulling him close.

"I love you, Jake."

"I love you too. So much…" he murmured, removing my jacket. "So, so much…"

And, happily for me, he spent the next two hours proving it.

When I finally curled up against his side to sleep, I was so exhausted that I thought I'd fall into a deep and undisturbed sleep. But that night, instead of the tranquillity I'd expected, my dreams were so vivid that they almost seemed real…

_I found myself standing in a quiet glade in the forest. I turned in a slow circle, studying my surroundings. The light was dim, the day was fading and the sky was so overcast that no sunlight filtered through. I could smell a storm approaching. _

_I breathed in the damp air, drawing in the heavy aroma of pine, and without warning my heart was filled with an overwhelming sense of longing. I felt as if I had been waiting for years, but I had absolutely no idea of what I'd been waiting for. I stood, feeling strangely lost, when a sudden flash of white, moving through the trees some distance away, caught my eye. _

_I didn't know what drew me so strongly, but I was instantly compelled to follow. Before I knew it, I was flying through the forest in hot pursuit. I ran as fast as I could, my feet barely touching the damp ground as I flitted between the trees, trying to catch the white shadow. _

_I caught brief glimpses of my quarry. But however fast I ran, it was always out of reach, darting through the undergrowth ahead of me. My muscles screamed in protest and my heart felt as if it was going to hammer out of my chest, but I couldn't stop. My desire to follow was too strong. I had to find it. I had waited too long to let it go._

_The ground grew steeper and I clambered up the rocky embankments, covering myself in dirt and mud as I climbed. I looked ahead and, to my distress, the white shadow wasn't getting any closer. It was moving further and further out of reach, disappearing from view. I couldn't run fast enough to keep up. Despite my best efforts, it wasn't long before the shadow was completely out of sight. _

_I was about to give up in despair, when I heard the sound of the ocean. I glanced around me and realised that the place was familiar. I realised that I was close to the cliffs. This gave me a fresh sense of hope, and I followed the sound of the waves in a final attempt to catch the shadow. With one last burst of speed I threw myself towards the cliff, praying that I would find what I was looking for. _

_"Wait…!" I cried. "Wait for me… don't go… please…" _

_I broke out of the trees onto a familiar ledge. I had dived there many times before. My hopes were crushed as I found myself alone. _

_There was nothing there, just the sea and the sky. I was too late…_

And then I woke up.

I opened my eyes and found myself in Jacob's bed. I was completely disoriented. My dream was so real that it took me a second to understand that I'd only been sleeping.

I hadn't been in the forest. I hadn't chased a shadow. I had been in Jake's room all along.

I sat up quietly and took a deep breath. The emotions that I'd felt on the cliff edge were still with me; a terrible sadness that I hadn't found what I was looking for. I had been so close, but I had missed my chance.

I stayed in bed for a few minutes, trying to clear my head, but that didn't really work. I glanced at the window. The light coming through the curtains showed that daybreak was approaching fast, so I decided to go outside and get some air.

Jacob lay sound asleep beside me, sprawled across the bed. His breathing remained steady as I slipped out from under the covers and pulled on some clothes. I crept silently out of the house and onto the veranda, and perched myself on the top step to watch the breaking dawn.

The reservation was very peaceful that morning. No one was around; the only sounds were those coming from the forest. The air was chilly but I found it refreshing rather than cold. I leaned against the stair rail and took a bracing breath. The early morning dew was so thick that it billowed out of the trees in a damp mist.

I stayed on my step and enjoyed the magical moment when the horizon was warmed by pink and orange light. It was just what my soul needed. The dawn's raw beauty dispelled my last feelings of sadness. As I watched the birth of a new day, I was filled with certainty that I had nothing to worry about. I just had to have a little faith that my path would be made clear to me.

Just as the sun peeked above the trees, Jacob appeared in the doorway. His eyes were fixed on the sunrise.

"That's pretty."

He was only wearing a pair of shorts, and I assumed that he must have just woken up and followed me outside. He smiled and sat down on the step behind me, putting one leg on either side of my hips and wrapping his arms around my neck. I leaned back against his warm chest and glanced over my shoulder.

"I'm sorry I woke you."

"Don't worry about it." He grinned. "I'm glad I didn't miss this. I often forget how beautiful it is here. It's nice to be reminded sometimes."

"I love the peninsula." I sighed. "I think this is my very favourite place on earth."

As I said the words, I realised that they were absolutely true. Over the years, I had lived in many very interesting and attractive places, but the Olympic Peninsula was where my heart belonged, it was the only place that truly felt like home. La Push, the coast, the forest, Forks, Grandpa's house, the big house, they all meant far more to me than I could ever express.

"I'm glad to hear you feel that way." Jake held me a little closer and kissed my hair. "Because I've got something for you…"

"What's that?" I turned to discover that he was watching me with mischievous smile. "Jake." I eyed him suspiciously. "What's going on?"

He just grinned. "Open my hand."

I glanced down and discovered that one of his hands was closed into a tight fist. I instantly set to work, prying it open. Jacob didn't make it too hard for me. He uncurled his fingers very easily, and when his hand was open I discovered a beautiful ring lying on his palm.

The design was deceptively simple, a golden band, set with a smooth, oval gemstone. The stone was very striking. A pale, transparent orange, flecked with pink and red, just like the sunrise, and it was encircled by delicate diamonds, which sparkled in the morning light.

"Oh…" I gingerly reached out to touch it. I very gently stroked the warm golden band, and glanced up at Jake in awe. "It's lovely. Is it for me?"

His face broke into a wide smile. "Do you think I'd have a ring made for any other girl?"

"You had it made for me?"

"Do you like it? "

"It's amazing…" I brushed the polished gem with the tip of my finger. "What stone is that?"

Jacob picked up the ring. "It's carnelian. I found it on first beach. I was just sitting, thinking about you and I picked up a handful of small pebbles. I glanced down and as soon as I saw this one, I knew that I had to give it to you. It was so pretty, the nicest I'd ever found. I had it polished and set in a ring, so that wherever you went, you would always have a little piece of home to take with you."

A lump formed in my throat. Jacob always knew how to make me happy. "That's so thoughtful."

He just laughed and held out the ring. "So… do you want to try it on?"

I nodded eagerly and held out my hand. Jake slipped the ring onto my third finger, where it fit perfectly. He didn't let go of my hand, he stared at it for a long moment, before raising his dark eyes to my face. His expression was hopeful.

"Marry me, Nessie."

I probably shouldn't have been so surprised – after all, I was already wearing the ring – but I honestly hadn't expected a proposal.

My mouth dropped open and failed to say anything.

I had no words.

Jacob eyed me nervously. "Are you ok, honey?" He rubbed my hand. "I didn't realise that you'd be so shocked. I probably should have waited. I know what _I_ want… but maybe this is all too sudden for you."

These words spurred me into action and I finally managed a reply. What I lacked in eloquence I made up for in enthusiasm. I threw myself into his arms and hugged him tightly.

"Yes! I'll marry you."

"Really?" Jake pulled back so that he could look me in the eye. "Do you mean it?"

"Of course I mean it." I exclaimed. "I thought you'd never ask."

Jake laughed in relief and pulled me onto his lap, and kissed me. "Well you were wrong," he teased. "Don't you feel silly?"

I snuggled into his warm embrace, leaning my head against his shoulder. "No, I'm too busy feeling happy."

He slipped a hand under my jaw and lifted my chin, and I found myself staring into a pair of dark eyes.

"Thank you for saying 'yes.'"

"Has any imprint ever said 'no' to her wolf's proposal?"

"Not that I've heard." He chuckled. "But there's always a first time."

"Not today, there isn't." I assured him, moving my hand into view behind his head, so that I could admire my sparkling new _engagement_ ring.

Jake noticed what I was doing and lifted my arm from around his neck, so that he could see the ring too. He held my hand gently, as if I was very precious and delicate, and pressed soft kisses onto my knuckles.

"I must be the luckiest man alive." He smiled tenderly. "I love you, Nessie."

He looked so happy and proud that I had to kiss him again. "I love you too," I repeated. "Always."

I stayed on his lap and we fell into a comfortable silence, just enjoying the peace and quiet of the new morning. This silence was finally broken by Jacob.

"Well, I guess this is the last bit of calm we can expect," he said. "Once we tell everyone that we're engaged, they'll be no stopping them, especially Alice. You know what she's like when it comes to weddings."

I glanced up uncertainly. I hadn't wanted to spoil the moment by speculating on how to organise a wedding when the groom's family were wolves and the bride's family were vampires… and they weren't speaking to each other.

"Um…" I replied. "I thought that maybe we could keep it small. You know, just you, me and a couple of witnesses, the way that Leo and Katherine did."

"That's a nice idea." He smiled. "But I don't think we'll get away with that. You can bet that Alice has already booked a caterer. You should have heard her in the background, when I called your dad and asked for his blessing."

"What?" I stared at Jake in shock. "Are you serious? You spoke to my dad?"

"I thought that it would be important to you to involve your family."

"I can't believe that you did that…"

"I didn't want to start our married life under a cloud. I wanted everyone to be happy for us. And they are."

After everything that had happened, I knew how much it must have cost Jacob to call my father. And he'd done it for me, because he wanted me to be happy.

"Thank you," I whispered, feeling the words to be entirely inadequate. "Thank you very much."

"You might not be thanking me when Alice gets going. Your family are already planning to visit the big house at Christmas and she's bringing fabric samples."

"They're staying in the peninsula?" I shook my head in disbelief. "You _agreed_ to that?"

"I had a long talk with Sam and Carlisle, and we've decided to reinstate the treaty and the old boundaries. I don't know what Jasper plans to do, but I think that he'll probably come for the holidays too. He won't be on tribal land, so we've agree that it's ok."

I sat in stunned silence, trying to comprehend this new development. The news that my family were no longer banned from the peninsula lifted a heavy weight from my heart. I could hardly express what it meant to me. But Jake must have known that, which was why he'd offered the olive branch.

Jake stared down at me, quietly gauging my reaction. I lifted a hand to his cheek and looked him in the eye. My words came right from my heart.

"I love you, Jacob Black. You're best thing that ever happened to me. I couldn't be happy without you."

His face broke into a wide smile and he pulled me close. "Then I guess it's lucky that I feel exactly the same way about you."

* * *

><p><strong>Leo - the future<strong>

I arrived home at four in the morning. I'd been away for nearly two weeks and I was unbelievably glad to be back. As I pushed open the front door, I could hear Hal rustling around in the study. The rest of the house was silent. I walked quietly through the unlit hall and poked my head around the study door. My brother was sitting at his desk, absorbed in his work. He glanced up and smiled.

"Hello. Did you have a nice time?" He asked innocently.

I suppressed a smile, only Hal could make my hunt for two degenerate newborns sound like a pleasant country vacation.

"Yeah." I nodded quietly. "It was fine."

"Good, I'm glad you're safely home. Katherine will be relieved to see you."

I had spoken to Kathy nearly every day, but I knew that she'd been worried about the trail. It was all Brandon's fault. Halfway through the first week he'd called the house and very helpfully told her that the newborns were complete psychos. This was an exaggeration – they were only slightly deranged – but she'd taken his statement very much to heart.

Kathy hadn't given me a hard time about it, but the tone of her voice had almost brought me home. In the end it had been her who'd persuaded me to keep going. I guess she thought the world would be a better place without those two freaks in it. Or maybe she just understood that I wouldn't be satisfied to leave a trail unfinished.

"Is my girl asleep?"

"I think so," Hal replied in a hushed voice. "She went to bed three hours ago."

The complete silence upstairs implied that she was sleeping. I smiled and left Hal to his studies. I quietly climbed the darkened stairwell. Kathy and I both stayed in her bedroom whenever I was home, but I still kept all my gear in my bedroom. I was desperate to see her, I had missed her like crazy, but I didn't want to disturb her rest, so I went to my room to dump my backpack.

I tossed my pack into the corner; I couldn't be bothered to go through it until the morning. Sitting on the edge of my bed, I stripped off my jacket and boots. I caught sight of myself in the mirror. I looked pretty messed up. My clothes were covered in grit and mud, and there were a couple of fresh scars on my forearms. It was probably a good thing that I had a chance to get cleaned up, before my wife caught sight of me. I heaved a weary sigh and grabbed a clean towel, and headed for the bathroom.

Twenty minutes later I was back in my room. I towelled off my well-scrubbed body and dug a clean pair of shorts out of the cupboard. I was now in a reasonable state to face Kathy and I prayed that she wouldn't notice the new bite-marks right away. The last thing she needed was another reason to worry about me.

I crept across the dark hallway to her room and gently pushed open the door. My breath caught in my throat when I caught sight of my mate. It didn't matter how many times I saw her, Kathy still blew me away.

She lay on her back, completely motionless, in a deep trance. The only light in the room was filtering in through the window from the streetlamp outside. I could clearly see her beautiful profile, illuminated by the soft orange glow. Her eyes were closed and her thick hair swept across her pillow and around her shoulders.

I breathed a sigh of relief that she was safe and sound. I hated being away from her and I was never able to relax until she was back in my arms again. Closing the door quietly, I crossed the room and leaned over her sleeping form. Brushing a loose curl from her brow, I whispered her name.

"Kathy…"

Her eyes flew open, and I found myself staring into a pair of warm golden irises.

"Leo!" She smiled, reaching up and wrapping her arms my neck. "I'm so glad to see you."

"I'm glad to see you too, beautiful." I lowered my head to kiss her. She returned my kiss and pulled back the bedclothes. I crawled over her, caging her with my body. "It's been too long."

"You're right." Katherine surprised me with a swift roll, which put me on my back and landed her on top of me. She rested a hand on either side of my head and raised her body so that she was looking down on me. Her voice dropped to a husky whisper. "But now I've got you where I want you…"

"Are you so sure about that?"

"I'm absolutely positive." Kathy smiled.

I slipped my arms around her waist and tugged her down, enjoying the closeness as she lowered her body onto mine. She felt perfect in my arms, warm and tender.

"God," she breathed, resting her cheek on my collarbone. "I missed you so damn much. I got scared that you weren't going to make it back."

I heard the catch in her voice and felt a wave of guilt. Tucking her head under my chin I murmured. "I shouldn't put you through this. I'm sorry."

Katherine shook her head. Her soft hair tickled my throat as she hid he face against my shoulder. "No, it's ok. This is what you are, I'm fine with that."

I pulled back and stared into her face. "No, it's not ok. I know my tracking is hard on you, Kathy. I promise I'll cut back."

"You don't have to do that…"

"No, I really do. I shouldn't be making you worry. It's not fair."

She raised her hand and gently brushed her knuckles against my cheek. I could read the understanding in her eyes.

"Leo, you need to hunt. You wouldn't be happy if you couldn't. Honestly, I don't mind, as long as you're careful. And I know you have been since we got together." She didn't look away, adding intently. "Just promise me that when you fight, you win."

I smiled at her fierce expression. "I'll do my best."

"Good." Kathy nestled back against me, apparently satisfied by my answer. "I hate going on vengeance missions."

Her words caught my attention. I glanced at her sharply. "Are you serious?"

"About what?" She murmured, idly kissing my throat.

"About vengeance."

"What about it?"

"If something happened, would you try to avenge me, Kathy?" My mouth suddenly felt dry. "Would you…?"

I prayed to God that she was just joking. The thought of my precious angel hunting for revenge made me feel sick. She could be injured. She could be killed.

Katherine raised her head and looked me straight in the eye. Her voice was cold and deadly. "If someone hurt you, Leo, if someone took you away from me, it wouldn't matter what I had to do, or how long it took me. I would make them pay."

I took her lovely face in my hands and shook my head. "Don't talk that way. I wouldn't want you to do that. If the worst happened, you should let one of the guys take care of it. They wouldn't need an excuse, they like killing. There'd be no need for you to get your hands dirty."

"Oh, so I should just let one of your buddies handle it, and put it out of my mind?" Kathy pulled herself away from me and sat up. "What would _you_ do if someone hurt me?" She glared down at me stubbornly. "Would you let just let it go?"

I propped myself up on my elbow and frowned. "No, of course not." I felt a little insulted that she could even ask.

"Well then, know this." Her expression was grim and completely unyielding. "If you don't want me to go out for revenge, you'll just have to stay alive."

I wanted to argue with her. Tell her she was out of her mind, but then I caught sight of her scarred shoulders and arms. It hadn't been easy to persuade Katherine to talk about how she got those bite-marks. When she finally told me the stories, it had taken a fair amount of self-control not to put a chair through the window. I wanted to tear the sons of bitches who'd hurt her to pieces. But it transpired that I was too late. Kathy had already done the job.

The truth was that she was a lot tougher than I liked to acknowledge. Kathy was a fighter. I'd seen it with my own eyes. Like the way she's survived her first few dangerous months as a newborn, when I'd been foolhardy enough to take her tracking with me.

I still don't know what the hell I'd been thinking. I must have been crazy to take such a chance with her safety. I was an idiot, and it made my blood run cold to think of the risks I'd taken with her life. But she'd come through them like a trooper. Kathy was a pacifist in principal, but in practice, she did whatever she had to do. And I could see that on this matter there was no changing her mind.

"Ok, fine," I muttered grudgingly. "I'll stay alive."

After all, if I was dead how the hell could I keep my obstinate wife out of trouble?

Kathy gave me a long, appraising look and smiled. "Good." She then proceeded to make herself comfortable, lying down beside me and pulling the bedcovers over us both. "Well, I'm glad that's settled," she added, as if we'd been arguing over the colour of wallpaper.

I stayed on my back and she scooted towards me. Kathy lifted her head and tucked herself against my side, as I absently shifted my arm under her neck. I was still distracted by our conversation, but she placed a palm on my cheek and turned my head to face her.

"Hey. You ok?"

"Sure." I didn't like to admit that I was worried. "I'm just tired, that's all. It's been a busy fortnight."

"I know how I can help you…" She smiled.

I cheered up a little. "What do you have in mind?"

Kathy lifted her head and looked at me thoughtfully. "You need some sleep."

"I'm pretty sure that's not what I need."

"That's what you think, but you seem kind of stressed. A trance might relax you."

I could have told her what would relax me more, but instead I grumbled. "You know I can't do that. It never worked for me."

Kathy wore the expression of someone who was humouring a small child. "You never really gave it a shot, Leo. You were always too impatient. I know you're unlikely to fall into a full trance, you're not experienced enough, but I'm sure that I could help you relax." She then fixed me with a pleading look that I had absolutely no hope of refusing. "_Please_ let me try."

"Alright, fine." I gave a sigh of resignation. "Just tell me what I have to do."

Kathy ignored my reluctance and smiled happily. "Don't worry, you won't regret this. Just lie back and close your eyes."

"Aren't you going to swing a pocket watch in front of my eyes?" I smirked.

"You realise that the more time you waste, the longer this will take?" She didn't look very impressed, but she still added persuasively. "Come on, sweetheart. You're worn out… please, let me help you."

She was right, I may not have been physically tired, but my hunt had left me feeling really drained. Giving up my petty resistance, I dutifully closed my eyes and eased back against the pillow, and Kathy started speaking in a low voice. At first I didn't think it would work. I felt a fidgety and uncomfortable, but as I listened to her words I started to feel their effects.

Katherine spoke in a soft, steady rhythm, telling me what to listen for, guiding me down a quiet mental path until my body began to unwind. She made me focus on my breathing and I lost track of time. Minutes – or hours – passed and my breathing gradually slowed, until, for the first time in years, it ceased altogether.

I could no longer hear Kathy's voice, and without that anchor my thoughts dissipated and I floated away; weightless, formless and completely relaxed, drifting in the ether.

_I don't know how long I was suspended, but the darkness was suddenly shattered by points of light, weaving together before my eyes, creating a new universe and binding me to the earth once more. My spirit was caged in corporal form and I found myself standing on a sheer cliff, overlooking the ocean._

_Black clouds hung low in the sky and dark waves pounded the rocks below. A thick forest of firs grew behind me, stretching both ways along the coast. The scent of pine was heavy on the air, combined with the smell of impending rain. _

_I had a familiar feeling and I glanced around me. I had seen this coast before, but I couldn't place it. And I had the distinct feeling that I wouldn't normally be welcome. _

_But this time it didn't matter. I knew that for sure, because this wasn't now. This hadn't happened. This wouldn't happen for a very long time. _

_A small movement caught my eye and I glanced to my right. Out of the trees, a short way along the cliff, stepped an enormous wolf. He was a magnificent beast, huge and powerful, with a coat of the purest white fur that I'd ever seen. It glowed with a strange iridescence, luminous in the gloomy light. _

_The snowy wolf slowly approached the cliff edge, moving with an easy grace, and came to a standstill right on the brink. He stood for a long moment, just watching the ocean. He then took a step back and vibrations wracked his body and he transformed before my eyes. In an instant the beast became a man._

_The man was as striking as the wolf. He was well over six feet tall, strong and muscular, with straight, black hair falling past his shoulders. He lifted his head and I saw his face. He was undeniably handsome with high cheekbones and a strong jaw, but his expression revealed that he was more than just a pretty face. _

_He didn't look more than twenty five, but he surveyed the scene with a furrowed brow and a look of grim determination. His air of seriousness made it clear that he was a man to be reckoned with; someone who had lived a hard life and understood that authority had to be earned. And my instincts told me that he had plenty of authority._

_He finally turned his back on the sea and strolled towards the treeline. Just as I wondered where the shapeshifter was going, and if I should follow him, he took me by surprise by turning around and running towards the cliff edge. I sprang forward as he flew over the brink, and watched in awe as he hurtled towards the sea in an absolutely spectacular swallow dive. As he plunged into the ocean I heard a sweet and very familiar voice calling._

_"Wait…! Wait for me… don't go… please…" _

"Leo… _Leo!_" Kathy's alarmed voice broke into my thoughts.

Katherine was afraid and my instincts kicked into action. I was wrenched away from the cliff and back into myself.

I opened my eyes with a jolt. "_What the hell…?_"

"Oh, thank God." I heard Kathy gasp.

Without a thought, I rolled her under me, pinning her down and crouching into a protective stance above her. My lips were pulled back, exposing my teeth, as I snarled harshly and scanned the room for the danger.

Nothing was out of place and all I could hear was the ticking clock. Katherine lay frozen below me. Her breathing was short and I could feel her body trembling. After a few moments, she reached up and gently rubbed my chest.

"Hey, it's ok…"

I stopped growling and tore my eyes from the doorway. I glanced down at my wife, asking fiercely. "What frightened you?"

Kathy gave a shaky laugh. "You did." I must have looked as confused as I felt, because she shook her head and said. "I'm sorry. I just didn't expect you to go under so deep. I couldn't wake you up. And you weren't breathing…"

"I don't need air." I frowned, stating the obvious.

She looked slightly embarrassed. "I know. It's stupid. I always stop breathing when I fall into a trance, so I shouldn't have been bothered when you did too, but it scared the hell out of me. And then you wouldn't wake up..."

I took a deep breath, pulling myself out of my defensive mode. That's when I noticed that I still had Kathy pinned down. She looked uncomfortable and instantly I released my hold and backed off the bed.

"I'm sorry." I scanned her body, feeling ashamed. "Did I hurt you? I didn't mean to."

She sat up and replied sheepishly. "It's ok, I'm fine. You didn't hurt me. I'm just sorry I overreacted. I didn't mean to freak you out."

"I could say the same thing."

Kathy moved into a kneeling position on the bed. I rolled my shoulders and tried to calm the hell down. My blood was up and I knew that I was way too jumpy. I didn't like being around her like this. I was too dangerous. I needed to get out of the house until I'd cooled off.

Kathy seemed to read my mind and reached out to me. "Don't go. Stay with me." She climbed off the bed and took a step towards me. "Come on, Leo. We both know you're not going to hurt me."

I eyed her uneasily. "I should probably get some air."

"Stay…"

I reluctantly allowed her to slip her smooth hands around my waist and move in close. She rested her head against my chest and tightened her hold. She felt really good in my arms. I wound my arms around her and took a deep breath, drawing in her comforting scent. Kathy must have felt my body relax, because she gave a contented sigh.

"Mm… you feel nice."

As always, I found her irresistible. Within seconds my resistance had melted, and I found myself leaning in and gently brushing my lips along the column of her throat.

"You feel better, beautiful."

Kathy turned her head and kissed me. When she finally pulled away, her expression was curious. "So… what happened?"

"Huh?" My focus was still on her mouth.

She smiled. "When you were under? What was it like?"

I shook my head. "Don't know quite what happened. It was really strange." Kathy waited patiently as I tried to find the words. "At first I felt disconnected… and then… then I saw someone."

She looked serious. "Who did you see?"

"I…"

I shook my head in frustration. I felt as if I should know, but the answer was just out of reach. Katherine raised a hand to my cheek and gazed up at me with wide eyes.

"Who was it, Leo?"

My frustration eased. I was no longer concerned about my strange dream.

All I could see was Katherine, and all I could think of was how much I loved her. Her past, present and future were inextricably bound to mine. Fate had dealt her more than her fair share of troubles, but she'd never lost her humanity. I was sure that she deserved a reward.

And, out of nowhere, an image of the white wolf flashed through my mind and my inner voice finally made itself heard. This time it wasn't whispering, it shouted the truth. Just as it always had, my intuition showed me the way and I immediately knew who was in my vision.

My cool heart was warmed as I gazed down at my mate and realised what the future held for her. I had never been surer of anything in my whole life. I caught her in my arms and squeezed her tight.

"Leo, what's going on?" Kathy laughed in surprise as I lifted her off her feet.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and I stared into her sweet face. She looked justifiably confused, so I gave a wide smile and shared the good news.

"I saw our godson."

**~*~ THE END ~*~**

* * *

><p><strong>Dear Readers,<strong>

**This end note is going to be a bit longer than usual, so here goes…**

**First of all, I can't believe that I've just posted the last chapter of the story! **

**I started posting it over two years ago, and I can honestly say that there have been many times when I seriously doubted that I would finish it (I probably wasn't the only one!). The plot was clear in my head, but there just seemed to be a lot to write!**

**For everyone who's made it this far (75 chapters, to be exact) I am so unbelievably grateful for all your time and interest. You'll never know how much it means to me. Thank you very much :) **

**When it comes to thank yous, I also have to mention my beta, willowbae. She has given me continuous entertainment, moral support and help, and I could _never_ have done this without her. She is truly a wonderful friend and a perfect beta. **

**And, for my reviewers, I would never have posted the whole story if it hadn't been for you too. I am pretty sure that I have the nicest reviewers ever :)**

**In the time since I started posting this story, I had moments when I felt tired or discouraged. The people who let me know that they were still reading motivated me to keep going. I am so glad that I did, and I am so grateful to everyone who took the time to give me feedback. It made all the difference.**

**There are a number of people who faithfully and regularly reviewed, and I have to say an extra thanks to them. It means so much to me that they did, and I feel really lucky to have had the chance to get to know them better. I am going to miss our little conversations *sniff*. **

**And while I'm on the thank yous (although she won't read this) it seems right to mention Stephenie Meyer, because she invented the world of Twilight and has taken a positive attitude towards the fan fiction community (unlike some authors). Twific has enriched my life and I feel very lucky to have the forums in which to read and write it :)**

**It's going to be strange not be working on this story, sad but also quite liberating too, as it's taken up quite a lot of my time. **

**Who knows, I might actually have a chance to work on The Black Pirate (which I put on hold to finish The Tracker). I enjoy writing that story and I have some more ideas for it, so it might be nice to get them written down. Maybe after Christmas…**

**Anyway, that's about all for the moment! Thank you for reading, have a wonderful Christmas and New Year.**

**Lots and lots of love,**

**Mad :)**


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